Original subtitles

Tom, you've been a great crowd. Here we go.

Two guys are out golfing. They're about to putt. First guy lines his shot up,

and just as he does, a funeral procession passes by the golf course.

guy takes his hat off, and he watches the entire procession go by.

He got us with him. He goes, my God, that's the most respectful thing I've

seen in my life.

Guy goes, yep, we would have been married 25 years today.

All right, everybody, last joke of the night. Here we go. Beat -up guy's

down a Las Vegas strip. He walks up to a tourist and says, hey, man.

I lost my credit cards.

My family and I are broke, and I'm just trying to get them some food and some

gas for the car to get them home.

Can you spare anything?

Well, the man starts to give him $20, and he says, hey, you're not going to

this to gamble, are you? The beat -up guy goes, hold on, I got gambling money.

All right, folks, that's it for me. Have a great night, and good luck at the

tables out there.

Ladies and gentlemen, one more of these litigants is killed tonight.

I'd have been better if those two clowns hadn't heckled me earlier.

Hey,

you got a sec?

Jets covered by two and a half?

Lost by seven. Cardinals ate them up. Shit, that ruined a three -team parlay.

How'd the Chargers do?

Fouts threw two interceptions, lost by 14.

That was my chase bet.

Hey, get me in line on Monday night, and I'll get the money to clean this mess

up. Buddy.

You're in everyone's pocket. How are you going to do that?

I'll handle it.

I got stuff to run by you. Not now. Give me ten.

Love the wheelchair.

Love the hat.

Oh, Pete.

Remember that game we were talking about?

Yeah. I took the Cardinals.

They won by seven.

Now Bobby and I can finally take that trip to Palm Springs.

Great. Send me a postcard.

Sure thing, Pete.

Everybody's winning.

Leave me a message.

Mr. Finnegan, this is Linda from Nevada Bell. This is our final call.

You have until Monday, 5 p .m., to pay the outstanding balance of $325 before

shut your phone off. Please return this call as soon as possible. You can reach

me at 702 -555 -2425.

What's your final call yesterday?

Mr. Finnegan, this is John with the Las Vegas Federal Credit Union.

Please call us back as soon as possible. You have until the 24th before your car

is repossessed and returned to the bank.

Please get hold of me here at Las Vegas Federal with any questions.

Hey, Pete, you there? It's Jimmy.

Petey, you better pick up.

All right, call me when you get this. I may stop by the club later. You better

have something good for me.

Mr. Finnegan, it's our fourth and final call.

As we know, your car insurance has lapsed again.

We need proof of insurance. I can't make the car payment. What makes you think I

can pay the insurance?

Call at 1 -800 -555 -2500.

Here's another five minutes.

What? What now?

You don't kill me, I'm just the messenger.

Jimmy's on the floor and he's not looking very happy.

Go get his money.

Is that it?

Louie's been in and out a couple times. He asked about the show.

My show?

I didn't say anything.

Anything else?

Nah.

Except you know that Shireen broad, the one who's always looking for you? Well,

she's looking for you.

What are you bringing that up for?

You asked if there was anything else.

She's Johnny B's wife. You know that. Yeah, I know that.

Okay, so there's nothing to talk about.

All right.

You know there's nothing going on there, right?

Yeah, okay.

All right, go away.

You know, you can be a real asshole sometimes.

Oh, and by the way, I got a couple pails waiting for you. You're set for the

slot.

Nobody's in the room, so you have your pick of machines.

I'm going home now.

Let's sing, son.

What are you smiling at?

Oh, hello, ladies.

Be nice. Be nice to me right now.

Be nice to you all.

Howdy, girl.

One more time. One more time.

Nice.

Would you like a little more to eat?

Huh? Still hungry?

You'll be five. You'll pay me 20. That's our deal, right? I think that's our

deal.

Five plus five.

Hey!

Very nice.

All right. You're going to be nice? You're going to be nice? Are you going

nice? I don't care.

Very nice. Very nice.

He loves you. I do. That's it.

I do.

All right.

Come on now.

Love it.

Be good to me. Be good to me. That's amazing.

Be good to me.

Be good now. Be good. There you go. That's a little royalty. We love to

We love paint cards. We sure do. Oh, come on. So close.

I'm jacked off, huh? Sorry about that.

Okay, sorry.

Sorry.

I knew you were going to do it. I knew you were going to do it.

Come on. We've done together a long time.

Honey man, it wiped out.

Is it gone now?

Never heard a joke about a whale before.

Good one.

Luck will be good for you tonight.

How do you know?

The great... Spirit, what may be bad for some, good for others, dangerous for

some.

Thanks for taking care of me, Jackie.

You know about the steak and eggs at the Golden Nugget? So good.

Best meal for $2 .29 in town.

Thank you for my steak and eggs.

Enough for a good tip now.

Sure.

Bad luck for me here.

Good luck for me eating steak and eggs.

I'll be back later, well -joked man.

We need to reload.

You'll be good to me today.

Get the bad luck off of you guys.

Smoking an unlit cigarette and talking to a busted unicorn.

What genius.

Words out.

Hey, Jenny. You had him howling.

I killed.

Oh, so humble.

Murdered. Slayed.

Decapitated. Oh, yeah. I heard.

Will you do me a favor?

May I have a Virgin Mary, 40 bucks for the quarters, and please keep the

Yes, sir.

Hair decapitator.

Hey, how'd you pull off the whole non -smoking thing?

Don't ask. They don't get it. I asked them to try it as an experiment. Maybe

they'll stick because I need to quit.

Yes, you do.

Fuck

me

sideways. You're on this fucking machine again.

The only part that gets the worm.

And sick fuck gamblers are always sick as fuck.

You playing long?

Until I start to lose.

You got my money?

I'm working on that.

Um, Pete, you want to know what they say about patience?

What's that, Jimmy? It fucking runs out.

I'd borrow some of that money.

You know that, right, Pete?

And I like you.

But the guy's I .O.? I'll get the money.

Hey.

Heard you were funny tonight.

Every dog has his day.

I'll be back in an hour. I've got to go pick up some Testonis from a guy

upstairs.

Am I supposed to know what Testonis are?

Sneaker -wearing motherfucker like you has got no idea what Testonis are. Why

not? Because they're 15 grand a pair, that's why.

Who the hell even wears those?

A Chinaman I know. Every year calls me.

Wants me to pick them up, polish them, do a little heel work. I'm the only guy

in Vegas he trusts.

I think that he's financially secure. Yeah, right?

Hey, you know that cocktail waitress, Jenny?

Yeah, you mean the one with the kid Jasmine?

Yeah. So I took a run at her.

Bitch told me to stop bothering her.

When you win some, you lose some, Jenny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I hear her kid's in the emergency room like twice a month. She's got that bad

breathing type shit. She's got this oxygen thingy all the time. What, she

every cent on the kid?

Hey, what size?

13D.

How'd you know?

Because I'm a professional, Pete.

And you need to get my money.

Yeah.

Just sat down, ladies. But I hear the corner machine is bloated and ready to

pop. Hear from who?

Well, let's just say he has enough keys on his key chain to open any machine in

the casino.

Technicians tell you that? Alice, why would a freaking tech want to rat out

own place, huh?

Suit yourself.

You planning to play here long?

Until I start losing.

We won $600 yesterday.

Alice, what?

I'm telling you, the corner machine is ready to pop.

What's it hurt? Throw five, ten dollars at it. Because you have the only working

poker machine. That's why. Ladies, I am here until I start losing.

Fuck it.

Ten bucks. Not a penny more. Not a penny more. You're right.

Never keep your promise. I'll do it with this guy.

I don't want that machine.

We won't have enough.

We won't have enough.

She doesn't know. No, he don't know.

Well,

one

down, nine to go.

What about her? Now, she's working over at the human bus.

Now, this freaking A -Rab sits at her table for three hours, won 600 grand,

tips off 50K.

Thank you, now.

Oh, my goodness.

That's the biggest one, I think. I know.

Exactly.

Hang on.

That is weird.

What? You're not going to pay?

I want a pit boss.

and a floor manager. Calm down, they're gonna pay. They better pay.

She broke? She broke.

Ugh.

This machine is broke.

There's no more play in this machine.

We put a lot of good money in that machine, and now you're going to stiff

want a pit ball and a floor manager.

I am the boss of the pit.

This doesn't add up.

Ladies, I recognize you. You will pay on the spin.

However, this machine is down until it can be reparated, so you go cash out of

the cage, capisce?

Come on, Alice. Let's go get our money. All right.

Congratulations,

ladies. Yeah, thanks for the tip. You know this is bullshit, right? They come

at me with all this shit. Talk about that machine. Go ahead,

darling. Stop it.

Machine broke?

Yeah, it's like they knew it wasn't supposed to hit, and when it did, weird.

Well, I could tell you stories about weird in this place, particularly in

room. Yeah? But then I'd have to kill you, you know.

Casino secrets.

But Jimmy looked really pissed when I saw him.

Well, a loan shark wouldn't do that to a guy. You know he's mobbed up, right?

Full -time mobster, part -time shoemaker.

Only in Vegas.

Is it true he used to be the shoe guy for Wayne Newton back in the day? That's

what I hear.

Strange. Thanks for the drink. Thank you.

Hey. Yes?

Please be careful.

You don't want to owe these guys. Plus, I like your face the way it is.

Lucky yet?

Kinda.

That's weird.

Power failure?

Looks like.

Well,

you are a very wise man.

Excuse me?

You, sir.

Huh? You are a very wise man to be playing at one of the best machines in

Las Vegas, sir.

This giant machine reminds me of a great giant film.

You know, the one from Texas, uh, James Dean Giant.

Well, thanks. I like the machine like the movie.

Is it K -United on your shirt?

Yes. You a pilot?

Senior 737 mechanic, sir.

Cool. I love planes. Ever since I'm a kid, you're on Spitfires and ME -109s in

junior high. Big fan.

I drew P -51s and Zeros.

You hear about that new Airbus plane the Germans, Brits, and French all helped

design? It's supposed to be a great plane.

Junk. If it ain't a Boeing, I ain't going.

Really? You can take it to the bank.

They say a camel is a horse designed by a committee, sir.

Yet in the French, the Brits, and the Germans, to agree on what to serve for

lunch is almost a war. Deciding in airframe?

Oh, I should have.

Name's Pete.

No, Akash. By gosh.

What? Never mind. It's great to meet you, Akash.

You do nothing.

I love this country!

A chalk pot on your first walk away.

Mr. DePete, I think you are right.

My wife will be very happy. I will bring this money to her.

You might get lucky twice tonight, Akash.

Might happen precisely, Mr. DePete. Congrats.

I'll help you out. Thank you. Sure, sir.

Wow, man. Nice cake.

Wow.

Congrats, man.

Thank you.

Good luck.

Good luck.

Woo!

What's wrong with you?

It ain't the freaking comic.

Johnny, how was the lounge tonight?

I pulled a freaking teeth.

Two things they liked. Why did the bumblebee and Louie Louie?

My wife?

Not since I sat down a couple hours ago.

Licked every goddamn thing every goddamn time.

You're supposed to meet her here?

Duh. You think I want to be sitting here in the lane, no smoking sections?

Give me a break.

You know, it's weird the crowd that would like Louie Louie would also dig

Bumblebee. But you are a world -class accordionist. Quarter box player.

I told you my quarter box costs more than your piece of shit Chevy.

Quarter box, I'm sorry. Not an accordion. It could sound like a Hammond

Rhodes Piano. The son of a bitch got 66 tubes in the circuit.

I get it.

I know, I know, I know. I'm a world -class actor on an instrument nobody

heard of.

But do you want a piece?

Thank you, sir. Fuck you. I'm serious. You ever been?

Yeah.

Uh, Shereen took me down there a couple of years ago.

Wanted to buy some Mexican blankets and pottery.

So we come to this one place that has, uh, velvet paintings.

Horrible, poor shit.

Jesuses, Elvis's, Marilyn Monroe, topless shit.

But then, out of the corner of my eye...

I see this one Elvis painting just, it was like hidden behind a bunch of junk,

like it wasn't even good enough to sell.

And the colors were subdued, not all bright and touristy, but his face was

it was full of paint.

It was like the guy who did the Mona Lisa snuck in and he did this one Elvis

painting.

So I asked how much, and the guy said,

Not enough money in the world for that one, senor.

It was like this guy did this one amazing painting just to show the world

himself that he wasn't a phony fucking hack.

Hey, Johnny.

How about the accordion?

Quarter bucks.

It's gonna be hip again in a few years.

Yeah. Yeah.

Tell that.

Piano, organ, you're good.

Just play what's hip now and save the quarter box for tunes like Bumblebee.

You know you're compared to Louis Prima, right?

Only your show's funnier. And your girls are sexier than Keely Smith or that

other brownie. They're both frickin' dancers, too.

Legit ballet. I mean, Serene studied ballet for eight frickin' years.

You are a very lucky man.

Yeah.

Yeah, this don't -be -dago really scored, huh?

And if you don't mind me saying, those fishnets and leotards, they were cut a

quarter inch higher. Both girls look like their legs are six feet tall, just

their legs.

I had nothing to do with it.

The girls picked them out.

But yeah, I call it a ten -pound feat and a five -pound shock.

What's up with broads?

I just know they want to know you're looking without them catching your look.

Why is my wife always looking for you?

Always talking about you.

Huh?

Meet me in that room where Pete plays.

What's that all about?

She thinks I'm funny.

And like my job is to be funny?

I know that she's your wife 100%. Okay?

You seen Left Hook and Jimmy?

Jimmy went to go get some shoes off an Oriental guy.

Don't Louie.

Left Hook, where'd he get that name? Do you use the box?

Yeah.

He had a few pro fights.

More of a street fighter type.

Trust me.

He's part cause of the Sands, the Trap, the Frontier, the Union Plaza, Caesars,

the Nugget.

Makes great tips.

But if he's had a few in him, he goes Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hart on anybody who

gives him any kind of shit.

His weapon, left hook. One punch, lights out, boom.

Price hasn't killed anybody.

Then they fire his ass.

The casinos, they give the victims a few grand.

Well, they give him a sweep for a week and he goes to work someplace else.

And they keep hiring him?

Call protection.

His mom was a...

was Mormon royalty who was a widow who married his dad, a piece of shit from

Chicago.

So the Mormons and the wise guys got his back.

Casinos suck it up, he keeps working.

I mean, he makes enough money with his strong -arm work.

He don't need to park cars, but he loves the stars who come through.

Aren't you kind of scared to hang out with a guy like that?

He loves musicians, loves Vegas.

I mean, every time he parks a car for an actor type,

He gets all goo -goo -ga -ga like a real star fucker.

Most of the time, he's a pussycat.

But if he's had a few in him, walk the fuck away.

Either one of them shows.

Tell him to be at the American Express office. It's easy.

Did you lose your credit card?

Nah. Some asshole kept yelling out, play Louie Louie, so I played the frickin'

tune for 35 minutes straight.

Guy tipped me in American Express traveler's checks for 200 bucks.

So, I figure I better cash it in before he sobers up and changes his mind.

Did you hear the dirty lyrics?

Duh.

Hey, when my wife shows up, tell her her husband, the cocksucker, who pays all

the goddamn bills, will be at the American Express office.

Caesars, then we're going to be at the Nugget. I'll pair it for us.

Louis?

You just missed Johnny B?

He went over to the Amex at Caesars. He said he wanted you to meet him over

there.

Is there a problem?

Yeah.

They fired me.

Twice.

I've got a persona non... Greta? Yeah.

That's it.

Got some of your show.

Thanks. Yeah.

I was watching from the wing.

Why don't you decide to do comedy?

Tell stories for a living.

You really want to know?

Yeah.

Well, I guess I was always kind of a class clown.

I was kind of a class fuck -up.

Yeah.

It came to a head my freshman year of college.

I had a speech class.

But it was party time, you know, so frat houses were selling beer, 10 cents a

giant red cup.

That's cheap, yeah.

Since I had to study for chemistry and English, I ignored the lame speech

You know, more time to party, right?

Yeah.

Problem was, I didn't turn in a lick of homework, so I'm failing.

But the class was set up so that your final speech was worth 50 % of your

All right.

So for 50 % of the class, if I can somehow pull off an A, then the ex -cop

teacher has to give me a C for the class.

Ex -cop?

Uh, XLAPD. Yeah, fuck him.

Fuck him indeed.

Problem is... What?

I'm hungover.

I got no speech.

I have no idea what I'm gonna say in front of this class.

I got nothing.

You are so screwed. Bingo. This pimply -faced kid is droning on and on about

Maui parrot bill going extinct. He's got charts and photos, all kinds of stuff.

And then I see it.

See what?

On his metal trash can, the XLAPD has put up one of those fake basketball

You know, like the real ones, but with a four - or five -inch hole. The kind you

try to hit with a wadded -up piece of paper. Kind of a gag thing. Yeah, I've

seen those.

So Parakeet Boy finishes to weak applause.

Mr. LAPD looks at me and says, I guess it's your turn, Finnegan.

Shit.

Yeah, on the inside, I'm thinking, Ron!

But on the outside, I'm acting cocky as hell. Mr.

LAPD is smiling because he knows I got nothing.

Oh, shit.

So I'm smiling, I'm shucking, I'm jiving. Fake it till you make it.

start concocting this story about a popular new sport sweeping the West

called trash can hoops.

That's a great idea.

That game could take off.

It's not a real game, Louie.

But it is my 15 minutes, so he lets me keep digging my own grave.

I'm talking about the history of the game, its origins, its roots.

Complete bullshit.

But I am noticing.

Cute girls are laughing out loud and looking at me in ways they never have

before. That's what I'm talking about, Pete. So I spiel for the whole 15

minutes. But Mr.

LAPD still thinks he's got me by the ball. How's he got you by the ball?

He says, and I quote, Class, you've just witnessed a fraud.

A talented young man with the gift of gab, but a fraud.

Public speaking must be truth -based, and those pretending to be experts must

prove they're bona fides. and not just blow hot air.

Hmm?

That's what I'm thinking.

So I turn to the LAPD guy and I say and proclaim, sir, every word I have

just said to you is 100 % true.

And he looks at me and says, all right, Fennec, you sit in your seat and throw a

piece of paper through this hoop and I'll give you an A.

Fuck yeah.

So I grab a piece of notebook paper. I crumple it up in a ball. I lick it like

I'm some kind of expert.

And without looking, I lob this thing at the trash can and swish!

Nothing but net. Doesn't even hit the rim.

No fucking way. I thought LAPD man was gonna piss his pants. The class erupts.

The two cutest girls in class give me their phone numbers. Guys are high

me. It was unbelievable.

You really that good at throwing paper that far?

What are you talking about? It was a miracle. Never before or since have I

thrown anything at anything and even come close to hitting it. Oh, so it was

like a sign?

A sign from God.

And right after that, I did open mic for the first time in my life.

Wow.

What a great story.

And look at you now.

You're all right, Louie.

Screw anyone who says otherwise.

Yeah.

Huh? You know what I do?

You collect.

Listen to me, Pete.

If you have plastic, max it out.

Get a cash advance.

Whatever.

If I get the call...

Nothing personal.

Okay?

I understand.

If it comes to it, halfway up the forearm is

the way to go.

Put the arm a certain way in a phone book.

And it's one swift move.

Crack.

You avoid all those tiny bones in the wrist.

No compound fracture.

Easy peasy.

Six weeks in a cast.

You're right -handed, right?

Yeah.

Then I'll do the left arm.

That way you can still wipe your ass.

Don't worry.

I'll stay way away from your face.

You still do your comedy.

Just tell them you flipped on the shower.

But do me a favor.

Call in some loans.

Max out the cards.

I'm really hearing you, Louis.

If only you were an asshole.

The job would be so much more fun.

One more thing.

You ain't supposed to know none of this.

Okay?

But if you pay 30, 40 % of your debt, all collections, stop.

So if you owe 30K, just get them 12, 13, and

they leave me out of it.

You gotta show respect.

No smart -ass bullshit.

Just keep paying.

Understood?

Major surgery, huh?

Excuse me? A repair of the machine.

Machines. As in plural.

As in weird.

Huh? Huh?

Look, you, uh, you work in the main room, right?

Pete Finnegan, world -class comedian for drunken Vegas degenerates at your

service.

Oh, do you mind?

No, take a load off.

Since you're almost an employee, I guess I can tell you.

Okay.

We have anomalies.

Anomalies? In this room only.

A few years ago, we had a spike at the roulette wheel, some weirdness at the

craps table, but we figured that out. We fired the dealer, the wheel's back to

operating normally.

But out of dozens of slots and games in this room, we're paying out way beyond

our calculations.

So you know when the machines are going to hit? No, we don't cheat.

We don't cheat.

But we have math PhDs and actuaries who can pretty much predict within a couple

percent how each machine or game is going to do, you know, over time.

And when we get a room or an area that overpays, it's called an anomaly.

I've always loved this room.

Four causes.

Four causes.

Number one, by large margin cheating. Outside job.

Trust me, you've been on camera scrutinized from the second you sat

no, don't, don't. Do not look up.

What are two, three, and four?

Two is inside job, three is machine malfunction, and four is random slash

unknown slash luck.

This is a lucky room.

Or... What?

You ever see The Exorcist?

I'm not gonna puke pea soup, am I?

Sometimes, something comes in, and for lack of a better word, takes possession

of a room or an area, a slot, a machine, even a table.

There's this mobbed -up casino in Quebec.

They found one table in the poker room was producing off -the -chart wins.

They tried every single dealer they had.

All of them dealt winning hands to the players.

House was just going to close the room down, but the pit boss was some kind of

Indian. He suggested getting a medicine man, burn some sage, say some prayers.

Sure enough.

Ding, ding, ding.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

That table turns into a profit center.

Did you bring any sage?

I'm serious.

Oh, crap.

I forgot my meter.

Well, while the getting's good, there's a real possibility we shut this room

down.

Oh, they don't think I'm cheating, do they?

Well, if you are, you're using mind controller ESP.

You've been watched at this very machine for weeks, past every test.

The boys actually think you're a regular non -pro player.

I gotta go get my beater.

I'll be back.

You do that. I'll be here.

Hey, Johnny B show?

Uh, yeah, he went over to Caesar's to cash some traveler's checks.

Was he going somewhere?

No, it was a tip for playing Louie Louie for like 40 minutes.

What's in the box?

Those are the Testonis.

The box is nicer than any shoes I've ever owned. I know, right?

Uh, Johnny B, say he's coming back?

Not sure. What are you guys up to?

Breakfast at the Nugget. Best eggs in town.

Oh, eggs.

Steak and eggs, eggs Benedict, eggs Florentine, and the potatoes on the

edge of being burned, not greasy at all.

Best thing is they serve all day.

24 -7 heaven, my friend.

They do have a fix -it machine?

Not yet. I think it's got some kind of anomaly.

Shit on a shankle. You find a good machine and these assholes shut it down.

That'd be so maddening.

What the fuck is wrong with the world?

The machine's malfunction.

No, not the machine, her.

There's always one that looks like she'd run into a burning orphanage to save a

baby, and the other one looks like she'd eat a baby.

I don't know.

Hey, Pete.

I got you something.

Read it.

Read it.

Please.

Hey, Mr. Man.

Mish Moneypenny.

You seen Johnny?

Uh, he was just here. Went to cash a check at the Amex place.

Yuck shaking my ass for half an hour to Louis Luai.

Things we do for our art compete.

How do you look so good after three shows a day?

Oh.

Jeans? You're right. You look good in them.

What?

Your jeans.

G -E -N -E -S.

Well, your G -E -N -E -S looks great in this J -E -A -N -S.

I heard you're on fire tonight.

Everybody was talking about a whale joke.

Narwhal. A kind of whale with a long horn for a snout.

Okay, let's hear it, funny man. No. No, come on. I love hearing your stories.

All right.

A penguin wakes up in the middle of the ocean. See, he's frozen solid in the

block ice. Can't move an inch.

A narwhal whale, the kind with a horn for a snout, swims up to him.

Penguin says, please, Mr. Norwell, can you break the ice?

And Norwell looks at him and goes, you got any hobbies?

That's it?

I've got you smiling.

Oh, okay, yes, fine. You've got me smiling, Pete.

You know, I was reading in Cosmo last month. They did a survey, and they asked

women, what are the sexiest things that a man can do for a girl?

Diamonds. New Mercedes.

Those don't hurt. But, and I quote, he makes me laugh was way up there on the

list.

You make me laugh.

A lot.

Can you keep a secret?

Sure.

When this contract is up, we're moving to California.

Johnny and I are going to open up a music store and a dance studio. He's

to run the music side. I'm going to run the dance studio.

Sounds great.

Expensive. My dad's going to partner with us.

Cool. He owns eight trailer parks in and around Vegas.

Wow. Your dad is the trailer parking of Vegas?

Go figure.

So what are you going to do, Pete?

Huh?

This town is... sick.

If it isn't the drinking or the drugs or the phony hyped -up sex.

the bullshit.

Sure, there's some nice people, some are even normal, but so many are living in

a pipe dream that if they play a certain machine or hum a certain

tune before they make a bet, their lives will miraculously change overnight.

You mean the kind of guy that has black...

Coin soils all over his hands and neck.

Tells himself he's just too wound up after the show to go home. So he plays

through the night, every night.

Wiping away the stains, praying they don't stick. Swearing up and down that

tonight will be different.

You mean that guy?

Who doesn't have a gambling problem?

You're going to come visit me?

Yeah. You're going to tell me where?

I'm looking at Orange County.

You know, I just want to raise a couple kids in the cookie cutter suburb, grow

some roses, and join the PTA.

I can't wait to visit you.

This could have worked out differently, you know.

Go to the suburbs.

Have kids.

Grow your roses.

I changed my mind.

Hey, you're the comic.

Hey, we were the two guys heckling you earlier. We're helping you out, helping

you set up. Hey,

tell us a joke. Listen, guys, I got to run. I got to get back in.

Come on, don't be a dick.

Well, they're waiting on me. One joke.

Don't be like that.

All right, guy's walking down the beach, finds a genie lamp, rubs the lamp,

genie pops out, says, I'll grant you two wishes.

Guy says, well, I thought it was three.

He says, look in your pants. Guy looks in his pants. He's got a huge schlong.

Guy looks up at the genie. Genie goes, I've been doing this a while.

That's good.

That's fucking funny.

That's a fucking funny, my man.

Okay,

have a great night.

Assholes.

Did you win big yet?

Not big, but I am winning.

You will.

Win big?

Yes.

I was just baking eggs.

The line was too long.

Damn, I know a guy. Could have got you a table.

It's okay. I ain't here. The employee table.

The rolls are stale.

You know, that jewelry is amazing.

And the stone's almost hypnotic.

It belonged to my great -great -grandfather, Jack.

And the colors?

He was a prophet.

Cool.

A real prophet.

My great -grandfather was a drunk. A real drunk.

Where this casino is was where my people got their water for thousands of years.

An oasis in the desert?

No water for miles and miles, but plenty water here.

Then the white man came and moved the people out.

That sucks.

Sorry.

It's not your fault.

He didn't steal the water.

I know, but... Sorry anyways.

If you win big tonight, you have to leave this place.

Then you must give all the money away.

If you keep any of the money, you will think that you're the reason why you

You had nothing to do with it.

The Great Spirit allowed you to win to teach you to give.

So you must leave.

Do not be here when the sun rises.

The Great Spirit is active and out of my hands. I cannot change it or stop it.

I sense the Great Spirit will send a powerful message.

Remember, if you win big tonight, it is to teach you to give.

The only way to cleanse your soul is to give away every penny.

Still at it, killer?

That was spooky.

What, the power failure or the Indian woman?

Both.

Yeah, she has... Ability. Ability.

That's it.

She said I'm going to win big.

Well, from her lips... From the great spirit's ears.

You just wound up as I am? Well, my legs are tired, my feet are dead, but my

mind... I couldn't sleep now if I tried.

How's steak and eggs, though?

The nugget? Of course.

Well, I'm not walking.

Cab's on me. That'll work.

All right. Let me play a few more hands. We'll cash out and then we'll wind down

at the nugget.

Well, hurry up and lose.

You got me hungry.

Oh, my God.

That's the group.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That's a progressive.

Don't believe me.

She said it.

She said it was going to happen.

God, I've been sitting here.

You.

You just won a $15 ,000 progressive.

Now, you don't have enough coins to cover this, okay?

So what do you want? You want chips?

You want a check?

Chips. Take the $15 ,000. 15 big chips.

15 big chips.

As of right now, at this chronological moment in time, this room is officially

shut down permanently until further notice.

Please leave.

You're going to meet me in a cage.

Okay? You got lots of paperwork to fill out that's predominantly tax info. Now,

if you have any coins on you whatsoever from this machine, you return them right

now, your chips will be reduced. Do you understand that?

I do. Get out of here. Okay.

I'll meet you at the cage in ten minutes. I got to pay like my source.

we'll go to the Nugget. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm a lucky son of a bitch.

Okay, get all the coins.

Then tape it off, the whole room.

Wow. I still can't believe you hit the progressive.

All right, one shot. Thank you.

Oh, you are definitely not sleeping.

How are you drinking all that coffee?

Pavlov's dog. You show me breakfast and my brain goes, coffee.

I'll go home, watch some reruns of Gunsmoke, and two hours I'll be snoring

a baby.

Remember that racehorse?

Huh? Oh, come on. The one you had to pee like.

Yeah. Well, now it's my turn.

Watch my purse.

Yeah, I got you.

You know that cocktail waitress, Jenny?

I hear a kid's got that bad breathing type shit, got this oxygen thing all the

time. What, she's in the emergency room like twice a month?

Remember, the only way to cleanse your soul is to give away every penny.

Oh my God, Pete, there's a fire at the MGM Grand.

What? I don't know. They were saying people were trapped.

Holy shit.

Oh my God.

We're just there.

I gotta... I gotta get Jasmine. We gotta go. I gotta go. Okay, okay.

I already got a customer. Get another cab.

You're not coming? I'm on the other side of town. I'll grab the next cab. Hey,

get on home fast and safe. I'll call you. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay, go, go. Get a cab. I'm going.

Jimmy? Pete, congrats. Heard you hit the jackpot.

I believe you have something for me.

Where's Louie?

I didn't think I needed to bring Louie.

Because you're here to get even. Right, Pete?

Tell me you're here to get even.

That's for Jimmy and Ma.

Let's go.

Well, that's a fucking shame, Pete.

I know.

Now I gotta do what I want to.

Get in.

The natural wonders, the boom from the thunder, I keep it 100, I am all the

numbers.

I am all the numbers, I am all the numbers.

The natural wonders, the boom from the thunder, I keep it 100, I am all the

numbers. I am all the numbers, I am all the numbers.

Ancient, ancient, ritual.

They keep trying to bury us. They didn't know that we are thieves.

We'd rather die standing than live.

The rest of our lives aren't...

They said that we can't ride the storm.

We clap back with me on the storm.

We people seek out revenge.

We can't endure more than we think we can. I am my own muse. The subject that

know the most.

Nothing is absolute.

Everything changes. The subject I want to know better.

I am my own muse.

The subject that I know the best.

Nothing is absolute.

Everything changes. The subject I want to know better. I'm going to be honest.

I'm going to stay honest. Captain like a fossil. Super like the sonic. Derived

from the tonic. Define the logic while staying on top. Can nobody stop it? I'm

going to be honest. I'm going to stay honest. Captain like a fossil. Super

the sonic. Derived from the tonic. Define the logic while staying on top.

nobody stop it?

I am all the numbers.

Ancient, ancient rituals.

Indigenous, infamous, relentless sentiments.

Arguments that keep us down are so meaningless.

Serious consequence, burning my documents.

Eagles that fly, they can see all the pestilence. Culture not negligent. Open

the eyes of the sun watching down on us. And let us be pushing the sun through

us. Influence from those who sense us, surrounding us. Bata mama, whose

operations are sounding us. My pride is infinite, what doth I be hounding us?

Come to the sun, don't be scared when they're sounding us.

In the jungle, when I walk out, I'll stumble.

Volcanoes, the rumble, we'll dive and be humble. The feet of precision, that

feeling to come through. And we never ran from what it is that we run through.

Tierra del agua, my hands in the dirt, Nicaragua. My pride is my power, the

wicked devoured. All the days and the hours, spit verses to flowers.

Not for the towers, they walk from the towers. The sweet and the sour, this

of the Nahuas.

The natural wonders, the boom from the thunder, I keep it 100, I am all the

numbers.

I am all the numbers, I am all the numbers.

The natural wonders, the boom from the thunder, I keep it 100, I am all the

numbers. I am all the numbers, I am all the numbers.

Ancient, ancient rituals.