Original subtitles

PROTESTERS [chanting]: Not all right, not okay!

We don't have no teachers' aides! Not all right...

Not to be that guy, but should we really

be doing non-grammatical chants?

Thank you for your input, Scott.

How about this?

Not all right, not okay.

We have a complete lack of teachers' aides.

Thank you.

I'm going inside.

I got to pee.

Ah-ah-ah, no, no, no, no!

You can't pee across the picket line.

If you got to go, go to the gas station up the street.

But you got to buy something, so get me some coffee.

That-that is all the way down on Lake Avenue.

Well, that is wonderful, girl.

Get your steps in!

Not all right, not okay!

We don't have no teachers' aides!

Don't worry, Mr. Schaefer.

Yes, the faculty has been on strike for two days,

but the school is still open.

And I'm happy to report we've got

substitutes for every class.

No, I said "substitutes."

Why would I say we had prostitutes?

We don't have no teacher's aides!

Is she on the phone?

Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

We don't care you're on the phone!

Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

We don't care you're on the phone!

# Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood #

# Welcome to the hood.

Um, Dave?

Dave. David.

Yeah?

Let me explain the science of the leaf blower to you.

You're supposed to blow the leaves off your lawn,

not back all over your lawn.

Yeah, well, I already did that.

But then they were all in a neat pile,

and I was gonna have to go back inside and Gemma

is not a pleasure right now.

And when I told her to calm down, she told me to...

Damn.

Gemma said that?

Yeah. It's bad.

I've never seen her this upset. Usually, when she's mad,

Tina helps her through it, but now

Tina is the reason she's mad.

Yeah, yeah, Tina is upset with Gemma, too.

You know that five-piece china set

that Gemma got us for our anniversary?

Is it now a three-piece china set?

Or a 75-piece china set, depending on how you look at it.

Oh, Dave. I don't know

why you're bothering with that leaf blower.

Your wife blows hot air all day long.

Tina, Tina, come on.

Hey, Dave, can you... Oh.

I'm going back inside.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm going back inside.

Fine, I'll stay and you go inside.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, Gemma, you don't tell me what to do.

Well, then fine, stay out here, backstabber.

Okay, you know what, Gemma? You can kiss my... What?

Rot in hell!

- And your mama! - Oh!

Dave, this is way bigger than leaves.

We might have to relandscape out here.

Maybe put in a pool.

Nope.

What are you doing?

Just getting rid of some books, man.

These all remind me of Janelle.

Oh, come on, big bro.

I know breakups are hard.

But enough already.

You threw out all the Cap'n Crunch.

She loved Cap'n Crunch.

I love Cap'n Crunch.

That's why I bought the Cap'n Crunch.

Look, man, I-I don't get it.

When you two were together, you didn't seem that serious.

Now that she's gone, you can't live without her.

That's how true love works, Marty.

So, what, you're just gonna throw all these books away?

No, man, I'm gonna put 'em in Dave's little library.

Really? The...

Secrets to Pleasing a Black Woman?

Maybe not this one.

Mm. Mm.

Okay.

- Oh, my God, okay, here we go. - What?

Let me guess, Marty-- you got a tickle in your throat,

you went on WebMD and now you think you have scurvy.

No. I eliminated scurvy by eating three oranges.

So, clearly, this is something much worse.

Marty, I brought you some zinc.

Oh, no, stay back. Stay back!

Where are my N-95 masks?

Malcolm!

Oh, let me guess--

they reminded you of Janelle.

She liked to wear the pink ones.

It's just a cold, Marty.

This isn't Game of Thrones. You don't have greyscale.

We're not gonna exile you to the ruins of Valyria

with the other stone men.

You know nothin', Jon Snow.

Oh, you better get used to this, Courtney.

Marty is very bad at being sick.

You know, when he was nine, he had his tonsils out

and he wrote a will.

What did he leave you?

Nothing. He left everything

to the American Tonsil Society.

Which does not exist.

It should.

Well, you'd better rally.

We have our baby safety class tomorrow.

Oh, no, no, no, I-I can't do that.

As sick as I am, I can barely lift up my own head.

Let alone a rubber baby.

Plus,

it'd be irresponsible, exposing all those fetuses

to my pestilence.

It's for mothers and fathers.

I don't want to go there looking like my baby

- doesn't have a father. - Malcolm can go.

You don't know what Malcolm can do.

Do you have plans?

You know I don't.

Okay, so, tomorrow, you the daddy.

Hey, Tina, I was just talking to Dave...

Traitor.

Well, Dave was talking to me.

You know, "Yap, yap, yap, yap."

But then I heard him say

that Gemma realizes that she was wrong.

So, Tina Butler actually said she was wrong?

I couldn't believe it myself.

But that's what Calvin told me.

So, why didn't she tell me herself?

She was afraid of how you would react.

What, to being told I'm right?

Yes, she realizes you were right.

She wants to get together for dinner to work things out.

Okay. Well, I guess the right thing to do

would be to let her apologize.

Well, I guess I could listen to her apology.

Great. You know what,

we'll do it here over dinner.

Okay.

But I'm not cooking.

Of course not.

So, Tina's cooking?

She insisted.

Okay, good.

I'm mad at her, but I'm not mad at her short ribs.

Yeah.

All right.

Here we go.

- Jump in. - This is pad thai.

Better than short ribs, don't you think?

No.

Well, when you're done insulting the food,

maybe there's something you want to say to me?

I want to accept something

after you say something to me.

What kind of apology is this?

Why would I have an apology?

Well, this is healthy.

The word "apology" is being thrown around a lot.

Gemma?

This strike is not going to end until we have teachers' aides.

But you keep ignoring the issue.

I am not ignoring it.

It's just, sometimes tough decisions have to be made.

Calvin, do you hear this craziness?

Crazy.

Yes.

But, in all fairness,

it is tough when you're in charge of the budget.

I have to deal with that all the time at the Fusebox.

Okay, okay. So, at the Fusebox,

do you make your software engineers

run the bake sale?

Well, actually,

it's not like th... DAVE: Well, you know, uh,

Tina does make some reasonable points.

What?!

I'm just saying,

you hire an employee to do a job,

not every job.

Exactly.

I should not be coaching kickball

during my lunch break.

I mean, my high heels keep punching through the Astroturf.

I get that, but

sometimes, when you're in management,

you have to ask your team to go the extra mile

for the good of the business.

Thank you, Calvin.

But any organization's

most valuable resource is the people in the trenches.

Damn it, Dave! Give me some.

Okay...

Dave, the whole point of this

was that you were to agree with me.

No, we just agreed to agree.

I never agreed to agree with you.

I can't believe you're on Tina's side.

That's because Dave has empathy for people.

He doesn't work them till their fingers bleed

like you and Calvin.

Okay. Uh, listen, okay, all right.

Uh, Gemma and I just understand what it is

to be management, all right?

You just have to look at the bigger picture.

Exactly. Calvin and I

are big-picture people.

You hear this, Dave?

I guess we're just little-ass picture people.

I ain't got no time for this!

You know what?

I ain't got no time for this, either.

Solidarity forever.

Well, Calvin, I guess I better go, too.

No, no, no, Gemma, stay.

All right? It's not our fault that some people

don't understand business, all right?

We deserve this satay. Here, here, come on.

Yes. With extra peanut sauce.

That's right, sauce me up.

- Yep. - Calvin, you better

sauce your ass in this room!

You might want to take that - to go. Get on out of here. - Yeah.

Oh, God.

Dave, what are you doing?

Serenading you, because you're mad at me.

It's not working.

Well, so you say,

but you can never resist my "ooh-koo-lay-lay."

Say "ukulele" like everyone else.

That's not how they say it in "Ooh-vah-ee."

I just wish you could understand

how much stress I'm under right now.

Come on, Mom, I don't want to be late for school.

Uh, my new science teacher is awesome.

That's great.

See? Grover loves the substitutes.

Tell your little comrade Tina to strike all she wants.

We're still learning at my school.

It is so cool. I've learned so much about astrology.

- You mean astronomy. - Wh...

No way. Astronomy is pseudoscience.

It completely ignores how the alignment of planets

predicts our future love lives.

You still want me - to talk to Tina? - Don't you dare.

Mommy, chicken soup is not a cure for anything.

It's just salt and fat and little bits of carrots.

And love.

Okay, fine, it-it's got love in it, too, but still,

I'm following the science.

I got a vaporizer, an atomizer, a nebulizer.

You want science, just put some Vicks VapoRub on your feet.

How is that science?

You put the Vicks on your feet,

you put on some socks,

the Vicks sucks all the cold

out of your body, through your feet,

and into the socks.

But, Mommy...

Marty, please, stop wasting my time.

I've already been fighting my best friend.

I am not about to fight you.

I just don't want to get my baby sick.

The baby is gonna make you sick.

What?

Oh, okay, Marty.

The baby's gonna bring every germ

in the world into your house.

When the baby comes home from day care, coughing,

it's gonna have snot caked all over

its little face, and then... Oh!

...sneeze right into your mouth.

No.

Yes.

And you're gonna have to take care of the kid.

So you better get used to being sick all the damn time.

So. Put your big boy pants on, put your Vapo-socks on

and get ready to power through it, daddy.

Okay. Okay, all right, I can do this.

Yes, you can. You sure can.

But you know what, when I heard

my little baby boy was sick,

I dropped everything, ran home and started cooking.

Now open your mouth

and put some soup in it.

Connor, Graycen, nice to have you, welcome.

Next.

I'm Jordan. This is my husband Jay.

And we're at, oh, my God, 32 weeks.

Well, okay, you're getting close. Next.

- Hi, I'm Courtney. - I'm Malcolm.

And how far along are you two?

Oh, no, we are not a two.

Okay, so you're not married,

but you're gonna be an involved dad?

Oh, no, I am not involved at all.

In fact, I'm not involved with, uh, with anyone.

He's my baby's father's brother.

Same DNA, no smashing.

You know, I was involved, uh, with someone,

until very, very recently,

but, uh, yeah, I... I threw that all away.

Like a fool.

Aw, don't beat yourself up.

Yeah, it was all my fault.

But-but I'm trying, you know.

I'm trying to make myself a, uh, a better man.

And I'm trying to keep my baby alive.

So, can we get back to that part?

Yes. Right. Okay, uh, everybody,

pick up your babies and let's practice cradling them.

Yeah. Let's...

Uncle Malcolm,

you don't pick them up by the leg.

Can we get another baby?

Or some duct tape?

Hey, Calvin. Tina's still mad, I see.

Eh. How'd you know?

You always work on your truck when she's mad.

Like on her birthday, when you got her NFL Sunday Ticket.

Yeah, I worked on this truck for a month after that one.

You know, I like being back under the hood, though.

It's my happy place.

Aah! Come on, you stupid cord.

Yeah, I know how you feel.

I had to teach six classes today.

I haven't taught a class since we moved here.

The kids were screaming and talking back

and they have no attention span at all.

Kind of forgot how hard teaching is.

Yeah, that's what Tina says.

But I also forgot how much I love it.

She says that, too.

She does?

Yeah.

Of course she does.

How did I let it get this far?

I don't know. You guys have a very stressful job.

'Cause, personally,

I don't like other people's kids.

What about Grover?

I'm talking about other people that's not on this block.

Now it's so clear to me.

I was falling in love.

But that scared me so badly

that I pushed her away.

And now, everywhere I go,

everything I do-- it haunts me.

The thought of what could have been.

Oh...

Oh, brother.

You have to forgive yourself.

You know, I'm trying, Lorraine.

But I got a long way to go.

You'll get there.

I know you will.

Thank you.

The syllabus said we would

get to CPR by now, so...

You're a good guy, Malcolm.

And, trust me, someday,

a great woman is going to see all of that.

I mean, who knows, maybe

she knows everything about babies

but doesn't have any herself.

Yet.

I hope she's out there.

She's closer than you can imagine.

I'm just saying, because

we only have 20 minutes left

and I think you skipped over a lot of stuff.

This isn't about you.

Hi, Tina.

Gemma.

I have something I need to say to you.

I'm not happy about the strike, but believe me,

I understand that teaching is hard

and I hate that I somehow became

a pencil-necked bureaucrat.

- Did you say you understand? - Yes.

I guess I just lost sight of what's really imp...

I love you, too.

This is so dumb! - You're my best friend! - This is crazy! I'm sorry!

- I love you! - I missed you so much!

I'm gonna make this right.

I am gonna get the teachers the support they deserve.

A-And that means taking a stand with the board of trustees.

And I may get fired...

Uh, what?!

I wish they would. Let them try to fire you.

You thought that strike was bad?

We'll burn that place to the ground.

Okay. Okay, easy now.

That strike has really got you worked up.

But I'm glad to know you have my back.

Always.

Now...

- You want to get drunk? - Yes, please.

Look at you-- up and around.

Yup. I'm a new man.

I smell Vicks.

Did Mama do your feet?

Yeah.

My chest, too.

But she also gave me some tough love,

like being a parent is a 24 hour a day job.

I-I won't be able to handle it if I act like a baby,

so that might be my last chest rub.

No, it's time.

It's been time for 20 years.

You guys, Calvin killed it at the ring toss booth.

I told you, it's all in the wrist.

And now I'm bringing home the gold.

Dad, what are you gonna do with that goldfish?

I don't know.

Just don't feel right throwing it in the trash.

Sorry, buddy,

- you are stuck with that thing. - Yeah.

- Oh, here you go, Grover. - Oh.

Thanks, Mr. Calvin. Uh, Dad, we need a fish tank.

- Yeah, we do. - Yup.

Oh, so how'd the teacher strike get settled?

Oh, well, once Gemma and the teachers were on the same side,

board didn't stand a chance.

Yeah, my girl Gemma gave us everything we wanted.

Hell, I'm just glad all of the teachers

are cool with Gemma again.

- Eh. - Eh.

Ooh, I'm scared.

Is that all you got, Ryan?

Come on, nobody in a bow tie can take me down.

You're mean.

That's what I'm talking about.

Hope you can swim, blondie.

Ooh, ooh!

Ooh!

Oh.

Come on. Is there nobody here who can take down the principal?

- All right, come on. - Oh, Tina?

Please. Don't bring that weak sauce to my tank.

Okay.

Oh, no.

Bye, neighbor.

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