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1
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Mama!
2
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What? You can't just knock and walk in
like that, your mama.
3
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:37,450
I saw everything when you were a baby.
4
00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:38,710
I'm not a baby anymore.
5
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:41,930
Wow.
6
00:00:43,870 --> 00:00:44,870
It's not for you, mama.
7
00:00:45,070 --> 00:00:46,070
Who is it for?
8
00:00:46,190 --> 00:00:47,490
None of your business, okay, mama?
9
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None of my business?
10
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,150
Come here.
11
00:00:51,390 --> 00:00:52,390
Come here, habibi.
12
00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:55,610
Can you please move this stuff out?
Because I don't need you walking in your
13
00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:58,530
room. It's so much bigger than mine. Can
you please just...
14
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,120
Oh, my God.
15
00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:03,820
Crystal's playtime is scheduled in here
today from 1 to 2. I just want to remind
16
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:04,819
you about that. Great.
17
00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:08,520
Great. Make sure you feed her. Okay,
I'll feed her. Mama, I'll feed her. Can
18
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,780
just call us? Please, inshallah.
19
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,240
Why you open account in bank, man? It's
a pyramid scheme. You don't know? Bro,
20
00:01:37,260 --> 00:01:38,640
this is not a bank. It's a credit union.
21
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:43,900
Union. That's even worse, bro. You know
union is a cartel. They set the wage
22
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:44,900
instead of the price.
23
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,100
Same thing, bro.
24
00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:48,260
How's it working with your family? It's
a dream come true.
25
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:49,840
I can't believe it's a reality.
26
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:51,480
Seriously.
27
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,500
At home, it's a nightmare.
28
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,780
I don't have any privacy.
29
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,580
No, you got a curtain in your room
overlooking your living room like you're
30
00:01:57,580 --> 00:01:58,580
about to do a puppet show.
31
00:01:59,929 --> 00:02:01,550
I'm Moe. I need a loan.
32
00:02:01,790 --> 00:02:03,590
I don't have a girl. I'm a refugee.
33
00:02:05,410 --> 00:02:06,490
You've never had privacy.
34
00:02:06,890 --> 00:02:07,890
I get it.
35
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,729
We're in America. 18 years old. Move out
of the house.
36
00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:13,130
What happened to family? Being close
together?
37
00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:14,069
You're right.
38
00:02:14,070 --> 00:02:15,950
Maybe we're close enough. I got to move
out.
39
00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:18,510
Guys, I will take a refugee in. No
problem.
40
00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:20,430
No, thank you. Okay, all due respect.
41
00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:25,190
I got you, bro. I made assistance of
your life. I know it is good for you.
42
00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:27,730
come stay now with me and Dallas in our
home.
43
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,040
I have a private guest room,
electricity, everything.
44
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,660
And there is a big private bathroom.
45
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,760
It's so big, bro, so clean.
46
00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:38,920
You can sit all day until you find a
house, you know?
47
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,760
Very good. I find your whole life to be
problematic, but a ensuite bathroom is
48
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:43,800
really appealing at this point.
49
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:48,780
Plus, Austin, Dallas' sister, she lives
next door. Okay. She's not as beautiful
50
00:02:48,780 --> 00:02:50,120
as my Dallas.
51
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,520
She's not as tender as Dallas.
52
00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:55,270
But she's ready for marriage.
53
00:02:55,590 --> 00:02:58,070
Okay. All right. Now you're stepping
into a whole new zone.
54
00:02:58,270 --> 00:03:00,590
What, do you have a dating app now?
You're doing arranged marriages?
55
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:04,010
I don't want my mom doing it, much less
you, Hamid. If you get married to
56
00:03:04,010 --> 00:03:07,990
Austin, all your legal trouble, boo, go
away.
57
00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:10,030
Nigga, it's boom, not boo.
58
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:15,370
Boo, bee, bah. Who gives shit, bro? I
showed her his picture. She like.
59
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:20,160
She was intrigued, bro. If you come,
maybe you meet, maybe there is
60
00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:23,460
Marriage, bismillah, you know? What's
the fine print?
61
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,360
She sounds desperate. You are desperate.
62
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:30,940
I swear, I feel like the only thing you
should do is meet her.
63
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:35,540
You should at least meet her. Get your
life together, just like me. Even though
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00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:39,480
I'm raising somebody else's baby, and
we're pregnant together, and we moved
65
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,560
and we're not married.
66
00:03:41,899 --> 00:03:46,520
You don't get to talk because my life is
better than yours because I found
67
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,600
Blondie. Why don't you mind your own
fucking business?
68
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:54,580
No. If you get caught anywhere doing
anything, I just can do whatever the
69
00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:59,600
they want with you. Exactly, bro. So in
this specific instance, I'm siding with
70
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,600
Hamid.
71
00:04:05,020 --> 00:04:06,020
It's not criminal.
72
00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:08,020
It is.
73
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:10,460
It's not violent.
74
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,320
Now it's done, Mo. Let's go. Come on.
75
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,640
You can do this.
76
00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:30,100
I mean, it got stuck on my finger. Hey,
don't make excuses, Uncle Mo. I'm not
77
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,420
making excuses. What if I just threw you
down there? Yeah.
78
00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:35,780
All right, all right, all right. Yeah.
79
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,740
All right, let's see what you got. Show
them how to do it, Sama.
80
00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:39,140
Show Uncle Mo what you can do.
81
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:43,340
Oh! Look at that, right there.
82
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,580
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
83
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,320
Wow, that's actually really good.
84
00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:51,030
That's really solid.
85
00:04:51,210 --> 00:04:53,750
What are you looking at?
86
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:58,250
The settlers attacked people's homes in
Ramallah again.
87
00:04:58,470 --> 00:05:03,390
And when the IDF came, they killed a 17
-year -old Palestinian boy.
88
00:05:03,910 --> 00:05:04,910
I saw that.
89
00:05:06,630 --> 00:05:07,630
It's horrible.
90
00:05:07,810 --> 00:05:11,050
Oh, wait, Mo. Stay right there. I got
you something. What? I was at the
91
00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:15,310
Park last week, and I saw this shirt in
the window, and it screamed your name.
92
00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:16,229
I'm serious.
93
00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:17,230
Look at this.
94
00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:18,690
Huh?
95
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,260
That's... that's... Perfect.
96
00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:25,840
Yes, okay, Bob. It's not perfect. This
is a you shirt. This is not a me shirt.
97
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:26,759
No way.
98
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,000
It's like the mascot just shat this out.
This is unbelievable.
99
00:05:29,340 --> 00:05:32,980
No, this is you in fabric form. I mean,
it's fun, it's loud, it's got... No, no,
100
00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:33,959
it's nice.
101
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,760
I'm sorry. It's nice. Thank you. Thank
you,
102
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:38,700
Bob.
103
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:40,960
You know what's not horrible?
104
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,420
We're all here together.
105
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,020
Yes.
106
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,820
Come on, we're going to have fun,
whether you like it or not. No, no, no.
107
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:56,419
You're going to go.
108
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:59,760
Come on. No, no, no. Don't even worry
about the boat. Just grab it.
109
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,140
Yeah, that's the right move. Yeah, right
here.
110
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,520
No! No,
111
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:05,920
just go like this. Like this?
112
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:07,140
Yes.
113
00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:09,980
One, two, three.
114
00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:11,119
Let's go.
115
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,220
All right, look at that.
116
00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:13,860
Oh, my God.
117
00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:33,470
I don't know. He was just bowling. Have
you seen him? No. Probably just playing
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00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:34,470
games or something.
119
00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:35,690
Osama!
120
00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:36,850
Osama!
121
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:42,430
Osama! He's right there.
122
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,470
Dude, why were you screaming?
123
00:06:44,850 --> 00:06:45,850
Come on, let's play some games.
124
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:46,990
Yeah.
125
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,470
Who ordered a pizza pie?
126
00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:52,470
There we go.
127
00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:58,350
Have you ever thought about taking Samir
to see a therapist?
128
00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:00,350
What for?
129
00:07:01,010 --> 00:07:03,450
To improve his social skills, his
quality of life.
130
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:06,390
What's wrong with his life?
131
00:07:10,170 --> 00:07:12,510
Okay, you know how Osama was having this
outburst?
132
00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:16,310
We took him to see a therapist, and it
turns out he has a form of level one
133
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,310
autism.
134
00:07:17,610 --> 00:07:18,830
Why are you rolling your eyes?
135
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,320
Your boy has a tantrum.
136
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,100
Suddenly it's a disorder.
137
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,320
I mean, like, everything is kind of a
disorder now.
138
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:27,900
No. You miss the sun in the winter?
139
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:32,300
It's a disorder. Yeah, well, I do get
blue during the wintertime if I'm
140
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,279
my truth.
141
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,700
Because it gets dark so early.
142
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,720
It's very brave of you to share. Thank
you. What's going on with the napkin
143
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,920
there? I'll just fall off.
144
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,800
Okay, seriously, therapy is actually
helping him. I see it in his impulse
145
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:43,779
control, right?
146
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,660
I mean, what if... Nadia.
147
00:07:46,450 --> 00:07:47,409
Don't start.
148
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:49,390
Osama is your child. Sameer is mine.
149
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:51,370
What about what the doctor said?
150
00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,150
Remember when he was a kid?
151
00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:54,550
What doctor?
152
00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:59,290
Mom and dad took Sameer to see a doctor
after we moved to Houston, and the
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00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,390
doctor said Sameer might have a form of
autism.
154
00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:02,990
What does it matter?
155
00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:06,630
He's happy. He's living his wonderful
life.
156
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,069
Masha 'Allah.
157
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,070
Yes. No.
158
00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:13,630
But also, what she said is, you know,
good point. I mean, maybe the...
159
00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:17,500
Not a bad idea. I mean, let him go to
therapy and he doesn't get overwhelmed.
160
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,760
Exactly. And we all see it. So why are
we pretending?
161
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,780
I'm pretending. I don't think he's
pretending.
162
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:25,280
I'm just saying I think he should go see
a therapist.
163
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,579
No.
164
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:33,360
Samir needs love and care and support.
Of course. And all that, alhamdulillah,
165
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,099
he has.
166
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,299
So Samir does not have a disorder.
167
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:37,880
What disorder?
168
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:42,960
Disorder of fries.
169
00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:45,200
Can you get it for me? Can you check on
it?
170
00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:46,860
Okay. Thank you, Hamid.
171
00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:51,920
Did Mama tell you that I'm moving in
with Hamid?
172
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,800
Try that out for a little bit. Great.
173
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,240
Thanks. And you're not upset about that?
174
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,360
No, I am.
175
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,240
I'm in therapy for it.
176
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,280
Best night in my life.
177
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:14,600
I don't remember you having a sword.
178
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,820
Yeah, I didn't have a sword. I got an
extra artist to add it to the picture,
179
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,100
know? He looks hot with that sword,
doesn't he?
180
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:23,040
Handsome. So handsome.
181
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:28,240
Never mind. Come, bro. Check my DVD
collection. I got over 50 movies, okay?
182
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,560
the Rambo, all the Rocky movies, Creed
I, Creed II. No Creed III?
183
00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:35,810
Now, baby, no Stallone, no Hamid. Come,
check this out. This is my ottoman, huh?
184
00:09:35,970 --> 00:09:39,550
Okay, this is real cow leather, shipped
from Arizona via the oops.
185
00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:41,070
He means UPS.
186
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:42,930
Hey, come, check this clock, huh?
187
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,570
Hey, you like this Glock? Fuck you, man!
188
00:09:45,870 --> 00:09:50,850
It is a Glock inside a Glock. What the
fuck, Hamid? I look at these people,
189
00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:55,450
and nobody is actually ready for when
the shit hits the fan and goes down.
190
00:09:55,650 --> 00:09:59,010
But not me, not Hamid. Hey, you know
what? Look.
191
00:09:59,230 --> 00:10:02,410
Oh, say, can't you see? No, you cannot
see anything.
192
00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:03,690
You are dead.
193
00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:05,530
You want to travel? You want to go
somewhere?
194
00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:07,330
Ha! You go to hell, baby!
195
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:12,330
Look, this, this is not real. Just to
scare them, you know? Achoo, bless you,
196
00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:13,089
you want tissue?
197
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,490
No, you die, baby.
198
00:10:15,510 --> 00:10:18,210
50 % of my budget goes on safety.
199
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:21,190
Poor and alive, better than rich and
dead.
200
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:25,190
Why so many, Hamid? Because you never
know where they come from, bro. Who is
201
00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:29,790
they? Who's they? They are anybody,
everybody, bro. You can be chilling in
202
00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:30,990
living room, laughing,
203
00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:34,830
having fun. They come in, you are ready,
you have a gun.
204
00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:38,610
Hey, maybe you're taking a shit in the
bathroom.
205
00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:40,930
Yeah, thinking, why did I eat that
yesterday?
206
00:10:41,270 --> 00:10:46,270
Then, ah, they come in, you're ready.
You take a gun, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow,
207
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,310
pow. You shoot, you know. It's like
that, bro.
208
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:53,050
Hey, I got a gun in each room in this
house. Hey, safety is a top priority in
209
00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:53,969
our house.
210
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:54,970
Clearly.
211
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,960
Bro, she gets me. I love you. I love
you, too.
212
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,340
I'm glad she does, but I don't know what
planet you're on. I mean, the arsenal
213
00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:03,480
you have here, you could take over
Guatemala.
214
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,360
Listen, I appreciate the tour, but I am
exhausted.
215
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,520
Can I sit down now? No, no, wait. You
gotta sit down. You have to see your
216
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:11,620
bro. You have a suite.
217
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:13,460
You have a private bathroom.
218
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:14,699
Now you're talking.
219
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:15,479
Here we go.
220
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:16,480
Your retreat.
221
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,620
A home away from home.
222
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:23,280
Hi. Oh, I'll take that.
223
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:24,960
Sleep well, Muhammad.
224
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,300
Oh, thank you.
225
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,920
So sweet. You have a lovely home.
226
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,380
Appreciate the hospitality.
227
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:31,960
Thank you, baby. What the fuck is this?
228
00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:34,300
I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but
this is out of control.
229
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:37,080
Why are all these dolls here? Who is
this lady?
230
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,300
This is the mother of Dallas, and she
died in this bed, bro.
231
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,060
We keep it the same since she go, but
the sheet is clean.
232
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:49,660
This is not important, all of this
stuff, bro. What is important that
233
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:54,310
you're going to come with me to the
barbecue contest and... You will ask
234
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:55,310
on a date.
235
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:56,790
Not okay.
236
00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,430
You need to let this go. Forget about
the Austin stuff.
237
00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:00,710
Austin stuff?
238
00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:05,410
This is not stuff, bro. I know what is
good for you. Believe me, man. Austin is
239
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,710
perfect bride for you.
240
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:07,950
Show me a picture.
241
00:12:08,090 --> 00:12:09,230
You should love the heart.
242
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,790
The look fades away.
243
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:14,410
Listen, bro, okay? You are broke.
244
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:17,030
You don't have money. You don't have
job.
245
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,750
You're a fucking refugee.
246
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,190
And your life is shit.
247
00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:24,170
I should slap you with this pipe in your
face, bro.
248
00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:26,070
I mean, no disrespect, okay?
249
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:31,130
Listen, bro, you will marry Austin, you
will become my brother, and we will
250
00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:32,790
become big family, okay?
251
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:34,090
Put your shit down.
252
00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:54,610
What are you doing?
253
00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:56,630
They are here.
254
00:12:57,030 --> 00:12:58,290
Get ready.
255
00:12:58,550 --> 00:12:59,209
Who's they?
256
00:12:59,210 --> 00:12:59,929
Let's go.
257
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:02,090
Who's they mean? They are here. For
coverage.
258
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:03,430
Shoot, buddy.
259
00:13:44,959 --> 00:13:45,959
Where's the key?
260
00:13:47,380 --> 00:13:48,480
Where's the key?
261
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:01,730
You like the hummus, kiddo?
262
00:14:04,090 --> 00:14:05,090
There, there.
263
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:06,670
You're all right now.
264
00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:08,210
Everything is okay.
265
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,150
Still a dream.
266
00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:14,990
I didn't mean to scare you. I just, I
saw you tossing and turning like you
267
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:20,090
having a bad dream, and I, I
overstepped, didn't I? I am so sorry.
268
00:14:20,430 --> 00:14:21,590
I was having a bad dream.
269
00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:22,930
Oh, you poor thing.
270
00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:24,470
Do you want to talk about it?
271
00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:26,810
Sorry, who are you?
272
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:28,110
I'm Austin.
273
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:29,950
Sure, Austin.
274
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:33,530
I was just bringing you a little
breakfast in bed.
275
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:36,250
You know, start your day off right.
276
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,470
Don't worry, it is chicken sausage. We
don't eat pork either.
277
00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:43,430
Wow. Dang it, it's too much, isn't it?
278
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:47,150
Oh, I don't know. It's like a Golden
Corral buffet.
279
00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,870
You know, you have to go back and forth.
This is all here.
280
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:51,570
I just...
281
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:54,480
I have this thing where I get an idea in
my head and then I commit.
282
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:55,700
Full throttle.
283
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:58,080
And it's just my nature to nurture.
284
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:03,140
Like, if you went down to my core and
you extracted my essence, it would be
285
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:04,140
care and compassion.
286
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:06,800
Oh, Dickens!
287
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:12,100
How is it?
288
00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:14,460
It's fantastic.
289
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,320
I could do this every day if you wanted.
290
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:19,700
Breakfast?
291
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:20,900
I'm sorry.
292
00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:23,530
That was extra again.
293
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,850
I am really botching this thing, ain't
I?
294
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:32,090
I know. This is the sweetest thing
anyone's done for me, and gosh, I can't
295
00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:33,150
remember. Thank you.
296
00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:34,530
Is there maple in this?
297
00:15:35,090 --> 00:15:37,090
Yes. You have a good palate.
298
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,210
I watch Food Network. Love it. Can't get
enough of it.
299
00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:42,390
Chopped. My favorite. Me too.
300
00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:43,670
Yeah.
301
00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:46,770
Oh, money.
302
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:49,950
What did Hamid tell you about me?
303
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:51,949
basics, really.
304
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:55,350
You know, about you being deported and
having that ankle bracelet and all that.
305
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:58,210
Boy, he really knows how to tell me,
doesn't he?
306
00:15:59,850 --> 00:16:05,050
And he also said that you were loyal,
have good values, love your family,
307
00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:05,969
a hard worker.
308
00:16:05,970 --> 00:16:06,970
That's more like it.
309
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:08,090
That's definitely me.
310
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:13,010
I'm going to beat you. Oh, that was way
off.
311
00:16:13,210 --> 00:16:16,010
Would you say you're a go -with -your
-gut kind of guy?
312
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,310
Yeah, I follow my instincts.
313
00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:19,030
Most of the time it serves me well.
314
00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:20,750
Sometimes I get an ankle bracelet.
315
00:16:21,710 --> 00:16:22,710
You've been deported.
316
00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:27,710
Well, then we have that in common.
Because whenever I go with my gut hand
317
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:29,490
God, I always get it right.
318
00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:34,190
Yeah. And I just have this feeling that
you and I, I don't know how to say it.
319
00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:35,209
Say it.
320
00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:36,210
Say it.
321
00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:39,090
Don't be scared. Just say it. It's so
nuts. I get so excited.
322
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:45,230
How much coffee have you had today?
323
00:16:45,570 --> 00:16:47,010
A caffeine free for a unit.
324
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,440
Really? No other substances?
325
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:51,720
No, no drugs or alcohol. I don't need
that.
326
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:54,360
I'm going to do some cocaine just to
keep up with you.
327
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,460
Don't you ever sniff the devil's powder.
328
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,580
Oh, no. I'm not doing the devil's
powder.
329
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,920
You have a great smile.
330
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:07,440
Yeah? Yeah. You have great boots, too.
Oh, thank you.
331
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:09,180
It's your turn.
332
00:17:12,819 --> 00:17:13,819
Hey,
333
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:15,140
you like barbecue?
334
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:19,180
What? You want to take me to the World
Championship barbecue contest?
335
00:17:19,819 --> 00:17:22,640
Depends. Can you two -step? Oh, you tell
me. You can two -step.
336
00:17:22,859 --> 00:17:24,200
Of course. What kind of technique can't
two -step?
337
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:27,180
Okay. I'll twirl you. You won't twirl
me? Be careful.
338
00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:29,160
I'll twirl you. Oh, you didn't. Come on.
Come on.
339
00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:54,230
No,
340
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:11,730
no, no. I said raw sugar for the rub.
Raw sugar. Brown sugar burns. That's why
341
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:12,770
the bark's all fucked up.
342
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,960
Come on, man. I got it. Take care of it,
sir.
343
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,080
I think it's great.
344
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:19,380
This is fantastic.
345
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:20,840
I can't tell the difference.
346
00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:23,080
Thanks, babe, but the judges can,
though.
347
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,760
Put a little more olive oil on the
chicken, please.
348
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:28,260
Does your family care that I'm a
Catholic?
349
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,240
They're as atheist as they come.
350
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:34,080
Why? Is yours giving you shit for dating
a Jewish guy, huh?
351
00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:38,240
No. No, my mom is gone, and my dad is
another story.
352
00:18:38,890 --> 00:18:42,170
And my tias are in Mexico. My tia Luisa,
she shits on everybody, so who cares?
353
00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:46,290
I think if I had kids and they weren't
Jewish, they'd have a problem with that,
354
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:48,310
yeah. But I thought you said you were an
atheist.
355
00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:49,750
No, my family's atheist.
356
00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:53,590
I'm agnostic. I don't know what the
fuck's going on. But yeah, like
357
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:58,470
Muslims, Hindus, they all have like over
a billion plus on their team.
358
00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:01,810
Us Jews, we have like 16 million on our
squad, tops.
359
00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:04,410
So when you have kids, you're going to
raise them Jewish?
360
00:19:04,670 --> 00:19:05,830
God, no, I'm never having kids.
361
00:19:06,050 --> 00:19:08,030
I got my hands full with these kids as
it is.
362
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,340
Remember what I told you? Up top for
even distribution.
363
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,320
Look, I definitely want to have my own
kids. I just don't want to be what my
364
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,520
friend Nick's doing. He's raising
someone else's child, and there's
365
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:22,580
wrong with that. God bless him. God love
him. I support him. I'm really afraid
366
00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:25,500
of being a stepdad. You know, I guess
you could say I'm more traditional.
367
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,180
Oh, me too. Oh, I love traditional.
368
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:33,220
Like, I see myself on a ranch with a
pond, kids playing with the ducks and
369
00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:36,840
goats, and me just taking care of my
man, you know, cooking his meal.
370
00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:38,230
Ironing his shirt?
371
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:39,410
I'm in.
372
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:43,470
I mean, just judging by the breakfast, I
mean, you'd be great at it. You think
373
00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:44,950
so? Yeah, absolutely.
374
00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:48,050
Barbara was so right about you.
375
00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:49,470
Yeah? What'd she say?
376
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:54,570
She said, I would need a man from the
East with a shortened name who was
377
00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:55,569
marriage material.
378
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,770
And here you are.
379
00:19:56,990 --> 00:20:00,130
I knew it, too. Oh, from the moment Hami
showed me your photo?
380
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:01,449
I knew.
381
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,450
Wait, who's Barbara?
382
00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:03,810
My psychic medium.
383
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,530
You have a psychic?
384
00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:09,720
Say, I have someone special I'd like you
to meet.
385
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,300
Well, hello, Princess.
386
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,900
This here is my daddy, Ron.
387
00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:16,580
Well, Mo, it's a real pleasure to meet
you, my friend.
388
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:17,880
Hey, Dad.
389
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:20,440
Yeah. It's so nice to meet you. Oh,
yeah, why not?
390
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:22,640
Why not? It's so soon.
391
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:26,980
Well, what do you do? Okay, what are you
working on? I used to be a pork rib
392
00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:31,280
guy. Yeah. Until I joined House of the
Old Mead there. Oh. Now I just cook one
393
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,200
hell of a brisket, and I couldn't be
happier than a hog in Arabia.
394
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:36,620
Get in a hog in Arabia.
395
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,720
He's happy because they don't eat hogs
over there. I get it. I get it. Come on.
396
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,300
Stay with me now. I'm trying. I'm trying
to keep up with you.
397
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:47,140
Allah gave us Texas barbecue and you,
Hamid, huh? Well, you ain't lying there
398
00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:48,140
because I'm going to tell you something.
399
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,220
After Rush Limbaugh died, I didn't know
what I was going to do.
400
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:56,100
Then old Hamid there turned me on to Al
Jazeera. I learned we wasted trillions
401
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,140
of dollars on that war on terror
bullshit.
402
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,420
Well, I'm awake now.
403
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,169
Not woke.
404
00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:03,250
That's that Hollywood bullshit.
405
00:21:03,990 --> 00:21:05,710
Whoa. That ain't even good English.
406
00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:09,350
It's too good to be true.
407
00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:11,410
50 -50, you're FBI.
408
00:21:11,850 --> 00:21:14,750
I got you. You're under arrest. Oh, you
got me. A long one.
409
00:21:15,710 --> 00:21:18,830
Let's steal him from you, Daddy. All
right, baby girl. Y 'all have fun. Nice
410
00:21:18,830 --> 00:21:19,930
meeting you. Nice meeting you, too.
411
00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:22,710
Oh, pretty good.
412
00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:26,830
Brisket looked delicious. Yeah. The meat
is better than I thought it was.
413
00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:29,850
So, what did you think of my daddy?
414
00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:32,670
Actually... I think we get along.
415
00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:33,970
Yeah? Yeah.
416
00:21:34,690 --> 00:21:37,870
Ooh, your cologne smells like tobacco.
417
00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:40,890
It's a combination of different beard
oils.
418
00:21:41,230 --> 00:21:42,230
Oh, is it?
419
00:21:42,630 --> 00:21:43,630
Yep.
420
00:21:47,710 --> 00:21:48,710
Hey, baby.
421
00:21:48,730 --> 00:21:50,110
How we doing? We doing good? Yep.
422
00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:51,430
Sorry.
423
00:21:53,190 --> 00:21:54,890
My ex -girlfriend's over there.
424
00:22:00,430 --> 00:22:01,430
Okay, hi then.
425
00:22:02,550 --> 00:22:06,110
What was that thing I told you this
morning? Maria?
426
00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:08,870
Is that you? What are you doing here?
427
00:22:09,570 --> 00:22:12,390
I'd like you to meet Austin. This is...
His girlfriend.
428
00:22:12,930 --> 00:22:14,270
Oh, girlfriend.
429
00:22:14,690 --> 00:22:15,690
Yeah.
430
00:22:16,010 --> 00:22:19,610
How long have you known each other?
Well, when two souls meet on a celestial
431
00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:21,730
level, I mean, Earth time is irrelevant.
432
00:22:22,190 --> 00:22:24,750
Oh, honey, that was so poetic.
433
00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:28,870
Hi, I'm Guy. I'm Maria's... Boyfriend.
434
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,700
As we have spent actual Earth time
together getting to know each other,
435
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:34,700
we? That's right, babe.
436
00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:38,320
Can I get that lighter back now?
437
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,080
Yeah, I'd be happy to give it back to
you as soon as you give us our land
438
00:22:41,180 --> 00:22:42,320
That was funny.
439
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,140
Oh, yeah, my family and I have been
laughing at it for 80 years.
440
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,660
Oh, that looks a little dry now.
441
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,800
Actually, it's cooked perfectly.
442
00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:51,099
You want to try some?
443
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,100
Okay.
444
00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:57,040
I never thought you'd go for a blonde.
445
00:22:57,340 --> 00:22:58,340
She's blonde?
446
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:00,530
I didn't even notice.
447
00:23:00,710 --> 00:23:04,330
It's so crazy because I'm focused on
what's on the inside.
448
00:23:04,670 --> 00:23:05,589
Look, Spain.
449
00:23:05,590 --> 00:23:06,970
Yeah, I can see that.
450
00:23:07,230 --> 00:23:08,350
I wasn't talking about you.
451
00:23:08,630 --> 00:23:09,650
I'm talking about you.
452
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:10,609
I'm sorry.
453
00:23:10,610 --> 00:23:12,730
Oh, is that citrus?
454
00:23:12,970 --> 00:23:13,729
I'm tasting.
455
00:23:13,730 --> 00:23:17,490
Actually, that's shichimi togarashi. It
gives a little hint of umami.
456
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:18,930
That's just un -American.
457
00:23:19,230 --> 00:23:20,550
You just steal from everybody.
458
00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:24,330
Good poets write, great poets steal.
Okay, I make it my own. I can hear you
459
00:23:24,330 --> 00:23:28,450
beeping. cook. No, actually, you're the
cook. I'm a chef taco boy. Let me tell
460
00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:31,110
you something. My falafel tacos are
world class. Are they really? That's all
461
00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:32,750
talk about. Oh, yeah. I know how to mix
cultures.
462
00:23:33,070 --> 00:23:35,610
You're not mixing cultures. You're
fucking deleting the whole goddamn
463
00:23:35,610 --> 00:23:37,970
That's the whole fucking point. That hat
looks weird on you. Yeah, no, it
464
00:23:37,970 --> 00:23:40,190
doesn't. It looks fucking awful. Did you
pick that out for me?
465
00:23:40,430 --> 00:23:42,850
Cowboys are us? You do not insult his
hat.
466
00:23:43,110 --> 00:23:44,910
Exactly. All right. Exactly. What'd you
say, honey?
467
00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:46,610
You've been chopped.
468
00:23:46,830 --> 00:23:50,130
Yeah. Well played. Well played. I think
it's time for you guys to go.
469
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,220
Hey, what the fuck? Seriously, do I need
to deal with this? I'm trying to win
470
00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:55,040
the... Does he know I know... I'm so
sorry.
471
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,760
Does he know I know Krav Maga?
472
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:03,200
I'm fucking... The champion in the
whiskey category is... That is
473
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,040
bullshit, bro.
474
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,620
They never let the white man win
anymore.
475
00:24:08,060 --> 00:24:12,640
All right, no long face. We may not have
won, but this is the best damn barbecue
476
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,100
team I've ever been a part of. Here's
the family.
477
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,360
The family.
478
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,820
And no more chicken.
479
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,540
Nixian knows me. Maybe Nixian will make
a few thoughts.
480
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:36,940
Sure you don't want to hop a saddle?
He's gentle.
481
00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:42,820
No, no, maybe if I were still a young
girl. But these days, I'm too old.
482
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,280
Oh, if you're old, what the hell am I?
483
00:24:45,620 --> 00:24:46,720
Young. That's hard.
484
00:24:46,980 --> 00:24:48,700
Is that what you tell people that's old?
485
00:24:50,330 --> 00:24:52,130
Hey, I've been talking to fuzzy boots.
486
00:24:52,350 --> 00:24:54,350
Well, more like singing.
487
00:24:54,550 --> 00:24:55,550
You're a singer?
488
00:24:55,810 --> 00:24:58,810
No. I want to hear. No. Please, please,
please, please. No.
489
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:03,050
My bonnie lies over the ocean.
490
00:25:03,450 --> 00:25:05,650
My bonnie lies over the sea.
491
00:25:06,030 --> 00:25:08,510
My bonnie lies over the ocean.
492
00:25:08,870 --> 00:25:15,130
Oh, bring back my bonnie to me. Please,
what was again? Oh, bring back my bonnie
493
00:25:15,130 --> 00:25:16,130
to me.
494
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:21,570
That's really beautiful. But who's
Bonnie? Oh, that's just an old name in
495
00:25:21,570 --> 00:25:26,850
song. Well, you have a very nice voice,
buddy. Thank you. It's okay.
496
00:25:27,310 --> 00:25:31,450
My Patty now. She had the voice of an
angel.
497
00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:34,510
Mustafa sang, too. At least he tried.
498
00:25:34,810 --> 00:25:39,190
It used to annoy me, but now I miss it a
lot.
499
00:25:41,490 --> 00:25:43,470
Are you okay, buddy?
500
00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:47,599
Yes, sir.
501
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:54,500
I don't know how to tell you this, but,
well, I'm selling the farm.
502
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:59,680
It wasn't for sale or nothing. I got an
offer that I just couldn't pass up.
503
00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:03,720
But what about our olive oil?
504
00:26:04,580 --> 00:26:08,160
It'll be up to the new owners. I'm so
sorry, yes, sir. I know how much it
505
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,840
to you and the family. I'm so sorry.
506
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:38,640
Are you kidding me?
507
00:26:43,660 --> 00:26:48,020
The thing is, is that... What?
508
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,240
What?
509
00:26:53,100 --> 00:26:55,160
Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!
37671
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