Original subtitles

Morning, Kate Shepard. I hope you all remember the gold coin for the after

school ice block fundraiser.

It'll be pretty cool.

Cool jacket.

Hey, beautiful day for an after school ice block fundraiser.

Oh, what do you need me to do?

Uh, nothing.

What? Like I'm out?

Signs out. Not exactly.

raised about your suitability to volunteer?

Claire. So Hannah and I will just take over.

Oh, well, I'm cross now.

Cross now.

Who says I'm not a good fundraiser?

Is it because I lost that sheep at the pet day pat -a -pet -a -thon?

No. Is it because I sent that school -wide text with the unfortunate auto

-correct and when I tried to correct it, I made it worse? No.

Well, I can't list all my stupid things, Heather. I'll be here till next

Tuesday.

Someone posted the Beyonce dance he did at the school disco on TikTok.

The one that ends with me falling face first into a vegan pavlova.

It's gone viral.

Jess, you have become one of those mean mums.

Her dancing's as good as her fundraiser. Oh, that's nice.

The other comments are equally sarcastic.

They don't think you're responsible enough to be a school fundraiser, Jess.

They can't fire a volunteer.

What are they going to do, stop not paying me?

I've got a meeting with the board about it tonight.

But don't worry, your best friends have a plan.

We're going to make today the most amazing icebox sale ever and prove once

for all that you're not as useless as you look.

Oh, what would I do without you two?

We can take it from here.

So to prove I'm responsible, you're just not going to give me any

responsibility?

It made more sense when Heather said it. I can help. I'm a proper grown -up.

You're wearing two different shoes.

Oh, would you look at that?

We'd better bring our A -game here now.

Margot, I've got a sore tummy.

Oh, it's another message today.

No, it's real this time.

Um,

I believe you. Okay, um, sit where you go.

And then close the door really tightly, please.

Don't open the window.

I don't feel... Very great.

Sorry. It's all right. I just, uh, hope this isn't the tummy bug that

obliterated St. Louis's primary.

My cousin gets the St. Louis.

Same. It doesn't obliterate a man.

It means a busy day for me. Yeah.

And, um, quite possibly, no, definitely the lighting of a really strong scented

candle. Okay, in you go.

And maybe some potpourri to get rid of the pooperies. Yeah.

Look how helpful I'm being.

I already cleaned those this morning.

We're now doubly clean.

We got Whitty his first phone and he's telling me how much he loves me.

Aww.

And can I transfer some money for more morning tea?

And the ice blocks are here. Oh. It's not Whitty. Oh, it's okay.

I can get them.

See? I can get them.

Thanks for donating these.

My wife promised I would, and I'm a man of my wife's word.

How did you guys get here so fast?

Through the music room. Oh, yeah, that is fun.

Are you Beyonce Mum Face Plants Pavlova?

Turns out I wasn't ready for this jelly.

I think they're all lemonade.

What? Oh, yeah, sorry, that's all I had. No, lemonade's so boring. No offense.

Okay, take them.

Luckily, we have the veteran of 14 school icebox sales helping us. We can

lemonade work.

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Hey, I'm married.

I don't feel so good.

Oh, that is kind of physical.

Thanks for your partners volunteering you for the working bee today.

Does anyone have any construction experience?

Yeah, I watch the block NZ.

Does that count?

No.

I think it does.

That's fair.

Poor Hina. She thought she was going to the loo for a number two, and she got a

number three. This is a huge blow.

Well, my enthusiasm will more than make up for her reliability and experience.

Your unorthodox approach to simple tasks will not be required today.

Hold this.

Don't touch anything.

I might do things differently, but I get the job done.

What day today?

Tuesday.

The 4th.

These expire tomorrow. I thought you checked them.

I didn't even know that icebox could expire.

Hydration break.

Water is the key to a healthy immune system.

I cannot get what Hannah has. Otherwise, where will you be?

Fired from an unpaid job and a national joke.

International joke. You're quite like in Germany.

Germany, Germany, Germany.

And no match for water.

Hi. Hey, there's a co -brown on the starboard.

Oh, awesome.

You know what a co -brown means, eh?

Yeah.

Oh!

Are you going to pick a little of this?

Um, I could take some.

Hey, Zim Zam!

Okay, stupid name will blow over. You can't even tell who or where I am.

The Pavlova had Kate Shepard primary written on it in kiwi fruit.

Hi, babe!

Hey, babe!

You working hard?

Yep.

Oh, Jeff, really liked your dance.

Thanks, Bob.

Oh, which he says that he is not feeling very well. It was a number three.

He also wants me to transfer him some money because he's eaten his lunch

already.

We'd better motor. I have to prove Jess is normal.

May take some time.

Bye, babe.

Bye, babe.

Silly.

Silly.

Can you give me a hand?

Can you come hold this?

I'm on my break.

So I'll do the float, the sign and the tables. And if you could just open a

window because it's quite hot in here.

Maybe you're going through the change. You take that back this minute.

I hope you're not getting sick.

I never get sick. I took $35 worth of vitamins this morning. Help me, this

icebox is doomed.

I feel amazeballs.

You don't look amazeball. That's because your eyes are wrong.

Would you excuse me a moment?

I'll get

your

active words at the school washing machine.

Mesh bag, cold wash, plant -based softness.

Thanks, now I go.

Mm -hmm.

You're perfectly nearly ready, Keenie. Thank you. No rush. I'll stay here nice

and close to the toilets.

Same. Okay.

Now, we're going to have to postpone the fundraiser.

Agreed. No, but they expire at midnight.

Like Gremlins.

I can do this on my own. I've already got the ice blocks. I just need a table,

float, and a sign.

I'm halfway there.

Quarter of the way there.

I thought... If any army's gone by the library, maybe she could help us. And by

that, I mean take over.

Mum's there in Mitzi's. Mum might still be here. Yes, she's had twins. She's at

least twice as capable as Jess.

With their help and us calling the shots from here, you might just pull this

off. Let's do this.

Yes.

I'm just going to pop to the loo.

Could any parents still on school grounds please... Please report to the

for urgent fundraising assistance.

What? I'm not surprised.

I said you were needing parent help.

With parents, we can help.

That's fast.

Uh, can't we get some senior girls?

Hi, babe.

Hi, babe.

Oh no.

Okay.

I usually wait for Heather to tell me what to do.

Same.

Henry says that you're being cyber -bullied, Jess.

Yeah. It's a bit of a do -or -die day for me.

I just have to prove to the board that I'm a capable fundraiser and not some

clown -like woman child who doesn't dance as well in real life as she thinks

does in her imagination.

But it should be fun.

Maybe we should get the tables.

I suspect so, that. That's helpful.

Yeah, where are they?

Ah.

That's a text.

It's from Heather.

She says that the tables are in Freddie's shed and we need to get the

mugget and don't let Jess be in charge of the... ash...

float. Yeah.

Less helpful.

Uh, he says good luck and do not let Jess be in charge.

Charge of the cash float.

Let's go, eh? How awesome.

Those looks are pretty straightforward.

Jess might manage it. She only has lemonade and dads are helping her. The

leading the blind out there. Dads can do anything these days. They've come a

long way.

I better help. Despite the fact that I feel worse than after I ate Jess's sushi

burritos. Oh.

You don't think this meme will really get her fired, do you? It's getting a

of likes.

Oh, uh... Should I announce this afternoon the fundraiser is cancelled?

No, Jess is taking over.

On her own?

Dads are helping her.

Well, I'm sure if anyone can do it, Jess can.

I liked her.

You don't like her.

Are

you Queen

Bee today?

Who ran the world? Girls. The patriarchy, actually.

Okay. The thing is, you need the freezer when you're finished for this science

experiment. Ice, ice, maybe.

I love science.

Yeah, I love another ice. I love getting the keys.

Thanks.

Don't.

Loser. Don't worry, I'm not a loser.

That's not what the incense did this morning.

Sorry, I wasn't being mean.

Yeah, and

we had

to go through with it because they expire at midnight.

Like gremlins.

I broke the key. I broke the key. What do I do? What do we do? What do we do?

I don't know. What do you think we should do? I want to run.

I'll take a look at it.

Yeah.

Yeah, you take, you just take a look.

Maybe.

Tell him I didn't look. Yeah, tell him that I helped.

Is that table that we're to you?

Oh, no.

Have you got a sore tummy?

Yeah. I'm going to call your granny.

Is that you?

Yeah. Okay, I'm going to call the police.

I think it's the same damage from the school disco.

Maybe it was when you fell on it with your face.

It's probably just a flange -related issue.

Oh, man, I don't care what anyone says. You dads are useful as.

Oh, it's just nice to help out at the school for once.

Yeah, we're not usually given this much responsibility, sir.

Neither.

Oh.

Bob, not again.

Hey, Freddie.

Hi, Vincent.

How's the day going?

Pretty sailor.

Yeah.

Hey, Freddy. How are you?

I'm really good. How are you?

I'm great.

Not as good as me.

Hey, Freddy.

Hey. What's the cleaning?

You don't want to know.

Unless you do want to know in which case I'm heavy to pet.

Uh, no, this is your entire TV spot.

I do have that formidable task, yes. Hey, do you like lemonade?

No.

Can we... freezer for the science fair? Yes, and I know all about that because I

had my listening ears on like a proper responsible adult.

Wait, are you that embarrassing mum from the video?

No, I just look exactly like her.

Heath, can you take the chilli bins from the resource room to the staff room in

time for the last minute I've got to ask her?

No, sweet Boba Fett. I think we might actually have this under control.

We got this.

No. No.

No. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Mate, no, no. I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

Is it bad?

It's like they're not even trying.

Better not be joking.

A reminder for students to wash your hands for at least 20 seconds.

Try saying Margot is the greatest 40 times.

I am the greatest.

What if he says people are starting to parody Jeff's meme?

Is that good?

I don't think so.

They've gone very quiet on the text update.

I hope everything's okay on the ice block front.

Oh, great.

There's a message from the school board. They've accepted my offer.

What offer?

If today goes well, Jess can stay on, and if not, I'm allowed to resign in

protest. You made that offer before we got sick, eh?

Yeah.

Bob, it is amazing.

Mmm.

No, no, no, no, you've got haemorrhoids.

It's okay.

Kiss all the time.

Oh, what?

Something you should say.

Tell me.

No.

I think the senior kids replaced all our ice blocks with their really cool

manila ice experiment.

Did they have to put them all in the sun?

They could have just taken out this huge bag of ice and said, Oh, there's going

to be something we can do. All my fundraising days are over.

Bob, you're a legend and incredibly practical. What are you suggesting?

Not helpful.

Who know me?

Guess it's just down to the dream team.

I smell it.

Ah, yep.

I think we're going to have time to refreeze these by three, Heath.

No, don't fancy your chances.

You've kicked out my fundraising gang.

Hey, why do you keep doing this when you're so bad at it?

I just want to be a good person and help the school while I'm mucking about with

my mates.

Hey, kiddo.

You'll figure this out.

Constantly being underestimated can really crash your self -confidence after

while. It can.

It can.

Chin up, buttercup.

Remember what Beyonce said when life gives you lemons?

Make an amazing concept album?

No.

Lemonade? Yes.

No. Yep.

Better than lemonade.

I think I know how we can save the fundraiser and make more money than we

dreamed. Heath, do you have your fully stocked land of liquor van here?

Yes, and I've got a really good cafe.

Oh, by the Putakawa? Yep.

Nice.

We've got 10 minutes to raise funds and social media's expectations of me and

Dad.

You're fine.

Okay, Alpha Team, go!

Grab the stuff from the van.

Stop. No.

No.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes!

Hi, man. Do you know any more toilets in the clean -up?

Why are you so happy about the toilet atrocities today?

All right, so I get a bonus every time I clean up someone's poop.

And also, little Freddie, she wants, like, a De Harmo Gothic T -shirt, which

fair enough. And also, I lost my sense of smell because I lived in Columbia for

two years.

What's the loot bag?

Oh, just playing with them cops and robbers with the room sick.

Wait, are you an actual cop?

Yeah.

Oh, and I was joking about the Columbia thing.

Yeah. I don't have a problem.

A reminder that tomorrow is the compulsory Zumbathon, and there's a

ice block sale on now in the Cabot Walkway.

Oh, we have done way better than ice block.

Oh!

Hi!

I knew you could do it.

That makes one of us.

Uh, green straw for you, Mr. Cockfield.

I'm fine. You're cool?

Yep. Okay.

Nice one.

Well, we intentionally mouser down the ice blocks into lemonade, just like

Beyonce's famous concept album. Then we mix them with crushed ice and heaps of

non -alcoholic cocktail mixes to double our product and profit. The dads and I

might do things differently, but we get the job done.

The school board's going to be very impressed with this, Jess.

Oh, Wessie says, Ninja guinea pig obstacle course is overtaking Jess's

And he wants me to bring a rainbow slushie home because he's starving.

Well, um...

I couldn't have done it without Bob.

Or he. Or he.

Good job, babe.

Thanks, babe.

Now, please excuse me.

I think I'm going to poo my pants.

The compartment.

Fundraisers are allowed to bid on their own silent options, right?

Are fundraisers allowed to bid?

And the winner is... Jeff!

A fundraiser won her own raffle.

Fundraisers would never give themselves an unfair advantage.