Original subtitles

Welcome back to a new year and a partly new school, thanks to last year's

fundraiser. Don't forget to vote for the school fundraiser in the library.

It's unpaid and incredibly stressful, but...

You know, as a year two mum, I'm going to be more organised, less

overwhelmed and better at third things than last. This year, on New Year's, I'm

extremely good at third things than last.

I've got five boys. My holidays don't start until the youngest at class.

But after we're re -elected as fundraisers, settle in and make the

jealous with our unlikely friendship.

You are good at this, my father.

The junior parent, Hui, is our chance to remind voters that we're better than

them. Don't worry. New Jess will be there at 9 .50.

9 .15.

9 .15.

And don't worry.

My speech is super mature.

Maureen and Margot, excited for the new year?

Not if it's the same mums as last year.

Those junior fundraisers are a real pain in the ass in the arms. How can I help?

Oh, hi. Sorry, it's my first day. I mean, it's her first day.

Do you know where room seven is?

Yes, yes. It is over there by the cross -eyed taniwha.

Thank you. Good luck.

Have fun.

Oh, I feel sorry for you and mums. They have so much to learn.

You do know that after the renovations, rooms haven't done that way, eh?

New Jet did not know that.

Well, at least they labelled all Ryan's stationery with my very best printing.

Room 2 has shared stationery. You're not supposed to name it.

Did you not get the school email?

What school email?

volunteer to be a school fundraiser.

Even Dad.

Okay, pretty junior.

The first day at school is like the first day in prison.

Yeah. You find the biggest person there and you ask him to be your best friend.

Yeah. I'm not saying that you have to be the recycling monitor, but if you were

to be that, you'd be the best recycling monitor in the history of the school.

Okay, what's your first day at school face?

Okay.

Keep it.

I'm sorry, I labelled all the stationery because I didn't get the school email.

That is all good. Miss Love warned me about you. Can you do the countdown,

please? But, you know, I am still available on Thursday to help with Cool

Drawing Club.

That's Friday.

Friday. You're going to want to go see Margot in the office so you can... Get

back on the email list.

That's the one. Yeah, yeah, easy.

Margot and I, we go way back.

Because sooner rather than later is best. Hey, mate, how are you?

I missed you too. Have that one.

You don't want to be the last one to know what's going on, do you? I don't

to be the last one to know what's going on.

Okay, I just have to go to the junior parent. Who are we first? Junior parent.

Well, the office is on the way. I'm sure a year or two, mum will be like

yourself, going to figure out a way to do both. New Jets. Going to get on that

list. Awesome.

Hey, Rhino.

Come over here, my man.

Congratulations, dear. You've just been upgraded to confetti committee.

It helps with their fine motor skills.

And my wedding.

New school shoes.

All right, you're in room two this year, Ava, remember?

I knew it was a number.

Sorry, can we just hurry up a little bit? I have to get to a parent

contest.

What did you do over the holidays, Ava?

Take your time.

Oh my gosh, Ava, that reminds me of a story.

It's really long, but you know what? I'm going to share it with you anyway.

I was about 22, about three years ago, and... All unnamed as requested.

I'm Heather. I emailed you our goals for the year.

Oh, well, I usually let the kids write their own.

They were my goals for you.

Heather.

Yes, Heather. Phil did mention you.

I am really looking forward to teaching Synonym.

Synonym?

It's cinnamon.

Always correct people or they'll never learn.

Whoa.

Is that the trophy you won last year for winning most trophies?

My gosh, you are so amazing.

This reminds me of the trophy that I won last year.

Miss Samoa.

Miss Samoa, are you familiar with Miss Samoa?

Well, you're looking at her. Okay. It's a really long story.

And it won't take long.

But I'm going to tell you about it anyway.

So I was actually born here in Auckland, but I had to go back to Samoa to

qualify it.

Hey, do you mind if I just push in front of you? Yes.

It's just I have to go to a grown -up thing, and I'm making a pretty dope

speech, so... Are you being bullied, Exxon?

Yes. No.

Do you just want him to do what I want or else? You're very immature.

You are.

Excuse me?

You are.

A great example to young New Zealanders. You bet I am.

My name's actually Margaret, and they wanted me to go, and the guy that was

writing my name down couldn't understand, so he just shortened it to

So that's how I got Margot.

Wow.

I love you, Miss Lightfoot. I love you, Fat Karma.

Here she is. Kia ora, sir.

I'm going to take this on to Zin Zin and Mr Jellyman's class.

Are the twins at Jean Batten Intermediate yet?

I and Witty's at Dame Finna Cooper College.

Five boys, three schools, and one busy mum. Oh, how you doing?

Stop showing off your maths skills and hurry up, honey.

You might have to take a seat.

Good luck.

Um, did you get my text?

Recycling monitor is a very important class job.

Well, Freddie Junior is a very important class member.

I can't play favourites just because you're on staff.

I could just do the same thing to you.

I don't know, like... Whoops.

Excuse me.

Caretaker?

Caretaker.

Someone's dropped... hopefully chocolate mousse all over the friendship bench.

OK, I am the caretaker, but I'm also a caregiver.

And I don't start till nine.

Right,

there's a code bound in the northern quadrant.

Sorry about that.

I'll be back.

I lost a bet and I'm staff parent liaison.

I don't need that seat.

Good, because it's saved.

Where is that new dress?

Don't worry, no one ever volunteers for these things.

We made it look extremely fun last year, hadn't we?

Amen. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, what can I do for you, darling?

I just want to ask how your holidays were.

Oh, they were very nice, thank you.

Okay, bye.

Oh, bye.

Hi, Margot. I just really quickly wanted to get back on that school email list.

Jess speaking.

I'm the parent who accidentally ate the science fair project lunch.

The junior parent who is about to begin in the library.

BRB, future best friend.

Oxford English Dictionary defines better fundraisers.

You okay, Freddie?

Keep your answer concise. I am in a rush.

Hi, Brian's mum.

Oh, Ryan's mum.

Yeah. Sorry, I just really want my daughter to have a good first day.

Wow, it's an experience here too, mum. I can tell you.

She's going to be just fine.

I just want her to be a profiling model.

Oh, isn't that what any of us really want, you know?

The junior parents' hoey's about to begin.

They have school text alerts now.

Text alerts.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines better fundraiser. And the Oxford

Dictionary defines better fundraiser. And...

The Dickford Oxford Engleberry

defines...

No, you're never early.

I told you, no one ever volunteers for anything.

I assume we automatically become the junior fundraising committee.

Technically, you have to be voted in by a junior parent who's not running.

Oh, well, my best friend Eddie is a parent.

They want you to vote for them, Freddie.

No one likes to know it all, Phil.

I actually prepared a speech, so I'm... Sorry.

Um, who's in charge of the recycling monitors?

We can be. Yeah, I was going to say, in the speech, if you... This year we plan

to move away from structured athons and pluck from the low -hanging fruit of

chocolate selling.

Well, Brian's mum was pretty nice to me.

All right, you get my vote.

New dress for the win.

You have to clean the pool toilets for a year.

No problem.

Right. High five, honey.

Well, that was easy.

I don't know what you were so worried about, Jess. Well, it's really nice to

have the girl gang back together.

The three mummy girls.

The three mumsketeers.

Three is the magic number.

That's mildly inconvenient.

What, what?

No one volunteered for the middle school fundraising committee again.

More opportunities for us to impress people.

Get back on that email slash text alert list.

As per the school email... There will be weekly school fundraisers this year as

the holiday program damage to the junior playground was nearly underestimated.

And, Destiny, you will be the whiteboard monitor.

Yay!

What's a whiteboard?

It's the board that's white.

Uh, clockroom monitor will... Pretend I'm not here, guys.

We just had an issue with the playground, so we're making sure it

into the class.

So... Okay.

Sounded like you were about to announce the refocusing monitors.

Out. How long has this been here for?

Now.

All right. Well, you won't be needing this then.

Remember, it's about your imagination.

Use your imagination when you're writing.

Bonjour, Ryan.

Hola, Ryan.

Hi, Ryan.

Well, look at that. It turns out naming your book helped your classmates learn

your name.

It's Ryan.

Yep.

I know.

Okay, so the email address is... Oh, here you go, mate.

Hi, Margot. Hi.

All right. Thank you, Cinnamon.

Bye, Margo.

Bye. Sorry about your mum.

This really won't take long.

Can Ryan's mum please report to room two?

Immediately.

That'll be all.

Thank you.

You know, it turns out having kids' names on stationery helps them make

Are you saying that Ryan's popular?

He's certainly made an impression.

What do you say to using your helping hands and naming all the kids' books?

Oh, I just got voted into the Junior Fundraising Committee by a landslide,

though I didn't get to do my awesome speech.

Also, I haven't quite got on that email list yet, so I... Right, well, teamwork

does make the dream work, as they say.

Ah!

Fine.

I'm not doing your wedding invites.

What are your fundraising ideas?

We did wine tasting for Kapa Haka.

No, too many pregnant non -drinkers in our target market.

Next. We're doing a glacker hole golf tournament for hockey, or as I like to

call it, a hole in wine.

Are all your ideas wine -based?

For orchestra, we're doing wine dancing.

We're doing more than one fundraising committee.

Yes. But Addis is your favourite, right, Hannah?

Repeat after me.

He. He.

Me.

Me.

We don't have time for this, do we?

We need to forge an alliance with the senior fundraisers. They're not voted in

yet. They'll be the leftovers from last year. They'll be hanging out by the bike

sheds. Chop, chop.

Now, what is your name?

Karma Neve Shroomslap.

Okay, I think I know how to spell Neve.

N -E -V -E?

Nope. N -I -A -M -H.

Are we sure?

Mm -hmm.

Ruby, Giddy, Giddy, Tambour.

You must be really good at the alphabet, because your life name contains pretty

much all of it.

Bissio, Gundapay.

Flowa. Drupowa.

Curly, Dirt.

Tapuamavi.

Do many people say it correctly?

No. No.

Hardly anyone pronounces these kids' names correctly.

It's okay to get it wrong. It's the trying that's important.

It must be really hard to have a name people struggle with.

These kids should do something dramatic, then no one would dare get them wrong.

Like what?

Something no one sees coming.

Now, I'm going to go get back on that list so I'm not so confused all the

We need to focus on high -profit events, no more of Jess's low -yield a -thons.

I thought my father -thon had merit.

How did your meeting with the seniors go?

They offered me a job.

Oh, you're going to be super busy doing both junior and senior fundraising.

Actually, I'll just do one.

The seniors have got kids at intermediate and high school.

And they've offered to help me with my other kids' pick -ups for theater sports

and quidditch. Oh, we need you.

You're like a human calculator who can cuddle when life gets overwhelming.

And you know everything about this school. With the added bonus that Margot

doesn't seem to dislike you as much as she dislikes Jess.

She's coming around.

I'm pretty busy. I'm on two other school fundraising committees.

But we're your favorites, right?

I'm leaving to join the senior fundraising committee.

We need to get her back.

She's the Cliff Curtis of fundraising. She can do anything, unlike some people.

Two is a much less magic number. Let's go see Zim Zan and Mr. Jellyman's class.

I love jelly. Hey, what about a jellyathon? Please just stop trying. No

Trying is what New Jersey does best.

That and write rad speeches no one gets to listen to. Hey, can we stop by the

office on the way?

No!

Zim Zan, we need your help to convince your mum to stay in our gang.

She likes wine.

Renee does like wine.

She missed.

I know.

No, you're saying it wrong.

Do you think that's why she missed?

This is all your fault!

Why is it my fault? You let me mispronounce my best friend's name.

Yeah, you could have said something, Ryan's mum.

Do I say he and they right?

It's pretty good.

And yet you refuse to help me be respectful to my friend. I thought you

trying to be better.

Mum says there's always a polite way of correcting people.

Can't any of you do that?

Don't blame the victim, Jess.

It's a privilege to park your car. It's about time we did something right for a

change.

Ah,

the CEO can't know he's about to stop. I've got to get back on that list.

How are we going to convince her to stay, Jess?

We're mum.

We'll make it up as we go.

Speak with you a minute.

We need your help organising a junior fundraising... Pronunciation -a -thon.

Pronunciation -a -thon.

Kids get sponsored to learn how to say all their classmates' names correctly.

This class gets a piece of lunch with gluten and dairy -free options.

I'm sorry Jess didn't pipe up about my pronunciation sooner.

Saying your name correctly is literally the least we can do.

Hina? That's all I really wanted.

Jess said I should do something dramatic.

But what about the carpooling? And us using your actual pool?

We can make your life so much easier.

Yeah, but these mean mums can make it so much more fun.

You're kidding me.

You should get back on the school reminder list.

Excuse me, ladies.

I have a date with Destiny.

I think Destiny's in room one this year.

I

just

heard about your pronunciation, Lauren.

Not your worst idea.

Yeah, that was probably my broccoli -a -thon.

Well, you won't make much money.

But I know some kids who might appreciate it.

Let's get you back on this list, shall we? Come on.

All right.

Email address?

NewJethRule, with a Z, at coolmail .com.

Cool. And your phone number?

021. Which one?

555. 555.

The shorter numbers are cheaper.

Okay. Well, there you have it. You are on the parent spam loop.

Hi, Mom.

Hello, Mom. Oh, my little Ryan.

Let's have a look at this.

Oh, there's a new school shoe.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

Squeak, squeak, squeak. Yep, the shoe's done just like his mom.

Can you get her a shopping monitor?

Family high five?

Who got bee monitor?

Ben. Ben, who's allergic to bees?

He's allergic to flies.

Okay, right.

Bye -bye. Bye.

And remember, you are more afraid of them than they are of you.

Thank you.

Right.

To the beehives.

Nice to be back.

Yeah.

Hi, Mr. Cotshead.

Kia ora, Ryan.

Did you see the school text?

No.

You should talk to your mum's squad.

Bye, Mr. Cotshead.

Mā te wā, Ryan.

Is it true?

The senior fundraisers quit when they couldn't get our henny.

So we're going to be fundraising for the whole school this year.

And the junior playground needs replacing.

Plus, we're doing the pool loo for Freddie.

Well,

teamwork makes the dream work.

Sure you're not going to be too busy, Henny?

I'll do the mahi.

Mahi means work.

I killed her.

I feel like we're already getting better.

I hereby call the first Tuesday meeting for the whole entire school fundraising

committee to order.

Why

don't

you do your little speech for us, Jess?

We know you want to.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines better fundraiser as... Who do we

currently hate? I'm just taking it to the man.

Or in this case, the mum.

If it doesn't have palm oil in it, your fundraising days are over. That's just

not working. We have no teachers by that name.

If you lost my tooth, it would be the end of the world.

Oh, Jessica.

Did you just swallow a child too?