Original subtitles

I can't believe that was our last fundraiser for the year.

Hey, one more meeting and it's all over.

We totally raised a bazillion bucks though, right Henny?

Oh, I think we've got enough for the choir to get to regional.

Plus, bonus leftovers for the kiddie next year.

Or if the choir go to nationals.

Hello? Hello?

Okay, maybe just kiddie next year. Well, I say last night was a success.

Last night was an unmitigated disaster.

I blame Nicole Kidman. You can't blame Nicole Kidman.

She's been through enough. She was married to Tom Cruise for 10 years.

In Big Little Lies, she was on a school fundraising committee and her husband

got murdered.

So? In The Undoing, she was on a school fundraising committee and one of the

other mums got murdered.

These are strong arguments.

Heather, you can't blame Nicole Kidman for our inability to attract a new

member. Why didn't she want to join the fundraisers? She's perfect.

Event management skills, previous charity success.

That's not a...

So our Venn diagrams don't intersect too much.

She's a unicorn.

A perfect mythical moth.

Maybe we were mistaken.

A little Buffy the Vampire gag right there.

Your outdated pop culture references are not what we need right now.

Let's go over last night, see if we just went wrong. Maybe we could salvage our

force.

Shouldn't what happens at the 80s parents' prom stay at the 80s parents'

No.

Here she comes. Remember your affirmation.

I attract wonderful people to my life.

I live in the moment.

I'm a magic maker.

Okay, might want to tuck in your crazy.

Hi!

Wow, you fundraisers go all out in your costume.

We are nothing if not full on.

Hey, Sophie, did you know that you're the only person ever, Sophie, to take

interest in being a fundraiser on the school Facebook page, Sophie?

Yes, I did see that extremely detailed comment you left. She's not always like

this.

Look, next year's a while away. Let's talk later. A lot later.

Well, we could talk now, Sophie.

Later.

She was so keen to be one of us. Well, she was somewhat keen to be one of us.

She wasn't that great.

Do we really need a fourth fundraiser?

Yes.

As a backup of...

For example, someone forgets lemons for the lemonade stand at Pacifica Drum

Group when it was their one job.

That happened one time.

And you know what? I think you came on a bit too strong.

Well, that doesn't sound like me.

Are you sure you didn't say something to put her off, Jess?

I had bigger things to deal with.

Has Mr Cox said he is?

He's so cute, don't you think?

No, I never really thought about it.

It may be in like a really weird, no need to pursue anything romantic kind of

way. Oh, I plan to pursue, I plan to pursue big time.

I know, she likes a boy you like and can't have.

I'll hold the fort.

Ah, cheers.

Bag.

Rattlesnake.

What would I do without you?

Keep walking, Kelly, with an IE.

DJ, not to the oak in the house. Who's ready to party?

Who's ready for the fun races to open the bar?

I will.

How many?

What's that?

Can't say.

Okay.

Ready to win the dance competition later?

Yeah.

Not really, are you?

All proceeds help send the choir to regionals. And you never know, maybe

nationals. Have you heard the choir?

Oh, you're here.

Yeah, just womaning the bar.

Womaning? It's like manning, but to a higher standard. The best pay in

as we go.

You are going to love being a fundraiser, especially with your event

and your charity skills.

Hey, hey, have you seen Beth's mum?

Bucky here.

Extraordinary sexual confidence.

Weird taste in me. You know what? I don't need a drink.

Good luck tonight, ladies.

You scared her off. You scared her off.

If loving fundraising is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Why don't you just leave Sophie to me, okay? I attract wonderful people to my

life. Women do find you oddly unthreatening. I'm oddly persuasive.

I am Patrick Persuasive.

I've just got to do something first.

Hi, babe. Hi, babe.

Hi, Bob.

Hey, have you seen Inez? Yes, she looks amazing.

You were looking amazing.

More importantly, I was making a killing selling song request.

Never stop being my friend.

You were on fundraising fire, fire henny. Hashtag choir, hashtag grateful,

hashtag blessed.

Well, usually the kumara doesn't speak of its own sweetness, but I was running

sweet system.

Don't forget your roots, 660.

Two dollars for a kiwi wave.

Greek megamix.

Five dollars.

How much for some sweet, sweet Twisted?

Do you have a minute?

No means no, Kelly with an IE.

Oh, hey, good to be following you in here.

I'm just fixing my makeup before I wreck Richard.

Parents really are supposed to call him Mr.

Coxhead.

Richard's a little familiar.

Next thing you know, you're going to be calling him Dick. Well, I plan on

getting very familiar with Dick, if you know what I mean.

I know what you mean.

Yeah, that mum -principal relationships are kind of off -limits.

Yes, there's this whole debacle with St. Luigi's Primary that the Board of

Trustees still frustratingly haven't resolved.

You're going to have to find a consensual love connection with someone

tonight, sorry.

Not sorry.

My daughter finishes year six next week, so I won't even be a school mum.

My ex -husband's going to regret posting that photo of him in Mihitai from

marketing.

Wish me luck, Jess.

Good luck!

want to talk about.

Huh? He came into the girl's toilet. Must have been pretty urgent.

They offered me the contract to build those new apartments.

And a double cab ute.

Are you going to take it?

Well, I really want the ute.

Are you ready to move the farm now? Do you want to come next year?

And smile!

Get a drink.

Well, there's a little something I should probably tell you.

Oh, there hasn't been this much crying at Kate Sheppard since the finish line

Cross Country.

Yeah, kids do get really emotional about that, right?

I just can't believe you're leaving us here now.

Only maybe.

Possibly.

Probably.

What's the South Island got that we haven't?

Bob's dream job.

What about your job?

I can be an accountant anywhere. Space if I want to.

I do want to.

Sophia's looking pretty necessary right now.

Why won't you respond to any of my calls, texts, FaceTimes, tweets,

DMs, WhatsApp messages or TikToks?

There's a lot of platforms for people to ignore you on these days.

You're on TikTok?

I'm very on fleek, Jessica.

I don't think you're using on fleek correctly.

Is that why you were doing such hardcore fundraising last night, Enid? I just

wanted there to be extra in the caddy for next year.

Just in case.

I've got some requests.

I've got entry fees for the dance competition.

I've got people who are going to win the dance competition.

I've got prom photos, and I've got raffle tickets.

Dude, I'm loving the pitch right now, but your CTA's a little lacking. And

what's my ROI?

I mean, what's the raffle prize, yo?

Coffee with Margot.

Oh, yeah, I'll take some of that action. Some focused FaceTime will really up my

brand awareness with the school's key influencer.

Have you got change for a 20?

No, you should just buy 20 vaccines to take it.

It looks like you've got change.

No. All right!

Penny. Oh, what have you told you? I'm not interested, Kelly, with an IE.

Look, we've got a spot that's opened up, and we need a mum with your mana and

your experience.

And it's just help.

I'm not available next year.

Shh, shh, shh.

Hey, how's it going, G? Yeah, good. I just tried to convince Beth's mum that

she's too good for Mr. C, but it seems to have backfired and given her more

confidence.

Good night!

Hey, how's the circus thing going? I got a lot of balls in the air here, Ned.

A lot of balls.

Did you just get rejected, Mr. Liberty?

Put your hands in the air!

Like you just don't care!

Get out!

Shouldn't tonight be called 80's appearance?

Ball, not a transparent prop?

I was overruled for once.

I'm not really killing myself lately.

Is it too much changing?

Yes, it is.

This wine, it tastes quite appalling.

Oh, oh, that's my wine.

In light of Henry's news, there's a little something I should probably talk

you about, too.

You might have been wondering why I've been acting so weird lately.

Lately?

I'm pregnant.

What? Oh, yeah.

This is so nice.

No, it's very, very early days, and I've just been trying to keep it on the DL,

you know.

Again, not correct usage.

I thought the IVF didn't work.

Yes, that does appear to have been a colossal waste of money for something I

could get for free. Now, before I continue, let me be very clear.

not an illness.

Serena Williams won the Australian Open while pregnant. And those two ladies

were nominated for Best Picture Oscars for those movies that they directed

pregnant. And Jacinda ran the country.

However, I did get a tiny bit of morning sickness with cinnamon.

To find tiny, I was vomiting for the first 40 weeks. I was basically Kate

Middleton.

And if Kine's leaving and I'm slightly incapacitated, it means Jess will be on

her own next year.

That's why you guys were going extra crazy last night, trying to make sure

things were going to be easier for me next year.

I'm not so sure things are going to be easier for me next year.

Those are good numbers. Good luck. I love this.

You look so good.

Hey, Jess.

Hey. Wow, you look amazing.

Oh, my mum.

I love this. Yeah.

Would you enter here near the dance competition with me?

I told Ben's mum that I already asked you because she was being a little... a

lot. Yeah, well, she's not backwards about coming forward, that's for sure.

Um, yeah, I just, uh... I have to finish selling my raffle tickets first. I'll

buy the rest.

Really? Yeah.

It's like $30.

Well, it all helps the choir get to regionals, right?

And hopefully nationals. I think nationals too.

I mean, if they don't make it, we could always use that money.

Next year's library issues will not come deep.

Are you saying you think we need a fourth fundraiser?

At the very least.

Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

And smile!

I just want to say sorry that Heather's been so full on and I'm being only

slightly less full on. It's okay.

You guys do a great job.

I'm just not good at bake sales and readathons and I'm wary of hardcore

fundraisers like Heather.

That'd be kind of amazing.

And Heather balances her out so well.

Even though she did say if fundraising is wrong then she doesn't want to be

right.

Look,

it's only Tuesday meeting and a couple of hundred Heather emails.

But the fundraising we do, it really helps. And they seem like little things,

but they're big things for the kids.

I'll think about it.

Do you think so?

Okay. Think about it.

contest, right Mr. C?

Excuse me.

Sorry, I just need to tell my friends I found a unicorn.

A what?

Yeah, a mythical mum who's perfect for fundraising, events management skills,

previous charity success, and not overly funny, so our Venn diagrams, they don't

intersect too much.

Sophie is a school volunteer's school volunteer. Sophie?

Elizabeth's mum. Yeah? Oh, she's quite the catch.

I'm surprised nobody's nabbed her yet.

That's very interesting.

Only for the briefest of moments.

Oh, I feel sick.

Because the fundraisers are in trouble next year.

No, morning sickness. It doesn't always occur in the morning. Morning.

Hey,

where's Heather? I have amazing news.

She's on her 14th toilet, right?

She's chairperson of the board of trustees and she's always trying to

me. And I always say no, fundraisers are the poor gods.

Board of trustees.

So she's looking for a new board member.

Yep. Ideally somebody with events management skills and previous charity

success. Ideally.

I've just got to do something.

Could the contestants for the dance concert please gather by the dance

Sorry, Jeff, the Board of Trustees is a bit of a fit for me.

I mean, no Heather and more opportunity to make a positive change.

Did I mention no Heather? What about charming grassroots fundraising?

Oh, there'll be no school fundraising next year.

Sorry, excuse me?

Kelly's suggesting a large donation from parents who don't want to volunteer. I

mean, everyone's busy. It's just easier.

There'll be no need for silly bake sales or low -yield read -a -thons.

Oh.

And now it's time to grab the ones you love for the damn company.

I'm so sorry, I need a rain check. The dance contest.

Fundraiser emergency.

I understand.

Hey, you.

Put your cloths down.

Come on, we're going to dance.

Oh, no, I don't want to dance.

Take the most of it. Final hurrah.

My dancing is really on fleek.

You know what?

I'm really doing great. Wonderful people to my life. I live at the moment.

of the dance contest.

Can you please get the floor?

More talking here.

Everywhere. Good luck, everybody. You're doing great.

do we have no fourth fundraiser? We're on the brink of extinction.

Well, at least we made enough acquire, right, Henry?

We did, but no surplus for next year, I'm afraid.

Excuse me.

Hi.

On behalf of acquire, I'd like to say a very big thank you for taking time out

of your very busy schedules to raise money to send us to regionals.

You are welcome, young man.

You're welcome.

It was our pleasure.

Thank you.

Oh.

So, what happened with this woman here?

Well, I had to hide Richard from her for the rest of the night.

Actually, there is something I need to talk to you about, too.

What?

We burnt our bridges.

Fill all the tears I cried.

Nothing came of it.

Even though the wells run dry.