Original subtitles

Oh, I can't wait for the disco tonight.

We could slow down in the spotlight.

Oh, in front of your friends.

I might even sing. You wouldn't, dear. I would totally, dear. You're so

embarrassing, Mom.

That is why you love me.

Hi. Hi.

A reminder, tonight's very special Matsudiki Disco starts at 6.

If the fundraising committee can get their decorations up on time.

Wow, how does she know that I am running a little behind schedule?

Experience. Yeah, that's fair.

Oh,

sorry, I stayed up late making decorations.

Plus, I volunteered to make costumes for the senior anti -smoking play, Planet

of the Bates.

You're not Heather and Henry?

I seem to be in the wrong parent meeting.

Oh, we thought you might be here to join our new committee.

Oh, no, no. My fundraising keeps me pretty busy.

Plus, I'm now somehow in charge of swimming sports.

I sent an email out, but I only got one reply.

Some people only skim school emails.

Yeah, I read through all school emails thoroughly.

Well, so you know what we're trying to do?

Uh -huh. Well, then I don't have to tell you that today...

Is a big day.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yes, it is. Good luck with that. Well, you're not going to join us?

We could really use your fundraising experience and your mum charisma.

You could?

Oh, well, I mean... Experience

in charismatic jest speaking.

Impatient and demanding heather speaking. Where are you, young lady?

Um, I'm in the resource room. What are you doing there?

I genuinely don't know.

Well, I'm in the hall supporting Ine's Matariki disco.

We need to be allies, Jess.

Chop, chop.

I'm harnessing my Ine heather today, so you'd better look out.

Chop, chop.

Now, just drop those Matariki decorations off when you can.

I just need to take this to the hall.

But you're coming back, right?

It'd be impolite not to.

Phew!

Thanks, Jess.

No, thank you.

You don't even know what this committee does, Jess. Well, no, not yet, but it's

Tristan's mum and Sarah's dad. They're both so nice and I'll figure it out

eventually. Except you'll be busy helping me.

Who's busy helping him, then? Oh, no, but I told him that I would go back.

And my main job was decorations, so I'm pretty much done, right?

Also, I promised Room 9 that I would clean out their axolotl tank later.

You know, you are allowed to say no to people, Jess.

Obviously, never me, or during Matariki Hine. Yeah, but their committee is so

very inexperienced, and you guys are so very capable.

Well, I'll allow it this once, but only because you worked so hard on your

decoration. I got little to no sleep.

Buddy, just ask them what they do.

I'm only going to make things awkward by asking directly of what I need.

Brutal honesty is so not my thing.

Yeah, it's much more heather's thing.

Wasn't there a school email about it?

Yes. Yes. I will read that on my way back to whatever it is I've just joined.

Tahi roa.

Toodoo!

Night.

Kia kaha.

Coxy, just to clarify, that means yes, we're on for our face -to -face at

lunchtime? Yes, but it's on the down low.

Oh, yeah, I knew that. Good, I'll see you then. When?

Yeah, lunchtime.

Yeah, no, I know.

I was keeping it on the deal.

Yeah,

I'm really ready to make some real change in this school, just like your

somewhat vague email says.

Same.

That's so good to hear. It's about time we took some action, right? Yes, I love

that ethos. I love the ethos of...

RTD initiative.

What does that stand for again?

I mean, what doesn't it stand for?

Exactly.

Some people can be so ignorant.

Oh, I hate those people.

But those people still deserve answers.

Oh, God, I know it's hard to put it into words, but if we could, how would we

define it?

An unorthodox solution.

to an age -old problem.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, my thoughts exactly.

Do you want us to research something called the RPD initiative?

This one's vaguely familiar.

All I'm getting is Alcopop ads clearly targeting teenage girls.

I'll drink something called Skinny Disaster.

Let's not get distracted.

I want tonight to be perfect for you, Hina. And we have to work doubly hard

without Jess.

Don't know about doubly hard.

Hina, you have a visitor.

That'll be our astronomer.

See you.

Have you prepared anything?

Oh, well, I usually just kind of, like, go with the flow, you know? Like, feel

the vibe, et cetera, et cetera.

But you do know about the stars, correct?

Oh, yeah. I mean, you're an Aries, am I right?

Determined, generous, cheerful.

Scorpio. Determined, generous, brutally honest.

I hate to ask a fellow woman about her capabilities, but are you sure you're an

astronomer? Oh, no, I'm an astrologer.

And part -time psychic.

Someone called Jess booked me.

I don't think we'll be needing you tonight.

But you'd already know that if you were a psychic.

Part -time.

Are you Tasha's auntie? Yeah.

Oh, you're so cute to your mum for me. You too.

What you seek will come to you as soon as you stop trying.

I seek a new astronomer.

Big change is coming for your family.

Oh, we need to go to the hall and drop top.

She's being me today.

It's your birthday.

Oh, you know what we should do?

Talk about our favourite aspects of the RTD initiative.

You first.

No, no, no.

We should get some press.

I have the number for the teacher who runs the school newspaper, as it appears

that I am in charge of all the advertising this term.

Wow, are you everyone's friend, Jess? Well, I'm no he, Ned, but...

I do, okay.

So, um, yeah, you can speak to a reporter in depth and in detail about

initiative, and I'll... I'll just listen, because I already know what it

Yeah. Such a good idea. I know.

Now I'll definitely avoid any awkward conversations.

Sorry. The junior journo is on her way over.

That's so awesome.

But didn't you say we needed to go get the tub?

Yes. We do.

Jess, can you handle a press?

Tarp? Press? What?

No! You'll know exactly what to say.

Your confidence in me is literally overwhelming.

What does the RCD and its committee stand for?

I mean, what doesn't it stand for, Tova?

Do you want to have another crack at answering that?

Yep.

What do you think it stands for?

Your vague literature says you're an unorthodox approach to an age -old

Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Which is why we need a tarp.

Obviously. The event being held in the library at lunchtime, correct?

The library?

So the librarian will know all about it.

Just like how I know all about it.

Hey, what about my story?

You'll get your scoop, Tova, okay? I just need to speak with the librarian.

And I'll see you after school because I am the new flipper ball coach.

Cut.

Can I bring my lunch to this meeting? I've got eggs, sammies, but they don't

smell. Um, I don't have a meeting in your diary.

Ah, last minute.

Okay, well, I'll put it in. What is it?

No, no, I misspoke. Sorry.

It's not a meeting. It's more of an informal chat.

Okay, well, I can still put it in.

No, no, no, I don't want to trouble you. It's no trouble.

Tell Vince about the time you almost met Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

Oh, yeah.

It was at the New Plymouth Airport.

Oh, my gosh, he looked at me almost.

There was this energy. I could feel it, you know? We both could.

What was he doing in New Plymouth?

It's the rock. He can be anywhere he wants.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You make a fair point.

Don't you have a cross -country course to remote?

Yeah.

I might make it join up this time.

Maybe.

Enjoy the tea.

I need to find a last -minute astronomer.

It's really starting to feel like I'm the only Matariki ally here.

Remember, I like to be firm on the phone.

Kia ora, this is Hine. Who am I speaking with?

Not Noah Campbell.

Mmm, kia ora.

Aye.

Aye.

Aye, ka pai.

Hmm.

Ka hore anō ki atau, Noah, Noah.

I'll say kia ora to your mum for me.

That was Noah Campbell. She's sending us a triple threat.

Young wahine Maori.

Channeling me is really working out for you, right?

Do you know everyone?

No.

Hi, Mrs Hicks.

Kia ora, Tova.

We have a problem.

How can Jess cause so much trouble when she's not even here?

Kia ora, Tere.

Star lady. You're banned from booking things.

She told me you would say that.

You look a little overwhelmed, Jess.

No, just the right level of whelmed.

I'm also banning you from helping any and all school -related groups.

Did you figure out what your committee does yet?

No, but the librarian knows, and she's hosting something weird at lunchtime,

so... I bet she mentions Napier in the first five seconds.

She's a little obsessed.

Good luck. Thanks.

Yeah, I guess I'll just carry on and hope for the best.

I'm a Leo, after all.

Confident. determined eager to play your desperate need to be liked is

ironically deeply unlikable let's go here oh sorry let's go hear

that i'm from the

rtd initiative i'm sorry i'm just updating my facebook page the comments

navy of photos are kind of viraling right now

So, what's your take on the RTD manifesto?

Oh, probably the same as yours. I am for it. Same. Does that mean you know what

this committee is about?

I do not.

But they are bringing a tarp inside.

That's weird, right?

Mega weird. And I visited the decommissioned Napier prison and had a

me on the shoulder.

Well, I need to find out what Tristan's mum and Sarah's dad are up to without

actually asking.

Are they on Facebook?

Parents love showing off on social media. I just use it to post black and

pics of Tanya of the Reef.

I could look up their names for you.

Oh, please.

I don't know their first names.

Or their last names.

I should call them Tristan's mum and Sarah's dad.

How long have you known them?

Going on three years.

You should probably learn their names.

on my to -do list after I find out what the RDD initiative is and never

volunteer for another school thing ever again. Thank you, library lady.

Was Jess in charge of booking the telescope to see the Masarikis tonight?

Aye.

I'm starting to think she's a liability.

Jess helps a lot around the school.

Helps? Well, let me rephrase that. Jess puts a lot of enthusiasm towards a lot

of school groups.

You don't know anyone with a telescope, do you, Hine?

I might know a mum that knows a guy.

Do you know everybody?

No. Tēnā koe, Whaea Hine.

Tēnā koe, Sarah.

Say kia ora to your mum for me.

Ka kite.

Ka kite.

Are we still on for lunchtime?

Everything is prepared.

Excellent. What are you guys doing at lunchtime?

Nothing.

But you said, I was still on for lunchtime. Then you said, everything is

prepared. Then you said, excellent.

We're doing a play for assembly.

Cool. I can't wait to see it.

Does this mean we have to do a skit for assembly?

Yes.

Cool. Can't wait to see it.

Kia ora, Hina speaking.

Hey, hey, listen, I really need to... This is my voicemail. Please leave a

message after the beep.

I hate your voicemail.

Hey, listen, I really need to know what Tristan's mum and Sarah's dad's birth

names are. Text me ASAP. Also, is it true that if you mirror people's body

language, they like you more?

Okay, bye.

I don't know their names, Jess.

I'm focused on Hine's Matariki prep, which is unsurprisingly ahead of

since she's channeling me.

I want to say Tessa and Sam.

No, that doesn't sound right.

Did you find out what the RTD initiative stands for? Not yet, but I will.

Somehow.

I've definitely heard of it. It's either super amazing or super dodgy. Super

helpful. Okay, well just tell Hine to take me, okay?

Once she's finished her firm phone call, you're so really...

Kia ora for that.

That's the tarp sorted.

Now we just need the water.

Are we building an indoor slip and slide?

You're so funny, Judy.

And so nice volunteering.

Some people are afraid or allergic.

Hey, you're an artist, right?

Follow you on Instagram.

Oh, what are your guys' accounts?

Sarah's dad rules. One word.

Tristan's mom, 11.

Could you make us some name tags?

We don't want people getting confused with the RPD and you have such artistic

handwriting.

Oh, wow.

Hello, my name is... What my name is.

My name is...

How do you spell your guys' names again?

The usual way. Yeah, same.

You're the best, Jess.

Okay, I just need to be brutally honest here.

I didn't think that was your thing. It really isn't. It's just... I don't know

what I'm doing here.

You guys?

I don't know what I'm doing half the time. Me either.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, I really, I don't know what this committee

does. I just joined because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. And now I

realize that that has backfired spectacularly.

That's okay.

I like that you're on it.

Really?

Oh, thank goodness.

I mean, I have no idea what we're doing either.

I only came here to drop off Sarah's permission slip for the Tupperware

tournament. And then I felt bad that no one joined your committee.

Okay.

Now, can you please tell us what the RTD initiative is?

Gladly.

Yes, it doesn't have all the bells and whistles like an Astron 3000, but it's

still got a hell of an aperture.

And being a compact catadoptric, I mean, you've got the best of both worlds.

So, yes, simple to use.

Even people who might not understand stuff could have a go.

And, yeah, I think it's a great piece of kit.

Enjoy.

Kia ora.

Say my loyally lei to your mum for me. Kia ora. I will. And you have a happy

Year, Hine. Okay, bye. Kia ora.

The other one.

Your Matariki disco is going to be a huge success, Hine.

Look, Heather, I'm going to be a bit of a Heather right now.

It's not my Matariki disco, it's our disco, you know?

Like, as much as I love you being an ally, it would be great if we could be a

participant.

Because, like, Matariki can benefit us all. So how about we call it our disco?

You said you were going to be a heather, but that was definitely some Henestar

wisdom right there.

Sorry, I can be so relentlessly Pākehā at times. I'm a work in progress.

Your support is really appreciated.

So, the decorations are up and we have our astronomer and our telescope.

And our excellent husbands as bilingual DJs. We're quite the dynamic duo.

Oh no.

You realise Heath isn't bilingual, only Bob is? No.

You realise kids don't dance at school dances?

No. You realise things are a little easier without Jess? It's worse.

I've remembered where I know the RCD initiative from. It stands for Radical

Teacher Dynamic, and it has been proven to hinder rather than help children

learn. They've got one in Byron Bay.

We need to go and tell the principal.

That is just what I was about to say.

You know, the initiative seems counterintuitive at first, but when you

about it, it's kind of so long it's right.

I know.

We must ensure everyone is aware of this life -changing, but radical...

approach to learning i will tell my good friend tova to put it on the home page

of the school website oh and then i've got to get back to my fundraising gang

they're going to be so lost about me mr cockpit oh

something diabolical is about to happen what is this meeting and why wasn't

either invited oh that is very me we're planning a surprise party for margot's

birthday And you didn't think to invite the woman that caters cupcake parties

for a part -time living?

It's a secret.

I have reminded them numerous times that she hates both surprises and birthdays.

No, no, no, no. All women love people knowing how old they are. It's a fact.

I suggested we do a cake in the shape of a rock. The rock.

There is a terrible thing happening in the library.

Is it to do with Napier? No, but if word gets out, it will be a huge

embarrassment to the entire school.

And it's not entirely Judith's fault.

We think.

Who's Jess?

I'm going to post this to my tens of supporters.

Hashtag 100 % RTD initiative supporter.

Oh. Stop.

Collaborate and listen.

You're on a weird committee, Jess.

But I support them 100 % on social media.

RTD is a cult that encourages unqualified teachers, gender inequality

possible flat earth conspiracies and maybe no homework.

No, it's not.

As you were.

It's a program for reluctant readers.

Kids read one -on -one to a trained dog who doesn't judge them on their skill

level. It's been known to increase reading confidence and empathy.

I'm really annoyed I didn't think of that first.

Well, Trinity and Sebastian are doing admirable work, ain't you?

Hey, say kia ora to your mum for me.

Um, Bob told me about the amazing news.

Congratulations.

I think it's really sweet that you're organising a surprise party for Margot.

Do you want to help?

Yeah. No.

Heather said that it would be better that I didn't use up her precious

fundraising time on other projects in the future.

But I could chat about it outside of school. Like, in my own time.

Like, over a coffee? Or a movie.

There's the Lou Diamond Phillips Festival on. I love him. I love him.

Who?

You ladies didn't pick up Ryan's library book, did you?

Did you, Lou? Did you?

We've got to find George and the Great Bunch and pee.

Is it locked? It's due today.

This is serious.

My son needs library privileges for the read -a -thon so that he doesn't miss

out on the intangible value of reading.

Well, that doesn't sound very serious.

Yeah, well, you're not a mum.