Original subtitles

What do you know about skip -a -thons, Tina?

Everything.

Never stop being my friend.

What do you know, fellow school fundraisers?

Why don't you have crazy hair for crazy hair day?

Crazy hair day tomorrow.

Are you sure?

Today's school photo day.

No.

That's a strong look, Ryan.

My mum did it.

Yeah.

I've met her.

He'll be okay to have blue hair in his school photos, right?

It'll be easy to spot.

It's class and individual photos, Jess. So?

Those individual photos are for mums to show off with. That's why they charge us

so much.

They know we need high -res, well -lit content for social media.

Or for the kids that are on the carbon covers when they get older.

Cinnamon's been practising smiling naturally all week since it will be her

-school profile picture in this increasingly online educational

Remind me to talk to Mr Coxhead about screen time.

Will do.

So other kids will be seeing these photos?

They won't tease him about having crazy hair in them though, right?

Maybe. That's why Braxton's not dressed up.

But he's always wearing costumes.

Actually, he is dressed up as a school kid.

More specifically, Ryan.

Oh. He's happy, and I'm happy he's photo ready.

I might just go fix Ryan's hair real quick.

Is photo day going smoothly? We're already running late.

The chess club got bored of waiting.

Dismantle the gate and use the planks as swords.

They were literally fencing with fencing.

Okay, next.

Why is this new photographer taking so long?

All right, chuckles, give us a big smile.

Whoa, no, no, no, no, not that big. Can you maybe do half of that?

Oh, even less than that?

Okay, how about almost imperceptible?

Can you do it less weird?

Hmm?

Okay, I guess that's a no.

Nick! And that's why we went to Ibiza.

It's called Ibiza, not Ibiza.

Weird.

Hello? Hi, can I just pop in for a second?

Ah, because Ryan's had an extreme rebrand for photo day. Yeah, I'm just a

concerned that he's... Sorry, a bit louder?

Bullied for his photo.

Oh. Sorry, I don't think parents are allowed in the classroom.

You're new to texting, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I perverted after COVID. I used to be in marketing and customer interface

advertising. Oh, yeah, cool. Parents can totally pop in.

Oh, cool. Okay, well, I was just about to serve up some snackable educational

content, but yeah, sure, pop in.

Morning, Jeff.

Morning, Braxton.

I didn't even recognise you without a costume.

I do have a costume. I'm Ryan.

You're Ryan?

Hi, Jess.

What in the cinnamon?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, I'm just going to pop out with a rye for one minute. Is popping out

allowed? Yeah.

No? Yes, if he wants me to fix his hair.

But he likes his hair. Yeah, but some other people might have some strong

opinions about that.

Off topic, maybe we get some cheap takeaways for dinner.

Really? Yeah.

Fine.

Made you some fractions.

A little maths joke there. Free of charge.

Fractions.

I get it.

Vince, can you come to the hall for your staff ID photo, please?

Vince, get to the hall for your staff ID photo, please.

Here, kid.

Finish off the tops.

Careful not to lose a finger.

Fingers crossed.

Brian's here and they get a fit.

Well, Jess did it, so the chances are it's shoddy and easy to dismantle.

Did you find out why she and Constable Chris broke up?

No, she didn't want to talk about it. Well, I want to hear about it.

All I know is she's single and ready to mingle.

That is an unpleasant phrase.

Yeah, a little bit gross saying it. Could the eco -warriors please go to the

hall for their photo?

And don't run.

Except for Janaye, who's training for inter -school athletics.

You can run for your life, sweetheart.

We should have a fundraiser's photo.

We should have a fundraiser's photo.

Why aren't we having a fundraiser's photo?

Oh, because we're not students or staff.

We are valuable members of the school community.

But I could use it for my blog. Heather puts the fun back in fundraisers .co .nz

backslash gallery.

ringing Margot?

She runs the office of the school that I pay fees for. Technically she works for

me. That is a bold stance.

Who can play at that game Margot?

Let's go see her face to face.

What about organising a skip -a -thon?

Fun as that may sound, Jenny, we need to go to the office first.

I don't say this lightly, but our photo is more important than a skip -a -thon.

Volunteer mums have gone unnoticed for too long.

Plus, I'm having a great hair day for a free headshot.

I don't have a lot of good photos of me.

I'm the final photographer, so I'm not usually in them.

My last good photo was my wedding day.

You don't take selfies?

No, short arms. They haven't really got the reach. I'm kind of like a T -Rex.

Oh. Well, let's get me us a flattering high -res photo.

And we can see because the kids are still tidy on the way back.

Yes, maybe they might know why Jess and Constable Chris broke up.

Hiya!

Hiya!

Hiya!

Are you new?

Do I look new?

Where's the old caretaker?

All right. Smile!

Get what you're given.

Great.

Lovely. Next.

Wow, that new caretaker really improved the water pressure.

But I feel like you look better.

I liked my hair. Now I'm damp, dry, and dripping.

Hey, good alliteration. Mr. Le Petit says vocabulary is my superpower.

Oh, well, you might dry off by photo time.

I'm the greatest mum in the world.

The greatest. On your first day of school, I packed an emergency outfit and

has been at the bottom of your bag ever since because I have forgotten about it

until now.

Stay strong.

My pleasure, my treasure.

We really need to clear out your bag this weekend, eh?

Okay.

Okay. Bye, Felicia.

Bye.

I'd like to sign this up for a photo. No.

Fundraising mums deserve a photo.

No. Instead of us always being the ones taking them. Come on, Margot, help us

this time. Sorry, Hannah, it's up and students only.

We work very hard. Do you still want those forms sent home for your

Yes, thank you, Margot. That would be very helpful.

This photo business is not over.

Sounds like it is.

Oh, it definitely is.

Callum, Margot.

Oh, I probably should have updated your outfit now that you're seven.

I can't wear this for the school photo.

You're right at the mean waiting to happen.

The shorts are good, though, yeah?

I'll take that as a no.

How about we rush home and both get a change of clothes?

Room 1 to the wall for photos.

Room 3 is going to be cold soon. Do we have time to go home?

Not very good with time, guess it. Okay.

How about we ask Margot to put your clothes in the new school dryer?

Yes! Yes.

I could go directly to the photographer and demand he take a fundraiser's photo.

It's a crime that you don't have a decent recent photo, Henny.

Well, it would be nice to update my social media with something other than

boys constantly winning academic and sporting accolades.

Oh, your Instagram's not all your boys. Look, there's one of you going to a

dress -up party as elderly Sam Neill in Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

I'm not dressed up.

That's just me going eeling early in the morning on a very unflattering night.

Oh.

You know, I wouldn't mind having one nice one.

You know, I'm going to get that photo.

We deserve it.

I'll go spruce myself up. You look fine.

I can do way better than fine.

Alright, giraffe, give us a smile.

I'm not that tall.

Oh, no, no, no. Hilarious nicknames are like the hallmark of every great school

photographer.

I don't think you know what hilarious means.

Next.

You don't know what hilarious means.

Nice blow -dry, kid.

Thank you.

Tawhirimatia. Margot Ryan.

Margot, my best friend. Could you please put these in the new school dryer in

the fastest, highest setting?

Do I want to know what happened? Well, I'm protecting...

Morning, Ryan.

Your hair looks great.

Clothes are in the dryer. It's jibber -jibber high.

Is Mr. Cox here, then?

Is that Heather Woman's fundraiser's photo? We're getting a photo.

No. Maybe.

You owe me a favour for finding those lost Orient Syrian compasses. Fine.

But you might still say no, you know. We'll see.

There's no Picasso, Albert, but...

Can I pop in for a sec? It's a mum emergency.

Ooh, I've already had a mum pop in. I'm pretty sure I'm only allowed one per

day. You're new to teaching, correct?

Yeah, I pivoted after COVID.

Mums are allowed to do whatever they want.

Braxton Hicks.

Step away from the dress -up. Cinnamon to Cinder Maloney. Put down the non

-water -based paint.

And smile.

I am smiling.

Are you sure?

Yes, my cheeks are okay.

Now hurry up. I can't hold it for much longer.

I guess that's a keeper. All right, next.

Whoa! Hey, where was that?

You're making me look like an idiot here.

We only have the photographer for a limited amount of time.

Here there will be whole hearts. You'll retaliate.

That's a price I'm willing to pay, unlike the photographer's overtime,

surprisingly steep, considering he only photographs real estate.

Jess will be disappointed.

Does she want to give a photo to Comfortable Crip?

Well, I don't know what happened there, but they're not together.

You can have the photo, but you have to lead the whole school assembly for Māori

Language Week.

Just the waiata? Three waiata, the karanga, and the closing karakia. Two

the closing karakia, and I'll get the boy's uncle wet at the teak kaka.

Deal.

Also... Heather wants to talk to you about screen time and classroom.

Of course.

Fundraiser's photo approved.

How did you do?

Being Maori is my superpower.

I think the highest reading may have shrunk it slightly.

Damn, the fundraising for such a powerful new dryer.

Room two, get to the wall, please, for individual and class photos.

I'm sure he's going to be cold next month.

Hey, um, lost property.

Get outside the resource room to make it easier to tell if Lita is.

My girl.

Is that what you're wearing for your photo?

No.

So it looks like a plain white hoodie, but it is actually the top half of the

Kate Sheepherd mascot costume.

Marco says he can't even tell.

Not unless he looked directly at it.

Yeah.

Where's Heather?

Painstakingly applying the no makeup look.

Where's Ryan? I am letting him choose his outfit.

My mum never let me choose my clothes. I was like, why can't I wear this dress

over my jeans? She'd be like, because I said so.

Show them that I trust him.

Plus, it can't be any worse than what he was already wearing.

I stand corrected.

You said I could choose my own clothes, but... I thought you would choose what I

wanted you to wear, sweet, colored, blind son of mine.

Is that what you're wearing, Jess?

That's how my mother says all our social interactions.

You look natural.

Do you want me to do your makeup, you mean?

Oh, no thanks. I'm allergic to other people doing my make -up. As long as I

a good photo, I'm happy.

Well, kid, I said you could choose your outfit, so let's get you back to class

and go slow.

I need to formulate another plan.

Nothing. Oh, and when you get back, you can tell us what happened with Cece.

That's a strong take, Ryan.

And Ryan's mum.

I still have time to find you something less polarising to wear. Thanks, Mum.

I'm cool.

Cool's a bit of a stretch, but I think it's an improvement.

Feels like a lateral move.

You wanted him to be less bullied, right?

Popping in again, are we?

Sorry.

Sorry, kid. No hats in class.

Mr Levitique said that you probably didn't hear because you had your hat on.

I think if we black and white the photo, we can still get away with that top.

What happened to your mustache, other arm? My mum made me clean it off.

Mum, you're so judgmental. Hey, I'm not judgmental. Super chill.

Unlike some school photo lookers who can be very mean.

No,

it's just that my mum's hair net is scratchy.

Well, Cinnamon, I trust you will come up with a solution for your problem.

Just like how I will find a mum remedy to bully -proof my child.

Yes. Yes.

Oh, whoa, whoa, hold up.

Karma just told me that mums aren't ever allowed to pop in.

Yeah, well, karma can be a bit of a pain in the butt.

Oh, my gosh.

That's fine. I've got to go anyway. I've got a super cool skip -a -thon to

organise and a fundraising photo to look completely normal in. Hmm.

Hey, wait a second.

Is she wearing a school sports uniform for the photos?

Yeah.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

Ryan's been voted Mr Lippity's Lit Learner of the Week.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So his new photo's going to be in the school

newsletter ASAP.

Over a thousand parents can read that newsletter.

Yeah.

And it's online.

Yeah. Forever.

Oh. People are going to think Ryan's a weirdo.

Or that he has a good attitude to learning.

I'm on the left. But I want to be on the left, though.

But I want to be camera right. Oi, oi, you guys. We're a little pressed for

time. Can you stop arguing?

We're the debating club. What do you expect?

Fair enough.

Get out.

Go. Can't argue with that. Bye.

Have a good day.

Next.

So Ryan's new photo is not just going to be on the school wide web, it's going

to be on the world wide web.

Cinnamon's wearing a power positive T -shirt, so when future employees Google

her, they'll get nothing but gold.

As long as Braxton looks like Braxton, I don't mind.

Though he is dressed as Ryan.

I have a plan. He's going to wear a school sports uniform. He will be un

-bullyable. Is that a word?

It is now.

Now, speaking of why you broke up with Constable Chris... Could Ryan, Braxton

and Cinnamon's mum please go to room three immediately?

Are you busy?

Yeah, flat out.

Time for a cuppa?

I'm away.

There will be no more popping in.

Also, there have been some development.

No, don't worry. I think I've saved the day, clothing -wise.

Problem -solving is my superpower.

Boys.

We're moustache twins.

Problem unsolved. I just wanted one regular photo.

Yeah, they appear to have found a permanent marker.

Ooh, we don't know where from.

You need a sugar scrub to remove that, or olive oil?

Stain removal is my superpower.

There's more.

Did you cut your own fringe?

She's empowered me to do it.

Room three to the hall for class and individual photos.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. People tease them for looking weird.

They look like perfectly happy seven -year -olds to me.

Ryan, I need you to wash your face and put this shirt on.

Why? Because I said so.

I've turned into my mother.

If we let them get their school photos like this, other kids will make fun of

them. Probably.

Cinnamon's fringe is quite fashion -forward.

I could probably tidy it up with my amazing amateur hairdressing skills.

Do you like your hair?

Yes. Mr. Le Petit says I'm more than what I look like.

Hmm. I'll still tidy it up.

Braxton, are you happy with your dad?

My teacher says that it makes me look mature -ass.

God, are we.

My man.

Ryan.

Are you worried that other kids are going to make fun of you for your photo?

Mr. Elfie's boys are just reflecting their own insecurities.

Preach, Ryan.

Mr.

Liptit, you can take them to their photo.

I don't need your permission.

Come on, kids, let's go.

Photo time. Come on, Cinnamon, bring your fringe.

Go, come on.

Quick, quick, quick, let's go, kids.

Cool jumper.

Thank you.

Finally, someone appreciates my style.

Make sure he only looks good. Make sure Heather looks more than good.

Got it.

Oh, okay. So just one more.

A croppable profile pic that screams super chill mumfluencer. Please and

you. Oh, do you have a ring light?

I don't even know what that is.

Okay.

You're done.

The kids looked really cute.

Yeah, they have the unearned confidence of much cooler children.

Speaking of cool kids, why did you break up with Constable Chris?

It's really not that interesting.

I'm going to need more than that.

I'm going to need more than that too.

You keep talking through movies, okay?

You keep pointing out continuity errors and plot holes that got really annoying.

Yeah, I know.

Plus he got transferred to Invercargill, so it just kind of felt like a natural

end.

So I've decided to push pause on romance for this year and focus on Ryan and my

lady friend.

Hi. Hi.

I just wanted to check that you got your photo. Yes, we did.

Thank you.

Don't bother. She's not interested.

Hey, let's have that screen time discussion now. I have a lot of

I am unsurprised.

Do you follow my blog?

Oh.

Ryan didn't get invited to Ava's party.

Ava went to Ryan's party, now that's the rules, right?

Your kid goes to my kid's party, my kid goes to yours.

Is May going to Ava's party? Of course.

Ava came to her party, you know the rules.

Can I leave now? I've got to do something else.

Ava must have decided not to give it to him for some reason.

Maybe he is a complete social media.

He might be.

If it's any consolation, I never went to a lot of parties as a child and I

turned out perfectly fine.