Original subtitles

Right, listen in... Please.

Um, as you know, i'm not one

For making long motivational speeches,

But today is gonna be an exception.

This house has always been our greatest asset,

And now it's gonna have to act like one,

Which is why i want our guests

To feel like this is their home from home.

Okay? Any questions?

Just one.

Uncle donald.

Rob roy, robert the bruce,

Archie gimmel...

Three men with one thing in common—

A sense of pride.

When things were hard, did they falter? No.

Did they decide to turn their homes

Into boarding houses?

No.

And i think we should follow their example.

Oh, molly,

Surely you can't agree with this abomination.

Our home is at stake. I think paul deserves our full cooperation.

Thank you, molly.

Then i walk alone.

Our guests are gonna expect the best.

I want us to give it to them.

- ( car horn honks ) - Right. We're on.

Mrs. Zinchenko, welcome to glenbogle.

It's smaller than i imagined. Much smaller.

Mrs. Zinchenko, paul macdonald.

And my family. We're all here

To make your stay as comfortable as possible.

Well, from what you've told me i would say

That your future depended on it. Wouldn't you?

I hope you don't mind. Viktor absolutely insisted on bringing yuri.

- Mmm. - Yuri is very welcome, too.

Aww. Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty.

- ( growling ) - Maybe he only speaks russian.

Did you know about all this?

Well, i knew he was eccentric.

Here's the deal, molly.

Viktor owns spa hotels all over the world.

If we can prove to him that glenbogle has what it takes

To offer luxury weekends, he's willing to consider a partnership.

Paul needs today to be right.

No slip-Ups.

- No slip-Ups. - Go, go on then.

You hear? It's gonna be a good day.

- Dad, do i have to chase you out? - I'm going, i'm going.

Right. Jacket.

( chuckling ) you were saying something about slip-Ups?

Dad?

No matter how many times you look at it,

It always takes your breath away.

86.2%.

I'm sorry?

The number of new hospitality businesses

That fail in the first year

Is 86.2%.

Think you can beat those odds?

Well, i hope so.

( laughs ) i don't invest my money

In hope, mr. Macdonald.

So, show us to our rooms.

Certainly. Follow me.

Uh, there's definitely no sign of a disc problem.

Looks like a simple case of acute muscular spasm.

- Easy for you to say. - Ah, laughing through the tears.

Take two of these three times a day.

As much gentle movement as you can.

Gentle, mind you. We can't fight mother nature,

However much some of us might like to.

Well, goodbye, cameron.

Wee engineers of chaos,

That's what i always say.

Expensive to run, notoriously unreliable,

And never a word of thanks at the end of it all.

- ( chuckling ) - Goodbye.

- Thanks, doctor. - ( grunts )

- Where do you think you're going? - Work.

Dad, you told me that this weekend is important.

Paul needs a stalker, not a liability.

There we go. Oh yes.

They call it "quality time."

- Who are you phoning? - Someone who would like to help.

You just sit there, all right? I can manage.

You're still upset with me, aren't you?

I just have this thing about honesty.

When i said i was 18, it was for paul's benefit.

After that, things got a little out of hand.

That's one way of looking at it.

So, is zoe talking to you yet?

We don't got a lot of time for talking. Too busy with grown-Up stuff.

Not that i expect a 16-Year-Old kid to understand that.

Funny, because last this kid heard,

She was giving you the silent treatment.

Or is totally ignoring you the adult way of showing affection?

Have you been smoking? They're your lungs.

Hey, did you get all the shopping?

Enough to start a rabbit farm.

Yeah, well, this weekend is all about giving viktor sweet,

And it never pays to upset the missus now, does it?

Just what we were saying.

You know, i'm really looking forward to this.

The whole household pulling together,

Everyone with a specific role.

I'm the cook, donald's the local color,

You're the— remind me,

What is it you do exactly, now that school's out forever?

Yeah, we can't have you hanging around looking untidy.

Any ideas?

- There's always housemaid. - Housemaid? He can't be serious.

Yeah, a bit of hard work never hurt anyone.

And since we're still undecided

About school... Can you show her the ropes?

Believe me, boss, it'd be a pleasure.

How's the hostess with the mostest?

- Are our guests settled in? - Uh, yes.

Well, actually, there has been a tiny change of plan.

- No way. - Tools of the trade.

We cannot forget this.

- You're joking. - It was my mom's.

I dug it out specially. No need to thank me.

Has anybody ever told you how irritating you are?

Thanks for noticing. I'm making a special effort for you.

Zoe should thank me. Seems to me like she had a narrow escape.

That'd be why she agreed to come over tonight.

Thought you'd be pleased.

Today of all days?

I hardly think golly put his back out on purpose.

Beside, jess is quite capable.

Oh, i'm sure you'll muddle through without me.

You know, i expected donald to kick up a fuss,

But i had hoped that you'd be behind me on this.

Golly needs me. I can't just ignore a friend in need.

Which leaves me without a hostess.

Well, i can't expect ewan and amy to run things.

What about donald?

I'll pretend i didn't hear that.

There is someone we haven't thought of.

I wouldn't ask if i wasn't desperate.

Oh, flattery will get you everywhere.

So you'll do it?

Well, what if i mess up?

I'm not a people person, paul. I'm a sheep person.

- Does he have any sheep? - Not exactly.

It'll just be till molly gets back.

It's easy. All you have to do is keep smiling.

How's that?

Perfect.

- Hi. There you go. - Oh!

Thank you so much for this, molly.

All right. I better make a move.

Oh, the big baby is in there.

I can manage by myself.

( chuckles ) oh, really?

From where i'm standing, looks as if i arrived

In the nick of time.

Come in.

Hello there.

I'd like to introduce you to your hostess, iona.

Um, iona will be looking after you today.

If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask her.

I need signal. You don't have signal anywhere.

There's a phone just outside in the hall.

When it's working.

- Well, later. - I see glenbogle as filling a niche.

A real executive retreat.

Think of it as a haven of glorious isolation

- Far away from the daily grind. - Or civilization?

I assume you still have bathrooms?

Oh, 17.

Yours is just though here.

- ( flatulence ) - Oh!

Oh, don't mind me. Carry on.

- ( chuckling ) - Come here!

- What? - Don't think i don't know what you're doing.

This is happening with or without your blessing.

One more trick like that, and you're on your ear.

Son, a scotsman's home is his castle, or vice versa in my case.

It'll take more than idle threats

To dethrone this tartan barnacle.

When i agreed to come, it was on the understanding

That we'd be spending some more time together.

We will, i promise,

But this is business.

Which comes first.

But that does not mean that you don't deserve

A little pleasure. Close your eyes.

Close them, hmm?

Now.

- Viktor... - Anything you want.

Remember that. Anything you want.

You know what i want.

They're waiting for me downstairs.

Yes, we will discuss this later.

Molly, there is really no need for any of this.

This place was an accident waiting to happen.

I will soon have it ship-Shape.

Jess and i can deal with it later. If you would just sit.

Nonsense.

There's something therapeutic about a good clean. Clears the air.

- ( flatulence ) - Uh-Oh.

Once smelt, never forgotten.

Let's see if we've still got the knack.

Ooh, little lamb.

So what's he like?

Don't worry. The hat tells me all i need to know.

- Our stalker. - A woman?

Thank you for noticing.

I suppose she looks fit enough. She knows the hill?

Born and bred in the heather.

Magnificent,

Isn't he?

A 16-Pointer,

- But i don't expect you to count them. - Hmm.

He took some bringing down, i can tell you.

Best part of 1000 yards.

- You shoot this? - Well, it was in my younger days,

But i claim full responsibility.

Hmm, then this is what i will shoot too.

You can arrange?

Well, heads like that are very thin on the ground.

- I don't see why it should be a problem. - Good.

Then that is settled. ( clicks fingers )

We start now.

Sort of gauntlet he's laid down, let's just hope

He's not a poor loser. ( chuckling )

So, you were an astronaut?

Cosmonaut. I flew six missions.

I have several records.

That's all i wanted to be when i was a kid, an astronaut.

- Cosmonaut. - Yeah, right.

No, i used to make rockets out of cardboard boxes.

You know, pile on on top of the other,

And then there was the launch pad.

You would not have been suitable.

Ahem, you know who i always felt sorry for?

That wee dog they sent up there when it was first started.

- What was it called, sputnik? - Laika.

She was soviet hero, proud to go into space.

( chuckles ) not that she had much choice in the matter.

( quietly ) what?

We-We stalk on the land as far as you can see.

100 head in a good year.

What?

You could have killed somebody.

Killed somebody? Who?

There's nobody here!

Is this the way you plan to treat all your guests, hmm?

Just the ones who don't know how to handle a gun.

Look, i think there's been some kind of misunderstanding.

On this estate, we shoot after we've stalked.

Perhaps—

Perhaps i didn't make that clear enough from the start.

Yes, i agree. This was not made clear to me.

So, from now we will do things your way.

You can find me something.

The boiler will be back on at 5:00.

And what am i supposed to do in the meantime?

Well, there's always the loch.

I know this amazing place. No one ever goes there.

Well, almost no one.

You're serious, aren't you?

Unbelievable.

Dare i assume you have a laundry service?

Oh, i'm sure that we can—

Fine. This is going to need washing.

- It's italian cashmere, so— - So...

So be very careful.

Hector was just the same when his back went.

Too much too soon.

And we can't have you getting dehydrated.

Perfect.

Molly, what are you doing?

Personally, i'd say it could do another day or two.

Yours is not to reason why.

- You going somewhere? - Just a couple messages.

I thought we were supposed to be working together.

We are. I tell you what to do and you do it.

You kissed me!

- We all make mistakes. - ( growls )

So how rich is he?

Think wildest dreams, then triple it.

Huh, must be strange

Having that much money.

Enough to buy anything you want.

Or anyone.

Oh, you think i'm enjoying this?

I don't have a choice. We do this,

Or the bank calls in the loans. All of them.

Things have been bad before, paul.

Not like this, believe me.

Read them and weep.

A 16-Pointer.

Maybe our luck's about to change.

Right, sir.

- ( patrons conversing ) - You're all right, hen.

You can stay in my good books...

Unlike certain people i could mention.

How long you gonna keep this up?

How about the rest of my life?

Two of the usual please, zoe.

Look, i wanna make it up to you.

Tonight. Something special.

I'm busy.

- Doing what? - I'll think of something.

What are you doing?

Groveling.

How special?

It's tiny. What am i gonna tell her?

Whoops?

( quietly ) it's about 300 yards.

Might be a slight drop on the shot.

And the wind down there is stronger than you think.

- It's coming across you. - Yes yes yes,

I've done this many times.

( clicks ) complete silence, please.

She moved.

- She moved and made me miss. - I didn't.

I don't miss.

I demand apology.

( chuckles ) if jess said she didn't move—

So now you're calling me liar

- In front of my driver? - No one's calling anyone anything.

Wait. Viktor's right.

My... Elbow slipped as he shot.

- I apologize. - Yeah. Yeah.

I don't miss.

( exhales ) like you said, we need his money,

And right now my pride comes cheap.

Ah,

No ewan?

I was hoping he would rustle up a sandwich or two.

He's gone out.

Ah, well, here's hoping he took my advice.

Oh, the course of true love

Never did run smooth.

What, you think it's true love,

Not just "true like" or "true good friends"?

Well...

It's difficult to say.

But you could always ask him.

I could, but it's not really any of my business.

Right. Right.

Well, i'll get back to my sandwich.

Oh, it's you?

I was just looking around.

Whose room is this?

Oh, one of the gillies has a wee one.

All these beautiful little things

Yeah, i think it's always been a nursery

- For the family. - He's lucky,

That little boy.

- Is it a little boy? - Mmm-Hmm.

- You can leave that in the room. - Actually,

I came to apologize.

It's ruined!

Have you got any idea how much that cost?

Of course, we'll replace it.

Well, from what viktor tells me,

I doubt any of you could afford it.

Oh, just get out.

- Smells good. - Say what you like about me,

I cook a mean steak.

Zoe doesn't know what she's missing.

I'm not stupid.

So did it work, the big apology?

Can i get back to you on that one?

Well, i brought it. Now what?

You won't be disappointed.

Let's hope not, eh?

And...

Love the look.

- More tea? - Golly: molly...

Molly, could you do something for me?

Silly me, i forgot. Time for your pills.

No, not the pills. This. This!

I want you to stop this.

I don't understand.

You're a macdonald.

Cooking and cleaning in my house is just not right.

But jess asked me to—

Yeah, well, she should have checked with me first.

- Are you saying you don't want me here? - No, i'm—

You are welcome in my home any time you want...

( loudly ) but not like this!

I see.

I thought that's what friends did—

Helped each other out.

I see i was wrong.

Hello hello. How is my brave soldier?

I think i should be going.

( crying ) i'm sorry, i'm just so sorry.

Dad?

I ordered dinner in our room.

I thought you quit.

Started again.

Imagine living in a place like this.

One family,

Father and son,

Generation after generation.

I understand what you are asking me for.

Really.

When we married, i promised you

Everything your heart desired.

I never go back on my word.

- You mean it? - Of course.

Can i give you some advice?

Sure.

See, when you get yours done,

Lose the hat.

Hate to side with donald.

Hotel glenbogle— unthinkable.

Well, estates like this

Have always changed to survive.

What if they don't survive?

What do you mean?

Monday is payday.

Golly, jess, ewan.

I haven't got a penny.

Not even close.

Viktor zinchenko is my last throw of dice.

And they don't know, about the money?

Well, surely, if you told them,

Just explained the situation,

They would understand.

I'm their laird.

That makes it my responsibility,

My watch.

Father to son, for generations.

All that was ever asked of me was

To maintain that tradition.

Instead, i'll have to let them all down.

Mmm!

So are you getting in?

Well, i've got my bubbles.

All i need now is my apology.

- Well, i was— - But i've always thought

That actions speak louder than words.

( panting ) you gotta be kidding.

- I'll freeze! - Oh, it'll do wonders for your pores.

Let's get it straight.

I'll go in, and we're back together.

The way it used to be, you and me.

- If that's what you want. - Full privileges.

More than you ever imagined.

Cold?

- Good. - Now do you believe me?

Oh, i believe you all right.

- Doesn't mean i forgive you. - But you just said—

Ewan, i trusted you

And you made me look stupid.

I just wanted you to know how it felt.

- Golly: i told you, i'm fine. - Sometimes i don't think

You use the little brain that you were born with.

I have served the macdonalds for most of my days.

Aye, and things have changed, dad, whether you like it or not.

Molly may be a macdonald, but she's also your oldest friend.

Shut her out now and you'll lose that forever.

If that's what you want, fine.

If not— if i were you,

- I'd do something about it. - Oh!

- ( growling ) - Well, at least it's original.

Most men just get a porsche.

I know i did.

Down the hatch, old son.

The good ship "humiliation..."

( giggles ) and all who sail on it.

- I'm not laughing. - Why not?

It was a magnificent improvisation,

And no woman who wasn't serious

Would have gone to such lengths.

All you have to do is go cap in hand

And robert's your father's brother.

- And what if i don't want to? - Oh, now now,

Churlishness is very unsportsmanlike.

It's not that.

It's just...

I think i like someone else.

Ah. Anyone we know?

Oh, no no no, foolish closure is optional.

The important thing is, we are dealing

With a classic love triangle,

And in that case you must disregard

- All my previous advice. - No problem.

The theory is simple, the execution complex.

The trick, in my experience,

Is to listen to this

And ignore this

Or any other part of the anatomy that springs to mind.

I should have sensed something was wrong.

I've tried to help,

But all i've done is make things worse.

I mean, look at me. I'm not exactly hostess material, am i?

Oh, it's not your fault.

When jess called— well, let's just say,

I didn't need to be asked twice.

Somehow, when things change,

It's easy to just put your head in the sand and leave it there.

- I didn't mean that he— - No, you were right to tell me.

I'm glad paul felt able to confide in you.

Sometimes it's easier

To talk to someone that you're not close to.

Of course. Anyway,

The important thing is, he needs our help.

Oh. Well, what exactly did you have in mind?

Who's this?

The eighth laird of glenbogle.

Tried to form an alliance with the english.

What happened to him?

Well, first he was hung, drawn and quartered,

Then they dragged his body around the estate with wild horses,

And finally they just fed him to the wolves.

Charming.

He wasn't a very nice man.

I knew they were here somewhere!

If they want the best,

Then the best they are going to get.

I have made my position perfectly clear.

No self-Respecting macdonald

Would stoop to such a thing!

Even if it means proving yourself indispensable?

Indispensable?

It occurs to me that any new business partner

Is going to want to make changes,

Cut out the dead wood, as they say,

Which is why i thought you'd jump at the chance to help,

Considering the likely alternatives.

Alternatives?

I found this in paul's office.

He wouldn't dare!

Are you prepared to risk it?

- Tell me i'm dreaming. - Believe me,

From where i'm standing, it looks more like a nightmare.

Milk and sugar?

They did this?

Oh, it's ruined.

What are you doing?

I thought i might keep it.

Oh, you're crazy.

- ( knocks on door ) - Yes, come in.

Your morning paper, sir.

It's warm.

I took the liberty of ironing it.

Your breakfast awaits you, sir.

Oh, thank you.

Madam.

No grapefruit. Take away.

If you'd care to order, sir?

So what do you think?

I'm stunned.

I was talking about your staff.

Yeah yeah, of course.

- How did you— - Well, it's amazing

What happens when you ask for a little help.

You got something you wanna tell me?

Oh, i get it. Is your male pride a bit bruised?

Well, if i don't help you out.

Let's see... You made a mistake,

Didn't know when you had a good thing going,

But now you've seen the error of your ways...

And you'd like things to go back to how they were.

How did i do?

I do like you.

That's all.

I don't think it'd be right if we carried on.

Oh, i get it. Funny.

Consider me got. 15-All.

I'm sorry.

I need to get back to work.

Do you remember when archie couldn't sleep?

Hector used to have to drive him

- Around the estate. - Yeah.

Round and round the loch, until the wee fellow drifted off.

When i'd come down in the morning there they'd both be,

Dead to the world.

It's funny what sticks in your mind.

You must miss meg.

Why do i always say the most obvious things

At times like this? Of course you miss her.

Yes.

Yes, i miss her.

But i've missed you, too, molly.

Nothing ever stays the same.

People leave us to muddle on.

And we still make a mess of things.

Yesterday,

That look in your eyes, it really hurt me.

You know i would never do that.

Listen, molly, maybe—

Maybe now is the time for us

To forget what we are,

And remember what we have.

I'd like that.

Friends?

Of course.

So,

Now we've got that settled,

Do you think you could play the family retainer one more time?

Oh. Oh, yes, i like this.

This is wonderful.

- ( music stops ) - Oh, bravo.

I would like to make a toast.

To the future of hotel glenbogle.

And to all those that made it possible.

Can you get a move on? We're supposed to be rushing for the russians.

Just needs the piece of resistance.

Amy, i just wanted to tell you

- That zoe and me... - Are back together.

I know. I saw the way you were with her last night.

- It's not like that. - Look,

I've been thinking about what i did,

Letting you think that i was, you know, older.

It was pretty childish, really, if you see what i mean.

- Look, i— - Look, what i'm trying to say is,

It'd be a lot more fun if the two of us were friends.

- Don't you think? - Friends?

Yeah. You know, mates, buddies.

Game of pool, shoot the breeze,

Watch the footy?

Actually, i draw the line at the footy.

So how about it?

Friends?

Sure.

Great. Well, hungry mouths to feed.

( whispers ) what do you think?

Eating out of our hands.

- ( dings ) - Mr. Macdonald,

I would like to thank you

For your hospitality.

Yesterday i asked you if you thought

You had what it took to be successful businessman.

What i have seen today has finally convinced me.

Your home is ramshackle

And old-Fashioned. Your staff are amateurish,

And your control over them seems tenuous at best.

However, i am prepared

To make you an offer.

No partnership, just my cash

For your house.

Sorry, wait a minute.

This weekend was about investment. Your money in my business.

For me to invest my money in such a venture

Would be complete madness.

- I want you out of my house. - Mmm.

At least take a look at what i am offering you.

What are you doing?

Giving you what i promised,

What we agreed on.

You think

I want their home?

Oh. Wee instruments of torture.

I don't know how you can stand it.

How did you know i was here?

It's a lucky guess.

You know, viktor's looking for you.

I thought a man who'd been into space

Could take me anywhere.

And it was true.

Viktor has given me

Everything my heart desired—

Travel, clothes,

Everything.

Except a baby.

Yesterday i really thought he understood.

That he...

Loved me enough.

Now i know i was wrong.

I'll be there in a minute.

Oh.

Ai-Ai-Ai-Ai.

Ooh.

Indomitable spirit, that's what today was about.

I said we'd muddle through,

But we all went one better.

Even if it wasn't enough?

All the more reason.

Some choice.

- Either way, we lose. - No.

Better a sheep than a lamb, surely.

( panting ) it's yuri. He's gone.

If you've come to apologize—

- ( mrs. Zinchenko screams ) - Catriona!

Don't move.

Shoot it.

I think it's jammed.

( whispers ) come on.

Nearly there. Come on.

Shh.

What are you doing?

No, donald, no.

( whispering ) who's a lovely cat?

Oompah-Pah,

Oompah-Pah.

Oompah-Pah, oompah-Pah,

Oompah-Pah, oompah-Pah.

You're a lovely little cat.

Who's a lovely little cat?

( whispering ) that was amazing.

Ah, it's just a little trick

I've picked up from some old swahili lion whisperer.

I can make him roll over if you want.

No.

How is she?

Recovering. ( sighs )

Thank you for what you did.

Oh, that was nothing.

No, it was me who did nothing.

My wife wants a child.

And you don't?

I tell her i like my life too much—

The money, the travel— but it's not true.

The truth— i was married before.

We had a child together, tanya.

My ex-Wife took her, along with a few million.

She used me to get baby she wanted,

And i swore i would never make same mistake again.

All i ever wanted was trophy wife.

Is that too much to ask for, hmm?

You haven't told catriona all this, have you?

( laughs ) i can see that you have never married.

I hoped that the money, the gifts

Would be enough to keep her happy.

You see, mr. Macdonald,

You should never invest your money in hope.

Perhaps your wife deserves a chance.

To break my heart, hmm?

You love her?

( exhales ) yes, i love her.

Then the way i see it, whatever you choose, it's still a gamble.

But better a sheep than a lamb, surely.

Lamb, sheep?

What—

No macdonald would ever willingly sell this house to you or anyone else.

Looks like we'll have to take our chances.

- Hmm. - Maybe you should do the same thing, viktor.

- I can't talk to you right now. - Please,

Just listen to me.

There's something i want to tell you.

Her name is tanya.

She's six years old,

But now she would be 20.

She's my daughter.

I wish that i had told you.

What is that?

( chuckles ) it's panther dung.

Foxes can't stand it.

They may have a point.

Suited you, you know, the scrubbed-Up look.

If you ever tire of all this—

Oh no, no way. I'm a sheep person, remember?

Love me, love my wellies.

I'll bear that in mind.

So, are they still in the room?

Busy making a little cosmonaut.

( chuckles ) look at you— you're a hotel owner,

Lion tamer, and now marriage guidance.

If it's all right with you, i think i'll stick to being a laird.

Oh, it must be awful for you.

Still,

Seeing that you're here.

- Friends? - The ultimate deal killer.

Yes, i once had a friend who was a woman.

- What happened? - We got married.

Oh, it was a very brief affair.

36 hours, if i remember correctly.

( laughs ) the worst day and a half of my life.

Is this more advice or just a random trip down memory lane?

Oh, i never give advice. Useless.

A wise man doesn't need it, and a fool won't take it.

Remind me to never talk to you again.

What will you do with him?

- A local zoo have agreed to take him. - Pity.

I was getting so attached, i was considering adoption.

- Then think again. - ( laughs )

Thank you.

So, for three nights

Plus tip, hmm?

For you.

No no no, viktor, i can't accept this.

A small price to pay for second chance.

But you are proud man,

Cossack blood, i think, eh?

So you do what you want with it.

A word of advice—

No cossack ever became hotelier.

Cosmonaut, maybe.

So how much did he give you?

Well, let's just say we live to fight another day.

- ( car horn honks ) - More guests?

Actually, i was thinking of a safari park.