Original subtitles

Donald's voice: "DEAREST MOLLY,

GREETINGS FROM THE HIGHLANDS.

I TRUST THIS LETTER FINDS YOU IN GOOD HEALTH.

LIFE HERE IS, AS EVER,

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY.

BUT WHAT OF THE REST OF THE FAMILY?

WELL, OUR YOUNG LAIRD IS CAPABLE ENOUGH, OBVIOUSLY,

- BUT HE SEEMS A TOUCH PREOCCUPIED—" - ( groans, thuds )

"WHICH I SUPPOSE IS AN INEVITABLE CONSEQUENCE OF BACHELORHOOD

AT HIS AGE, IF NOT AT MINE." ( chuckles )

"INDEED, I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL SOMETHING OF AN ELDER STATESMAN AT GLENBOGLE,

WHAT WITH YOUR GOOD SELF OTHERWISE ENGAGED IN THE ANTIPODES

AND THE GHILLIE AND HIS LADY-FRIEND

OFF EXPLORING THE FLESHPOTS OF THE WEST COAST— SUCH AS THEY ARE.

AS THE SAYING GOES,

'THE RAVENS HAVE LEFT THE TOWER.'

NATURALLY, YOUNG JESS IS COPING MANFULLY

WITH THE DAY-TO-DAY BUSINESS OF THE ESTATE.

BUT I'M SURE SHE'S RELIEVED TO HAVE AN EXPERIENCED PRESENCE ON HAND

SHOULD ANY PROBLEM ARISE.

TO DATE, HOWEVER, I AM HAPPY TO REPORT

THAT ALL IS WELL."

POACHERS.

WELL, WE'VE ALWAYS HAD POACHERS.

YOU KNOW, MAINLY LOCALS.

WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT PINCHING A GROUSE FOR THE FAMILY POT.

THESE ARE ORGANIZED GANGS.

THEY GO FOR A DEER— FLOG IT TO MEAT TRADERS AND RESTAURANTS.

HOW MANY ANIMALS HAVE WE LOST?

THERE WERE ENTRAILS IN THREE DIFFERENT PLACES ABOUT A MILE APART.

- ENTRAILS? - THEY GUT THEM ON THE SPOT.

CAN YOU HANDLE THIS, JESS?

( chuckles ) YOU SOUND LIKE MY DAD.

- NO, NO. THIS IS SERIOUS. - I KNOW IT IS.

- AND I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. - YOU SURE?

YES, I'M SURE.

- Golly: NOT BAD, EH? - IT'S FANTASTIC.

- I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ALL AROUND THE WORLD— - YEAH, I HAVE.

SO NOW WHEN I GO SOMEWHERE,

I CAN TELL INSTANTLY IF I'M GONNA LIKE IT.

AND YOU LIKE IT HERE?

LOVE IT.

NOW COME ON. ENOUGH TALKING.

- GET 'EM OFF. - I BEG YOUR PARDON?

- HAVE A BIT OF A PADDLE. - OH, RIGHT.

I WAS NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE GO SKINNY-DIPPING.

- DEARIE ME, NO. - BECAUSE WE NEED TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER DARK FOR THAT.

A LITTLE SNACK. ( chuckles )

DON'T COME RUNNING TO ME, WHEN YOU GET GOUT.

IF I GET GOUT, I WON'T BE RUNNING ANYWHERE, WILL I?

I'M GONNA NEED SOME OF THAT, EWAN.

HOW COME YOU'VE ALL GOT HOLLOW LEGS SUDDENLY?

I NEED LUNCH TO GO— QUICK AS YOU CAN, OKAY?

- WHAT'S THE BIG EMERGENCY? - SOMEONE'S BEEN POACHING.

- NO WAY! - BOY, TO THE GUN RACK!

MY BROTHER HECTOR KEPT A PARTICULARLY TRUSTY SHOTGUN

- FOR JUST SUCH OCCASIONS. - YOU CAN'T JUST GO BLAZING AWAY AT PEOPLE.

( growls ) I DON'T CONSIDER THESE LOWLIFES AS PEOPLE!

- DONALD? - YES?

WITH MY DAD AWAY,

THIS IS MY RESPONSIBILITY

AND I AM GOING TO DEAL WITH IT. UNDERSTOOD?

I SAID, "UNDERSTOOD?"

- UNDERSTOOD. - GOOD.

HOW MUCH?

I SAID I WANTED THE WASHING MACHINE FIXED, NOT GOLD-PLATED.

FINE, SEND ME THE BILL, BUT TRY KEEPING IT TO ONE PAGE, ALL RIGHT?

- HIYA, DELIA. - HIYA.

- IF YOU'RE BUSY, I CAN COME BACK. - NO, COME IN.

MMM, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD.

CAN I TRY A BIT?

IT'S NOT QUITE READY.

MMM.

- OH, THAT'S DELICIOUS. - MY GRAN'S SPECIAL RECIPE.

THAT'S GORGEOUS.

I MEAN... TASTY.

YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT SELLING IT.

YOUR FAMILY RECIPE— GLENBOGLE NAME ON THE JAR.

LOADS OF PLACES DO THAT KIND OF THING.

NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

WELL, LUCKY FOR YOU, I CAN BE THE BRAINS OF THE OPERATION.

AND A BIT OF EXTRA MONEY COMING IN NEVER HURTS, DOES IT?

SO MANY FARMS FAIL THESE DAYS.

ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M A FAILURE?

NO, BUT YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY STRUGGLING.

NOW, I KNOW I'M BEHIND WITH THE RENT, BUT JUST BY A MONTH.

TWO, ACTUALLY, BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

- ( bowl clanks ) - TELL YOU WHAT,

LET ME WRITE YOU A CHECK.

ISOBEL, I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY.

- WHY NOT? - NO, I-I MEAN WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT.

- YOU'RE NOT JUST ANY TENANT, ARE YOU? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

- YOU WERE THERE AS WELL. - AND?

AND THAT CHANGES THINGS BETWEEN US...

- DOESN'T IT? - SO ONE LITTLE KISS

AND I DON'T NEED TO PAY YOU RENT ANYMORE?

IT WAS MORE THAN A LITTLE KISS.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO— TAKE PAYMENT IN KIND?

"HEY, LUV, I DON'T NEED YOUR BRASS.

WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT," NUDGE, NUDGE. AFTER ONE LITTLE KISS?

WELL, I'LL MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN THEN— LUV.

"REWARD"?

EXACTLY WHAT SORT OF FIGURES ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

YOU'RE NOT GETTING INVOLVED, REMEMBER?

NO, BUT I DO TAKE THE OCCASIONAL CONSTITUTIONAL IN THE GROUNDS,

- AND IF I WERE TO COME ACROSS SOME EVIDENCE... - NO, DONALD.

OR EVEN ACCIDENTALLY BUMP INTO THE GANG AND GIVE THEM A BIT OF A HIDING.

NO, DONALD, THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.

BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL?

( sighs ) NO,

- BECAUSE THERE ARE LAWS. - AH.

- WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO USE FORCE. - IT'S A WORLD GONE MAD.

WE READY TO GO?

WE? I THOUGHT I WAS HANDLING THIS.

YOU ARE, BUT I'M COMING WITH. I'M IN THE MOOD FOR A RUCK.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD TELL THE LAIRD ABOUT YOUR "SOFTLY, SOFTLY" APPROACH.

( dryly ) THANK YOU.

"ANTI-POACHER SHELLS...

OF HECTOR MacDONALD."

YES.

I THINK THEY MIGHT HAVE HEARD YOU BY NOW.

NOT IF THEY'RE ANYTHING LIKE THE LAST LOT. SHE WAS AS DEAF AS A—

- POST. - TELL ME YOU'RE HERE TO INSTALL THE SATELLITE DISH.

- UH, NO. - JACUZZI, THEN?

THAT DOES SOUND TEMPTING, BUT—

- WE'RE ACTUALLY FROM GLENBOGLE, - ( truck doors close )

THE ESTATE THAT BACKS ONTO THIS ONE.

OH, RIGHT AND THIS IS YOU BEING NEIGHBORLY.

THAT'S VERY KIND. THANKS, BOYS!

SADLY, THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT.

THERE'S BEEN SOME POACHING GOING ON IN THE AREA.

REALLY? HERE OR JUST OVER AT GLEN-WHATS-IT?

THAT'S WHAT WE NEED TO FIND OUT.

I'M THE ACTING GHILLIE AND THIS IS—

IN THAT CASE YOU NEED TO TALK TO STUART.

HE'S THE GAMEKEEPER. HE'LL KNOW MUCH MORE ABOUT IT THAN I DO.

THE SALE WENT THROUGH LAST WEEK AND TO BE HONEST,

IT'S BEEN A BIT OF A RUSH EVEN GETTING THE BASICS SORTED OUT.

IT MUST BE HELL WITHOUT A SATELLITE DISH.

I'M SURVIVING, BUT ONLY JUST.

LOOK, SPEAK TO STUART AND IF IT NEEDS TO GO TO A HIGHER LEVEL,

HAVE YOUR LAIRD CALL ME, LUCY FORD.

- I'M PAUL. I AM THE— - LOVELY TO MEET YOU,

BUT I REALLY DO HAVE TO GET ON.

SO DO YOU KNOW THIS STUART BLOKE? ANY USE?

YEAH, HIS DAD WAS A GHILLIE TOO.

- MATE OF MY DAD'S. - Man: HELLO THERE.

GOLLY'S LITTLE LASSIE.

PATIENCE, LASS. PATIENCE.

THAT'S THE KEY WHEN IT COMES TO THE FISHING.

OH, IS THAT RIGHT?

SO YOU MEAN I CAN'T JUST GO...

LIKE THIS?

HEY!

YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING I SHOULD TRY SOME SUSHI.

I'LL TAKE YOU FOR SOME PROPER SUSHI ONE OF THESE DAYS.

- MM-HM. - OF COURSE, FOR THE REALLY GOOD STUFF,

- YOU NEED TO GO TO TOKYO. - TOKYO?

YOU MUST MISS IT THOUGH, THE TRAVELING.

I MISS BEING PART OF A SHOW,

BEING PART OF A COMPANY ON TOUR.

THAT IS JUST THE BEST THING.

BUT OF COURSE, THE...

THE QUIET LIFE HAS AN AWFUL LOT GOING FOR IT TOO.

HMM.

FOUR DEER THAT YOU KNOW OF.

WE'RE TALKING A FAIR FEW QUID.

HAVE YOU HAD ANY PROBLEMS?

I DON'T SEE EVERY ANIMAL EVERY DAY, BUT NO. NOTHING.

IT COULD BE THEY'RE TARGETING GLENBOGLE.

- WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? - BECAUSE OF ME, HE MEANS.

BECAUSE GOLLY'S LITTLE LASSIE'S IN CHARGE.

WORD GETS ROUND— FEMALE GHILLIE ON THE STAFF.

I EVEN HEARD A RUMOR YOUR FATHER WAS OFF WITH SOME YOUNG DANCER.

( laughs ) IT'S A MINI-BREAK, THEY HAVEN'T ELOPED.

I'M ONLY SAYING WHAT I HEARD.

- I DON'T WANT ANYONE THINKING GLENBOGLE'S A SOFT TOUCH. - THEY'RE NOT GOING TO.

- PAUL! I'LL PUT A STOP TO IT, DON'T WORRY. - IF I CAN HELP—

- WE DON'T NEED— - I'D APPRECIATE THAT.

NO REFLECTION ON YOU, JESS. IT MAKES SENSE FOR US TO COOPERATE.

AYE, IT DOES.

YOUR DAD AND MY DAD WERE PALS.

I'M SURE WE CAN WORK TOGETHER.

I'LL KEEP YOU IN THE LOOP.

I'LL LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

I'M SURPRISED. I HAVE TO SAY.

SURPRISED AND DISAPPOINTED.

- I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET INTO BOTHER. - THERE'LL BE NAY BOTHER.

I'M SIMPLY SUGGESTING WE DO OUR BIT

TO PROTECT THE ESTATE,

BUT VERY WELL, I SHALL GO IT ALONE.

WAIT.

- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA TO DO? - I THOUGHT I MIGHT FIRE UP MY OLD MOTOR,

- GO FOR A SPIN ROUND THE WOODS. - YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRIVE.

THAT'S WHY I THOUGHT I'D ENLIST YOUR HELP.

- ( broom clatters ) - TAKE A LOOK AT THE ENGINE. I DON'T WANT HER

DYING ON US IN THE MIDDLE OF A HOT PURSUIT.

THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY HOT PURSUITS, GOT IT?

I'LL LEAVE THE DRIVING ENTIRELY TO YOU.

I SHALL SIMPLY BE RIDING SHOTGUN.

( softly ) WHO'S THIS?

- IS IT OKAY TO PUT THIS UP? - YEAH, SURE. GO AHEAD.

POACHERS, IS IT? NASTY BUSINESS FOR A WEE GIRL LIKE YOURSELF.

- NOTHING I CAN'T HANDLE. - A BIG ESTATE LIKE GLENBOGLE,

IT'S NOT A DOLL'S HOUSE YOU'RE PLAYING WITH.

I NEVER HAD MUCH TIME FOR DOLLS,

EVEN WHEN I WAS A WEE GIRL.

IS THAT SO? BIT OF A TOMBOY?

OF COURSE, THERE'S OTHER WORDS FOR THAT THESE DAYS, EH, BOYS?

MR. COOPER, ISN'T IT?

- TOM COOPER? - AYE.

MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS HE CAN'T BELIEVE HOW WELL YOU DO WITH THE DICE.

- IS THAT SO? - AYE.

- HE SAYS HE'S AMAZED YOU CAN COUNT THE SPOTS. - ( laughing )

I'LL MENTION THAT TO YOUR DAD NEXT TIME I SEE HIM.

I HOPE I'M THERE WHEN YOU DO.

OKAY...

IF YOU HEAR OF ANYTHING, YOU CAN CALL THE OFFICE OR THE POLICE IN CONFIDENCE.

THIS IS BAD FOR THE ESTATE AND THAT'S BAD FOR ALL OF US.

A LASSIE DOING A MAN'S JOB, THAT'S WHAT'S BAD FOR THE ESTATE.

YOU'RE A JOKE, DARLIN'.

YOU CAN CALL ME ALL THE NAMES YOU LIKE, MR. COOPER...

BUT DON'T CALL ME DARLIN'.

YOU DO DO VENISON, YES.

YES, SIR.

IT'S PAN-FRIED AND SERVED WITH A PORT REDUCTION WITH SHALLOTS

- AND A NEST OF POTATO. - IS IT?

AND WHEN WAS THE BEAST KILLED? DO YOU KNOW THAT?

- Waiter: KILLED, SIR? - YEAH, KILLED.

AND MOREOVER, WAS IT BUTCHERED ON SITE,

OR WAS IT CARRIED ACROSS THE COUNTRY WITH ITS INNARDS STILL INSIDE?

I REALLY DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF INFORMATION AT MY FINGERTIPS, SIR.

- DON'T YOU? - OUR CHEF MAY HAVE A BETTER IDEA.

I THINK YOU SHOULD GO AND ASK HIM, GOLLY.

I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT, LASS.

WHEN IT COMES TO VENISON,

YOU NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU STAND.

THROUGH HERE, IS HE?

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

YEAH, I'M FINE. I'M FINE. YEAH.

REALLY?

YEAH, I AM AVAILABLE. HANG ON. I'LL JUST—

I'LL JUST GRAB A PEN.

SO FAR I'VE BEEN CALLED

"DARLIN'," A "WEE LASSIE," A "GIRL."

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE MEN AROUND HERE?

A BUNCH OF NEANDERTHALS THAT THINK THAT A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE KITCHEN.

- I CAN'T THINK WHERE THEY GET THAT IDEA FROM. - ( laughs )

YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH OF THIS STUFF TO FILL A SUPERMARKET.

YOU DON'T MAKE ONE JAR AT A TIME.

YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE A WHOLE BIG BATCH.

SO, WHAT'S PAUL BEEN SAYING TO IT?

NOTHING.

IT'S JUST THAT OUR GREAT NOBLE LAIRD WAS SAYING

THAT WE SHOULD GO INTO THE RELISH BUSINESS TOGETHER.

IT'S A RIDICULOUS IDEA.

AH, I WONDERED WHY HE WAS IN SUCH A MOOD THIS AFTERNOON.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

WHAT'D HE SAY?

NOT MUCH, BUT THEN HE IS A GUY.

HE'S NOT GOING TO SAY WHAT'S ON HIS MIND, IS HE?

GOD FORBID.

SO ARE YOU AND HIM SORT OF—

NO, NOT AT ALL.

- I WASN'T STICKING MY NOSE IN. - I KNOW.

IT'S NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO CHAT TO, ACTUALLY.

- IT MAKES A CHANGE. - TELL ME ABOUT IT.

I'VE ALWAYS, ALWAYS GOT MY DAD AND HIS GIRLFRIEND AROUND.

IF YOU EVER FANCY ESCAPING,

I'VE GOT A WEE SPARE ROOM GOING HERE.

I MIGHT JUST TAKE YOU UP ON THAT.

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ME BENDING YOUR EAR NOW AND THEN.

OH NO!

IT'S GOOD TO SAY THINGS OUT LOUD TO SOMEONE.

MIGHT HELP ME TO GET THEM STRAIGHT IN MY OWN HEAD.

JESS?

SMOKE BOMBS? WHAT, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?

IT'S A DIVERSION.

I'VE HEARD OF GANGS STARTING ACTUAL FIRES BEFORE, BUT NOT THIS.

THEY'RE MESSING WITH US. WE NEED TO GET AFTER 'EM.

SHALL I COME WITH YOU? EVEN THE ODDS?

- NO, WE'LL MANAGE, THANKS. - WE'RE NOT MANAGING, ARE WE, JESS?

THEY'RE OUT THERE NOW, STALKING OUR ANIMALS.

IF STUART'S WILLING TO HELP, I'M GONNA LET HIM.

RIGHT THEN. LET'S MOVE.

- ( engine groans ) - Donald: COME ON, COME ON.

- STUPID OLD HEAP. - DON'T TALK ABOUT MY CAR LIKE THAT.

I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THE CAR.

AHHH.

THERE'S NO SHAME IN THIS, JESS.

I'M JUST ANOTHER PAIR OF HANDS.

WHEN YOUR DAD WAS ALIVE, DID HE EVER ASK MY DAD FOR HELP?

HE WAS TOO PROUD TO ASK ANYONE FOR ANYTHING.

MAYBE I'M TOO PROUD AS WELL, STUART.

I WAS JUST—

PAUL, WE'RE ON THEIR TRAIL. OVER.

- WHAT'S YOUR POSITION? - Near Campbell's Crag.

HEAD THAT WAY AND WE'LL CUT THEM OFF. JESS OUT.

JESS, YOU COULD GET HURT.

SO COULD THEY.

- JESS— - IT'S OKAY.

WE'VE GOT THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE ON OUR SIDE.

FLOOR IT, LAD. FLOOR IT.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT?

I TOLD YOU I WAS RIDING SHOTGUN!

THERE THEY ARE! HOLD HER STEADY.

I DIDN'T SAY BRAKE!

DONALD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THANKS!

AHH!

ARE YOU OKAY? HAVE YOU BROKEN ANYTHING?

NO, I'M FINE! JUST GO!

NO, WE'RE COMING DOWN TO HELP.

OHM...

OHM...

- JESS, YOU ALL RIGHT? - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP ASKING ME THAT.

YOU COULD HAVE DONE YOURSELF SOME REAL DAMAGE...

- OVER A DEER. - IT'S A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?

NO, I DON'T.

- I'LL BE IN TOUCH. - OKAY. THANKS, STUART.

DO WE NEED OUTSIDERS TO FIGHT OUR BATTLES?

I COULD HAVE GIVEN THOSE RUFFIANS

A BUCKSHOT SANDWICH IF NOT FOR A SMALL AMMUNITION PROBLEM.

THE SHELLS WORKED PERFECTLY.

- THEY WERE DUMMIES. - THEY WERE MY BROTHER HECTOR'S SPECIAL SHELLS.

YES! GIVEN TO HIM BY MY DAD,

BECAUSE HE KNOWS MacDONALDS ARE LIKE WHEN THEIR BLOOD'S UP.

YOU CAN'T SHOOT AT PEOPLE, DONALD, EVEN POACHERS!

AND WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TAKE THAT VEHICLE?

- HIS CAR WOULDN'T START. - Paul: HIS CAR?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HIS—

RIGHT, GET IN THE VEHICLE. I'LL DEAL WITH YOU TWO LATER.

I CAN DO IT MYSELF!

HIYA.

THIS IS VERY PLEASANT SURPRISE.

ME AND THE MANAGER ARE THE BEST OF PALS.

- IS THAT RIGHT? - I TOLD HIM WE WERE THINKING

OF COMING BACK IN SEPTEMBER FOR A FORTNIGHT.

- GOLLY— - IT'S OKAY, WE CAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

BUT IF IT MAKES HIM A BIT EAGER TO PLEASE...

NO, LISTEN.

- I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. - WHAT?

I GOT A CALL LAST NIGHT FROM A PAL.

HE'S ENTERTAINMENT DIRECTOR ON A CRUISE SHIP.

ONE OF HIS DANCERS HAS POPPED HER ACHILLES, SO—

HE WANTS YOU TO COVER FOR HER.

HE WANTS ME TO TAKE HER PLACE

AND IT'S A 12-MONTH CONTRACT.

I KNOW IT'S NOT EXACTLY BROADWAY,

- BUT IT IS DANCING. - NO, IT SOUNDS—

SOUNDS REALLY EXCITING.

I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU EARLIER.

BUT WE WERE JUST HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME.

WE STILL WILL.

I'M PLEASED FOR YOU, MEG.

- REALLY? - REALLY.

OH, THANK YOU, GOLLY.

THANK YOU.

RIGHT. DONALD, YOU WERE IN THE ARMY FOR ABOUT, OH, FIVE MINUTES.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE TERM "CONFINED TO BARRACKS" MEANS?

IT WAS A PHRASE I BECAME ALL TOO FAMILIAR WITH.

GOOD. THEN YOU CAN EXPLAIN IT TO EWAN

AND WE WON'T HAVE ANY MORE INSANITY LIKE WE HAD LAST NIGHT.

YOU PUT YOURSELVES AT RISK, AS WELL AS THE REST OF US.

I MEAN WHAT IF THE GANG HAD DECIDED TO RETURN FIRE?

- HMM? WHAT THEN? - I'M SORRY, PAUL.

- IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. - YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT IT WON'T.

DONALD?

WE WERE RASH. I APOLOGIZE.

GOOD. YOU CAN GO NOW.

- ( engine rumbles ) - Ewan: WHAT THE—

- Paul: WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? - NOTHING, JUST...

HUBBA-HUBBA.

GOOD MORNING. AND WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU TODAY, MISS?

- LUCY FORD. - CHARMED.

RIGHT BACK AT YOU. I'M LOOKING FOR THE LAIRD.

OF COURSE YOU ARE.

HE'S OVER THERE.

MS. LUCY FORD AND THE LAIRD OF GLENBOGLE.

GOOD MORNING. I'M DELIGHTED TO MEET YOU.

LIKEWISE, OBVIOUSLY, BUT I'M NOT—

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW IT PAINS ME TO SAY THIS,

BUT THE MAN YOU WANT IS...

- HI THERE. - YOU?

I KNOW, IT'S HARD FOR ALL OF US TO BELIEVE.

THANK YOU, DONALD. YOU CAN GO NOW.

BOTH OF YOU.

- PAUL BOWMAN. - LUCY.

GOOD TO MEET YOU... AGAIN.

CLEAN SLATE, STARTING FROM NOW, THEN?

- CLEAN SLATE. - EXCELLENT.

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO COME OVER FOR A DRINK THIS EVENING?

( stammering ) A PARTY, I MEAN— COCKTAIL PARTY.

NOT JUST YOU AND ME, OBVIOUSLY— BECAUSE—

THAT WOULD BE WEIRD, WOULDN'T IT?

( chuckles ) OKAY, GREAT. I'D LIKE THAT.

AND WILL YOU BE BRINGING A DATE?

I'M NOT PRYING. IT'S JUST— NEED TO KNOW. NUMBERS.

NO. NO DATE.

GOOD— FINE.

- DO YOU THINK I COULD ASK YOU A FAVOR? - FIRE AWAY.

IF I'M GOING TO ASK SOME OF OUR OTHER NEIGHBORS,

IT WOULD BE USEFUL TO HAVE SOMEONE WITH ME TO...

KNOW THE LIE OF THE LAND.

WELL, I'M— I SUPPOSE I COULD SPARE AN HOUR.

BRILLIANT.

I SAW A SMALL FARM UP THE ROAD.

- WE COULD START THERE. - YEAH.

THAT SEEMS LIKE AS GOOD A PLACE AS ANY.

Donald's voice: "POACHERS, MOLLY. WOULD YOU CREDIT IT?

OUR INITIAL ATTEMPT TO COMBAT THESE LOWLIFES

DIDN'T QUITE PAY THE DIVIDENDS ONE WOULD HOPE FOR.

I AM CONFIDENT, HOWEVER,

THAT PLAN B WILL BE FAR MORE SUCCESSFUL."

COME ON, JESS.

WORK TO BE DONE YET.

NO. NO MORE.

SHH. I THINK THEY'RE NEARBY.

- Jess: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AFTER THEM? - ABOUT AN HOUR.

THEY'RE OUT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, DOING WHAT THEY LIKE.

- SHH. - STUART.

- SHH. - NO, I WON'T "SHH."

- IS THAT GUN LOADED? - IT WOULDN'T BE MUCH USE OTHERWISE, WOULD IT?

- STUART. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU DON'T WALK AROUND WITH LOADED GUNS!

- THEY DO! - AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM THEM AND US US.

- I WASN'T THINKING. - ARE THINGS THAT BAD?

AM I SO HOPELESS THAT EVEN OTHER GHILLIES

THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO WANDER AROUND MY ESTATE WITH LOADED GUNS?

I'M SO PITIFUL YOU THINK YOU NEED TO BREAK EVERY RULE IN THE BOOK?

- NO, JESS. - YES, STUART!

IT'S OPEN SEASON AT GLENBOGLE. ANYONE CAN DO WHAT THEY LIKE.

- ( echoes ) IT'S OPEN SEASON! - ( wings flutter )

I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT I WAS HELPING.

IT'S OKAY.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, NOT REALLY.

IT'S THE JOB.

NO, NO, I WOULD LOVE TO COME.

SO WHAT IS IT? FORMAL? CASUAL?

WELL, ANY EXCUSE TO GET DOLLED UP.

I'LL SEE IF I CAN FIND A LITTLE NUMBER SOMEWHERE.

OR YOU COULD JUST WEAR YOUR NEW HAT.

( clears throat ) YEAH, IT'S NOT A NEW HAT.

IT'S FOR MY SCARECROW.

AND YOU'RE WEARING IT JUST ONE LAST TIME.

WELL, WE SHOULD GET GOING.

PAUL'S KIND OF SHOWING ME AROUND.

- THAT'S VERY NICE OF HIM. - I'M HAPPY TO HELP ANYONE.

- ANYONE WHO'LL LET ME. - YOU SEE?

THIS IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF ATTITUDE

I WAS HOPING TO FIND WHEN I MOVED UP HERE.

- IS EVERYONE THIS GOOD NATURED? - NO.

NO, I'D SAY PAUL'S A BIT SPECIAL.

SO, I'LL SEE YOU BOTH TONIGHT, THEN?

- YEAH, I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. - YEAH, ME TOO.

- WELL? - NO WAY, YOU HEARD WHAT PAUL SAID.

OH, PAUL'S A STOUT ENOUGH FELLOW,

BUT THE MILITARY'S RUINED HIM.

YOU AND I, WE'RE MAVERICKS,

- INDEPENDENT SPIRITS. - I'M NOT LISTENING.

WHAT SORT OF MAN GETS THE GIRLS, EWAN?

THE HONEST SQUADDIE, HAPPILY DOING HIS K.P. DUTY

OR THE DYNAMIC COVERT AGENT?

NO, I'M NOT DOING IT.

- NOT EVEN FOR GIRLS. - THEN DO IT FOR GLENBOGLE.

THEY'RE ROAMING ACROSS THIS PLACE

STRIKING WHEREVER IT TAKES THEIR FANCY.

DOESN'T IT MAKE YOUR BLOOD BOIL

TO THINK OF THEM DESPOILING OUR HOME?

- HOME? - YES.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST ONE BIG JAIL CELL TO YOU.

WELL, I DO HAVE MANY CONFLICTING EMOTIONS ABOUT GLENBOGLE, EWAN—

YOU LOVE IT HERE, YOU OLD CON.

ONE THING I'VE NEVER FELT FOR THIS PLACE IS CONTEMPT.

I'LL NOT ALLOW ANYONE ELSE TO TREAT IT WITH CONTEMPT EITHER.

- NO GUNS THIS TIME. - NO WEAPONS AT ALL,

SAVE A RAZOR-SHARP MIND OR TWO.

- I'M IN. - EXCELLENT.

( coughs ) I SHALL NEED A DEAD FISH.

I GOT P.C. CALLUM TO FAX OVER THE DETAILS

OF ANY POACHING REPORTED IN THE LAST 10 YEARS

TO SEE IF THERE WAS ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH OURS.

- GOOD IDEA. - YEAH.

I'M GONNA SPEND A BIT OF TIME GOING OVER EVERYTHING

AND MAYBE SOMETHING WILL LEAP OUT AT ME.

OKAY, WELL, I'LL GIVE THE PARTY A MISS.

- THERE'S NO NEED. - TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE.

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT STUART?

SORRY.

BUT BECAUSE WE ASKED FOR HIS HELP,

HE THINKS IT'S OKAY TO WALK ABOUT THE ESTATE WITH A LOADED GUN.

YOU'RE JOKING?

- I'LL HAVE A WORD WITH HIM. - I'VE TAKEN CARE OF IT.

LOOK, STUART'S NOT THE PROBLEM, PAUL. HE'S A GOOD GUY.

IT'S JUST I FEEL LIKE EVER SINCE THIS THING STARTED—

EVERYONE'S BEEN INTERFERING...

- MAINLY ME. - YOU'RE THE LAIRD, PAUL.

YEAH, BUT A GOOD LAIRD KNOWS WHEN TO TRUST HIS PEOPLE.

OKAY.

YOU TAKE THE LEAD FROM NOW ON, JESS.

OKAY. THEN GO TO YOUR PARTY.

IF I COME UP WITH ANYTHING, I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY.

- GOOD LUCK WITH IT. - THANKS.

- ( door closes ) - OKAY.

INCIDENT #1: ONE BULLET.

OKAY.

SOMETHING LEAP OUT AT ME.

Donald's voice: "SOMETHING BOLD WAS REQUIRED

IN ORDER TO FLUSH THOSE BEGGARS OUT.

BOLD, YET CUNNING.

IT WAS TIME TO PUT PLAN B INTO ACTION."

THAT WILL DO NICELY. ( laughs )

COME ON THEN.

- I SHOULD GET SOME KIND OF BONUS FOR THIS. - AHH.

( sniffing ) AHH.

OHHH. ( inhales deeply )

SO THERE WE ARE OUT ON THIS DRIVE,

ALL PERFECTLY INNOCENT,

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE CAR IS SURROUNDED BY MILITARY POLICE.

MY FATHER HAS ONLY TOLD THEM THIS POOR LIEUTENANT HAS GONE AWOL.

POOR LIEUTENANT? HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING.

YOU DO NOT GO OUT WITH YOUR C.O.'s DAUGHTER.

IT WAS NO FUN BEING ME, HONESTLY.

I HAD FRIENDS WHO COMPLAINED ABOUT OVERPROTECTIVE FATHERS,

BUT MINE COULD MOBILIZE NATO TO STOP ME GOING ON A DATE.

OF COURSE, MY FATHER IS RETIRED NOW,

SO I CAN PRETTY MUCH DATE WHOMEVER I WANT—

HELLO, HAVE SOME BUBBLY.

- ISOBEL! - SORRY, EXCUSE ME.

- YOU MADE IT. - I WOULDN'T MISS THIS.

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

- YEAH. YEAH, YOU DO. - THANK YOU.

CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?

- CHAMPAGNE OKAY? - PERFECT.

- SAME AGAIN? - YEAH.

- OKAY, SO WHAT'S HIS STORY? - SORRY?

- SIX EX-WIVES? ALCOHOLIC? - NO.

- GAY? - NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S SINGLE.

I MEAN WHEN HE SAID THERE WAS NO ONE IN HIS LIFE,

- I THOUGHT THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME CATCH. - IS THAT WHAT HE SAID?

NO ONE?

SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES, YES.

WHY? DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING DIFFERENT?

- NO, NO. OF COURSE NOT. - HERE YOU GO.

- THANK YOU. - THANKS.

YOU KNOW, PAUL AND I HAVE AN AWFUL LOT IN COMMON.

EX-ARMY. ARMY BRAT.

WELL, I'D BEST LEAVE YOU TWO TO CHAT.

( stammers ) OH NO, IT'S OKAY.

IT'S A PARTY, PAUL. GOTTA MINGLE.

I'M STARVING. SOMETHING TO EAT?

NO, I'M FINE, ACTUALLY.

Donald's voice: "SO, DEAR MOLLY, IMAGINE THE EXCITEMENT.

EVER VIGILANT, MY TRUSTY SIDEKICK KEPT WATCH

AS I PREPARED TO STRIDE BOLDLY INTO THE LION'S DEN.

YES, IT WAS TO BE AN UNDERCOVER OPERATION

AND FOR ANY CHANCE OF SUCCESS IN THIS VENTURE,

I HAD TO BLEND IN SEAMLESSLY."

TWO PINTS OF HEAVY, LANDLORD!

AH.

THIRSTY WORK, OUT ALL DAY AND NIGHT.

WORTH IT THOUGH.

PLENTY OF GAME OUT THERE, IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK

AND YOU DON'T MIND BENDING THE RULES A WEE BIT. ( chuckles )

- HAVE A SEAT. - I DON'T MIND IF I DO.

- POACHER ARE YOU? - SHH.

A MAN HAS TO EARN A LIVING.

I'VE NEVER SEEN A POACHER THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU BEFORE.

- YOU LOOK LIKE A CLOWN. - ( laughs )

THAT'S HOW I KEEP THE POLICE AND THE GHILLIES OFF MY TRAIL.

THEY DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, NEXT THING THEY KNOW,

THERE'S HALF A HERD MISSING. DO YOU FOLLOW?

- I GET YOU, ALL RIGHT. - WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A DRAM?

I'LL HAVE A MALT. I'LL HEAR WHAT A GOOD MAN

LIKE YOURSELF GETS UP TO AROUND HERE.

TWO SINGLE MALTS, LANDLORD.

- EVENING, MR. MacDONALD. - GOOD EVENING.

SHH.

HOW ARE THINGS AT GLENBOGLE?

- STILL GOT THE POACHING PROBLEM, HAVE YOU? - THANK YOU VERY MUCH

FOR YOUR CONCERN. WE'RE HANDLING IT. NOW SHUT YOUR TRAP.

WHAT?

I HAD NO IDEA THERE WERE SO MANY VARIETIES OF TROUT.

OH, YES.

THERE'S THE RAINBOW, THE STOCKED BROWN, THE WILD BROWN,

- ( giggles ) - Man: AND OF COURSE,

- MY MOTHER-IN-LAW. ( laughs ) - ( laughs )

RIGHT, I THINK I'LL GO AND GET US PACKED.

NOW? WE SHOULD ENJOY OUR LAST NIGHT HERE.

AH WELL, I WANT TO MAKE AN EARLY START IN THE MORNING.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW YOU COULD ALWAYS FLY OUT

TO ONE OF OUR STOPOVERS.

- MAYBE. - I'LL BE IN SICILY IN AUGUST.

- GROUSE SEASON. - GREECE IN NOVEMBER.

- THAT'S WHEN WE START GETTING READY FOR THE WINTER. - CHRISTMAS THEN.

- WE'RE DOING THIS CHRISTMAS IN THE FJORDS SPECIAL. - NO, NO, NO.

NO. I'M SORRY, MEG.

I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY,

BUT THAT LIFE...

NOT FOR ME.

I'M SORRY, LASS.

BACK OFF, BRUSSELS. THAT'S WHAT I SAY.

I'M JUST GOING TO CHASE DOWN ANOTHER DRINK.

( sighs ) LUCY, IT'S BEEN A GREAT PARTY

- BUT I'M— - NO, NO, NO, YOU ARE NOT LEAVING.

THE FUN'S ONLY JUST STARTED.

- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SERVING DINNER. - ( stammering ) I'M NOT.

CHESTER, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE?

MISSING A HALF DECENT PARTY BY THE LOOKS OF IT.

- I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T ARRIVING UNTIL NEXT WEEK. - SIX MESSAGES ON YOUR MOBILE.

- BATTERY'S FLAT AND I CAN'T FIND THE CHARGER. - WHY DO I KEEP YOU AS MY P.A.?

BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T QUIT AFTER SIX WEEKS.

- P.A.? I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY OWNED THE HOUSE. - OH, UM...

- DID I GIVE THAT IMPRESSION? - Chester: I'M SURE SHE NEVER MEANT TO.

- RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, - ( gong sounds )

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.

I AM A MAN OF WEALTH AND TASTE.

NOT BIG ON THE ROLLING STONES?

- SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL! - CORRECT!

( laughs ) I LOVE THIS THING.

I'VE GOT TO GET A HARNESS SO I CAN CARRY IT AROUND.

- GREAT. - IT MIGHT AFTER A WHILE, YEAH.

RIGHT, OKAY, WELL,

I'M CHESTER GRANT

AND I'D LIKE TO...

WELCOME YOU ALL TO THIS— THIS... HOUSE-WARMING?

- IF YOU LIKE. - HOUSE-WARMING.

( stammering ) I HOPE IT WILL BE THE FIRST OF MANY

PLEASANT EVENINGS AND THAT WE ALL BECOME FRIENDS.

GOOD FRIENDS.

SO, CHAMPAGNE!

STUART.

STUART!

- ( knocks ) - Stuart: JESS, YOU IN THERE?

YEP, YEP, COME ON IN.

LOOK, UH, I KNOW YOU WERE DOWN BEFORE.

OH, I'M OVER THAT.

- IN FACT, I'VE GOT A PLAN. - IS THAT SO?

GONNA FILL ME IN?

YEAH, YEAH, IF YOU LIKE.

- THAT WAS COOL. - YEAH, I KNOW.

- ( laughing ) - SHOWING OFF!

HERE YOU GO.

NO, NO, NO, NOT FOR ME, NO THANKS.

SO, WHAT DOES ANYBODY DO FOR BEER AROUND HERE?

- WELL, THERE'S HEAVY, 80 SHILLING. - AHA!

- ( sword clanks ) - MAKE MINE 40 SHILLINGS WORTH THEN.

- I'LL HAVE HALF, PLEASE. - I'M STICKING TO BUBBLY.

LOOKS LIKE THE BUBBLY'S STICKING TO YOU.

- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? - NOTHING AT ALL.

GOOD.

SO, CHESTER,

- TELL US ALL ABOUT YOURSELF. - CHICKENS.

THAT'S HOW I MADE MY MONEY. OH TA.

CHEERS.

19 MILLION PRE-PACKED DRUMSTICKS A YEAR.

THEN WHEN I SAW ALL THAT ORGANIC NONSENSE, I SOLD UP.

I MADE A GOOD PRICE THOUGH.

CHESTER, ISOBEL IS AN ORGANIC FARMER.

( laughs ) OH.

- WELL YOU DON'T LOOK TO BAD ON IT. - WHY, THANK YOU.

THIS IS NICE. I COULD GET USED TO THIS.

SO, 50 QUID ON A GAME OR A FRAME

- OR A SET OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT? - YOU DON'T KNOW THE RULES,

- BUT YOU WANT TO BET MONEY? - SORT OF PLACE LIKE THIS

- YOU NEED TO MAKE YOUR OWN EXCITEMENT, EH? - BUT YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED

- WHAT GOES ON IN A PLACE LIKE THIS. - OH, REALLY?

IGNORE HER, CHESTER. IT'S THE CHAMPAGNE TALKING.

NO IT'S NOT. YOU SEE, CHESTER,

AT GLENBOGLE WE'VE GOT THE BLACK SHEEP UNCLE

- WHO'S HERE UNDER HOUSE ARREST— - OOH.

AND THEN WE'VE GOT THE NEW LAIRD

WHO WAS BORN THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BLANKET.

- ( laughs ) - Paul: I'VE HEARD ALL THESE STORIES BEFORE

SO, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO GET SOME FRESH AIR.

I'LL GO WITH YOU.

- FANCY A GAME THEN? - OKAY.

PRACTICALLY ALL OUR DEER ARE AT THE SOUTHWEST FEEDING STATION.

PAUL AND I CAN STAKE THOSE OUT.

THERE IS A HANDFUL IN FIR TREE GLEN,

BUT, OCH, THE GANG WON'T SPOT THEM THERE.

YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WORKED OUT.

YEAH, YEAH I HAVE.

YOU GET BACK AND LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN ESTATE.

IF YOU'RE SURE YOU CAN COPE WITHOUT ME.

- I'M POSITIVE. - STILL FRIENDS THOUGH?

ACTUALLY.

- I'LL SEE YOU LATER. - YEP.

- ( car door shuts ) - ( engine starts )

- OH, MAN. - ARE YOU SURE?

YOUR MATE FROM THE PUB JUMPED IN THE PASSENGER SEAT OF THAT LAND ROVER

- AND THEY DROVE OFF. AND NOW HIM AND JESS ARE— - CANOODLING.

AYE. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

- ( slow music playing ) - ( indistinct chattering )

THERE YOU GO, CINDERELLA.

I'M NOT BIG ON FAIRY TALES.

NO, ME NEITHER.

I THINK YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

DOES THAT SOUND REALLY UNROMANTIC?

NO.

ACTUALLY IT DOES.

A SUMMER'S EVENING ON A TERRACE

WITH A REALLY QUITE HANDSOME MAN

AND HERE I AM

- RUINING THE MOMENT. - YOU'RE DOING ALL RIGHT.

- AM I? - YEAH.

SORRY. ( chuckles )

SORRY, THAT WAS... INAPPROPRIATE

AND TOO MUCH CHAMPAGNE,

I THINK.

IT WAS FINE.

IS PAUL BOWMAN HERE?

YEAH, I THINK HE'S OUTSIDE.

YEAH, THEY'RE RIGHT HERE ON THE TERRACE.

- JESS? - ARE YOU READY TO GO AND CATCH SOME POACHERS?

- YES, I'M UP FOR IT. - Paul: SORRY, CHESTER.

THIS IS GLENBOGLE BUSINESS.

I'VE REALLY GOT TO GO.

- SORRY. - THAT'S OKAY. WE'RE NEIGHBORS.

I'M SURE WE'LL BUMP INTO ONE ANOTHER AGAIN.

EXCUSE ME.

COME IN, PAUL. OVER.

I'm here. Over.

SO ARE THEY,

RIGHT BY FIR TREE GLEN. OVER.

I'm on my way.

WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CARRYING GUNS ON MY ESTATE?

- I TOLD YOU THIS WAS NO JOB FOR A LASSIE. - NO, THAT'S ENOUGH.

LIKE I SAID, STUART,

- I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. - ( bushes crackling )

YOU'RE NOT JAILING ME!

- YOU OKAY HERE? - NOTHING I CAN'T HANDLE. GO GET HIM.

ALL RIGHT.

WHY?

YOUR FAMILY HAVE BEEN GHILLIES FOR GENERATIONS.

NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE LIKE THEIR DAD.

BUT... THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY TO BETRAY THEIR MEMORY THOUGH, DOES IT?

OR THE PEOPLE YOU WORK FOR. OR YOUR FRIENDS.

I'M SORRY. I OWED A LOT OF MONEY.

I HAD SOME BAD LUCK ON THE DICE.

- TO HIM. - ( gun rattles )

HE'S A CHEAT, STUART.

MAKE SURE YOU LET THE REST OF D-WING KNOW ABOUT IT,

- ( cuffs ratchet ) - WON'T YOU?

( whispering ) DONALD, WAKE UP, DONALD.

HERE'S YOUR BIG CHANCE.

MY BIG CHANCE.

COME ON, COME ON.

STOP.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH PAI MEI'S WHITE LOTUS SHANGHAI TECHNIQUE?

IT'S THE SECOND OLDEST FORM OF UNARMED COMBAT

- KNOWN TO MAN. - OH, AYE?

- AND WHAT'S THE OLDEST LIKE? - THIS.

UH, PAUL,

- WE DIDN'T MEAN TO— IT WAS JUST— - OH, MY BACK, MY BACK.

RELAX, LAD.

I'M SURE PAUL APPRECIATES OUR SHOW OF INITIATIVE.

- ( groans ) - ARE YOU IN A LOT OF PAIN?

YEAH, I APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH. ( chuckles )

BEAUTIFUL AT THIS TIME OF THE DAY.

I'VE LIVED MY WHOLE LIFE WITH THIS VIEW.

I STILL NEVER TIRE OF IT.

- I DO LOVE THIS PLACE, YOU KNOW, GOLLY. - MMM.

- JUST NOT ENOUGH THOUGH, EH? - DON'T BE ANGRY WITH ME.

I'M JUST SICK TO DEATH OF PEOPLE RUNNING OUT ON ME.

THE WHOLE WORLD'S IN THAT VIEW, MEG.

IT'S GOT EVERYTHING YOU'LL EVER NEED.

- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS OPEN UP YOUR HEART TO IT. - I WANT TO.

ALL THE WAY BACK IN THE CAR I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING.

WELL, SAY IT NOW.

LOOK, I LOVE DANCING, OKAY?

EVEN CHEESY CABARET ON A BOAT, I LOVE IT.

AND IT'S PROBABLY THE LAST CHANCE I'LL HAVE.

BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO.

I WANT TO STAY HERE...

WITH YOU.

- OH, LASS, LASS, LASS. - ( laughs )

ALL RIGHT, BREAK IT UP.

- AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? - OUT CATCHING POACHERS.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - Paul: RELAX, GOLLY.

IT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.

JESS SORTED THEM OUT.

WELL DONE, LASS.

SO, TELL ME ABOUT THE DETAILS.

AAH!

SORE HEAD?

- POUR HER BRANDY, EWAN. - ( Jess laughs )

NO THANKS. I HAD WAY TOO MUCH TO DRINK LAST NIGHT.

- YOU COULD SAY THAT, YEAH. - I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE.

- THERE'S NO NEED. - SO I BROUGHT A PEACE OFFERING.

WHAT'S THIS?

- RELISH? - THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD ALL TRY A BIT IF WE'RE GONNA PUT

GLENBOGLE'S NAME ON THE JARS.

I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T KEEN ON THAT IDEA.

IT'S A LADY'S PREROGATIVE TO CHANGE HER MIND, PAUL,

- AND THIS IS DELICIOUS. - OH, I KNOW.

HE'S RIGHT FOR ONCE. IT'S GREAT.

- WE IN BUSINESS THEN? - Golly: HERE WE ARE.

- Meg: THANK YOU. - YEAH.

- YEAH, WE ARE. - ( all cheer )

- WILL I GET A RENT REBATE WHEN YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRESS? - I WISH.

I'VE DECIDED TO TAKE A ROOM DOWN AT THE FARM.

JUST— GIVE YOU GUYS A BIT OF PRIVACY.

- IF YOU'RE SURE. - YEAH, I AM.

NO OFFENSE, GOLLY, MATE,

- BUT YOU'RE LIKE A MILLION YEARS OLD. - THANKS.

HOW COME YOU'VE GOT A WEE LOVE-NEST AND I'VE NOT?

THERE'S NOT NEED TO UPSET YOURSELF, BOY.

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY BACHELOR AROUND HERE, YOU KNOW?

WHAT ABOUT ME AND PAUL?

- YOU'RE EVEN OLDER THAN HIM. - WHAT?

AND PAUL'S DOING ALL RIGHT, AREN'T YOU, BOSS?

OHHH! HAS THE LAIRD AN ADMIRER?

THAT SEXY WEE MS. FORD FROM DOWN THE ROAD.

- Golly: GET AWAY. - Donald: OH? NO!

- Ewan: HE'S BLUSHING, MAN. THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON. - Donald: AWW.

- I NEED TO GO. BYE. - All: BYE.

STAY FOR A BIT.

- ( group chatting ) - SORRY, IT'S— HANGOVER.

BUT I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

WE NEED TO TALK RELISH, EH?

- YEAH, OKAY. - BYE.

SEE YOU.

AND HE WAS CALLED CHEERFUL CHARLEY CHUTNEY,

BUT HIS CHUTNEY WAS CALLED...

Donald's voice: "GOLLY AND THE TANGO DANCER ARE NOW LIVING IN SIN

AND BACKSTAIRS GOSSIP HAS THE LAIRD SETTING HIS CAP

AT OUR NEW NEIGHBOR.

SUCH TITTLE-TATTLE WOULDN'T NORMALLY INTEREST ME,

BUT APPARENTLY, THE YOUNG LADY'S BOSS IS BLESSED

WITH AN EXCELLENT CELLAR AND A GENEROUS NATURE.

I ANXIOUSLY AWAIT AN INVITATION TO SAMPLE BOTH.

YOURS, EVER THE ROMANTIC,

DONALD."