Original subtitles

Archie!

Archie!

Archie! Archie, what the hell are you doing?

Archie!

Woo-Hoo! Whee!

- Whoa! - Archie, get down here now!

Hi, lex, how you doing?

Archie!

- ( engine choking ) - Archie!

Whoa! Whoa!

Archie.

Archie, are you all right?

Yeah, i'm fine. ( grunts )

Just... A slight bruising, that's all.

You could have broken your neck.

Why are you doing this?

I fancied a challenge, that's all.

Stick to something sensible like...

Well, like golf.

- Kilwillie's been after you for— - Oh please!

I am not ready to join the plus-Four brigade just yet, thank you very much.

Archie, what has gotten into you?

The last few weeks you've been chewing the furniture.

Glenbogle's in the black, the estate's running smoothly.

That's just it, when the place was falling apart,

My job was to keep it together. But now that's done—

I don't know, i just want to get my teeth into something.

( sighs ) your job is to look after your home,

And your people,

And your beautiful wife.

So no more suicidal sports, okay?

It's not that dangerous, honestly.

Oh, but it is. Because if i catch you up there again,

I'll kill you.

- Hi, auntie liz. - You're late.

You can take all this down to the dump. If the dump'll have it.

- Whose is it? - It belonged to your great-Uncle angus.

He doesn't need it where he's gone.

What, you mean... I'm the last of the mckays?

There's probably a few in prison somewhere.

I want you to strip the walls,

Put on two coats of magnolia,

Paint the ceiling white and white gloss the woodwork.

What about the hideous old carpet? Is that to go?

No, that was mother's.

I thought you said you'd found an old wreck at the auction.

I did. £25!

It was lurking under three layers of green paint.

I'm no expert, but i'd say this is a distinct improvement.

It needs specialist work, so i thought i'd take it

Into that new antique dealer in the village.

You know, william... Cox.

- Knox. - Knox.

But i can still make a profit when i sell it on.

I've had enough of wandering around the garden, picking flowers.

And you've been telling me for months i could do it if i tried.

So if it all goes pear-Shaped, i can blame you.

I don't think i have anything to worry about. Go for it, you'll do brilliantly.

It's so horrendously gothic.

Even the turrets have turrets.

All the homely charm of a lunatic asylum.

( chuckles ) that's no coincidence.

- Oh, hello. - Archie, you've finally

Joined the brotherhood of the dimpled ball.

I don't have to dress like that, do i?

Not if you don't have the brio to carry it off.

- ( clears throat ) - I'm sorry.

You remember my darling sister dorothy.

She's up from the big smoke for a flying visit.

- You have a remarkable home. - Do you like it?

I think it could use a few more turrets myself.

I was wondering, do you think lexie

Could look after little sis while i hammer you on the fairway?

Yes, of course. In fact, she's hosting a coffee morning

For the ladies of the glen. You don't by any chance have a swimsuit, do you?

A swimsuit?

Lex, this is dorothy, kilwillie's sister.

Morning, dorothy! Get your kit off.

Now that you've restored the family fortunes,

I was wondering if you might fancy a modest investment.

I've had a rather good idea for a scottish restaurant.

No offense, kilwillie, but aren't there already rather a lot of them?

Not here, you chump, in new york, the restaurant capital of the world,

Yet sadly bereft of the joys of haggis,

Neaps, wild salmon, and haunch of highland venison,

Such as those supplied by kilwillie's highland harvest.

You're right. That's a splendid idea.

- Except for the bit about me investing in it. - Oh, pity.

Perhaps you'd let me pick your brains a bit.

We'll need a chap to run the place.

Someone young, energetic,

Fond of good, old-Fashioned hard work.

- Everything you're not, you mean. - Oh!

You put me off my shot!

- Mere gamesmanship, dear boy. - Ha!

So can you think of a talented, young restaurateur

Who fancies a bite of the big apple?

Sure you won't come in, dorothy? The water's lovely.

Thank you, but hot tubs... They're so last season.

( chuckles ) not for glenbogle.

We've just had the indoor plumbing fitted.

Lexie, the minutes are getting all soggy.

See if dorothy can help. Do you take shorthand, dorothy?

No, but i'll try to keep up with the conversation.

The next item is the post office closing.

What? Glenbogle post office?

Mrs. Nairn says she's leaving in six weeks.

There's no one to replace her.

Where are people gonna collect their pensions from?

And their child benefit?

Isn't there a post office at cairnlochan?

That's 22 miles away. Buses cost money.

Maybe we should encourage people to use it more.

We can maybe see about getting an internet link set up?

Encouraging them to download pornography is hardly going to help matters.

( laughs ) dorothy, this is serious.

I prefer lady dorothy, actually.

"mrs. Macdonald regretted post office closure."

Any other business?

Mm, yes, this is an excellent piece.

- I could give you a good price for it. - I really wanted it repaired.

You see there's some veneer lifted,

- And two handles missing. - Yes, we can do that for you.

About £200?

- Marvelous. - Right, right.

Now, if you just sign for the work.

- Oh. - Can i ask where you got it?

- If you just initial— - Oh right.

At an auction in knockmore. I'm thinking of selling it on.

- Really? - ( laughs )

Don't worry, mr. Knox. I hardly count as competition.

Okay, that's fine, mrs. Macdonald.

- I'll give you a phone when it's ready. - Wonderful!

- Thank you, bye-Bye. - Bye-Bye.

Is that the cairnlochan nursing home?

Yeah, you've sent us a bill for angus mckay, my great-Uncle.

Yeah, the thing is he's no longer with us.

What do you mean he's with you?

Oh... Oh!

No. No.

It's okay, i'll get onto it.

Yeah, bye.

- Hi, mrs. Nairn. - Lexie, i've just closed up.

- Did you need something? - Yeah, yeah...

Actually, no. I don't need anything. Sorry.

No need to apologize, dear.

It's just that i heard that business was a bit slow.

Business? Business is fine.

We've had to bring in a single queuing system.

There were some very unseemly scenes.

But, you're still leaving?

We have to.

We've been given six weeks to move out of our cottage.

But i thought you lived here above the shop.

Oh no. It's the size of a shoebox up there.

Terribly damp.

And you don't want to see the toilet, believe me.

So, who is your landlord? Is it someone down south?

We live up on drumnagailleach.

Th— that's kilwillie's estate.

Indeed it is. It's lord kilwillie who wants us out.

Oh lexie, glasgow's finest export since the steam engine.

Why are you evicting the nairns?

- The who? - Mrs. Nairn,

The postmistress in glenbogle.

I suppose you send your butler to collect your pension.

I haven't the faintest idea—

Oh— i thought we had guests.

Well, lexie's here about the nairns.

Oh yes. The couple that live up at drumna...

- Drunmagailleach. - Bless you.

- Is this your idea? - But really, it's a hovel.

They're much better off somewhere else.

- They've lived there for 50 years. - Yes, but it faces northeast.

Terrible feng-Shui. They're going to have real health problems.

They'll have real health problems when they're sleeping in the rain.

This has nothing to do with those friends of yours, has it,

The ones who were desperate for a highland retreat?

Of course it doesn't, sharon.

Hold on,

You have given one of your friends someone else's home?

I'm sure we can come to some arrangement.

Perhaps we could find them another place to live.

If they'll cause this much trouble, perhaps we shouldn't bother.

You can't do this, kilwillie.

- We're perfectly within our rights. - No, you're not!

And you won't get away with this, sharon,

Believe you me.

Ah, lex.

I have a proposition for you.

Does it involve a hot bath and a massage?

- Uh... No, no. - Why not?

You know they have "turkish" baths in new york.

Yeah well, they have turkish baths in turkey. What are you on about?

Kilwillie is opening a restaurant in new york.

He needs a manager.

Oh, come on, lex. I know it's insane,

But the more i think about it, the more excited i get.

It is a fantastic challenge.

( scoffs ) and what's wrong with the challenges we've got here?

What, like working on my handicap?

And who's gonna run the place? Duncan?

It won't be that hard to find someone.

- If a real problem comes up, they can just call us. - Right, okay,

So a problem like... Kilwillie's sister wanting to turf out mrs. Nairn?

Yeah, exactly.

- What, the old woman who runs the post office? - Uh-Huh.

- ( sighs ) she can't be serious. - We need to stop her.

We can't actually stop her. They're not our tenants.

- Right, so it's not our problem then? - No, i don't mean that,

But if they don't want to move out, they should go to court.

Archie, they can't afford to go to court!

Listen, i've got dreams too, you know.

I want glenbogle to be a place that looks after its people.

The village will suffer if the post office closes.

You just won't intervene because you want this job from kilwillie.

- I won't intervene because i can't. - You are the laird.

Yeah, but it's not the 17th century.

I can't send out galloglasses to burn kilwillie's range rover,

Or slaughter his ground staff.

No, you'd just rather run off abroad— bonnie prince archie.

Maybe this isn't a good time to discuss it.

There will never be a good time to discuss it.

- ( sighs ) - ( door slams )

He's right inside. You can go on in.

Uncle angus?

( whispers loudly ) uncle angus?

Duncan?

Hi.

You're not duncan.

No, um... I'm your grand-Nephew.

Michael's duncan.

I used to see you when i visited auntie liz. I must have been—

- What do you want? - I've come to see you.

You're that stuck for entertainment?

I'm sorry. Nobody told me—

- I mean, i thought you were— - Dead?

Aye, that's what i told liz to say.

I didn't want soppy relatives bringing me grapes.

I hate grapes.

You've still got a lot of stuff at liz's. Do you want me—

- Throw it away. - I thought you would...

It's just rubbish. Nobody gives a damn.

I do.

Och, away and play with your yo-Yo. I want to sleep.

I came a long way to see you.

The sooner you leave the sooner you'll be home.

This way, mrs. Macdonald.

It was quite the undertaking, but we managed it.

- ( gasps ) - Ah yes, the—

The veneer splintered when we tried to glue it down.

It's... It's quite inferior wood.

But this smells like model aircraft glue.

Yes, usually that's quite effective.

- Are these handles reproduction? - No. No, no.

Yes, they are. You can see the line of the moldings.

Ah well, antique handles aren't easy to find.

I might just as— thank you for your efforts, mr. Knox.

Here... There was...

Rather more work to it than i thought.

( gasps ) £500?

But that's almost the value of the piece.

I'm afraid i can't let it go till the invoice is settled. You did sign the forms.

- But... - Do you need your glasses?

Glasses? I need an electron microscope for this.

Mr. Knox, i can't possibly afford to pay this much.

I'm afraid i'll have to dispose of the piece to cover my costs.

( sighs ) this work is quite simply...

Shoddy.

I was gonna let you have it for £450.

But if you're going to take that attitude...

The slimy, devious, swindling little creep!

The mess he's made of my table.

( scoffs ) modeling glue.

I've heard bad things about knox.

Hopeless. Why i thought i could survive in this business, i don't know.

It's hardly your fault.

You mustn't let yourself be discouraged by one bad experience.

- We'll get your table back. - Forget it, golly.

I've only lost £25 and a week's work.

I'm going to wander around the garden— and pick flowers.

I hate to see her self-Confidence take such a bash.

I think you and me should pay knox a wee visit.

I think in this case

Physical confrontation could prove counterproductive.

If he wants to keep that piece, he has to pay for it.

Oh, absolutely.

There's more than one way of extracting payment

From a chap like knox.

Oh, hi.

- Oh. - How's the antique business going?

Well, it seems it's not a business after all,

Only a hobby.

This flowerbed's big enough for the both of us.

Where's archie?

He's off learning to speak american.

He wants to open a restaurant in new york.

See if you can talk some sense into him, molly.

That is marvelous!

No, it's not! ( scoffs )

It's not marvelous.

New york's so big,

- And anonymous, and far away, and... - Scary.

- We couldn't leave you here. - Oh, lexie.

I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself

Though i might not give that impression.

Doesn't the laird have some sort of duty or something?

Duty? Archie's done his duty.

Dear hector stood there like king knut,

Demanding the tide turn back.

But archie's worked his socks off and he's saved glenbogle.

If he wants to try his hand at something new,

I'm not going to stand in his way.

That's a nice piece of wood.

£750.

Well, i'm not buying.

I'm selling.

Hm, mid-Victorian.

Quite pretty, i suppose.

What's its provenance?

- Its what? - Where's it from?

It was a present. From my mother.

"e.R. Hughes."

He's not very well known. Could you leave it with me?

Sorry, forget it.

No, no, just so i can research it.

I'd hate to offer you too little, mr...?

- Mclintock, aloysius mclintock. - Let me look into it this evening.

- I'll give you a figure tomorrow. - Okay.

This has great sentimental value,

If anything were to happen to it...

I could get very sentimental indeed.

- Know what i mean? - Aye.

Come on, andy, you always wanted to run your own kitchen.

I need a scottish chef, you've got your green card...

Okay. Think about it.

All right, speak to you soon. Bye.

Are you taking reservations yet?

I'm just exploring the options.

It might all come to nothing

That's why i've not mentioned it.

Archie, i'm not your problem.

She's being so stubborn.

As soon as i asked her, she dismissed it out of hand.

Did you ask her, or did you tell her?

I might have been a little overenthusiastic.

Lexie's scared.

Glenbogle is the nearest thing she's ever had to a home.

And she's done almost as much as you have to save it.

Perhaps you should go without her.

What? I'd never do that.

Archie, i know that. But maybe you ought to tell her.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Can i help at all?

Just passing through. Do you have any original pieces or are they all repro?

Well, this lovely georgian lowboy, just in.

Yes, any paintings, etchings, watercolors?

What you see.

What about that? Could i have a look at that?

Certainly.

Why not?

There we go.

Oh dear...

Pretty frame, £50?

- For the frame? - For the whole thing.

( chuckles ) you realize this is an e.R. Hughes.

Yes, so it is. Well, you can't blame a chap for trying.

- £1,000? - I can't let it go for less than 10.

Oh dear, oh dear, and i thought this was a cultural backwater.

£9,000. You can have a check now, or i can give you cash tomorrow.

Yes, cash will do nicely.

There is some question over its provenance—

- I don't want to know where it came from, mr...? - Knox.

Knox. My name's jenkins.

If you'll keep it under the counter for me,

I'll return tomorrow noon.

- Excellent. I will do that. - Thanks very much.

See you then.

Uncle angus.

Do you know, i didn't think i had any family.

A distant cousin i'd meet one day, and swap stories with—

It turns out i've got you.

What stories could you tell?

You're barely out of short trousers.

You know when you woke up and you called me duncan?

Was it him you meant?

Was his name duncan?

That's your grandfather, the man you were named for.

My wee brother.

And that's you beside him?

You won this in the war, didn't you?

Duncan and i trained in bomb disposal.

It was my idea. ( inhales deeply )

I used to love making fireworks.

We never served together.

They said it wouldn't be a good idea.

The germans bombed his barracks.

He carried three men out of the fire...

And went back for the colors.

Then the last one went off.

He died for a flag.

It's not just a flag,

It's what it represents.

They gave me

His medal...

Posthumously.

You're his grandson,

It belongs to you.

What am i meant to do with it?

It's all the same to me.

Flog it. Buy something useful.

You don't have such a thing as

Chewing gum about your person?

They never let me have any in here.

Well, yeah. But is it a good idea?

I just gave you the bloody george cross.

It's not much of a swap, is it?

How long...

Would we be away for?

It takes time to build up a clientele.

Well, how much time? Six months?

More like two years.

I'm not going without you.

Would you believe a grown man

Could spend so much time drying flowers?

Do you take sugar?

No, no thanks.

- I didn't mean you to go to all this trouble. - It's no trouble at all.

- I've organized— - A biscuit?

No, really, i...

Okay, just the one.

I've organized a petition in the village,

And i've got people writing to kilwillie.

I don't want people getting into bother on our account.

Oh, they won't. Look, you have got rights.

He just can't go evicting people on a whim.

But lord kilwillie's letter said—

Don't take his word for it. Talk to a lawyer.

- Lawyers are so dear. - No, no, not if you win your case.

And you will. Look, i'll find you someone—

Thanks, lexie.

I'm sorry about the post office.

I know it's not fair, but...

We're too old for all this fuss and fighting.

Do you need more milk?

- Golly: £1, ooo? - Knox: cash, aye.

Okay, i'll take it.

In fact, a collector came in yesterday,

- He was very keen. - Really?

That's lucky right enough.

'tis, isn't it? An amazing coincidence, if you ask me.

Golly?

Is this young man a friend of yours, mr. Mclintock?

- Uh... - Mclintock? What's going on?

- Do you mind? - ( loud whisper ) where did you get that painting?

From a mutual acquaintance, okay?

- Did that come from glenbogle? - Excuse us.

I don't believe it! You just nicked it!

- How could you do that? - I did not nick it.

I know he's got loads of pictures.

It doesn't mean you can help yourself.

- Hello, andrew. - Duncan, knox is a rip-Off merchant, okay?

( scoffs ) that is rich coming from you.

He swindled molly out of an antique dresser.

We are here to wreak revenge.

By selling him an old painting.

It's not an old painting, it's a very new painting.

Oh no.

It doesn't matter, son. He was onto us anyway.

Well, all may not be lost quite yet.

You may even have done us a favor.

- You said what? - I told the nairns we'd find them a cottage on the estate.

There isn't a cottage unless you want me to evict somebody else.

- They're our neighbors. - You're making an issue out of this

Because you don't want to talk about new york.

You're avoiding the issue because you've already decided you're going.

Look lex, i know you're scared.

Who said i was scared?

- Oh right, well just take his side then. - Lexie, i—

She didn't take my side. She said i couldn't leave without asking your permission.

- I didn't say that. - If you want the place to yourself, just say the word.

Will you just tell me what it is i'm doing with my life?

Will you just shut up? What you two really need is a good spanking.

But since you're too big for that,

I suggest you discuss it as man and wife and leave me out of it.

Ah, mr. Mclintock.

Where's your young friend?

He thought i was somebody else.

I disabused him of that notion.

I don't believe you got this painting from your mother.

She was somebody's mother just not mine.

- Won't she miss it? - I've had it for over a year, she hasn't missed it yet.

- It's worth 10,000. I'll take one. - 500.

500.

500...

I'll take the sideboard, plus 100 cash,

For my expenses.

Aye.

- ( door opens ) - Kilwillie: oh!

Archie.

What's the matter?

I was wondering if your wife was with you.

Last time i saw her, she was rather on the warpath.

Yes, i'm sorry about that.

That's partly the reason i'm here.

- Oh? - I've made some telephone calls about the restaurant,

And i think i might have found you a chef.

Oh, archie, you've excelled yourself.

I thought you were just looking for a manager.

The thing is i'd rather fancy that post for myself.

- For yourself? - Please don't tell me the job's gone,

- I— i will look like a total idiot. - Of course it hasn't gone.

- Delighted to have you aboard, dear fellow. - Thank you.

There is one condition. It's about the nairns.

Ah.

I'm not going to tell you how to run your estate,

But unless the nairns are sorted out, lexie won't go.

And if lexie doesn't go, then i can't go.

- I see. - I know it's not my position to tell you this.

Oh, on the contrary. I'm embarrassed it took another gentleman

To remind me of my obligations.

The matter of the nairns will be settled happily, i promise.

- Thank you. - And you'll get lexie to call off the dogs?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course.

So, you're off to see the world.

Well, new york anyway.

Oh, to be young again and fit for the fray.

Come on, you're hardly in your dotage.

I can't go gallivanting off round the globe.

Why not?

Well, for one thing, it's all so...

Foreign.

Hello, knox antiques.

Mr. Knox? Simon jenkins.

- Ah, hello. - Have you still got my painting?

( chuckles ) it's not your painting yet.

No, no, of course not. I'm just about to collect your money.

I just wanted to ask you one thing about the signature.

E.R. Hughes, aye?

It's just that...

I rather think

Hughes would have signed his paintings in oil, don't you?

Eh?

Magic marker?

- Is something wrong? - Aye! You two!

- You conniving pair of— - Dear me.

That's no way to speak to your customers.

Oh, marjorie.

- Is anything the— - ( door slams )

Honestly, next time you hire a cook,

Try to find one that knows the term cholesterol.

Eggs fried in butter, why not just hang yourself?

Save the electricity.

I've bally well had just about enough of this!

Don't you raise your voice to me.

You can insult my neighbors, evict my tenants,

And drive away my staff, but you will not mess with my menu!

You're making my life an utter misery

And i won't stand it! Do you hear?

( tearfully ) sharon, don't you dare...

And don't call me sharon!

( sobbing ) you ungrateful, insensitive beast!

If i make your life a misery,

It's only 'cause i care about you.

50 quid?

It took me two days to knock off that painting.

Done this sort of thing before, haven't you?

I've met characters like knox before, if that's what you mean.

No, it isn't. The way you ran this whole sting.

You did all the work. And extremely well, if i may say, for an amateur.

I have a—

I have a colorful past.

Involving forged paintings?

I like to think of them as homage.

Homage?

Is that why you moved up here?

One homage too many?

I moved up here to retire.

I left all that behind.

Do we have to talk about this, golly? To anyone?

So the lairds have settled the matter like gentlemen?

- Lex, i've done what i can. - Let's get out of here before anything else goes wrong.

I'm glad that being the laird's wife means so much to you.

Really, i am.

But i don't expect my tenants to give up their lives for me.

- Yeah, but— - And they don't expect me to give up mine.

From now on, all work's going to be done in-House.

I've learnt my lesson.

I think mr. Knox has too.

- ( laughs ) - What, you don't mean that you—

It was purely poetic justice. I assure you.

Thank you both so much!

It is wonderful to have friends

Still to protect me from crooks and conmen.

All right, arch?

Could you give us a hand with my uncle's stuff?

- ( panting ) - What is in this thing anyway, gold bullion?

Hey...

Eh, that could do with a wash.

It's the colors!

My granddad died to save this flag.

What did he do in the war? Great-Uncle angus?

Bomb disposal.

So is that what i think it is?

It can't be real. They would have taken the explosives out, wouldn't they?

Maybe we should check.

It seems to be...

Okay, don't panic.

You get on the phone and call somebody.

- Telephone. - It's not the police, is it?

Hello?

Hello, uncle angus, it's duncan. You know that trunk you had?

- No. - Yeah, you do. The big blue metal one.

- No. - The one with the flag in.

Oh, that one. Aye.

- Och, no! - Och, yes.

- It was only a souvenir. - So it's not dangerous?

Of course not. It's defused.

I mean... I think it's defused.

He doesn't know if it's defused or not.

Give it to me. Mr. Mckay, how do we tell if it's still live?

Uh, is it ticking?

See if it's ticking.

- When he says ticking, does he mean— - Ticking, like a clock!

Well, it wasn't, but...

Hello? Who is this?

Mr. Mckay, this is archie macdonald.

We're stuck in the cellar on the glenbogle

With this thing and it is ticking!

I thought you said it was defused!

It was supposed to be defused.

Someone's idea of a joke.

- Look, i gotta hang up and call the bomb squad. - No!

- They take hours to get to glenbogle. - How much time have we got?

About seven minutes.

- Seven mi— - If you can't get out,

You'll have to try and defuse it yourself. Have you got any tools?

- Yes, but— - There's no time for buts.

You could wait for it to go off or you can try to stop it.

- It's up to you. - Well, just tell me what to do.

Get a large screwdriver.

Find the detonation cylinder. It'll be at the front.

- Right. - ( phone clangs )

Take this.

Okay, tell him i've got it.

All right, he's got it.

Unscrew it very, very gently.

Unscrew it very gently.

- Okay. - Right, he's done it.

Lift out the detonator. Don't let it touch the sides.

There should be three wires

Between the detonator and the bomb.

Cut the, uh... The red one.

He says you've got to cut the red wire.

I can't see which one is the red one. There's not enough light.

- Hang on. - Whatever you do, don't—

- Don't what? - Hello, uncle?

Oh my god, i've unplugged the phone!

Duncan? Duncan?

Hello! Hello, uncle angus!

You daft wee maggot, you near give me a heart attack.

I said don't cut anything else.

Here, duncan, pass the torch.

I still can't see which is the red one.

They must have faded with age.

Scrape some of the sheathing away.

Don't touch the copper.

Scrape the sheathing away, but don't touch the copper.

Red, this one's red. Okay.

Dunc, the pliers, i can't get the pliers.

He says he can't get to the pliers.

What? Oh.

- Stand back. - What for?

- This is insane. - I know.

I've got a much better pair of pliers just upstairs.

( exhales ) it stopped.

- ( both panting ) - It stopped.

Duncan? Duncan, pick up the phone!

Uncle angus, it stopped. It stopped. You did it!

Tell archie to put the detonator back in

Very carefully.

You'll be all right.

As long as there's no secondary timer.

He says we'll be fine as—

What do you mean secondary timer?

- ( ticking ) - It's ticking again.

You've still got some time.

You just need a mole wrench.

We don't have a mole wrench.

An adjustable spanner. Anything.

We've got a screwdriver and some sticky tape. That's it!

Can you flood the bomb? Or freeze it?

Uh... Wh-What if we put some sandbags

And stuff around it? Would that do?

Oh, duncan,

It won't make a blind bit of difference.

I'm sorry.

Uh... No...

Don't— don't be sorry, uncle...

It's okay.

- ( door rattles ) - Molly: hello? Archie?

Mother! Mother!

What on earth?

You get her out of here, i'll check the rest of the house.

Lex!

( panting ) we're leaving now.

This is your idea of a discussion, is it?

I'll talk about new york, but i'm not taking orders.

- We can argue on the way. - You're so unbelievably arrogant.

For once would you shut up and do what you're told?

There's a bomb in the cellar.

- Oh, please. - A great big world war ii german bomb.

Would you like me to take you down there and show it to you?

Where's duncan?

- He said something about a flag. - Archie: oh no.

- What flag? - It's his grandfather's regimental colors.

- Golly: how long has he got? - Not long.

Duncan!

Duncan!

Come on!

Come on, dunc!

- Come on! - Come on, boy, move!

- Lexie: come on! It will be all right. - Come on, come on.

I'm sorry about the damage.

I'll pay for it. I'll sell the medal.

- No, no, no. That's your history. - Molly: my house!

- Archie? - There might still be time to flood the cellar.

- No, archie! - This is our home, lex.

We can live anywhere. We can live in— in new york.

Five, four,

Three, two, one!

( gasps ) oh, i'm sorry. My watch is a bit fast.

Is that it?

It's unbelievable, it's still standing.

Look at her! Hardly a tile out of place.

It'd take more than one nazi bomb to see off glenbogle.

Still, it made a hell of a mess.

We're going to need a structural survey to assess the damage.

- I'll have some rooms made ready at once. - No, it wasn't a hint.

My dear boy, my home is yours!

No, we should be all right.

As long as nobody slams any doors. ( chuckles )

It's going to be quite a job overseeing repairs from new york.

I'm sorry, kilwillie, i can't.

Of course you can't, old man.

Never fear, i'll find another manager.

There's only one laird of glenbogle.

In fact...

Since you are staying on to look after your place,

I was wondering if you'd keep an eye on mine.

Dorothy means well,

But she can be afflicted with radical ideas,

And i rather think she'd listen to you.

- Where are you going to be? - Anywhere and everywhere, archie.

You've quite inspired me.

The american west, the australian outback, the mysterious orient,

The world is my oyster and i'm going to gulp it down while it's still in season.

Well, good for you.

Have you... Have you told mother that you're going away?

Uh, no.

No, i thought you might do that for me.

You probably know i've got something of a soft spot for molly.

Yes, i probably do.

In fact, there was a time—

Well never mind that now.

Maybe i should step aside for a while.

Give someone else a chance.

Certainly not!

I was rather hoping that absence might make the heart grow fonder.

I'm gonna miss you, kilwillie.

Oh, stop it.

No, i will.

I mean it, archie.

Stop it.

I don't know what came over me, lex.

I do. I should have seen it earlier.

You're just a wee boy who craves adventure.

It wasn't until i thought i might lose this place

That i realized how much i'm part of it.

So much you'd never leave?

Exactly.

Archie, let's just stay here.

Home is where your heart is.

Home is also where the towels are.

Did you forget to bring towels?

I think you forgot to bring the towels.

Well, we're gonna have to make a run for it.

- Okay. - ( giggling )

- You ready? - Yes.

- One... - Both: two, three, go!