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{\an8}Lindy Littlejohn,
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00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:09,793
{\an8}accused of plagiarizing
her short story
3
00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:11,011
{\an8}by the author's own daughter.
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,214
{\an8}-She stole it
from one of her students.
5
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,841
She's a liar.
You'll regret it.
6
00:00:15,874 --> 00:00:17,968
I am her literal regret.
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00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:19,803
{\an8}Young Lulu: "I dream of a life
without a daughter,
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00:00:19,836 --> 00:00:21,513
sucking at the teat
of inspiration."
9
00:00:21,547 --> 00:00:23,056
Mom hates me.
10
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,641
The Pulitzer committee
is meeting
11
00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:26,018
and there's talk
of rescinding your award.
12
00:00:26,051 --> 00:00:27,352
What am I without it?
13
00:00:27,386 --> 00:00:28,562
A former client.
14
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,022
Eight packs
of toilet paper?
15
00:00:30,055 --> 00:00:31,023
Hundreds.
16
00:00:31,056 --> 00:00:32,399
I'm his fucking lab rat.
17
00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:34,401
You're having an affair
with my physicist?
18
00:00:37,062 --> 00:00:38,322
No!
19
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,408
Richard.
20
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:42,576
Have I killed a man?
21
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:43,994
You're alive!
22
00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:46,747
Les has 30 days
to solve the formula
23
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,166
or he's fired and the tech
reverts to Hilton.
24
00:00:49,199 --> 00:00:50,834
Another fuckin' lie!
25
00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,711
I need space from you.
26
00:00:52,744 --> 00:00:54,504
- Fucking Les.
- Oh, fuck!
27
00:00:54,538 --> 00:00:57,174
You can't solve the formula.
28
00:00:57,207 --> 00:01:00,510
And I plan to make
the next 21 days of your life
29
00:01:00,544 --> 00:01:02,554
a living hell.
30
00:01:19,605 --> 00:01:20,998
Les.
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00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:24,743
You're stuck in a bad dream.
32
00:01:24,776 --> 00:01:27,204
We both are.
33
00:01:27,237 --> 00:01:29,256
Les, wake up.
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00:01:32,909 --> 00:01:36,346
Lindy, you're you.
35
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,548
I'm me.
36
00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:40,050
Is it over?
37
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:41,218
It is for me.
38
00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:42,219
What happened?
39
00:01:42,252 --> 00:01:44,137
I lost my Pulitzer.
40
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:48,642
I was outed as a plagiarist
by our daughter.
41
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:51,269
Oh.
She's so clever
42
00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:53,105
and bright.
43
00:01:53,138 --> 00:01:55,198
Loathes me.
44
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:58,318
But not you.
- I'm sorry.
45
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:01,071
I would be devastated
if she loathed me.
46
00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:03,073
It's all right, really.
47
00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:04,783
I am a fraud.
48
00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:06,326
One book.
49
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,454
I'm relieved.
- That was your prize.
50
00:02:09,488 --> 00:02:11,915
Now that I've solved
the formula,
51
00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,834
I'm gonna get mine.
52
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:16,128
Oh, you're confused.
53
00:02:16,161 --> 00:02:17,754
You didn't solve anything.
54
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:20,257
You're never going
to get your prize.
55
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,259
You're a fraud, too.
56
00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:24,261
Then I need you
to respect me, Lindy.
57
00:02:24,294 --> 00:02:26,013
I can't be alone.
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00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,597
You are alone.
59
00:02:27,631 --> 00:02:30,017
But you're here.
60
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,652
Am I?
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00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:34,821
Wake up!
62
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,163
Lindy?
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00:02:45,857 --> 00:02:47,668
I'm still here, Les.
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00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:51,788
No, you're not.
65
00:02:51,822 --> 00:02:54,124
And I'm dreaming.
66
00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:55,342
No.
67
00:02:56,368 --> 00:02:58,095
This is real.
68
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,889
I'm right here.
69
00:03:06,503 --> 00:03:08,605
Boo!
70
00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:14,478
Where are you?
71
00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:15,812
Lindy.
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00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:17,022
Where are you?
73
00:03:17,055 --> 00:03:18,315
Lindy.
74
00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,585
Guilt won't let you sleep.
75
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,388
You're the one
who should be feeling guilty!
76
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,141
Me?
- Yes!
77
00:03:44,508 --> 00:03:45,600
Richard.
78
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,512
Dolores.
79
00:03:48,545 --> 00:03:50,730
I can't do this. I can't--
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00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:53,900
found you.
81
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:58,071
You sadist.
82
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,330
Shit.
83
00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:11,368
Dr. Carmichael said...
84
00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:14,037
Oh, fuck that bitch
and fuck you!
85
00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:16,039
Les,
that is a red-light reaction.
86
00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:17,457
Oh, you're in my head.
87
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:18,792
You're in my head,
you're in my head,
88
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:19,960
you're in my head,
you're in my--oh!
89
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,044
Oh! Oh, God!
90
00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:22,045
Dr. Carmichael says
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00:04:22,078 --> 00:04:24,047
we can't be afraid to expose
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00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,257
our naked selves,
93
00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:26,633
even if it makes us feel
94
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,886
vulnerable and scared.
95
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,159
We're goin' God mode.
96
00:04:46,478 --> 00:04:48,238
Connect, connect,
connect, connect,
97
00:04:48,271 --> 00:04:50,407
connect, connect, connect.
98
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,577
You have no power
if you have no power!
99
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:56,079
Don't you dare touch
that circuit breaker, Les.
100
00:04:56,112 --> 00:04:57,130
I will crush you.
101
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:01,793
I touch what I wanna touch.
102
00:05:01,827 --> 00:05:04,421
I exist without restraint.
103
00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:06,673
You live in darkness.
104
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:10,427
Full fucking throttle.
105
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:13,972
You will tremble to think
of all the things I can do
106
00:05:14,005 --> 00:05:15,190
while you sleep.
107
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,144
Sun's out, buns out.
108
00:05:19,177 --> 00:05:20,487
Oh.
109
00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:27,110
Fuck this!
110
00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:29,362
I'm checking into
the Courtyard Marriott.
111
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,947
Uh-uh,
if you don't come home,
112
00:05:30,981 --> 00:05:33,950
I will report myself
a missing person.
113
00:05:33,984 --> 00:05:35,160
You wouldn't.
114
00:05:35,193 --> 00:05:36,536
I would.
115
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,788
I will Gone Girl
myself.
116
00:05:38,822 --> 00:05:41,208
How are you gonna explain
your actions to the police?
117
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,335
You monster!
I'm your monster,
118
00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:44,794
Dr. Franken-fuck.
119
00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:55,855
Uh, oh, my bad.
120
00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:07,534
Enough to wipe your ass
for 192 days.
121
00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:09,369
Trust me.
122
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,624
You're my prisoner now.
123
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{\an8}Hello?
124
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,216
Hello.
125
00:06:31,249 --> 00:06:33,176
Hi, Martin. Hi. Uh, yes.
126
00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:35,220
Are you sleeping?
Your eyes were open.
127
00:06:35,253 --> 00:06:36,429
No, I was resting.
128
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:39,015
It's been a long,
um, long life.
129
00:06:39,049 --> 00:06:41,851
Are you able to...
to receive information?
130
00:06:41,885 --> 00:06:43,853
Because we've got a problem.
131
00:06:43,887 --> 00:06:44,896
What is the problem?
132
00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:46,523
Oh, problem is that Hilton
133
00:06:46,556 --> 00:06:51,236
has moved up the investor
presentation to tomorrow.
134
00:06:51,269 --> 00:06:53,863
He was so impressed
with your little party trick.
135
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,532
So was Dr. Schaffhausen.
136
00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:58,785
I'm gonna get the Nobel Prize
in Sweden.
137
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:02,247
Uh, the King--
- Les, buddy,
138
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,375
unless you can figure out
the formula,
139
00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:07,043
there is no Nobel.
140
00:07:07,077 --> 00:07:09,212
- I've--
- No, there is no lab.
141
00:07:09,245 --> 00:07:11,756
There is no you,
there is no me.
142
00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:14,217
There is fraud.
143
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,304
There is a lawsuit.
144
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:22,434
There is maximum-security
prison.
145
00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:24,561
And Hilton's smug face.
146
00:07:24,594 --> 00:07:26,062
I can sleep in prison.
147
00:07:26,096 --> 00:07:28,064
Why are you like this?
148
00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:31,735
- Lindy.
- Is this about the-the scandal?
149
00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:34,404
Because I have a lot of
conflicting Lindy information.
150
00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:35,780
She is conflict.
151
00:07:35,814 --> 00:07:37,490
She's--yeah. I need a--
152
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,616
I need a minute now.
153
00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,410
Take 20, take 30.
154
00:07:40,443 --> 00:07:42,746
But make it fast.
155
00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:46,750
Because if you can't figure
this out, we are dead.
156
00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:50,637
Dead in the holy water.
157
00:08:01,506 --> 00:08:04,225
woman [on recording]: You've
elected to try something new.
158
00:08:04,259 --> 00:08:06,311
You've decided
to take control
159
00:08:06,344 --> 00:08:08,730
of your anger and rage.
160
00:08:08,763 --> 00:08:11,316
Surprise yourself
and those around you
161
00:08:11,349 --> 00:08:14,527
by finding an alternative
to lashing out
162
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:17,030
and emotionally baiting
your loved ones.
163
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,239
By channeling...
- What?
164
00:08:18,273 --> 00:08:19,991
woman: ...inner peace
165
00:08:20,025 --> 00:08:23,828
and reconnecting
with your better self.
166
00:08:23,862 --> 00:08:25,038
You're in there somewhere--
167
00:08:27,532 --> 00:08:29,084
Oh, yeah.
168
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,543
Oh, yes. Accept.
169
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,754
Hello. Hi.
Hi, I thought you hated me.
170
00:08:32,787 --> 00:08:35,173
I do.
Turn on the "Today" show.
171
00:08:35,206 --> 00:08:38,009
Oh, fuck. Why?
What--this fuckin' nightmare.
172
00:08:38,043 --> 00:08:40,095
This is gonna put both
of us in the fucking ground.
173
00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,846
Well, what the fuck now?
174
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,348
Jackie.
- No.
175
00:08:43,381 --> 00:08:44,557
Jenna.
- No!
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00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:45,517
I have to go.
177
00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:46,609
No, no, no!
178
00:08:47,886 --> 00:08:49,729
Any idea
what she's gonna say?
179
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,231
Nope.
180
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,615
Power move.
181
00:09:04,569 --> 00:09:06,004
I know you hate me.
182
00:09:07,072 --> 00:09:08,540
But I hate me more.
- Get up.
183
00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,041
Let me die.
I totally want to,
184
00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:12,419
but the "Today" show.
185
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,629
- What the fuck now?
- Jackie.
186
00:09:14,662 --> 00:09:16,714
...author Lindy
Littlejohn's career comeback
187
00:09:16,748 --> 00:09:17,816
- Yeah?
- Jenna.
188
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,300
...and subsequent
plagiarism scandal.
189
00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:20,718
Joining us today
via satellite
190
00:09:20,752 --> 00:09:22,387
is the student rumored
to have written
191
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:23,888
the short story...
- Oh, fuck yeah.
192
00:09:23,922 --> 00:09:25,765
...Jackie Baldwin.
Jackie, welcome.
193
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,308
What a whirlwind.
194
00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:29,978
Jenna, what an honor
to be here.
195
00:09:30,011 --> 00:09:31,729
I mean, I'm such a fan.
196
00:09:31,763 --> 00:09:35,400
I love how you love books
as much as I do.
197
00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:37,402
{\an8}Jenna, let me begin by saying
198
00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:39,454
{\an8}Professor Littlejohn
is my hero.
199
00:09:40,255 --> 00:09:42,907
{\an8}My Rainbow Starts With Black
changed my life.
200
00:09:42,941 --> 00:09:46,995
{\an8}It's as if she saw
into my soul.
201
00:09:47,028 --> 00:09:48,621
{\an8}Yeah.
- Well, now,
202
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:49,831
{\an8}there are questions
about the authenticity
203
00:09:49,864 --> 00:09:50,957
{\an8}of that novel, too.
204
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,168
{\an8}Okay, which is some bullshit!
205
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,128
{\an8}Please, Jackie, help me.
Help me, Jackie.
206
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,463
{\an8}Please, please, please.
Professor Littlejohn
207
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,590
{\an8}is the reason I wanted
to become a writer.
208
00:09:58,623 --> 00:10:01,009
{\an8}She's a paragon
of inspiration.
209
00:10:01,042 --> 00:10:03,094
{\an8}To think that
Professor Littlejohn
210
00:10:03,128 --> 00:10:06,815
{\an8}would be capable
of plagiarism is...
211
00:10:08,383 --> 00:10:09,309
is heartbreaking.
212
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,102
I mean,
213
00:10:11,136 --> 00:10:12,604
being in this position
214
00:10:12,637 --> 00:10:15,940
is my worst nightmare
realized.
215
00:10:15,974 --> 00:10:17,442
Jesus.
216
00:10:17,475 --> 00:10:18,443
She's good.
- She's good.
217
00:10:18,476 --> 00:10:19,944
"Untitled on Purpose"
218
00:10:19,978 --> 00:10:22,197
is a captivating
and entertaining read.
219
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,449
The question everyone
is asking is,
220
00:10:24,482 --> 00:10:26,159
who wrote it?
221
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,786
{\an8}-Professor Littlejohn,
if you're watching,
222
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:30,830
and I sure hope you are,
223
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:34,209
I have no choice
but to tell the truth.
224
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,507
{\an8}-Professor Littlejohn
is the true author
225
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,217
{\an8}of "Untitled on Purpose."
226
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,385
Why? What? Yes!
227
00:10:44,419 --> 00:10:46,346
What? Thank you.
228
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:50,892
I'm merely a humble
graduate student doing...
229
00:10:50,925 --> 00:10:52,519
- Oh, God.
- Oh, God.
230
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,855
Your publisher better have
deep fucking pockets.
231
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,732
Well played, Hel.
232
00:10:57,765 --> 00:10:59,400
Well fucking played.
233
00:10:59,434 --> 00:11:01,402
And nice touch sending her
to Montana, too.
234
00:11:01,436 --> 00:11:02,654
Keeps her folksy.
235
00:11:02,687 --> 00:11:03,696
I am no
Professor Littlejohn.
236
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,324
Teach me everything you know.
237
00:11:06,357 --> 00:11:08,159
{\an8}-It saddens me
that her daughter...
238
00:11:08,193 --> 00:11:09,494
{\an8}She's lying.
- ...would accuse
239
00:11:09,527 --> 00:11:10,912
{\an8}her own mother of such a...
240
00:11:10,945 --> 00:11:13,548
You don't know me,
Jackie Baldwin!
241
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:17,210
I am not lying.
242
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:20,338
She is lying about the lying.
243
00:11:20,371 --> 00:11:22,715
Your mom's fans
are fuckin' toxic.
244
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,717
Yeah.
Everybody hates me.
245
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,386
The chick-lit
hashtaggers are strapping
246
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,929
on their heels for battle.
247
00:11:27,962 --> 00:11:30,515
But they loved me yesterday.
248
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,359
Richard, do I have
thoughts today?
249
00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:44,529
Um, Richard's not here.
250
00:11:44,562 --> 00:11:46,247
Oh, yes, you're right.
He's dead.
251
00:11:46,648 --> 00:11:48,366
Uh, no.
252
00:11:48,399 --> 00:11:50,410
I think he's just
in Collinsville.
253
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,579
Is that Shakespearean
for heaven?
254
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,705
It--it's a suburb.
255
00:11:53,738 --> 00:11:55,173
Oh, lovely.
256
00:11:58,076 --> 00:12:00,920
Bob, explain
what I should implement.
257
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,097
Uh...
258
00:12:04,415 --> 00:12:05,642
You're not Bob.
259
00:12:06,251 --> 00:12:07,118
I'm Bob.
260
00:12:07,151 --> 00:12:09,270
There's something different
about you.
261
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:11,981
- I'm Bob the New Explainer.
- Janet?
262
00:12:12,615 --> 00:12:14,642
What's happening?
Where's Bob-Bob?
263
00:12:14,676 --> 00:12:16,728
Bob is not here.
264
00:12:16,761 --> 00:12:18,146
No explanation.
265
00:12:18,179 --> 00:12:21,065
- What's going on?
- Um, he seems off.
266
00:12:21,099 --> 00:12:23,785
Les, come.
267
00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:31,784
- There's a new Bob.
- That's right.
268
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,578
The other Bob spoke
to a journalist.
269
00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:35,747
We do not do that.
You know the protocol.
270
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,165
Let's reset.
271
00:12:37,198 --> 00:12:38,633
Tell me what you see.
272
00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:44,922
Better yet,
tell me what you don't see.
273
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:52,480
Curve.
274
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,025
Follow the curve.
275
00:12:57,302 --> 00:12:58,903
Continue the curve.
276
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:11,991
We need a curve.
277
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,661
Uh, I don't know
what kind of curve,
278
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:18,089
but not a straight line,
279
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,675
a curve...
280
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,178
to infinity.
281
00:13:25,046 --> 00:13:27,799
If the corn stabilizes
for three minutes,
282
00:13:27,832 --> 00:13:31,352
we'll have reached
limitless stabilization.
283
00:13:34,005 --> 00:13:35,773
And the math?
284
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,027
Dr. Littlejohn?
285
00:13:41,346 --> 00:13:43,648
Well, the equation.
286
00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:46,534
The curve. Um...
287
00:13:53,191 --> 00:13:55,076
We have 24 hours.
288
00:13:55,109 --> 00:13:56,536
You can do this.
289
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:57,795
You need to sleep.
290
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:00,998
You're welcome to stay
at my place,
291
00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:02,834
in my guestroom.
292
00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:05,553
The mattress is Tempur-Pedic,
medium firm.
293
00:14:07,622 --> 00:14:09,507
I'm here for you, Les.
294
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,392
I am wherever
you need me to be,
295
00:14:12,126 --> 00:14:16,013
for work or anything
296
00:14:16,047 --> 00:14:18,441
other than work, too.
297
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,655
I can't.
My wife is expecting me.
298
00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:28,242
I see.
I understand.
299
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:30,578
Then go home.
300
00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:33,614
But do whatever you have to do
301
00:14:33,648 --> 00:14:36,834
to rest and think.
302
00:14:37,235 --> 00:14:39,746
Defend your mental space.
303
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,457
Defend my mental space.
304
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,842
Get creative.
305
00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:53,301
So, is that it? Is it over?
306
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:54,844
You're welcome.
307
00:14:54,877 --> 00:14:57,138
- What happened?
- Hell.
308
00:14:57,171 --> 00:15:00,016
I have been through hell.
You have no idea.
309
00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:01,809
No, you have no idea.
310
00:15:01,843 --> 00:15:04,103
So my Pulitzer?
311
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,488
You get to keep it.
312
00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:08,441
And my editor?
313
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,692
Still on the roster.
314
00:15:12,895 --> 00:15:14,664
And my best friend?
315
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,036
Waitlisted-ish.
316
00:15:20,069 --> 00:15:23,039
Fair.
I deserve an -ish.
317
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,124
I'm just relieved
not to be dropped.
318
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,294
So everybody wins, right?
319
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:32,715
You, me,
Jackie Baldwin, I'm assuming?
320
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:34,342
Raked over the money
coals, yes,
321
00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:36,385
but worth it, I think.
322
00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,720
Oh, you're welcome.
323
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:40,807
Too soon.
- Fair. Fair. Yes.
324
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,686
Um, listen,
there is one casualty.
325
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,730
Someone's gotta
take the fall.
326
00:15:47,763 --> 00:15:49,866
Oh, fuck.
327
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,152
Lulu.
328
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,196
#StLuluDeLulu.
329
00:15:55,229 --> 00:15:58,866
Is it bad-bad?
330
00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:01,494
She's tough,
and it's the internet,
331
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:05,590
so tomorrow it'll be someone
else's something else.
332
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,168
Jackie's on,
and not the folksy one.
333
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,337
I gotta run.
Congrats, I think.
334
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,306
Thank--
335
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,891
Jesus.
336
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,875
Lulu [on recording]:
You're old. Text me.
337
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,376
Of course.
338
00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:10,396
It's your mom.
339
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:11,898
She says,
"Lulu, please come home."
340
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,399
Delete it.
No.
341
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,734
Yes!
342
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,236
No!
You should go home.
343
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,121
Talk to her.
344
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:23,075
She had her student lie
345
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,411
so that I could be crushed
on social media
346
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,747
and she can keep
her precious fucking award.
347
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,248
That is all she cares about.
348
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,458
You don't know
she actually did that.
349
00:17:30,491 --> 00:17:31,751
I have proof
350
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,252
that she stole that story.
351
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,921
I will not let her
get away with this.
352
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:35,922
What are you gonna do?
353
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,298
Make another TikTok?
354
00:17:37,331 --> 00:17:38,591
Maybe I should.
355
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,009
Or go on the "Today" show.
356
00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:41,510
You're just looking
for more drama.
357
00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,095
You're like a drama junkie.
358
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,231
- So is she.
- Finally!
359
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,643
Now you see my point?
360
00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,311
She reached out.
361
00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:52,980
She wants to see you.
362
00:17:53,014 --> 00:17:55,608
She is breaking a pattern
and so should you.
363
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:07,670
And we will be talking
about Shirtless Mike later.
364
00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:15,461
You fellows have traveled
a great distance
365
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,130
following a northern star,
gifts in hand,
366
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:20,800
and your faith was rewarded, right?
367
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:25,554
And in my own way, I have
traveled a great distance
368
00:18:25,588 --> 00:18:27,640
following my heart's
North Star,
369
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:30,142
only to be rejected,
and tortured,
370
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:32,645
and traumatized
that I'm losing my faith.
371
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,690
I'm...
372
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:39,201
I'm losing my faith, in faith.
373
00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:44,240
I'm in dire need
of some kind of sign.
374
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:48,160
A reason, a purpose,
a direction, a--
375
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,176
Your existence
is complicated,
376
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,262
but I thank you anyway.
377
00:19:09,423 --> 00:19:11,517
Well, you've restored
my faith.
378
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,568
In what?
379
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,104
In life.
380
00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:17,440
Hi.
- Hi.
381
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:19,859
I-I know you're on
a mini signed sabbatical
382
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,944
caring for a loved one
right now,
383
00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:24,530
and I hate
to bother you, but...
384
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,700
Janet,
you are never a bother.
385
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,952
Well, um, I'm glad.
386
00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:31,287
What's going on?
387
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,041
Um, Les is not good.
388
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,710
- Oh, I know.
- You know?
389
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:41,380
I--well, you know,
we work together so closely
390
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,965
that it's like
a twin-flame thing.
391
00:19:42,998 --> 00:19:48,304
I--I can feel it, even if
I can't see it in... in person.
392
00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:52,058
Uh, thing is,
we need him good,
393
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,268
like great.
394
00:19:54,301 --> 00:19:57,313
He's too exhausted to string
a coherent sentence together
395
00:19:57,346 --> 00:19:59,774
and the investor presentation
is tomorrow.
396
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:02,902
Wait. Tomorrow?
397
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,487
Yeah, Hilton's whim.
398
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,281
Oh. So, how can I be helpful?
399
00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:09,909
Uh, I wish you could
talk to him.
400
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,577
Get him back on track.
401
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,079
I mean, he thinks
402
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,999
you're in, like, heaven?
403
00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:19,135
I'm nearby.
404
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,339
man [over PA]: Johnny,
we need the forklift.
405
00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:26,350
Johnny, bring back
the forklift.
406
00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:29,261
♪ Down in Jamaica ♪
407
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,806
♪ They got lots ♪
♪ Of pretty women ♪
408
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:33,682
♪ Steal your money ♪
409
00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:35,518
♪ Then they break ♪
♪ Your heart ♪
410
00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:37,478
♪ Lonesome Sue ♪
411
00:20:37,511 --> 00:20:40,773
♪ She's in love ♪
♪ With old Sam ♪
412
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,109
♪ Take him from the fire ♪
♪ Into the frying pan ♪
413
00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:44,410
Great choice.
414
00:20:45,227 --> 00:20:46,779
It's my favorite.
415
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:48,998
Would it get through
a bedroom door easily?
416
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,284
Like a hot knife
through butter.
417
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,286
Yes, please.
418
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,621
♪ ...when she feels ♪
♪ Like crying ♪
419
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,873
Question, um, Chuck,
420
00:20:57,907 --> 00:21:01,127
if you had a very clever,
determined,
421
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,171
angry mouse that was keeping
you up all night,
422
00:21:04,205 --> 00:21:06,298
driving you fucking insane...
- I hate mice.
423
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:08,676
...what would you use
to slow her down?
424
00:21:08,709 --> 00:21:09,969
Let me ask you this.
425
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,637
Are you lookin' for somethin'
426
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:15,107
humane or inhumane?
427
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,980
Let me show you both options.
- Yes, please.
428
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,907
♪ And starts to cry ♪
429
00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:28,863
I'll wait to hear from you
with, um, bells on.
430
00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:30,122
Fare thee well.
431
00:21:35,778 --> 00:21:36,871
Oh.
432
00:21:36,904 --> 00:21:40,249
Um... um...
433
00:21:40,282 --> 00:21:42,376
I was on a personal call.
434
00:21:42,409 --> 00:21:44,920
I apologize. I cannot lie.
435
00:21:44,954 --> 00:21:46,380
Why do you look like that?
436
00:21:46,413 --> 00:21:48,265
- Nervous?
- Glowing.
437
00:21:48,999 --> 00:21:51,051
When you hung up with
whoever you were speaking to,
438
00:21:51,085 --> 00:21:53,637
you smiled and glowed.
439
00:21:53,671 --> 00:21:55,973
- Am I in trouble?
- Not yet.
440
00:21:56,006 --> 00:21:57,474
I'm curious.
441
00:21:57,508 --> 00:22:01,478
I was talking to,
um, someone special.
442
00:22:01,512 --> 00:22:03,230
You're in a relationship?
443
00:22:03,264 --> 00:22:05,783
No, no, no.
The someone special already...
444
00:22:06,767 --> 00:22:08,786
has a someone special.
445
00:22:10,104 --> 00:22:12,281
Am I fired?
- Isn't it anti-feminist
446
00:22:12,314 --> 00:22:13,490
to be considered
the other woman?
447
00:22:13,524 --> 00:22:14,658
I'm sorry?
448
00:22:14,692 --> 00:22:15,910
Your Instagram account.
449
00:22:15,943 --> 00:22:19,288
"Janet Colgate, physicist,
450
00:22:19,321 --> 00:22:22,124
feminist, celiac."
451
00:22:22,157 --> 00:22:24,752
You're on Instagram?
In a way. I lurk.
452
00:22:24,785 --> 00:22:27,846
I research... everyone.
453
00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,390
Janet...
454
00:22:32,293 --> 00:22:33,761
you're the other woman?
455
00:22:33,794 --> 00:22:37,565
Oh, I-I don't think
I have that status yet.
456
00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:40,150
Same. Hmm.
457
00:22:44,305 --> 00:22:46,574
Mom, I'm here. Let's talk.
458
00:22:48,726 --> 00:22:49,560
Mom?
459
00:22:49,593 --> 00:22:51,078
Lindy [on megaphone]:
I'm in here.
460
00:22:52,479 --> 00:22:55,165
Where?
In the kitchen.
461
00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,587
Mom, where?
462
00:23:00,054 --> 00:23:01,455
On the island.
463
00:23:01,488 --> 00:23:02,756
The what?
464
00:23:04,074 --> 00:23:05,626
Okay, this is fucking stupid.
465
00:23:05,659 --> 00:23:07,928
By the salt and pepper!
466
00:23:16,587 --> 00:23:21,141
It's me. Uh, I'm tiny
and I know it's a shock.
467
00:23:21,175 --> 00:23:22,685
Just try not to--
- You're tiny?!
468
00:23:25,846 --> 00:23:26,981
...scream. Okay.
469
00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:28,482
But before we continue,
470
00:23:28,515 --> 00:23:31,568
let's crash course
in volume control.
471
00:23:31,602 --> 00:23:33,654
You're gonna lean
into a whisper.
472
00:23:33,687 --> 00:23:35,322
{\an8}I'll lean into a shout.
473
00:23:35,356 --> 00:23:36,490
{\an8}We'll meet in the middle.
474
00:23:36,523 --> 00:23:38,125
{\an8}Are you real?
475
00:23:40,194 --> 00:23:42,746
{\an8}Yeah. Uh, I am real.
476
00:23:42,780 --> 00:23:44,048
Holy fuck.
477
00:23:45,032 --> 00:23:46,383
Holy fuck. Dad did this.
478
00:23:47,201 --> 00:23:50,137
The dollhouse? The crying?
479
00:23:50,604 --> 00:23:52,256
The "Today" show?
480
00:23:52,289 --> 00:23:56,093
Grandma?!
- Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahh. Quieter.
481
00:23:56,126 --> 00:23:57,311
{\an8}Sorry.
482
00:23:57,544 --> 00:23:58,729
{\an8}It's okay.
483
00:24:01,423 --> 00:24:03,942
{\an8}How did this happen?
484
00:24:04,743 --> 00:24:08,188
It was an accident.
An accident.
485
00:24:08,222 --> 00:24:12,109
Your dad and I are working
through some issues.
486
00:24:12,142 --> 00:24:15,529
{\an8}You know, uh--I am working
through some issues.
487
00:24:15,562 --> 00:24:17,531
{\an8}It's why I reached out.
488
00:24:17,564 --> 00:24:18,749
Lulu, uh...
489
00:24:20,651 --> 00:24:24,204
God, those comments online
just broke my heart.
490
00:24:24,238 --> 00:24:27,750
You don't deserve--it's--
it's--I'm--oh, God.
491
00:24:27,783 --> 00:24:28,876
I fucked up.
492
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:34,465
Why are you crying?
I don't know.
493
00:24:34,498 --> 00:24:39,636
{\an8}I don't know, because
I'm so fucking mad at you.
494
00:24:39,670 --> 00:24:41,271
{\an8}I hated you.
495
00:24:42,072 --> 00:24:44,191
{\an8}You lied.
That Jackie Baldwin bitch lied.
496
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,393
Okay. Okay.
I'm sorry.
497
00:24:46,427 --> 00:24:49,313
I don't know how to whisper-cry
and I can't even fucking yell.
498
00:24:49,346 --> 00:24:51,398
No. It's okay.
You should yell.
499
00:24:51,432 --> 00:24:53,317
You should be mad.
500
00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:54,902
Don't tell me
that I should be mad
501
00:24:54,935 --> 00:24:56,236
when I should be mad.
502
00:24:56,270 --> 00:24:58,288
{\an8}And now, I can't be mad...
503
00:25:00,441 --> 00:25:04,336
{\an8}because you're just,
you're so small...
504
00:25:05,654 --> 00:25:07,381
{\an8}and I feel so bad.
505
00:25:09,616 --> 00:25:10,968
{\an8}Come here.
506
00:25:14,288 --> 00:25:15,305
{\an8}Come.
507
00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:18,809
{\an8}Closer.
508
00:25:20,169 --> 00:25:21,311
Closer.
509
00:25:24,131 --> 00:25:25,566
Don't look up my nose.
510
00:25:27,551 --> 00:25:29,311
I won't.
511
00:25:29,344 --> 00:25:30,821
This is so weird.
512
00:25:36,351 --> 00:25:37,494
I know.
513
00:25:39,146 --> 00:25:40,831
Our family's weird now.
514
00:25:45,527 --> 00:25:50,082
So, um... are you okay?
515
00:25:50,115 --> 00:25:54,169
Well, I'm branded dog shit,
but I'm okay.
516
00:25:54,203 --> 00:25:56,505
This is all my fault.
517
00:25:56,538 --> 00:25:58,841
I'm not a great mom.
518
00:25:58,874 --> 00:26:00,884
I-I-I want to be.
519
00:26:00,918 --> 00:26:04,229
I... I need to try harder.
I-I can start right now.
520
00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:06,014
Where to start? Okay.
521
00:26:06,048 --> 00:26:08,517
Um, I wrote a book.
522
00:26:08,550 --> 00:26:11,520
Whoa.
We're going back 20 years?
523
00:26:11,553 --> 00:26:12,855
How long is this story?
524
00:26:12,888 --> 00:26:15,574
- Short and with a point.
- We'll see.
525
00:26:16,108 --> 00:26:18,694
I wrote a book.
I got rewarded.
526
00:26:18,727 --> 00:26:22,197
I felt like a fraud.
I mean, it was my first book.
527
00:26:22,231 --> 00:26:23,866
But then I had this prize.
528
00:26:23,899 --> 00:26:27,119
And that basically
became my identity.
529
00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:29,246
So, bullshit on bullshit?
530
00:26:29,279 --> 00:26:31,081
Bullshit on bullshit.
531
00:26:31,115 --> 00:26:35,302
And, uh--well, then,
then you came along.
532
00:26:35,736 --> 00:26:40,048
And I could focus on you,
not me.
533
00:26:40,082 --> 00:26:42,092
So, bullshit me,
534
00:26:42,126 --> 00:26:46,939
she kinda got left behind,
which I loved.
535
00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:51,226
And then you grew up
and we grew apart.
536
00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:54,655
And bullshit me
kinda showed back up.
537
00:26:56,306 --> 00:27:00,235
I think I resented you
resenting me.
538
00:27:00,269 --> 00:27:02,988
But that is not
being a good parent.
539
00:27:03,021 --> 00:27:05,908
That is being--
- A petulant child.
540
00:27:05,941 --> 00:27:08,994
Yeah. Heh.
You were hurting.
541
00:27:09,027 --> 00:27:13,215
I didn't know why,
but I should have asked.
542
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,635
I should have listened.
543
00:27:20,088 --> 00:27:25,928
Okay. Well, a few edits maybe,
but your story did have a point.
544
00:27:25,961 --> 00:27:28,639
So,
I'm listening now
545
00:27:28,672 --> 00:27:30,599
and I have really
good hearing.
546
00:27:30,632 --> 00:27:32,568
It's a benefit
of being this tiny.
547
00:27:36,013 --> 00:27:38,357
- I hate science.
- You do?
548
00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,317
Dad's gonna lose
his fucking brain.
549
00:27:40,350 --> 00:27:41,944
Oh. I mean...
550
00:27:41,977 --> 00:27:43,162
I flunked out of school.
551
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,697
So, go ahead, freak out.
552
00:27:45,731 --> 00:27:48,283
- You did?
- Yeah, by design.
553
00:27:48,317 --> 00:27:50,210
Uh, I mean--okay. How?
554
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,038
It was harder than I expected.
555
00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:54,506
I bet.
556
00:27:55,824 --> 00:27:58,043
I misappropriated
my student's story
557
00:27:58,076 --> 00:27:59,511
and didn't correct it.
558
00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:03,891
I dropped a TikTok
outing my mom as a plagiarist.
559
00:28:05,876 --> 00:28:07,886
I burned down
your dollhouse.
560
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,638
What?
Yeah.
561
00:28:09,671 --> 00:28:11,974
It felt great.
562
00:28:12,007 --> 00:28:13,567
I deleted "Darling Daughter."
563
00:28:15,177 --> 00:28:17,479
- Wait, that was you?
- Yeah. I was 11.
564
00:28:17,512 --> 00:28:19,698
You should really change
your password.
565
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:22,743
Wait.
566
00:28:26,355 --> 00:28:27,539
Oh, my God.
567
00:28:30,067 --> 00:28:33,203
You read that.
Yeah. It--it's okay.
568
00:28:33,237 --> 00:28:35,088
I know you didn't want me.
I get it.
569
00:28:37,032 --> 00:28:43,171
Lulu, I was channeling
Grandma Diane, my mom,
570
00:28:43,205 --> 00:28:44,890
thinking about me.
571
00:28:46,750 --> 00:28:48,218
Really?
Of course.
572
00:28:48,252 --> 00:28:52,105
Oh, my God,
I've never regretted having you.
573
00:28:53,382 --> 00:28:54,516
But the resentment...
574
00:28:54,549 --> 00:28:56,560
No. That was later
and different.
575
00:28:56,593 --> 00:28:58,070
God, no.
576
00:29:00,138 --> 00:29:01,782
Makes sense.
577
00:29:02,891 --> 00:29:04,192
Does it?
578
00:29:04,226 --> 00:29:06,495
Yeah, actually.
I read your book.
579
00:29:07,296 --> 00:29:10,365
I can definitely see
the Grandma Diane connection.
580
00:29:10,399 --> 00:29:13,335
God, it breaks my heart
that you thought I didn't...
581
00:29:16,113 --> 00:29:18,757
That you grew up thinking
that I didn't want you?
582
00:29:19,950 --> 00:29:23,045
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
583
00:29:23,078 --> 00:29:24,880
Oh, sweet girl.
584
00:29:24,913 --> 00:29:28,258
I'm so sorry. I suck.
585
00:29:28,292 --> 00:29:31,637
Oh, I suck. I fucking suck.
586
00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:32,971
I suck too.
587
00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:35,440
That's also my fault,
and Dad's.
588
00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:39,152
- We all suck.
- Which sucks.
589
00:29:46,601 --> 00:29:47,953
You read my book.
590
00:29:49,938 --> 00:29:51,623
You want me to tell you
it's good?
591
00:29:53,025 --> 00:29:55,293
- No.
- It's okay.
592
00:29:56,653 --> 00:29:58,163
I'll take it.
593
00:29:58,196 --> 00:30:00,841
So, do you have to tell Dad
I flunked out,
594
00:30:01,274 --> 00:30:06,088
like a UFP or United Family
whatever-it-is?
595
00:30:06,121 --> 00:30:08,423
UPF, United Parental Front.
596
00:30:08,457 --> 00:30:10,142
No, fuck it.
597
00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:24,439
I have to go in front
of the review board tomorrow
598
00:30:24,473 --> 00:30:26,650
and, like,
make a case or whatever.
599
00:30:26,683 --> 00:30:29,945
Tell them why they shouldn't
kick me out of school.
600
00:30:29,978 --> 00:30:32,197
What are you gonna say?
601
00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,282
We could...
We could practice it.
602
00:30:34,316 --> 00:30:37,669
No. Don't get all mom
about it.
603
00:30:39,321 --> 00:30:40,505
Okay.
604
00:30:44,201 --> 00:30:46,553
Hey, Lulu.
What's going on?
605
00:30:48,163 --> 00:30:49,347
Dad.
606
00:30:55,504 --> 00:30:56,722
I can explain.
607
00:30:56,755 --> 00:30:59,141
Les, don't worry.
608
00:30:59,174 --> 00:31:00,609
I already explained.
609
00:31:02,052 --> 00:31:04,029
- What did she tell you?
- A lot.
610
00:31:05,347 --> 00:31:07,699
- She's a liar.
- You're the liar, Dad.
611
00:31:08,366 --> 00:31:11,236
- Uh, what?
- The dollhouse?
612
00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:14,197
Grandma? Mom left us?
613
00:31:14,231 --> 00:31:16,908
You let me think she was having
an emotional breakdown.
614
00:31:16,942 --> 00:31:18,577
No.
What the fuck?
615
00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:21,421
- No, no, no. Lulu--
- You've never lied to me before.
616
00:31:23,698 --> 00:31:26,168
{\an8}What did you tell her?
Whatever I want.
617
00:31:26,201 --> 00:31:28,378
I'm her mother, she needed me.
- Since when?
618
00:31:28,412 --> 00:31:31,006
You-you-you-you had
no right to talk to her.
619
00:31:31,039 --> 00:31:32,424
Dad...
No. No, no, no.
620
00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:33,925
Dad...
We discussed this.
621
00:31:33,959 --> 00:31:35,844
UPF. UPF.
622
00:31:35,877 --> 00:31:37,679
We-we said that telling you
would traumatize you
623
00:31:37,712 --> 00:31:39,347
and we were gonna
tell you together.
624
00:31:39,381 --> 00:31:41,391
That's the U in UPF!
625
00:31:41,425 --> 00:31:43,852
Well, someone had to be the P!
626
00:31:43,885 --> 00:31:46,563
Well, here's the F. Fuck you.
Fuck you!
627
00:31:46,596 --> 00:31:48,565
Fuck you! Fuck you!
628
00:31:48,598 --> 00:31:49,941
{\an8}Fuck you!
Fuck you!
629
00:31:49,975 --> 00:31:51,159
{\an8}Why?
630
00:31:55,981 --> 00:31:58,742
{\an8}Shit.
631
00:31:58,775 --> 00:32:00,669
We are horrible.
632
00:32:01,611 --> 00:32:02,954
The worst.
633
00:32:02,988 --> 00:32:05,749
Makes me sick
to make her sick.
634
00:32:05,782 --> 00:32:07,751
Yeah, me too.
635
00:32:07,784 --> 00:32:09,970
We need
to get our shit together.
636
00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:12,464
Jesus.
637
00:32:12,497 --> 00:32:13,598
Look at us.
638
00:32:14,291 --> 00:32:15,308
Look at me.
639
00:32:15,917 --> 00:32:18,053
I know, I know.
640
00:32:18,086 --> 00:32:19,354
Okay, okay.
641
00:32:25,343 --> 00:32:27,771
{\an8}I'm so sorry, Lulu.
642
00:32:27,804 --> 00:32:29,940
{\an8}This is us. Not you.
643
00:32:29,973 --> 00:32:32,275
{\an8}It's never you. Never you.
644
00:32:32,309 --> 00:32:33,869
{\an8}I think I'm empty.
645
00:32:41,401 --> 00:32:43,170
This is so fucked.
646
00:32:43,987 --> 00:32:45,505
Our family is fucked.
647
00:32:48,408 --> 00:32:49,926
You're standing on the sink.
648
00:32:50,827 --> 00:32:52,003
Yeah.
649
00:32:52,037 --> 00:32:55,507
But, uh,
this is our new reality.
650
00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:59,052
We're a fucked-up family
like everybody else, you know?
651
00:32:59,085 --> 00:33:00,887
Sort of.
- Until we're not.
652
00:33:00,921 --> 00:33:02,389
I can fix this.
653
00:33:02,422 --> 00:33:03,690
Can you, Dad?
654
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:07,018
Yes.
655
00:33:07,052 --> 00:33:08,278
Don't you believe me?
656
00:33:12,390 --> 00:33:14,150
I believe you. You know?
657
00:33:14,184 --> 00:33:15,819
And you're, you're brilliant.
658
00:33:15,852 --> 00:33:19,656
Frustratingly so.
I've always believed in you.
659
00:33:19,689 --> 00:33:20,874
Always.
660
00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:25,912
Okay. So, like,
what do we do now?
661
00:33:25,946 --> 00:33:27,214
We live.
662
00:33:27,747 --> 00:33:30,759
Uh, Dad and I
are gonna work things out,
663
00:33:31,393 --> 00:33:34,254
you're gonna go back
to school tonight,
664
00:33:34,287 --> 00:33:36,506
and, um,
then we'll all go skiing
665
00:33:36,540 --> 00:33:38,675
over President's Day weekend
or something.
666
00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:41,177
I don't know.
But we're gonna be okay.
667
00:33:41,211 --> 00:33:43,263
We're going to be okay.
668
00:33:43,296 --> 00:33:46,850
Right?
- Yes. Absolutely.
669
00:33:46,883 --> 00:33:48,068
Yes.
670
00:33:52,222 --> 00:33:55,525
Is it bad that I kinda
wanna see Mom on tiny skis?
671
00:34:01,147 --> 00:34:03,917
Hey.
You know I love you, kiddo.
672
00:34:06,152 --> 00:34:07,504
Yeah, I know.
673
00:34:18,623 --> 00:34:20,884
She didn't tell me
that she loved me back.
674
00:34:20,917 --> 00:34:22,936
Uh, I think she did.
- She did not.
675
00:34:23,470 --> 00:34:25,096
You know she did not.
- Okay.
676
00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:27,098
This is a lot for her
to process.
677
00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:28,942
I've lost her love.
678
00:34:30,635 --> 00:34:32,395
Okay, now you're being
dramatic.
679
00:34:32,429 --> 00:34:33,613
Dramatic?
680
00:34:35,932 --> 00:34:38,985
She fucking adored me and now
she can barely look at me.
681
00:34:39,019 --> 00:34:41,738
- Yeah. It stings. But--
- No, no, no. It's fine.
682
00:34:41,771 --> 00:34:43,782
It's-it's okay.
I-I understand. I know.
683
00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:45,408
I know that you love this.
684
00:34:45,442 --> 00:34:47,243
You love it.
- Love what?
685
00:34:47,277 --> 00:34:51,456
You want me to be
Hurricane Les, don't you?
686
00:34:51,489 --> 00:34:53,625
Well, bravo.
687
00:34:53,658 --> 00:34:56,753
This is your fucking
guilt talking.
688
00:34:56,786 --> 00:35:00,340
That's what this is.
- You just--you took my daughter
689
00:35:00,373 --> 00:35:01,925
away from me.
690
00:35:01,958 --> 00:35:04,094
- Your daughter?
- Yeah. That was your plan.
691
00:35:04,127 --> 00:35:06,680
- This was my plan?
- I was her hero,
692
00:35:06,713 --> 00:35:09,015
and now she thinks
I'm a fuckin' liar.
693
00:35:09,049 --> 00:35:11,351
I told her
it was an accident.
694
00:35:11,384 --> 00:35:13,186
You want me to play her
the voice note, huh?
695
00:35:13,219 --> 00:35:16,990
Oh, I'm sure you painted
a very pretty picture of yours--
696
00:35:17,324 --> 00:35:18,775
Did you tell her about Richard?
697
00:35:18,808 --> 00:35:20,652
Did you tell her
about Richard?
698
00:35:20,685 --> 00:35:23,154
His blood is on your hands,
Lindy.
699
00:35:23,188 --> 00:35:26,616
Really?
My tiny, innocent,
700
00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:28,335
shrunken-on-purpose hands?
701
00:35:28,935 --> 00:35:32,706
Maybe you deserve
to be her mad-scientist
702
00:35:32,739 --> 00:35:34,791
shithead dad
who shrunk her mom.
703
00:35:34,824 --> 00:35:36,626
Every dad
disappoints eventually.
704
00:35:36,660 --> 00:35:39,337
It's finally your fucking turn.
705
00:35:45,502 --> 00:35:47,228
You ruined Lulu
706
00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:50,357
and you make me sick.
707
00:35:53,176 --> 00:35:56,062
What the fuck
are you doing?
708
00:35:56,096 --> 00:35:59,524
No!
709
00:35:59,557 --> 00:36:02,819
It would be so easy
just to let go.
710
00:36:02,852 --> 00:36:04,988
I've seen your balls, Les.
711
00:36:05,021 --> 00:36:07,707
They aren't big enough.
- Oh, it's been a while.
712
00:36:12,696 --> 00:36:15,165
Maybe you've forgotten
how big they are.
713
00:36:15,198 --> 00:36:16,383
Put me down!
714
00:36:17,534 --> 00:36:19,085
Okay.
715
00:36:25,917 --> 00:36:27,227
You motherfucker!
716
00:36:29,254 --> 00:36:30,346
You're dead.
717
00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:32,232
Sure. Why not?
718
00:36:39,889 --> 00:36:41,574
Fuck. What the fuck?
719
00:37:34,444 --> 00:37:36,796
You were a good
and loyal friend.
720
00:37:39,115 --> 00:37:40,800
I'm gonna miss you, Dolores,
721
00:37:42,619 --> 00:37:44,387
and I'm sorry it ended this way.
722
00:37:46,998 --> 00:37:49,350
Richard [on megaphone]:
I'm sorry too, Dolores.
723
00:37:53,129 --> 00:37:56,432
Your eyes do not deceive you,
I am not a ghost.
724
00:37:56,466 --> 00:37:58,935
I am very much alive.
725
00:37:58,968 --> 00:38:00,862
Richard!
726
00:38:01,846 --> 00:38:03,940
I'm so relieved!
727
00:38:03,973 --> 00:38:07,660
You are no more a murderer
than I am an adulterer.
728
00:38:08,228 --> 00:38:11,781
I was hoodwinked into
an uncompromising position,
729
00:38:11,815 --> 00:38:14,876
but I wanna put your mind
at ease.
730
00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:17,954
Nothing happened
below the belt.
731
00:38:17,987 --> 00:38:19,923
Well, the belt was off,
Richard.
732
00:38:20,390 --> 00:38:22,675
All part of the charade.
733
00:38:24,994 --> 00:38:26,462
I never meant to hurt you.
734
00:38:26,496 --> 00:38:27,555
Yes, you did.
735
00:38:28,089 --> 00:38:31,509
However, I know
you never meant to vanquish me,
736
00:38:31,543 --> 00:38:33,269
which you did not.
737
00:38:35,171 --> 00:38:36,723
Call it even?
738
00:38:36,756 --> 00:38:38,107
Even Steven.
739
00:38:43,179 --> 00:38:45,523
I have a science thought,
if I may be so bold.
740
00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:47,150
Please.
741
00:38:47,183 --> 00:38:50,904
So, given my recent
firsthand experiences,
742
00:38:50,937 --> 00:38:53,581
I've been thinking about
the quantum harmonic oscillator.
743
00:38:53,948 --> 00:38:57,535
What if its potential energy
is akin to the mass on a spring?
744
00:38:57,569 --> 00:39:01,039
As in, uh, V of X
equals one-half KX square?
745
00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:02,540
Where K
is the spring constant
746
00:39:02,574 --> 00:39:04,717
and X is the displacement.
747
00:39:05,451 --> 00:39:09,055
I mean, that's a--that's--
that's a parabolic curve.
748
00:39:11,291 --> 00:39:12,759
I mean, that could work.
749
00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:17,680
I've missed this.
- Me too.
750
00:39:17,714 --> 00:39:20,016
I will say Janet's been good,
very good.
751
00:39:20,049 --> 00:39:23,603
Um, but I have--I've missed,
uh, I've missed the, uh...
752
00:39:23,636 --> 00:39:25,730
You don't need to say it.
I know.
753
00:39:25,763 --> 00:39:28,157
Richard, I--you--missed you.
754
00:39:29,559 --> 00:39:31,578
I do owe you an apology.
755
00:39:32,937 --> 00:39:35,290
I was a fool for love.
756
00:39:37,567 --> 00:39:39,085
I keep wondering...
757
00:39:40,445 --> 00:39:44,874
was I driven by love
or the tragedy of love?
758
00:39:44,908 --> 00:39:48,253
You know, I can't believe you
miniaturized yourself for her.
759
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:49,879
Oh, you would have done
the same
760
00:39:49,913 --> 00:39:52,348
if you weren't needed
to solve the formula.
761
00:39:54,083 --> 00:39:56,477
Oh, no, Richard.
Never crossed my mind.
762
00:39:57,587 --> 00:39:59,272
No, we've reached a new low.
763
00:40:00,924 --> 00:40:02,275
May I ask why?
764
00:40:04,761 --> 00:40:06,446
Because I know her.
765
00:40:07,472 --> 00:40:10,533
I really fucking know her.
766
00:40:11,601 --> 00:40:12,702
Not worth it.
767
00:40:14,103 --> 00:40:16,164
Then you know
she's coming for you.
768
00:40:17,273 --> 00:40:18,541
Oh, I do.
769
00:40:19,984 --> 00:40:22,045
And I can't fucking wait.
770
00:40:23,529 --> 00:40:25,331
♪ Love ♪
771
00:40:25,365 --> 00:40:29,752
♪ Love will tear us ♪
♪ Apart again ♪
772
00:40:29,786 --> 00:40:31,754
♪ Love ♪
773
00:40:31,788 --> 00:40:35,975
♪ Love will tear us ♪
♪ Apart again ♪
774
00:40:42,382 --> 00:40:45,852
♪ Why is the bedroom ♪
♪ So cold? ♪
775
00:40:45,885 --> 00:40:49,147
♪ You've turned away ♪
♪ On your side ♪
776
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:52,358
♪ Is my timing that flawed? ♪
777
00:40:52,392 --> 00:40:55,820
♪ Our respect runs so dry ♪
778
00:40:55,853 --> 00:40:59,032
♪ Yet there's still ♪
♪ This appeal ♪
779
00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:02,493
♪ That we've kept ♪
♪ Through our lives ♪
780
00:41:02,527 --> 00:41:04,454
♪ But love ♪
781
00:41:04,487 --> 00:41:08,958
♪ Love will tear us ♪
♪ Apart again ♪
782
00:41:08,992 --> 00:41:10,960
♪ Love ♪
783
00:41:10,994 --> 00:41:15,631
♪ Love will tear us ♪
♪ Apart again ♪
50696
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