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1
00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:07,991
The "Today" show?
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00:00:08,025 --> 00:00:10,544
{\an8}-We are talking to
Pulitzer Prize-winning author
3
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:13,505
Lindy Littlejohn about her
sensational new short story.
4
00:00:13,539 --> 00:00:15,799
Reality check,
you didn't fucking write it.
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00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:18,135
{\an8}-You know, everything
I write provokes someone.
6
00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:20,470
I'm acting perfectly normal!
7
00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:22,556
Maybe control
is his love language.
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00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,141
You ran out saying
someone could be dead.
9
00:00:24,174 --> 00:00:26,393
Yeah, Lindy is--
Lindy is having a hard time.
10
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,811
As our size decreased,
11
00:00:27,844 --> 00:00:29,730
our proportional strength
increased.
12
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,232
This is your time.
13
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,483
Tell me it's my turn.
14
00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:36,194
My turn is yet
to win me the Nobel.
15
00:00:36,228 --> 00:00:37,988
The Nobel?
16
00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:39,531
How can I trust you
17
00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:41,158
if you're gonna expose me
like that?
18
00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:42,910
Don't trust me then!
19
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,036
So the seizures have nothing
to do with miniaturization?
20
00:00:44,069 --> 00:00:45,245
Completely unrelated.
21
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,413
Lindy?
22
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,414
Right here, Les.
23
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,541
And I can take care of myself.
24
00:00:49,575 --> 00:00:51,335
Lindy? Is that you?
25
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:53,253
She was going to leave me.
It was an accident.
26
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,923
Until you are honest,
you are fucked.
27
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,758
She left us, didn't she?
28
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:01,178
Lindy was on the "Today" show
this morning.
29
00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:02,896
What? What? What?!
30
00:01:04,590 --> 00:01:07,442
Truth is,
I miniaturized you...
31
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on purpose.
32
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:36,930
Whatever.
33
00:01:47,758 --> 00:01:51,478
If I was Mom,
what would my password be?
34
00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:01,622
Oh, yeah.
35
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:05,117
"'Darling Daughter'
by Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
36
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:08,745
"What if I told you I spent
nine months building a jail,
37
00:02:08,779 --> 00:02:11,999
"only to sentence myself
to a lifetime in prison?
38
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:15,510
"That, I've discovered,
is what motherhood actually is.
39
00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:21,842
"From her adorable baby's face,
those demonic eyes stare out.
40
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,594
"Laughing at me.
'Yes,' she's saying,
41
00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,813
"'I've ruined
your fucking day again.'
42
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,849
"'Mommy!' She cries.
43
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,809
"Her voice a razor blade
to my ears.
44
00:02:30,842 --> 00:02:32,436
"I want her to call out for me.
45
00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:33,937
"I wanna be there for her.
46
00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,148
"I want my maternal instinct
to kick in.
47
00:02:36,181 --> 00:02:37,524
"Why won't it?
48
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,359
"I dream of a life
without a daughter,
49
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,611
"sucking at the teat
of inspiration,
50
00:02:41,645 --> 00:02:43,196
"preventing me from being...
51
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,833
"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck."
52
00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:51,713
Fuck. Mom hates me.
53
00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:08,730
♪ Maybe it's much ♪
♪ Too early in the game ♪
54
00:03:11,508 --> 00:03:15,645
♪ But I thought ♪
♪ I'd ask you just the same ♪
55
00:03:17,723 --> 00:03:20,984
♪ What are you doing ♪
♪ New Year's... ♪
56
00:03:21,017 --> 00:03:23,078
Got your invitation.
57
00:03:24,062 --> 00:03:26,656
A New Year's Eve brunch for me?
58
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:29,201
I mean, I'm honored.
59
00:03:29,234 --> 00:03:31,086
But what, uh,
what prompted this?
60
00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,580
A new perspective.
61
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:34,631
Huh.
62
00:03:35,699 --> 00:03:37,926
I'm embracing
my six-inch self.
63
00:03:38,326 --> 00:03:42,756
But I realized
I've been kind of a jerk.
64
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:46,051
Hey, jerk is strong,
given the circumstances.
65
00:03:46,084 --> 00:03:49,346
See? You've been nothing
but kind, Richard.
66
00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:51,148
And I wanted you to know,
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00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:55,393
I am grateful for you
and your company.
68
00:03:55,427 --> 00:03:58,855
"The course of true love
never did run smooth."
69
00:03:58,889 --> 00:04:01,024
Shakespeare.
- No.
70
00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:02,909
New year, new me.
71
00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:06,696
I'm sorry.
- Mom always says,
72
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,448
it's never too late
to begin again.
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00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,200
Oh, your mom.
74
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,701
So wise.
- Right?
75
00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:13,453
To new beginnings.
76
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:14,621
You know what else
my mom said--
77
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:15,747
Should we eat?
78
00:04:15,781 --> 00:04:17,374
It's just gonna get cold,
I think.
79
00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:18,758
- Okay.
- Okay.
80
00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:40,989
Oh.
81
00:04:42,098 --> 00:04:43,733
A tremendous success.
82
00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,735
Subject expanded to regular size
83
00:04:45,769 --> 00:04:48,655
and stabilized for two minutes
and 3.3 seconds.
84
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:52,242
An increase of one minute
and 32.7 seconds!
85
00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:54,286
all: Yes!
- Whoo! Science progress!
86
00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:57,247
Yeah! Oh.
87
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,623
- Well done.
- Yeah! Great job.
88
00:04:58,657 --> 00:05:00,000
- That is well done.
- Great job.
89
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,334
- Well done.
- Yeah. Slowing the reaction
90
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,003
down, way, way down
helped, um...
91
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,629
Yes. The, uh, nuclei
need time...
92
00:05:04,663 --> 00:05:06,173
Yeah.
- ...which is acceptable...
93
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,175
Yes.
- ...to form stronger bonds.
94
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,427
Yes. Uh, it's fundamental
to--yes,
95
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:13,305
for those fragile--uh,
to cement those connections.
96
00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:14,931
The--or, uh, alliances.
97
00:05:14,965 --> 00:05:17,017
- Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
- Yes.
98
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,810
Are we talking
about science?
99
00:05:18,844 --> 00:05:20,854
Yes, Hilton.
100
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,606
We're always talking
about science.
101
00:05:22,639 --> 00:05:24,241
This is a lab of science.
102
00:05:24,508 --> 00:05:25,442
Okay. Well, I heard a bang,
and then, there was, like,
103
00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:27,819
a cheer of release,
so my mind went there.
104
00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:29,654
It was in my head.
Is there good news?
105
00:05:29,688 --> 00:05:31,281
It was a big win, yes.
106
00:05:31,314 --> 00:05:32,824
Slowing the expansion
of the corn
107
00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:35,919
mitigated the molecular
disequilibrium, yes.
108
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,122
Translation,
it's remarkable progress.
109
00:05:39,155 --> 00:05:41,124
Fuck yeah.
We should celebrate.
110
00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:43,793
I'm having a New Year's Eve
shindig tonight at my place.
111
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:46,171
Gonna be amazing food,
crazy guest list,
112
00:05:46,204 --> 00:05:48,215
and you are all invited.
113
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,841
Wait, it's New Year's Eve?
114
00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:53,011
Uh, I can't go.
Uh, it's my anniversary.
115
00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:54,638
Oh. Just bring Lindy.
116
00:05:54,671 --> 00:05:55,505
It'll be great to see her again.
117
00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:58,692
Well, well, uh...
118
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:02,812
I only organize
fantastic parties.
119
00:06:02,846 --> 00:06:05,232
You gotta come.
Done. Set. Happy.
120
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,950
See you all there.
121
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,077
Whoo!
122
00:06:09,844 --> 00:06:13,323
Translation, see you all there
means Les only.
123
00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:14,866
And you can't say no.
124
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,248
Do you think
you'll bring Lindy?
125
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,666
Um, I don't know.
126
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,926
I mean, I--it's--uh,
I don't know.
127
00:06:27,913 --> 00:06:29,589
Lindy [on recording]: Hey,
I've done a lot of thinking,
128
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:32,425
and I'm embracing
my six-inch self
129
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,427
so, New Year, new me.
130
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:37,013
I forgive you
for shrinking me on purpose.
131
00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:38,682
Meet me in the dollhouse.
132
00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:40,558
I have an anniversary
surprise for you.
133
00:06:46,598 --> 00:06:47,857
{\an8}woman: Oh, the missus?
134
00:06:47,891 --> 00:06:49,276
{\an8}She left.
135
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,902
{\an8}Was she mad?
136
00:06:50,936 --> 00:06:53,363
woman: She had two glasses
of wine and left.
137
00:06:53,396 --> 00:06:54,614
So she was mad.
138
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,366
Maybe disappointed.
139
00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:57,751
That's worse. Isn't it?
140
00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:00,578
Happy New Year.
141
00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:04,007
woman: Charlie,
what's happening?
142
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,380
He shouldn't be alone
right now.
143
00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:11,631
man: Let him go.
144
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:12,766
Hi.
145
00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:15,185
Hi.
146
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,816
- Hey, Lindy.
- Hey, Les.
147
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,611
Happy anniversary.
148
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,148
It's okay. Lay into me. I...
149
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,733
I deserve it.
150
00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:30,825
You do.
151
00:07:33,645 --> 00:07:35,163
But I understand.
152
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,783
You do?
153
00:07:38,817 --> 00:07:39,784
You're caught up
in your work.
154
00:07:39,818 --> 00:07:41,244
And when you're in it,
155
00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:43,963
you can lose track
of birthdays, holidays.
156
00:07:45,115 --> 00:07:47,133
I know I do. Did.
157
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,087
You supported me
in the way I needed it,
158
00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:55,058
so I'm supporting you.
159
00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:59,095
- Okay.
- Uh-hmm.
160
00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:02,432
So I was mad.
161
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:06,519
I mean, I was alone
in a restaurant
162
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,821
on New Year's Eve.
163
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:12,275
But then,
I came home and I got cozy,
164
00:08:12,308 --> 00:08:14,152
and I was gonna watch
the ball drop with Lulu,
165
00:08:14,185 --> 00:08:15,487
but she won't come out
of her room.
166
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,781
Probably something to do
with Steffy.
167
00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:19,282
And so, I opened up a bottle
168
00:08:19,315 --> 00:08:22,669
of your do-not-touch-until-never
wine.
169
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,256
And now I feel better.
170
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,260
I love you.
171
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,684
I love you too.
172
00:08:41,171 --> 00:08:42,889
Feel free to apologize
profusely.
173
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,641
- Yeah.
- And maybe next time
174
00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:46,017
bring me those chocolates
I like from the drugstore.
175
00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:49,020
I am sorry and I apologize
profusely for, um,
176
00:08:49,054 --> 00:08:52,365
disappointing you and
for forgetting our anniversary.
177
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,411
I forgive you.
178
00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:10,091
- It's, like, the big box.
- Yeah.
179
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,054
- Well, happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary.
180
00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:17,557
All right. All is forgiven.
181
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,479
Lindy?
182
00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:28,234
Oh, Lindy...
183
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,157
Lindy?
184
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,993
You got me intrigued.
185
00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:53,927
Happy anniversary, honey!
186
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,921
Happy anniversary.
187
00:09:56,955 --> 00:09:58,765
Oh, you remembered!
188
00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:08,274
What is that?
189
00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:11,277
Your surprise.
190
00:10:13,138 --> 00:10:16,733
Oh. I--it's not
what you think, Les.
191
00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:19,035
It's exactly what you think.
192
00:10:20,311 --> 00:10:22,906
Uh, Richard?
Is that really you?
193
00:10:22,939 --> 00:10:23,823
Yeah.
194
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,325
Richard Paul Wear
195
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,619
from your fucking lab.
196
00:10:27,652 --> 00:10:31,080
This is not how I foresaw us
having this conversation.
197
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,917
You and him--and her? What?
198
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:36,252
You thought we would have
a conversation?
199
00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:37,837
What?
- One day.
200
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,756
As gentlemen.
201
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,132
- How long?
- Forever.
202
00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,092
Six and a half months. Barely.
203
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:46,262
- Uh, why him?
- He's not you!
204
00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:48,598
It was a chance encounter.
Um, but you have--
205
00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:49,933
Lindy, how could you?
Because I...
206
00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,643
I told you the truth.
207
00:10:51,676 --> 00:10:53,603
I poured my heart out to you.
208
00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:56,147
I was vulnerable.
And now this? Why? Why?
209
00:10:56,181 --> 00:11:00,443
I did it... on purpose!
210
00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:01,653
On purpose?
211
00:11:01,686 --> 00:11:03,446
Yeah, he knows why.
212
00:11:03,479 --> 00:11:04,948
But you forgave me.
213
00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:07,750
I lied!
214
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:13,122
How dare you.
How dare me?
215
00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:16,459
So, you can lie,
leave a voice note, and what?
216
00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:17,794
You're Abraham Lincoln?
217
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:21,130
You baited me
on a voice note,
218
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:24,133
and then you exploited
our wedding anniversary,
219
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,635
and then you reveal
you're having an affair
220
00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:27,303
with my physicist?
221
00:11:27,337 --> 00:11:28,680
How is that the same?
222
00:11:28,713 --> 00:11:32,141
It's not.
It's meant to be worse!
223
00:11:32,175 --> 00:11:34,185
I was lying to be kind...
224
00:11:34,219 --> 00:11:35,520
- No, no.
- ...to spare your feelings.
225
00:11:35,553 --> 00:11:37,647
A lie is a lie!
226
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,066
As someone who has been
lied to as well.
227
00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:42,986
- You! You're my colleague.
- Yes.
228
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:44,571
That's my wife.
- I know.
229
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,489
Richard,
what in the name of science?
230
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:48,491
Like, what the...
fuck?!
231
00:11:50,193 --> 00:11:54,872
What the fucking fuck?!
232
00:11:54,906 --> 00:11:56,215
Fuck!
233
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:08,928
This is not fucking funny!
234
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:12,056
You're holding a pillow
over your tiny junk.
235
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:13,391
It's so tiny.
236
00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:15,351
You're both so tiny.
237
00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:16,894
Oop, there's the tiny bum.
238
00:12:16,928 --> 00:12:19,188
That's so cute.
Fuck you!
239
00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:21,524
I am gonna fucking kill you!
240
00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:24,527
- Oh, yeah? Try.
- I'm fucking--you're a liar!
241
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,529
You lied!
- What's that?
242
00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:28,197
Did you say something?
- I--fuck you!
243
00:12:28,231 --> 00:12:32,460
You made me this way!
I fucking hate you!
244
00:12:33,778 --> 00:12:37,540
- I think you dropped this.
- Fuck you!
245
00:12:37,573 --> 00:12:39,250
Are you tap dancing?
246
00:12:39,284 --> 00:12:41,544
No. Fuck you. Fuck you.
247
00:12:41,577 --> 00:12:44,097
Hey, hey, I think
this has gone far enough.
248
00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:47,383
You know what, Richard?
249
00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:49,135
I think you're right.
250
00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:56,818
Hold on.
251
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:04,400
This is not good.
- Oh, you think? You think?
252
00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:06,569
I can't believe
you did this on purpose.
253
00:13:06,602 --> 00:13:08,404
On purpose?
Why would you do that?
254
00:13:08,438 --> 00:13:10,448
- You don't--Richard, hey, hey.
- Oh, my God. I feel sick.
255
00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:13,076
- This is not about you, okay?
- Where is my mom?
256
00:13:13,109 --> 00:13:14,452
Oh, no!
257
00:13:14,485 --> 00:13:16,954
No! Richard!
258
00:13:16,988 --> 00:13:18,581
Les, Les,
we gotta talk about this.
259
00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:19,916
Les, please.
260
00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:21,250
No man could've resisted
261
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,252
the siren song of that woman.
262
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,254
The beguiling web she weaved.
263
00:13:25,288 --> 00:13:27,590
The hypnotic allure
of that brunch.
264
00:13:27,623 --> 00:13:30,093
She deceived me!
She deceived both of us!
265
00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,928
No.
266
00:13:31,961 --> 00:13:36,349
You deceived me, Richard,
for six and a half months.
267
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,102
We share thoughts,
we share science.
268
00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:41,688
We do not share my wife.
269
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,773
Les, I'm sorry.
Nothing happened between us.
270
00:13:43,806 --> 00:13:44,941
I...
271
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:46,826
Okay, you're squeezing
kind of tightly.
272
00:13:47,685 --> 00:13:48,661
Les.
273
00:13:49,645 --> 00:13:51,030
Please. Okay.
274
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,116
Oh, where are we going?
275
00:13:53,149 --> 00:13:54,617
Les, no, no, no.
No, no, no. Les.
276
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,327
Hello, Dolores.
Les, please.
277
00:13:56,361 --> 00:13:59,455
Les. No. Les, you can't do this.
278
00:13:59,489 --> 00:14:01,624
Please. Les. Les!
279
00:14:01,657 --> 00:14:02,834
Les, no! No, please!
280
00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:04,377
Les. Les. Les, no, no, no.
281
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:13,344
No! No!
282
00:14:13,378 --> 00:14:14,971
No! Please, stop!
283
00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,472
Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up.
284
00:14:22,053 --> 00:14:24,021
Please, in the name of science!
285
00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:25,815
How dare
you blaspheme science?
286
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:27,817
- No, no.
- On top of everything else.
287
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,736
No! Please! No, no.
288
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,320
Meet your new playmate,
pretty bird.
289
00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:33,489
- Please, no.
- His name is Fuck You.
290
00:14:33,523 --> 00:14:34,741
I don't wanna play
with a bird.
291
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,325
I don't wanna play with a bird.
292
00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:37,910
Oh!
293
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,045
Oh! Oh!
294
00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:42,423
Oh, my God, no!
295
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,719
It's, uh, Dolores, right?
296
00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:51,382
Good birdie. Good birdie.
297
00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:52,392
Hey.
298
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:56,179
Oh. Uh, the pen.
299
00:14:56,212 --> 00:14:58,397
Is the pen truly mightier
than the sword?
300
00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:01,567
En garde!
301
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,112
I'm coming, Richard.
I'm coming.
302
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,076
Oh.
303
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,779
Shit.
304
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,405
Okay. Okay.
305
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:20,002
Oh, what is he doing?
306
00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:30,847
{\an8}What is that?
307
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,432
{\an8}Shut the fuck up, Space Anus.
308
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,817
Live in darkness.
309
00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:10,678
Richard?
310
00:16:12,997 --> 00:16:14,223
Richie!
311
00:16:26,761 --> 00:16:27,945
Richard!
312
00:16:31,349 --> 00:16:32,408
Richie.
313
00:16:38,856 --> 00:16:39,874
Richard!
314
00:16:44,862 --> 00:16:45,880
Richie!
315
00:16:47,949 --> 00:16:50,051
Richard! Where are you?
316
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,505
Richie? I'm sorry.
317
00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:56,599
I know this is all my fault.
318
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,385
Oh, fuck.
319
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:01,145
That is a lot of texts.
320
00:17:03,381 --> 00:17:04,899
{\an8}Wait.
321
00:17:07,468 --> 00:17:08,611
{\an8}What?
322
00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:12,732
{\an8}No. Oh, my God.
323
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:13,991
{\an8}What is she...?
324
00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:17,904
{\an8}Good morning.
We recently featured
325
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,239
{\an8}Pulitzer Prize-winning author
Lindy Littlejohn
326
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,742
{\an8}on the Read with Jenna
segment of our show.
327
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,411
{\an8}We've learned Lindy's
been accused of plagiarizing
328
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,455
{\an8}her recently published
New Yorker short story,
329
00:17:27,488 --> 00:17:29,373
{\an8}"Untitled on Purpose."
330
00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:32,084
{\an8}The shocking allegation
originated from an unexpected
331
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:34,879
{\an8}and personal place,
a viral TikTok video
332
00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:36,923
{\an8}posted by the author's
own daughter...
333
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,925
{\an8}- ...Louise Littlejohn.
334
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:43,262
{\an8}-So, my mom is a, quote,
"successful writer," unquote.
335
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,806
{\an8}- Lulu!
- She wrote one book
336
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,558
{\an8}150 years ago.
337
00:17:47,592 --> 00:17:50,603
{\an8}Anyway, this week,
out of nowhere,
338
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,397
{\an8}Mom drops a short story
in The New Yorker?
339
00:17:53,431 --> 00:17:56,108
{\an8}And everyone loses
their [bleep] over it.
340
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:59,946
{\an8}Well, I'm gonna let you in
on a big secret.
341
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,740
{\an8}My mom didn't write it.
342
00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:05,576
{\an8}She stole it from one
of her students.
343
00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:07,244
{\an8}What the actual fuck?
The truth is, my mom
344
00:18:07,278 --> 00:18:08,746
{\an8}doesn't even write anymore.
345
00:18:08,779 --> 00:18:10,414
{\an8}She spends her days
watching Housewives
346
00:18:10,448 --> 00:18:12,249
{\an8}and making fake
Paris Review accounts
347
00:18:12,283 --> 00:18:13,918
{\an8}so she can [bleep] talk
other writers.
348
00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:15,586
{\an8}You...
349
00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,296
{\an8}We were unable
to reach Lindy Littlejohn
350
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,590
{\an8}directly for comment,
but we were able to reach
351
00:18:19,624 --> 00:18:22,760
{\an8}the author's mother,
Diane McMichael Jones,
352
00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,929
{\an8}who is widely suspected
to have inspired
353
00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:26,931
{\an8}the mother character
in her daughter's
354
00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:29,016
{\an8}Pulitzer Prize-winning
debut novel,
355
00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:31,310
{\an8}My Rainbow Starts with Black.
356
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,987
{\an8}-No, I have no comment.
357
00:18:35,056 --> 00:18:36,857
{\an8}Except to say,
358
00:18:36,891 --> 00:18:39,527
{\an8}I haven't read
Lindy's little story.
359
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,529
{\an8}But I will say, I didn't care
for her portrayal
360
00:18:41,562 --> 00:18:43,322
{\an8}of the mother character
in her novel.
361
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,325
{\an8}-The real crime
is that Lindy made me out
362
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:50,004
{\an8}to be a terrible mother,
which I'm not.
363
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,833
What a wild,
unexpected turn
364
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,292
for Lindy Littlejohn.
365
00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:56,711
We'll continue
to follow this story
366
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:59,180
and keep you updated
as it develops.
367
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,219
Lulu [on video]: I'm gonna
let you in on a big secret.
368
00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:07,722
My mom didn't write it.
369
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:10,766
She stole it
from one of her students.
370
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,269
The truth is, my mom
doesn't even write anymore.
371
00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:15,438
She spends her days
watching Housewives
372
00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:17,148
and making fake
Paris Review accounts
373
00:19:17,181 --> 00:19:18,899
so she can shit talk
other writers.
374
00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:20,818
St. Lulu DeLulu.
375
00:19:20,851 --> 00:19:22,403
Oh, sorry.
I didn't hear my name.
376
00:19:22,436 --> 00:19:23,779
I didn't call it.
377
00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:25,614
I want to bring it
to you personally.
378
00:19:25,648 --> 00:19:27,324
Oh.
379
00:19:27,358 --> 00:19:29,452
Okay. Thank you.
380
00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:30,953
barista:
I also have a complicated
381
00:19:30,986 --> 00:19:32,296
relationship with my mother.
382
00:19:32,596 --> 00:19:35,291
Here, a cakepop, on me.
383
00:19:35,324 --> 00:19:37,334
I hope you like vanilla.
384
00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:39,720
- Thank you.
- Thank you, St. Lulu DeLulu.
385
00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,852
♪ This time of night ♪
♪ Feels like ♪
386
00:19:54,885 --> 00:19:58,272
♪ I'm losing my mind to find ♪
387
00:19:58,305 --> 00:20:01,659
♪ The smell of blood ♪
♪ In my dreams ♪
388
00:20:03,894 --> 00:20:08,491
♪ Darkness and silence bring ♪
♪ The fear in your eyes ♪
389
00:20:33,591 --> 00:20:34,975
Here's to us.
390
00:20:35,009 --> 00:20:36,185
I thought
you were bringing an us.
391
00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:37,311
No, fuck that us.
392
00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:38,646
New Year, new Les.
393
00:20:38,679 --> 00:20:40,698
Wow, who knew?
Hey!
394
00:20:42,057 --> 00:20:43,567
No Lindy tonight?
395
00:20:43,601 --> 00:20:44,568
No, no, she's at home,
under a blanket,
396
00:20:44,602 --> 00:20:45,861
not in a party mood, no.
397
00:20:45,895 --> 00:20:48,155
Oh. Well,
I can't say I blame her.
398
00:20:48,189 --> 00:20:52,159
Uh, that interview turned
into quite the Greek tragedy.
399
00:20:52,193 --> 00:20:53,661
But you can tell me.
400
00:20:53,694 --> 00:20:56,205
I won't tell anyone
other than everyone.
401
00:20:57,698 --> 00:20:59,667
Did she do it?
Plagiarize the story?
402
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,168
Oh, I don't know.
403
00:21:01,202 --> 00:21:02,837
What? I don't know.
404
00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:05,673
Right answer.
Deny, deny, deny.
405
00:21:05,706 --> 00:21:06,924
All set for tonight?
406
00:21:06,957 --> 00:21:08,342
Everything is in place.
Great.
407
00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:09,477
General Henderson: Hilton.
- Oh, General.
408
00:21:10,544 --> 00:21:12,847
- May I have a word?
- Oh, of course.
409
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,231
Looking forward
to the party trick.
410
00:21:15,466 --> 00:21:17,852
- Party trick? What?
- A performance.
411
00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:20,354
There are several important
private equity investors here
412
00:21:20,387 --> 00:21:21,772
that Hilton would love
to impress
413
00:21:21,806 --> 00:21:23,065
with a preview of your tech.
414
00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:24,942
Absolutely not.
415
00:21:24,975 --> 00:21:28,195
I am a scientist,
not a party clown.
416
00:21:28,229 --> 00:21:30,197
You know the tech is incomplete.
What am I supposed to do?
417
00:21:30,231 --> 00:21:31,699
Fake it? No.
418
00:21:31,732 --> 00:21:34,243
It's just a preview,
short and sweet.
419
00:21:34,276 --> 00:21:36,086
The corn is small, ta-da.
420
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,206
The corn is big, ta-da.
End of story.
421
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,583
- It's fraud.
- It's sales.
422
00:21:40,616 --> 00:21:43,377
It's my ass in prison
is what it is.
423
00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:45,546
I've already got a journalist
poking around the lab,
424
00:21:45,579 --> 00:21:47,298
asking questions
about Bob the Explainer's
425
00:21:47,331 --> 00:21:48,799
MedBot brother-in-law.
426
00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,434
What's to stop Nils
exposing me?
427
00:21:51,585 --> 00:21:54,146
Let me worry about Nils
and your ass.
428
00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,482
It is one worth saving.
429
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:59,560
Tonight,
the only thing on your mind
430
00:21:59,593 --> 00:22:02,446
should be Nobel.
431
00:22:02,930 --> 00:22:04,398
Nobel?
432
00:22:04,431 --> 00:22:05,449
Nobel.
433
00:22:09,687 --> 00:22:11,288
Do you see what I see?
434
00:22:16,277 --> 00:22:18,787
That's Dr. Emil Schaffhausen.
435
00:22:18,821 --> 00:22:20,080
Nobel Prize recipient
436
00:22:20,114 --> 00:22:21,582
and current committee member.
437
00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:22,917
Chair, in fact.
438
00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:24,585
Oh, I did
my postgraduate work
439
00:22:24,618 --> 00:22:27,129
on Dr. Schaffhausen's Theory
of Entanglement Swapping.
440
00:22:27,162 --> 00:22:28,964
He is a bona fide
science genius.
441
00:22:28,998 --> 00:22:30,507
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
442
00:22:30,541 --> 00:22:32,593
Just imagine what the support
of a man like that
443
00:22:32,626 --> 00:22:34,645
would do for your career.
444
00:22:35,462 --> 00:22:36,814
It's just a preview,
445
00:22:37,548 --> 00:22:42,152
short and sweet,
small and big.
446
00:22:43,804 --> 00:22:45,030
Ta-da.
447
00:22:59,653 --> 00:23:01,497
Hey, why are you here?
448
00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:02,706
Why are any of us here?
449
00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:04,333
Oh, God.
Is this where we are?
450
00:23:04,366 --> 00:23:07,044
Um, well, everyone else
is, uh, down the hall,
451
00:23:07,077 --> 00:23:08,462
getting drunk as hell,
watching the tourists
452
00:23:08,495 --> 00:23:10,297
in Times Square freeze
their asses off.
453
00:23:10,331 --> 00:23:12,800
We're doing a shot every time
a police horse takes a dump.
454
00:23:14,084 --> 00:23:15,853
I need something different
in my life.
455
00:23:20,758 --> 00:23:22,067
What's this?
456
00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:24,194
Something different.
457
00:23:29,558 --> 00:23:31,902
- Did you open this?
- No--yes.
458
00:23:31,936 --> 00:23:33,537
It's my job.
My eyes, then yours.
459
00:23:46,909 --> 00:23:48,919
Oh, fuck!
460
00:23:48,953 --> 00:23:49,878
What do I do?
461
00:23:50,871 --> 00:23:52,756
It's him. I know it.
462
00:23:52,790 --> 00:23:54,216
- You answer it.
- You answer it.
463
00:23:54,249 --> 00:23:55,768
It's your job.
464
00:23:57,127 --> 00:24:00,014
I'm actually off the clock,
so you answer it.
465
00:24:00,047 --> 00:24:01,223
Fuck.
466
00:24:01,256 --> 00:24:02,733
Okay.
467
00:24:06,971 --> 00:24:08,230
Hello, this is Terry.
468
00:24:08,263 --> 00:24:10,274
Yeah, it's me.
- It's Lindy.
469
00:24:10,307 --> 00:24:11,567
Oh, I'm not missing
this shit show.
470
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,028
Your phone is off.
471
00:24:14,061 --> 00:24:15,779
For just this reason.
472
00:24:15,813 --> 00:24:19,291
You're hiding from me
because you failed me.
473
00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:20,617
No, no, no, no, no.
474
00:24:20,651 --> 00:24:22,703
You failed me.
475
00:24:22,736 --> 00:24:24,955
What happened to do nothing,
say nothing?
476
00:24:24,989 --> 00:24:26,915
You don't understand.
477
00:24:26,949 --> 00:24:28,876
I am so small.
478
00:24:28,909 --> 00:24:31,136
I needed something.
479
00:24:32,246 --> 00:24:36,550
Well, you're about
to get smaller.
480
00:24:36,583 --> 00:24:38,427
Lindy, the damage
has been done.
481
00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:40,262
The Pulitzer committee
is meeting
482
00:24:40,295 --> 00:24:41,972
and there's talk
of rescinding your award.
483
00:24:42,006 --> 00:24:43,557
What? No.
484
00:24:43,590 --> 00:24:45,768
No, not--no, they can't.
485
00:24:45,801 --> 00:24:48,270
They can.
And they most likely will.
486
00:24:48,303 --> 00:24:49,613
But...
487
00:24:51,015 --> 00:24:53,617
but what am I without it?
488
00:24:55,811 --> 00:24:57,454
A former client.
489
00:24:59,314 --> 00:25:00,374
Terry...
490
00:25:01,358 --> 00:25:02,710
Brutal but warranted.
491
00:25:03,177 --> 00:25:04,912
Lindy, I tried.
I really tried,
492
00:25:04,945 --> 00:25:07,247
but I'm somehow still clean
in this, this, this...
493
00:25:07,281 --> 00:25:09,416
Shit storm, shit sandwich,
a shitnado.
494
00:25:09,450 --> 00:25:10,968
...shitnado.
495
00:25:11,368 --> 00:25:12,669
I warned you, Lindy,
496
00:25:12,703 --> 00:25:15,089
and you chose Jenna over me.
497
00:25:15,122 --> 00:25:18,509
Over our friendship,
our partnership.
498
00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:20,761
I can't--I can't believe
I'm saying this,
499
00:25:20,794 --> 00:25:22,805
but I, I...
500
00:25:28,552 --> 00:25:30,571
I'm officially
cutting ties with you.
501
00:25:31,638 --> 00:25:32,823
Terry...
502
00:25:33,807 --> 00:25:35,484
please. No.
503
00:25:35,517 --> 00:25:37,111
Please don't leave me. I...
504
00:25:37,144 --> 00:25:38,946
I have no one.
505
00:25:38,979 --> 00:25:41,281
I am totally alone here.
506
00:25:41,315 --> 00:25:45,119
I, uh--my own mother,
my daughter, my husband,
507
00:25:45,152 --> 00:25:46,537
Les fuckin' hates me.
508
00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:49,957
Uh, it is truly over
between us now,
509
00:25:49,990 --> 00:25:52,843
and I can't lose you, too.
510
00:25:55,329 --> 00:25:57,172
I'm sorry it's come to this.
511
00:26:09,259 --> 00:26:11,353
Hey, you had to.
I know it's hard.
512
00:26:11,386 --> 00:26:12,696
I'll miss her, too.
513
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,816
Oh, um, Ms. Holden,
Happy New Year.
514
00:26:15,849 --> 00:26:17,401
Nothing happy, nothing new.
515
00:26:17,434 --> 00:26:19,203
Why did you offer
a Jackie Baldwin
516
00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:22,156
a six-figure book deal
when I've seen no Jackie,
517
00:26:22,189 --> 00:26:24,241
no book,
no email, no proposal?
518
00:26:24,274 --> 00:26:26,326
Cyd, she is the next
big thing.
519
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,995
Yeah, well,
you better hope so.
520
00:26:28,028 --> 00:26:31,215
No Lindy,
no Jackie, no imprint.
521
00:26:33,909 --> 00:26:35,385
Love the top.
522
00:26:36,703 --> 00:26:38,222
Paper trail, you're unclean.
523
00:26:39,289 --> 00:26:40,474
So are you.
524
00:26:41,416 --> 00:26:42,726
Fuck.
525
00:26:58,267 --> 00:27:00,235
Yeah.
526
00:27:00,269 --> 00:27:04,790
Now, I need a volunteer.
527
00:27:07,651 --> 00:27:08,669
Sir.
528
00:27:24,126 --> 00:27:27,563
That's fantastisch.
That's wonderful.
529
00:27:28,839 --> 00:27:31,016
The corn has been miniaturized
530
00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:34,978
into what appears to be
one-tenth its original size.
531
00:27:35,012 --> 00:27:37,773
One-twelfth, to be precise.
532
00:27:37,806 --> 00:27:39,074
And now...
533
00:28:03,707 --> 00:28:05,384
I did not expect...
534
00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:07,344
- Two-minute warning.
- Not now.
535
00:28:07,377 --> 00:28:09,638
These are serious
implications, you know.
536
00:28:09,671 --> 00:28:11,306
You must be--
- Dr. Littlejohn,
537
00:28:11,340 --> 00:28:12,975
it's been
an explosive evening.
538
00:28:13,008 --> 00:28:14,693
Sir, uh...
539
00:28:17,721 --> 00:28:20,365
Quick, the corn, go.
540
00:28:24,728 --> 00:28:26,321
Here we are.
I was just saying
541
00:28:26,355 --> 00:28:29,825
to, um, Dr. Schaffhausen,
who was expecting an explosion,
542
00:28:29,858 --> 00:28:32,578
how clever it was that
we mitigated the explosion
543
00:28:32,611 --> 00:28:34,830
by storing the exothermally
generated energy
544
00:28:34,863 --> 00:28:36,540
on a subatomic level.
545
00:28:36,573 --> 00:28:37,833
Yes,
it was an explosive...
546
00:28:39,368 --> 00:28:40,385
...discovery.
547
00:28:44,206 --> 00:28:46,008
To an explosive New Year!
548
00:28:46,041 --> 00:28:47,259
man: Yeah!
549
00:29:00,222 --> 00:29:02,574
I've hit rock bottom.
550
00:29:06,561 --> 00:29:08,246
It's all fucking gone.
551
00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:12,584
What is the point?
552
00:29:22,411 --> 00:29:24,630
Richie, you're alive.
553
00:29:24,663 --> 00:29:26,048
Oh, my God.
554
00:29:26,081 --> 00:29:27,641
No, no, no. You disgust me.
555
00:29:29,084 --> 00:29:31,553
I-I mean it. I'm disgusted.
556
00:29:31,586 --> 00:29:33,096
It consumes me.
557
00:29:33,130 --> 00:29:37,392
My heart, my mind, my soul,
everything hurts.
558
00:29:37,426 --> 00:29:39,895
Richie.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
559
00:29:39,928 --> 00:29:41,563
But I--
- But...
560
00:29:41,596 --> 00:29:43,365
- Well, but--
- But...
561
00:29:44,933 --> 00:29:48,120
a true apology should never
include a qualifier.
562
00:29:48,979 --> 00:29:50,288
You're right.
563
00:29:50,722 --> 00:29:52,741
I'm sorry. No but.
564
00:29:52,774 --> 00:29:54,793
What I did was inexcusable.
565
00:29:56,778 --> 00:29:59,289
I had no idea Les
was gonna react like that.
566
00:29:59,323 --> 00:30:01,458
I didn't think it through.
I...
567
00:30:01,491 --> 00:30:03,794
I suppose a reaction
of that magnitude
568
00:30:03,827 --> 00:30:05,012
couldn't have been predicted.
569
00:30:05,379 --> 00:30:07,055
I, uh, I need you...
570
00:30:08,332 --> 00:30:09,633
now more than ever.
571
00:30:09,666 --> 00:30:13,136
You have no idea
what has happened to me.
572
00:30:13,170 --> 00:30:14,179
- What happened...
- I--
573
00:30:14,212 --> 00:30:15,347
...to you?
574
00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:17,316
Uh, yeah. The--this--
575
00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:19,768
I have the floor.
576
00:30:19,801 --> 00:30:21,019
Okay.
577
00:30:21,053 --> 00:30:22,771
I'm gonna finish
my monologue.
578
00:30:22,804 --> 00:30:24,189
Of course.
579
00:30:24,222 --> 00:30:27,192
I was forced to do
unspeakable things
580
00:30:27,225 --> 00:30:28,985
to one of God's
beloved creatures.
581
00:30:29,019 --> 00:30:32,823
I was coerced into abandoning
my moral code
582
00:30:32,856 --> 00:30:35,784
and playing a part
in your marital folly,
583
00:30:35,817 --> 00:30:37,919
but I am not above reproach.
584
00:30:39,029 --> 00:30:40,664
I am guilty on two counts.
585
00:30:40,697 --> 00:30:42,207
One, in the name of love,
586
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:47,045
and the other,
in the name of science.
587
00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:48,714
I believe in Les.
588
00:30:48,747 --> 00:30:51,967
I believe he'll solve
the restoration formula
589
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,635
before his 30-day deadline.
590
00:30:53,668 --> 00:30:56,021
And I will beg him...
591
00:30:57,714 --> 00:30:59,391
to forgive me,
592
00:30:59,424 --> 00:31:02,811
then I will throw myself
at the mercy of science
593
00:31:02,844 --> 00:31:06,198
in the hopes of being restored
to my regular size.
594
00:31:09,518 --> 00:31:12,287
Did you say
30-day deadline?
595
00:31:14,189 --> 00:31:15,907
- That is what you heard?
- No.
596
00:31:15,941 --> 00:31:17,659
No, I heard, uh--
I heard it all.
597
00:31:17,692 --> 00:31:21,872
The folly, and the Les,
and the--uh, but what--
598
00:31:21,905 --> 00:31:22,998
- But?
- But...
599
00:31:23,031 --> 00:31:24,166
- But?
- But what the fuck
600
00:31:24,199 --> 00:31:25,751
is the 30-day deadline?
601
00:31:25,784 --> 00:31:27,335
According to the contract,
602
00:31:27,369 --> 00:31:30,547
Les has 30 days
to solve the formula
603
00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:33,675
or he's fired and the tech
reverts to Hilton.
604
00:31:33,708 --> 00:31:36,561
He has 22 days left.
605
00:31:38,922 --> 00:31:41,683
He only ever had 30 days?
606
00:31:41,716 --> 00:31:43,101
And now he only has...
607
00:31:43,135 --> 00:31:45,270
- Twenty-two.
- Oh, my God.
608
00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:47,489
Oh, it's closer to 21, actually.
609
00:31:48,557 --> 00:31:50,942
Another fuckin' lie!
610
00:31:50,976 --> 00:31:53,069
Oh, my golly.
Right?
611
00:31:53,103 --> 00:31:54,696
No.
- Wait. Where are you going?
612
00:31:54,729 --> 00:31:58,125
- I need space from you.
- Okay. But...
613
00:31:59,609 --> 00:32:01,670
I'm getting my own place.
614
00:32:05,907 --> 00:32:07,342
Fucking Les.
615
00:32:08,452 --> 00:32:10,846
He's gonna pay for this.
616
00:32:16,293 --> 00:32:17,461
Lindy [on recording]:
What kind of monster
617
00:32:17,494 --> 00:32:20,096
makes a horrible TikTok video
about their own mother?
618
00:32:20,130 --> 00:32:22,599
You are a spoiled child
and a lying liar.
619
00:32:22,632 --> 00:32:25,519
Whoo, Mommy mad.
620
00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:27,521
If you thought
that was crazy,
621
00:32:27,554 --> 00:32:31,942
wait until you hear
DJ Todd's remix!
622
00:32:35,645 --> 00:32:37,489
Yo, mic drop. Mic drop!
623
00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:39,282
crowd [chanting]:
Mic drop! Mic drop!
624
00:32:39,316 --> 00:32:41,034
♪ Liar, liar, lie, liar ♪
625
00:32:41,067 --> 00:32:42,494
♪ Liar, liar, lying liar, ♪
626
00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:44,371
♪ Liar, lie, lie, liar ♪
627
00:32:44,404 --> 00:32:46,122
♪ Monster, monster ♪
628
00:32:46,156 --> 00:32:47,457
♪ Liar, liar... ♪
- Mic Drop.
629
00:32:47,491 --> 00:32:50,877
- Hey, want a shot?
- Yeah. Okay.
630
00:32:50,911 --> 00:32:52,345
♪ Monster, monster ♪
631
00:32:52,546 --> 00:32:54,297
♪ What kind of monster ♪
632
00:32:54,331 --> 00:32:55,165
♪ Makes a horrible ♪
♪ TikTok video ♪
633
00:32:55,198 --> 00:32:56,550
♪ About their own mother? ♪
634
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:57,801
♪ You are a spoiled child ♪
635
00:32:57,834 --> 00:32:59,177
♪ And a lying liar ♪
636
00:32:59,211 --> 00:33:00,854
♪ What kind of monster... ♪
637
00:33:02,339 --> 00:33:03,723
Who are you?
638
00:33:03,757 --> 00:33:05,559
- What?
- Who are you?
639
00:33:05,592 --> 00:33:07,727
I don't recognize you.
640
00:33:07,761 --> 00:33:10,647
I'm St. Lulu DeLulu.
641
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,190
You got half that right.
642
00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:13,316
Hey, I read the book.
643
00:33:13,350 --> 00:33:15,986
How fuckin' Lindy was my move?
644
00:33:16,019 --> 00:33:19,030
- Very.
- See?
645
00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:20,532
I think you missed the point.
646
00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:22,250
That was the point.
647
00:33:24,528 --> 00:33:25,829
Want another drink?
648
00:33:25,862 --> 00:33:28,164
- Sure, boss.
- Me too!
649
00:33:28,198 --> 00:33:30,667
Pace yourself, DeLulu.
650
00:33:39,876 --> 00:33:41,261
Can I fuckin' help you?
651
00:33:41,294 --> 00:33:43,096
I don't want your help.
652
00:33:43,129 --> 00:33:45,891
Wow, judgment
from the shirtless wonder.
653
00:33:45,924 --> 00:33:48,560
- She's your mom.
- She's a liar.
654
00:33:48,593 --> 00:33:50,437
You'll regret it.
655
00:33:50,470 --> 00:33:52,230
Fuck that.
656
00:33:52,264 --> 00:33:55,525
I am her literal regret.
657
00:33:55,559 --> 00:33:58,236
Well, you sure are living up
to that title, aren't you?
658
00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:02,198
♪ Pull me places ♪
♪ To the end of the... ♪
659
00:34:19,124 --> 00:34:20,717
You good?
660
00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:23,261
I'm peeing.
661
00:34:23,295 --> 00:34:25,313
You're scrolling.
662
00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:28,433
Fuck off, Tarzan.
663
00:34:28,466 --> 00:34:30,435
No one made you come here.
664
00:34:30,468 --> 00:34:32,395
My bladder made me come here.
665
00:34:32,429 --> 00:34:34,064
You think you're so clever.
666
00:34:34,097 --> 00:34:36,399
I know you came here tonight
to see me.
667
00:34:36,433 --> 00:34:39,536
Yeah, says the guy who
followed me into the bathroom?
668
00:34:40,770 --> 00:34:43,123
What if I did?
Does that frighten you?
669
00:34:44,190 --> 00:34:45,333
A little.
670
00:34:46,610 --> 00:34:49,162
Did you buy that?
671
00:34:49,195 --> 00:34:51,006
I kinda wanted to.
Is that bad?
672
00:34:52,866 --> 00:34:54,676
Kind of.
673
00:34:55,869 --> 00:34:57,304
But you kinda liked it.
674
00:34:58,455 --> 00:35:01,057
You did.
You followed me in here.
675
00:35:02,626 --> 00:35:03,810
Busted.
676
00:35:10,467 --> 00:35:11,818
Lindy.
677
00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:14,487
Lindy.
678
00:35:14,921 --> 00:35:18,158
Guess who's getting
his big prize.
679
00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:27,033
Guess who's gonna open
a bottle
680
00:35:27,067 --> 00:35:30,003
of not-to-be-opened-never? Me.
681
00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:35,041
Oh, it's--Richard.
682
00:35:35,075 --> 00:35:36,217
Richard?
683
00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:39,629
Dolores? Richard.
684
00:35:39,663 --> 00:35:42,507
Oh, God. Oh, God.
685
00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:43,967
Oh.
686
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,635
Is that blood?
687
00:35:45,669 --> 00:35:47,470
Whose blood?
688
00:35:47,504 --> 00:35:49,856
Oh, is that--
is that human flesh?
689
00:35:50,674 --> 00:35:52,108
God. Richard?
690
00:35:52,592 --> 00:35:53,735
Richard?
691
00:35:54,436 --> 00:35:56,813
Richard, I'm--I'm--I'm sorry.
692
00:35:56,846 --> 00:35:59,149
I'm sorry. I--
693
00:35:59,182 --> 00:36:01,818
Richard, I was angry
and I was hurt
694
00:36:01,851 --> 00:36:04,371
and I thought a few pecks
would even the score.
695
00:36:06,064 --> 00:36:07,374
Richard?
696
00:36:09,859 --> 00:36:12,871
Richard, please.
697
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:16,299
Please, Richard,
reveal yourself.
698
00:36:19,577 --> 00:36:21,713
Lind-- Lindy?
699
00:36:31,047 --> 00:36:35,402
Lindy? Lindy.
It's all a dream, all a dream.
700
00:36:45,729 --> 00:36:47,080
Have I killed a man?
701
00:36:48,398 --> 00:36:49,958
A man of science, no less.
702
00:37:00,744 --> 00:37:02,879
Are you Anonymous?
703
00:37:02,912 --> 00:37:05,140
That is the only way
this works.
704
00:37:11,171 --> 00:37:12,313
Okay.
705
00:37:13,798 --> 00:37:16,226
I'm not used to the whole
cloak-and-dagger routine.
706
00:37:16,259 --> 00:37:18,144
You know,
it's Scientific American.
707
00:37:18,178 --> 00:37:19,446
Do you know who I am?
708
00:37:20,430 --> 00:37:23,950
Yeah, you're... Anonymous.
709
00:37:24,601 --> 00:37:26,069
You passed.
710
00:37:26,102 --> 00:37:27,328
Drive.
711
00:37:36,446 --> 00:37:38,706
Hoo.
712
00:37:42,368 --> 00:37:44,921
- Richard.
- Janet.
713
00:37:44,954 --> 00:37:46,589
Happy New Year.
714
00:37:46,623 --> 00:37:48,466
Happy New Year to you, too.
715
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,094
Uh, what happened
to your head?
716
00:37:51,127 --> 00:37:55,014
Oh, I just--I had
an altercation with a bird.
717
00:37:55,048 --> 00:37:56,141
On the farm?
718
00:37:56,174 --> 00:37:57,600
Yeah, something like that.
719
00:37:57,634 --> 00:37:58,601
So, listen.
720
00:37:58,635 --> 00:38:00,645
I just wanted to say
721
00:38:00,678 --> 00:38:02,772
thank you for the quill pen.
722
00:38:02,806 --> 00:38:05,650
It, um, saved my life.
723
00:38:05,683 --> 00:38:08,444
Oh, well, the pen
is mightier than the sword.
724
00:38:08,478 --> 00:38:10,196
I can attest to that.
725
00:38:10,230 --> 00:38:11,614
Where are you?
726
00:38:11,648 --> 00:38:15,034
I'm at the lab,
in the creepy basement.
727
00:38:15,068 --> 00:38:19,005
Uh, here to reboot the,
uh, thermal energy tank.
728
00:38:20,156 --> 00:38:22,041
You drew the short straw
again?
729
00:38:22,075 --> 00:38:23,459
Uh-hmm.
730
00:38:23,493 --> 00:38:25,003
Bob should've stepped up.
731
00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:27,380
Oh, yeah. It's...
It's okay. I was, um--
732
00:38:27,413 --> 00:38:28,715
I was out anyway.
733
00:38:28,748 --> 00:38:31,050
Ohh? You on a date?
734
00:38:31,084 --> 00:38:32,385
No, no.
735
00:38:32,418 --> 00:38:34,637
I was, um--
it was a work event.
736
00:38:34,671 --> 00:38:36,397
You wouldn't guess where.
737
00:38:37,215 --> 00:38:38,641
Tell me everything.
738
00:38:38,675 --> 00:38:40,518
It was at Hilton's mansion.
739
00:38:40,552 --> 00:38:41,853
He invited all of us,
740
00:38:41,886 --> 00:38:44,572
me and the Bobs--
Well, not the Bobs so much.
741
00:39:34,314 --> 00:39:37,325
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh. Oh.
742
00:39:37,358 --> 00:39:39,377
Oh, fuck. Oh. Oh.
743
00:39:43,072 --> 00:39:45,291
Happy New Year, Les.
744
00:39:45,325 --> 00:39:46,384
Oh!
745
00:39:56,669 --> 00:39:58,187
Where's Richard?!
746
00:39:59,122 --> 00:40:02,976
Who knows? Weren't you
the last one to see him?
747
00:40:03,009 --> 00:40:05,353
{\an8}How's the formula coming,
huh?
748
00:40:05,386 --> 00:40:06,854
What have you got,
22 days left?
749
00:40:06,888 --> 00:40:09,190
Or is it technically 21 now?
750
00:40:09,223 --> 00:40:10,733
Lindy...
751
00:40:10,767 --> 00:40:13,786
Either way,
I bet you're so close.
752
00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:18,574
Make that the epitaph
of my tiny headstone, fucker.
753
00:40:18,608 --> 00:40:19,826
{\an8}I didn't wanna tell you
754
00:40:19,859 --> 00:40:20,994
{\an8}'cause I didn't wanna
worry you.
755
00:40:21,027 --> 00:40:22,996
{\an8}And I'm not worried!
756
00:40:23,029 --> 00:40:24,664
{\an8}I've accepted.
757
00:40:24,697 --> 00:40:26,582
You can't solve the formula.
758
00:40:26,616 --> 00:40:28,334
I will solve the formula!
Fuck you!
759
00:40:28,368 --> 00:40:30,336
You lie even to yourself.
760
00:40:30,370 --> 00:40:34,382
{\an8}I've made peace
with being six inches tall.
761
00:40:34,415 --> 00:40:36,175
{\an8}I even kinda like it.
762
00:40:36,209 --> 00:40:39,554
{\an8}And I plan to make
the next 21 days of your life
763
00:40:39,587 --> 00:40:42,015
{\an8}a living hell.
764
00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:43,266
{\an8}What? Why?
765
00:40:43,299 --> 00:40:45,268
Careful, sweetie.
766
00:40:45,301 --> 00:40:46,853
Your ass is on fire.
767
00:40:59,273 --> 00:41:00,867
Oh, God.
768
00:41:00,900 --> 00:41:04,128
I've created a tiny monster.
769
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,425
Oh! Oh, no.
770
00:41:14,580 --> 00:41:16,516
The stars have claimed
one of their own.
771
00:41:20,753 --> 00:41:22,814
It's been an honor,
Space Colonel.
772
00:41:36,019 --> 00:41:37,829
Oh.
773
00:41:42,150 --> 00:41:43,910
What the fuck?
774
00:41:43,943 --> 00:41:45,161
Where...
775
00:41:45,194 --> 00:41:46,579
where...
776
00:41:46,612 --> 00:41:49,582
I'll see your tiny cat,
Dr. Littlejohn.
777
00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:52,385
And raise you a tiny,
778
00:41:53,619 --> 00:41:56,589
silenced reporter.
779
00:41:58,458 --> 00:42:01,761
Ta-da.
780
00:42:23,900 --> 00:42:26,335
♪ Let's dance ♪
781
00:42:32,492 --> 00:42:34,343
♪ Let's dance ♪
782
00:42:40,917 --> 00:42:43,719
♪ Let's dance ♪
783
00:42:43,753 --> 00:42:49,350
♪ Put on your red shoes ♪
♪ And dance the blues ♪
784
00:42:49,383 --> 00:42:51,477
♪ Let's dance ♪
785
00:42:51,511 --> 00:42:53,980
♪ To the song ♪
♪ They're playing ♪
786
00:42:54,013 --> 00:42:57,859
♪ On the radio ♪
787
00:42:57,892 --> 00:42:59,485
♪ Let's sway ♪
788
00:42:59,519 --> 00:43:05,124
♪ While color lights up ♪
♪ Your face ♪
789
00:43:06,275 --> 00:43:08,828
♪ Let's sway ♪
790
00:43:08,861 --> 00:43:12,799
♪ Sway through the crowd ♪
♪ To an empty space ♪
791
00:43:14,867 --> 00:43:16,836
♪ Let's dance, let's dance ♪
792
00:43:16,869 --> 00:43:18,921
♪ Let's dance, let's dance ♪
793
00:43:18,955 --> 00:43:20,890
♪ Let's dance ♪
794
00:43:27,380 --> 00:43:28,898
♪ Let's dance ♪
52041
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