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1
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This is a love story.
2
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,569
Love,
3
00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:31,648
it's supposed to be
patient and kind.
4
00:00:31,682 --> 00:00:33,483
But let's be honest,
5
00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:35,235
it's irrational.
6
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,362
It can make us crazy.
7
00:00:37,396 --> 00:00:40,198
And sometimes
downright insane.
8
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:41,291
I should know.
9
00:00:42,901 --> 00:00:45,662
My husband made me small.
10
00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:49,583
Whoa, oh.
11
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,418
No.
12
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:52,753
Whoa!
13
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,339
It's not a metaphor.
14
00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:57,674
He made me six inches tall.
15
00:00:57,708 --> 00:00:59,384
Help!
16
00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:02,095
I'm literally the size
of a dry martini,
17
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,847
shaken, stirred,
18
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,150
and nursing the burn
of every sip.
19
00:01:09,553 --> 00:01:11,521
Even at our ugliest,
20
00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:14,733
I still believe our love's
worth fighting for.
21
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,162
But fair warning,
22
00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:24,293
it's going to get worse
before it gets better.
23
00:01:30,907 --> 00:01:32,250
To us.
24
00:01:32,284 --> 00:01:33,427
To us.
25
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:41,885
To recapturing the magic.
26
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:44,721
To the journey,
not the destination.
27
00:01:44,755 --> 00:01:45,973
And to Dr. Carmichael,
28
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,891
couples therapist
extraordinaire.
29
00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:49,860
- To her words of wisdom.
- Uh-hmm.
30
00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:54,773
And speaking of the journey.
- It was, uh, bumpy.
31
00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:57,901
Yeah. Yeah, hit a few potholes.
32
00:01:57,934 --> 00:01:58,986
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,779
Checked into separate rooms.
34
00:02:00,812 --> 00:02:03,323
Um, but I am working through
35
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,283
my narcissistic tendencies.
36
00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:07,953
And I am working
on my accountability issues.
37
00:02:07,986 --> 00:02:10,330
Uh-hmm. And here we are.
38
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:11,915
We made it.
39
00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,250
Got to the next stop.
40
00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:17,129
Dr. Carmichael's
New year, new us:
41
00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:20,090
a grand gesture.
I'd like to go first.
42
00:02:20,123 --> 00:02:22,476
- Okay. Great. Yeah.
- Okay.
43
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,686
I've arranged to get
the Vermont gang back together
44
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,479
at the gray house
on New Year's Eve
45
00:02:34,513 --> 00:02:36,440
for our anniversary,
46
00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:38,200
so we can renew our vows.
47
00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:42,612
New year, new us.
48
00:02:42,646 --> 00:02:45,782
I'm speechless.
49
00:02:45,816 --> 00:02:47,367
We were so happy there.
50
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,161
Yeah. Uh-hmm.
51
00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:50,787
- Really?
- Really.
52
00:02:50,821 --> 00:02:52,122
Are Gary and Meg
gonna be there?
53
00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:53,957
They're giving up Cabo.
54
00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:55,709
- Lulu?
- Our daughter
55
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,128
has not returned my calls.
- Oh, she's 18, she won't.
56
00:02:58,161 --> 00:02:59,796
They don't do phones.
Always send a text.
57
00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:01,840
- Okay.
- Okay. My turn.
58
00:03:01,873 --> 00:03:03,508
Okay.
59
00:03:03,542 --> 00:03:05,469
- This will be...
- Uh-hmm.
60
00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:08,638
...the last Christmas
that we spend in St. Louis
61
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,724
because I have listed our house
62
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,476
with the contingency
to rent it back
63
00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,061
from the buyer
through next December.
64
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,521
I am going to land this big fish
65
00:03:16,555 --> 00:03:19,149
and tomorrow,
I'm gonna get Hilton Smith
66
00:03:19,182 --> 00:03:21,193
to bankroll the final stage
of my life's work,
67
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:23,695
so that in one year, Lindy,
68
00:03:23,729 --> 00:03:26,073
we can move back
to the gray house
69
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:29,493
permanently,
like I promised years ago.
70
00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:32,329
A clean slate and a fresh start.
71
00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:35,332
I supported you
and you got your prize.
72
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:38,418
And all I ask
is that for one more year
73
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,554
you support me
so I can get mine.
74
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,557
Are you serious?
75
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,719
The listing went up...
76
00:03:47,753 --> 00:03:48,895
today.
77
00:03:52,048 --> 00:03:54,317
- This is real?
- Very.
78
00:03:58,388 --> 00:03:59,573
Les.
79
00:04:02,434 --> 00:04:03,827
I love you.
80
00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:07,497
Lindy, I love you too.
81
00:04:15,447 --> 00:04:17,040
Thank you.
82
00:04:17,073 --> 00:04:19,876
Thank you for inviting me
back into our bed.
83
00:04:44,434 --> 00:04:46,069
How does one solve
84
00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:49,072
the problem
of feeding the world?
85
00:04:49,105 --> 00:04:52,284
Only Les Littlejohn knows.
86
00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:55,745
Now, what if we could take,
say, an ear of corn,
87
00:04:55,779 --> 00:05:00,000
and shrink it to a fraction
of its original size?
88
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:04,129
Just imagine a farmer
could grow ten, a hundred,
89
00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:06,089
a thousand ears of corn
90
00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:08,508
in the space it takes
to grow one.
91
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:12,095
But how does
cellular reduction work?
92
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:15,515
My revolutionary
molecular transformation process
93
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:19,186
fundamentally changes
the distance between atoms.
94
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,271
Oh, the real question is,
95
00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:23,523
can you restore the corn cob
to regular size
96
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,025
after it's been miniaturized?
97
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,861
Not only can we do it,
we will do it,
98
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,038
together, Hilton Smith,
99
00:05:30,305 --> 00:05:32,616
we can make more with less,
100
00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:36,536
and that's L-E-S.
101
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,288
I'll take it from here, Les.
102
00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:39,998
Okay.
103
00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:47,264
Now it's time
to blow your minds.
104
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:53,803
We call this
the mini barn cart.
105
00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:55,805
- No one calls it that.
- Okay. It's just me.
106
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:57,390
See, I grew up on a farm,
where I...
107
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,401
Richard.
Sorry. I get excited.
108
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:30,098
We call this the future.
109
00:06:42,761 --> 00:06:46,773
I am fucking amazed!
110
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,902
It's a corn. And the truck,
you know, it's been...
111
00:06:50,936 --> 00:06:52,028
- I know.
- Look how tiny it is.
112
00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:53,613
It's being tiny.
Yeah.
113
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,115
That's incredible.
I got you. I got you.
114
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,574
You did. You really did.
115
00:06:56,608 --> 00:06:58,910
You really did.
It is crazy.
116
00:06:58,944 --> 00:07:00,745
Oh, amaze me again.
117
00:07:00,779 --> 00:07:02,922
Make, make it big.
I, I, I wanna taste it.
118
00:07:04,282 --> 00:07:06,459
Oh, a big corn
takes a big investment.
119
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,546
Oh, there he is.
Money Man chiming in.
120
00:07:09,579 --> 00:07:10,714
Well, go on.
121
00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:13,133
Uh, you know, uh, Flavor Saver
122
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,885
was a huge step forward.
123
00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:19,389
It was the first and the best
GMO tomato on the market.
124
00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:20,807
But it was a failure.
125
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,392
- Well...
- Well...
126
00:07:22,425 --> 00:07:24,394
No, it wasn't.
It was a breakthrough,
127
00:07:24,427 --> 00:07:26,396
but it tasted
like old Band-Aids.
128
00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:29,532
Admit it.
- No, I don't think I will.
129
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,736
Admit it or I walk.
130
00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:34,496
No.
131
00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:41,911
Fuck yeah!
You should never admit failure.
132
00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:44,456
I got you. I got you. Hey.
- Yes, you did, Hilton.
133
00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:47,250
But this agro tech
is going to change the world.
134
00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:49,085
- Gonna change the world. Jinx?
- Okay.
135
00:07:49,119 --> 00:07:50,920
And just think,
this is only the beginning.
136
00:07:50,954 --> 00:07:53,089
- This is only the beginning.
- Sorry, who are you?
137
00:07:53,123 --> 00:07:55,258
Vivienne.
Hilton's chief scientist.
138
00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:57,260
I'm the guts,
I just write the checks.
139
00:07:57,293 --> 00:07:58,762
She's...
- The brains.
140
00:07:58,795 --> 00:08:01,931
And my guts
never make mistakes.
141
00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:05,310
I mean, I would write you
a check right now,
142
00:08:05,343 --> 00:08:08,438
but for some reason,
143
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:12,575
I'm just not feeling
yummy in my tummy.
144
00:08:14,144 --> 00:08:16,363
You.
- Me?
145
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:17,781
Who are you?
146
00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:19,532
Is this a trick question?
147
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,201
I don't know. Is it?
148
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,161
Well, who are you?
149
00:08:23,194 --> 00:08:25,872
I'm awesome. I'm Hilton.
150
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,882
Well, I'm awesome. I'm Les.
151
00:08:29,659 --> 00:08:32,011
Yeah, I'm gonna need more.
152
00:08:39,002 --> 00:08:40,804
He liked it.
153
00:08:40,837 --> 00:08:42,772
Hey, I'm gonna lose my house.
154
00:09:00,732 --> 00:09:02,117
Hey.
155
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,952
Hey.
156
00:09:03,985 --> 00:09:07,789
Uh, something quietly
revealed itself to me.
157
00:09:07,822 --> 00:09:11,376
- Oh, what's that?
- Maria's staff pick.
158
00:09:11,409 --> 00:09:12,877
My Rainbow Starts With Black.
159
00:09:12,911 --> 00:09:15,547
It's a Pulitzer Prize-winning
novel.
160
00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:20,385
By the one, the only,
Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
161
00:09:20,418 --> 00:09:22,971
That's a lifetime ago.
162
00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:25,807
Mm-mm. Eighteen years
and still a fan fave?
163
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,736
Listen, Richie,
um, we need to talk.
164
00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:34,023
- Uh-oh. No.
- Yeah.
165
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:35,817
No, we've just begun.
166
00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:36,985
- Richie.
- Hold on.
167
00:09:37,018 --> 00:09:38,528
This is just the first act.
168
00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:41,156
Do not turn this into a tragedy.
169
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:43,324
Well, tragedy
is a better story.
170
00:09:43,358 --> 00:09:45,493
Oh, I wish they had, uh,
171
00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:49,038
a section on how to repair
an emotional affair.
172
00:09:49,072 --> 00:09:53,001
Listen, you really saw me
when I needed it the most.
173
00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:54,419
- I did.
- Yeah.
174
00:09:54,452 --> 00:09:56,838
And, and you really gave me
175
00:09:56,871 --> 00:09:59,340
that emotional intimacy
that I craved,
176
00:09:59,374 --> 00:10:00,842
you know.
- Uh-hmm.
177
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:03,011
You were a great shoulder,
178
00:10:03,044 --> 00:10:04,179
an ear.
- Uh-hmm.
179
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:07,182
You're so handsome, young.
180
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:09,058
- Stop it. No, stop it.
- Smart.
181
00:10:09,092 --> 00:10:11,728
And maybe in another life,
but...
182
00:10:11,761 --> 00:10:13,780
But I fell in love.
183
00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:18,109
And you?
- I fell in Les.
184
00:10:18,143 --> 00:10:20,612
- L-E-S. Why?
- Yeah.
185
00:10:20,645 --> 00:10:22,947
Les knows the real me,
186
00:10:22,981 --> 00:10:26,701
the worst of me,
and he, he still loves me.
187
00:10:26,734 --> 00:10:29,120
- I could love the worst of you.
- No.
188
00:10:29,154 --> 00:10:30,580
- Yeah.
- He has 20 years on you
189
00:10:30,613 --> 00:10:32,957
and you've known me,
like, a few months.
190
00:10:32,991 --> 00:10:34,709
Six and a half.
191
00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:36,711
Les...
192
00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:38,546
- Wait, no, no.
- ...he made a grand gesture
193
00:10:38,580 --> 00:10:42,717
and he promised me a fresh start
and I believe him.
194
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,937
Why? No, no, no, no,
actually, don't say.
195
00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:50,058
Love should remain a mystery.
196
00:10:50,091 --> 00:10:51,726
My mom told me that.
197
00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:54,437
Okay. I'm gonna go.
198
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:56,731
- Wait, wait, wait. This...
- Oh, God. No, no.
199
00:10:56,764 --> 00:10:59,067
I got you
this Christmas present.
200
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,902
- Absolutely cannot accept this.
- You must
201
00:11:00,935 --> 00:11:02,904
or it means
our love was in vain.
202
00:11:02,937 --> 00:11:04,614
- Shh, shh, not love.
- Oh, oh. Go. Okay
203
00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:06,741
Just open the card first.
204
00:11:06,774 --> 00:11:10,128
There is no need
to thank me, okay?
205
00:11:25,335 --> 00:11:27,762
Merry Christmas, my love.
206
00:11:27,795 --> 00:11:30,932
In anticipation of New Year,
new you, and new us,
207
00:11:30,965 --> 00:11:34,143
I thought
this would be a great start.
208
00:11:34,177 --> 00:11:36,821
Open the present. I'll wait.
209
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:48,283
I hate this rag.
210
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,326
I know you hate this rag.
211
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,996
But I knew you'd never
send it in yourself.
212
00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:56,174
Give it a quick read.
See if you recognize it.
213
00:11:58,243 --> 00:11:59,877
Oh, Richie.
214
00:11:59,911 --> 00:12:01,629
No, no, no, no.
What have you done?
215
00:12:01,663 --> 00:12:04,173
I pretended
to be your book agent.
216
00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:08,011
Your story is gonna be
in The New Yorker.
217
00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:10,680
No! I didn't write this.
218
00:12:10,713 --> 00:12:12,307
I'm fucked.
219
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,392
I know it's overwhelming
220
00:12:14,425 --> 00:12:15,685
and I'm sure you know.
221
00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:18,021
Holy fuck, Richie!
222
00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:21,566
No, no, no! Oh, my fuck.
223
00:12:21,599 --> 00:12:23,318
Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.
224
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,986
Oh, bitch, pick up. Pick up.
225
00:12:25,019 --> 00:12:26,654
Hi, this is Terry.
Leave a message.
226
00:12:26,688 --> 00:12:29,574
Terry, oh, fuck. Okay.
227
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:31,701
There is a story--
228
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:33,828
there's a story in New Yorker
with my name on it.
229
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:36,331
And I need you to call me back.
This is an emergency.
230
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:39,000
For serious this time.
Call me back.
231
00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:40,134
Fuck.
232
00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:42,503
Fuck!
233
00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:52,597
Uh-hmm?
Shut the door.
234
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,098
- Why?
- 'Cause I want
235
00:12:54,132 --> 00:12:56,392
to raise my voice.
236
00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,019
Jesus jumping crackers.
237
00:12:58,052 --> 00:13:01,064
Why would you invite Hilton
238
00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:03,733
to your charity event
at your home tonight?
239
00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:05,109
'Cause he wants
to know who I am.
240
00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:07,278
- But Lindy will be there.
- And?
241
00:13:07,312 --> 00:13:10,281
I'm sorry, am I the only one
that remembers last year?
242
00:13:10,315 --> 00:13:13,201
The, the, the, silent auction,
the pool incident?
243
00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:15,953
And you're still serving
alcohol this year, right?
244
00:13:15,987 --> 00:13:19,132
Count me out.
I'm sorry. I cannot watch.
245
00:13:21,075 --> 00:13:24,379
I don't think
that my heart or my stomach
246
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:27,090
can tolerate
another interaction with him.
247
00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:28,758
But we are broke.
248
00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:30,718
And he is all we have.
249
00:13:30,752 --> 00:13:34,305
There are no more
interested investors,
250
00:13:34,339 --> 00:13:36,265
Les, with Hilton's kind of cash.
251
00:13:36,299 --> 00:13:38,810
You know what?
Lindy and I are fine now.
252
00:13:38,843 --> 00:13:41,729
We're good even.
And we're renewing our vows.
253
00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:43,231
New year, new us.
- New us.
254
00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:44,732
Yes. You said that last year.
255
00:13:44,766 --> 00:13:45,900
This year, it's gonna stick.
256
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,068
You sleeping in the same bed?
257
00:13:47,101 --> 00:13:48,403
Yes.
258
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,780
- Just sleeping?
- Sleeping plus.
259
00:13:50,813 --> 00:13:53,408
- Big plus?
- Small plus.
260
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,076
I'd feel so much better
if it was big.
261
00:13:55,109 --> 00:13:56,911
We're on the road to big,
I promise you.
262
00:13:56,944 --> 00:13:58,129
Um, okay.
263
00:13:59,822 --> 00:14:01,249
Lindy, it's me.
264
00:14:01,282 --> 00:14:03,167
It's me calling you.
Um, I'm not panicking.
265
00:14:03,201 --> 00:14:05,253
But just call me back
before the party, okay?
266
00:14:05,286 --> 00:14:08,005
It's not an emergency
but it's an emergency.
267
00:14:08,039 --> 00:14:10,133
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm sorry.
- Oh, so sorry, sir.
268
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:11,968
Um, my, uh, my polyp is gone.
269
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,512
Yeah, but there's a hole
in my heart now.
270
00:14:14,545 --> 00:14:16,305
Sounds like a case
for the Bard's Guard.
271
00:14:16,339 --> 00:14:19,142
So I'll be unable to attend
your party this evening.
272
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,027
Our loss. Good luck, Richard.
273
00:14:45,326 --> 00:14:47,462
You're not Jackie.
- I'm Hel.
274
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,630
Don't make me raise it.
Who are you?
275
00:14:49,664 --> 00:14:52,008
Uh, I'm Professor Littlejohn,
Jackie's professor.
276
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:54,302
Did she leave for break already?
Have I missed her?
277
00:14:54,335 --> 00:14:56,471
I hope not,
'cause I'm her fucking ride.
278
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:59,348
- Jackie.
- Professor Littlejohn.
279
00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:01,350
Yeah, Lindy.
You should call me Lindy.
280
00:15:01,384 --> 00:15:03,895
Oh, uh, Hel,
uh, Professor Littlejohn
281
00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:06,647
is the reason that I'm here.
282
00:15:06,681 --> 00:15:09,066
Oh, you wrote
that book she loves.
283
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,860
I didn't read it. No offense.
284
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:13,654
None taken. Jackie,
I'm so glad I caught you.
285
00:15:13,688 --> 00:15:15,072
Can we talk?
286
00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:17,241
Yeah.
Just real quick.
287
00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:18,993
- Oh, you mean without me?
- I do.
288
00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:20,495
Oh.
Is it okay?
289
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:23,080
Oh, yeah. Bit rude.
No offense, but sure.
290
00:15:23,114 --> 00:15:24,540
Okay. Just have a...
291
00:15:24,574 --> 00:15:26,968
Okay.
Hi. Um...
292
00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:31,088
have I done something wrong,
Professor Littlejohn?
293
00:15:31,122 --> 00:15:33,174
Oh, no, no, gosh. No, no.
294
00:15:33,207 --> 00:15:36,010
I have. I have.
295
00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:38,095
I, um...
296
00:15:38,129 --> 00:15:40,440
I need
to tell you something. Uh...
297
00:15:43,885 --> 00:15:46,070
I loved your short story.
298
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,273
- "Untitled on Purpose"?
- Uh-hmm. That's the one.
299
00:15:49,307 --> 00:15:51,609
Yeah, I loved it.
It was brilliant.
300
00:15:51,642 --> 00:15:54,111
Uh, the prose was incisive.
301
00:15:54,145 --> 00:15:57,665
Oh, just the voice,
fresh, distinguished, rare.
302
00:15:57,899 --> 00:16:00,910
One that deserves the attention
303
00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:02,620
of the New York literati.
304
00:16:02,653 --> 00:16:04,413
Wow.
305
00:16:04,447 --> 00:16:06,415
I mean, what--that, that means
306
00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:08,042
the world to me,
Professor Littlejohn.
307
00:16:08,075 --> 00:16:09,544
It's almost--
it's almost Christmas
308
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,128
and you're at my door
complimenting my work.
309
00:16:11,162 --> 00:16:13,130
I--oh, my gosh, I couldn't
ask for a better gift.
310
00:16:13,164 --> 00:16:15,216
Okay. Listen to me.
Listen to me.
311
00:16:15,249 --> 00:16:18,603
You need to turn it
into a novel right now.
312
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:21,931
Now? Really?
313
00:16:21,964 --> 00:16:23,391
Really now. Uh-hmm.
314
00:16:23,424 --> 00:16:24,934
Um...
315
00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:27,061
I guess I could
get started over the break.
316
00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:30,147
Nope. You need to take next
semester off and just write.
317
00:16:30,181 --> 00:16:32,233
The whole semester?
318
00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:33,317
The whole semester.
319
00:16:33,351 --> 00:16:36,112
You just wanna isolate and write
320
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,572
while it's fresh,
while it's here,
321
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,156
while "Untitled on Purpose"
322
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,158
is coursing through you, right?
323
00:16:41,192 --> 00:16:42,660
Yes, yes, I feel it.
324
00:16:42,693 --> 00:16:44,453
Okay. So you need
to isolate and write.
325
00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:46,497
Uh, no distractions,
no internet,
326
00:16:46,531 --> 00:16:48,624
no novels, no magazines,
327
00:16:48,658 --> 00:16:50,585
no, uh, nothing. Right?
- No, no.
328
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,962
Nothing.
- And just all winter long,
329
00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:54,422
uh, very A Room of One's Own.
330
00:16:54,455 --> 00:16:56,757
Woolf it.
- Right. Right. Woolf it!
331
00:16:56,791 --> 00:16:58,426
- Could you do that?
- Yes.
332
00:16:58,459 --> 00:17:00,136
Well, uh, well, Hel's dad,
my Uncle Flip,
333
00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:03,681
he has a cabin back in Montana
that's super isolated.
334
00:17:03,714 --> 00:17:05,433
- Oh.
- Like Walden Pond isolated.
335
00:17:05,466 --> 00:17:06,475
- That's perfect.
- Right?
336
00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:08,152
- Yes. Jackie.
- Yeah?
337
00:17:09,303 --> 00:17:12,356
This has the potential
to be your...
338
00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:14,650
My Rainbow Starts With Black?
339
00:17:14,684 --> 00:17:18,154
No, Professor Littlejohn,
it, it couldn't.
340
00:17:18,187 --> 00:17:20,781
You know, I...
- Jackie. I should know.
341
00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:24,201
My goal in life
is to just write
342
00:17:24,235 --> 00:17:27,288
one, one great novel like you.
343
00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:30,124
That's...
- Okay. So we're great?
344
00:17:30,157 --> 00:17:31,876
You're gonna isolate and write?
- Yes.
345
00:17:31,909 --> 00:17:33,544
- All semester?
- All semester.
346
00:17:33,578 --> 00:17:35,546
- You're going to Montana?
- Yes, Professor Littlejohn!
347
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,298
- Remember, no magazines, right?
- No.
348
00:17:37,331 --> 00:17:38,841
- No? You don't want any?
- Uh-uh.
349
00:17:38,874 --> 00:17:41,469
Just turn off
the internet. Okay?
350
00:17:41,502 --> 00:17:44,472
- I will unplug completely.
- Yes!
351
00:17:44,505 --> 00:17:46,307
Okay. Hey, Merry Christmas.
352
00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:49,193
Merry Christmas to you too!
353
00:17:53,014 --> 00:17:55,650
Okay. Let's--oh.
354
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:58,452
My notes right here.
355
00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:02,290
Ooh.
356
00:18:11,115 --> 00:18:14,001
Oh, fuck. Oh!
357
00:18:14,035 --> 00:18:16,504
Terry! Thank Christ.
Okay. Listen, I...
358
00:18:16,537 --> 00:18:18,506
Lindy, you have 10 minutes.
359
00:18:18,539 --> 00:18:20,341
Blindsiding me
with one short story
360
00:18:20,374 --> 00:18:22,009
published in The New Yorker
over the last two decades
361
00:18:22,043 --> 00:18:23,678
gets you one.
362
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,179
The fact that we've been friends
for more than 20 years
363
00:18:25,212 --> 00:18:26,397
gets you another.
364
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,516
And the other eight
belong to Gillian Flynn,
365
00:18:28,549 --> 00:18:30,267
who continues
to publish bestsellers,
366
00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:33,354
which bought me
a Classic Six off the Park.
367
00:18:33,387 --> 00:18:36,282
I didn't write the story.
It's my student's work.
368
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:42,530
My ex-emotional-lover,
long story,
369
00:18:42,563 --> 00:18:43,906
found the fucking story
370
00:18:43,939 --> 00:18:45,408
in my bag
and thought it was mine.
371
00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:48,244
And I--why would
I correct him, you know?
372
00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,837
He sent it in
373
00:18:50,705 --> 00:18:52,873
without my knowledge,
on my behalf,
374
00:18:52,907 --> 00:18:55,543
because he,
long story, adored me
375
00:18:55,576 --> 00:18:57,712
and thought I was capable of
writing something great again.
376
00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:58,796
What the fuck...
377
00:18:58,829 --> 00:19:00,464
I'm taking a Sabbatical
from WashU.
378
00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:01,716
I'm headed to the gray house.
379
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,884
Les and I
are gonna renew our vows.
380
00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:06,053
Long story, you're invited.
381
00:19:06,087 --> 00:19:07,388
I know you hate him.
382
00:19:07,421 --> 00:19:10,099
I did too. But he is a good dad.
383
00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:13,561
And I'm committed
to committing to my marriage.
384
00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:16,230
So I cannot handle
385
00:19:16,263 --> 00:19:19,316
this shit storm right now,
which is sure,
386
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:21,819
by the way, to tarnish
your reputation as well.
387
00:19:21,852 --> 00:19:24,238
So if you wanna keep
that Classic Six,
388
00:19:24,271 --> 00:19:26,907
then can you please, please
389
00:19:26,941 --> 00:19:29,910
fix this fucking mess
so I can focus on my vows
390
00:19:29,944 --> 00:19:31,629
and my marriage
like I promised?
391
00:19:32,822 --> 00:19:34,999
I hate you.
I know.
392
00:19:35,032 --> 00:19:36,834
I hate me too.
393
00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:38,419
Thank you.
394
00:19:38,452 --> 00:19:40,513
No, no, no.
You're not allowed to thank me.
395
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,344
Oliver!
396
00:20:05,855 --> 00:20:07,865
Les has been calling,
I've been texting.
397
00:20:07,898 --> 00:20:09,658
And I have been busy.
398
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:12,203
Les needs you
on best behavior tonight.
399
00:20:12,236 --> 00:20:13,954
Hilton Smith is attending.
400
00:20:13,988 --> 00:20:16,290
Condescending
as always, Starla.
401
00:20:16,323 --> 00:20:18,501
And who?
Necessary.
402
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:21,212
And he is a big investor.
- You know, I thought
403
00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:22,797
the cover was on the pool
last year, right?
404
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,381
You know that.
- Great.
405
00:20:24,415 --> 00:20:25,633
You already picked up
the first framed tomato.
406
00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:27,176
I did. Yup.
407
00:20:27,209 --> 00:20:28,686
- Uh, it's locked.
- I know.
408
00:20:30,004 --> 00:20:31,972
- Is this another party protest?
- No.
409
00:20:32,006 --> 00:20:33,349
Hilton is here in five.
410
00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:34,809
Starla.
Your dress is upstairs.
411
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:37,394
I need you inside now.
- What? What dress?
412
00:20:37,428 --> 00:20:39,021
Les had me assess
your wardrobe situation
413
00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:40,523
and, and we both agreed
that the only option
414
00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:41,816
was to outsource an upgrade.
415
00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:44,527
Insulting.
416
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,653
And what if I hate it?
417
00:20:45,686 --> 00:20:48,155
Your futures
are on the line.
418
00:20:48,189 --> 00:20:49,657
He said to me, quote,
419
00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:53,536
"No new year, new us
without new money," unquote.
420
00:20:53,569 --> 00:20:55,579
So please just move.
421
00:20:55,613 --> 00:20:57,081
Get out of the car.
422
00:20:57,114 --> 00:20:59,041
Now!
423
00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:00,501
Bye-bye, Starla.
424
00:21:00,534 --> 00:21:04,672
I will have the valet
physically remove you.
425
00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:06,557
I need a minute!
426
00:21:07,917 --> 00:21:09,393
One minute!
427
00:21:11,545 --> 00:21:14,607
I need Hulk out front, stat.
428
00:21:42,493 --> 00:21:44,962
Come on.
Tell me what Les is working on.
429
00:21:44,995 --> 00:21:47,965
This is the cover
of Scientific American.
430
00:21:47,998 --> 00:21:50,050
Okay, he tells me nothing,
Nils.
431
00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:52,219
Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
And you never ask?
432
00:21:52,253 --> 00:21:53,554
Bullshit, Lindy.
433
00:21:53,587 --> 00:21:54,972
I have printed
that same quote from you
434
00:21:55,005 --> 00:21:56,473
10 times over the years.
435
00:21:56,507 --> 00:21:58,726
All I'll say is,
first rule of Fight Club.
436
00:21:58,759 --> 00:22:01,604
Lame and outdated.
437
00:22:01,637 --> 00:22:03,989
Just like Scientific American.
438
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,960
Vodka, dry.
439
00:22:23,659 --> 00:22:24,718
Oh, thank you.
440
00:22:33,127 --> 00:22:34,186
Big Red has landed.
441
00:22:35,796 --> 00:22:36,972
Where's Lindy?
442
00:22:37,006 --> 00:22:38,641
I need eyes on Lady Tomato.
443
00:22:38,674 --> 00:22:40,601
- Hilton?
- Give me a 20 on Deep Pockets.
444
00:22:40,634 --> 00:22:42,102
man: Roger.
None at the second.
445
00:22:42,136 --> 00:22:43,270
Double negative.
446
00:22:43,304 --> 00:22:44,980
Big Red is not happy.
447
00:22:45,014 --> 00:22:47,942
I know amazing style
when I see it.
448
00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:50,444
Oh, this is a facade.
449
00:22:50,477 --> 00:22:52,947
Oh, well,
the facade is working.
450
00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:55,950
Hmm. I'm teetering
on the precipice
451
00:22:55,983 --> 00:22:57,501
of being outed as a fraud.
452
00:22:58,819 --> 00:23:00,955
Which I probably deserve.
453
00:23:00,988 --> 00:23:05,042
I'm supposed to be
the supportive wife
454
00:23:05,075 --> 00:23:07,670
but, uh, my career going up
in flames
455
00:23:07,703 --> 00:23:09,129
is bangin' around my brain.
456
00:23:09,163 --> 00:23:11,215
It's all I can hear.
457
00:23:11,248 --> 00:23:13,634
What does your husband think
about that?
458
00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:16,804
Oh, he has no clue.
He's a fraud too.
459
00:23:16,837 --> 00:23:18,138
Is that so?
460
00:23:18,172 --> 00:23:19,139
Uh-hmm.
461
00:23:20,424 --> 00:23:22,851
Welcome, everyone.
462
00:23:22,885 --> 00:23:26,730
Uh, every year, um, I say
I'm gonna keep it short
463
00:23:26,764 --> 00:23:28,482
and that this night
is not about me,
464
00:23:28,515 --> 00:23:30,734
it's about the children.
465
00:23:30,768 --> 00:23:32,987
And tonight, I'm actually
gonna keep that promise
466
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:37,074
but, you know, let's be honest,
um, it has to be about me first
467
00:23:37,107 --> 00:23:39,410
because you're all here
to bid on my stuff.
468
00:23:40,527 --> 00:23:42,329
Well, he's just
469
00:23:42,363 --> 00:23:47,001
playing the role
of a charitable philanthropist.
470
00:23:47,034 --> 00:23:51,171
But all he really cares about
is his life's work first,
471
00:23:51,205 --> 00:23:52,840
himself second,
our daughter third,
472
00:23:52,873 --> 00:23:55,843
me last,
which I probably deserve.
473
00:23:55,876 --> 00:23:57,177
Well, just curious.
474
00:23:57,211 --> 00:24:00,347
What do you think
about his life's work?
475
00:24:00,381 --> 00:24:04,518
And a very personal little
ditty about Jack and Diane,
476
00:24:04,551 --> 00:24:07,855
my John Cougar Mellencamp
Velcro wallet
477
00:24:07,888 --> 00:24:11,567
with my high school ID
still inside. Huh?
478
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,402
Where else you gonna get
one of those?
479
00:24:13,435 --> 00:24:17,114
I can't tell you that.
480
00:24:17,147 --> 00:24:18,574
It's so top secret actually,
481
00:24:18,607 --> 00:24:21,035
- I have no idea what it is.
- Oh.
482
00:24:21,068 --> 00:24:23,245
Hold on a second.
My, my top elf is really trying
483
00:24:23,278 --> 00:24:24,872
to tell me something.
484
00:24:24,905 --> 00:24:26,582
Lady Tomato on the veranda
with Deep Pockets,
485
00:24:26,615 --> 00:24:28,125
two drinks in, third on deck.
486
00:24:28,158 --> 00:24:30,711
You're fucking joking
or you're fucking fired.
487
00:24:30,744 --> 00:24:32,346
I'll turn in my headset.
488
00:24:34,415 --> 00:24:37,217
But I can tell you,
489
00:24:37,251 --> 00:24:40,220
he's brilliant.
490
00:24:40,254 --> 00:24:41,647
Don't tell him I said that.
491
00:24:42,631 --> 00:24:44,433
Yeah. I mean, I'm already last.
492
00:24:44,466 --> 00:24:45,893
You know, what's after last?
493
00:24:48,012 --> 00:24:49,897
Not much.
494
00:24:49,930 --> 00:24:53,317
So yeah, merry Christmas
and happy holidays,
495
00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:56,737
and, uh, hopefully
that covers it all. Okay.
496
00:24:58,856 --> 00:25:00,491
- Les, five minutes.
- No.
497
00:25:00,524 --> 00:25:01,784
- Two.
- One. Later, maybe.
498
00:25:01,817 --> 00:25:03,410
Done.
Oh, everybody was up.
499
00:25:03,444 --> 00:25:05,120
Hey, Lindy, stop, stop.
You're right--no, no.
500
00:25:05,154 --> 00:25:06,246
- Stop.
- I'm just explaining
501
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,748
to this gentleman
why there's no
502
00:25:07,781 --> 00:25:09,917
outdoor access
this holiday season.
503
00:25:09,950 --> 00:25:13,087
So as a joke, last year,
I put into the silent auction,
504
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:17,758
as a joke, "watch almighty Les
walk on water."
505
00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:19,510
I thought
the cover was on the pool.
506
00:25:19,543 --> 00:25:20,803
- Oh.
- It was not. You got it?
507
00:25:20,836 --> 00:25:22,179
Oh, yeah.
- I'm so sorry.
508
00:25:22,212 --> 00:25:23,597
You get it.
- Hilton, I'm so sorry.
509
00:25:23,630 --> 00:25:25,140
I just wanna say I'm so sorry.
510
00:25:25,174 --> 00:25:26,433
- Hilton?
- Oh, I'd pay right now
511
00:25:26,467 --> 00:25:29,186
to see that, Awesome Les.
512
00:25:29,219 --> 00:25:30,938
If you can walk on water,
513
00:25:30,971 --> 00:25:32,606
you got my money.
514
00:25:32,639 --> 00:25:33,824
Are you being serious?
515
00:25:34,024 --> 00:25:36,276
- No.
- No. Oh, oh, great.
516
00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:37,945
So I can still get the money?
517
00:25:37,978 --> 00:25:41,156
After the conversation
with your wife,
518
00:25:41,190 --> 00:25:42,491
uh...
519
00:25:42,524 --> 00:25:44,660
- ...I don't know.
- Hi, Hilton.
520
00:25:44,693 --> 00:25:45,953
I didn't know, like...
- Okay, Lindy.
521
00:25:45,986 --> 00:25:47,621
Why don't you just not
say anything
522
00:25:47,654 --> 00:25:49,715
and maybe go and get us
a lot of drinks?
523
00:25:51,075 --> 00:25:52,292
Okay. So, um, Hilton,
524
00:25:52,326 --> 00:25:53,627
I don't know
what she said exactly...
525
00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:56,213
Well, she said
that you put work first,
526
00:25:56,246 --> 00:25:58,340
family third, and her dead last.
527
00:25:58,373 --> 00:25:59,633
That's out of context.
528
00:25:59,666 --> 00:26:01,051
What kind of man are you?
529
00:26:01,085 --> 00:26:03,137
I know.
I just--I, I can explain.
530
00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:06,974
- I can explain.
- Oh, my God.
531
00:26:07,007 --> 00:26:09,184
Never explain, anything.
532
00:26:09,218 --> 00:26:12,146
- I got you, again.
- Oh, yeah. [laughs] Again.
533
00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:13,814
You suck at this.
534
00:26:13,847 --> 00:26:15,357
I do. I do. I do.
535
00:26:15,390 --> 00:26:17,317
So just to be clear,
Lindy didn't tank the deal?
536
00:26:17,351 --> 00:26:18,485
She closed it.
537
00:26:18,519 --> 00:26:19,745
Now she's awesome.
538
00:26:20,896 --> 00:26:23,073
Workaholics,
they change the world.
539
00:26:23,107 --> 00:26:26,076
I'm a workaholic. I should know.
- Thank you.
540
00:26:26,110 --> 00:26:27,244
Oh, thank you so much.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
541
00:26:27,277 --> 00:26:28,328
Thank you so much.
542
00:26:28,362 --> 00:26:29,580
I wanna go to work right away,
543
00:26:29,613 --> 00:26:31,039
like fuck the holidays.
- Yeah,
544
00:26:31,073 --> 00:26:32,666
I put it on my Christmas card
every year.
545
00:26:32,699 --> 00:26:34,042
Yeah, you really see me.
546
00:26:34,076 --> 00:26:36,086
- We both do.
- Oh, it's you again.
547
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,588
Hilton's chief scientist.
548
00:26:37,621 --> 00:26:39,339
Oh, the brains.
549
00:26:39,373 --> 00:26:40,507
And the boots.
The boots?
550
00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,092
The boots on the ground.
551
00:26:42,126 --> 00:26:43,093
What do the boots do?
552
00:26:43,127 --> 00:26:44,845
The boots ensure
553
00:26:44,878 --> 00:26:46,396
that my guts are never wrong.
554
00:26:47,798 --> 00:26:49,892
The boots are
a part of the deal.
555
00:26:49,925 --> 00:26:53,187
I'm all in.
Are you, Awesome Les?
556
00:26:59,852 --> 00:27:01,403
Fine. Just, just tell me.
557
00:27:01,436 --> 00:27:03,405
I'm melting down.
558
00:27:03,438 --> 00:27:04,573
Because I fucked the deal?
559
00:27:04,606 --> 00:27:06,241
No, I closed the deal.
560
00:27:06,275 --> 00:27:08,243
I closed the deal.
- Fantastic!
561
00:27:08,277 --> 00:27:09,286
- No!
- What do you mean no?
562
00:27:09,319 --> 00:27:10,913
- It's...
- That's so great!
563
00:27:10,946 --> 00:27:13,290
Oh, my God. I was so worried.
- No, Lindy. No. No.
564
00:27:13,323 --> 00:27:14,917
I mean, I...
- Now, I am saddled
565
00:27:14,950 --> 00:27:17,294
with one of Hilton's
network of bio spies.
566
00:27:17,327 --> 00:27:19,755
His chief scientist
is gonna come in
567
00:27:19,788 --> 00:27:21,423
and she's gonna take credit
for my work,
568
00:27:21,456 --> 00:27:23,634
and all of this
will have been for nothing.
569
00:27:23,667 --> 00:27:26,678
I will be nothing.
My legacy will be nothing.
570
00:27:26,712 --> 00:27:28,847
I shall go to the grave
without a Nobel.
571
00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:32,935
You know, this was
my last chance at greatness.
572
00:27:32,968 --> 00:27:34,937
Gone.
573
00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:37,356
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
574
00:27:39,308 --> 00:27:45,197
Hey, come on.
You remember Joan Ryan, huh?
575
00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:48,534
- Yeah, my nemesis at MIT.
- That's right.
576
00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:50,327
You were convinced
577
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,789
that the PhD board
was gonna pick her over you
578
00:27:53,822 --> 00:27:55,457
and you were gonna be relegated
579
00:27:55,490 --> 00:27:57,501
to just a footnote
in the science community
580
00:27:57,534 --> 00:27:58,877
or some other science
bad thing, right?
581
00:27:58,911 --> 00:28:03,173
But what actually happened, Les?
582
00:28:03,207 --> 00:28:04,266
They chose me.
583
00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:06,435
They chose you.
584
00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:09,137
And where's Joan Ryan?
585
00:28:09,171 --> 00:28:11,523
Teaching at Berkeley.
586
00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:14,518
And where are you?
587
00:28:14,551 --> 00:28:16,311
- In St. Louis.
- But why?
588
00:28:16,345 --> 00:28:18,814
Oh, uh...
589
00:28:18,847 --> 00:28:21,984
to give the finger to those
ungrateful pricks at Monsanto,
590
00:28:22,017 --> 00:28:24,486
and to build the Menlo Park
of the Midwest.
591
00:28:24,519 --> 00:28:26,822
- And how?
- How? Because I am--
592
00:28:26,855 --> 00:28:28,490
I am a partner
in my own company,
593
00:28:28,523 --> 00:28:30,867
creating the bioagro tech
that will change the world.
594
00:28:30,901 --> 00:28:31,994
That's right.
Yeah.
595
00:28:32,027 --> 00:28:33,045
You're gonna change the world.
596
00:28:35,364 --> 00:28:36,423
And you are.
597
00:28:37,366 --> 00:28:39,209
I've always believed that.
598
00:28:39,243 --> 00:28:41,003
Even when you hated me?
599
00:28:41,036 --> 00:28:42,054
Oh.
600
00:28:43,622 --> 00:28:46,091
Especially when I hated you.
601
00:28:46,124 --> 00:28:48,093
So what do I do?
602
00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:50,679
You do what you always do.
603
00:28:50,712 --> 00:28:55,350
You get back in the workshop
and you figure it out.
604
00:28:55,384 --> 00:28:58,270
That's what Les Littlejohn does.
Yeah.
605
00:28:58,303 --> 00:29:01,064
- Right?
- Yeah. Right.
606
00:29:01,098 --> 00:29:02,858
Right?
- Oh.
607
00:29:02,891 --> 00:29:03,909
Okay.
608
00:29:04,935 --> 00:29:06,403
That's it.
609
00:29:06,436 --> 00:29:08,280
That's it.
Thank you, Lindy.
610
00:29:08,313 --> 00:29:11,199
Thank you
for being so understanding.
611
00:29:11,233 --> 00:29:13,785
Oh, God.
612
00:29:13,819 --> 00:29:16,038
So now, I gotta get back
in the workshop
613
00:29:16,071 --> 00:29:19,374
and let's move our--
renewing our vows to next year.
614
00:29:19,408 --> 00:29:20,709
That's a fantastic idea.
615
00:29:20,742 --> 00:29:22,127
Les, no, I didn't--what?
616
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:23,762
Huh?
That's what you said, right?
617
00:29:24,579 --> 00:29:26,882
Huh?
- Did I?
618
00:29:26,915 --> 00:29:28,467
- Yeah.
- Gary and Meg.
619
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,260
Oh, Gary and Meg would
much prefer to go to Cabo.
620
00:29:30,294 --> 00:29:31,303
Let's send them something.
621
00:29:31,336 --> 00:29:32,929
- Sign my name.
- No, no, no,
622
00:29:32,963 --> 00:29:34,806
that'll be so humiliating to me.
- Oh, don't worry. Don't worry.
623
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,141
I'll tell Lulu
that she can just go
624
00:29:36,174 --> 00:29:37,601
skiing with her friends
like she wanted.
625
00:29:37,634 --> 00:29:38,602
So I'll see you when I see you.
626
00:29:38,635 --> 00:29:39,728
I'll be back when I'm back.
627
00:29:39,761 --> 00:29:41,438
And, um, I love you
628
00:29:41,471 --> 00:29:45,117
and I can't wait for new year,
new us next year. Mwah!
629
00:29:51,606 --> 00:29:52,741
Motherfucker!
630
00:29:54,109 --> 00:29:58,171
Is he fucking kidding me?!
631
00:30:00,615 --> 00:30:01,675
I'm...
632
00:30:15,839 --> 00:30:16,973
Lindy?
633
00:30:17,007 --> 00:30:20,068
Um, Richie. Um...
634
00:30:21,136 --> 00:30:22,187
I made a mistake
635
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:25,607
and I'm, I'm leaving Les
tonight.
636
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,109
I hear
the emotion in your voice
637
00:30:27,142 --> 00:30:28,610
and it's beautiful.
638
00:30:28,643 --> 00:30:30,278
I've been hoping
for a Christmas miracle.
639
00:30:30,312 --> 00:30:32,114
Yeah, I'm gonna go to Vermont.
640
00:30:32,147 --> 00:30:33,281
I'm gonna go to the gray house.
641
00:30:33,315 --> 00:30:35,033
And I, um--
642
00:30:35,067 --> 00:30:36,827
could you--could you
come with me?
643
00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:39,496
Where you finished
your masterpiece.
644
00:30:39,529 --> 00:30:41,998
I'd be honored to be invited.
A gift beyond measure.
645
00:30:42,032 --> 00:30:43,375
Uh, I have
10 vacation days
646
00:30:43,408 --> 00:30:44,626
and one personal day
banked...
647
00:30:44,659 --> 00:30:46,503
Um...
...and, uh--oh.
648
00:30:46,536 --> 00:30:48,463
Heart emoji.
649
00:30:48,497 --> 00:30:51,174
Uh, let--let's meet
at Mandy's Diner at midnight.
650
00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:52,801
Heart emoji back.
651
00:30:52,834 --> 00:30:54,970
I'll arrive
with joy in my step
652
00:30:55,003 --> 00:30:56,513
and a light in my heart.
653
00:30:56,546 --> 00:30:57,806
Did you love my present?
654
00:30:57,839 --> 00:30:59,558
The fuck!
Pardon?
655
00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:01,351
Yeah, I...
656
00:31:01,385 --> 00:31:05,147
I didn't have
the heart to open it,
657
00:31:05,180 --> 00:31:08,150
so, um, I'll just bring it
with me, okay?
658
00:31:08,183 --> 00:31:10,861
New year, new you, new us.
659
00:31:10,894 --> 00:31:12,320
Oh, is Vermont cold?
I get...
660
00:31:35,043 --> 00:31:38,480
Everybody out in 30 minutes
or Hulk is gonna see me smash.
661
00:31:41,049 --> 00:31:43,894
Iceberg ahead 30 clicks.
Abandon ship.
662
00:31:43,927 --> 00:31:45,270
Lady Tomato about to burst.
663
00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:47,189
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
664
00:31:47,222 --> 00:31:49,074
Les promised me a minute.
665
00:31:51,268 --> 00:31:52,619
I'll give you 20.
666
00:32:11,329 --> 00:32:12,347
Excuse me?
667
00:32:13,148 --> 00:32:16,927
I thought the boots up my ass
might start after the holidays.
668
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,012
Martin signed the LOI ASAP
669
00:32:19,045 --> 00:32:21,431
and Hilton turned on the money
hose in good faith.
670
00:32:21,465 --> 00:32:23,475
I didn't sign.
I'm a partner.
671
00:32:23,508 --> 00:32:26,102
Apparently
not the important one.
672
00:32:26,136 --> 00:32:31,817
Oh. Well, now I'm inspired
and I would like you to leave.
673
00:32:31,850 --> 00:32:34,110
A genius needs his space.
674
00:32:34,144 --> 00:32:35,612
Exactly.
675
00:32:35,645 --> 00:32:38,698
And I plan on being inspired
throughout the holidays.
676
00:32:38,732 --> 00:32:41,618
I know this is
a difficult transition period.
677
00:32:41,651 --> 00:32:43,703
I'll give you tonight.
678
00:32:43,737 --> 00:32:45,172
But I will be back tomorrow.
679
00:32:47,157 --> 00:32:50,093
Boots on the ground,
Dr. Littlejohn.
680
00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:55,265
Fuck me.
681
00:33:32,410 --> 00:33:34,387
Nils, I don't have time.
682
00:33:37,374 --> 00:33:38,725
She what?
683
00:34:01,398 --> 00:34:03,917
You're old. Text me.
684
00:34:08,405 --> 00:34:10,006
Fuck you too.
685
00:34:13,410 --> 00:34:14,678
Starla?
686
00:34:23,295 --> 00:34:25,055
Les.
687
00:34:25,088 --> 00:34:27,766
Freezer is off limits
from now on, until I say.
688
00:34:27,799 --> 00:34:30,936
We need to regroup.
Where are you going?
689
00:34:30,969 --> 00:34:32,562
I'm leaving you.
690
00:34:32,596 --> 00:34:33,939
Pfft. If anyone should be
leaving anyone,
691
00:34:33,972 --> 00:34:36,399
I should be leaving you.
- How's that?
692
00:34:36,433 --> 00:34:37,901
For trying to sabotage
my career.
693
00:34:37,934 --> 00:34:39,235
Think I don't know, huh?
694
00:34:39,269 --> 00:34:40,403
You don't think
Nils would call me
695
00:34:40,437 --> 00:34:41,988
for comment, Lindy.
696
00:34:42,022 --> 00:34:44,449
It's Scientific American,
not TMZ.
697
00:34:44,482 --> 00:34:46,159
I'm a hoax, am I?
698
00:34:46,192 --> 00:34:47,953
And threatened
by a female scientist
699
00:34:47,986 --> 00:34:49,120
taking credit for my work?
700
00:34:49,154 --> 00:34:51,164
You mentioned Joan?
701
00:34:51,197 --> 00:34:52,916
I'm not a misogynist.
702
00:34:52,949 --> 00:34:55,168
I'm not--I'm not intentionally.
- Oh?
703
00:34:55,201 --> 00:34:56,461
If anything,
I'm an accidental misogynist
704
00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:58,004
and I too blame
the patriarchy for that.
705
00:34:58,038 --> 00:35:00,090
I never said misogynist.
706
00:35:00,123 --> 00:35:01,925
Why would you do this? Why?
707
00:35:01,958 --> 00:35:04,177
You know why.
708
00:35:04,210 --> 00:35:06,346
Is it about Gary and Meg?
709
00:35:06,379 --> 00:35:09,808
This is about you
and our marriage,
710
00:35:09,841 --> 00:35:13,687
and breaking the promise
of step three: a grand gesture.
711
00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:15,647
And our daughter who hates me.
712
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,442
Sucking the life out of me
and my promising writing career.
713
00:35:19,476 --> 00:35:21,528
Career? Stop!
714
00:35:21,561 --> 00:35:24,447
It was one book
in the early aughts.
715
00:35:24,481 --> 00:35:26,199
This is what you did.
You basically...
716
00:35:26,232 --> 00:35:28,952
you turned in a book report
on your fucked-up family...
717
00:35:28,985 --> 00:35:30,286
Oh.
...you changed the names,
718
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,038
you added a little bit
of wry sarcasm,
719
00:35:32,072 --> 00:35:33,289
and then you called it fiction,
720
00:35:33,323 --> 00:35:34,791
and you got lucky.
721
00:35:34,824 --> 00:35:36,793
Look...
- My Rainbow Starts With Black.
722
00:35:36,826 --> 00:35:39,713
No shit.
- My book report
723
00:35:39,746 --> 00:35:41,006
and the subsequent
724
00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:43,466
Oscar-nominated film
it's based on,
725
00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:48,388
bought and paid for this
extravagantly sad McMansion
726
00:35:48,421 --> 00:35:53,059
in this Podunk red-state town
you forced us to move to
727
00:35:53,093 --> 00:35:55,228
so that you could try
to be something other than
728
00:35:55,261 --> 00:35:57,981
Mr. Fucking Tomato Head.
729
00:35:58,014 --> 00:35:59,315
This is the last thing
I need right now.
730
00:35:59,349 --> 00:36:00,358
- Oh, my...
- Yes.
731
00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:01,901
I'm so sorry.
732
00:36:01,935 --> 00:36:03,486
What is it you need right now?
733
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,155
- I need you. Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
734
00:36:05,188 --> 00:36:08,199
I need your support.
This is my last chance.
735
00:36:08,233 --> 00:36:11,369
You already got your prize.
736
00:36:11,403 --> 00:36:13,204
And in case you forgot,
737
00:36:13,238 --> 00:36:17,042
I was by your side
for every fucking sentence.
738
00:36:17,075 --> 00:36:19,753
Every book signing,
every interview.
739
00:36:19,786 --> 00:36:22,172
I held your purse,
I held my tongue.
740
00:36:22,205 --> 00:36:23,715
You know,
I was there for the ride.
741
00:36:23,748 --> 00:36:25,425
And it wasn't always pleasant.
742
00:36:25,458 --> 00:36:28,094
You know, the rollercoaster
of insecurity and emotion,
743
00:36:28,128 --> 00:36:30,096
is frankly fucking exhausting.
744
00:36:30,130 --> 00:36:32,515
I have paid that debt!
745
00:36:32,549 --> 00:36:35,226
I have been by your side
for 15 years!
746
00:36:35,260 --> 00:36:41,858
You had Flavor Saver
and it was insufferable.
747
00:36:41,891 --> 00:36:44,778
Still is.
- But I didn't get my moment
748
00:36:44,811 --> 00:36:46,529
in the spotlight like you did.
749
00:36:46,563 --> 00:36:47,697
I didn't get
750
00:36:47,731 --> 00:36:49,074
my prize.
751
00:36:49,107 --> 00:36:50,116
Swing and a miss.
752
00:36:50,150 --> 00:36:52,577
How is it my fault?
753
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:54,079
How?
754
00:36:54,112 --> 00:36:55,205
My apologies.
755
00:36:55,238 --> 00:36:56,748
Forgive me for being ambitious.
756
00:36:56,781 --> 00:36:58,583
Um, coasting by
757
00:36:58,616 --> 00:37:01,127
on a one-hit wonder
isn't enough for me.
758
00:37:01,161 --> 00:37:03,463
Maybe you don't have another
hit in you. Huh?
759
00:37:03,496 --> 00:37:05,381
Maybe you're one and done.
760
00:37:05,415 --> 00:37:07,926
Maybe your ego just won't
let you read the room.
761
00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:10,053
I would rather
be blinded by my ego
762
00:37:10,086 --> 00:37:12,055
than paralyzed by fear.
That's me?
763
00:37:12,088 --> 00:37:13,223
That's what you think of me?
Yeah.
764
00:37:13,256 --> 00:37:14,224
Because you haven't produced
765
00:37:14,257 --> 00:37:16,101
one goddamn sentence
766
00:37:16,134 --> 00:37:17,727
in 15 years.
767
00:37:17,761 --> 00:37:19,229
What kind of magic do you
think you're suddenly gonna find
768
00:37:19,262 --> 00:37:20,447
in your beloved gray house, huh?
769
00:37:20,647 --> 00:37:21,898
With me by your side,
770
00:37:21,931 --> 00:37:24,150
like an emotional support
animal,
771
00:37:24,184 --> 00:37:26,444
encouraging you,
keeping you calm,
772
00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:29,906
because, quote, "I promised we'd
return there one day," unquote.
773
00:37:29,939 --> 00:37:34,327
I mean, I am through
being held emotionally hostage
774
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,663
for your creative paralysis.
775
00:37:36,696 --> 00:37:39,165
And there it is, everyone.
776
00:37:39,199 --> 00:37:41,167
That's our show.
777
00:37:41,201 --> 00:37:44,304
Same line every time.
778
00:37:48,666 --> 00:37:52,846
This is the top-secret thing
779
00:37:52,879 --> 00:37:55,014
you've been working on?
- Give me that. Give me--
780
00:37:55,048 --> 00:37:56,808
uh, no, no, no, no, no.
- A Tonka truck
781
00:37:56,841 --> 00:37:58,309
is not gonna change the world,
782
00:37:58,343 --> 00:38:00,770
let alone "agriculture
as we know it."
783
00:38:00,804 --> 00:38:02,355
You have no idea
what you're talking about.
784
00:38:02,388 --> 00:38:04,107
Jesus. This is what you said
to every female scientist
785
00:38:04,140 --> 00:38:05,692
that's ever had a better idea.
786
00:38:05,725 --> 00:38:09,279
You know, most men
overcompensate with a big truck,
787
00:38:09,312 --> 00:38:11,656
It's nice to see yours
to scale.
788
00:38:13,066 --> 00:38:15,210
Oh.
789
00:38:17,195 --> 00:38:19,455
Jeez. What a gentleman.
790
00:38:19,489 --> 00:38:20,507
Oh, fuck.
791
00:38:21,825 --> 00:38:23,626
- What?
- Oh, no, Lindy.
792
00:38:23,660 --> 00:38:24,886
What's...?
793
00:38:26,162 --> 00:38:27,463
What'd you do?
794
00:38:30,416 --> 00:38:31,893
What is happening to me?
795
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,558
Oh, oh, oh.
796
00:38:41,427 --> 00:38:43,238
Lindy, hey.
797
00:38:44,180 --> 00:38:45,865
Oh, God. Is she dead? Oh.
798
00:38:51,020 --> 00:38:52,038
Lindy.
799
00:38:53,606 --> 00:38:54,699
Say something.
800
00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:56,159
Are you alive?
801
00:38:56,192 --> 00:38:57,243
{\an8}Oh.
802
00:38:57,277 --> 00:38:58,661
{\an8}Oh, you're alive!
803
00:39:01,531 --> 00:39:04,375
{\an8}Fuck you! Fuck you!
804
00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:23,561
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
♪ I don't wanna fight tonight ♪
805
00:39:23,595 --> 00:39:26,689
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
♪ I don't wanna fight tonight ♪
806
00:39:26,723 --> 00:39:28,274
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
807
00:39:28,308 --> 00:39:30,860
♪ I don't want to fight ♪
808
00:39:30,894 --> 00:39:34,197
♪ Tonight with you ♪
809
00:39:35,398 --> 00:39:36,616
{\an8}Good morning.
810
00:39:36,649 --> 00:39:38,785
{\an8}How long
until you can fix me?
811
00:39:39,652 --> 00:39:42,171
{\an8}I need the truth!
812
00:39:43,573 --> 00:39:44,591
{\an8}I don't know.
813
00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:48,211
{\an8}But I'm making
really good progress.
814
00:39:48,244 --> 00:39:50,263
{\an8}It's incredible.
815
00:39:52,457 --> 00:39:53,299
{\an8}No.
816
00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:54,425
{\an8}Moving forward,
817
00:39:54,459 --> 00:39:55,927
{\an8}everything that happens
in this lab
818
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,313
{\an8}will be authorized by me.
819
00:39:58,546 --> 00:39:59,973
{\an8}Mom wrote something?
820
00:40:00,006 --> 00:40:01,641
{\an8}The story is viral.
821
00:40:01,674 --> 00:40:04,394
{\an8}This is a ticking time bomb
that is going to blow.
822
00:40:04,427 --> 00:40:06,529
{\an8}But you're gonna fix that.
823
00:40:09,933 --> 00:40:11,951
{\an8}That means the world to me.
824
00:40:12,418 --> 00:40:13,903
{\an8}Richard, were you at my house?
825
00:40:13,937 --> 00:40:15,705
{\an8}Lindy, wherefore art thou?
826
00:40:17,607 --> 00:40:19,375
{\an8}I was in the--
I was in the neighborhood.
827
00:40:20,777 --> 00:40:23,079
{\an8}So I think Mom has had...
828
00:40:23,112 --> 00:40:25,081
{\an8}An emotional breakdown?
She--no, no, no, no.
829
00:40:25,114 --> 00:40:26,666
{\an8}So Hurricane Lindy
is tracking northeast.
830
00:40:26,699 --> 00:40:27,717
{\an8}No, don't say that.
831
00:40:29,869 --> 00:40:30,920
{\an8}I'm the villain.
832
00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:34,257
{\an8}Lindy!
833
00:40:34,290 --> 00:40:35,183
{\an8}Oh, fuck!
834
00:40:37,126 --> 00:40:38,344
{\an8}Oh, God.
835
00:40:38,378 --> 00:40:40,305
{\an8}I've created a tiny monster.
56010
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