All language subtitles for The Miniature Wife s01e02 Merry Christmas, Lindy.eng

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,516 --> 00:00:10,168 Lindy: New year, new us. 2 00:00:10,202 --> 00:00:11,211 We can renew our vows. 3 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,379 -[laughs] 4 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:13,964 I love you. 5 00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:15,132 -But I fell in love. 6 00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:17,676 -Les promised me a fresh start. 7 00:00:17,709 --> 00:00:20,804 -Now it's time to blow your minds. 8 00:00:20,837 --> 00:00:23,307 We call this the future. 9 00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:25,976 -I am fucking amazed! 10 00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:27,477 [laughter] 11 00:00:27,511 --> 00:00:29,146 Richard: I pretended to be your book agent. 12 00:00:29,179 --> 00:00:30,230 Lindy: I didn't write the story. 13 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:31,815 It's my student's work. 14 00:00:31,848 --> 00:00:32,900 Les: I closed the deal. 15 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,401 -You're gonna change the world. 16 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,861 You get back in the workshop 17 00:00:35,894 --> 00:00:37,321 and you figure it out. 18 00:00:37,354 --> 00:00:39,573 -Let's move our "renewing our vows" to next year. 19 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:42,200 That's a fantastic idea! -Motherfucker! 20 00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:44,077 Richie, I'm leaving Les. 21 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:46,038 -I need you. Lindy: I have been by your side 22 00:00:46,071 --> 00:00:47,548 for 15 years. 23 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,259 Ah! -Oh, fuck. 24 00:00:53,245 --> 00:00:55,923 Oh, you're alive! [laughs] 25 00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,057 -Oh. 26 00:01:23,275 --> 00:01:25,077 [gasp] 27 00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,503 [groans] 28 00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:36,096 Les? 29 00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,467 Oh, fuck. 30 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,102 Oh. 31 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,273 What time is it? 32 00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:50,319 Oh, shit. 33 00:01:54,264 --> 00:01:57,117 Oh, boy, ohh. 34 00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:11,581 How much did I drink last night? 35 00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:13,342 Les? 36 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,181 Why would you put the plaid back up? 37 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:24,344 God. It hurts my eyes... [high frequency beeps] 38 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:25,646 -...and my head. 39 00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:31,985 Oh, dry January starts today. 40 00:02:35,305 --> 00:02:36,323 Oh. 41 00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,826 Oh, wow. They really cleaned up. 42 00:02:43,188 --> 00:02:44,498 Les? 43 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,168 [doorbell dings] 44 00:02:49,986 --> 00:02:51,505 -Who's at the door? 45 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,846 [continues dinging] 46 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,969 -What is this nonsense? 47 00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:07,521 [dinging repeatedly] 48 00:03:09,339 --> 00:03:10,399 -[gasps] 49 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,727 [screams] 50 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,187 No, no, no, no, no, no. 51 00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:16,980 Les: Lindy? 52 00:03:17,013 --> 00:03:18,732 Everything is fine. 53 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,409 Don't freak out. 54 00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:25,580 -[gasping] 55 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:31,294 Les: Lindy? 56 00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:36,583 Okay. I'm opening up the dollhouse. 57 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,302 -Stop screaming at me! 58 00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:42,005 [shaking] 59 00:03:42,038 --> 00:03:45,008 [floor creaking] -Whoa, whoa! Whoa! 60 00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:46,093 No! [objects clattering] 61 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,511 -Oh, my God! 62 00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:48,553 My God! 63 00:03:48,587 --> 00:03:49,846 Whoa, whoa! 64 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:50,939 Stop, stop, stop, stop! 65 00:03:51,239 --> 00:03:53,817 Whoa, whoa! Oh, oh! 66 00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:04,277 -There you are. -Ah! 67 00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:05,412 -You're okay! 68 00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:12,536 -I am not okay! 69 00:04:12,569 --> 00:04:15,172 [theme music playing] 70 00:04:17,574 --> 00:04:19,543 -Can you hear me? I am not okay. 71 00:04:19,576 --> 00:04:21,303 -[mouthing] 72 00:04:26,625 --> 00:04:28,718 -I am not okay! 73 00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:31,388 -It works! I can hear you! Ha. 74 00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:33,390 -You're too loud! 75 00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:34,724 -[whispers] Sorry. 76 00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,393 -Well, now I can't hear you. 77 00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:37,644 -How about now? 78 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:38,895 -No, too loud. 79 00:04:38,929 --> 00:04:40,480 -Now? 80 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:41,398 -Softer. 81 00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:42,482 -Now? 82 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,234 Lindy: Better. 83 00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,952 I hate this fuckin' thing. 84 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,741 Can you hear me now? -Say again? 85 00:04:51,775 --> 00:04:53,451 -Can you hear me now? 86 00:04:53,485 --> 00:04:54,911 -Yes! Ooh. -Oh! 87 00:04:54,945 --> 00:04:56,746 -Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry. -Jesus. 88 00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:58,498 -Are you okay? 89 00:04:58,532 --> 00:04:59,958 -I'm fine. 90 00:04:59,991 --> 00:05:01,126 -I heard that. 91 00:05:01,159 --> 00:05:03,461 God, I think we got it. 92 00:05:03,495 --> 00:05:05,297 Hi. 93 00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:07,257 -What the fuck, Les? 94 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:09,509 -I heard that too. Loud and clear. 95 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,595 Okay. Lindy, I'm so sorry. 96 00:05:11,628 --> 00:05:13,471 It was an accident. 97 00:05:13,505 --> 00:05:15,682 And, uh, I can't believe it even happened. 98 00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:18,435 I don't--I don't--I-- but you're incredible. 99 00:05:18,468 --> 00:05:21,905 I mean, you're beautiful. [laughs] 100 00:05:25,183 --> 00:05:27,694 -Are you smiling right now? 101 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,654 -No, no, no. No, of course not. 102 00:05:29,688 --> 00:05:31,331 I, I just--I-- 103 00:05:32,983 --> 00:05:34,417 it's just like, wow. 104 00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,954 -Wow. Wow? 105 00:05:37,988 --> 00:05:39,497 Wow? 106 00:05:39,531 --> 00:05:40,874 -No, I apologize. You're my wife 107 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,334 and you're not an experiment. I... 108 00:05:42,367 --> 00:05:45,128 -I should hope so! 109 00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:46,796 Jesus. Oh, my God. 110 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,673 This is your job? 111 00:05:48,707 --> 00:05:50,800 This is how you're gonna solve world hunger? 112 00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:53,803 You're gonna make everybody tiny so, 113 00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:55,639 so they don't, what, eat more? I don't... 114 00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:58,358 -Uh-huh. Do you--do you want me to answer that or... 115 00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:01,478 -Explain it to me. 116 00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:05,398 -Well, um, it's called "cellular reduction" 117 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,984 and, um, it's the process of miniaturization 118 00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:11,821 and restoration of organic fruit, uh, and vegetables. 119 00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:15,575 And that's how I plan to solve world hunger. 120 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,495 -Explain how you're gonna make me big again! 121 00:06:18,528 --> 00:06:21,206 Jesus! I don't give a shit how it works! 122 00:06:21,239 --> 00:06:23,041 -Oh, right. Well, I just reverse the process. 123 00:06:23,074 --> 00:06:24,384 That's the restoration part. 124 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,254 -Great. 125 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,422 Restore me. 126 00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,258 Now, please. 127 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,426 -I can do that, um, uh, 128 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,845 but first, uh, a surprise. 129 00:06:35,879 --> 00:06:38,273 Meet me in the dining room. 130 00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:43,270 Merry Christmas, Lindy. 131 00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:47,357 -Les, do I look merry or hungry? 132 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:50,026 -Well, it's kind of hard to tell from this distance, um... 133 00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:53,446 -I'm not. Make me big again, now. 134 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,240 -Heard that loud and clear. 135 00:06:55,273 --> 00:06:57,284 Um, the thing is... 136 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,786 -Tell me you can make me big again, Les. 137 00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:01,705 Les: I can, and I will. 138 00:07:01,738 --> 00:07:03,790 Um, the thing is, that it's just-- 139 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:07,752 I think it's just gonna take a day, uh, or two, tops, 140 00:07:07,786 --> 00:07:09,045 but you'll be fine. 141 00:07:09,079 --> 00:07:10,213 Everything's gonna be okay. 142 00:07:10,246 --> 00:07:11,214 You're healthy. 143 00:07:11,247 --> 00:07:12,432 I checked your vitals. 144 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:15,468 -Wait, I could die tiny? 145 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:19,222 -No, you--you're not gonna die tiny. 146 00:07:19,255 --> 00:07:21,308 You'll be safe in the dollhouse 147 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:25,437 because it's almost exactly the same as our house house. 148 00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:29,232 Um, the stove works, the refrigerator works, 149 00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:31,818 there's food, the water runs, 150 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,070 and I shrunk a few of your favorite things 151 00:07:34,104 --> 00:07:36,281 to really make you feel at home home. 152 00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:39,542 Your clothes from your closet. 153 00:07:40,652 --> 00:07:44,547 Um, and, uh, this curling thing 154 00:07:47,158 --> 00:07:48,501 and your hair brush. 155 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:51,504 Uh, cold cream, 156 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,340 looked important. 157 00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,133 Oh, and I remembered your coffee 158 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:57,510 and the coffeemaker, worked perfectly, right? 159 00:07:57,544 --> 00:08:00,347 Oh, one crucial thing, um, the toilet. 160 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,599 Uh, it works. I figured it out. 161 00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:06,353 Just don't ever look in the hall closet downstairs, ever. 162 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,480 You will be restored to regular size. 163 00:08:08,513 --> 00:08:11,107 I promise. This is just temporary, Lindy. 164 00:08:11,141 --> 00:08:14,110 I am so close, truly. 165 00:08:14,144 --> 00:08:16,613 -Now it's so close? 166 00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:20,158 Not a day or two, tops? 167 00:08:20,191 --> 00:08:23,620 Les, you motherfucker! 168 00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:24,788 [clatters] 169 00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:27,040 -Hey. Calm down. 170 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,166 [Lindy grunts] 171 00:08:28,199 --> 00:08:29,876 [squeals] [shatters] 172 00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:32,011 -Calm fucking down? 173 00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:34,889 [grunts] 174 00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:38,435 [grunting] 175 00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:45,358 [screaming] 176 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:52,148 [sobs] Why me? 177 00:08:52,182 --> 00:08:53,408 -Hey, Lindy. 178 00:08:54,893 --> 00:08:57,537 -I'm gonna need a minute! 179 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,875 I don't wanna be little. 180 00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:07,338 ? He's been away... ? 181 00:09:14,204 --> 00:09:15,630 -Thank you. 182 00:09:15,663 --> 00:09:18,258 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du. 183 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,677 You can--you can refill milady's cup too. 184 00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,178 -[sighs] 185 00:09:22,212 --> 00:09:23,805 -She's on her way, Barb. 186 00:09:23,838 --> 00:09:25,807 -She's gone back to her husband. -No. 187 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,642 -They always do. -Not this time. 188 00:09:27,675 --> 00:09:29,811 Nope, nope, nope, 'cause we've got plans. 189 00:09:29,844 --> 00:09:31,479 Yup. 190 00:09:31,513 --> 00:09:33,531 We got concrete plans. 191 00:09:37,352 --> 00:09:43,324 How about a ten-day getaway to Vermont for two? 192 00:09:43,358 --> 00:09:45,668 Uber-romantic. [door opens] 193 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,835 -There are multiple reasons she could be late. 194 00:09:53,868 --> 00:09:55,462 No, I know Lindy's coming. 195 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,047 Why, you may ask? 196 00:09:58,081 --> 00:10:02,677 Because our love story is woven into the fabric of time, 197 00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:05,013 destined to be written, 198 00:10:05,046 --> 00:10:08,141 immortalized for generations to come. 199 00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:11,644 [phone ringing, buzzing] -Oh. Quiet, everybody, please. 200 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,229 Quiet, please! 201 00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:14,856 Sorry. 202 00:10:14,889 --> 00:10:17,784 Oh. It--it's work. It's work. 203 00:10:19,394 --> 00:10:20,870 Hey, Martin. 204 00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:23,740 Well, I--you know, I was-- 205 00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:26,326 I was gonna head out of town so-- 206 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,161 No, no, no, no, no, no. Of course. Of course. 207 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,964 I'll just--I'll head into the--into the lab. 208 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,093 No, I've not heard from Les. 209 00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:38,972 Wait, what do you mean you can't get ahold of him? 210 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,925 Yeah. Okay. Bye. 211 00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:43,977 -Does this mean your romantic getaway is canceled? 212 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,264 -Barb, can I be honest? I love your service, 213 00:10:48,298 --> 00:10:50,608 but I don't love the negative energy. 214 00:10:52,927 --> 00:10:54,020 -[groaning] 215 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,321 -Peace offering? 216 00:11:00,602 --> 00:11:03,413 -Take those off. I feel like a specimen. 217 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,791 And come closer. I don't wanna keep yelling. 218 00:11:10,445 --> 00:11:12,539 Jesus. The '96? 219 00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,791 -If there was ever a time. 220 00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:17,085 -I know why you didn't tell me about your work. 221 00:11:17,118 --> 00:11:19,963 -Well, I couldn't. It was top secret. 222 00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:21,881 I signed an ironclad NDA. 223 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,550 -It's bullshit. 224 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,802 You didn't trust me, 225 00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:29,806 which makes me so sad. 226 00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:31,691 Makes me so sad. 227 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,644 And fuck you. 228 00:11:34,677 --> 00:11:37,280 But...yeah. 229 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:44,112 -Well, I didn't exactly hide it from you either. 230 00:11:44,145 --> 00:11:46,239 -What? 231 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:47,790 -Happy birthday, Lindy. 232 00:11:49,817 --> 00:11:52,128 -They are so cute! 233 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,915 Wait. And legible? 234 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,967 -Happy birthday, Lindy. 235 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,254 -They're so cute. 236 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,256 [beep] -Oh, and functional. 237 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:04,807 -Happy birthday, Lindy. 238 00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:08,970 -How cute. 239 00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:09,979 And accurate. 240 00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:15,026 The dent from when I sideswiped the mailbox. 241 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:17,937 Never put it together. 242 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,823 -You also said you didn't wanna know. 243 00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:23,192 [watch beeps] 244 00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:25,028 -Whoa, you're not leaving me. 245 00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:26,696 -Well, I have to go so I can fix you. 246 00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:28,615 -No, no, no. No, Les. 247 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,658 Take me with you. I'm portable. 248 00:12:30,692 --> 00:12:32,368 -You'll be safer here in the dollhouse. 249 00:12:32,402 --> 00:12:33,703 -I, I feel very not safe. 250 00:12:33,736 --> 00:12:35,705 I feel very small 251 00:12:35,738 --> 00:12:37,874 and, like, something bad could happen. 252 00:12:37,907 --> 00:12:39,459 -I won't let something happen. 253 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,002 -Something did. 254 00:12:41,035 --> 00:12:43,463 -Something else beyond the accident, 255 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,798 but I have to go to the lab so I can fix you. 256 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:48,051 -Please, Les, I do not wanna be alone. 257 00:12:48,084 --> 00:12:49,218 Please, I'm scared. 258 00:12:49,252 --> 00:12:50,720 -Well, what if I can show you 259 00:12:50,753 --> 00:12:54,140 that, um, being small isn't scary? 260 00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:55,892 -Oh, God. Les: I've always wondered 261 00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:57,018 what the world would look like 262 00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:58,645 if I were six inches tall. 263 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,229 -Not me. 264 00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:01,856 -I could show you. 265 00:13:01,889 --> 00:13:03,316 -No, I, I don't. 266 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,693 -Aren't you just a little bit curious? 267 00:13:05,727 --> 00:13:09,197 -I will be restored to regular size soon. 268 00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:11,324 -I promise. 269 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,709 Trust me. 270 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,087 -Okay. 271 00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:19,540 This is crazy. 272 00:13:19,574 --> 00:13:21,884 [soft chuckles] Oh, my God. 273 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:29,225 [soft upbeat music playing] 274 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,564 ? La, la, la, la ? 275 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:39,352 ? La, la, la, la ? 276 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:44,023 ? La, la, la, la, ? ? la, la, la, la. ? 277 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:46,693 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 278 00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,494 ? La, la, la, la ? 279 00:13:49,979 --> 00:13:52,081 ? La, la, la, la ? 280 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:57,578 ? La, la, la, la, la, ? ? la, la, la, la ? 281 00:13:57,612 --> 00:14:00,873 -Yeah. I mean, everything is really big. 282 00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:04,969 Ha. Really, really big. 283 00:14:09,123 --> 00:14:11,259 ? Ba, ba, baa ? 284 00:14:11,292 --> 00:14:13,136 [glass shatters] 285 00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:15,354 ? Ba, ba, baa ? 286 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,392 Les: Wow. I can only imagine 287 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,444 how different everything looks, right? 288 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,781 -Do you see this dust ball? 289 00:14:26,182 --> 00:14:28,159 Do you think I could choke on this? 290 00:14:28,976 --> 00:14:31,287 -Oh. Yeah. Put that down. 291 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,158 Hello, Dolores. 292 00:14:35,191 --> 00:14:36,542 Look who it is. 293 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,911 [chirps] -See? She's not that scary. 294 00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,747 -Why is she looking at me like that? 295 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:43,166 [chirps] -Oh. Oh, it's puffing the-- 296 00:14:43,199 --> 00:14:44,292 do you see what it's doing? 297 00:14:44,325 --> 00:14:45,793 Oh, no, no, no! 298 00:14:45,827 --> 00:14:47,420 It's trying to eat me. 299 00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,755 -Okay. -No. This is not... 300 00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:49,964 -Moving on. -...interesting to me. 301 00:14:49,997 --> 00:14:52,091 Can you put me down, please? Put me down. 302 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,426 [toy train honks] 303 00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:55,511 ? Sleigh bells ring ? 304 00:14:55,545 --> 00:14:57,138 ? Are you listening? ? 305 00:14:57,171 --> 00:14:59,015 ? In the lane ? 306 00:14:59,048 --> 00:15:01,350 ? Snow is glistening ? 307 00:15:01,384 --> 00:15:03,436 ? A beautiful sight ? 308 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:06,022 ? We're happy tonight... ? 309 00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:08,858 -Fun, right? We all love a train ride. 310 00:15:08,891 --> 00:15:12,445 -Whoo! Les: Merry Christmas, Lindy. 311 00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:15,990 -Merry Christmas, Lindy! [laughs] 312 00:15:16,023 --> 00:15:19,202 [toy train honking] ? He sings a love song ? 313 00:15:19,235 --> 00:15:20,453 ? As we go along ? 314 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:23,456 Lindy: Merry Christmas. [laughs] 315 00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,041 Merry Christmas. 316 00:15:25,074 --> 00:15:27,794 Merry Christmas, Lindy! 317 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:28,795 Huh? 318 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:29,962 Whoo! 319 00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,672 [laughs] 320 00:15:31,706 --> 00:15:33,841 Merry Christmas to me! 321 00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:36,018 [laughing] 322 00:15:39,213 --> 00:15:42,475 Merry Christmas, Lindy! [sobs] 323 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,560 -Maybe too many times around? 324 00:15:44,594 --> 00:15:46,479 -I wanna get off! [sobs] 325 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,481 I don't like it. 326 00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:51,234 Oh, I'm gonna be sick. Ooh, oh, oh. 327 00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:52,318 [toy train stops] 328 00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:53,870 Oh, God. 329 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,198 Oh. 330 00:15:57,231 --> 00:15:59,200 Oh, my God. 331 00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:00,701 Oh. -Hey. 332 00:16:00,735 --> 00:16:03,246 It's, it's gonna be okay. 333 00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:06,207 I'm so sorry this happened. 334 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,084 I'm so incredibly sorry. 335 00:16:08,117 --> 00:16:11,053 -[sobs] 336 00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:20,805 Water truck ran out of shrinking gas, 337 00:16:20,838 --> 00:16:22,431 so I'm gonna go to the lab to refuel. 338 00:16:22,465 --> 00:16:24,308 -What am I supposed to do with this? 339 00:16:24,342 --> 00:16:26,519 Les: I thought I could crush it up 340 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,938 and you could maybe snort it? I don't know. 341 00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:30,147 -I'm Scarface? 342 00:16:30,181 --> 00:16:33,242 I'll just gnaw on it or something. 343 00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:38,281 -How are you feeling? 344 00:16:38,314 --> 00:16:39,699 -Really? 345 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,418 -I mean... -I know what you mean. 346 00:16:43,361 --> 00:16:44,545 Better. 347 00:16:46,197 --> 00:16:48,174 I did always love this couch. 348 00:16:49,534 --> 00:16:51,010 [groans] 349 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:01,687 [sighs] 350 00:17:02,838 --> 00:17:04,348 -When you're ready. 351 00:17:04,382 --> 00:17:06,901 -Uh, pour away. 352 00:17:10,846 --> 00:17:12,281 Don't be shy. 353 00:17:13,182 --> 00:17:15,534 So, this is my, uh... 354 00:17:17,395 --> 00:17:19,196 tiny little life now? 355 00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:20,990 -Temporary tiny life. 356 00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:23,242 -How long again? Les: A day. 357 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,202 Two at the most. I'm so close. 358 00:17:25,236 --> 00:17:28,381 I'm... -So close. Yeah. Yeah. 359 00:17:32,410 --> 00:17:34,587 Did you microwave this off the floor? 360 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,172 -The floor is clean. 361 00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,424 You're the first person to ever walk on it. 362 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,843 -Six-inch tall Neil-fucking-Armstrong? 363 00:17:40,876 --> 00:17:42,395 Les: Kind of. 364 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:53,064 -Les, you put parmesan in the potatoes. 365 00:17:53,097 --> 00:17:55,658 -Potatoes a la Diane. 366 00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:58,694 -With a twist. 367 00:17:58,728 --> 00:17:59,904 Who? 368 00:17:59,937 --> 00:18:01,030 Lindy's sister: Reese Witherspoon, 369 00:18:01,063 --> 00:18:02,239 from "Legally Blonde." 370 00:18:02,273 --> 00:18:03,532 She's gonna play me in the movie. 371 00:18:03,566 --> 00:18:05,534 -She's gonna play the sister character. 372 00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:08,412 -I still don't know who that is. Walt? 373 00:18:08,446 --> 00:18:11,040 -She's blonde, wears pink, goes to Harvard. 374 00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:12,375 -That's a stretch. 375 00:18:12,408 --> 00:18:14,293 -What? I am blonde. 376 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,462 Les said that we could be twins. 377 00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:18,381 -I'm sure he's just being kind. 378 00:18:18,414 --> 00:18:20,216 -No, no. I think with the right hair and makeup, 379 00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:21,550 you know Hollywood. I mean... 380 00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:23,052 -It's beyond me why they're even adapting 381 00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:24,387 the book into a film. 382 00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:27,264 -Because it's sold a million copies, 383 00:18:27,298 --> 00:18:29,141 because it won the Pulitzer. 384 00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,394 Diane: Hollywood must be out of ideas. 385 00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:33,229 -You're not excited? 386 00:18:33,262 --> 00:18:35,398 Uh, Laura Dern is playing the mother. 387 00:18:35,431 --> 00:18:39,068 -I adore Laura Dern, but I question her judgment. 388 00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:40,486 The book wasn't well-received. 389 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,488 -I repeat, it won the Pulitzer. 390 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:45,449 -The Guardian dubbed it "literary popcorn" and added, 391 00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:47,952 "That does not a Pulitzer make." Their words. 392 00:18:47,985 --> 00:18:51,288 -Which you memorized and repeat constantly. 393 00:18:51,322 --> 00:18:54,917 -I can barely show my face at Wine Club Wednesday 394 00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:57,128 without Carol turning her nose up at me 395 00:18:57,161 --> 00:18:59,338 as if I were the devil incarnate. Walt? 396 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:02,341 -Your mother needs her Wine Club Wednesdays. 397 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,300 -That's not a stretch. 398 00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:06,303 -Mom, it's fiction. 399 00:19:06,337 --> 00:19:08,472 -Carol didn't see a character. 400 00:19:08,506 --> 00:19:12,101 Carol saw me and the me in your book is a monster. 401 00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:14,186 -It's a comedy. It's a dark comedy, 402 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,522 a coming-of-age story 403 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:19,316 about a woman who felt abandoned 404 00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:24,280 and silenced by a monster of a mother character! 405 00:19:24,313 --> 00:19:28,617 -You try being a single mother of two young girls 406 00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:31,454 whose husband walked out one day without a word. 407 00:19:31,487 --> 00:19:33,456 -Walked out or was driven away? 408 00:19:33,489 --> 00:19:34,707 Diane: Jim abandoned me. 409 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,710 -No, he stopped being married to you. 410 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,546 He abandoned me. 411 00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:41,964 Uh, me too. 412 00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:43,799 Diane: And he's still the hero. 413 00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:46,552 I tried my best. Walt? 414 00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:48,554 -If--I don't... -Uh, if I may, uh, Walt? 415 00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:50,806 Diane, have you tried the potatoes? 416 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:55,019 I call them potatoes a la Diane, um, with a twist. 417 00:19:55,052 --> 00:19:56,979 -Is the twist a turn of the knife? 418 00:19:57,012 --> 00:19:59,365 -It's parmesan cheese. Try it. 419 00:20:05,396 --> 00:20:09,158 -It's too rich, but absolutely divine. 420 00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:11,243 -Just like you. -[soft chuckles] 421 00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:12,878 -[mouths] Thank you. 422 00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:16,832 -Walt? Sorry. 423 00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:18,918 -I think we should visit the Arch tomorrow. 424 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,504 -I hear it's dreadful. 425 00:20:21,537 --> 00:20:23,756 -Yes. Yes. 426 00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,716 -No, I don't get the Arch. 427 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,426 It's like a Arch for what? 428 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,061 -It's the gateway to the West. 429 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,265 I think it's great. Lindy: "I can barely 430 00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:36,519 show my face for Wine Club Wednesdays." 431 00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:39,188 -"Hollywood has run out of ideas." 432 00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:42,358 I think Laura Dern is very generous casting, I have to say. 433 00:20:42,391 --> 00:20:43,451 Hello. 434 00:20:46,437 --> 00:20:48,405 [laughs] What's going on? 435 00:20:48,439 --> 00:20:50,449 -Do you wanna have sex? Les: Oh, yes. 436 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,201 Yes, please--will they hear? 437 00:20:52,234 --> 00:20:54,245 -Eh. We'll be quiet. We'll be fine. 438 00:20:54,278 --> 00:20:57,373 -Oh, right. You're set to high volume. 439 00:20:57,406 --> 00:20:58,707 -Mm-mm. Watch. -Honey? 440 00:20:58,741 --> 00:21:00,468 -Watch, watch. Watch, watch. -What? 441 00:21:01,911 --> 00:21:04,421 Okay. But--okay. Got it. -See? 442 00:21:04,455 --> 00:21:06,465 -Come on. Come on. 443 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,601 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 444 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,889 Okay, quiet, quiet, quiet. 445 00:21:13,923 --> 00:21:15,474 -Okay. 446 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,600 Okay. 447 00:21:16,634 --> 00:21:18,894 Thank you... 448 00:21:18,928 --> 00:21:20,604 for defending me... 449 00:21:20,638 --> 00:21:22,648 from my fucking mother. Les: Always. Always. 450 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,316 I'll work the magic, just be quiet. Quiet. 451 00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:26,110 Lindy: Okay. Les: Okay, okay. 452 00:21:26,143 --> 00:21:27,820 Shh, shh, shh. 453 00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:29,572 [Lindy moaning] -Quiet, quiet, quiet. 454 00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:31,073 -Oh, can you put your hands right there? 455 00:21:31,106 --> 00:21:33,075 Les: Okay. 456 00:21:33,108 --> 00:21:34,493 Fuck, fuck. 457 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:37,329 Lindy: Oh, fuck, fuck! -Oh, Jesus! Walt! 458 00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:38,455 Can we help you? 459 00:21:38,489 --> 00:21:41,083 -Obviously this isn't the washroom. 460 00:21:41,116 --> 00:21:42,626 -It's down the hall with the light on. 461 00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:44,628 -The one with the toilet. 462 00:21:44,662 --> 00:21:46,472 Walt: I could see the light. 463 00:21:47,957 --> 00:21:50,184 [Les laughs] 464 00:21:51,293 --> 00:21:53,762 -He's trying to escape. 465 00:21:53,796 --> 00:21:56,307 -[laughs] 466 00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:59,310 -To the Arch. -[laughs] 467 00:21:59,343 --> 00:22:00,486 -Oh, my God. 468 00:22:01,679 --> 00:22:03,606 -Oh, fuck. -Okay, okay. 469 00:22:03,639 --> 00:22:06,483 Um, maybe I can't be quiet. 470 00:22:06,517 --> 00:22:08,277 -I don't think you can. 471 00:22:08,310 --> 00:22:09,862 -[sighs] 472 00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:11,080 Hey. 473 00:22:15,150 --> 00:22:17,536 I'm not really like her though, right? 474 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:19,496 My mother, um, 475 00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:20,956 I'm not like Diane, am I? 476 00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:22,550 -Does that make me Walt? 477 00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:25,502 -Seriously, though. -Seriously? 478 00:22:25,536 --> 00:22:27,555 -Seriously. -Seriously... 479 00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,549 no. Fuck no. 480 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,551 -Because she's... -No. She's unbelievable. 481 00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:34,228 And not in a good way. 482 00:22:36,881 --> 00:22:38,849 It's gonna be okay. 483 00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:40,568 It's only a few days. 484 00:22:44,013 --> 00:22:45,030 -Only a few days. 485 00:22:46,515 --> 00:22:49,535 [dramatic music playing] 486 00:22:51,353 --> 00:22:53,739 -It's only a few days. 487 00:22:53,772 --> 00:22:56,584 [dramatic music playing] 488 00:23:06,201 --> 00:23:08,554 [phone buzzing] 489 00:23:15,586 --> 00:23:18,439 [dramatic music playing] 490 00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:24,653 -Yeah? 491 00:23:25,763 --> 00:23:26,947 What? [whispers] What? 492 00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:28,991 What? 493 00:23:30,267 --> 00:23:31,744 It can't be right. 494 00:23:33,729 --> 00:23:34,738 Okay. I'm coming in. 495 00:23:34,772 --> 00:23:37,625 Now. Uh, now-ish. 496 00:23:41,070 --> 00:23:44,089 [suspenseful music playing] 497 00:23:59,088 --> 00:24:00,773 [Magoo meows] 498 00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:03,692 -Magoo! 499 00:24:06,595 --> 00:24:07,938 Stay. 500 00:24:07,972 --> 00:24:09,648 Stay! 501 00:24:09,682 --> 00:24:12,234 [Magoo purrs] 502 00:24:12,267 --> 00:24:13,452 -No, no, no, no, no, no! 503 00:24:18,107 --> 00:24:19,742 -Magoo! -[snarls] 504 00:24:19,775 --> 00:24:21,794 -Come here. -[snarls] 505 00:24:23,112 --> 00:24:24,788 -[meows] -Ow, fuck. 506 00:24:24,822 --> 00:24:26,665 You fuzzy fucker. 507 00:24:26,699 --> 00:24:29,718 [Magoo meows] 508 00:24:35,124 --> 00:24:36,475 [meows] 509 00:24:38,627 --> 00:24:39,595 -Stop. 510 00:24:39,628 --> 00:24:40,763 -[meows] 511 00:24:40,796 --> 00:24:43,307 -Stop it, you're fine. 512 00:24:43,340 --> 00:24:44,983 Feel bad enough already. 513 00:24:48,846 --> 00:24:50,481 I mean, she's safe, right? 514 00:24:50,514 --> 00:24:51,824 [Magoo meows] 515 00:24:54,309 --> 00:24:55,778 -[sighs] 516 00:24:55,811 --> 00:24:57,871 [sobs] 517 00:25:01,650 --> 00:25:02,668 -Hey! 518 00:25:03,694 --> 00:25:05,003 Hey! 519 00:25:07,156 --> 00:25:08,707 -Yes, Richard? What is it? 520 00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:10,876 -Oh. You seem upset. 521 00:25:10,909 --> 00:25:12,761 -No, Richard. I'm fine, I'm fine. 522 00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:16,298 -You know, I sometimes come to my car to cry too 523 00:25:16,331 --> 00:25:19,718 when I need a release, so I get where you're at. 524 00:25:19,752 --> 00:25:22,137 -Okay. Right. Is that all? 525 00:25:22,171 --> 00:25:23,555 -Now you've got me worried. 526 00:25:23,589 --> 00:25:24,723 Is everything all right at home? 527 00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:26,558 You know, with, uh, your wife, Lindy? 528 00:25:26,592 --> 00:25:28,811 Lindy is her name, right? -Uh, yes, Richard, she's fine. 529 00:25:28,844 --> 00:25:30,813 -Good, good. -Yeah. 530 00:25:30,846 --> 00:25:34,066 -She's just, uh, keepin' busy over the holidays... 531 00:25:34,099 --> 00:25:36,151 -Yes, Richard, she's at home writing. 532 00:25:36,185 --> 00:25:38,737 She's keeping busy. -She's writing? 533 00:25:38,771 --> 00:25:40,489 -Yup. -Write--that's wonderful. 534 00:25:40,522 --> 00:25:42,241 That's wonderful. Martin: Richard! 535 00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,076 Get your butt inside! 536 00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,994 I'm sorry to use profanity. 537 00:25:46,028 --> 00:25:47,755 I'm upset. 538 00:25:49,948 --> 00:25:51,216 -I'll see you later. 539 00:26:01,752 --> 00:26:02,770 -Les? 540 00:26:03,754 --> 00:26:04,888 Les? 541 00:26:04,922 --> 00:26:06,899 [gasps] 542 00:26:09,885 --> 00:26:11,612 That is a toy. 543 00:26:16,975 --> 00:26:18,452 He left me? 544 00:26:19,436 --> 00:26:20,913 Right, right. 545 00:26:21,772 --> 00:26:23,782 [exhales] 546 00:26:23,816 --> 00:26:26,618 Right. I have to trust him. 547 00:26:26,652 --> 00:26:28,253 I cannot spiral. 548 00:26:30,072 --> 00:26:32,291 Huh? Oh. 549 00:26:32,324 --> 00:26:33,792 Yeah. 550 00:26:33,826 --> 00:26:35,627 Why not? 551 00:26:35,661 --> 00:26:39,298 Okay, that's good, Space Colon. 552 00:26:39,331 --> 00:26:40,474 Colon? 553 00:26:41,416 --> 00:26:42,434 Colonel. 554 00:26:43,585 --> 00:26:46,104 Colonel. Space Colonel. 555 00:26:46,922 --> 00:26:48,807 Next stop, Ur-anus. 556 00:26:48,841 --> 00:26:52,561 I could--fuck, I'm already spiraling. 557 00:26:52,594 --> 00:26:55,439 -You made me believe you were so close, 558 00:26:55,472 --> 00:26:56,899 so I believed you. Les: Yes. 559 00:26:56,932 --> 00:26:58,734 And you should believe me, that's our deal. 560 00:26:58,767 --> 00:27:01,904 There is mathematical truth in stating I am so close. 561 00:27:01,937 --> 00:27:06,783 -So what does "so close" mean to you in this context today? 562 00:27:06,817 --> 00:27:09,995 -My God, I can't put an actual number on it, 563 00:27:10,028 --> 00:27:11,914 I don't know. 564 00:27:11,947 --> 00:27:13,999 What? -Oh. 565 00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:15,125 What have you done? 566 00:27:15,159 --> 00:27:16,585 -What have I done? 567 00:27:16,618 --> 00:27:18,837 Martin, I don't wanna say you have one job. 568 00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:21,798 -Contract is for 30 days. 569 00:27:21,832 --> 00:27:23,809 -That's insane! -Well, you said... 570 00:27:24,076 --> 00:27:25,469 Les: What? -...that you were close! 571 00:27:25,502 --> 00:27:26,979 -Thirty days? 572 00:27:28,130 --> 00:27:30,849 Well, it will work, I mean, 573 00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:33,143 the math says it will, and math is never wrong. 574 00:27:33,177 --> 00:27:34,978 So... -Now you have 30 days. 575 00:27:35,012 --> 00:27:36,855 -No, no, no. We have 30 days. 576 00:27:36,889 --> 00:27:39,107 -Oh, now it's "we"? Les: What does it say exactly? 577 00:27:39,141 --> 00:27:41,026 What does the--what does the small print say exactly? 578 00:27:41,059 --> 00:27:43,820 -It says that we have 30 days 579 00:27:43,854 --> 00:27:46,657 to prove that the restoration formula works... 580 00:27:46,690 --> 00:27:49,368 -Uh-huh. -...or the patent on our tech... 581 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:50,827 -On my tech, thank you. 582 00:27:50,861 --> 00:27:52,621 -...reverts to Hilton... Les: Uh-huh. 583 00:27:52,654 --> 00:27:55,958 -...and Hilton sues you... -Sues us. 584 00:27:55,991 --> 00:27:57,459 -...for fraud. 585 00:27:57,492 --> 00:27:58,710 And you go to jail. 586 00:27:58,744 --> 00:28:00,128 -To jail? 587 00:28:00,162 --> 00:28:01,630 Well, can he do that? 588 00:28:01,663 --> 00:28:02,798 -He can. 589 00:28:02,831 --> 00:28:04,675 And after 30 days, it goes, 590 00:28:04,708 --> 00:28:07,728 the tech, the lab, the Bobs, gone. 591 00:28:09,046 --> 00:28:10,722 -But... 592 00:28:10,756 --> 00:28:13,358 Okay. So how do I make, uh... 593 00:28:14,343 --> 00:28:15,694 how do I... 594 00:28:16,762 --> 00:28:18,021 how do I make things big again? 595 00:28:18,055 --> 00:28:20,232 Because I have to make things big again. 596 00:28:20,265 --> 00:28:23,535 -Well, after 30 days, you can't. 597 00:28:25,729 --> 00:28:28,198 -What did it actually say? 598 00:28:28,232 --> 00:28:29,992 I mean, can he actually do this? 599 00:28:30,025 --> 00:28:31,868 Hilton? -Yes, he can. 600 00:28:31,902 --> 00:28:34,037 It says it right here. 601 00:28:34,071 --> 00:28:35,247 -Oh. 602 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,924 -Les... 603 00:28:38,909 --> 00:28:40,385 how bad is this? 604 00:28:42,371 --> 00:28:43,722 Oh, God. 605 00:28:47,292 --> 00:28:49,344 I'm not even gonna ask about the cat. 606 00:28:49,378 --> 00:28:52,940 [playful music playing] 607 00:28:53,924 --> 00:28:55,851 [Magoo meows] 608 00:28:55,884 --> 00:28:58,904 [playful music playing] 609 00:29:01,556 --> 00:29:04,276 [Richard humming] 610 00:29:04,309 --> 00:29:05,494 -Um... 611 00:29:07,396 --> 00:29:08,864 uh, hi. 612 00:29:08,897 --> 00:29:11,116 I got you something for Christmas. 613 00:29:11,149 --> 00:29:14,453 -Oh. I didn't get you anything. 614 00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:16,872 -Oh, it's okay. 615 00:29:16,905 --> 00:29:18,924 -Oh, that is... You... 616 00:29:20,117 --> 00:29:22,377 -Like what Shakespeare used to write with. 617 00:29:22,411 --> 00:29:24,046 -You know I like Shakespeare? 618 00:29:24,079 --> 00:29:26,798 -Well, everybody knows you like Shakespeare. 619 00:29:26,832 --> 00:29:28,133 Bard's Guard. 620 00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:29,935 Well, you talk about it a lot. 621 00:29:30,919 --> 00:29:32,262 Um... 622 00:29:32,296 --> 00:29:34,473 you seem a little bit down. 623 00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:38,226 -No, I'm, uh, just tired. Yeah. 624 00:29:38,260 --> 00:29:41,938 I was waiting up last night for someone. 625 00:29:41,972 --> 00:29:47,569 Someone special, you know, and it's just, you know. 626 00:29:47,602 --> 00:29:49,237 -Well, merry--merry Christmas, Richard. 627 00:29:49,271 --> 00:29:50,947 -Yeah. Thank you, Janet. 628 00:29:50,981 --> 00:29:54,042 This is a very thoughtful gift, so thank you. 629 00:29:58,613 --> 00:30:01,958 Thy returneth to thine grind. 630 00:30:01,992 --> 00:30:05,053 [dramatic music playing] 631 00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:14,262 -Okay, buddy. 632 00:30:14,296 --> 00:30:16,139 "Aim remote here." 633 00:30:16,173 --> 00:30:18,984 [dramatic music playing] 634 00:30:24,014 --> 00:30:24,990 -Oh. 635 00:30:26,975 --> 00:30:28,577 Right. Okay. 636 00:30:30,228 --> 00:30:32,447 All is good. 637 00:30:32,481 --> 00:30:33,498 Okay. 638 00:30:38,820 --> 00:30:40,088 Come on. 639 00:30:43,367 --> 00:30:45,001 Okay. 640 00:30:45,035 --> 00:30:46,720 Oh, my God. 641 00:30:50,665 --> 00:30:52,100 Ah, there we go. 642 00:30:54,086 --> 00:30:55,520 Guide. 643 00:30:58,924 --> 00:31:01,810 Oh. A classic. 644 00:31:01,843 --> 00:31:02,894 Come on! 645 00:31:02,928 --> 00:31:06,481 [dramatic music playing] 646 00:31:06,515 --> 00:31:08,033 -Volume. 647 00:31:10,352 --> 00:31:12,821 We're never turning this off. 648 00:31:12,854 --> 00:31:15,365 Okay, snacks. 649 00:31:15,399 --> 00:31:16,875 So... 650 00:31:18,235 --> 00:31:19,711 we got popcorn, 651 00:31:20,695 --> 00:31:22,464 but no candy. 652 00:31:25,033 --> 00:31:27,502 Oh. Les. 653 00:31:27,536 --> 00:31:28,762 That's just for me. 654 00:31:37,129 --> 00:31:39,514 -Richard, I need everyone at the top of their game today. 655 00:31:39,548 --> 00:31:41,558 It's a big day. Could be the day. 656 00:31:41,591 --> 00:31:44,561 Needs to be the day or two... 657 00:31:44,594 --> 00:31:45,904 at the most. 658 00:31:50,559 --> 00:31:51,777 Here are my thoughts. 659 00:31:51,810 --> 00:31:54,788 [playful jazz music playing] 660 00:31:55,155 --> 00:31:56,832 -Adjust the last line on the Maxwell stress tensor 661 00:31:57,099 --> 00:31:58,950 to B sub J. 662 00:31:58,984 --> 00:32:01,753 Minus one half times the quantity of epsilon naught 663 00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:05,006 times E squared plus B squared over mu naught. 664 00:32:07,075 --> 00:32:08,043 Thoughts complete. 665 00:32:08,076 --> 00:32:10,962 -Bobs, implement his thoughts. 666 00:32:10,996 --> 00:32:13,765 [playful jazz music playing] 667 00:32:16,751 --> 00:32:19,137 -B sub J minus one half, 668 00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:21,807 times the quantity of epsilon naught 669 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,811 times E squared, plus B squared over mu naught. 670 00:32:25,844 --> 00:32:27,395 Complete. 671 00:32:27,429 --> 00:32:29,231 -Carl, implement his thoughts. 672 00:32:29,264 --> 00:32:32,325 [playful jazz music playing] 673 00:32:56,291 --> 00:32:57,893 -Complete. 674 00:33:12,390 --> 00:33:14,025 -Let's make history. 675 00:33:14,059 --> 00:33:17,037 [applause] 676 00:33:27,155 --> 00:33:30,050 [sizzles] 677 00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:36,348 [drum solo playing] 678 00:33:43,255 --> 00:33:46,274 [playful jazz music resumes] 679 00:33:50,845 --> 00:33:51,863 [explodes] 680 00:33:57,060 --> 00:34:00,038 [dramatic music playing] 681 00:34:02,190 --> 00:34:05,035 -A great attempt in the name of science. 682 00:34:05,068 --> 00:34:06,369 Richard? 683 00:34:06,403 --> 00:34:08,705 -Bob the Explainer? 684 00:34:08,738 --> 00:34:10,248 -Nominal success. 685 00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:13,877 Subject expanded to regular size for 2.1 seconds, 686 00:34:13,910 --> 00:34:15,503 same as previous attempt. 687 00:34:15,537 --> 00:34:19,174 Result, molecular disequilibrium. 688 00:34:19,207 --> 00:34:20,842 Oh, Eraser Bob, see medic. 689 00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:24,262 Bring in Fred. Clean up on aisle...everywhere. 690 00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:25,163 -Richard? 691 00:34:25,196 --> 00:34:27,933 -We're waiting on analysis to proceed. 692 00:34:27,966 --> 00:34:30,185 We'll adjust based on your thoughts. 693 00:34:30,218 --> 00:34:31,728 We'll go again. 694 00:34:31,761 --> 00:34:33,271 Vivienne: No, you won't. 695 00:34:33,305 --> 00:34:35,190 If this is your definition of close, 696 00:34:35,223 --> 00:34:37,067 we have a big problem. 697 00:34:37,100 --> 00:34:39,527 You working in a bubble with your staff 698 00:34:39,561 --> 00:34:41,863 and your secrets ends today. 699 00:34:41,896 --> 00:34:43,698 Moving forward, everything that happens 700 00:34:43,732 --> 00:34:46,534 in this lab will be authorized by me. 701 00:34:46,568 --> 00:34:49,245 -No. No, no, no. No. 702 00:34:49,279 --> 00:34:52,540 Um, this is not how we work here. 703 00:34:52,574 --> 00:34:55,251 We are making history, okay? 704 00:34:55,285 --> 00:34:58,922 That corn was regular size, it's incredible. 705 00:34:58,955 --> 00:35:01,132 As a scientist, how can you not see that? 706 00:35:01,166 --> 00:35:03,218 -Reports, equipment, results. 707 00:35:03,251 --> 00:35:05,887 Any spending whatsoever, everything you use, 708 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,098 must be logged, up to and including packets 709 00:35:08,131 --> 00:35:10,266 of instant oatmeal in the breakroom. 710 00:35:10,300 --> 00:35:12,227 -Can I explain my fiber deficiency? 711 00:35:12,260 --> 00:35:13,728 -Okay, everybody, everybody. 712 00:35:13,762 --> 00:35:15,271 -This is Virginia. -Vivienne. 713 00:35:15,305 --> 00:35:17,232 -Vivienne, I don't know her last name, 714 00:35:17,265 --> 00:35:18,066 but she's new here 715 00:35:18,099 --> 00:35:20,110 and she doesn't know how things work. 716 00:35:20,143 --> 00:35:21,778 And, Bob, you don't need to worry about your oatmeal. 717 00:35:21,811 --> 00:35:25,323 Okay? -Can we just talk about this? 718 00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:27,409 -Martin, you know exactly how much money 719 00:35:27,442 --> 00:35:30,328 this science circus is hemorrhaging. 720 00:35:30,362 --> 00:35:31,997 -I don't care about the money. Vivienne: Of course you don't. 721 00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:33,456 You spent seven years 722 00:35:33,490 --> 00:35:36,334 and several hundred thousand dollars 723 00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:38,461 designing your logo. 724 00:35:38,495 --> 00:35:40,922 -I had to open the books. -Well, it had to be perfect. 725 00:35:40,955 --> 00:35:42,257 What? Vivienne: Irresponsible. 726 00:35:42,290 --> 00:35:44,175 And deeply sad. 727 00:35:44,209 --> 00:35:46,177 Dr. Littlejohn, it's no longer your money. 728 00:35:46,211 --> 00:35:47,971 It's Hilton Smith's money. 729 00:35:48,004 --> 00:35:51,099 This is his lab now and I run Hilton's lab, 730 00:35:51,132 --> 00:35:52,767 ergo, I run this lab. 731 00:35:52,801 --> 00:35:54,269 -This is unacceptable! 732 00:35:54,302 --> 00:35:55,687 And it's ridiculous! 733 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,197 And do--do something! 734 00:35:58,848 --> 00:36:01,609 Okay. No we, no we, just me. 735 00:36:01,643 --> 00:36:03,945 I wanna talk to Hilton right now! 736 00:36:03,978 --> 00:36:06,614 -Well, good luck reaching him. 737 00:36:06,648 --> 00:36:08,366 He's spending the holidays piloting 738 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,202 an experimental submersible off the coast of Guam. 739 00:36:11,236 --> 00:36:12,704 -Guam? 740 00:36:12,737 --> 00:36:15,707 Guam? What? -Shut it down. 741 00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:18,343 We'll try again tomorrow...together. 742 00:36:19,536 --> 00:36:21,713 These ladders are an OSHA violation. 743 00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:23,765 -You're an OSHA violation! 744 00:36:25,333 --> 00:36:27,802 -Dear hairy Jesus! 745 00:36:27,836 --> 00:36:29,471 -And I hope Hilton gets crushed into ketchup 746 00:36:29,504 --> 00:36:32,390 by 400 atmospheres of pressure. 747 00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:34,809 -Twenty-nine days. -Not helpful. 748 00:36:34,843 --> 00:36:36,861 -Not the point! 749 00:36:37,887 --> 00:36:40,907 [dramatic music playing] 750 00:36:44,519 --> 00:36:46,154 -Oh, what have I done? 751 00:36:46,187 --> 00:36:48,206 [dramatic music playing] 752 00:36:52,861 --> 00:36:57,632 ? Midnight with the stars ? ? and you ? 753 00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:04,264 ? Midnight and a rendezvous ? 754 00:37:06,082 --> 00:37:11,721 ? Your eyes held ? ? a message tender ? 755 00:37:11,755 --> 00:37:14,349 ? Saying, "I surrender ? ? all my love to you" ? 756 00:37:14,382 --> 00:37:17,185 [phone ringing] 757 00:37:17,218 --> 00:37:18,353 -It's my phone. 758 00:37:18,386 --> 00:37:19,938 [phone ringing] 759 00:37:19,971 --> 00:37:22,574 -Oh, my phone! Oh, oh. 760 00:37:23,725 --> 00:37:25,068 [phone ringing] 761 00:37:25,101 --> 00:37:27,195 -Coming, coming, coming! 762 00:37:27,228 --> 00:37:28,580 What? 763 00:37:28,847 --> 00:37:31,958 [phone ringing] 764 00:37:40,116 --> 00:37:41,876 -No! 765 00:37:41,910 --> 00:37:43,970 No! [groans] 766 00:37:45,288 --> 00:37:46,306 No! 767 00:37:47,248 --> 00:37:48,308 [grumbles] 768 00:37:49,918 --> 00:37:51,269 No! 769 00:38:00,470 --> 00:38:02,697 Fuck, did you just say something? 770 00:38:09,270 --> 00:38:11,122 Am I losing my mind? 771 00:38:17,153 --> 00:38:20,298 I can see me in you? 772 00:38:22,158 --> 00:38:23,751 [fly buzzing] 773 00:38:23,785 --> 00:38:25,336 -Do you hear that? 774 00:38:25,370 --> 00:38:27,755 What? Uh, what is that? 775 00:38:27,789 --> 00:38:30,592 [buzzing] 776 00:38:30,625 --> 00:38:32,135 -Oh, fuck. 777 00:38:32,168 --> 00:38:34,062 [fly buzzing] -[screams] 778 00:38:36,297 --> 00:38:38,149 I gotta get outta here! 779 00:38:43,054 --> 00:38:44,606 What the--ow! 780 00:38:44,639 --> 00:38:46,658 Fuck! [screams] 781 00:38:51,646 --> 00:38:53,198 Jesus. 782 00:38:53,231 --> 00:38:55,750 Fuck! Goddamnit, Les! 783 00:38:58,069 --> 00:38:59,204 For fuck's sake. 784 00:38:59,237 --> 00:39:02,090 [phone ringing] [yelping] 785 00:39:03,366 --> 00:39:05,009 -God dang it! 786 00:39:08,246 --> 00:39:11,224 [phone ringing] 787 00:39:13,376 --> 00:39:16,271 [screaming and grunting] 788 00:39:29,684 --> 00:39:31,911 [grunting] 789 00:39:40,904 --> 00:39:43,581 [wind whooshing] 790 00:39:43,615 --> 00:39:45,541 [groans] 791 00:39:45,575 --> 00:39:47,594 [fly buzzing] 792 00:39:48,786 --> 00:39:50,888 -[screams] 793 00:39:51,748 --> 00:39:52,890 [yelping] 794 00:40:01,424 --> 00:40:02,609 [grunts] 795 00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:07,238 [screams] 796 00:40:10,558 --> 00:40:11,859 [phone ringing] -[screams] 797 00:40:11,893 --> 00:40:14,245 Help! Help! 798 00:40:15,730 --> 00:40:17,699 [ringing] 799 00:40:17,732 --> 00:40:19,242 -Help, help. 800 00:40:19,275 --> 00:40:20,335 [chime plays] 801 00:40:21,402 --> 00:40:22,245 What the... 802 00:40:22,278 --> 00:40:24,297 [machine whirring] 803 00:40:25,073 --> 00:40:26,291 [ominous music playing] 804 00:40:26,324 --> 00:40:28,042 -Oh, God. Oh, God. 805 00:40:28,076 --> 00:40:29,677 Oh, oh. 806 00:40:31,412 --> 00:40:33,589 [machine whirring] 807 00:40:33,623 --> 00:40:37,468 [door opens and closes] [keys jingling] 808 00:40:37,502 --> 00:40:40,722 Les: Lindy, hold on! I'll save you! 809 00:40:40,755 --> 00:40:42,857 [Lindy screams] 810 00:40:44,425 --> 00:40:47,445 ["The Things We Do For Love" by 10cc playing] 811 00:40:55,186 --> 00:40:59,657 ? Too many broken hearts ? ? Have fallen in the river ? 812 00:40:59,691 --> 00:41:04,162 ? Too many lonely souls ? ? Have drifted out to sea ? 813 00:41:04,195 --> 00:41:05,913 ? You lay your bets ? 814 00:41:05,947 --> 00:41:07,290 ? And then ? ? You pay the price ? 815 00:41:07,323 --> 00:41:09,292 ? The things we do for love ? 816 00:41:09,325 --> 00:41:11,636 ? The things we do for love ? 817 00:41:13,371 --> 00:41:16,090 ? Communication ? ? Is the problem ? 818 00:41:16,124 --> 00:41:18,092 ? To the answer ? 819 00:41:18,126 --> 00:41:20,303 ? You've got her number ? ? And your hand ? 820 00:41:20,336 --> 00:41:22,472 ? Is on the phone ? 821 00:41:22,505 --> 00:41:24,474 ? The weather's turned ? 822 00:41:24,507 --> 00:41:25,600 ? And all the lines ? ? Are down ? 823 00:41:25,633 --> 00:41:27,685 ? The things we do for love ? 824 00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:29,937 ? The things we do for love ? 825 00:41:29,971 --> 00:41:33,107 ? Like walkin' ? ? In the rain and the snow ? 826 00:41:33,141 --> 00:41:35,443 ? When there's nowhere ? ? To go ? 827 00:41:35,476 --> 00:41:40,114 ? And you're feelin' like ? ? A part of you is dyin' ? 828 00:41:40,148 --> 00:41:42,158 ? And you're lookin' ? ? For the answer ? 829 00:41:42,191 --> 00:41:43,668 ? In her eyes ? 830 00:41:44,736 --> 00:41:46,871 ? You think ? ? You're gonna break up ? 831 00:41:46,904 --> 00:41:50,541 ? Then she says ? ? She wants to make up ? 832 00:41:50,575 --> 00:41:53,845 ? Ooh, you had me crawlin' ? 833 00:41:54,829 --> 00:41:57,507 ? Up the wall ? 834 00:41:57,540 --> 00:42:00,268 ? Ooh ? 835 00:42:00,318 --> 00:42:04,868 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 54508

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