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[man over mic] Ladies and gentlemen,

the one, the only,

Kountry Wayne!

[playing "Preach" by Young Dolph]

Atlanta, Georgia, where you at?!

[cheering]

♪I don't fuck with these niggas 'Cause they shady♪

♪These bitches They just wanna have my baby♪

-♪Born in the '80s♪ -[all] ♪Crack baby♪

♪Mama, she was in the streets So guess who raised me?♪

♪The streets, nigga♪

♪You motherfuckin' right Couldn't get it from my mama, so I…♪

♪Got it off the block♪

♪Been workin' my whole life And I ain't never punched a clock♪

♪Nine years old I seen a nigga get shot♪

Preach!

♪I ain′t got shit for a nigga♪

♪Ain't nothing In this muthafuckin′ world free♪

Preach!

♪Zay got the muthafuckin' bass thumpin'♪

Zay!

♪Dolph got the muthafuckin′ trap jumpin'♪

Atlanta!

[cheers]

We here.

Yeah, so…

We in Atlanta, Georgia.

[audience cheers]

Yo, yo, so, you already know

if you from here, you stay here.

Y'all already know if you go outside, your window will be bust.

[audience laughs]

Glass will be on the ground.

But Atlanta, Georgia, if it weren't for y'all, I wouldn't be where I'm at, man.

Give y'all self a hand right now, please.

[audience cheers]

Haha!

It feel good to be here

'cause you know, ever since I came to Atlanta,

it feel like home.

I go out after, after party. I don't do that everywhere.

We had a show in Chicago, and my cousin from Chicago

before I went on stage, he was like, "Hey, Wayne,

I got a after party booked for you after the show.

I said, "No, you don't.

[audience laughs]

He was like, "Why?"

I said, "Man, y'all got a reputation.

Y'all got them guns. Bang-a-bang-a-bang-a-bang."

He got mad. Told me, "Y'all got a reputation in Atlanta."

I said, "What? He told me, "jang-a-lang, jang-a-lang."

[audience laughs]

[Wayne chuckles]

Hey, hey, hey, I ain't gonna lie,

Atlanta gay is different.

[audience chuckles]

Everywhere else, you see a gay man, you know they gay.

You can tell.

Atlanta, you don't know.

[audience laughs]

There's a lot of undercover gay men.

They said, one out of every five men in Atlanta

is undercover gay.

Yeah, and me and my three brothers

and my barber was walkin' one day…

[audience laughs]

I said, "Who is it?

'Cause it sure ain't me."

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

[laughs]

And no, I ain't homophobic. I don't want nobody here

saying Kountry Wayne is homophobic, he don't like gay people.

No, I ain't got nothin' against gay people.

You gay, that's your business.

I ain't got nothin' against gay people.

I got a friend that's gay, man. A friend of the family.

[audience laughs]

Yeah. Yeah, Kevin been gay.

Grew up with Kevin, went to school with Kevin.

Me and my sister went to school with Kevin.

I took off with him one day in middle school.

Yeah, 'cause they all tried to jump him.

You know, I'm 37. When you were gay back then, they bully you.

They tried to jump Kevin. I said, "Hey, y'all leave Kevin alone.

This is the life he want to live, let him live it."

And they left Kevin alone. But Kevin made me mad

'cause he went in the corner,

and he had this look on his face, like…

[audience laughs]

My sister was like, "Kevin, what's wrong with you?"

He was like, "Wayne just don't play by me."

[screams]

I ain't took her for nobody since.

I learned to mind my own business.

[laughs]

Yeah. [chuckles]

That's right, I talk about my family on stage, man.

My grandma gets mad 'cause she feel like I'm making money off the family.

"You making money off of us."

But I take care of my family, I feel like I should be able to talk about 'em.

You know what I'm sayin'? Yeah.

My grandma…

I'm gonna tell y'all right now, my grandma is my biggest hater.

I swear to God.

My grandma, she wants something to happen to me

'cause she feels like I don't get my karma in life.

She feel like… You… Something's gotta happen to you.

Like, she feel like… She knows I got all those baby mamas.

She wants something to happen to me so I can feel some pain.

She looked me in my face one day and told me to my face,

she said, "I pray every night

that your baby mamas get every dollar you got."

[audience laughs]

I said, "Grandma, I take care of you."

"I pray you have enough left for me and that's it."

[chuckles]

She get mad 'cause I be tellin' my grandma she be wastin' her money.

Like, we get new money, I ain't gonna lie I spoil her.

But she be wastin'. I said, "Grandma, come on now."

My grandma spends all her money on Michael Kors purses.

I went in her room, she's got every color Michael Kors purse sitting on her dresser.

I said, "Grandma, now you know you don't need all them Michael Kors purses."

She looked down and said, "Michael Kors purses?

I thought they were Martin Luther King purses."

Hey, get this lady outta here, man.

Ah!

Yo, man, I feel good. I ain't gonna lie, when I come here,

I see y'all, when I talk about my grandma and my mothers, man,

If you're a mother here, let me here you say "Ay!"

[audience] Ay!

If you're a mother, y'all are the most important people on this Earth.

Give y'all self a hand right now, please.

Ain't nothin' like a mama.

I love a mother. I love all five and a half of my baby mamas.

You ain't seen half of 'em, and you don't want to see her.

But I love my baby mamas, 'cause let's be real, man,

People think I'm crazy 'cause I say, I take care of my baby mamas.

They got a man in the house, I still pay their bills.

They think I'm stupid. But I ain't stupid,

'cause you know why I do it?

'Cause I don't want to keep them kids.

Man, to all the baby daddy's out there, I done figured out the secret.

Get your baby mama their money. You know you don't want to keep them kids.

My baby mama tried to threaten me one time.

Told me, "I'm gonna take you to court to get full custody."

I was like, "Ooh…"

Oh, my God, more time for me. I don't care!

Man, I don't want to keep them kids, for real.

My baby mama's at home right now watchin' the same TikTok dance.

I'm on this stage shootin' an Amazon special.

My life is good!

[audience cheers]

Mamas' got a hard job.

And they keep these kids today.

These kids today are the hardest kids in the world.

I'm gonna say somethin' about these kids today

that all y'all scared to say.

My kids and y'all kids.

They all slow. Let's be real.

[audience laughs]

You ever look at some of your kids and were like, "You ain't gonna make it"?

I don't care how hard you try in life, you ain't gonna make it.

I must have messed with your mama by the microwave.

You're a radiation baby.

These children are slow, man. Y'all know these children slow.

God know these children slow.

That's why He send 'em AI.

We ain't have no AI.

Only AI we knew was Allen Iverson.

Man, these children slow, man.

They can't spell!

They got Siri for everything.

They type one letter and the whole word pops up.

We didn't have that. We had to learn.

You know how long it took us in elementary school

to learn that "phone" was spelled with a P?

[audience laughs]

These children slow, man.

Think about how much more creative we was then than our kids.

Think about it. If we didn't have no trash bag in the bathroom,

what we did? Get a grocery bag, figure it out.

I know my kids' are slow.

I told my daughters to clean up the kitchen, these teenage girls.

I said, "We about to shoot some skits over here,

I need y'all to clean up the kitchen."

You know what she told me? She said, "Daddy, we can't sweep

because we can't find the dustpan."

Girl, create a dustpan.

Get a piece of mail, a envelope, a book cover, a soup box top.

Figure it out.

She talkin', "Siri, how do you create--"

Give me that goddamn phone, girl!

Use your head. What's wrong with you?

They slow.

And they're wasteful.

We weren't wasteful growin' up.

We gave stuff second chances before we threw it away.

If our batteries went dead, what we did?

Put 'em in the freezer, see if God could do this one more time.

I seen my daughter doin' something

that my mama woulda knocked my head clean off my body for.

I seen my daughter throwin' away a bottle of lotion

that wasn't ready to be thrown away.

I said, "Hey, Malia, whatcha doin'?"

She said, "Daddy, it's empty."

I said, "Girl, twist that pump off that lotion

and take your hand and…

Get a knife and cut it in the middle.

Girl, put the rest of that in a Ziplock bag."

They slow, man. They ain't creative.

And to all the mamas out there, don't let these children make you forget

how smart and creative you are.

'Cause you hang around these slow kids, y'all get slow.

[audience laughs]

My daughter Kyoma, she done turned her mama slow.

Kyoma three years old. She likes to take bubble baths.

She ain't got no bubble bath, she don't want to get in the tub.

She ain't have no bubble bath one night, her mama called me in a panic.

"Wayne, can you please go to the store to get more bubble bath?

She don't wanna get in the tub." I said, "What?!"

I said, "Girl, you go in that kitchen and get some dish detergent…

run that water hot, take that bottle and…

and take your hand and…

Girl, you got enough bubbles for tomorrow."

[audience laughs]

[chuckles]

And be careful what you name your children too,

'cause you don't know if they gonna add up to their name.

Some of y'all be namin' y'all children "Heaven."

Ha!

[audience laughs]

I messed up. I got a daughter named "Honest,"

but she's the biggest liar in America.

[audience laughs]

Honest's seven years old, but when she was six, her tooth fell out.

So, her mama put the money under the pillow

while Honest was in the tub, like the tooth fairy.

Honest woke up the next morning, told me and her mama,

"I seen the tooth fairy come in my room

and give me the money last night.

I said, "You ain't seen no tooth fairy."

She said, "I swear to God on you."

I said, "Girl, don't swear to God on me." I said, "How'd the tooth fairy look?"

She told me, "Like a tooth."

[audience laughs]

Man, get this girl outta here, man.

But I love my kids though, man.

If you love your kids, let me here you say, "Ay!"

[audience] Ay!

That's right. And if you love your kids

and you want them to be successful when they grow up,

keep it real with 'em when they're young.

Pray it out. If you see somethin' you don't like in 'em,

if you pray it out, it'll leave.

But if you ignore it, it's gonna grow in 'em like cancer.

But some of y'all scared to see y'all kids. Why? 'Cause that's y'all baby.

But guess what? There's a lot of people in prison.

And guess what? That was somebody's baby.

See, I call it out in my children. I keep it real.

I see somethin' I don't like, I pray it out of my babies.

I got a daughter named Christiana, but she ain't no Christian.

[audience laughs]

Christiana, she's a teenager now. She's fast, she likes them boys.

Yeah. I ain't sayin' she's a ho, but…

[audience laughs]

If she ain't a ho, she's a hammer or somethin'.

And I know I ain't the only one with no hammers in here.

If you gotta hammer in your house, let me hear you say, "Ay!"

[audience] Ay!

Our babies gonna be blessed. The rest of y'all who lyin'…

hos!

[audience laughs]

Keep it real, man.

See somethin' in your children you don't like,

pray it out early.

My oldest son Tony, what I don't like about him is he's too sensitive.

He gets mad. He let words bother him.

I said, "Tony, you can't grow up lettin' words bother you."

He got mad at a joke I said on my last special.

He got mad. The joke wasn't that bad to me, but it was true.

[audience laughs]

The only thing I said, when I found out his mama was pregnant with him,

I put a hit out on him.

[audience laughs]

I said I gave his mama abortion money not to have him

and she still had him.

He was like, "Daddy, I don't like the way that joke made me feel."

I said, "How do you think I felt?

You know, she kept the money!"

[audience laughs]

He was like, "That made me feel like you didn't want me."

I said, "Boy, stop complaining, man.

I coulda pulled out.

At least I gave you a chance."

I said, "If I woulda pulled out, I woulda wrapped you in a rag."

[audience laughs]

That woulda put you in the washing machine.

Then that water go back to the ocean.

You woulda been swimmin' with the fishes, boy.

It wouldn't have been Finding Nemo, it would've been Find Tony.

[audience laughs]

[laughs]

Ah!

I like makin' couples laugh.

I feel like I'm helpin' y'all relationship, man.

How long y'all been together, man?

[man speaks indistinctly]

About three years?

A faithful Black man, brother.

But don't you think they don't think we could be in a faithful relationship?

I'm part of the reason for that, but listen…

[audience laughs]

Brother, a faithful Black man.

There's a woman here now sayin',

that don't mean he's faithful for being together three years.

Brother, I know you're faithful.

And you're gonna prove it to everybody here tonight.

We're gonna get the security, they're gonna unlock your phone.

Let her go through your phone.

[audience laughs]

Yeah, "Alter the plan." Boy, he got scared of that.

[audience laughs]

He got so scared, he asked his girl,

"Hey, baby, you ready to go?

I don't like this joke right here. You ready to go?"

Whoa!

The whole front row got up and left.

Hold up, man, my phone locked up. You can't get my… Wait a minute.

Boy, that cell phone. You ain't goin' through my cell phone.

I swear to God. No, no, buddy.

Man, my ex tried to go through my phone. I told her about a girl I was talkin' to.

I caught her goin' through my phone. I said, "Girl, give me my phone."

She went into the kitchen and took out a knife.

This girl had a knife to my neck.

Said, "If you don't give me the code to your phone,

I swear to God, I'm gonna stab you in the neck."

I said, "Well, you might want to stab me.

'Cause you go through this phone, you're gonna want to shoot me

and your hairstylist."

[audience laughs, groans]

You been hittin' the hairstylist too?

[laughs]

Hey, but fellas, I say this though, I say this every show, man,

if you're gonna cheat, start gettin' mad when she cheat back.

Get out your feelings, 'cause she's gonna do it.

And it ain't gonna be with no guy from the NBA team

or nothin' like that, no!

It's gonna be with that dude that works at Popeye's.

And he's gonna beat that coochie like some flour.

You think you're gonna get your girl's coochie

better than that bro do from Popeye's? Are you stupid?

You think you can lick your girl's titties

better than that bro do from Popeye's? Are you stupid?

When that bro from Popeye's gets your girl's titty,

he squeezes.

[audience laughs]

Look at all the ladies here. He ain't lyin' about that bro.

That there, she's laughin' as hard as hell.

[chuckles]

But ladies, I want y'all though, y'all right.

I get it, men shouldn't cheat, it hurts.

I'm with y'all.

What I want y'all to start doin' though,

start comparin' us to your granddaddy. I don't like that.

Y'all swear the men back then was so much stronger.

"My granddaddy and grandma been together 50-some years,

he ain't never cheated on my grandma."

Your granddaddy didn't have a cell phone with his location on it either.

Your grandma didn't know where your granddaddy was at.

Your granddaddy was on a horse.

Your granddaddy came in from cheatin' on your grandma on that horse.

Your grandma was like, "Where you was at?"

He tell her anything. "Um, fishin'?"

Yeah, for some coochie.

Stop comparin' us to your granddaddy.

'Cause it's harder for us not to cheat than it was for your granddaddy.

Why? 'Cause we could see every woman in the world on social media at one time.

Your granddaddy only seen the women on his dirt road.

[audience laughs]

So, since it's harder for us not to cheat than it was for your granddaddy,

you're gonna have to do stuff that your grandma didn't do

to help us not cheat.

It might be weird, but you gotta do it.

You gotta do somethin' to make your man think about you all day

while he's away from the house.

It might be weird, but you gotta do it.

Before your man leaves the house,

you might gotta stick your hand in your coochie

and wipe it across the lip like…

[audience laughs]

You're like, "Man, why you did that?"

And you be like, "Uh, so you can smell what you got at home."

And it's gonna work, too.

He's gonna go out there and try to holler at a girl,

"Hey, what's your name?"

And a good wind's gonna come by, whoosh.

You're like, [sniffs] "Mmm.

Yeah, I forgot what I got at home. I'm sorry."

[chuckles]

Now, don't all y'all girls try that, 'cause that could go a whole 'nother way.

[audience laughs]

I can see some of y'all now. "Uh, oh!" [sniffs]

You know what? You can have the house and everything.

What the hell was that? Why is my lip swellin' up?

What you did?

You ate some peanuts? What was that?!

What'd you put on my lip?!

[snickers, laughs]

Ah!

But all that player stuff is gettin' old though, man.

I'm 37 years old now. Time for Kountry Wayne to settle down.

All them baby mamas, all them women tryin' to be the one.

And let's be real, I'm at the age though, where you're 37,

I could talk to girls, you know, late 20s, early 30s,

but now, I could talk to the aunties.

And I've been testin' the aunties out.

And to all y'all young girls, y'all gonna be mad when I tell y'all this,

but the aunties got better coochies than y'all.

[audience laughs]

Yeah.

Yeah. Y'all young girls don't drink enough water.

[audience laughs]

Hell, no. Y'all ain't changin' y'all diets yet.

You down there lickin' on a young girl…

and I taste lemon pepper chicken.

[audience laughs]

Now, I got high blood pressure.

I go down there lickin' on your auntie…

I taste carrot juice.

[audience laughs]

It was healthy to go down on your auntie.

That's right!

All the aunties are takin' all the younger guys.

You know why, ladies?

'Cause they don't do all that talkin' when we come over.

Y'all young girls, mid-20s, early 30s,

we come over there, y'all got a speech every once in awhile.

"You know what, you ain't gonna get none of this.

You're not gonna keep gettin' my body if you ain't go no plan for my life.

Well, I wish you woulda said that before I came over here.

[audience laughs]

You go to your auntie's house, she ain't talkin' about nothin'.

And she's talkin' and takin' her pants down at the same time.

She's like, "Guess what my sister and her husband were talkin' about today."

[audience laughs]

"So, my dad wanted to have the family reunion at their house this year.

I told her they got the biggest back yard; we should have it over there.

Go ahead, take your time, it's yours.

Hold up, stop. That's rough. Stop, stop, stop.

Go hit that switch and turn that ceiling fan off.

Now, come over here and drink some of this carrot juice

to get that lemon pepper taste out your mouth."

[laughs]

[laughing]

Ah!

If you got that cash, let me hear you say, "Ay!"

[audience] Ay!

Hold up, I heard a man. Wait a minute.

[audience laughs]

I ain't doin' no special in Atlanta no more.

[laughs] Ah!

[chuckles]

If you are a hard-working, ambitious and creative woman,

let me hear you say "Ay!"

[audience] Ay!

To all the hard-working, ambitious and creative women,

y'all might be mad when I tell y'all this one…

To all the hard-working, ambitious and creative women,

did you know, they say lazy women got better coochies than y'all.

Let me tell you why.

'Cause they say all y'all hard-working, ambitious

and creative women, all y'all creative juices be up here.

The lazy woman ain't did nothin' all day.

Them juices sittin' in that crock pot boiling.

[audience laughs]

That's why I like a girl whose credit score so low,

they won't let her in the parking lot of the bank.

I like a girl who gets back a tax refund.

All y'all women, "I make too much money, I pay taxes.

I don't get no refund." Ooh.

I want a woman who gets back $58,000.

She only made $5,000, but she got back $58,000.

Yeah, that lazy coochie's the best.

That's why when I come to my shows,

I don't look at the women in the VIP seats with the good jobs, no!

I want the ones in the back

who just got their ticket right before they sat down.

[laughs] Look at all the heart break women.

You got us messed up. We got that good coochie, okay.

To all the hard-working women, I ain't gonna lie though,

y'all turn us on. Y'all turn me on too.

I'm gonna tell y'all, when y'all turn us on,

when y'all bein' in y'all uniform. Oh, my God!

New scrubs, oh, my God!

A nurse? If you're a nurse, let me hear you say "Ay!"

[audience members] Ay!

I love a nurse!

But I don't like no RN.

[audience laughs]

I like a CNA.

[audience laughs]

Somebody who's too lazy to go to school to get a real degree.

Now, a CNA don't know nothin'. You be havin' a seizure,

she be like, "Uh, just take a bath.

Put some epsom salt in the water."

For a seizure?

A CNA go to school. In four days be on Instagram,

"Look what God did." God ain't do that.

Anybody coulda got a degree to wash an old man.

God didn't do that.

[chuckles]

[laughs]

[chuckles]

Hey, fellas, I know this stuff's funny, but pay attention to this one.

You need to hear this, 'cause I want to make sure

you're with the right woman who gonna help your money flow.

Fellas, did you know,

the size of your woman's booty can determine

how successful you're gonna be in the future.

They say, a man who's got a woman with a little booty

got a better chance of bein' successful

than a man who's got a woman with a big booty.

Now, look at all the little booty women.

"Wayne, what they say, hurry up, tell me. Oh, my God."

I just gotta go get a BBL next week.

Let God use you here tonight.

[audience laughs]

[laughs]

Let me tell you why.

They say, when a man got a woman with a big booty,

he don't even want to go to work.

He wants to sit around with that big booty all day.

When a man got a woman with a big booty,

he wakes up for work, look under the covers,

like "man, no, I ain't gonna go to work today.

That boy from Popeye's might come over here."

[audience laughs]

When a man got a woman with a little booty,

he wakes up for work, look under the covers,

like, "Ah, I got more work to do."

[laughs]

That's why white men are some of the most successful men in America.

[all laugh]

Look at the white girl. "I know, things have changed."

We figured it out.

[indistinct] …can of yams.

Yo, but shout-out to my white brothers and sisters that came tonight.

'Cause Black people, we got to admit

white people, they're more honest than us.

About little stuff you wouldn't even think about either.

If a white lady fart, and you didn't hear,

she'll still let you know.

[audience chuckles]

She be like, "Get back."

[chuckles] The jeep ran over the frog.

Black people, when we fart, you ain't hear it, that's on you.

If we fart and you ain't hear it, we try to run away from it.

Hold up, come here, let me talk to you a minute.

Goddamn, I was just… Oh, goddamn, hold up, wait a minute.

Goddamn, it's followin' me. Let me shake it off, goddamn!

Must be a good wind, wait a minute.

Gotta throw these pants away when I get to the house.

[giggles]

Another thing I like about my white brothers and sisters,

when they invite you somewhere, it's a real invite.

Ain't no other intentions, and they'll invite you ahead of time

to give you time to prepare to wherever they invited you to.

If a white person invites you to a cookout

it's different when a Black person invites you.

When a white person invites you, when they call, the phone even rings nice.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring. You be like, "Hello?"

They talkin' nice, "Hey, how you doin', buddy?"

"Just chillin', man. What's goin' on?"

"Well, we're having a get together

and we want you and the family to come through."

"Okay. Uh, when is it?"

"December."

[audience laughs]

"Well, damn, if I'm still alive."

"A'ight. Do you need me to bring somethin' in December?"

"Oh, no, you better not bring nothing."

Oh, my God, this is a real invite.

Now, if a Black person invites you to a cookout,

whole different situation, whole different ring tone.

Bring.

Everything.

Bring.

Everything.

Bring.

Everything.

You be like, "Hello?" They talkin' all loud.

"What's goin' on?"

"Chillin', man. What's up?

"Man, we're havin' a cookout. Want to invite you and the family."

"Okay, when is it?"

"Today."

"Well, when did y'all plan this?"

"Today."

"A'ight. Do I need to bring anything over?"

"Um, yeah. Just some chicken, some steaks, some forks, some plates,

some beer, some liquor, some juice, some cups and some napkins

and some cards and some chairs and some ice."

"Yeah, yeah, okay."

"Yeah, and some coals to heat that meat up when you come over."

"Well, damn, do I need to bring anything else?"

"Yeah, stop by Walmart and get a grill on the way over here."

I ain't comin' to this expensive cookout, man.

Black people, we're funny, but we make God laugh.

I tell everybody, no matter if you're Black, White or Brown,

you pray to God, you bless this [indistinct].

We just do different things with our blessings.

If a white person prays to God, "My Father, God in Heaven,

will you please send me the money

to pay off my student loans and credit cards?"

God sent the white people the money, they take the money,

they go pay off their student loans and credit cards.

Black people, we pray to God, "My Father, God in Heaven,

will you please send me the money

to pay off my student loans and credit card?"

God sent the money. We see it, like, hey…

[audience laughs]

"God, is this for that? Let me know.

Well, I'll put somethin' on it till you figure it out."

[chuckles]

But I tell people, man,

everywhere I go, they be like, man, Kountry Wayne a vibe.

It's like, I bring out this positive energy.

But I tell everybody, the reason why I've got this fun energy is

because I'm a blend inversion of all Black people.

Kountry Wayne's got all Black people in him.

All Black people just like Kountry Wayne.

We like to just have fun.

They think Black people got attitude. We ain't go no attitude.

Our attitude just connected to how our paycheck is that week.

If our paycheck's good, our attitude's good.

But if our money's low, you don't wanna know.

[audience laughs]

If our money's good this week, man, we could leave here,

somebody could drop a $100 bill, man, we'll pick it up and chase 'em down.

"Hey, you dropped this."

They'd be like, "Oh, my God, most people wouldn't give it back."

We'll go preaching to this person for no reason.

"See, let me tell you about Jesus.

When you got Jesus, you don't need to take nothin' from no man."

We'll sing a gospel song to this person for no reason.

♪There's something About the name Jesus♪

♪It is the sweetest name I know♪

♪Whoa, whoa, whoa♪

But let our money be low…

and we're leaving tonight and somebody drop a $100 bill,

we'll sing a gospel song, all right.

♪Stomp♪

♪Make me clap my hands♪

♪Make me wanna dance♪

Come on! ♪Stomp♪

Thank you, Jesus!

If our money's good this week, we could leave here tonight,

drive our car, somebody could barely hit our car in the back,

bloop. They come to the window worried,

"I am sorry I hit your car. I didn't do no damage.

They'd be like, "Are you okay?"

I'd be like, "I'm fine. We'll just call the police.

The car's just a material thing.

We'll handle that when they come. How's your family?"

But let our money be low…

and we leave here tonight and somebody barely hit our car in the back…

bloop. "Thank you, Jesus!"

[audience laughs]

Ooh, it's a white lady. Thank God.

They come to the window worried, "Are you okay?"

"No, you talkin' to a dead person."

"But I barely hit you."

"This ain't against you, it's against your insurance company."

"Can we just talk about it?"

"How you gonna talk to me and I'm dead?"

Black people, man. That black magic.

Everybody in Hollywood thinks I'm on drugs

'cause I got this natural energy. I tell everybody, I ain't on drugs.

I'm naturally high like this.

I ain't on no drugs. I don't smoke or drink.

I can't even smoke. I will never smoke again.

My first and last time smokin' with my cousin at the family reunion.

I will never puttin' nothin' in my body again that change the time on the GPS.

[audience laughs]

I got high with my cousins. When I got done smokin',

the GPS said I'd be home in 35 minutes.

It took me an hour and 52 minutes.

'Cause I kept drivin' by my house lookin' for my car in the yard.

[audience laughs]

Somebody done stole my car.

And I can't call the police 'cause I'm too high.

I be naturally high, man.

I don't smoke. I can't drink.

Why can't I drink?

Because when you drink you become more of who you really are.

Me, I'm too honest. I like to tell the truth too much.

I know I can't drink. How do I know I can't drink?

'Cause my sister got me drunk for my 25th birthday on Patron.

I got so drunk, I took my main girl to my side chick's house.

[audience laughs]

I said, "That's what's been throwin' your PH balance off."

[audience laughs]

[laughs]

Yep, this is gonna be my last special, right here.

[laughs]

Aah.

Whoo!

When I first came up here with this red velvet suit,

by five minutes in, I realized, I made a bad choice.

[sighs] I feel like the inside of a Cutlass right now.

I'm hot, I'm hot…

but I ain't takin' it off.

Because it match.

You know Black people, when the outfit match,

we'll go through whatever to keep it.

I'll have a stroke up here tonight before I take this jacket off.

I knew it, I knew it,

when I first came out here, I'm gonna go to the ER.

[chuckles] Ah!

But everybody, man, they think I'm crazy though.

And a lot of people ask me, they ask me the same questions.

And I'm tired of givin' the same answer, 'cause it's like,

they be like, "Wayne, how you do everything you do?"

How you drop all them videos every day?

How you move about Hollywood the way you move?

How you handle all those baby mamas and you're still straight?

And I tell everybody the secret, but they don't want to believe it.

I tell everybody, I got Jesus.

If you believe in Jesus, let me hear you say "Ay!"

[audience] Ay!

Jesus is poppin'!

And some people say, "Wayne, you're a hypocrite.

How you say you got Jesus but you had all them women?"

I said, "I prayed for that."

[audience laughs]

My God came through for me. I don't know what your god did for you.

Ain't gonna lie though, man. I tell everybody,

don't blame the women in the situation.

God came to me and tried to save me from that when I was young.

I remember when God knew I was gonna be favored.

He came to me in a dream. He said, "Wayne,

I'm gonna touch your mind and give you a creative mind."

He said, "I'm gonna touch your heart and give you a giving heart."

He said, "And I'm gonna take the urge of women away from you."

And I woke up.

[audience laughs]

I said, "God, you've done enough."

I said, "You go bless somebody else. You ain't gotta bless me."

I said, "Matter of fact, let me suffer with this."

Ah!

But I tell everybody, man, I got Jesus.

How do I know I got Jesus?

Because I've been in situations that I know He got me out of.

'Kay, everybody who knows my story,

me and my daddy and my family, and my uncles,

we sold drugs together for ten years plus.

I'm the only one in the family that ain't go to prison.

Now, my grandma swears I was snitchin'.

[audience laughs]

Every family function, she tell everybody, "Y'all know Wayne told.

He was the snitch.

He say Jesus pop him, but he popped up and told on somebody."

But that's how I know I got Jesus, 'cause I made it off the streets.

I ain't have to snitch or nothin'. I ain't ever snitch.

Now, if somethin' wasn't mine, I'd tell ya it ain't.

One day, I was at my cousin Damon and Travis' trap house.

Now, this their trap house. This their drugs.

So, me and Damon playin' a game, and I heard a knock at the door.

I said, "Somebody at y'all door."

They said, the police. The police bust in,

Damon and Travis drop their drugs right in front of me

and ran out the back door.

So, I had to run to catch them to let them know,

y'all dropped somethin'.

[audience laughs]

We get outside, it's hella dark outside.

So, Damon and Travis decide they wanna hide.

Damon jumped in the trash can, Travis climbed a tree.

So, I hid in the bushes.

But the police found me first.

They could see my eyes glowin' through the bushes.

They thought I was a deer.

So, the police put me in handcuffs, takin' me to the car by myself

'cause they ain't found Damon and Travis.

So, I had to throw Damon and Travis a hint to let them know,

they got us.

[high-pitched] Toodle-ooh!

Game over!

Toodle-ooh!

So, they put me in the car, but they still ain't got Damon and Travis.

I told the officer, I said, "Can you hold on one moment, please?"

I said, "Damon, get up outta that trash can."

[audience laughs]

"Travis, get down from that tree.

They found y'all."

[audience laughs]

"Hurry up, they're ready to go."

I ain't snitch. I won a Hide-and-Seek contest.

[audience laughs]

Jesus got me outta that.

I give all my credit to Jesus. I know I got Jesus. How do I know?

'Cause I had nightclubs before comedy. I had two nightclubs.

To make it out of the nightclub alive? Y'all take that for granted.

But that was Jesus.

You gotta think about it 'cause nightclubs are dangerous.

And if you go to the clubs today, you is stupid.

Why would you go to the club and the DJ tryin' to kill you?

Think about it. It's part of the DJ's fault.

You know why? 'Cause he knows certain songs

you should not play when people got alcohol in their system.

'Cause when people are drunk, they try to follow instructions

to whatever the song tells them to do.

It's two o'clock in the morning,

you already got our money, everybody's drunk.

Why is you playin' Lil Boosie's "Set It Off"?

The lyrics to Lil Boosie's song say,

♪You wanna talk shit?♪

♪You wanna run your mouth? You want some gangsta's♪

♪In your mother--♪ -♪Fuckin' house?♪

-♪We'll set this--♪ -♪Bitch off!♪

I ain't got no gun, but I gotta act like I got one.

And if you got a family member or friend

that likes to go to the club to start stuff, leave 'em at the house.

'Cause they gonna get you killed.

I got a family member, my cousin Pierre.

Let me tell you about my cousin Pierre. My cousin Pierre, he's a bully.

He be gang-bangin'. Guess what?

He tried to bully the wrong guy some years ago.

The guy pulled out a gun and shot Pierre in the hip.

Now he's paralyzed from the waist down.

But Pierre, he's so gangster, he'd try to forget he's in a wheelchair.

Like, we pulled up to the club some years after this situation,

before I became Kountry Wayne to the world,

before I had my own nightclubs.

We'd pull up to the club, my cousin was drivin'.

I'm in the passenger side. Pierre's in the back in the middle.

We pull up to the club, see some girls in the parking lot

we ain't never seen before.

Pierre said something this night that threw me off the rest of the night.

He was like,

"I'm gonna walk in there with y'all tonight."

[audience laughs]

I said, "What'd you say"?

He said, "I see some girls in the parking lot.

That wheelchair gonna throw me off. Leave it in the trunk.

I'm gonna walk in there with y'all tonight.

I said, "How?"

[audience laughs]

He said, "Man, when you get out the car, y'all just hold me up under each arm.

Walk me in and sit me down. I got it from there."

I said, "Pierre, I swear to God on grandma,

I'm not holding you up."

He was like, "Man, hold me up, man."

So, Pierre made me and my cousin get him outta the car.

Everybody's lookin' at us in the parking lot.

I'm like, "It's a long story."

[audience laughs]

We get to the front. The security guard looked at us,

he was like, "Um…

y'all gonna have to separate so I can search y'all."

[audience laughs]

I said, "That's impossible."

He said, "Either separate, or y'all ain't goin' in."

So, I looked at Pierre, he did like this,

so I did like this.

Pow! He hit the floor. He let him crawl on in.

Now, when we get Pierre in the club,

Pierre messed around. Pierre get on that Hennessy.

He wanted to go back to gang-bangin'.

We sat Pierre down. He drank some of the Hennessy.

Five minutes later, he seen some guys he didn't like.

For no reason, threw his hand up. Mmm, mm.

I said, "Pierre, stop it."

Five minutes later, he did it again. Mmm, mm.

I said, "Pierre, stop it before them boys make you walk it how you talk it.

[audience laughs]

Ten minutes later, he did it again. Mmm, mm.

When he did it this time, the boys disappeared.

I said, "Oh, hell."

[audience laughs]

Right before they closed by the end, them guys came back.

Guess what they did. They shot up the club.

Guess whose way they shot. Our way.

Guess what I did.

Left Pierre.

I went outside. I was high. And a girl came out crying.

She was like, "Aah!"

I said, "What's wrong"?

She said, "They shot Pierre!"

I said, "Oh, Lord. Where they shot him at?"

She said, "In the legs!"

I was like, "Oh, he'll be okay."

[audience laughs]

I said, "God works in mysterious ways."

[audience laughs]

Ah!

[chuckles]

It feels good, man, all these women havin' a good time laughin'.

Ladies, I'm gonna say somethin' tonight, and I mean this.

I know y'all think I'm crazy and I play too much,

but I mean this from the bottom of my heart;

Ladies, protect your heart from gettin' broken.

[scattered cheers]

Protect it.

'Cause when y'all heart's broke, y'all ain't the same person.

Ooh, Lord, y'all be so mean when y'all heart broke.

Oh, my God.

Them first two weeks, oh, my-- Y'all be a mean mama.

Your little boy come up to you, "Mama, look what I drew."

"You'll never be a artist 'cause your daddy's slow.

His mama's slow, his sister's slow.

Everybody on his side of the family's slow.

I was away from God when I dealt with your daddy.

Matter of fact, let me pray them demons outta you.

My Father, God in Heaven, please get them demons outta my boy!"

And fellas, let me tell you somethin'.

If you ever broke a woman's heart and she said she forgave you,

she lie.

You think a woman's gonna forgive you for breakin' her heart?

No, she's waitin' on somethin' to happen to you.

You think your ex is really prayin' for you?

Brother, if you broke your ex's heart, you could leave here tonight

and your cock could catch on fire.

And she could see that on social media with you in it.

Guess what she's gonna say when she sees it.

God don't play by me.

He thought God forgot, but God do not play by me!

[indistinct]

She's gonna put a post up,

"I hate it had to go like this,

but you better watch who you're dealin' with.

#GodDon'tPlayByMe."

[audience laughs]

[chuckles]

Protect your heart.

But ladies…

tonight, I'm gonna give you all the secret on how to protect your heart.

The secret to protecting your heart is to know that your heart can be broken.

'Cause if you walk around and know your heart can be broken,

God will protect it for you.

But if you walk around with an ego, like, my mama raised me different.

I'm different than all the other women. Let me tell you somethin'.

If a true player wants you, we could get you.

We ain't even gotta have no money.

Only thing we got to have your ear to make you laugh.

How you think I got all my baby mamas?

[audience laughs]

I made them girls laugh till their panties dropped.

[audience laughs]

[giggles]

[audience laughs]

But after child support, I realize,

the joke was on me.

[audience laughs]

But protect your heart.

The secret to protecting your heart is to know your heart can be broken.

Don't have that ego. I remember this girl in my 'hood.

You know that girl in the 'hood who's fine?

You had all the other fine girls, but you ain't got her yet.

So, she thinks, oh, my God, I'm different.

She told me to my face, she said, "Wayne,

the women you deal with is low frequency."

You can't get me. My mama and auntie raised me different.

I'm a strong, I'm a high frequency woman.

But I knew how to talk to her.

I looked her dead in her eyes and said,

"But I talked to my grandma about you."

[scattered laughs]

She was like, "Oh, my God, you went back to the ancestors.

What your grandma say about me?

[audience laughs]

I said, "My grandma said I'm comin' at you wrong.

She said I'm comin' at you like a girlfriend, but you were born a wife."

[audience oohs]

I said, "You're an angel,

so I gotta come at you from a whole different angle,

'cause it ain't your flesh, it's your spirit.

I gotta get connected to the source of God

before he let me come and get.

[audience laughs]

She gave me that coochie.

[audience laughs]

I ain't call her for a month.

A month later, she called me mad. "Wayne, you backin' differences

you got my stuff. You say you talked to your grandma.

What changed?

I said, "Girl, I talked to my granddaddy."

[audience laughs]

He said my grandma got Alzheimer's. She don't know the hell she talkin' about.

[audience laughs]

That worked every time too, my boy.

Hey, 'cause what's gonna mess up

when you say, "I was comin' at you like a girlfriend,

but you were born a wife."

She'd be like, "He sees the wife in me."

Then you be like, "'Cause you's an angel.

I had to come at you from a different angle

'cause it ain't your flesh, it's your spirit.

So, I gotta get connected to the source of God

before he let me come and get it."

Well, write that down, boy.

My bad, I ain't see you writin' it. I'm sorry.

[audience laughs]

I ain't see you. I'm sorry.

He's gonna be on my DM. "Hey, Wayne,

what you say? The angel went around the corner.

The angel talked to your grandma. What'd the angel say to your grandma?"

[laughs]

[chuckles]

But people ask me all the time, they be like,

they say, "Wayne, why don't you think women today

as compassionate as our mamas, aunties and grandmas was?"

I say, "The women today are the same. Ain't nothin' different.

Only thing different is the music."

However the music is, that's the vibe of the emotions of a woman.

Like our mamas and aunties, they had songs

that helped them be compassionate about their men.

They had artists like Monica.

Remember, Monica had a song that said, I will cross the ocean for you

and bring you the moon.

You know how much a woman got to love you to cross the ocean?

[audience laughs]

A Black woman? She can't even swim.

There ain't no songs about no water and no moon today.

And if there was, it'd be like, "I won't cross a mud puddle."

[audience laughs]

"And I won't bring you a moon pie."

The music changed everything.

That's why nobody don't make love no more.

'Cause the songs don't tell you to make love, man.

People don't wanna make love no more, they wanna get thrown against the dresser.

[audience laughs]

Man, I have mamas and aunties and uncles, they had songs

that gave them instructions on how to make love.

It'd be like, "Touch her here, touch her there.

Rub her soft everywhere."

[audience laughs]

What the music say to do to her today, hm?

Hm? Hm?

"Grab her by the neck, kick her in the knees.

Put her on the floor, pick her back up.

You ain't got no [indistinct]. Go to sleep."

You're goin' to jail.

That's 87 years. You're goin' to prison, buddy.

She's still asleep. You're goin' to jail.

These girls don't wanna make love.

They wanna do whatever the songs tell them to do.

Future got a lyric in his song where he says,

"I'ma put my thumb in her butt."

[scattered laughs]

What?

[audience laughs]

And you girls like that, too.

How I know they like it? I was behind a girl one night.

She looked back at me and said, "Wayne,

can you please put your thumb in my butt?"

I said, "Girl, turn around. Stop talkin' to me."

She was like, "Don't judge me. It's just somethin' I like."

I said, "I'm not gonna put my thumb in your butt."

She was like, "Please." I said, "You beggin'? God.

Hey, ah. Now, don't ask me to do that.

Hey!"

I said, "Girl, that smell like a dookie!"

I went to the bathroom and grabbed a Dial bar of soap

and struck it like a lighter.

I said, "God, please don't let my thumbnail turn brown though.

Oh, Lord, Jesus, please.

Please don't let a mold cover my thumb.

God, it's gettin' worse. Oh, Lord Jesus.

It's on… It's my… Give me another hand."

[scattered laughs]

That's why I judge guys with brown fingernails.

[audience laughs]

Think he was tryin' to lay up and ball his fist up at the same time.

You're a prophet. How you knew that?

[chuckles] But the music's different, man.

Y'all think R&B music's the same now?

[audience] No.

Y'all think it'll ever be the same?

[audience] No.

I don't think so either. You know why?

'Cause they got R. Kelly for real this time.

[audience laughs]

Now, let me ask y'all a question.

Do y'all think R. Kelly was the only R&B singer

dealin' with them young girls back then?

[audience] No.

I don't think so either. And me and Keith Sweat, me and him like this.

I told Keith, I don't think you did nothin',

but you got a song that's suspicious.

[audience laughs]

Keith Sweat got a song where the lyrics go,

"You may be young but you ready-eh-eh-eh."

Ready for what?

He said, "Ready to learn."

Okay, what grade's she in?

[audience laughs]

He said, "You're not a little girl. You're a grown woman."

Okay. Who you tryin' to convince?

He said, "Come take my hand."

What, she need help goin' across the street?

I told Keith Sweat, you're gonna have to remix that one.

But I ask myself, man.

I said, why did R. Kelly music grab us more than everybody's music?

What was it about his music?

I figured it out, y'all.

His music's relatable.

He's relatable. 'Cause that's what I use in my comedy.

A lot of comedians feel like, how Wayne keep gettin' all these specials

and all the opportunities? 'Cause I'm relatable.

I don't even gotta try to be funny.

I come on this stage and just talk all night.

But that's all R. Kelly's music was. R. Kelly's music relatable.

A lot of the artists today, they ain't relatable.

They talk about money too much. I don't know who they talkin' to.

[audience laughs]

They be sayin' stuff like, let me take you to Jamaica on a Monday

and Paris on a Tuesday. Who?

Who the hell's going to Jamaica and Paris in the same week?

Man, everybody ain't got their passport. Shut up.

R. Kelly's music is relatable, man.

He's got a song about gettin' up.

Guess what the name is. Guess what they gettin' up at.

The name of it is "Get Up on a Room."

Get your $150, get a bottle.

Get your room. If you wanna do like in Jamaica,

turn the heat up to 80 and pretend like you're in Jamaica.

[audience laughs]

And another reason R. Kelly's music grabbed us,

'cause R. Kelly's music is simple.

You can understand every word, you can sing along.

You don't know the words to this music today,

we be lyin'.

When we don't know the lyrics, we just do our head like this right here.

Be like, "You know I be ridin', you know they don't slidin'

You know they ain't with it, you know that she with it.

You know that [mumbling]…"

[audience laughs]

Yeah, what you said.

R. Kelly music is so simple,

he has a grown person countin' like they're in kindergarden.

You don't believe me?

♪One, let's go to my room of fun♪

♪Two, I say, give me your tongue♪

♪Three, tonight I'm goin' To fulfill your fantasy♪

♪Yeah♪

♪Four, lie down on the floor♪

♪Five, can't wait to come inside♪

♪Six…♪ Shut up!

[audience laughs]

R. Kelly's music is different.

Everybody be like, we should stop listening to R. Kelly's music.

Let me tell you somethin'.

Everybody who listen to R. Kelly music,

we was already addicted before we heard that stuff.

When you're already addicted to somethin', you just can't get off that overnight.

They be like, you should just be able to get off it.

Can you just get off chicken? No.

R. Kelly's music is like chicken. You know you can't just get off chicken.

Chicken. [chuckles]

But R. Kelly, man.

R. Kelly and a lot of people say Black people let R. Kelly slide.

They say we didn't hold him accountable.

But no, they forgot, man, we heard R. Kelly had pee.

We weren't with that.

We was like no, man, we ain't with that pee.

But he made us forget about that pee.

Guess how he made us forget about that pee.

He dropped that Chocolate Factory album right after that.

That Chocolate Factory album was so good, we forgot about the pee.

We're so stupid, the name of the album was The Chocolate Factory.

That's Willy Wonka.

[audience laughs]

That's a lot of kids.

[audience laughs]

Look at the CNAs, like, I ain't get that one either.

[audience laughs]

[chuckles] But, but they forgot.

We held R. Kelly accountable.

We first heard he had peed,

that album dropped, that first single, we held on tight.

That first single was "Let Me Stick My Key in Your Ignition, Babe."

We're like, nope. Could we just see you pee on somebody, baby?

But R. Kelly wasn't worried. Why wasn't he worried?

He's ridin' around with his hair halfway done,

like he knew he wasn't going to prison.

I'm like, you better go cut your hair. You about to go to jail.

But why wasn't he worried?

'Cause he knew he had that remix to "Ignition" comin' right out the deck.

Now, that remix to "Ignition" was a whole different song.

When it came on, it took over your whole God-durn soul.

I don't care who you was.

♪It's the remix to ignition Hot and fresh out the kitchen♪

♪Mama rollin' that body Got every man in here wishin'♪

♪Sippin' on coke and rum♪

♪I'm like, so what I'm drunk♪

♪It's the freakin' weekend, baby♪

♪I'm 'bout to have me some fun♪

Go get me a headband right now.

[audience laughs]

That boy can take a remix and make it better than anybody's song.

Do you all remember the song,

♪I don't see nothing wrong♪

♪With a little bump and grind♪

And the remix came with somethin' like this:

[playing "Bump N' Grind" by R. Kelly]

-♪You know I can't see nothin' wrong♪ -Atlanta, Georgia,

this is my favorite part of the show.

♪I don't see nothin' wrong♪

I'm gonna pray for everybody to go home and have a baby tonight.

♪With a little bump n' grind, baby♪

♪I don't see nothin' wrong♪

I don't care if you got a hysterectomy, or whatever.

What'd he say?

♪Sit down on the couch Take your shoes off♪

♪Let me rub your body Before I tear it off♪

♪The honey lover man is ready to flex♪

♪Girl, flex, time to have sex♪

♪We'll start right here And work our way around♪

♪I won't stop until I hear The "ooh ah" sound♪

♪Don't front you know♪

♪About the rodeo show♪

♪Now show me some ID♪

♪Before I get knee deep Into you, I don't see♪

♪I don't see nothin' wrong♪

♪With a little bump n' grind, baby♪

♪I don't see nothin' wrong♪

♪With a little bump n' grind, baby♪

[music stops]

Did this man say, "Show me some ID"?

[audience agreeing]

He shoulda took that to court.

[audience laughs]

He shoulda been like, "I said, show me some ID-ee.

Y'all know I can't read."

[audience laughs]

That man needs another lawyer, man.

[audience laughs]

God darn, R. Kelly, man.

All these aunties out here…

all this carrot juice…

and he wants the lemon pepper chicken.

[audience laughs]

Then they be judgin' women.

They be like, "How can a woman listen to R. Kellly?

He ain't never made no song for them."

What?!

Do you remember the song R. Kelly made for a woman

when she was gettin' cheated on by the same man over and over?

He made a song to let that man know one day she's gonna get tired

and he's gonna be lookin' like this right here…

[playing "When a Woman's Fed Up" by R. Kelly]

♪I'm standing here looking in the mirror♪

What?

[all] ♪Saying, "Damn" to myself♪

♪Shoulda known the day would come♪

-♪That she would find somebody else♪ -She gonna find him.

♪And all the things I took her through♪

Shout out to my baby mama, I'm sorry, man.

♪Shit, I shouldn't have lasted this long♪

-♪Now I'm at this telephone booth♪ -Callin' who?

[all] ♪Callin' Tyrone♪

♪'Cause when a woman's fed up♪

♪No matter how you beg, no♪

♪It ain't nothing you can do about it♪

There's nothin' you can do.

♪It's like running out of love♪

♪No matter what you say, no…♪

[laughing, cheering]

♪When the night fell, the same♪

♪And anytime that you were hurt♪

♪I could feel your pain.♪

-[music ends] -[audience laughs, cheers]

[laughing continues]

I took it too far.

When y'all were screamin', I felt like an R&B singer.

But when I couldn't rip my shirt,

I felt like Eddie King of The Five Heartbeats.

[singing indistinct]

♪Nights like this♪

♪I wish raindrops will fall♪

Atlanta, Georgia, I appreciate y'all welcoming me!

[indistinct]

-[audience cheering] -["Preach" by Young Dolph]

♪These bitches They just wanna have my baby♪

♪Born in the '80s, crack baby♪

♪Mama, she was in the streets So guess who raised me?♪

-♪Streets, nigga♪ -♪You motherfuckin' right♪

♪Couldn't get it from my mama So I got it off the block♪

♪Been workin' my whole life But I ain't never punched a clock♪

♪Nine years old I seen a nigga get shot♪

-♪Damn♪ -♪Damn♪

♪Niggas quick to run they mouth When they get jammed♪

-♪Pussy-ass nigga tellin' on his own fam♪ -♪Pussy♪

♪The same nigga That you break your neck for♪

♪Be the same nigga that cross you out And wet you up♪

♪'Posed to be chasin' money But you chasin' bitches♪

♪Real bosses don't talk We just sit back and listen♪

♪Stack that paper up And then make boss moves♪

♪She like to argue So I sent that bitch to law school♪

♪Keep it real with your dog No matter what♪

♪Preach♪

♪Same bitch that claim she love you She'll set you up♪

♪Preach♪

♪Out here in these streets It ain't no such thing as love♪

♪Preach♪

♪The only thing I trust Is this pistol and these slugs♪

♪Preach♪

♪Real nigga shit only what I do and speak♪

♪If that nigga don't work He a fuckin' leech♪

♪Preach♪