Original subtitles

(TurboScribe tarafından transkribe edilmiştir. Bu mesajı kaldırmak için Sınırsıza Yükselt.) Let's go shopping for some pussy.

Shopping for some pussy.

This is going to be my new hit song, Derek.

Shopping for pussy.

Pussy!

I thought I saw some pussy.

I'm a scared pussy away.

You might be right, buddy.

Look at all this shit.

We'd be ditching girls and they'd be leaving in our shit.

We could probably sell.

Make some money out of all this shit.

Intake!

Intake!

Intake!

What was that?

You see that?

In the parking lot.

Where?

In this parking lot.

Was she sitting at the bus stop?

Yeah, right here.

Just take a right.

I mean, I've seen something.

She looked like she might be.

We don't want to go in there.

Turn right here.

Make a right right here.

Stop being a pussy, dude.

Turn right here.

Turn right.

Right in front of the jail.

Try to get close.

Right there, right there.

Hey!

How you doing?

She said no.

What?

I didn't ask you a question.

I said, how you doing?

I'm busy waiting for the bus.

I can see that.

You got five minutes?

I wanted to ask you something.

I'm making a documentary film.

I'm looking for people to interview.

I can't help but notice.

I'm just putting two and two together.

Because we are in front of this intake facility.

And I kind of noticed you do got a little plastic paper.

A plastic paper.

Why are you looking at my shit?

I'm sorry.

You wouldn't happen to be coming out of there, would you?

Maybe, yeah.

Oh, wow.

I'm waiting for the bus.

I'm waiting for the bus.

You know, the traffic is really loud.

Do you mind if you step forward?

I don't know.

What if the bus comes?

Well, we're not going anywhere.

I just wanted you to come closer.

So I can hear you better.

It might be a good opportunity.

So, we make...

Yeah, we make documentaries.

I'm a filmmaker.

We make documentaries.

And I'm just wondering.

I'm actually trying to do a documentary on this intake facility.

Yeah, I heard that it...

I heard that it mistreats the inmates and stuff.

It's not fucking fun in there.

Or maybe not.

I just wanted to get a feel for your experience in there.

I'd love to get a woman's perspective.

I don't know.

I mean, are you...

It's kind of hot out.

Yeah, it is.

But, I mean, it could be down the street.

And I don't want to miss it.

So they won't be able to get home.

Well, I mean, I could give you a ride home.

I don't...

I realize that, miss.

But I am a documentary filmmaker.

So, you know, there's nothing to fear.

I just...

I make movies.

I make films.

You know, documentaries.

I don't know.

You know, I just...

I'm kind of curious.

You know, woman...

You know, basically, I've never been to prison.

And I just want to get your, you know...

Your...

A woman's perspective on prison.

What do you want to know?

Well, did it suck?

Yeah.

Yeah?

My fucking knees are bruised.

Knees are bruised?

Hey, listen.

Look, I could give you a ride to wherever you're going.

No.

I'm not getting you a ride.

I've had a big class.

Alright, well, how about this?

I'll give you...

I'll give you...

I'll give you $50 for the interview.

Because I'd really like to get in here and do it.

Because the sound...

I'm really getting a lot of crazy sound from the street.

That doesn't sound like a safe idea.

I mean, it's safer than being in jail.

It's safer than whatever you did to probably get in jail.

That's true.

I mean, I...

I mean, it's just...

I mean...

I don't know.

Look, I...

$50.

Uh, it's kind of hot.

I think the bus already passed.

I could give you $60.

I'm not taking money to get in with a prostrating bitch.

Um...

I really need this interview.

Look, I'll give...

I'll give you $80 for the interview.

I really got to get you inside because I can't even hear you.

I'd love to get your...

I mean, you're too pretty to be in jail.

I'd love to figure out why and hear your story.

I mean, I'm assuming, you know, it's not your fault.

I'm assuming you wouldn't get in trouble like that.

You know what I mean?

Like, you just seem...

You seem like a really nice girl.

I don't see how you would get wrapped up in there.

So, I'm assuming somebody did something to you, set you up or something.

I'd love to figure out...

I'd love to ask you some more questions.

I'll give you $80 and I'll give you a ride.

That's...

that's a better deal.

Yeah, I mean, who knows?

This might go popular and, you know...

Whatever, helps you out with whatever you need.

Alright.

You okay with it?

I guess so.

I got documentation.

I'll show you my IDs and everything.

You good?

Alright, hop on in.

So...

Alright, let's get this started.

I'm really happy you got in.

I'm not trying to bug you, you know, or anything like that.

It's just really loud out there and I had to get you in here.

So, tell us about yourself.

Like, you know, I guess we can start with how old you are.

I'm 21.

21, okay, and your name?

I'm 21.

Alright.

And I just, as you can see, I just got out of fucking jail.

Oh my god, so that's what they give you.

I've never been in there.

I never been in there.

So, they give you this little plastic...

Wow.

Oh!

I'm so sorry.

I guess that's...

On your knees, huh?

Yeah.

I almost busted it.

Don't hurt.

So, I guess they give you a see-through bag, I guess, to make...

I mean, I don't know, I guess to...

So you can see what you're leaving, what the...

So, I can see you got like your...

I think they fucking took my dollar bills, because all they gave me back was my

change.

Change?

Ah, that's...

They were trying to piss you off.

They gave you change.

Oh, look, you got a pink slip.

Yeah, I'm telling you, this night has not been good.

This has been...

Wow, you got an old phone, bro.

What the hell?

1980s.

It's my phone.

That's an old phone.

You can't destroy that one.

A lot of jewelry and stuff and some change, I guess, huh?

Wow.

Yeah.

So, yeah, that wasn't fun.

Ah, they took your money, huh?

Well, let's get right to it.

I mean, tell us your story, man.

What happened?

Like, how'd you end up in...

Oh, actually, where should...

So, are we going...

Where do we take you?

Up that way.

Straight down?

Straight down?

All right, just keep going straight down until you're right, man.

Got it.

I'll let you know when to turn.

We'll let you know when to turn?

How far are you saying?

A couple blocks or...

I think it's about a mile or two.

A couple miles?

Yeah.

It's pretty close.

All right, so we'll let you know.

All right, cool.

Thanks, driver.

So, tell us.

Tell us your story.

I'm sorry.

So, my fucking ex-boyfriend...

Ah, it's a domestic dispute.

I didn't do anything violent to him.

If you're...

Let me ask you this.

Is he in jail?

No, I was in jail.

He's not in jail and it's domestic, so...

He should be fucking in jail.

Did you just...

You just beat up...

Are you a...

Did you assault your boyfriend?

No, he cheated on me and so I fucking broke the windows on his fucking car.

Ah, she did assault him.

She said fucking four times in two sentences, so you know she's fucking crazy.

I didn't hit him.

He's a fucking asshole.

He fucking deserves it.

Five times.

Wait a minute.

So, you fucking...

Hold on.

You broke his windows?

Yeah, he loves that car, so what else?

Obviously more than me if he's fucking cheating on me.

Oh, my God.

So, you broke his windows.

You're mean.

Well, if I hadn't gotten caught, it would have been fucking...

Oh, my God.

You broke his...

So, you're a little...

It's kind of messed up.

I mean, if someone's going to piss me off like that, fuck me over.

Oh, my God.

Retaliation.

Hey, I don't know.

I don't want to do the interview anymore.

I'm scared.

She's crazy, dude.

I'm not supposed to be scared.

You guys are scared.

Okay.

Nah, we'll just keep out of this.

Look, do I look like I would do anything?

Look at me.

I'm just a fellow filmmaker.

That's all.

I've just been doing this for a while and driving around with the camera.

We get the best stories when we go and hunt people down and find.

I can always set up a little advertisement blast that we're looking for people

to interview, but you get a bunch of weirdos and stuff like that.

I'd rather just go and drive down and meet some nice people and be outside with

the sunny skies.

Yeah.

And look.

Take a left up here.

Oh, okay.

You got to take a left.

All right.

Awesome.

So, wow.

You broke his windows.

Yeah, that's that guy.

Fuck that guy, right?

Fuck him.

I mean.

So, let me ask you.

How'd you catch him?

If you don't mind me asking.

I came home.

Oh, he lived with you?

Yeah.

That's why.

I don't know.

I fucking walked in and he was going at it.

No, you caught him in the act?

Yeah.

That's why that pissed me off so much.

In your bed?

Right.

Where you guys have sex?

He should have been the better person.

What position was he in?

No, fuck him.

What position was he in?

Doggy.

He was probably slamming it from doggy.

She was probably loving it.

She was probably screaming, going crazy.

Okay.

Pissing me off.

Oh, sorry.

You should have just joined him.

Sorry.

You should have just joined him.

You don't believe in swinging?

You don't believe in swinging?

No.

Was she cute?

No, he should have been fucking facial.

Was she cute?

No, she's fucking.

I don't know.

I didn't see her face.

It was doggy.

She was face down.

That's always cute.

She was face down.

That's always cute.

She wasn't as cute as me.

That's all I care about.

She was face down.

So, it wasn't like a friend.

She fucked a friend of yours?

No.

Oh, hell no.

It would have gotten way worse than that.

That would have been worse, huh?

So, how many windows did you get?

The two on the passenger's side before.

Wow.

Before he came out or before the cops came or what?

That ain't cool.

Yo, what kind of fucking pussy calls the cops though?

You know, you deal with it, right?

You just be like, yo.

You know, you deal with it.

I mean, I don't think he wanted to deal with me with a baseball bat in my hand.

Baseball bat in my hand.

Okay, maybe you're right.

He was like, yeah, it was safer to call the cops.

You women are crazy.

What's your nationality?

Where is that?

I'm mixed.

I'm like a bunch of different races.

Name a couple.

I want to see where it might come from.

Irish, English, Swiss, Hispanic, Mexican.

Eh, Mexican.

I can see it.

Oh, wow.

I can see the Mexican.

All right.

Holy shit.

That Mexican came out.

Fucking pastrami sandwich over here.

That little Mexican came out.

She was like, cut your balls off.

Don't worry.

I got a little Mexican in me too, so don't worry.

I love Mexican women.

Takes one to know one.

I love Mexican women.

It probably is your Mexican blood, though.

I'm telling you right now.

I'm sorry, but that's not.

You know what?

We shouldn't be laughing.

It's your life.

And that's, you know.

I mean, did you love them?

You guys been together for a while?

Yeah.

I'm really sorry.

I kind of feel bad for you.

Yeah.

And thanks for giving your ride home.

And look at these knees.

What happened with your knees?

Second floor.

Oh.

There's guys in there?

That's what I was thinking.

I was like, yo.

I couldn't think of anything.

I was like, yo.

There's only one reason why you'd be on your knees.

I'm sorry.

That's a bad joke.

Oh, my God.

Typical douchebag humor.

I'm so sorry.

I got a tear there.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I apologize.

Too soon, right?

Too soon?

Too soon.

Too soon for the breakup?

Just laughing.

It's a joke.

He's gone.

Yeah, he's gone.

Yeah, you're single now.

So it's not like that would have been a bad thing.

That's true.

You can do whatever you want.

You probably were faithful to him this whole time.

Like, why?

Why do that to someone that...

So you never cheated on him at all?

No.

I never cheated on anyone.

Wow.

Why do you look at me like that?

I almost think you're lying because you looked at me.

You're giving me that look.

No.

That's why you're pissing me off so much.

I'm like, if I can fucking control myself, like, why can't you control

yourself?

So what did you do?

You spent one night?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, your makeup's still good and shit, so I guess...

I guess you didn't...

Yeah, I woke up like this.

Sleep standing up?

No.

Wow, this sucks.

So you were getting home, huh?

You were getting home from what?

Like, work?

From work.

Wow.

That sucks.

What do you work?

I work at a bank.

Oh, you work at a bank?

I'm probably going to lose my job.

You know.

Wow.

So, you know, I mean, I guess, you know, I guess you make...

You probably make decent money.

I'm not asking how much you make, but you probably make decent money.

I mean, I'm just a teller, so...

At a teller?

Do you clean the toilets?

If they need me to, then I should.

If they tell her.

No shit, really?

I mean...

Ouch.

That sucks.

Mom, I work at a bank.

That's awesome.

If they tell the teller.

I clean the toilets.

To clean the toilets.

What kind of banking does...

Well, I'm asking because...

So, what's going to happen now?

What's the...

You know, they let you out, I guess, because obviously now you've got to go see

a judge, I guess.

Yeah.

Do you know what you're facing?

Or, like, what are your charges?

Assault?

Deadly weapon?

I don't know.

Yeah.

I mean, because I was...

Oh, property damage.

With a fucking baseball bat at him.

Property damage.

Yeah, property damage and...

Yeah, so I'm going to have to probably get a court defender and...

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Public defender?

Yeah, why?

Well, you might as well just go turn yourself in and just say, arrest me.

I'll just go serve time.

I mean, I don't really have any other options.

What do you mean?

Man, there's lawyers, man.

I know a good lawyer.

Is there...

What's the name of the lawyer?

I think what's the name of the lawyer?

That's just excessive.

Um, you tell me.

I mean, he'll hook you up.

I'll give you his number.

He'll hook you up, I'm sure.

Hmm.

I mean, yeah, there's a retaining fee and then there's, like...

Oh, yeah, we do know.

We do know.

Yeah, and then there's another...

I mean, yeah.

He'll deal with you.

He'll look at you.

He'll look at you.

I mean, if I can get a deal...

Look, what's...

Look, you...

Like, assault...

Like, charges like that are pretty serious.

You might serve a year in...

In jail.

So, like, what's...

You know, if you've got to pay 10, maybe 15 grand to keep yourself out of

jail...

I don't have 10, 15 grand.

Yeah, it's about 10 grand.

What do you mean?

You don't have nothing...

No.

You work at a bank.

You got good credit?

I'm not good at saving.

Apply for a loan?

No, no.

Ask your boss to sign over on the loan?

Don't you know the person that signs off on the loans?

Yeah, I wonder if you got a hookup.

You work at the bank.

You know, the guy that signs off on the loans.

I wonder if he could hook you up.

You know, like, hey, look.

I'm going to apply for the loan.

Sign off on it.

Does that work like that or no?

It doesn't work like that?

Oh.

Sorry.

Alright, well, that's kind of fucked, dude.

You don't want to...

You don't want to do the public defender, man.

I'm...

Ew.

That's no good option.

Hm.

You're speaking Chinese on us.

That's no good option.

That's bad.

Oh, no.

Public defender ain't going to do shit for you.

Oh, no.

You're just a number.

Oh, no.

You're just a number to the public defender.

That's what I am.

They know I love you a long time.

Um...

Come on, man.

You're racist too.

You know what?

Hold on.

I might be just...

We're just having fun.

We're just having fun.

Hey, listen.

I might be just thinking out loud here.

But, um...

I like helping.

You know?

I like helping out.

Okay.

You know?

Um...

You know, you could start, like, a, uh...

A fund page.

Like, a fund me page.

You know?

They have those online fund me pages.

You know?

Where you...

You ask people for help.

I mean...

I don't think...

Because I could...

I could donate, is what I'm saying.

You know what I mean?

That'll work on my phone.

Well, no.

I mean, what do you...

What?

You don't have a computer at home?

No.

Oh, my God.

Girl, you're...

He has things for the fucking house.

Ooh.

That's a smart phone.

That's a...

Well...

What was that?

I don't think it'll work.

It's a dumb phone.

That thing's old.

It's like a prepaid, right?

Yes!

Okay.

It's a brick.

Jesus.

It's not a phone.

Alright, look.

Look.

Enough talking.

Look.

I'm not gonna bullshit you.

Look.

I see you're in a bit of a jam.

And I'm just gonna offer you some help.

Um...

You don't have to take it, of course.

But...

I do have ways for you to make some money.

I could offer you some money.

Here and there.

You could do little jobs.

You know?

Um...

Well, I do got a pocket full of cash.

And we could play a little game of, like, what you'll do for money.

Uh, no.

Like, we could start off with, like, answering questions.

I'll give you a hundred bucks, but you gotta answer three questions.

That's...

That's...

Hey, that's...

I don't know, like...

Well, that's mine.

See, that's mine.

That's my question to ask.

That's why I'm giving you a hundred dollars to answer it.

But once you accept, you can't say no.

Hey, look.

That's...

Isn't that my choice, right?

That's a...

Do you accept or not accept?

A hundred dollars.

Right now, you're at eighty bucks already.

So, a hundred and eighty dollars.

At least it gives you a little head start on this bill, man.

Alright.

What do you wanna ask me?

What is the...

The craziest thing you've done?

Sex-wise.

I'm not gonna tell you about my sex life.

I don't even fucking know you.

Fuck.

But we're getting there.

We never know each other.

It's just sex.

You're an adult.

You went to jail.

For Christ's sake.

Hello?

Hello?

You're a criminal.

You break windows.

Yeah, I'm taking the...

You break windows.

I'm taking the risk of putting a criminal in my van.

We're taking the risk.

We're taking the risk of being a criminal.

You're aggressive.

So, what do you say?

What's the craziest thing you had sex-wise?

Come on.

A hundred and eighty bucks.

I mean, I don't even know if it's true.

So, theoretically, you could be lying.

So, just tell me something.

I wanna know the craziest thing.

I wanna see if you're an honest person.

Uh...

Come on.

Maybe you had sex with one person?

Two people?

Three people?

Four people?

I had sex with my blinds open.

I don't know.

Oh, you're a little bit of a voyeur.

You are not a voyeur, but you're an exhibitionist.

You like people to watch.

That's the craziest thing you've done?

That's pretty rude.

That's pretty lame, actually.

Alright, dude.

Rude!

I'm sorry, but that's pretty lame.

That's not even, like, crazy.

Have you had sex with two people?

Shit, that's two questions.

Fuck.

Hold on.

Alright, hold on.

You only have one more.

Oh, shit.

Ah, shit.

Hold on.

Time out.

Time out.

Alright, that's two questions.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

I gotta think.

This third one's gotta be good.

Have you ever had sex with a woman?

You gotta be honest.

Yeah.

Yeah, you have?

Yeah.

Ah, you little freaky bastard.

Did you like it?

That's the fourth question.

It's for him.

For him, not for me.

I didn't make an agreement with you.

I know.

We don't have to.

We can just...

We can just talk.

She has the right to answer it.

She's okay.

Just talk it out.

Oh, my God.

So you've had sex with a girl?

Yeah.

And she liked it.

Wow.

I'll give you another hundred bucks for another three questions.

That's $2.80. Okay.

Okay?

Fine.

That's $2.80. She's banking.

Did you eat her pussy?

I didn't know you were gonna ask those kinds of questions again.

Yo, now I wanna get down to dirty details.

Did you eat her pussy?

Yes.

Ooh, you little...

You're a little bad one.

Alright, you ate her pussy.

Did you like it?

Yes.

Have you had sex with two guys?

No.

Alright, that's enough of the sex questions.

You guys are making me feel weird.

Alright, that's $180.

You're at $280.

That's good.

That was fun.

That was fun.

Yeah.

I guess.

You seem like you have a little kind of crazy side to you, you know?

I think I'm pretty normal.

How crazy are you willing to get?

Do you like adrenaline?

Do you like go for adrenaline things?

I mean, I like to like...

Activities?

Like roller coasters and stuff.

There you go, yeah.

You live like living on the edge a little bit?

Yeah, sometimes.

Yeah?

Not too much.

And you were with your boyfriend for a long time, so now you're like, you've

been set free.

You're kind of...

I didn't even think about that.

I mean, I'm single.

Yeah, you're single.

You've kind of been set free.

You're kind of damaged a little bit.

You're kind of pissed off.

You're angry.

Damaged?

You know, you're angry.

I am pissed off.

Yeah.

She's an angry woman.

Now it's time to live a little bit, right?

Think about all those random guys that you kind of like...

Maybe you saw while you were with them that you were like, damn, he's hot.

Like, I would totally fuck him.

But you just...

You played it good because you were a good little girlfriend.

You didn't even give it two thoughts.

Or a lot of guys that maybe hit on you while you were with your boyfriend.

You're like, oh man, if I was single, I would totally fuck him.

Have you...

Anybody did you meet like that while you were with them?

Do you like having sex?

God, doesn't everyone?

Yeah?

Alright, then good.

I think I got...

I think I've heard enough.

I'm ready to offer you something else.

And this one's big.

This one's big.

This is $500.

$500.

And you're already up to $280.

So we're talking $780.

And I got the money.

I got the money.

That's not a problem.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Look.

Right here, look.

Pocket full of cash.

Look.

See?

All hundreds.

I ain't even bullshitting.

So I got the money.

I'm a man of my word.

I'll give it to you.

So we're at $780.

But this one's gonna be like...

I'm gonna throw this out there.

This one's gonna be...

Out there, okay?

I need you to have an open mind.

Okay.

Alright, now $700 is a lot of money, right?

$500 is a lot of money.

So I'm gonna ask something big out of you.

Right?

I'm gonna ask something big out of you.

But I don't really think it's that bad.

Would you...

Would you be willing to...

Would you be willing to have sex with him right now?

No!

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Hell yeah.

No?

What?

Yes.

I was looking that way.

He made me look this way.

That's all.

He's down.

I'm down.

No.

Fuck no.

It's $500.

Nope.

It's $500.

Hell no.

Did I offend you?

I mean, is it not enough?

Yeah, it's not fucking rude.

It's not enough.

That's what it is.

It's not enough.

No, that's not what it is.

$500.

I came in here to get a fucking ride home.

And I already asked personal...

You already asked me personal questions.

A ride home.

I can give you a ride home.

Okay, we're still giving you a ride home.

Yeah.

That's it.

I'm trying to offer you a way to make some money to get yourself out of this

huge problem here.

It's a ride within a ride.

It's not rude.

It's not rude.

Hey, you should have thought about it before you broke his windows.

I had nothing to do with just fucking some guy.

Do you want to spend a year in jail?

No.

You know what they do to girls in jail?

No.

I mean, you like girls, though.

Actually, it might be fun for you.

I'm not just some guy.

But they're not cute, though.

I don't fucking know you.

The sex might not be scary to you, but they're not cute girls.

These are like manly girls.

Like, hey, bitch, give me the pussy.

No, I'm not fucking doing it.

There, there, give me the pussy, bitch.

There, there, there.

There.

Smelly, too, probably.

Woo.

Bad hygiene in there.

You're not convincing me.

Woo.

A year in jail.

That sounds terrible.

All right, I'm sorry.

Look, I thought you were open-minded.

I thought you were kind of like adventurous and open-minded.

I'm sorry.

I'm not trying to offend you.

I'm trying to offer you ways to make money.

Is he serious?

I mean, I'll go to jail.

What's the problem?

What are you talking about?

I don't want to fucking have sex with some fucking stranger.

Look, it's $1,030.

I added it up.

You really want...

Okay, stop there.

I mean, I can't keep her in the van.

If she wants to get out.

I promise you'll love it.

If she wants to get out, she can get out.

Thank you.

I can't keep her in.

That's fine.

Look, I mean, look.

But hold on, hold on.

Like, look, look.

Before you go, look, look.

Before you go, like, don't go so soon.

Like, I'm sorry.

I'm not trying to, like, offend you or anything.

Well, you're being offensive.

Well, I'm not trying to.

But you should think about your options before you leave.

Like, you're actually...

Look, you...

She forgot her stuff.

Look, she's forgetting...

Give me her stuff.

She's not going anywhere.

You're forgetting your shit.

Like, yo, your head's...

Why are you pissing me off?

Your head's not even on right, right now.

I don't...

Honestly, I think you're not thinking straight.

All right?

You're kind of in the middle of nowhere now.

Now you're even farther from home.

Like, you...

I don't know if you got, like, a credit card in there or something, but, like,

you have a phone that probably doesn't even work.

It's dead.

It's dead, exactly.

You got change in there.

You probably got barely enough for one bus.

I mean, think about your options for a second.

Look, I'm sorry.

Maybe it's the money.

I'll give you a thousand dollars.

It's a thousand bucks.

All that...

It's just sex.

Like, you're single, first off.

Right?

You're single.

It's just sex.

I mean...

Two.

And it's just sex.

Three.

Are you guys going to, like, tell anyone?

I mean, he's not cute.

I mean, he's not ugly, right?

No.

He's not ugly.

I love you.

Are you guys going to, like, tell anyone?

No, of course we're not going to tell anyone.

It's just between us.

You know, I can't even show this to no one.

So, it's just between me and you.

I'm just trying to offer you some money and just make it worth my while.

Because if I'm going to give you a thousand bucks, I mean, hey, I'm not

supposed to see you have sex.

I mean, he's not ugly.

He's not ugly.

And you're single.

And what a better way to get at your ex-boyfriend than to be like, ha-ha, look

at me now.

I made it.

So, we're a thousand.

You're at eleven...

Twelve eighty.

That's a lot of money, man.

Twelve hundred bucks, that's definitely at least, like, what, the retainer fee?

That's like a retainer fee.

Easy.

And you said you have that lawyer to hook me up?

Yeah, yeah.

He'll hook you up for that.

Yeah, the retainer fee is probably, like...

Yeah, I think the retainer fee is only, like, a thousand for me anyways.

And then he'll do payments for the rest.

He'll definitely get you off.

He'll do payments?

Yeah, yeah, he'll do payments for the rest.

The guy's name is Bob.

Come on.

Okay.

You're okay?

You're...

Oh, shit, she's good.

So, get on in.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Hurt your knees, hurt your knees.

Hurt your knees, hurt your knees, hurt your knees.

Also, like...

Have a seat.

So, do I sit down?

Yeah, just...

Awkward.

I don't bite.

Driver, drive.

I don't bite.

Unless she wants me to bite, then I can bite.

I'll nibble.

So, this is kind of awkward, huh?

It's not awkward.

Does it feel weird?

Yeah.

This is probably, like, how set-up weddings are.

Look, look, look, look, listen.

I know I'm joking, but look.

Let's, you know...

I'll just stop talking and you guys just, you know, get to know each other.

That's all.

I'll just be back here.

You know, just...

I'll let Derek take over.

You just...

What a douche move.

What a douche move.

Yo, come on, man.

Make her feel good.

Okay, I got it, I got it.

Turn bright red.

What am I...

Are you turning bright red?

Look, look, we gotta take all this crazy stuff she has on.

There you go, see?

Maybe her shoes.

Why don't we...

Look, why don't we...

Why don't we start with a little kiss?

Start with a kiss.

Are you the kiss type?

Little peck.

Little peck.

She's smiling.

Don't be shy.

Okay, I'll start with the nose.

Like...

Here.

Not so bad.

You know what?

Let's just...

Oh, look at her little...

Her nipples there.

Freeze!

It is.

She just came out of jail, I'm joking.