Original subtitles

The tank itself was unusual in that it was vertical and looked like an old

boiler.

Inside the tank, the subject wore a heavy glass bubble, and you would have

thought the whole contraption uncomfortable, to say the least.

It was, however, effective.

Of the 23 students tested, only two found the experience unpleasant.

Some even called it exhilarating. A number of students hallucinated.

Dr. Jessup found the encephalographic evidence especially interesting.

And one Saturday afternoon in April 1967, he decided to try the experience

himself.

Arthur. Hey, Arthur.

Are you there?

Can you hear me, Arthur?

Arthur, answer me.

Is that it?

You want me to come in and get you out?

Yeah.

I want to get a look at those EEG tracings.

How do you feel?

I bet.

I hallucinated like a son of a bitch.

A variety of dreams, faith, mystical faith.

A lot of religious allegory, mostly out of revelation. Sure, isn't it? Close to

five hours.

Not like an hour. I'd like to try that by jump sometime.

You should. You'll like it.

Do we have any communication?

Oh, sure. I kept checking you out like you told me to.

How'd I respond?

Very orderly.

At one point, you were crying.

I wasn't actually crying.

You were sobbing. There were tears on your face.

And I asked you what was going on. You said you were re -experiencing your

father's death.

Did you make notes?

It's all there.

I'd like to try this again next week, Arthur. Do you think you can make it

next week?

What are we looking for?

I don't know.

Yet.

There's really very little literature on this kind of research.

There's some good people in the field, Tart, Ornstein, Deichmann, but most of

is radical hip -hop, drug culture, apologia.

Obviously, the first thing to do...

Let's set up some sensible methodology, see if we can't study these experiences

under controlled laboratory conditions. It will not interfere with the work

we're doing with Hobart. Oh, what are we getting into?

Sensory deprivation?

Isolation studies?

I mean, you know, where will we be going? What's the tank number? I'm not

writing up a grant, Arthur. Strictly bootlegging, just for kicks. I figure as

long as we get the use of this tank, let's play around with it. Let's find

where it takes us.

It's fascinating stuff, Arthur. I think we ought to get into it.

I didn't even know they had one of those isolation tanks at New York Hospital.

Must be some guy in the psychology department doing sensory deprivation

What's, uh, Jessup doing with it?

You got me.

He's been taking students out of his classes and testing them.

He's been doing this for three, four months.

Did you know, uh... Arthur!

Jessup was into this kind of stuff? Not till you just told me. Arthur!

What do you want, honey? How long are you gonna let it ring?

No, it's okay. I'll get it.

He's the last guy in the world. I think he'll be screwing around with anything

as flaky as altered states of consciousness.

Well, let's face it.

Jasper's pretty flaky himself.

That's him.

Arthur says you're very shy.

He wants me to draw you out.

Draw me out? That doesn't sound like Arthur.

Well, what he actually said was you were a high -handed, arrogant prick.

A little nuts, but brilliant.

And that if I ever got you talking, I would find you fascinating.

That sounds more like Arthur.

He says you're doing some work with him and Alan Hobart at Payne Whitney. Yes.

What sort of work?

I talked to my tabloid stuff for more or less replicating Heath and Friedhoff

strategies, trying to find maverick substances specific to schizophrenia.

I think we're chasing our tails. What do you do?

I'm a physical anthropologist. I'm sweating out my dissertation.

Where?

Columbia.

Holloway. And that bunch.

You're kind of young for a PhD, aren't you?

I'm 24.

That's still pretty good. I didn't get my PhD until I was 25.

I'm supposed to be a whiz kid.

I'm a whiz kid, too.

Anthropology seems to attract good -looking women.

So, you don't think schizophrenia can be reduced to a single ecological agent?

I'm not even sure it's a disease.

You think man is simply another state of consciousness?

There's a body of evidence to support that.

You don't like to talk about your work, do you?

There's a rule, no.

I've always been interested in interior experiences, especially the religious

experience. The only reason I'm working with schizophrenics now is the religious

experience is so significant in schizophrenia.

There's only so much work you can do with animals. I worked with monkeys for

years, but monkeys can't tell you what's going on inside their consciousness.

You need human beings for that, and you're not allowed to ablate human

and you can't stick electrodes in their skulls, so I have to use some kind of

trance -inducing technique, and the isolation tank seemed the least risky.

Listen, I'd like to go home with you tonight. Would that be all right with

I've got a roommate who will be confined to the living room couch.

What's wrong with the living room couch?

You tend to slip off a lot.

I'm sure we'll manage.

I'm sure we will.

So whenever you want to go there, you let me know.

How about right now?

God. Jesus.

Crucifixions.

As a rule, do you usually think about Christ and crucifixions under sexual

stress?

When I was nine years old, I used to see visions.

Visions of saints and angels, even Christ himself.

Of course, I don't do that anymore.

Not since I was 16.

Were your parents religious?

Anything but.

My father was an aeronautical engineer. My mother a clinical psychologist.

What happened?

I mean, how did a little kid who's all visions of Christ turn into a

physiologist teaching at the Cornell Medical College?

I stopped believing.

It was very dramatic.

My father died a protracted and painful death of cancer.

I was 16 years old and very fond of my father. I used to race to the hospital

every day after school.

I was in his room doing my homework.

He was very heavily sedated.

The last few weeks he was in coma.

One day I thought I heard him say something.

I got up and leaned over him.

My ear an inch away from his lips.

Did you say something, Pop?

When I heard the word, he was desperately trying to say a soft hiss of

He was saying...

was terrible, even for the good people like my father, so the purpose of all

suffering was just more suffering.

By dinner time, I had dispensed with God altogether. I never saw another vision.

I haven't told anybody about this in ten years.

I'm telling you now because I want you to know what sort of a nut you might be

getting mixed up with.

Arthur was right.

You are a fascinating bastard.

Bye.

Hi. Hi.

Well, it's settled.

Met Cat's folks at Spencer again this morning, and it's definite. The job's

mine. So, I'll be in Nairobi doing my postdoc work July and August, and in

September, I'll be teaching at Harvard.

Oh, terrific.

So, looks like we'll both be teaching at Harvard in September.

Looks that way.

Well, you can't get any tidier than that, can you?

We're going to be together in Boston.

And I think we should get married.

You know, of course, I'm supposed to be at least a little bit nuts.

A little bit?

You're an unmitigated madman.

You don't have to tell me how weird you are.

I know how weird you are.

I'm the girl you're bad the past two months. Even sex is a mystical

for you.

You carry on like a flagellant, which can be very nice, but I sometimes wonder

if it's me that's being made love to. I feel like I'm being harpooned by some

raging monk in the act of receiving God.

And you are a Faust freak, Eddie.

You'd sell your soul to find the great truth.

Well, human life doesn't have great truths.

We're born in doubt. We spend our lives persuading ourselves we're alive.

And one way we do that is we love each other like I love you.

I can't imagine living without you.

So let's get married.

And if it turns out to be a disaster, it'll be a disaster. We'll shake hands

say goodbye.

He's giving her dimethyltryptamine. It takes effect in about a minute, and

she'll trip out for about half an hour.

Do you feel different now?

Yes. Less anxious?

Much less.

Do you have any special feelings?

I feel like my heart is being touched by Christ.

There's a lot of religious delusion among acute schizophrenics.

Some guys say schizophrenics are physically different from the rest of

almost as if they were trying to change their physical selves to adapt to their

schizophrenic image of themselves.

All right, we'll get married, since it's that important to you.

I'm not comfortable with women, and I'm not likely to find anyone half as

remarkable as you again.

I think I can make a reasonably good husband.

I don't want to lose you, you see.

I suppose that's the closest thing to a declaration of love that I will ever get

out of you.

Am I really that weird in bed?

Sometimes.

Shall I try to change?

No, I kind of like it.

Take over now? Eddie, I'm tired.

Then we'll give the little lady a ride. Hey, Mason, careful.

Oh!

How you doing, Eddie?

Hi, Mason. How about a beer?

Look at the family man We

got

a nice little place near Huntington field

Seven years since we moved to San Francisco. I was going to teach at

University. No, he's been jailing me. I cannot believe it's been seven years.

You guys must be loaded.

Oh, listen, we've got a place in Maine you can use for the summer. I'm going to

Africa again in June. Eddie will be in Mexico.

Listen, you know a guy named Echevarria, University of Mexico, said he'd work

with you in California.

Sure. Very bright young guy. Right here in Boston, the Botanical Museum, we'll

all have to get together. I'm going back to Mexico with him in June.

What's in Mexico? Oh, that's a breed of cat. They have a witch doctor down

there, the Hinchy Indians.

They're an isolated tribe in central Mexico who still practice the ancient

Toltec rituals, sacred mushroom ceremonies, that kind of thing.

Apparently, they use some kind of pollutionatory drug that is supposed to

a common experience in all users.

Matt, you're falling asleep on the couch. Will you take care of her?

Sure.

Did you ever get into an isolation tank since New York?

No. Did you?

No, but I've just found out they've got one here at the medical school.

I didn't think anybody was doing those kind of studies anymore.

I thought we did some pretty interesting stuff in that tank in New York for the

couple of months we played around with it.

Maybe when I get back from Mexico, we'll get into it again.

Why not?

It's a terrific housekeeper, she's not.

They're getting a divorce, you know.

Who? I don't know if they're actually getting a divorce. What are you talking

about?

She and the kids are moving to a furnished place in Cambridge. That's why

place is such a mess. They're moving her stuff into storage tomorrow.

And she's going on to Africa for a year with the kids, and he's going to Mexico.

And when she comes back, she's going to live in Cambridge, and he's staying

here. It's him wants the divorce, not her. Listen, I'm surprised they stayed

together this long.

When did all this happen?

She just told me five minutes ago.

What about all those letters she kept writing us about how happy they were?

Don't ask me. She's still crazy about him. He's still crazy.

Listen, Sylvia, just... Sylvia, just tell me you're getting a divorce.

Well, we're getting separated anyway. We probably won't get around to the

divorce until next year. Well, look, I mean, I know it's none of my business,

but why?

You are married to one of the great women of the world who adores you. My

if anybody has it made, you have.

You're a respected and admired figure, a full professor on the faculty of the

Harvard Medical School.

God's sake, Arthur, is that how you imagine me? A respected and admired

A devoted father, a loving husband? Well, I've also published nearly two

a year for the last seven years, and not a fundamental piece of work in a lot.

Sit around the...

living rooms of other young married faculty members talking infantile

masturbation who's sucking up to the head of the department whose tenure is

hanging by a thread.

Emily's quite content to go on with this life. She insists she's in love with

me, whatever that is.

What she means is she prefers the senseless pain we inflict on each other

pain we would otherwise inflict on ourselves.

But I'm not afraid of that solitary pain.

In fact, if I don't strip myself of all this clatter and clutter and ridiculous

ritual, I shall go out of my fucking mind.

Does that answer your question?

What question was that?

You asked me why I was getting divorced.

Oh, listen, it's your life.

I'm sorry I even asked.

Listen, why don't I call the chivalry? Well, I'll go out and have some dinner.

As a matter of fact, Eduardo.

My year in India was disappointing, no matter how I did it twice. Yoga is still

a state -specific technology operating at the service of an a priori belief

system. We scientists have a moral obligation to the public, as well as to

own research.

You have a proof of that, Lucy. Take it short in that time. You've got five

minutes for you.

There isn't a reason.

Man, another Savannah living a private life could have you.

What dignifies the yogic practices is that the belief system itself is not

religious.

There is no Buddhist god, per se. It is the self, the individual mind that

contains immortality and ultimate truth.

What the hell is not religious about that? You've simply replaced God with

original self. Yes, but we've localized it. At least we know where the self is.

It's in our own minds. It's a form of human energy.

Our atoms are six billion years old. We've got six billion years of memory in

our minds.

Memory is energy.

It doesn't disappear. It's still in there. That's a physiological pathway to

earlier consciousnesses.

I'm telling you it's in the goddamn Olympics.

You're a wacko.

What's wacko about it, Mason? I'm a man in search of his true self. How are

typically Americans and you?

Everybody's looking for their true selves. We're all trying to fulfill

ourselves.

Understand ourselves.

Get in touch with ourselves.

Face the reality of ourselves.

Explore ourselves.

Expand ourselves.

Ever since we dispensed with God, we've got nothing but ourselves to explain

this meaningless horror of life.

You're a wacko.

I think that that true self, that original self, that first self, is a

mensurate, quantifiable thing. Tangible and incarnate.

And I'm going to find the fucker.

Are they safe?

The mushrooms are almost set me.

Amanita muscalia. A very powerful psychedelic and a little dangerous.

It contains belladonna, like alkaloids, atropine, scopolamine.

It's in a teaching class.

It's highly regarded among a number of Indian tribes.

I've seen it as far north as Chihuahua.

The Indians say it evokes old memories, even ancient ones.

And the inches call it the first flower.

First in the sense of primordial?

Yes.

In the sense of the most ancient.

I'd like to try it.

Do you think they'd let me join their ritual?

Well, they seem like agreeable people.

He says it's all right for you to participate in the ceremony.

Good. Ask him what kind of an experience I can expect.

Are they gathering these mushrooms for the ritual?

No, they're being housed for next year.

Your soul will return to the first soul.

Ask him what this first soul will look like.

¿Cómo es la primera alma?

Es la materia encriada.

Is that good stuff?

Entonces usted se lanzará en el vacío.

Then you will propel into the void.

Usted verá una mancha.

You will see a spot.

The spot will become a crack.

This is the crack between the nothing.

And out of this nothing will come your unborn soul.

He wants you to hold the root.

Put out your hand with the palm of your hand.

Eduardo!

All right. See you all right.

Oh, my God!

Manohar! Sultan!

We only have their word I killed a lizard. Oh, no. You didn't see it, and I

no recollection of it. And this whole hideous business is just a joke the

Indians have played on me to make the gringo look like a fool.

Look, you asked me what happened, and I told you.

You drank the mixture, and you went outside.

After a while, there was a scream, and some dogs were barking. I shouted after

you. The screaming stopped, and the brooker yelled at me to come back and

forget. Bullshit.

Then why did you ask the brooker to give you the mixture and take it back to

Boston?

I thought I'd like Arthur to analyze, maybe synthesize it.

Fire. Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

It's new.

It's deafening. The noise is deafening.

Can you hear me about this noise?

Oh, my God.

The most unbelievable thing I've ever seen. I'm watching the bird dragon here,

but not me.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

I'm fine, really.

I'm fine.

Do you want me to bring you down now?

What happens now? He's blacked out.

Blackouts can get pretty freaky. Sometimes they last as long as four

he comes out of it, he's as chipper as a bird, but he doesn't remember a thing.

Just how dangerous is this stuff you brought back from Mexico?

No, I didn't say dangerous. I said it was weird. It hangs around too long. And

what's really screwy is it hits straight to the brain.

Well, I don't believe this.

You guys are shooting off with an untested drug that stacks up in the

works in the nucleus of the cell, and you don't call that dangerous.

For the record, we don't actually shoot up.

Any drinks... Well, it's going to stop right now.

You guys are supposed to be reputable scientists. Not two kids in the door

freaking out on Mexican mushrooms.

Well, why do you think I called you for? Let's see you stop him.

This ain't LSD, goddammit. This ain't no serotonin antagonist you're drinking.

How many grams of that stuff do you think you've already got in you?

Two? Three?

You could be working out one hell of a case of cancer with a truckload of anti

-metabolites in it. The Hinch Indians have been drinking that stuff for

centuries. No special incidence of cancer. Fuck the Hinch Indians.

Now, you don't know anything about those mushrooms. Sounds to me like they have

fantastic staying power. We shot up at least 30 rats with that stuff. Some of

them have a whopping load in them. And none of them have been noticeably

affected.

Where are we going now? I thought we were going to get something to eat.

wants to show me an isolation tank.

Isolation tank? You guys get flicker every time I talk to you. I thought all

that isolation tank stuff went on in the 60s with Timothy Leary and all them

other gurus. Hey, will you shut up for a minute and let somebody else say

something? What happens during these blackout periods is you get the feeling

phenomenal acceleration, like you're being shot out over millions, billions

years. Time simply obliterates.

You sense the hallucination is going on, but you get no images. Well, I want to

break through that blackout barrier. I want to know what those images are that

know are going on, but I can't see.

We can't raise the dosage of the drug because we're close to toxic levels now.

So the only way to intensify the experience is to take the 200 milligrams

conjunction with the tank. There's a lot more things I'd like to do to that drug

before you take it again. I'd like to do a half -life determination. I would

take a year.

Look.

All I know is that Mexican stuff is an extraordinary substance and every

instinct I have tells me I'm into something hot here.

And another 200 milligrams isn't going to kill anybody.

There it is.

Oh, it's horizontal.

Smaller than the one we had in New York.

Well, if they're doing sleep studies here, it must be wired to sound. I don't

think anybody's used it in years, but I checked it out yesterday and it worked.

It won't take a week to get your ass in a sling. If it ever gets out, you're

using an untested drug on human subjects. Don't worry so much, Mason.

going to happen to you. I've got a quick hamburger. I told one of the kids in my

class that I'm at the theater tonight. All right.

Do what you want to do. I think you're both irresponsible as hell.

So don't call me anymore, Arthur, and tell me you're worried about Eddie

all this shit into him. I'm telling you right now, don't you put any more of

that shit into him until you know a hell of a lot more about it.

I've offered you the use of my lab and all the rats you can cut.

That's as much as I want to be implicated in your dumb experiments.

Get your own dumb hamburger. I already got my own date I'm an hour late for.

I already did these first three. You do the rest.

Couldn't resist, right?

Somebody's got to keep an eye on you two sorcerers.

What have you got in there? Some kind of salt solution? Yeah, 10 % magnesium

sulfate for buoyancy.

Weird man. Excuse me, Mason.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Okay, you're fine.

Wednesday, January 7th, 428 p .m.

Oh, hey, this is terrific.

There's no plateau or lowland.

Grasslands, savannas.

I feel I am actually alive and inside this landscape.

A density of woodlands about a mile away beyond that. Mountains that seem to be

smoking. Newly born mountains.

Cenozoic, later tertiary.

I'm in an edge area.

Other tranquility, but alive.

Life in the trees, life in the sedge.

Oh, my God. The birth of man. That's got to be it.

My God. There is a proto -human, the first.

and original, truly human form.

Um, tiny, perhaps four feet high, completely furred.

Chimp -like, but erect, no knuckle -walking, shorter arms. He's moving

gracefully. There's, um, two, three of them. Uh,

bipedal, tiny little furred humanoid creatures. Got a chunk of lava in their

hands there.

Um, stalking or hunting something.

For Christ's sake.

Are you okay, Eddie?

I'm becoming one of them.

I'm no longer observing.

Do you want to come down?

No.

Sounded like he was having a bad trip to me.

Some of these tank trips can get pretty creepy.

No. Do you want me to leave you alone?

Yeah.

I thought you said these things don't last more than four hours. It's four to

nine. He's coming out.

I don't like being out of contact for these long periods of time, Eddie.

I think he's in shock. He must have had a seizure. He hit his head or something.

What do you want blood tests for?

What'd she say?

Buckle smear blood for a karyotype. Also, pictures for the Goodman and

lab. Pictures of my neck. Now, before I reconstitute.

Before what?

Before he reconstitutes.

Well, then take his damn blood and maybe let me have a look at him.

Do you mind if I examine your neck for a minute?

Any masses?

Now. Oh,

stop talking shit. You trying to say your dumb hallucination is

externalized? What did he write?

Not common aphasia, time, space, fallout from the hallucination. You are a

fucking sleep, Jessup. So get dressed, and I'm going to take you over to

and do a complete workup on you.

You are a very sick dude, you dumb... son of a bitch, and I'm going to look

your throat and do some skull films, get a CAT scan, maybe even an arteriogram,

and I'd like an unbiased eye and look at those EEG traces.

What's he say?

X -ray.

All right, finish up with him, Arthur, and let's get him over to X -ray.

Be right back.

It's purely mechanical I'd like some plain films of this guy's neck

PA a lateral and oblique Jesus doctor I'm backed up to my take the damn

pictures. This is an emergency. Okay

Might be a TIA.

I guess we'd better not tell Eddie he had blood all over his face when he came

out of the tank. He'll claim it was goat's blood from that goat he was

his hallucination. For Christ's sake, you know you're really getting as weird

he is. What do you think happened?

He's not the type for hysterical conversion, so I'm thinking seizure. He

out of that tank in a fugue state and had blood all over his face. He must

had a seizure while in the tank.

bit his lip while convulsing in his post -ictally aphasic. I thought maybe he

had a vascular insult, a stroke, or flip pneumonia.

That neurologically is intact, so I'm thinking seizure now.

Mm -hmm.

Why don't you just take it easy? None of us are so terrific at reading x -rays.

What are you guys looking for? Just put these in an envelope. Who's reading

tonight in radiology?

Dr. B's in shock.

I want someone to look at those x -rays. You can read them anyway. We may not

have everyone in the Brigham Inn on it. Bad enough we've got this nosey x -ray

technician. Are you all right?

I'm fine, Mason. I tried to indicate this was just a transient thing.

Transient ischemic attack. That's what it was.

Just watch that. Transient ischemic attack.

It wasn't a seizure. You saw the x -rays, Mason. There was clearly

anterior to the larynx. It looked like a laryngeal sac. That's strictly simian,

I obviously request.

To some quasi -simian creature.

I'm going to show these to someone who can read a rhyme. If you're reading them

wrong, that's all there is to it.

Because no one's going to tell me you de -differentiated your goddamn genetic

structure for four goddamn hours and then reconstitute it.

I'm a professor of endocrinology at the Harvard Medical School. I'm an attending

physician at the Peter Bent Brigham Hospital.

I'm a contributing editor to the American Journal of Endocrinology. And

fellow and vice president of the Eastern Association of Endocrinologists and

president of a journal club.

And I'm not going to listen to any more of your capitalistic...

Quantum friggin' dumb limbo bumbo jumbo. I'm going to show these to a

radiologist.

Do me a favor. Occlusion bilateral aspiration pneumonia.

Do me a favor. Take a look at these. What's the story in this case?

35, you're a white male, acute onset of aphasia. Now get some trauma.

What are you looking for?

Well, it looks to me like the architecture is somewhat abnormal.

Somewhat.

This guy's a fucking gorilla.

Ugh!

Are you okay, Dr. Joseph?

Yes.

Are you all right, Dr. Jethro?

I'm fine.

I just want to make a few notes.

Emily.

My God, you look so marvelous.

How have you been, Eddie?

Just fine, you?

Fine.

Are you going to drive me to hell?

You bet your life, and depending on how nice you are, I may even take you to a

Chinese restaurant.

tell you baboons aren't occasionally carnivorous.

I observed instances of predation, which involved the unmistakable behavior of

hunters. A pair of baboons killed a toxic gazelle and ate it.

There was even a rudimentary communication between the two baboons.

So I've become fascinated with the work being done on nonverbal communication

with apes. I've been corresponding with the gardeners at the University of

Nevada.

I may just go out and spend a couple of weeks there this summer.

I've got nothing else to do except write up my report.

I don't suppose you recorded any of those baboon sounds.

Yes, of course I did. Why?

I'd like very much to hear them.

Of course.

Mrs. Tully said she'll be here tomorrow morning at 10 .30 to help you put

everything away.

She wanted to know if you wanted her to come back to work steady.

I got a letter from Mason about a week ago, just before we left Nairobi.

He says that you've been...

working with a very complex drug which he brought back from Mexico.

It hasn't been thoroughly tested yet. It is dangerous as hell.

What else did Mason write you?

He said that over the past year you've taken about two grams of that drug

yourself and that you had a very unusual instance of genetic regression about

three months ago.

You may have leukemia or lymphoma.

He's been trying to get you into the hospital for a complete workup, but

refused to go.

He's worried stiff that you're cracking up.

He thinks you're behaving very strangely.

And he begged me to talk to you about this when I got back.

Mason is pathologically incapable of keeping his mouth shut. He's also a

starched doctor and an idiot. Mason is a first -rate doctor. It's not leukemia.

Or any other kind of cancer.

I've let him do a liver spleen scan on me and a CAT scan. I have been probed,

scoped, and palpated. Mason's had a mirror down my throat or up my ass every

half hour for the last three months. And there was no evidence, no suggestion

whatsoever of cancer.

What else did Mason write you?

Which of these has the bad moodle?

I'd like to hear them.

Why? Did Mason write you that during that instance of regression I went

I had a new phasic experience for about four hours? It only sounds like I could

get out.

The clicks and grunts have got a gut hunch. They're very much like the baboon

vocalizations. Mason said that you took blood tests, and the lab report showed

some characteristics of the hemian blood group system.

They also picked advantages specific to man. I'd like to see that data. I mean,

for God's sake, the thing to do is for me to get back to that isolation tank

try it again. Let's see if it happens again. I mean, none of us really

it happened.

After three months, I'm beginning to wonder if it ever happened myself, but

no. They won't go back to the tank. Mason's taken over the whole project.

He's got Arthur up in his lab every day, fractionating rat sprains. What the

hell am I supposed to do while they're fractionating rat sprains?

Mommy.

Everybody thinks your father's going nuts.

Mommy, when are we going to eat?

We're long out, Santa Grace.

I am convinced the regression was triggered by an act of consciousness.

When I was in the tank, I entered another consciousness. I became...

self, a more primitive self. And the drug, in some way, triggered the

externalization of that other more primitive self.

At least look at my data.

Of course. Maybe tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow afternoon.

Don't patronize me. I'm not.

It's possible.

I'm not mad, you know.

I'm asking you to make a small quantum jump with me to accept one deviant

concept.

that our other states of consciousness are as real as our waking states, and

that that reality can be externalized. I know, but I've been getting this

patronizing shit from Arthur and Mason for three months now, and I'm sick of

We've got millions of years stored away in that computer bank we call our minds.

We have got trillions of dormant genes in us, our whole evolutionary path.

Perhaps I've tapped into that.

For God's sake, all I'm saying is I want to get back to that tank and repeat the

experiment. The most elementary laboratory behavior, repeat the

Confirm it!

I would like other responsible scientists with me when I do it. I would

little consensual validation on this.

We may have demonstrated a whole new force in nature.

For God's sake, don't you agree it merits further investigation?

I've got all the tapes, notes and everything at my place. What time would

like to come over and look at this stuff tomorrow?

2, 2 .30?

I just want to get the girls. I'll be right back.

So get washed and changed right now, and I don't want any trouble from either of

you tonight. Do you understand?

Hello?

Oh, Mason.

Thank you for calling.

I assume you've spoken to Arthur?

No, no, I just got back from dinner with the kids.

Well, I just don't know what to say. I think you're absolutely right. I think

he's on the verge of a breakdown.

He was here all afternoon. He carried on like a madman and then just

disappeared.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't be this panicky, but I just am very worried.

It's an animal. It's in the basement.

What kind of animal?

Monkey, I think.

I think there's some kind of animal loose down here at B Building Basement.

I'm heading into a north corridor that leads to the boiler rooms. You guys come

down the other way.

Now watch your step. It's a pretty good -sized ape.

Call the animal rooms and find out what the hell he's doing down here.

Must be in here somewhere.

I'm going to take a look up here.

What were you doing in the tank room?

I remember large fragments of what happened, but not all of it.

You'll have to be patient with me.

I've had Mason looking all over Boston for you all night.

It's okay. I'm all right.

I was getting a call at 2 .30 in the morning from the police.

To the effect your husband had been found sleeping naked in the city zoo

have caused you some concern.

Yes, I think you could say that. Mason's been writing me this whole time telling

you I'm having a nervous breakdown and you figured I'd finally flipped out

altogether.

I'm sorry, Emily. Forgive me.

I know what a harrowing day I've caused you. I suppose you've been sitting here

all this time trying to figure out how to get me to a psychiatrist.

As a matter of fact, I have.

I don't know how you've put up with me all these years.

I loved you.

My God, Emily, I don't know how to tell you this. I really don't.

The implications are staggering.

Apparently, I entered a very primitive consciousness, and all I can remember is

what was comprehensible to that consciousness. I don't remember, at

clearly, how I got out of the tank room.

First thing I remember are the dogs.

I followed a pack of wild dogs to the zoo. That's how I got there.

In the zoo, I hunted down, killed, and ate a small sheep.

I was utterly primal. I consisted of nothing more than the will to survive,

live through the night, to eat, to drink,

to sleep.

It was the most supremely satisfying time of my life.

I may have killed a man tonight.

I remember... beating on a...

Man,

you don't know the trouble I had. When he closed, I had to go down to the

security office.

They want you to call the security office right now.

There's some kind of ape loose in your isolation tank room tonight. Do you know

anything about that? This ape almost killed a security guard.

You didn't bring some ape down that tank room tonight, did you?

You're watching yourself in your jacket pocket. You all right?

Is he all right?

Tell Mason what you've been telling me.

I want to hear Mason's views on all this.

I think Mason's views will be predictable.

My God, there it is.

A proto -human, the first, and the original, truly human form.

Tiny, perhaps four feet high, completely furred, chimp -like, but erect, no

-knuckle -walking, shorter arms, moving along so gracefully.

There's two, three of them.

Pipetal tiny...

Sounded like he was having a bad trip to me.

Some of these type trips can get pretty creepy.

Did I wake you?

It's Emily.

Eddie, I'm in a kind of wild panic. I need to talk to you.

I don't know how even to put this into words, but I'm beginning to think that

what happened to you last Friday night was not just a hallucinatory experience.

I've got this...

I've got a feeling that something phenomenological did actually happen,

there was some kind of genetic transformation.

I don't know why I think this in defiance of all rationality, but I do.

that I do, I'm terrified.

I mean, really terrified, petrified. So am I.

I don't want you doing this experiment again next week. You have to find out if

it actually happened. I'm asking you to put the experiment off until we

understand a little more in order to minimize the risk. There is no way you

understand this before the event. You have to work back from the event itself.

But you may be causing yourself irreversible genetic damage. I don't

dealing with genetics. We're beyond math.

matter here beyond even energy what we're back to is the first thought i'm

trying to tell you i love you i know that and i'm trying to tell you this is

all bits are off sort of thing we may be opening a black box that may scrap our

whole picture of space time we might even have a link to another universe i

think emily you're fine that you must know how i feel yeah i know how you

feel

It's very late, Eddie. Would you like to stay here all night?

I could do with a little love and a little reassurance right now.

You'll stay, won't you?

If I come out of that tank interpored, I'll be in a very primitive state and

impossible to relate to. So sedate me while I'm still in the tank.

Otherwise, you'll have to chase me around and subdue me. Okay.

I'll tell you one thing. You come out of that tank looking like an ape, and I'm

going over to Mass Mental and commit myself.

If it happens, we'll bring him down as the big bolus of Amiddle. What do you

mean, if it happens? If it happens. Everybody can think, if it happens.

Do you think something's going to happen, Arthur? Because if you do, I'd

know.

I'm sorry. I'm just nervous as hell.

Listen, so am I.

Anything happen?

I just checked him ten minutes ago.

Did you order chicken or turkey?

I know you ordered turkey. I hope chicken's all right. Look, I've got

That's more than two hours now. I think we should stop this.

I'll tell you frankly, I'm really frightened. We could be screwing around

this whole genetic structure. Now, how do we stop this?

You bring him down, Arthur? He's going to be sore as hell. We should never let

him do it. I don't know how we let him talk us into this in the first place. We

were humoring him, but we know he's not crazy.

And we all know deep in our hearts that he may be on to something that is beyond

our own comprehension. Now, because I believe him, I want this thing stopped.

These signs are all good. He'll probably sleep a day or two. He might have a

little stupor if he's got a whopping load of drugs in him. It's not an

intolerable psychedelic experience like this to watch out for a couple of days.

You would hardly call this a psychedelic experience. His heart is good. His

pressure is good. I'm more worried about you than I am about him.

I'm all right.

Of all the goddamn men in this world, why do I have to love this one?

I can't get him out of me.

Do you know how many men I tried to fall in love with this past year? But it

won't work no matter who I'm in bed with. I have to imagine it's him and

happens no matter who I'm eating with or walking with. There's always this pain

because it isn't him.

I'm possessed by him.

It's crazy.

I think that's the way it's supposed to be.

He doesn't give a damn about me. Emily, you're the only thing he cares about.

No, Nathan!

Nothing in the human condition was ever real to him. He's a truth lover.

Reality to Eddie is only that which is changeless, immutably constant.

What happened to Eddie tonight? That was Eddie's idea of love.

That was consternation.

He finally got it off with God. He finally embraced the absolute. He was

ravished by truth, and God down here destroyed him.

All right now you're going into shock I'm gonna get you something

We

reached a point tonight where physical science just breaks down we're in blue

skies

Tonight with history, and what are we going to do about it?

I'm going to do nothing about it.

Tonight scared the hell out of me. That tank just blew up.

Whatever happened inside that tank released a hell of a lot of energy.

For God's sake, let's drop this goddamn thing.

I don't want to talk about it. I can't help it. You may want to go to sleep

right now, but the way I feel, I don't expect to go to sleep for a year. I'm on

fucking fire.

I am in there mopping up the goddamn tank room, and I would like to know why.

Do you believe in supernatural agencies, Mason?

No, sir, I do not.

Then what we saw tonight was a physical phenomenon, an inexplicable physical

phenomenon. If it's phenomenological, then it's explicable. I've got to know

why. Let me talk. For Christ's sake, I haven't been there mopping up that

goddamn tank room for the last three hours. I can tell you what I would like

do. We have got to repeat this with other human subjects.

We need a selective sample. We will put up a notice in the Student Union for

Volunteers, something like that, and get five or six subjects.

We'll go back to square one with them and step up the doses of the drug in a

graduated fashion and shake them against steady values.

Oh, I'm just whipping you. I'm going to have to get your power.

That's a big moral sign. And here you are. I'm going to use an untested drug.

I'm going to shut it in here one day. Tell me.

Would you like to go back to sleep?

Yes.

Would you mind if Mason had a quick look at you first?

It's a good idea.

Maybe you ought to have a quick look at him, Mason.

Oh, I hope it isn't the kids.

Hello?

Everything's fine, Arthur. It's fine.

It's Arthur. Are you fine?

Yes.

Arthur, I'll call you back when I'm more awake. Everything's fine.

God, I wonder what time it is.

I should call the kids.

how much you mean to me.

How much I need you and the kids. I just wanted you to know that.

You saved me. You redeemed me from the pit I was in it, Emily.

I was in that ultimate moment of terror that is the beginning of life.

It is nothing.

Simple, hideous nothing.

The final truth of all things is that there is no final truth.

Truth is what's transitory.

It's human life that is real. I don't want to frighten you, Emily, but what

trying to tell you is that that moment of terror is a real and living horror,

living and growing within me now.

And the only thing that keeps it from devouring me is you.

Why don't you just come back to us?

It's too late.

I don't think I can get out of it anymore.

I can't live with it. The pain is too great.

Defy it, Eddie.

You made it real. You can make it unreal.

If you love me, Eddie. If you love me, Eddie!

Defy it!