All language subtitles for The Cat and the Canary 1978-en

Come on, kitty. Meow-Meow!

Come on, kitty. This way.

Come on, come here!

Be careful, don't fall.

Come on, let's go home.

Meow-Meow!

Come here! Come along!

Where are you?

Good evening, Mrs Crosby.
You're the first to arrive.

Well.
Everything has been kept...

according to your instructions.

You've kept the place
immaculate Mrs. Pleasant.

Well...

Mrs Pleasant,
I can't say you've missed much.

Between the Bolsheviks on one side

and the democrats on the other,
the world has become unrecognizable.

Mr West is safe.

Just as you left him.

The disintegration should be minimal.

It will be strange to, er... see him again,

listen to him again.

Shall we go?

Has the temperature been maintained?

Well yes...

Are you sure?
Yes.

And the padlocks have
never been opened.

Since you closed them.
That was a long time ago.

And yet, in a way, not so long.

20 years.

Tonight.

It's a strange feeling, Mrs Pleasant,

to find oneself opening something

one closed 20 years ago.

Almost to the hour.

Happy anniversary, Mr West.

Welcome to 1934.

Well, Mrs Pleasant,
I don't seem to recall...

being informed about a moth,

that has reached its maturity?

But I can't think how it happened.
I haven't got a key.

Quite.

Well Mrs Pleasant.

I will investigate the local moth colony

and find out who they sent over.

It's the spirit!

Open the door!

I've been pounding on it for 10 minutes!

Just a moment.

Just another small moment, please..

I think your guests are
beginning to arrive.

Most anxiously.

Good evening, Mrs. Crosby!
Good evening, Harry.

I'm sorry about the broken glass but...

Oh, thanks, I will.

I seem to recall that breaking things
was something that you know a lot about.

We're flashing the sabres
early tonight, aren't we?

Flashing sabres? That's a
subject you also know a lot about.

You're full of charm this
evening Mrs Crosby.

Did you come by the train?

No, I drove.

But the train is in.

I just managed to beat
it to the crossroads.

You've got a perfect night
for the reading of a will.

Am I the first?

How many besides myself?
I don't know.

Five were notified, five definitely live.

I know two and that's one too many.

Tell me Mrs Crosby why
do relatives have to be...?

Named Charlie Wilder.

Cheers.

Good evening.

It's exactly as I thought it would be.

May I take your coat?

Why do you dislike Charlie so much?

Really? In the second place,
he's my cousin

and I don't like war heroes.

In the third place, I think he's a queer,

In the fourth place, I know he's a gigolo.

In the first place...
Because she is very fond of him.

Score two for the will reader.

I'm not going to read the will tonight.

No? Who is?

Cyrus West.

There's an auctioneer in Swiss Cottage,

he could turn the place over
for at least four million, cash.

Cicily, let's not get
mawkishly sentimental.

I'll just die if it's me.

Wouldn't you just die if it was me?

Not if I'm next in line.

Well, I suppose you can make do
with anything if you have to.

Good evening, Miss Sillsby.
Good evening, Mrs. Crosby.

May I introduce Dr Blythe.

How do you do? Delighted.

Susan Sillsby, the noted sportswoman

and Cicily Young.
Who is noted.

That's done.

I'll have a drink.

It's too early for you.
She never drinks before sunup.

You both came up from London?

We came up together,
we're roommates.

You're cousins!

Yes, cousins and roommates.

Oh, but it won't be a problem.
We're not planning to have children.

Where do you practice, doctor?

I used to practice in London,
Beverly Hills and Geneva.

Oh, the change-of-life circuit.

I know who you are!

You're the one who opens
the will before hand...

and changes the heir's name,
so that you wind up with everything.

Miss Young...

I'm so happy that you're free...

to join us this evening.

Hi clowns.

Charles Howard Wilder!

Good evening.
Hello.

Drinks for my family,
for tonight we ride.

Charlie Wilder, we're cousins.

I got this cape from an out-of-work magician
in exchange for some flying lessons.

Would you do me a favour?
Anything.

Would you take me for a ride sometime?
If I went in a plane with Charlie Wilder

I'd just die, I know it.

Anytime my pretty.
Anytime, anything for a relative,

particularly one who may
be very rich in a few hours.

Maybe it'll be you.
I hope so, it would be fair though,

I don't remember the old man.

Harry, sorry you could make it.

Even you can have one glass.

Everybody should have at least one glass,
no matter what they may have done.

Careful, you might get
this right in your face.

It wouldn't be the first time, old boy.

Even one for you, Gertrude Stein.

A glass is a glass is a glass.

Why don't you two make up
and shake hands?

I never thought I'd do
that without gloves.

Aren't you wearing gloves?

Is it true once in the movies that
you doubled for Buddy Rogers?

No, it was Ben Lyon.

Haven't you always been a double?

No, during the war I
was one of the leads.

Oh, really, General?

Didn't I see your face on something
to do with clean teeth?

Be careful, Mr Wilder.

In the process of keeping track

of the family over the years,

I've managed to...
acquire some interesting souvenirs.

Well, 1932 wasn't a very
good year for dogfights.

I've only died 17 times.

Really?

A perfect night for the reading of a will.

Who are you?

This must be Mr. Paul Jones.

Nice to see you, relative.

Why thank you.
You're Charlie Wilder, the flyer!

That's true.

I knew a guy who
wrote a song about you.

Charlie Wilder,
The highest flyer of them all!

I'm a songwriter too.

Well then, you must tell me
about your exploits some time.

You're American aren't you?
Yes, I had to be in London anyway.

Well you might've come a long way
for nothing if your not the heir.

Or an awfully short way if he is. Hello
Paul Jones, I'm strange cousin Susan.

Are we all here?
No, one still expected.

Who?

Annabelle!

Present!

Hello, everybody. Sorry I'm late.

Hello, darling! Mwah! Nice to see you.

Hello, Harry, it's really nice
to see you again.

Hello, Charlie!

Oh, excuse me.

We've all been getting reacquainted.

This is Miss Sillsby, Miss Young,
Miss Annabelle West.

The others I think you know.
Yes.

Excuse me.

Annabelle West, I'm Cicily.

Hello, cousin. Welcome to Elsinore.

Oh! Hello! Hello, Paul.

It's really nice to see you again.
Long time no see, as they say.

Hello.

You're Aunt Emma's boy, right?

As we are all assembled,
I should like to begin.

Will you please sit down.

There's...

something wrong.

What?

The clock…
What about it?

It hadn't struck... for 20 years!

Maybe it's not in the union.

It struck...

seven times.

And there are...
eight people in the house.

Some of you…

may not live.

Are you sure, Mrs. Pleasant?

The spirit...

is never wrong.

No, I mean are you quite sure
that there are only...

eight people in this house?

On the 27th of September, 1914,
Cyrus Canby West died

in this house.

20 years ago tonight.

I was instructed to assemble all

of his surviving
relatives here in this room

at midnight on
September 27th 1934.

When do we find out
who the lucky one is?

Very soon now.

However, don't you think
that all of you in this room...

have been very lucky over the years?

Let's hear it for the West family!

At least we have a
celebrity in the family.

An almost-celebrity.

Aren't you, Miss Sillsby... well-known

for the many, many hunting
trophies you've won...

as well as sharing the world
record for the Bengal tiger.

She certainly is.

And you, Miss Young.

Yes, Miss Young,

are famous for shooting
another kind of game.

Pity it wasn't Charlie.

Harry, you were
well-known and successful.

Very successful with juries.

How long did it take them acquit you,
an hour and a half?

Listen stuntman this isn't Hollywood,
I'll put you up against that wall and...!

Please, please,

Harry.

In spite of that unfortunate incident,

your career has been...

Peddling fifth-rate pharmaceuticals.

I told you to shut up!

Stop it!
I think I'm next.

Yes, Miss West...

Ah, I see from this newspaper article

that you are rapidly becoming

one of the most popular
fashion designers in London,

an accomplishment that would be
envied by someone twice your age.

Now Cyrus West was

no ordinary man.

In his lifetime he
amassed a vast fortune

and in his retirement he
used his energies

to protect that fortune

from what he thought were...

avaricious and dangerous relatives.

He certainly did a good
job with the necklace.

What necklace?

The famous West necklace.

It's worth over half a million pounds,

if you could get the diamonds today.

Where is it?

That's just it. Nobody knows.

It was during what was unfortunately

the last year of his life
that Mr West had himself...

secretly photographed
on moving picture film.

What? At the same time making
synchronised sound recording.

Oh, no. Is this some kind of joke?

Hardly.

Did they even have sound then?

Didn't you double for Buddy Rogers?

It was Ben Lyon.

A very primitive form of sound recording
which had been developed at that time.

We certainly come
from forward-thinking stock.

He was putting on airs.

The difficulty was, to preserve that film

from disintegration during the 20 years

and that task I allotted to Mr West's

and faithful housekeeper, Mrs Pleasant.

How do we know that she didn't peek?

The integrity of Mrs Pleasant
is beyond question

and anyway, it would have been impossible!

Would you bet your fortune on it?

My fortune is not at issue tonight.

There were two films made

the first contains
Mr West reading his will

and identifying his beneficiary.

The second film is not to be run tonight

and must, in fact, be destroyed

exactly 12 hours from now.

Unless…

Unless what?

Unless the designated heir dies

or is judged...

What?

Judged to be insane.

Good God. What the hell
is that supposed to mean?

The second film contains the identity

of the heir who is next in line.

This is a licence for someone to kill.
What?

The second heir would
ceratinly want to kill the first.

But no one knows the
identity of the second heir.

Except…

The moth.

I would like to invite you all

to a little supper on behalf of our host...

Cyrus West.

Are we going to see
one of Charlie's films?

I hope not, for your sakes.

Miss West.

I think we'll find that this film

is more in the private
collectors category.

I hope it's as good as the one last Friday.

A film that could only have been made

by such a man as Cyrus West.

How do we know there are
no copies of the film?

I supervised the destruction
of the negative myself.

Then just tell us who is the heir.

Ha, I can't.
Why?

I've never see the film. No one has.

In fact, Mrs Pleasant and I
are the only two people left alive

who were involved with making the film.

Old man West was the one insane.

He was peculiar.
He's a lunatic.

An eccentric.

Oh come on, you must admit this
scheme makes him a little crazy.

He was a little ahead of his time.

I will say he was unique.

He was a yo-yo.

An independent thinker
A rich thinker.

That's what made him independent.

Good evening, leeches.
Take your places.

As you know, I am Cyrus West.

First of all let me tell you that
you're all a bunch of bastards.

Oh I know, I know the
people you came from.

They're all a bunch of bastards.
Yes, your fathers, your mothers,

your uncles, your aunts,
your nephews, your nieces,

your sons, your daughters, not
to mention a cartload of cousins.

All a bunch of bastards.
Except of course...

Mew-Mew and perhaps
one or two others.

Perhaps I'm the biggest
bastard of you all,

to bring you here this night
so distant in the future

and to sit here contemplating
the interaction of you parasites.

Now, I've asked Mrs Pleasant...

who promised me she wouldn't die

as I've been foolish enough to do,

to prepare for you the same supper

she's preparing for me this evening

Ah, the wine!

Thank you.

A trifle fresh perhaps

but you should have it at more
or less the perfect moment.

Cheers!

I have it fresh, you have it mature.

It's my guess that I'm mature
and it's you who are fresh.

Fresh bastards.

Oh, begin, please, begin.

The foie gras, if you can still get it,
comes from Perigord near Lot.

Some men seek immortality.

That's a mistake, an eternal mistake.

How many of the great
Pharaohs do we really know?

None!

These people were too greedy,
they asked for too much.

To be remembered forever
really, what conceit.

I don't want to be remembered forever.

My great pleasure at the
moment is to sit here

and know, that I'll be spending
an evening with you

20 years from the night

that I pass on
to where I am now.

Except that I am with
you at this moment,

physically and emotionally...

in a sense.

For instance...

Ha! Didn't that hurt your ears?

Of course I'm with you.

I'm spending an evening
with all my living relatives.

Thank you.

I made the guest list,

I lead the conversation,

I tell the amusing stories.

I set the menu

I still command my family.

It's a comfort to know we all have
the same blood flowing in our veins.

Now, this is Bombay chicken.

Oh, I've asked for some extra curry
to be placed on the table,

she never puts enough in.

Take a moment to do it.

Go ahead, go ahead.

I think this chicken died in 1914.

Maybe they kept it with the film.

Harry, let's make a pact.
If it's either of us we'll split it.

Right.
That's not a bad idea actually.

What about it? 50-50?

No good. I'd lose out anyway.

Why?

Nobody would declare me sane.
I'd bet on it.

I had to be mad to
be born into this family.

I wasn't mad when I came here,
but assume it's gonna be soon.

Tell us some war stories General,
that'll calm your nerves.

Thank you, Captain Bligh.

Now...

The science of the
transmission of the

hereditary physical and
mental characteristics...

is called genetics.

Genetically speaking I feel as if

I was looking straight into the eyes
of each and every one of you,

as indeed you are looking into my eyes.

I might say, dear relatives...

Dear survivors.
That's a good name for you.

that I am, as I was before
20 years ago tonight,

on the very tips of my
relatives tongues.

Isn't he going to run out of film?
Shh!

Before you get too impatient,
and I know my family well,

let me complete my introductory remarks

by assuring you
that I'll be in your hearts

for the entire evening because

I know something you don't.

Returning to genetics for a moment.

If there are more than three of you
present, and I don't envisage fewer,

then the mathematical
probability of one or more

you being mentally unbalanced

is I must tell you, not in your favor.

Coffee?

Thank you. On the table,

is cream and sugar.

Help yourselves.

Try and keep away from
the sugar, it'll kill you.

Remember: cream first...

coffee after.

Now, if Allison Crosby is still alive

and hasn't dropped dead from overwork,

she's probably told you that

she's had my money
invested for 20 years.

If she hasn't told you,
then her representative,

who's probably another bastard,

possibly has told you

that if my heir is not judged sane

then the next in line
will be named in another film.

I Cyrus Canby West,
being of sound mind

and body, do hereby declare,

as the sole heir to all my money,

bonds, securities, estates,

real and otherwise,

my descendant, man or woman,

who bears the surname of West.

Congratulations.

Oh, you lucky devil!

Congratulations.

That's great.

Congratulations.
Thank you, Cicily.

My astrologer guaranteed I'd get it,
I'll kill the bitch!

Dinner's on you!

Quiet, please, quiet.

Thank you.

There's an excellent Cognac
which, by now,

should be even more excellent,
having waited for you.

Well, no necklace.

There's one more thing, just one.

The West necklace.

You didn't think I'd
forgotten, did you?

But that's not for all of you to hear.

I'm sorry, dear family,
it's not for all of you

I would like to have a word

with my heir or heirs alone.

Will the others please excuse us?

All of you. You have 20 seconds.

Everyone, please, except Miss West.

I'll be seeing you.

As for the necklace,
you've heard of it, I'm sure.

Well, it's here. It's here for you.

Where? Ok.

I wrote the answer to that
question on something

which has been waiting
to take a breath for 20 years.

At last.

Thank you, Cyrus.

Well done! What a girl!

Congratulations, my dear,

I must speak with you.

Do you need a companion?

Don't say things like that,
even in jest!

I think it's wonderful, I know
you'll use the money really well.

Thank you, you are kind.

If you get something terminal,

remember I was a good loser.

Choose well in life, my dear.

I chose my career

over my marriage.

I never regretted it and
I hope you choose as wisely.

I think it's great. I'd have
lost it all in a month anyway.

Hey, why so glum?

Me glum?

I don't see why I should be glum.

I've just had dinner with a man
who's been dead for 20 years.

I'm in a house in the middle of
nowhere without a telephone,

there's a hurricane blowing,
and I think Mrs Pleasant thinks

there ghosts in the house. And
we're all in some kind of danger.

What's more, turns out
there's insanity in the family

and there could be a full fledged
paid-up lunatic in the next bed.

I don't know why I should be glum.

Don't worry, it'll all work out.

Yeah? Where there's
a will there's a way.

I wish I could get the hell out of here.

You must all stay the night, Harry.

In case we have occasion to
hear the second part of the will.

Think what fun we could've had
swinging on the chandeliers.

Lucky I used to do this for a living.
That's your room on the right.

Thank you, very much.
Would you take...

Hmm, my favourite period.
Early Devil's Island.

He really was a bastard.
They should give the losers something.

Maybe we're not losers...

...quite yet.

Temper, temper.
That's no way to fly a plane, Colonel.

Listen!

Lay off that gigolo routine.

Why, too close to the bone?

You always get too close to
the bone, you damned killer!

You're lucky you're not inside.

I didn't kill anyone.
It was an accident! Of course.

Let's go! The alcohol is for the

for patients, not doctors!

Hm, modest little dwelling.

What's the commotion?

It sounds as if Tom Sawyer
and Huckleberry Finn are at it again.

I'll go down, you change.

Not at all, what's a poor relation for?

What the hell...?

Oh, forgive me.

Please.

If I had shot you,
I would've felt terrible

My name is Hendricks.

I am the chief psychologist
at the Fairview Sanitarium.

What's that?

An asylum for the criminally insane,
just up the road.

That's convenient!

Mr. Hendricks...
Uh-huh

Do please come in,
take off your wet things.

Thank you, I'd like to have
a word with everybody, please.

I hope you will forgive my rather
unconventional use of your window.

You saved his life.

He saved your neck, you mean.

Oh, time, fellas, time.

I was afraid for the safety of all of you.

What?

What do you mean by that,
Mr Hendricks?

I'm sorry to report that one of our patients
from the sanitarium has escaped.

I knew, I felt something.

Is he dangerous?

Extremely. A complete maniac.

He'll feel at home at this house.

And homicidal.

He's a real killer.

Have you seen anyone around
here since seven o'clock?

That's about the time we arrived.

That explains what I felt.

Oh, what do you mean?

Actually, we've all been a little tense.

What makes you think he's here?
I didn't say he was here.

I'm looking at all the houses
in the general area.

Have you some reason to imagine
that he's... close to here?

Or in this house?

Well, he always tries
to get into a house

whenever he escapes.

He's escaped before?
Yes, I'm afraid so.

What do you use there,
the honor system?

His method is to get
into a house and hide.

Waits until everyone's gone to bed.

What does he look like?

Well, when he got out he was wearing
a long coat and a black slouch hat.

He's not a young man, very little hair,

sharp teeth and fingernails like...

claws.

I think I took his
daughter out once.

He believes that he's a cat.

A cat?
Nobody believes he's a cat.

Nobody in his right mind.
Is his last name West by any chance?

I can assure you
that he is not in his right mind,

and indeed believes himself a cat.
Is this some kind of a joke?

Oh no.

In fact, he kills his victims
by slowly ripping them apart

That's enough. It's been a stimulating...

That could be most unwise move.

I'm asking everyone in the area
to lock themselves in until morning.

That's ridiculous.

I don't think you've much choice.

And how should we
apprehend this homicidal animal?

Do you have an extra weapon?

No. Weapons can be
as dangerous as maniacs.

And anyway I hope to get him alive.

Why? As long as you get him.

Well, I've been studying him.
There's a seminar this spring

and I was rather hoping
to give a paper on his behaviour.

Everybody lie down!

Don't anybody move.

Cicily!

Thank God it's you.

You nearly got shot.

Some cat...

This is Mr. Hendricks.

Who's bringing important news
to everyone in the area.

What?
I'm not here to alarm you.

Certainly not! There's
absolutely no cause for alarm.

It's just a homicidal maniac
who thinks he's a cat got loose.

He's not dangerous, he just tears
his friends apart, that's all.

But don't get upset ha!
They strap him down in a rubber room

and a few times a year he gets out.

Nothing serious.

They have a collection of
incompetents over there.

And this is the chief of incompetent,

who should be investigated by
the State Board of Medical Enquiry.

Allowing a homicidal maniac to
escape is criminal negligence.

A killer is on the loose
and you're responsible.

There are many killers loose.

Very often it is not clear

precisely who is responsible.

Mr Hendricks, I'm sure you'd like
to know who you are speaking to.

I am Allison Crosby,
the West family lawyer,

this is... Harry Blythe.

Good evening.
How do you do?

How do you know so much about
the State Board of Medical Enquiry?

I used to practice medicine.

Ah, which branch of medicine
di you used to practice?

Surgery.
Surgery?

That's interesting.

Surgery…

Hmm, very interesting.

My patient cuts with his hands
or whatever he can find.

You cut with a scalpel.

The results are very different to be sure,

but who is to say that
the urge is not the same?

Your man has an
uncontrollable aggressivity.

Unlike you when we met in the hall?

Why'd you stop operating?

He went into somebody's brain
and ripped them apart like your cat,

only did it on an operating table.
Shut up!

This is Charlie Wilder,
of whom I'm sure you've heard.

Ah, the famous hero.
Glad to know you.

Tell them how many brains

you got into with your bombs.

I lost an older
brother in the war.

I believe we all owe Mr Wilder
some measure of gratitude

for what he accomplished for us all.

Ha!

But But wasn't it Bertrand
Russell who asked,

"What is a killer but a
hero out of uniform?"

Do you want any help?

He thinks there's a reward.

Thank you, no.

There are several of us out
and the weather's on our side.

What's on our side, Mr Hendricks?

My entire staff, to whom

I've issued orders to shoot on sight.

Oh.
I hope it's not necessary.

What else can you do
with a wounded animal?

You're Susan Sillsby, aren't you?

A classmate of mine almost broke

your record in Kenya last summer.

He always admired your courage.

He wouldn't be very pleased
with me tonight.

Anyway, I'm not a killer.
I'm a sportswoman.

That's not what the tigers say.

Oh but my dear sir. I must tell
you that I've never agreed

with those who couldn't
see the difference.

This is Miss Cicily Young.
How do you do?

Are you going to stay
with us all night?

I wish I could

but there's a lot of ground
to cover, so to speak.

Miss Young, do forgive me,

but a colleague of mine testified

in a fascinating case in London

involving...
It was kill or be killed, Dr Freud.

What?
What are you talking about?

I don't mind, Susan.

I was the girl who was dancing
at the Cosy Club in London

who the manager doped
and tried to attack in his office.

Having no other course of
action open to me to prevent him

from accomplishing his
unspeakable intentions,

and seeing his gun on the desk,
I gave it to him.

Right in the face.

Self-preservation's
the first rule, certainly.

Er... how many times?

Six.

As I recall, the condition
of the body was...

somewhat mutilated when they found it.

After the shots I fainted.
I never remembered anything after that.

Understandable, certainly.

What about Mr Paul Jones?

He's a songwriter from the United States.

How do you do?
Fine, thank you.

Well, very often we know a
man by his creative efforts.

What's your latest work?

A love song, it's called, erm...

You Scratch My Back,
And I'll Scratch... Yours.

Hm-mm?
Before you start, let me tell you

I, er... I used to put red ants
in with black ants.

Oh, yes, once I killed a skunk
on the Taconic State Parkway

but, if, erm... your cat decides
to show up, don't count on me

because it was a long time ago

and I've hung up my guns for good.

Oh yes, I can count
on you, Mr. Jones.

From what I hear on the radio,
songwriters are the worst killers in society.

What about Mrs Allison Crosby?

Mrs. Crosby...

You are a lawyer.

And all lawyers are sharks.

And sharks are the worst killers

and the most bloodthirsty
creatures in nature.

I really shouldn't stay any longer.

Would you mind
getting my coat for me, please?

What do we do if the cat gets in?

He can have our room.

I hope he's paper-trained.
We'll hang on to him.

Just pray he doesn't hang on to you.

Twice this year I've had to shoot him.

What?

Once here...

And once... here.

That seems a little excessive.

Regardless, the last time

he was captured,

he succeeded in
getting his hands on

me.

It took three good men to get him off.

You will take my advice and avoid
socialising with him at all costs.

Whatever you say.

There's a good chance,

he's looking to get in out of the weather,
if he hasn't already.

So I must ask each one of you again

not to go out before morning

and be sure to lock all
outside windows and doors.

If we get him I'll let you know.

Thank you.

So we're prisoners here?

Well, I'd prefer to think that
he is the prisoner out there.

Would you please tell anyone else
in the house about the situation?

Ladies and gentlemen, whatever
the purpose of your gathering,

I hope this won't prove too
much of a... disturbing element.

I wish you all a good night.

Remember...

as Bismarck said,

"A little caution outflanks
a large cavalry."

Good night.

Now, check all the doors and
windows.

Let's begin with the basement.

You must mean the basement that doesn't
have any lights because of the storm.

yeah that's right.
I thought so.

Please!

I think it would be wise,

if nothing of this was
mentioned to Miss West.

If she asks anything just say

we're looking round her beautiful house.

Do you agree?

Certainly.
Of course.

Come in!

Just wanted to see if you were ok.

Sure, I'm fine.

Everyone's looking round your
beautiful house I think I will too.

Talk to you later.
Ok.

Just wanted to see
if everything was all right.

Everything is fine.

You're not nervous, are you?

No!
Good.

I think I'll er... look around
your beautiful house.

I'll see you later.

Er... I want to talk to you.

Ok.

Just wanted to see if you were all right.
Thanks, Susan. What's happening?

Nothing!

Nothing. You look a little upset.

I'm fine.

There's so much to admire
in your beautiful house,

I'll look around. See you later.

Oh, just one thing.

We just heard there's a
maniac loose in the area.

He thinks he's a cat.
He may even be inside the house.

A cat?

Yes, a cat.

K-A-T

See you later.

It's chilly here.

You know it's bad luck for an heiress
to catch a cold on her first night?

Like brides.

I never heard of that.

Oh sure, they take
half your money away.

It's a local ordinance, maybe
that's why you never heard of it.

You're very sweet to
be so concerned.

What kind of a fortune hunter would
I be if I didn't look into these things?

Paul...

I don't catch colds easily

and I'm not allergic to cats.

Susan?

I'll never tell.

Well, it's nice to know
who your relatives are.

I'm sure she exaggerated.

Well, I wouldn't worry
about one cat outside.

No? It's the wolves
inside I'd be scared of.

Oh! Harry and Charlie?

They're harmless and I
do think that they're sincere.

No one is more sincere
than a greedy cousin.

That's Paul Jones's theory of relativity.

Hmm.
Anyway, you have to be careful now.

Don't get involved with people like...
Like you?

No, you don't have to worry about me.
I admit I'm after your money.

Paul...

Please be careful.

Don't not fear.
Tonight the mouse will outfox the cat.

Oh, Charles!

Well, did you find anything?
What?

Susan spilled it.

The idiot. There's nothing to worry about.

I know. Where have you been?

Checking windows,
Have you finished?

No, I have to get started. I'll see y'all.

If this is a play I hope I don't

have the role of first body discovered.

I've had an altercation with Dr Jekyll.

Got anything for a out lip?
Yes, come on.

You once doubled
for Buddy Rogers?

No, it was Ben Lyon.

I bet everybody tells you that.

No, hardly ever.

I bet you didn't get
this service in France.

I had better.

Oh, thanks a lot.

You smell nicer than any medic.

Oh, you seem to know a lot about people
who smell nicer than medics.

Annabelle, what happened?

I mean, what happened?

Everyone keeps asking for you,
I don't know what to say.

Stop that.

I can't help it.

Be brave, my centurion.

Where would I hide if I were

an escaped homicidal maniac
who thinks he's a cat?

Good thing

I told you I loved you
before you were rich.

I don't care about money,
in spite of what they say.

Tell me, why was I grounded?

Charlie, be original.

Yeah, you're right.

I've said that too many times.

I've said everything too many times,
I'm the original carbon copy.

Except nothing is original.
Really?

Except when I was with you.
You're the one I was truly original with.

I really liked you, you know.

But I have to tell you,
you are moody sometimes

and I don't particularly like sharing
things with the girls I know.

You haven't heard my version.

Thank God!
The one I heard was bad enough.

But that's over, Charlie.

Look, Charlie, this has been
a wonderful night for me,

in spite of strange people wandering about,

so please, please try to get on with Harry.

Does he mean that much to you?

Everybody means something to me -
even you.

Don't joke with me, I'm serious.

Like it or not, Charlie
Wilder doesn't give up.

You'll come back to me, I know it.

And if I don't?

And if you don't, well...

I can always say I once held a real,
live heiress in the palm of my hand.

You are sweet.

Not even that's original,
I just saw it in The Scarlet Pimpernel.

Annabelle, I'm hopeless. Save me, please.

Who is it?

Miss Annabelle, Mrs Crosby

would like to see you in the library.

I've got to go.

It looks like it's going to be you and me.

And stay out.

Oh... thank you for coming.

What are you looking for?

I'm looking for the
old family photo album.

Oh? Miss West?

I take it that you are aware

that what passes between
a client and his lawyer

is privileged information?

Of course.

Good. Well, I was close to Mr West.

So naturally I gained facts

about his fortune and his family.

But now I feel it my duty

in the light of recent events,

and particularly in
view of the fact that...

well, a life may possibly be in danger

I feel it my duty to
suspend normal terms...

Five, six...

It only chimed six times, Mrs Crosby.

Does it mean that"?

Mrs. Crosby?

Oh... Mrs Pleasant,
did you see Mrs Crosby leave?

No, I didn't.

What happened?
She's disappeared.

Can you blame her?
She didn't pass you in the hall?

Annabelle, was that you screaming?

Are you all right?

What happened?

When did you miss her?

A minute ago. She was mid-sentence.

Where were you?
Here!

She was standing there saying
she had something important to tell me.

For my own safety, I think.

Something about danger all around you?

Yes, something like that.

There were people out to harm you?

Yes.

Are you sure?
Charlie, you remember,

she wanted to see me.
Did you find her?

Of course, she was right over there.

And I was here and I saw a cat.

A cat? Yes, I was holding the cat
when the clock started to chime.

What clock?

Well, I... I don't know.

The clock started chiming,
I turned to talk to...

To who?

To Mrs Crosby. Who do
you think I was talking to?

You heard me, Mrs Pleasant, didn't you?

You heard me, Mrs Pleasant, didn't you?

You didn't see her leave?
She didn't leave!

Then where is she?

You won't find Allison Crosby.

I don't see any cat.

What are you all looking at?

Are you trying to tell me
I've been hearing things?

Of course not.

I told you...

I was holding the cat,

a clock started to chime,
it only chimed six times,

which Mrs Pleasant said...

It's been a very exciting evening.

Perhaps you're overstimulated.

I'd hate to tell you some of things

I've thought I've seen in my time.

Are you telling me I've been seeing things?

No, are you crazy? I'm sorry.

Annabelle, nobody said
anything of the sort.

Yes, they did.

Who said that Annabelle could be crazy?

Cyrus West.

Well... if it was my imagination,

where is Mrs. Crosby?

Well... I expect she's somewhere
checking with Harry.

Where has Harry been?

I'm going to take Cicily
and lock us in our room.

Good idea, I'll go and find Harry.

I'll look in on you later.

Do you think I'm crazy?

Do you?

No, if I were crazy,
I'd be a much better designer.

We'll find Mrs. Crosby.

I think she and Mrs Pleasant have

something going on down in the basement.

You'll see I'm right.

As for the necklace,

you've heard of it, I'm sure.

Well, it's here. It's here for you.

Where?

I wrote the answer to that
on something

which has been waiting
to take a breath for 20 years.

Waiting to breathe?

Ice.

Who is it?

It's me, Harry.

Oh, come in.

Just wanted to see if you were ok.

I'm fine thanks, Harry.

Well, I'm still in one piece anyway.

Where have you been?

Around. Checking out the house.

Have you seen Mrs. Crosby?

No, but Charlie told me she was missing.

She disappeared right in front of you?

Nothing that spectacular.

But she did disappear, she did do that.

Annabelle, you've been
through a lot tonight.

First, the money, now I heard
Susan told you everything.

Not everything, just enough
for a small breakdown.

Please believe me, you have
nothing to fear while Harry is here.

I know that everyone is going to think
it's because you're the first heir but...

we meant a lot to each other.
At least you meant a lot to me.

I'd like to make us more permanent.

Harry, I... I do feel something for you.

Only something?

Well, you know how much I like you.

You know how much I like you.

Please, let me protect you.

I'd kill for you, you know that.

That temper of yours is one of the
reasons I stopped seeing you.

Oh, Annabelle...

Well, perhaps it'll come in handy tonight.

Do you know where Mrs Crosby is?
Oh, stop talking about Mrs Crosby for a minute.

I'm being serious with you.

It's not the moment, Harry.

I do appreciate what you're saying

but, er... let's talk about it later.

I need to relax for a while.

All right...

but you haven't heard the last of me.

Oh, Annabelle.

You're driving me crazy.

Oh, Harry, it runs in the family.

Oh, am I interrupting something?

Harry was, er... just leaving.

I didn't know you made
house calls, Doctor.

I'll see you later.
Yes.

I just met Paul. He said I shouldn't
have mentioned Hendricks.

I'm sorry if I upset you.
That's all right.

In these circumstances

everyone in the camp should know

what's waiting out in the darkness,
however gruesome.

Susan, this is Glencliff Manor,
not Tanganyika.

You're wrong it's a jungle

It's the jungle.

And there's a wild animal around
who kills for the pleasure of it.

He's got very sharp teeth
and very long nails

and he hides in houses
and waits until everyone is asleep

and then he takes his victim

and very, very slowly
tears the flesh off them.

Oh, Susan, please.

In case he gets in.

Or in case he gets you.

Use this.

And if a bullet won't stop him,

shoot yourself.

Come in!

Mrs Pleasant... I'm afraid.

I think that I'm in
some kind of danger.

If you are afraid,
you are in danger.

Mr West always said,

"Fear is what you have to be afraid of."

He told me that he'd seen fear
make people lose their minds.

Huh! Permanently, in just a few hours.

Mr West said,

"The canary in a cage
almost dies of fright,

when the cat walks round the cage."

Dies a thousand deaths,

although it's quite safe.

That's a comfort.

Unfortunately... this is a house,

not in a cage.

Well... Allison Crosby,

I think she got disbarred and left.

What have you being doing?
Getting a lot of advice

and trying to figure out what "ice" means.

Ice? Mmm, ice.

Here, look.

Ice.

Didn't Crosby says something
about the fact that the biggest problem

was preserving the film?
Uh-hmm.

How do you go about
preserving something?

Ice!
Ice!

Oh, my God, what's that?
I don't know

but you look here and I'll try there.
Ok.

Have you found anything?
Not yet.

I think I found something.

Look down there.

Do you see it?

There's something...

I'll be around, so if anything
happens, you just scream...

and I'll run and get Cicily.

Better than nothing.

It's a fine weapon.
A fine weapon, Mrs Pleasant.

Help! Someone help!

Help! Please help!

Come quick! There... there
was a creature in my room!

He stole my necklace!
I thought he was trying to kill me!

What he look like?
Where did he go?

Calm down everyone, just calm down.

First of all, Annabelle and I
found the West necklace.

How do we know you didn't take it?
It didn't fit.

How do we know you didn't take it?
I put it on before I went to sleep.

No, I wear it around my neck...

And where did this
man come from?

Er... right here, I think.

It is not possible!

Oh, really, Annabelle,
you can't be serious.

Anything can happen in a house like this.

He came out of the wall?
Yes!

But you were sleeping.
It's the truth!

You said you were sleeping.
I was! He must have been here.

I bolted the door!
Maybe he was in already.

Or wasn't in at all.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well really, Annabelle's been
strange the whole night.

Why don't you just say

that I've got the running
West insanity?

Relax, Susan.
Anybody can get a little...hysterical.

I'm not hysterical!
The creature was there.

The creature was here.
How did he get in?

That's not so hard to figure out. There
are many secret passages in this country.

What's so strange about the cat
sneaking in and accidentally finding one?

One that led to this room?

Is there a passage that leads here?

Er... I I don't know.

There's got to be some
explanation for all this.

Do you suppose it's really Mrs Crosby?

It could've been you.

Now do you think she was seeing things?

Where does that lead to?

I don't know.

That maniac may still be in the house.

My God suppose he's still here.

I hope our friend Hendricks
comes back soon.

Nobody's to go down there.

Why don't you two charmers...

just lock this room up and
put Annabelle in some safe place.

I'm going to look around again.

I didn't think it would turn into
this kind of evening.

Let's get the body downstairs.
I told you what that maniac does.

Yes, cousin Susan.

You described it to
me most perfectly.

Almost too perfectly.

I must be hurt worse than I thought.

Where have you been?

Not very far.

What have you been doing?

Thinking.

Being alone in this place
gives me the double creeps.

Stretch out, I'll relax you.

Hi. Victim number two.

Paul, you're hurt!

I'm all right, but the left side
of my head's missing.

Who did it?
I found him in the basement.

I don't know. You'd have been
proud of me, I didn't bounce once.

What happened?

And then I saw Mrs Pleasant
looking down at me.

This makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?

Well it does to me.

But try telling the others,
they'll think you're insane too.

They may have a point.

Some maniac is trying to kill us.

Look what just happened to you.

Maybe he's not trying to kill us. Maybe he's
just a little overstimulated, as Susan would say.

Very funny, Paul.

I am scared, really scared.

Old Cyrus's game was
to give everyone here a licence to kill.

What better way than to let everyone

think he has a chance of the jackpot.

He mentioned Mrs Crosby,

Mrs Pleasant...
And Mew-Mew.

Yeah. Who the hell was Mew-Mew?

Want to hear my new song?
I wrote it while I was unconscious.

It's called Kiss My Arias.

Want to hear my first hit? Want to
hear my last hit? It's the same hit.

Come on.

Lock me out. I'll get the second film

from Mrs Crosby's body
and find out who's the second heir.

I got an idea.
What?

I want to have a little
talk with whoever it is.

Don't let anyone in on it,
not even old Cyrus West himself.

Paul… what kind
of cousins are we?

Kissing cousins.

Isn't that illegal?
Only if it feels good.

It's illegal.
It's illegal.

I could do this for the rest of our lives.

Which may not be very long.

In 50 years I'll be
photographing your will.

Please be careful.
Remember what happened the last time.

I was younger then
without responsibilities.

It's different now.

A passage.

Paul? Paul?

I found it!

I found the secret passage!

Help!

Charlie!

Yes of course.

You see, it turns out,
I'm quite original after all.

I'm quite original,

especially with people who cheat me.

How? How did I cheat you?

You got my inheritance.

Yours?
Of course.

You cheated me.
The money was mine.

I was the old man's favorite.

First it was his damn cat
that was the favourite.

But I took care of the cat...

and then I was the favourite.

You didn't know I used to play in
this house when I was a kid, did you?

The old man showed
me the secret passages.

He showed them to me
because I was the favorite.

That's why I phonied
up my war record,

to keep him proud of me.

This was Cyrus's private
entertaining room.

No one knows about it...

except me, Cyrus

and Mrs. Pleasant.

Please... That money

is mine.

I should've been the heir and I would've
been if it hadn't been for your damn name.

You're next in line.

That's right, it says so in this.

Mrs Crosby figured it out.

Susan tried to figure it out.

Susan? What have you done with her?

Exactly what I'm going to do to you.

Thank God you've come!

He's a maniac! He tried to kill...

Well done.

Thank you. But everything was well done.

The clock chimed on cue,

I saved you from cousin
Harry in the nick of time.

I thought you'd never arrive.

Let's take a little time with her.

No need to rush it,
as you did with the others.

Where is your lucky medal?

I must've dropped it upstairs,
I'll go and get it.

Don't start without me.

Hi, Charlie!

I figured it out.

I wanted to be here...

for the star of the evening.

Scream, please.

Do scream if you feel like it.
They can't hear you now.

Please! I'll give you the money.

Oh, we'll have the money anyway,
in a little while.

In a little while.

Charlie will have everything.

Why are you doing this?
Charlie's insane.

We were in the army together.

He asked me to help him
inherit some money.

In return for which
I would have certain rewards.

Some material...

and some...

non-material.

I hope you're not busy
for the next few hours.

There's a clock on the table over there.

So you'll be able to see
how slowly time passes...

when you're having fun.

Mrs. Pleasant!

Annabelle is in danger!

Please don't.

Have pity.

Are you all right?

Just barely.

Is the... is the cat out for the night?

I think the cat's out for good.

You know, if this were a song
I'd say something about,

It's gonna be a real nice day.

And I'd definitely agree.

Annabelle?
Cicily, leaving so soon?

Yes, Harry's giving me a lift.

Cicily, I'm terribly sorry about Susan.

Me too.

What are you going to do?

Well, I'm going to go to Kenya for
the winter and then we'll see.

Let me know as soon
as you get back, ok?

Thank you.

Ah, good morning, leeches.

Good morning!

And now you know
what leeches you really are.

So the heir named West cracked up.

Turned out to be the one to whom

I bequeathed our strain of insanity.

Bad luck or perhaps

they didn't make it through the night.

Even worse luck.

Well, you remaining bunch of bastards,

I'll tell you which of you is next in line.

The suspense must be killing you.

It's that curly-haired little rascal

Charlie Wilder!

He was so nice
when the cat died.

So you Charlie Wilder or,
if you're dead by now,

the institution that will
get the money.

You're going to learn what life is all
about, what it's really all about.

It took me a lifetime to learn it.

Greed.

Greed and power.

That's what it's all about.

Forget everything else.
Forget what they try to talk you into.

Money.

Learn to get it and, now that you've
got it, learn to hang on to it.

That's all, our visit is concluded...

for the time being.

As I said last night,

I'll look for you all later.