All language subtitles for THORNBIRDS_D_2_SIDE_B-eng

From the raw Australia of the 1900s...

comes a turbulent saga
that spans the decades.

Colleen McCullough's best-selling novel.

The Thorn Birds.

The story of an ambitious priest,
a beautiful woman...

and a love that lasted a lifetime.

You can marry me. You love me.

But I love God more.

His ambition took him
from the woman he loved...

to the corridors of power.

Her desire brought her to the man
she thought could take his place.

Got my own announcement to make.
I'm going to marry Luke O'Neill.

But her heart was with the man
she could never have.

What I wouldn't give if she were yours
instead of Luke's.

God knows how much I've hurt you.
But I do love you.

- Meghann's my wife, not yours!
- Then be a husband to her, man!

What kind of God would shut
men out of Paradise for loving women?

A God I still can't give up for you.

And tonight, the story continues.

I found a pleasure in her
I never dreamed existed.

Meghann, what are you doing here?

You complacent, conceited--

Meghann, shut up!

I've come back.

- Will you tell Ralph?
- What should I tell him?

That he has a son.

And from generation to generation...

their desire and torment live on.

From the London stage
to the islands of Greece...

and back to Australia.

What else have I done
but pay for the great sin...

of loving Ralph de Bricassart?

Featuring Christopher Plummer,
Piper Laurie...

Earl Holliman, Ken Howard...

Mare Winningham, Philip Anglim,
Jean Simmons...

Bryan Brown, Rachel Ward...

and Richard Chamberlain.

A Jove unattainable...

forbidden forever: The Thorn Birds.

Himmelhoch's the same as ever.

We missed you, Meggie.

Anne's dying to see you.

Go ahead. I'll get your bag.

Wait till you see little Justine.

Jussie remembers me all right.

Ralph did come, didn't he?

What was I to do?

When he saw you weren't here,
I thought the man would die.

He already looked
like he'd been haunting houses as well.

I thought...

maybe he might even
mean to give it all up for you.

And you can still look so happy.

I'll never have
what you and Luddie have together.

But I can live forever
on those few days with Ralph if I have to.

Far better that, than watching him
grow to hate me more each day...

for keeping him
from what he thinks he needs.

You'll be leaving us.

Yes.

Welcome back to Rome.

You have chosen.

You said I must
if I'm to go on in the Church.

But having chosen...

how can I go on?

I have broken...

all my vows.

You went to the rose.

Yes.

I never felt such ecstasy in God's presence
as I felt with her.

I found a pleasure in her
I never dreamed existed.

Not just in her body...

but because I love to be with her...

smile at her...

talk with her...

share her food, share her thoughts.

I wanted never to leave her.

But you left her.

You found the strength to leave her.

But I haven't let go of her.

That's what wounds me,
and I don't know how to heal myself!

Perhaps you're not meant to.

Perhaps that wound has saved you.

Do you remember
the Greek story of Hippolytus?

The play we saw in Athens.

- He was killed because he couldn't love.
- No.

Because he was too proud...

to love.

Too arrogant to count himself
among mortal men.

Yes, your vows are broken.

But so, too, let us hope,
is that proud spirit...

that kept you
from the thing you wanted most.

You see...

one cannot truly be a priest...

without the humility to understand...

that one is first a man.

When you think of your rose...

think that it was she...

that led you to understand that.

No.

To see her only...

as some means of saving me
would be the greatest arrogance of all.

She loves, Vittorio, despite everything.

And with a singleness of mind and heart.

If only...

I could love like that.

How can I ever thank you?

You've been more like parents to me
than my own were.

Rubbish!

We'll be down to see you in Drogheda
one day. Won't we, Luddie?

I wouldn't mind having a look at it.

Come on, Jussie.

Hold onto him.
There are few enough like him.

Thank God!

The outfit's perfect, Meggie.

Wish I could see the farewell performance!

Bye.

Take him down!

That's a takedown!

Hello, Luke.

Meghann, what are you doing here?

What the hell do you mean
coming here with the kid?

That's right.
You've never seen her, have you?

Luke, this is Justine.

If you've come with another of your
"let's settle down in our nest" speeches...

Is that what you think?

Wasn't it enough you sending
your damned Roman priest after me?

- What are you talking about?
- When I refused Father Ralph's money...

you sent him to beg for you, didn't you?

I haven't seen him
since the day Justine was born.

Sounds like him, though.
Like all meddling priests.

He'd be only too happy to see me
settle down with half a dozen more brats!

That's what you want, isn't it?

I was stupid enough to think so.

Thanks to you, Luke,
I've had time to get around...

and to find out what I've been missing!

And to realize that the last thing I want...

is to be stuck out in some dried-up station
in western Queensland with you...

- for the rest of my life!
- Meghann, shut up!

That would be my big reward, wouldn't it?

After wasting
God knows how many years waiting...

while you try to prove you're a real man...

when you're not and you never will be!

- So I'm leaving you.
- Leaving me? No, you're not.

Cheer up, Luke.

You still got your mate Arne.

Maybe you'll be more use to him
because you're none to me!

If 1 did wanna have more kids...

it wouldn't be hard
to find a better breeder.

'Cause I found out something else lately...

you complacent, conceited...

self-centered bastard!

You can't make love for toffee.

And about the money you stole from me,
Luke. Take it!

I'm happy to sacrifice it.

On one condition:

Don't ever make me set eyes on you again.

Not as long as I live!

Take me to Dungloe station.

Mail truck's coming!

Good! I hope he's brought my pastry flour.

Bob, Jack, it's me! I'm home!

Meggie, what are you doing here?

Oh, my God! Mrs. Cleary!

Mrs. Cleary, come!

Meggie, it's you! You've come back!
What a surprise!

What have we here?

Wouldn't you tell a person
you were coming?

Look at this little angel.

- Where's Luke?
- Coming later, no doubt.

Mom, I've come back.

To stay.

So you've left Luke then?

He didn't want me.

Or his children.

- Children?
- Yes.

I'm going to have another baby.

I knew he'd be beautiful.

He's got the Cleary mouth all right.

- He's a bonzer little bloke.
- But can he sit ahorse?

He will.

Jussie, there you are.

Look at what's here.

Come here, darling.

Look at your new little brother Dane.

It's all right.

It's all right, darling.

Take care of yourself, Meggie.

- Rest well, Meggie.
- See you later.

Mom, wouldn't you like to hold Dane?

Will you tell Ralph?

Father de Bricassart?

I don't know. What should I tell him?

That he has a son.

How could you?

That's insane.

Don't lie to me, Meggie. Not to me.

I knew it the moment you came home.
That's why you came home.

You had what you wanted.
You didn't need Luke anymore.

No. I told you. Luke didn't want me.

I've been watching
you and Ralph de Bricassart for years.

All he had to do was crook his little finger
and you went running.

It was the same for him,
from the moment he laid eyes on you.

Poor Ralph.

When he came here last year
and found you married and gone...

I knew that sooner or later
he would have to go to you.

And he did, didn't he?

You're very cruel, Mom.

One might think that you of all people
would understand.

Because of Frank.

You can give as good as you get.

How long have you known?

Since I was a little girl.

Since Frank went away.

I was 16 when I met him.

He was everything that Paddy wasn't.

Sophisticated, cultured, charming.

I thought I couldn't live without him.

But he was an important man...

a politician...

and already married.

He wasn't about to
sacrifice all that for me.

I was nothing to his noble ambition.

Just as you're nothing to Ralph's.

I know I can never have Ralph.

But at least I've got part of him
the Church can never have.

Yes. That's what I thought.

To take of him what I could.

To have his child to love at least.

But what have I got now?

I lost Frank.

I paid in the worst way a mother could.

And you're going to pay, too.

Believe me, God will see to that.

You think I haven't paid already?

What else have I ever done
but pay for the great sin...

of loving Ralph de Bricassart?

All my life I trod the straight
and narrow for fear of God Almighty...

and what did it get me but a broken heart?

No, Mom, I'm not afraid of God anymore.

And as for Ralph...

he'll never know Dane's his...

unless you tell him.

And if you do, I warn you...

I'll be as merciful to you
as you have always been to me!

Yes, you'll beat God himself as I did.

I have beaten God.

Dane is mine,
and nothing's gonna take him from me.

Hello?

"He has outsoared the shadow of our night

"Envy and calumny and hate and pain

"And that unrest
which men miscall delight

"Can touch him not and torture not again

"From the contagion
of the world's slow stain

"He is secure

"and now can never mourn
A heart grown cold

"a head grown gray in vain"

No! You forgot again.

It's "He lives, he wakes
'tis Death is dead, not"...

Good day. We were just pretending.

Can we help you, sir?

I've come to see the Clearys.

Uncle Jack's taken everyone to Sydney
for Christmas shopping.

They'll be back soon.

- If it's about the stud rams--
- You must be Meggie's boy, Dane.

Yes, sir.

I'm Cardinal de Bricassart.

But, Your Eminence...

we weren't expecting you until tomorrow.

Are you actually the Cardinal?

You're disappointed.

I did think you'd arrive all decked out,
trailing clouds of glory or something.

You'll have to
come to the Vatican for that.

Pity. I'll bet you're smashing in red.

I'm Justine, by the way.

Could we dispense with the ring business?

I'm afraid I think religion
is rather a load of codswallop.

It's all right, Dane.
Justine and I are old friends.

The first time we met, you wet on me,
as I remember.

Mother's going to be so happy to see you.

Must be 20 years since I was here last.

Hello, my darling.

Mom, look who's here. Father Ralph.

Hello, Meggie.

Isn't it wonderful?

Wonderful.

I was ready to administer last rites.

There was Dane, evidently past all hope...

and you were very convincing, my dear.

Our Jussie considers herself
quite the actress.

Thanks, Mom.

Actually, I'm rather good.

As you might discover
if you'd ever come to a performance.

Jussie's wonderful.
She's the best one in the theater group.

If you ask me,
I think it's a lot of nonsense, Jussie.

You've just turned 20.

Best be thinking of marriage instead of
parading on some stage in Sydney.

Marriage, Uncle Bob?

And spoil the family tradition?

I hardly think I'm gonna waste my talent
wiping snotty noses...

and salaaming to some joker
just because he's my husband.

Charmingly phrased, Jussie, as always.

It looks as though it'll be up to Dane
to keep the Cleary clan from dying out.

Mom, have a heart.

You'll need a house full of sons
to take over Drogheda...

the way we've been growing.

Yes, you've been doing splendidly
since the war.

I'd say so.

Our yield this year could have bought
and sold Mary Carson several times over.

I think 1955 could be even better.

So I don't think we've given
the Church much to complain of.

Now, Mom.

If not for the Church
the government would have broken us up.

MacQueen's place is down to half its size.

Think of that, Ralph.

One day Dane will be the head of
the last great station in New South Wales.

Hear, hear.

I can't imagine
a better future for you, Dane.

Hear, hear.

So, Judy, still here on Drogheda?

I was meaning to go, of course.

- Was it 30 years? More than 30.
- That long.

Why, I remember so well
when you were Queen of the Gilly fair.

I was, wasn't I?

Nana Fee, look at that hat.

Jussie, that was considered quite smart
in my day.

Mom, you amaze me.

I had no idea you'd
kept these photographs all these years.

I've only looked at them once
since the fire, myself.

I thought it was time
the children saw them.

This is your grandfather, Paddy...

Little Hal and Stuie.

Dear Stuie.

He's the one I remind you of, Mom?

Yes, he is, in so many ways.

Who's this hero in the gloves?

Never a Cleary, surely.

- Jus.
- That's all right.

This is my Frank.

It was in his things
the prison sent back to me when he died.

Mom, is this you?

You were beautiful.

Were? The cruelty of youth.

What a lovely dress. Blue, wasn't it?

No, Mom. Yours was blue.

Meggie's dress was rose.
"Ashes of Roses," it was called.

In it, she was the most beautiful thing
any of us had ever seen.

It never really changes, does it?

Not even after all these years of silence
between us.

Only that you're lovelier than ever.

Much lovelier than that girl
in her Ashes of Roses gown.

It's because I'm so happy.

When you left me on Matlock Island,
I thought it was forever.

And here you are again, so soon.

Why now...

when you have everything
you said you wanted?

Everything...

except what I had with you
on Matlock Island.

In all the years since then
I've fought against my need for you.

But I couldn't bear to leave this life
without being with you again.

- You're not ill?
- No.

Just getting old.

Feeling my mortality, like any man.

And God help me, after all these years...

it still hurts...

that after Matlock Island
you could go back to Luke...

give him a son.

You must never think of Dane
as Luke's son.

Or as anyone's but mine.

You love Dane very much, don't you?

Almost too much, I sometimes think...

as I've always loved you too much.

Father, it's gonna be a scorcher of a day.

Perhaps we'd best take the jeep instead.

It might be wiser, Ralph.
It must be years since you've ridden.

And we're none of us any younger, are we?

I'll just try to struggle along
if you're sure she's nice and gentle.

Shall we?

Come on!

Be careful!

Dane's very taken with him, Meggie.

He's never known a father.

Let him enjoy Ralph while he can.

I thought you might tell Ralph, after all.

Who would it serve?

Who does it serve not to?

I honestly think you're disappointed...

I haven't been struck by
some retributive bolt of lightning.

I'm happy for once in my life.

Can't you let me enjoy it?

Where's Dane?

Damn! I wanted to tell him.

Jussie, what on earth are you doing?

I'm off to tread the boards, Mom.

They just phoned me from the theater.

Seems our Mrs. Cratchit's got the pip.

God bless us every one.

You're going back to Sydney?

Uncle Jack's flying me down.

- Jussie, it's Christmas!
- Yes, Mother.

That's often when one stages
Dickens' Christmas Carol,

You know how much this Christmas
means to me, with Ralph here.

I am understudy. I really shouldn't have
come home as it was.

That's just wonderful, isn't it?

Yes, I think it is.

Really, Mom, you might be happy for me.

I may get to do as many as
a dozen performances.

- God, you are exactly like--
- My father?

So you've said.

I should look him up one day.
We'd have lots to talk about.

Ta, Nana Fee.

It means a great deal to me
to have you here.

I realize you know very little about me...

but I've wanted for so long to know you...

to talk with you.

Father...

did you ever have any regrets
about entering the priesthood?

Yes. Inevitably, I suppose.

I've missed things.

A woman to share my life.

Perhaps even a son, like you.

I would've liked that, Dane, very much.

What caused you to make your decision
to become a priest?

Curiously...

it wasn't really like a conscious decision.

More like something
you've always known from the first.

My fate, you might say.

Father....

I also want to be a priest.

Why?

When you can do anything with your life...

be anything.

How can you say that...

when you are everything I want to be?

Dane, no.

You know nothing of the man I am.

You look at me and see the Cardinal,
the Prince of the Church.

I see the priest...

the perfect priest.

Then you're wrong.

To say it was my fate to be a priest...

isn't to say it was given to me like a gift.

An entire lifetime of trying
to offer myself up totally to God...

has brought me no more...

than moments of oneness with him.

And I have broken every vow.

Do you understand? Every vow.

I have not been equal
to the sacrifice God asks.

But you have spent your life trying.

Father, when I said the perfect priest...

I didn't mean some infallible being.

I mean someone who strives
to do God's will.

Maybe I won't
be equal to the sacrifice either.

But if I don't try...

my life will have no meaning.

It's the only way I know to show God
how much I love him.

Do you know
what this will mean to your mother?

It's why I've tried for so long
to put it out of my mind.

I know how important it is to her
to have me stay on here in Drogheda.

And I love her so much.

But I must do this.

Then you must let me help you, son.

I'll tell her, because I love her, too.

Don't touch me!

Please believe me.

Dane's mind was made up
long before I arrived.

I believe you!

Don't you think I don't know
you're just here to collect for what I stole!

- l don't understand.
- No, you wouldn't.

But understanding's beside the point
for you men of God, isn't it?

Faith! That's the great thing!

Let me tell you, Ralph...

I've got more faith than you and Dane
and all the heavenly host combined...

because God has never failed me!

He's always there to take away
whatever happiness I've got!

Dane isn't being taken from you.
He is simply doing what he must.

Can't you see what this is costing him?

He loves you so much.

But, Ralph...

- he loves God more!
- Meggie, stop it!

When I became a priest...

my mother swore she'd never forgive me...

and she never did.

Don't do that to Dane, Meggie.

Then take him.

If I must give him up, let it be to you.

Take him?

Yes.

When he finishes his schooling
this spring...

I'll send him to you in Rome
where you can look after him.

Keep him safe...

and promise me...

that if he should ever wish it,
you'll send him back...

because he belonged to me first.

You don't have to do this.

He can be settled in a seminary in Sydney,
where you can be near him.

You know it takes years
to prepare for the priesthood.

No, Ralph.

Your God wants reparation.

Very well.

Let Dane go to you...

and then I'll have nothing more to repay.

I will have given everything...

that I have ever had or loved
in my whole life.

Surely even God
can't ask for more than that.

I'm so sorry.

- Please forgive me.
- I didn't want to hurt you.

"In loving wrongly and beyond all reason,
I have sinned against the gods.

"I tremble that the burden of my crime
will fall upon my children...

"fell them both."

You're gonna be a wonderful Phaedra.

I mean, if I had talent like that....

Believe me, Martha, talent you don't need.

The virgin goddess Artemis bids you enter.

Darling! Was my performance that good?

Jus, I'm so sorry.

I missed the whole matinee.

Let me guess.

You were having a little talk with Jesus
and forgot all about the time.

Dane, honestly!

Let me finish dressing.

I won't be a minute.

Hello.

I haven't seen you in a long time.

Hello, Martha.

How are you?

Stunned, as always,
by your resemblance to Adonis.

- Maybe I'll wait in the park.
- Never mind. I'm going.

Another time.

Ta-ta.

Poor Martha.

She'll never forgive you
for saving it all for God.

Which reminds me.
Guess what I did last night.

You finally murdered your leading man.

Close. I went to bed with him.

I needed the experience.

I play the lead in Phaedra next,
so I have to know about passion, right?

All this pretending you don't care...

as if you're too smart to need anyone...

or love anyone.

Maybe I am too smart.

So far, loving and needing people
hasn't bought me a lot, has it?

Are you ever going to forgive me?

For becoming Father Rhubarb?

Probably not.

- When do you leave for Rome?
- Thursday.

I want to go spend some time
with Mom first.

I wish you'd visit Mom sometimes.

I know things have never been very good
between you two.

Yes, I used to weep salt tears about it,
but I've done with tears forever, okay?

I can't hold Mom's hand for you
because I won't be here either.

What do you mean?

I've decided I've far too much talent
to stay buried here in Aussie land.

So I'm taking myself off to London...

- after Phaedra is finished, of course.
- London?

That means I'll get to see you.

Dane, I've always taken care of you.

You surely can't expect to get along
without me now, can you?

I love you.

I couldn't sleep either.

What time does your plane leave
from Sydney?

Not till late tomorrow.

Do you want to fly down with Uncle Jack
and see me off?

It's freezing in here.
You'll catch your death.

- Mom.
- Come on.

I've always loved your bed...

the way it smells of you.

Remember when I used to
come in on the cold mornings?

Jussie would sort of
lurk about in the doorway...

half in and half out.

I wonder if you realize
how much she needed you.

You've always been so different
from one another.

I guess I thought
she never really needed me.

She did and does.

She loves you every bit as much as I do.

I'm glad she's going to be near you.

We've got it all planned out.

Every year when I get time off
from the seminary...

we're gonna tour and visit
a different country together...

then fly home for Christmas.

It's not as if I'm going away forever, is it?

There's so much I wanted to say to you.

To tell you
that you've brought my life joy...

and meaning in ways you can never know.

It hurts to leave you.

- l wish you could understand.
- But I do.

And it's that
that I most wanted to say to you.

I can't share your love of God.

But I do understand your need
to give your life to him.

Because each of us has within us...

something that just won't be denied.

Something to which we are driven...

even though it makes us
scream aloud to die.

Has it been like that for you, Mom?

Dane, goodbye.

- Cappuccino for you.
- Thanks.

How do you do?

I'm Rainer Hartheim. Welcome to Rome.

You've a terrific approach, Mr. Hartman,
but I won't be needing a tour guide.

You are Miss O'Neill, Dane's sister?

Yes. Is Dane all right?

He was supposed to meet me
at the station.

He was also to leave a message here,
saying that I would bring you along.

- Along?
- To tea with Cardinal de Bricassart.

Shall we?

Why not? You look safe enough.

Do I?

How very disappointing.

I must say you don't look at all like Dane.

So they tell me. Herr Hartman--

Hartheim. Rainer Moerling Hartheim.

All that?

- Impressive.
- Isn't it? I chose it myself.

Who are you, exactly?

An old friend of Cardinal de Bricassart.

I see.

Do all his friends have those little flags
on their fenders?

I'm a member
of the West German parliament.

I make a point of visiting the Cardinal
whenever I'm in Rome.

Remarkable man, the Cardinal.

A matter of taste, I suppose.

You're not like your brother, are you?

No, I'm the comic relief.

Sorry.

It's just it's always been rather difficult
measuring up to Dane...

his being so Christlike and all.

I gather it's a case of sibling rivalry.

No. None.

Strange, isn't it?

By rights, I should resent him terribly...

but, in fact, I've always adored him.

Good Lord! Do you always do this?

What?

Go about worming intimate facts
from perfect strangers.

Whenever possible.

And I doubt that you're perfect.

Here we are.

Crikey!

I always wanted to play the Vatican.

The latest reports from our UN observer
are not encouraging.

Your Eminence.

My dear Justine, you disappoint me.

Just rendering unto Caesar,
Your Eminence.

Besides, I'm determined
not to embarrass Dane.

I won't hold you to it.

Come, I want you
to meet Cardinal Contini-Verchese.

Really, darling,
must I meet the entire team?

Miss O'Neill...

Dane tells me you are an actress.

In London, yes.

How exciting.

What play are you doing now?

I'll start Joan of Arc in January.

I see.

No doubt you will be quite splendid.

After this, I'll be better.

I get the feeling that our little world
antagonizes you, my dear.

No, I suppose it shouldn't, really.

One doesn't often get such good theater.

It's very male, though. Isn't it?

I mean, with the exception
of the Virgin Mary...

women are relegated to the cheap seats,
in the upper balcony.

Yeah, but you are forgetting...

that we call that upper balcony...

Il Paradiso.

Paradise.

Your Eminence.

- I'll see you when I return.
- Thank you, Your Eminence.

- You are looking forward to your holiday?
- Cardinal, it's been a fascinating afternoon.

You Cleary women.

Forever pitting yourselves
against God and the Church.

Our fate, perhaps.

Or maybe it's hereditary...

a sort of bad seed.

There's little question
you're descended from Mary Carson.

And from your mother.

Much as Mom might wish otherwise.

Fortunately, we Cleary women have Dane
to pray for our redemption.

You feel very protective toward Dane,
don't you?

And, I think, rather fearing for him...

here among we red-robed vultures.

Even I wouldn't have put it
that uncharitably...

but it's pretty fast company
for a boy whose only ambition...

is to give his soul to God.

Touché, my dear.

You're very young to be so cynical.

And so wise.

- Rainer will take care of you.
- How very disappointing.

A bit of fresh pasta, a green salad.
Exquisite.

Here.

When you suggested dinner, I had some
mad idea we'd end up in a restaurant.

An understandable error.

Grazie, Giovanni.

I thought you lived in Germany.

Yes, but I'm often here in Rome...

so I keep this place.

I've another in London, as well.

I seem to need to make a home
for myself wherever I go.

Perhaps because I was orphaned
as a child.

Bit of a posh life for an orphan,
wouldn't you say?

If you're all that domesticated,
why not marry?

I did, once. But for the worst of reasons.

I'm sure I'll never marry,
not for any reason.

No? But why?

For starters, there's my work.

You're saying an actress can't marry?

Some can, of course.

But each of us has only so much to give,
haven't we?

And just imagine...

on the stage
I can commit suicide or murder.

I can go mad, sacrifice myself for love...

save men or ruin them.

Compared to all that
I suppose marriage does sound rather dull.

You seem to have forgotten
that there is an excellent reason to marry.

Falling in love.

That.

Of course that. What could be better?

Almost anything, I think.

The truth is, if you love people,
they kill you.

If you need people, they kill you.

So I don't want to need anyone, not ever.

Very sad.

It's what I want most of all.

Then I hope you find it.

You're awfully certain about things,
aren't you?

Why not wait and give life a chance...

see what develops?

Nothing will, I can assure you.

What about friendship?
At least is that allowed?

Only if you feed me. I'm starving.

Then you'd best start doing your share,
hadn't you?

So, my Ralph...

the children of the rose.

I very much like this Justine.

Most entertaining.

But one wonders
what hurts could be so deep...

that she must make such an effort
to keep them hidden.

Rather sad.

It is easier to be fond of Dane.

You're very...

taken with Dane...

aren't you?

Sometimes when I watch him...

it's like watching my own self at his age.

We'd best get you in bed.

My beautiful bed, in which I shall die...

one of these fine days.

And not even a pope's bed.

But there still may be time...

for you.

Now, Vittorio.

Good evening.
Will you tell Herr Hartheim that I'm here?

I'm sorry I'm late. Bloody London traffic.

How are you?
How's Germany? How's Dane?

I'm fine, Germany's cold...

and Dane's dying to see you in Rome
when your play's finished here.

Herzen.

You look marvelous.

Thanks, but the black's
to match my mood.

I trust you've seen my reviews.

I doubt this evening will cheer you up.

It's all politicians and diplomats.

God.

- And their little wives.
- If you'd rather not....

Nonsense, darling. I've been
playing hostess to you for three years.

I shall do so again, brilliantly.
What are friends for?

- You're sure?
- Lay on, Macduff.

Good evening.
How delightful to see you again.

You just look stunning, simply stunning.

Regarding the election
of the new Roman pontiff...

we, of the College of Cardinals
in conclave...

do promise and sweat...

that we will most religiously
keep secret all those things...

which in any manner
pertain to that election,

Dane, how good to find you here.

You must've been waiting
a very long time.

- Are you all right, Father?
- Quite all right.

Just rather hot work...

this business of electing a pope.

But I think we've done very well.

I think he may surprise them all...

our new Pope John.

Not the most conventional of choices.

I must say you're very contained
for a seminary student...

who's just witnessed
one of the world's greatest events.

There have been rumors--

That I was among those favored
for election?

Yes, I know.

The strange thing is I feel no regret.

It's a pity
Vittorio couldn't hear me say that.

He had such a taste for irony.

You still miss him very much, don't you?

Very much.

I find it appropriate
that I should have his quarters now.

I've always followed in his footsteps.

He was almost like a father to me.

As you are to me.

You make me very happy, Dane.

If I have no regrets about today...

it's because my ambitions now
are all for you.

I must admit to hoping that you'll
follow in my footsteps in the Church.

I've a long way to go
before I'm even made a priest...

and I'm far from knowing yet
how best I may serve God.

Of course.

But I already see such promise in you.

What more could I want
than to help you all I can?

Rain, you're supposed to herd
the poor beasts, not scare them to death.

I thought you were a leader.

Of men, Herzen, of men.

Don't listen to her.
You can have a place here anytime.

I can see it now:
Rainer Hartheim, head cocky.

Cocky? What's a cocky?

Maybe you should accept Uncle Bob's
job offer for the sake of the outfit.

It's awfully dashing on you.

Do you know I've never seen you
in anything but a suit and tie?

I've always been dashing.
You just never noticed.

I'm so glad you came home with me.

Thank you.

Justine, I've already told you.
I'm not going to Dane's ordination...

and I'd rather not discuss it further.

I've come 12,000 miles...

and interrupted my work to discuss it.

Pity you've made such a sacrifice
for something that needn't concern you.

Dane's counting on you to come.
Surely you can understand that.

I wish you'd let it alone!

I'll talk with Dane when he comes home
for Christmas.

What if he doesn't come?

He won't be a seminary student with
long vacations any more. He'll be a priest.

He'll come.

Mother, I don't think you understand.

There's no place as exciting for Dane
right now as Rome...

especially with Vatican Il going on,
and Ralph the aide to Pope John.

Ralph will see that Dane has a part of it.

Justine, please! I have my reasons.

Have you, Mom?
I hope they're damn good ones.

I hope they're worth hurting Dane
as deeply as you're going to.

You're really something, Mother.

If it were my ordination,
I would understand it.

But Dane's supposedly the one you love.

God!

I'm sorry, Mr. Hartheim.

I'm afraid my daughter and I
never understood one another very well.

And I'm sorry you've come 12,000 miles
for nothing, too.

My reasons for coming
are rather different.

I've heard about Drogheda for years
from Dane and Justine...

and from the Cardinal.

I am sorry that you will
miss the ordination, Mrs. O'Neill.

The Cardinal speaks of you so very often.

And he has been quite ill,
you know, this winter.

I hope that you will
give my love to Ralph...

and to my son for me.

I've never been very clear
about your relationship to Ralph.

I was a young soldier when I met him...

quite by accident.

I had come to St. Peter's to pray.

I ended up talking with him
through the night...

all about my hopes for Hitler's downfall...

my dreams of rebuilding
a new and better Germany...

single-handedly, of course.

You've certainly been
a part of that effort, haven't you?

At a cost, yes.

I'm afraid I used my wife...

rather badly in the process.

I was quite the ambitious idealist, you see.

I thought such noble ends as mine
justified any means.

When Cardinal de Bricassart
learned of this...

he told me something which has been
very useful to me since.

That there are no ambitions noble enough
to justify breaking someone's heart.

He said that, did he?

Yes.

You were kind to your wife in the end.
You got rid of her.

Whereas Jussie can keep you...

because she'll never let you
get under her skin.

Unfortunately, you may be correct.

I'm no longer an idealist, Mrs. Cleary.

But I do still have some dreams.

And I have patience.

The Father anointed Jesus Christ as Lord...

through the power of the Holy Spirit.

May Jesus keep you worthy...

of offering sacrifice to God...

and of sanctifying the Christian assembly.

Peace be with you.

And also with you.

And also with you.

Where are you, Herzen?

Just.... Rather a day, what?

Thanks for being such a dear
with the uncles all week.

Is Dane traveling back
to Australia with them?

No, he's gonna spend
a few days in Greece first.

He always wanted to do that.

I think you are...

rather disappointed about Dane's decision.

No, not really. No.

It'll thrill Mom at least.

Dane is what she's always wanted.

I never was, God knows.

But then I assume you got the picture
when we were there.

One can hardly blame Mom,
given the way I am.

That doesn't sound like you.
And I would have you no other way.

I was just your age...

when, as a priest, I came to Gilly.

But for such different reasons.

I was forced to go,
as penance for my pride.

You choose it, out of humility and love.

But it is very difficult...

because I love you, too.

You once said to me that
becoming a priest for you wasn't a gift...

but something hard-won
by sacrifice and suffering.

I understand that better, leaving you.

It is a sacrifice...

giving up all the things
you could have made possible for me here.

But I think I will feel closer to God...

and better able to do his work
in a simpler place.

And in choosing Gilly,
I can make my mother happy.

She deserves that.

Yes.

She deserves that.

You know, I had great hopes for you...

great ambitions...

that you would go as far as I
in the Church. Perhaps even farther.

But you have made me see...

what I only glimpsed long ago
about my ambitions for myself.

That they had less to do with God's will...

than with my own.

The truth is
you have always been far beyond me.

I'm so proud of you, Dane.

I doubt that a man could be prouder
of his own son.

Thank you, Father.

I hope I may be truly worthy of that.

But I wonder...

if the time comes
when I must truly suffer...

can I accept it?

Can I put myself into God's hands...

and not fight his will?

You must never doubt it.

Because you are that rarest of things:

a truly holy man.

You don't really know how I am.

You only know what I let you see.

- You insult me.
- l don't mean to.

But I'm a better actress than you think.

I'm not about to let you
into the dark recesses of my mind...

and risk scaring you away.

- l need you too much.
- Not only insulting, but selfish.

We knew that, didn't we?

Anyway, I'm not disappointed about Dane.

I think he's mad to give up Rome...

but Drogheda's home to him.

He's always belonged to it
in a way I never could.

That's no failing on your part.

If you don't belong to Drogheda,
it's because it simply isn't you.

Sometimes I wonder where I do belong.

Sometimes I feel a little lost.

Usually, in fact,
unless I'm actually performing.

Do you think there's such a thing
as off-stage fright?

It's very simple, Justine.

- You belong with me.
- Oh, really? In Bonn?

Do grow up.

What do you think,
I'd want to turn you into a Hausfrau?

Obviously for people like us...

itisn't a question of place,
it's a question of love.

I've grown to love you very much.

I think you love me, too.

It could never work.

I told you that from the first.

- But, Herzen--
- No, I can't.

You'll get it wet.

"As flies to wanton boys
are we to the gods.

"They kill us for their sport."

- Poor Lear.
- Poor me, you mean.

Fancy me in the role of Cordelia.

How's the water?

It's a pretty strong undertow,
but it's wonderful.

Communing with mighty Neptune.

Really, Father O'Neill, too pagan of you.
You'll be excommunicated.

Your soul's already in mortal danger
as itis.

Don't tell me you haven't noticed
those two dying for you.

He's cute. I wonder how we can meet him.

They'd be after you like a shark
if I weren't protecting you.

I'll tell you something
I have noticed, sister.

I've noticed that you haven't
given me a straight answer...

as to what you're doing here
in Greece with me.

Now, you can tell me anything, my child.

Remember, I am a priest.

All right.

It's Rain.

- He wants me to marry him.
- That's wonderful!

Jus, I hoped it would be
something like this.

You did?

The man's been in love with you for ages.

But I can't marry him.
I've always said I'd never marry anyone.

This is hardly the time
to stand on principle.

I thought you'd understand at least.

- I'm sorry. But if you love him--
- But that's just it!

I don't think I can love anyone.

I don't think I've got it in me.

You know how it's always been with me.

I know you've always
been able to love me.

That's different.

You're my brother.

Besides, if I love you it's because
you've always accepted me, warts and all.

Because I'm such a saint?

Isn't that how it goes? Saint Dane?

Look, Jus.

All our lives, you've always known
that I was the favorite.

A lot of sisters might have hated me for it.

But you never gave me anything but love.

That's because--

I always used to deny it
when you said that Mom didn't love you.

Always used to imply...

that somehow if you just tried harder
everything would be all right.

Because I couldn't bear the thought
of Mom being unloving.

I couldn't stand the guilt
of getting your share as well as mine.

The truth is that Mom didn't love you
the way she should.

She didn't show you the love
you should have had.

I know it's hard for her, knowing that.

It isn't that you can't love.

It is that you've been made to feel
that you don't deserve to be loved.

But you do.

You do.

Jussie! Are you coming?

Where were you all morning?

Rain's coming. Right now.

Really? I'll be right up.

Go commune with
mighty Neptune awhile, all right?

It'll be all right.

Hello.

Where's our new Father O'Neill?

I sent him out for a dip.

He'll be up later.

You see how easily
you command the fates of your men.

I hardly think I commanded you to come.

But you must admit your wire
was much too intriguing to resist.

"Did you mean it, Rain?"

Did I mean what, Herzen?

That you love me.

Is that what all this is about?

Why else would you have come?

Why else?
To salvage what I could of friendship.

I'll settle for that, if I must.

Look, sport, you're the one who changed
the status quo between us, not I.

And you want what now,
an apology for that?

If I offered one, you'd throw me out
like a smelly, old rag.

- l can do that yet, mate.
- But you won't...

because you need me
to keep you on the hop.

- Is that why you came?
- What do you think?

I think you're a prize sadist.

Say you love me again, you big kraut,
and watch me spit in your eye!

And you would, too. You'd love to have
another chance to humiliate me...

for the unpardonable sin
of finding you worth loving.

You can't stand it, can you?

It goes against everything
you believe about yourself.

God, Rain.

I'm sorry.

I was going to tell you that I love you
and that I want you.

I'm such an ass.

I had this marvelous seduction scene
all planned.

Poor darling.

You could still show me
how it would've gone.

What?

Look, he just went in.

- Let's meet him, okay?
- Okay, let's go.

We've got him all to ourselves.

It's cold.

Let me up here.

Careful! The undertow is strong.

- Help!
- All right, hang on! I'm coming!

I don't deserve to be this happy.

Why didn't all this happen years ago?

Because...

you weren't ready.

- I'm not sure I am now.
- Too late.

Where are you going?

I bought you a Christmas present
in the market.

Just in case you did come.

- What is it?
- Nothing.

Just some people on the beach.

I expect we'll hear all about it from Dane.

I'm so glad you're here.

It wouldn't be Christmas
without Anne and Luddie.

How many have we missed
in the last 20 years?

There.

- Watch your step.
- What do you think?

I think it's going to be
the best Christmas ever.

Luddie, you say that every year.

- I'll get it.
- Thank you, Judy.

You know, Luddie may be right this time.

I did think of having a do
for the whole district.

But I'm not certain Dane would want that.

I think it's best to wait
and talk to him first.

He said so little in his letter.

Mind you, Bob and Jack did say he seemed
very happy about coming home.

You don't seem quite as thrilled
as I thought you would be, somehow.

Anne, I am.

Of course, I am.

It's just that...

I hope it's what he really wants.

I hope he's not just doing it for my sake.

When he went to Ralph, I vowed
that I would never try to influence him.

Is that the reason you didn't go to Rome?

Which, by the way,
I personally haven't forgiven you for.

I know. Nor has Jussie, or the boys...

or Mom.

Although I think at least
she understands it.

It's just that....
I felt it would be tempting fate to go.

- Or tempting God.
- Meggie, how absurd!

I know.

Fancy what Jussie would make of it.

But I fought God so hard for so long...

that I wanted to show him finally...

that I could accept the fact
that Dane and Ralph are his not mine.

I sacrificed the chance to go
in hopes of making peace with God at last.

Don't question why Dane is coming home.

Take it as a sign of peace.

What's the matter?

Mom?

What is it?

Dane is dead.

No.

He's coming home.

Jussie telephoned.

He drowned.

He was trying to save somebody.

He's dead.

Father...

we entrust unto you...

Dane...

whom we loved so much in this life.

Welcome him into Paradise...

where there will be
no more sorrow or pain...

no more weeping...

but only peace and joy with your Son...

and with the Holy Spirit...

forever...

- and ever.
- Amen.

The Lord is merciful and kind...

and rich in mercy.

Man's days are like the grass.

He flowers like the flowers of the field.

The wind blows...

and he is gone...

and his place never sees him again.

How will we live without him?

We will.

Your God gathers in the good ones...

and leaves the living
to those of us who fail.

Your greedy God.

There is no peace with him.

Meggie, no. No more.

What can God do to me now?
What more do I have to lose?

Your soul.

Your heart.

Your love.

The love you've always had within you,
despite everything.

Despite everything but this.

I loved you, Ralph.

I never stopped loving you...

despite everything.

Despite the fact that you were never mine.

What part of you I got, I had to steal.

But that part was the best.

Because that part was Dane.

Dane was your son, too.

Yours and mine.

It isn't true.

He was your son, Ralph.

And you couldn't see it.

Couldn't see that he was just
a more perfect version of you.

Couldn't love me enough to see that
I would never have gone back...

to Luke or to any man after you.

And now you say it isn't true.

Poor Ralph.

Poor Cardinal de Bricassart.

It's no good, Rain. Let's just not
talk about it anymore, all right?

Mrs. O'Neill, your mother and I
would like to speak with you.

Please.

Meggie, Jussie's in a very bad way.

She's got it into her head somehow
that Dane's death is her fault.

She insists she must give up
the theater and me...

and stay here with you on Drogheda.

She won't listen to us
but if you will help her see that--

My son is dead!

How can you ask anything of me now?

Yes, Dane is dead and we also mourn him.
But you still have a daughter.

She needs you very much right now.

She needs to know
that you don't blame her...

so that she can take up her life again.

Mr. Hartheim, I don't know
why she feels to blame.

But Jussie has never listened
to anything that I had to say.

She feels to blame because
she sent Dane off swimming...

so that she could be alone with me.

I love her, Mrs. O'Neill.

And Dane died at the very moment...

she finally understood
that she could be loved.

If you won't help her, she'll waste
her life away here on Drogheda...

trying to make it up to you
for living while he died.

Mr. Hartheim, I should
like to speak to my daughter alone.

Of course.

For years I've sat by and watched you
do all the things that I did.

Crying for a man
that you could never have.

Giving all your love to his son,
the way I gave mine to Frank.

Neglecting Jussie, as I neglected you.

You've lived your life as I did mine.

Driven, always driven!

I don't know, and never will...

how much of our lives
we're allowed to choose...

how much is decided
long before we're born.

But looking back,
I see now choices I could've made...

and didn't!

Even after Paddy died.

Even after I lost Frank.

I might have asked your forgiveness
years ago.

But it's too late for me now, Meggie.

But it's not too late for you.

And it's not too late for Jussie,
if you'll help her!

I've always loved this place.

When I was little,
I used to make believe it was a stage.

My very own stage, where I was the star.

I never knew that.

No, you wouldn't.

No one did.

Except Dane.

Poor Dane.

I'd go on and on, and he'd applaud.

When I was little, I thought God lived here.

I'd steal in very quietly,
hoping to catch him out.

Sol could see him.

He was always too quick for me.

Do you know
I learned to dance on this very floor?

Your father taught me.

He laughed because I didn't know how,
even though I was 20-something.

Did you ever love him, Mom?

Not enough to marry him.

And I did wrong to marry him, Jussie.

And no matter
what he may have done to me...

he wasn't what I wanted,
and I couldn't love him for what he was.

Jussie, I've made you pay
so dearly for being his child...

and for so many of my other sins
that you know nothing of....

And now you think you have to pay
for Dane's death, too.

He was coming back to you.

- If it weren't for me, you'd have him back.
- Jussie, no.

I sent him out there all alone.

I didn't go with him.

- He was drowning, and Rain and I were--
- Jussie, it wasn't your fault!

Dane wasn't a child.

He wasn't your responsibility.

I don't know why
you always thought he was.

Because he was.

I did love Dane. Truly I did.

But I was always afraid that something
bad was going to happen to him.

Because I used to wish
that he were gone...

so you would love me instead.

I asked what more God could do to me.

Now I know.

Jussie, you must listen to me.

I do love you. I always have.

But I've always hurt you.

And I'm not going to hurt you now
by pretending that I didn't love Dane more.

1 did.

But you're no more to blame for that
than you are for his death.

Don't think of staying here on Drogheda.

Please, I need to be
what comfort to you I can.

It cannot comfort me to watch you
hand me your life like a sacrifice.

What I need most is your forgiveness.

You have your work.

And you have the love of a man
who will never break your heart.

That's more than
most of us get in a lifetime.

Don't give it up for anything.

And least of all for me.

But how can I leave you here...

- grieving for Dane and--
- You must. To give us hope.

A light has gone out.
Not just for me, but for all of us.

We will spend who knows how long
in mourning it.

But if you go, your light can burn for us.

Knowing that
will bring an end to our mourning.

My precious girl.

When we go there'll be no one.

Drogheda will go on with new people.

But there'll be no one left
to remember what it was like for us.

Best go out and see
how dry that grass has got.

I'll come out when I get back.

- Bye, Nana Fee.
- Come back next Christmas if you can.

Always.

Where's Ralph?

He isn't returning to Rome.

He asked that we go on without him.

He's very ill, Mrs. O'Neill.

He asked for you.

Be happy, Jus.

Thank you.

My Meggie.

I knew you'd forgive me.

I knew.

All your life...

I've watched you
wage your battles against God.

Yet you were always closer
to his desires for us than I.

In the end...

you've always been able to love.

For all you've lost...

you've never lost that.

Somewhere in me...

I must have known from the very first
that Dane was mine.

But I didn't want to know.

I wanted to be Cardinal de Bricassart...

more than I wanted our son.

More than I wanted you.

Of all the wrong I've done...

the worst is that I never made a choice...

for love.

Half given to you, half given to God...

but really given to my own ambition.

I knew it...

and I did it anyway.
I told myself it was meant to be.

Long ago...

I told you a story, a legend about a bird...

that sings only when it dies.

The bird with the thorn in its breast.

You said it pays its life for that one song.

But the whole world stills to listen.

And God in his Heaven smiles.

Driven to the thorn, with no knowledge
of the dying to come.

When we press the thorn to our breast...

we know...

we understand...

and still we do it.

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