All language subtitles for Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978)

Thank you.

So he wants to cut it off, just like
that.

He doesn't think you can handle it.

The arrangements have been concluded.

I gave them my word because he gave me
his word.

So you tell me why.

Hey, you know why.

You're not strong anymore.

You lost control.

Now, you tell him this.

Nothing has changed.

We've had a few setbacks.

That's to be expected in any business.

But I am still in charge, and I am still
strong.

Make no mistake.

You tell him he had better keep his
word.

Tell him the 25th has agreed.

I'll send him a sign, a little
demonstration, to prove that I'm still

Good afternoon, Mr. Duvier. Good
afternoon, Simone.

Any calls?

No.

What's this Dr. Herb called?

That's your yearly checkup, Tuesday at 4
.30.

Okay.

Is New York going to call back? Mm -hmm,
between 5 and 6.

Good.

Everybody else here? Yes, in the
boardroom.

Of course, Miss McGree.

Gentlemen, we have a problem.

The Gannett transaction is in jeopardy
because New York seems to feel I no

longer have the power to control the
situation.

So I have...

Sent word that I will give them a
demonstration a sign To

show that I am still in control that
France is still a viable territory

What I want from you are suggestions I

Have an idea All right, would you ask
your secretary to bring in the morning

paper?

Right away, sir.

Who is the most important man in France
today?

Present company, of course.

Thank you, Mr. McGree.

Well, the president, I suppose.

I know, for our purpose.

A man that New York knows even better
than the president of France.

A man with which our entire world
organization is familiar and would like

nothing better than to see him out of
the way.

Who?

Who has given us nothing but trouble for
the past ten years?

Who has survived 16 assassination
attempts?

Including two by his own boss.

Clouseau. You want to impress New York?

Eliminate Clouseau.

Eliminate Clouseau and we'll have every
cup in France done on a mix.

Not if we do it smart.

There is a rumor that he is really a
complete imbecile.

I've heard that.

Yet he continues to survive.

I have it on good authority that he is
anything but an imbecile. That he only

plays the fool.

In any case, it is too dangerous.

Can you do it smart?

Yes.

Then do it.

Okay.

We're ready!

the achievement, Inspector Clouseau. How
we have missed you. How we have missed

you. Your disguise is ready for the
final fitting.

I think you'll be very pleased. Connie,
Connie, quick, quick. Inspector

Clouseau, it's here.

I will model them for you. Get on with
it. Get on with it. I will bring you one

right. There was some on the left there.

Ah, the final fitting.

I call this one Wino.

And glasses.

Magnificent.

Even though I say to myself, this is no
small feat.

Now you can work the left bank M or not
with anonymity. Yes, yes.

The old anonymity.

That's it. You can do it, Inspector.

Chief Inspector.

You can walk, Chief Inspector. You can
walk.

Yes. Yes. You are a genius, Buds. I can.

I can walk.

Thank heavens.

For little girl.

Yes?

Thank you.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stop.

What's that?

Special delivery at

Bern. Were you expecting one?

Well, the bomb destroyed half the block
and Clouseau survived.

I am certain, sir, that the berm was
intended for me.

Berm?

That. You said berm?

Yes, yes.

Fortunately, Professor Ball took refuge
behind the new shipment of inflatable

goiters, which cushioned the force of
the explosion.

Inflatable goiters?

Yes, he's the Valentine's Day
collection.

It's amazing that you survived.

Yes, yes.

Yes, I must apprehend this Ned Benham
before he does any more of the damage in

here. Or she.

She? A man dressed as a woman.

Four armed robberies in three weeks.

Two of the victims were assaulted and
grappled with the robber.

Both the victims felt the robber was
much too strong to be a woman.

Three years ago, we sent to prison a man
named Claude Rousseau.

Rousseau committed robberies disguised
as a woman.

Well, sir, I must be off to apprehend
this mad dinner now.

Remember, it just could be Rousseau.
Yes, it just could be Rousseau, yes.

Yes, I just said that. Yes, I know that,
yes, sir. Well, sir, until we meet

again and the case is solved.

You may not have seen these gentlemen

before, but they have at one time or
another worked for you.

And needless to say, they are
specialists.

The best in France.

And you expect them to take care of
Clouseau?

Oh, no.

They've been contracted to eliminate Mr.
Chong.

Who the hell is Mr. Chong?

Mr. Chong.

Mr. Chong was recommended by Hong Kong.

Gentlemen.

Fulfill your count.

Why don't you get out of this wet
clothes?

You could catch pneumonia.

Yes, I know that, I know that.

I will do as soon as I get home,
provided that idiot Cato does not attack

first. Why don't you just tell him not
to?

Believe me, it's not that easy.

I have given him instructions to attack
me wherever and whenever possible, and

it has now become a matter of pride with
him to try to outsmart me.

I guarantee that at this very minute his
fiendish little yellow brain is

plotting some new ambush.

It's... He was onto it?

Yes, I knew that. I knew that.

Get up.

Get up!

The swine is not paying attention.

It's a very substantial building, but
you're doing a great deal to it. I'm

when it's finished you'll find it very
peaceful and quite delightful.

Chief Inspector Clouseau's residence.

Clouseau? One moment, please.

For you.

Excuse me, madame and messieurs.

your inspector.

Chief Inspector.

Pardon me, I need it on a tip.

Hello?

This is Chief Inspector Clouseau
speaking on the phone.

Now listen to me carefully, Clouseau.

If you want to catch the French
connection, meet me tonight at 11 o

the Bois de Boulogne near the Grand
Casca.

It's so obvious he's bound to think it's
a trap.

Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound
to think it can't be a trap.

It's so obvious it's bound to be a trap.

That is why you will never be a great
detective, Kato.

It's so obvious it could not possibly be
a trap.

Now, Kato, warm up the silver hornet.

Ito, I very much suspect that the Hornet
is overdue for a service.

So if you don't mind, I'll use your car
tonight.

Driving a white Peugeot.

License number is...

By

any chance, are you going to
Fontainebleau?

Well, I... Wonderful.

How lucky can a girl get?

You're an absolute darling.

It's green.

It is?

The traffic light.

Oh.

Well,

generally speaking, it's...

Dangerous. A beautiful girl like you to
be hitchhiking at night.

I know.

That's because, generally speaking,
beautiful girls like me don't carry

Are you

saying

that you carry a gun?

Mm -hmm.

I've got it in here somewhere.

It's not very big.

Watch it, my girl.

Only if you don't do exactly what I say.

Listen, Mr... Rousseau.

Rousseau? But you can call me Claude.

Claude?

Pull off the road.

The old... Pull off the road ploy, eh?

Yes, and then we will see how you do
with the old pick -off -all -your

ploy.

And if you do want to freeze to death,
you'd better put on the dress.

Never! Suit yourself.

But the dress is an original Dior. And
you've got sensational legs.

Yes.

Good,

thank you.

Why don't you just take that thing off
the hook?

It won't be necessary, my dear. The
great Inspector Clouseau will not be

bothering us anymore.

Hello, boys!

And my glasses!

And we are certainly glad to see you.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait a moment, wait
a moment. You know me, I'm Chief

Inspector Clouseau of the City.

And I am Officer Bardot. Bardot?

But you can call me Brigitte.

Brigitte, listen, Brigitte. You're
making an understandable mistake.

Don't let my legs fool you. I'm really a
man.

Listen.

The palace flag is lowered to half
-mast.

The president has declared a day of
national mourning.

Only a few hours ago, a great detective
stood in his very courtyard and was

decorated by the president for
outstanding service to his country.

According to the coroner's report, Chief
Inspector Clouseau was probably dead

before his car hit the telephone pole.

The president called me at six o 'clock
this morning.

A dozen countries have offered the
services of their finest detectives, but

president made it painfully clear that
this must be solved by Frenchmen and

quickly, or we can all hand in our
resignations.

I spoke with Dr. Le Praon at the
hospital, and he assures me that Dreyfus

completely cured.

It's amazing.

I've seen some lunatics in my time, but
they were all pipers compared with

Dreyfus. He was like a wild animal.

Didn't they actually bite you?

Oh, yes.

On the leg.

I had to take rabies shots just in case.

Well, the doctor swears that his
recovery is complete.

He said that in the last 12 hours,
Dreyfus has literally become a new man.

Thank God for that, because we need him.

If anyone knows about Clouseau and who
might have murdered him, that man is

former Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus.

Isn't it fantastic, Doctor?

reinstated at my former rank with no
loss of pay or social benefits.

Yes, it could actually be called a
psychic rebirth.

I'm in your debt. I shall be eternally
grateful.

I only helped. I led the way. And in the
final analysis, it was your victory,

Charles. Our victory, Paul.

But only at the expense of another.

Huh?

Oh, Clouseau, you mean.

It could be said that he died so that
you might live.

I wish I could feel sorry.

You feel no guilt?

None.

To be honest, when I first heard he was
dead, there were a few moments when I

was actually convinced I was in a state
of grace.

Is that wrong?

It is no matter of right or wrong.

Look, I hated him. He literally drove me
out of my mind, as you know.

Isn't it natural that I should feel...

Happiness, even joy at the thought of
him being dead, out of the way, and gone

forever. Naturally, yes.

But there is a danger that such feelings
might promote guilt.

Clouseau would come back, won't you? I
have no guilt.

Not now, not ever.

Clouseau is gone, and I am free forever.

There, have a cigar.

Thank you, Charles.

Well, I've made all the necessary
arrangements for your release.

Oh, because Lizzie is sending a car for
you to be picked up at 5 .30.

Remember, you are on probation for 12
months. If you have any problems, call

me immediately.

Thank you, Paul.

Listen to me, officer. You are making a
mysterious mistake.

Unless you release me immediately, I
will personally see to it.

You are transferred from Martinique,
where you will spend the rest of your

natural career writing traffic
citations.

and checking parking meters. The man who
was killed in that car, my car, Cato's

car, was not me. He was wearing my
clothes. Yes, these are his clothes.

I am Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

Myth or myth is?

You fool!

The president himself, when he decorated
me, said to Clouseau, you are a man of

courage. And he called me the greatest
detective in all of France.

Miss Charlatan?

Imposter! All right, calm down, Mr.
Poirot.

Poirot? Yes.

You can call me Hercule.

And I am the greatest detective in all
of France.

The greatest in all the world.

Oh,

that man is obviously crazy.

We do not use that word around here.

Oh, what do you normally use around
here?

Now, now.

He is very now, now, I can tell you
that. Court order.

I do need your signature on the top.

90 days.

Comprehensive. Thank you.

Psychiatric examination.

Hey!

Peek -a -boo.

Your car is at the entrance, Inspector.

Goodbye, Chief Inspector Dreyfus.

Good evening, Chief Inspector Dreyfus.

It's good to have you back on the job,
Chief Inspector.

Is it true that you will personally take
charge of the Clouseau investigation?

You must feel torn.

On the one hand, it is your duty to send
the guilty parties to the guillotine

for killing Clouseau.

On the other hand, I'm sure you'd rather
congratulate them, eh?

Can you imagine a state funeral for that
idiot?

The president.

Big mysteries from all over the world
will be coming.

Why, there's a rumor the Pope might even
show up.

Yeah?

Pope?

What?

You said Pope.

Do you have a code?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I have the code in
the chest, you know.

Oh,

you sound terrible.

Do you want me to send you a doctor?

No, no, no. It's much better than it
sounds.

Anyway, I want to go directly to the
closer apartment to commence the search

the clues, you know.

Yes, sir.

This is the Cluseau residence?

Yes.

This is also the residence of the
Cluseau manservant, Keter Tharn?

Yes.

Then be so good as to tell him that I
wish to have speaks with him, would you?

And who should I say wish to have speaks
with Mr. Tharn?

Tell him it is an old friend.

Mr. Fung has many old friends.

Listen, you.

Tell him it is Chief Inspector.

Close the door.

Why didn't you say so in the first
place?

Please come in.

Good evening.

And congratulations.

What? You are our first Caucasian, and
that entitles you to a 10 % discount

until midnight.

Who are you?

Mrs. Wu.

But you can call me Madam.

Yes? Inspector Clutha.

Ah, please come in.

Madam? Welcome.

Good evening.

Please, make yourself at home.

That man just called himself Inspector
Cluzel.

It was Mr. Fong's idea.

But personally, I think we should have a
better password.

Password?

Madame, I demand to know exactly what is
going on in here.

Well, just about anything your little
heart desires.

But first, why don't you relax?

Give Benson your hat and your coat.

Have a drink, get to know the girls, and
then, when you are up to it, you can

choose from a wide variety of exciting
little diversions.

But I see that you already have a
preference.

Allow me to

introduce... Tanya, the lotus eater.

What else does she do?

I warn you, Tanya, the eater lotus, I am

opposed to the women's league.

Man is the master, and women's place is
in the home.

And another round eye bites the dust.

Wow.

Let me tell you this. I am not your
ordinary round -of -the -mill

Say no more!

What? What was all that talk about
arresting us? He was just kidding.

you, boss?

What? I used to work for him. He used to
be a cop. A cop?

Tell them you were kidding, boss.

Yes, he's right.

I was just kidding.

Trust my heart and hope to meet you
again sometime.

And you?

Madame, and you too, you too should be
ashamed of yourselves.

And you, I want to talk to you.

Come in here.

Listen now.

Please, boss, I thought you were dead.

So, as a tribute to my memory, you open
up this... this Chinese nookie factory.

I had to do something to keep busy.

Besides, a first -rate joint like this
can make as much as three, four hundred

thousand a year.

Is that net?

No, gross.

But even so, a smart operator can clear
himself a couple of hundred grand, and

that ain't exactly chicken feed.

No, no.

And ten years on Devil's Island ain't
exactly the chicken's feed either, my

greedy little yellow pimp.

Well,

I'll have to close up anyway now that
you're alive.

Yes, yes.

Normally, that is precisely what you
would have to do.

But these are not normal times, Cato.

Someone has just tried to kill me.

That's normal. Ah, but it's time that
someone thinks he has succeeded.

Except for you and me, the whole world
believes that I am dead.

And in this case, death has its
advantages.

No one will know it is me as I glide
through the underworld like a shadow.

Good evening, Commissioner.

Charles!

I, uh... Thank you.

I'm sorry to be late, but as you must
have heard, some lunatic was hiding in

closet. Yes, Russo.

Russo?

Russo.

Ah, you remember.

Why wouldn't I remember? It was only
three years ago.

Of course.

Claude Russo.

Alias Claudine Rousseau, armed robbery,
dressed as a woman.

But he got five years.

Ah, he was released on parole three
months ago.

Ah, so it could have been Rousseau.

He's clever.

Clever enough to fool Francois?

I like Francois, but fooling him no
longer constitutes an act of

more than average cleverness, shall we
say.

I always thought he was rather a good
policeman.

When he was my assistant, he was a very
good policeman with a bright future.

But then he was assigned to Clouseau.

Oh, now, now, now, Charles.

All that's in the past.

Yes, of course.

Tomorrow morning, when they plant him
six feet deep and shovel in the dirt, I

shall be truly free.

Unless he's figured out a way to come
back from the dead.

Nothing that anyone does or says about
him will ever make any difference again.

Shall we do some work?

That reminds me.

What is it? The chief thinks that you
should give the eulogy.

The what?

The tribute.

Me? You knew him intimately.

I hated him intimately.

But you're the expert who's going to
track down his murderers.

I'm the expert who would love to... To
kill his murderers, don't you

Now, the PR people loved the angle.

Sacrilege. I won't do it. Politics.

No. I'm a good Catholic.

So is the chief's wife.

I don't care what she got to do with it.

She wrote the speech.

Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests,
dear friends.

We are gathered here to say goodbye to
a...

a great man.

Not only was he a model police officer,
a brilliant detective,

admired and respected by his fellow
officers,

And all those who were fortunate enough,
enough,

enough to know him, he was, above all
else,

a modest man.

His kind will not pass this way again.

And our loss is surely heaven's gain.

Rid of that woman?

Talk about it later. I want your answer
now or I sue for divorce.

I'm warning you, Teresa.

What are you going to do? Have me
killed?

Amen.

Gentlemen, you will be relieved to know
that our friend in New York was very

impressed by our little demonstration.

It was a good idea, Guy.

The Gannett transaction is on again.

The same delivery date? Unless something
is happening I don't know about.

I spoke to Hong Kong. They say the
garrot's right on schedule.

Good. That means, gentlemen, that this
time next week we can declare ourselves

very healthy dividend, letting our
international colleagues know that the

Connection is back in business.

In the meantime, I'll be out at the
farm, and I do not want to be contacted

except in extreme emergency.

Meeting adjourned.

Stick around, will you? I might need
you.

Miss Legree, would you come in here for
a moment, please?

You know what's wrong with you?

We have to stop seeing each other.

Your wife?

That witch.

Okay, how long this time?

I'm afraid this time permanently.

Permanently?

Permanently? Yes.

Permanently? Well, look, she gave me an
ultimatum. An ultimatum? What do you

mean? You're sitting there like you
don't have any choice in this matter.

I have. Well, you have, too. Get rid of
her. Get rid of her. Yes, get rid of

her. My own wife. Your own wife. Get rid
of her. Out.

Why can't you do that? Well, she's got
enough evidence in her safety deposit

to ruin me, and her attorney has been
told that if anything accidental happens

to her, to take the contents of the box
and give it to the authorities. Well,

then get rid of the authorities. Get rid
of the authority? Yes, get rid of the

authority. What do you think I am? Get
rid of her attorney.

Get rid of her attorney.

I couldn't afford the scandal.

Scandal? I'll show you what scandal is.

It's not that I love her. You know that
I don't love her. I just, I need her

respectability.

Permanently?

Yes. You mean six years together, just
like that, just washed up, just over

with?

I'm afraid so. I'm sorry. Well, that's
just wonderful, isn't it?

And you honestly can't go on being my
secretary now.

I have deposited a substantial amount of
money in your bank account.

Philip, I don't want your money. Well,
what do you want? I don't know what I

want.

Leaving early, Mr. Gray?

Later than you think, Mr. Gray.

Something you want me to do?

Not unless she decides to be indiscreet.

If you have to, just be sure you make it
look like an accident.

salty Swedish sea dog out there from the
salty seas in there.

From the air and in the garden.

Not the garden, but it is me.

What do you have of special interest

to my secret investigations?

There's something big going down at Le
Club Foot.

Le Club Foot?

Remarkable.

Oh, 16 chests on the dead man's arm.

Oh, in the bottle of the chest, drink to
the devil's...

If you do, V .A., why don't you go give
him a call?

I mean, I wouldn't want you to get in
trouble with your boss.

He ain't my boss. He ain't? Well, then
why are you paying him all that money

every month?

Oh, that ain't cool, baby. Oh, you ain't
seen nothing yet. Come on.

Where are we going?

If you don't want to be obvious, we're
going to make our entry through the back

way in disguise as I told you, you
fools.

Get up here. Get up here.

It's a bakery.

I know that.

I know that.

Come on.

You're not yellow anymore.

Now, this time I'm going to stand on
your shoulders.

What good would that do?

Because I'm taller than you are, you
fool.

Oh, yeah.

Make a cradle.

Get rid of that.

You love to find something to stand on.

Yes, I have received considerable
support.

Wet clothes before you catch your death.

Yes.

What should I do with my coat? I don't
want to spoil your beautiful... Oh, just

put it down anywhere.

Put it on the floor. That's fine.

All right.

Help yourself.

Sure. I'm going to change. I'll bring
you a room.

You know, it's strange.

What?

I say it's strange.

Yes, I know, and I said what.

Oh, you mean what is strange?

Yes. Yes, yes.

It's strange that I have never yet set
foot in this building,

but I have the distinct impression that
I have been here before.

Deja vu. I have it all the time. We are
deja vu.

Thank you. Oh, you're welcome.

You okay?

Yes.

Ah, that feels good.

Well, you know, it's not going to do you
much good if you don't take your pants

off. What?

Don't take your pants off. Look at me.

Look at me. Look at my... Look, I'm
shaking like a lady.

I can't stop shaking. I don't know...
Oh, I know what it is. You know what it

is? What?

I just... I'm just not used to being
killed.

No. I mean, that's my first time, you
know. I know.

But listen, when you have been killed as
many times as I have, you'll get used

to it, believe me.

Really? Yes. Oh, yes, yes.

Yes, indeed. I'll put this here. Well,

cheers. Cheers.

Cheers.

Oh, this is for you. Oh, yes. Yes, of
course.

Then this must be yours. Oh, thank you.
Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers.

Yes, anyway.

You have nothing to fear. Yes, I have.

No, you don't. Yes, I have. No, no, you
don't. Yes, I have.

Yes, you see, I am an officer of the
law.

The law?

What?

You said you are an officer of the law?

That is correct, yes, yes. I am a chef
inspector of the sultan.

Why?

You doubt me.

No, I don't doubt you.

Why should I doubt you? I don't know.
That's right. Why should you? If you say

so, I don't.

And who were those two men who tried to
kill you?

Killers.

Killers? How do you know? I know because
they worked for Duvier.

Duvier? Duvier.

I know that name. Of course you know
that name. Everyone in France knows that

name. He's a millionaire businessman.

Oh, yes, of course. Duvier, the
millionaire businessman. I knew, I knew.

But how many people do you think knew?

Duvier, the millionaire businessman, is
also Duvier, the French connection.

How many?

Well, I suppose his mother for one.

Why do you suppose he wanted to have me
killed?

Elementary, he wanted you dead.

Oh!

You all right? I'm sorry about your
head.

Oh, that's all right.

Tell me about this.

Duvier.

I was his mistress and I was his private
secretary for two years. I know enough

about Philippe to send him to prison for
his whole life.

You keep talking about this Duvier.

But Philippe, who is Philippe?

Philippe Duvier.

His son? Whose son? Duvier. He has no
son.

His brother then?

His brother's name is Fred.

Then it has to be his father. His
father's dead.

Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Then
who killed him? No, and he died of

causes. Then who is this Philippe?

I want to see some identification.

Huh? Right now.

Huh? Right now. Right now. I want to see
some identification.

If you're not a policeman, then I
shouldn't be telling you any of these

Can you keep a secret?

I don't know. That depends.

Embrace yourself for what I'm about to
tell you.

I am none other than Inspector Jacques
Clusel.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am. No, you're not.

I am.

You're not.

I am. You're not. You are not.

No. No, you're not.

Yes, you are.

Yes, I admit it's not a very good
photograph, but... But I saw your

television. Yes, yes.

Even the pep was there.

Cheers.

But if you're not dead, who's dead?

The wandering transvestite took my car
and stole my clothes of gunpoint.

I have been working under the covers
tracking the killer.

Who? The killer's Dillier.

What? Yes.

He wanted to... Impress the godfather.

What? You mean Duvier killed a wandering
transvestite just to impress his

godfather? Yes.

That man's unthinkable.

Don't worry.

What's wrong with it?

waiting in my room. The other one? How
do you know there's another one? The

assassins always travel in pairs. It's a
company rule.

Do you know what the Gannett transaction
is?

The Gannett transaction?

What is that?

It's a code name for a 50 million franc
heroin sale.

50 million francs? Yes. Philippe's going
to Hong Kong on Tuesday to meet with

the American body.

Dreyfus lives here.

I think he'll receive the vent.

Wake up, Chief Inspector.

Wake up. Chief Inspector.

Hello. Are you in there, Chief
Inspector?

Hello?

There's no reply.

There's no youth.

I think we will have to go to Hong Kong
without him.

We? Yes.

You, I, and Kato, who would translate
for us. Uh -uh, not me.

Not me. I am not going to Hong Kong. Are
you kidding me? Duvier would shoot me

on sight.

Not if he doesn't recognize you, and he
won't. Why not?

We will leave that up to the great
balls.

The great balls?

Please forgive the condition of my
establishment, but as the inspector

Chief. Chief inspector knows... I'm so
sorry.

But as the chief inspector knows, we
were bound.

Bound like you still are.

Almost all my collection was either
destroyed or damaged. Starting Monday, I

have to have a fire sale.

Oh, you've been called the great ball of
the fire.

A catchy suggestion.

Tammy!

I can't tell you how good it is to see
that you are still

alive. It has been my privilege to serve
the good inspector, the chief

inspector, for all these many years.

Ferdinand, to be precise, and his
reported demise.

Was there real war to me?

Something's coming.

Yes, yes, Canny. You are not dreaming.

Our friend, our customer is alive.

Hello, Canny.

Now, how can I help you?

Through wind and mud, snow and hell,
whether long or short, dark or pale,

remember that when duty calls, you've
got to...

I got to sit down.

Yes, of course. Come, come, come.
Please, please, please.

Come along, come along. That's right,
that's right. There you are.

Sit, sit, sit.

Come, come, come. Sit, sit, sit, sit,
sit.

I'm not serious.

There has been no time to get the new
furniture.

Please believe me, since the blast, he's
much more comfortable. Please sit.

As a matter of fact, I've been sleeping
on him.

Ship, Inspector?

I'm leaving for Hong Kong first thing in
the morning.

Hong Kong?

Do you think you could pick me up some
cheap cool hats?

My dear Auguste, I need your best Hong
Kong disguise.

Also, I will need something extra
special in the Godfather line, you know?

Doctor, please, you must help me.

Is Clouseau real?

Or am I going mad again?

What do you think?

What do I think? What can I think?

If that nincompoop is really alive, and
the things I heard are true, he'll

probably be decorated again for rounding
up the biggest drug ring in France, and

I'll be a laughingstock.

That sounds reasonable.

What are you going to do?

What choice do I have?

I either commit myself and come back to
be locked up in here, or...

I go to Hong Kong.

I don't think I can do this. Of course
you can. Of course you can. Just think

yellow and follow me.

Absolutely ruined my suit.

What the hell did you look at your
carry?

Yes, I... I'm Mr. Elgo.

When Mr. Scalini arrives, have me paged
in the bar. Certainly, Mr. Elgo.

Who is going to pay for my suit?

Did you see that man? Did you see that
man that was right there? That's Guy

Elgo, the leaf's right -hand man.

This Scalini must be Mr. Big from New
York.

Listen, we'll go up to the room.

You stay here ten minutes, then tell
Mr., um... Right, yes, yes.

The Mr. You -Know -Who has arrived, and
bring him to the room.

Mr. You -Know -Who?

Right. I will be Mr. You -Know -Who. Get
it? Right. Coming, Lloyd.

I've got a reservation for Scalini.

He's Mr. Ogle in the bar. Tell him Mr.
Scalini's here.

This is Galini in London.

Cochon. No, no.

Fungu.

You heard what I said to him?

Yeah. Dumb Frenchman.

Cochon. That means pig.

Tell Mr. Scalini you're here.

Listen, boss. Boss, it's me. Me.

Oh, where is he? He's in the bathroom
getting to his godfather's disguise.

Algo's in the next room.

Scalini's just down the hall in the town
suite.

Marvelous. We rode up with him in the
same elevator.

Maybe I can reach him before he contacts
Philippe. What are you going to do? I'm

not sure, but you get in there and keep
your eye on Algo.

I... Please.

Soda? Yes.

I hope it's not too strong.

I'm sure it will be fine.

Spaghettino to Al Pacino. Hey, Colin,
Ken, and me, I've got a little business

talk to you about.

Where one belongs, have another drink.

I

don't

know.

Hello, Mr. Martoni.

Hey.

Come on in. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Can I get you a
drink? Oh, no, nothing. Thank you.

It's, uh, Simone. Oh, you really have a
good memory.

Yeah, well, I never forget a pretty
face.

Hey, boss, this is Simone.

That's Duvet's personal... Secretary,
how do you do, Mr. Scalini?

We never met before. No.

Now, if we meet before, you call me
Julian.

That's a nice end.

Oh, thank you. That's only the right
one.

Yeah, you type, too. A hundred words a
minute.

Aye, my friend.

Listen, Mr. Duvier has asked me to
apologize. He's going to be a little

you like, I'll be happy to keep you
company until he arrives.

If I like.

This is my mother -cooked spaghetti.

So they can't have transactions.

Michelle,

I told Duvier we're on our way.

Don't forget the money.

What?

Throat?

Back?

Choking?

You want me to hit you on the...

Frank's a no -body guy.

Well, she's ready.

I take care of my body. My body takes
care of me. You know what I'm driving

you know?

I'll buy some cigarettes, huh?

Yeah, smoke a few.

I went to a beer show, so I'll meet you
in the lobby.

Right.

Hey, be right with you.

What the hell is going on here?

Leaky shipyard.

things are going to leak into the pod.

I can tell by your heartline that you're
a very passionate man. You see how long

this is?

Keep watching.

It's going to get longer.

Hello?

It was Duvier.

And the doorman heard him tell a driver
to go to the Leakey Shipyard.

Something is cacuzza around here.

You boys and a couple of boys just left
the hotel.

I wonder why they did that.

You got me.

Why don't we go ask him?

Yes.

Okay. Yes, I understand.

Okay.

Duvier left the hotel about five minutes
ago. He was with two men.

He told the driver to go to the Lee Key
shipyard.

I'm sure it was that nincompoop.

I'm sure Mr. Duvier didn't intend to be
gone very long. Now we see.

Well, it doesn't make much sense, does
it? I mean, if you leave and then he

comes back... Stop worrying. You give
yourself wrinkles.

What about this leaky shipyard?

Perfectly legitimate, as far as I know.

They build a line of expensive power
cruisers and sailboats.

Maybe Mr. Duvier is just buying himself
a yacht.

Yeah, that's what the Komisekyama said.
Come

on,

come on!

This is Mr. Chow, our Far Eastern
representative, Mr. Scalini.

It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Scalini.
You remember Mr. Algo, of course.

Shall we go?

This way, please. After you launch the
boat, we'll go up to Mr. Chow's office

and you can sign the ownership paper.
It's legal in the boat.

Well,

I understood you were tall.

No, sir, I'm tall by a decade.

Now, all you have to do is sail her
around the Caribbean for a while, haul

out of the water, take the midsection
out of the keel, and voila, 40 kilos of

the finest merchandise your experts have
ever tested.

Well, I tell you, it better have been
the best merchandise, because my experts

certainly have tested something. We have
faith in our merchandise.

All right. Now, would you like to launch
her? I would be delighted.

September, the month for the vintage.

Congratulations!

But careful, I will arrest you all in
the name of the law!

Oh, let me get my hands on you.

Clouseau?

Yes?

Are you wounded?

No.

Fortunately, I was...

I'm so sorry I'm late. I was a little
worried about you. I have some rather

important police business to attend to,
you know.

Everything's all right? Oh, yes,
absolutely fine. Allow me to let you in

car.

Please.

Beautiful. It's rather neat, isn't it? I
call it the silver hornet.

It's a little overdue for service,
unfortunately.

Perhaps it's better to leave that there.

Well, it's a beautiful night. Why don't
we walk?

What an excellent idea.

I'm sorry about that.

Yes, it's quite all right.

My goodness, you look ravishing tonight.
Oh, yes, I know that. You know that?

Oh, yes, I know that. Yes, I knew that
you knew that. You did.

I knew you knew I knew that.

What made you decide to become a
detective?

Well, it's not something one decides
every day of the week, you know.

But in my case, it began when my great
-aunt was kidnapped and held for ransom

by an unlicensed Armenian phrenologist.

An Armenian phrenologist?

Yes, you know, a man who reads the bimps
on your head.

The bimps? What? You said bimps? Yes,
yes.

Have you ever heard of bimps?

I would guess that your best would make
excellent reading.

Do you mind if I read your book?

Thank you.