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[Hal] Previously on
Malcolm in the Middle.
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00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:10,420
[grunts]
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00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,800
-[grunts]
-[groans]
4
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:13,630
-[exclaims]
-[chokes]
5
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:14,930
[all grunt]
6
00:00:15,010 --> 00:00:17,510
-[all imitate monkey hooting]
-What are you looking at?
7
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,930
-[car horn honking]
-Whee!
8
00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:21,270
[groans]
9
00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:23,690
You've been stealing money
from the church?
10
00:00:23,770 --> 00:00:24,770
[groans]
11
00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:25,940
-[snarls]
-[gasps]
12
00:00:26,020 --> 00:00:27,150
[gasps, groans]
13
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:28,940
[electricity zapping]
14
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:30,980
-[whimpers]
-[laughs]
15
00:00:31,070 --> 00:00:33,320
-[gasps, screams]
-[gasps, groans]
16
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,910
You're going to put your hands
inside of Mommy
17
00:00:35,990 --> 00:00:37,990
and take out this baby!
18
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:42,250
[Hal] And someone actually
asked for more of this.
19
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,330
[♪ theme song playing]
20
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:48,460
♪ Life is unfair ♪
21
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:49,800
[♪ theme song concludes]
22
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,630
[♪ upbeat instrumental music playing]
23
00:00:51,710 --> 00:00:53,550
I really appreciate the opportunity.
24
00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:56,090
Everyone in my class
was after this internship.
25
00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:57,640
I fought tooth and nail for it. [chuckles]
26
00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,390
No problem, we are glad to have you.
27
00:00:59,470 --> 00:01:01,310
So, what do you guys do?
28
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,890
Well, we install computer systems
29
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:07,230
in grocery store chains
and food manufacturers
30
00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:09,570
to align their inventory software
31
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,480
with food banks and shelters
all across the country.
32
00:01:11,980 --> 00:01:14,360
So, instead of unused
food getting dumped,
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00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,740
it goes to people who actually need it.
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00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:18,530
Got it. And what is a food bank?
35
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:23,250
Maybe watch our video
a few more times. [chuckles]
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00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,710
[♪ jovial instrumental music playing]
37
00:01:27,790 --> 00:01:29,460
Yeah, I look different.
38
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:32,380
But hey, everything about me
is different.
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00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,720
I'm happy, I'm successful,
40
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,220
I've learned to work
productively with idiots.
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00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:40,390
My life is fantastic now. [chuckles]
42
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You wanna know how I did it?
43
00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:45,770
All I had to do is stay
completely away from my family.
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00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:47,940
-[♪ upbeat hip-hop music playing]
-♪ Here we go ♪
45
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,870
[♪ music concludes]
46
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You know, I think you are
finally beginning to thin out.
47
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:05,620
-Oh.
-These things have lasted for six months.
48
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,160
You know, I can call back later.
49
00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:09,330
Come on, Dewey, you've seen this
like a thousand times.
50
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:13,300
It's just a normal human body
doing normal human behavior.
51
00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:14,380
Under growth.
52
00:02:16,210 --> 00:02:18,130
How's the concert tour? [blows]
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00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:20,470
-[Hal] Ooh.
-It's fine, but I'm really sorry
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00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:22,100
I'm not gonna make
your anniversary party.
55
00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:24,720
I'm sad too,
but you cannot turn down a chance
56
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:25,930
to play for royalty.
57
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,270
I mean, what if Carl Gustaf
58
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:29,310
wants to give you a knighthood
or a sword or something?
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00:02:29,390 --> 00:02:30,400
Is Jamie gonna make it?
60
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,940
I think so. He put in for a leave.
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00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:34,440
-Towel! Towel! Towel!
-[Hal] All right, all right, all right.
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00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,320
Trauma averted. Thank you.
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00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,400
-[razor buzzing]
-[Lois] Okay, let's tidy up.
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00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:41,450
-Hey, Dewey.
-Hi, Kelly. How's school?
65
00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:43,240
Beneath me. How's Sonia?
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00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:47,080
Oh, um, it's not Sonia anymore,
it's Elizabeth. No, Annette!
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00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,290
Anyway, she's good,
we're really connecting.
68
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,250
Uh, we're gonna go shopping later.
69
00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:53,630
Do… them want to come?
70
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:57,510
Him can't come with we.
Us has homework.
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00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:59,220
Hey, he's trying. Don't mock him for it.
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00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,680
I'm not afraid of you.
73
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,550
-That's not--
-I get good grades.
74
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,800
I help around the house.
75
00:03:03,890 --> 00:03:07,470
I'm your only kid without a file
at the police station. I'm untouchable.
76
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,270
Yeah, well, it wouldn't kill you
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00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:11,650
to tell your father
you loved him every once in a while.
78
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,270
-I love you.
-Oh, that just sounds sarcastic.
79
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:18,240
-I love you.
-Now you sound annoyed.
80
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,570
You kinda do. It’s your timbre.
81
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,740
I love you, I love you, I love you.
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00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,700
The middle one was nice, thank you.
83
00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:28,830
[♪ jovial instrumental music playing]
84
00:03:28,910 --> 00:03:32,120
So, back in college,
I completely turned my life around,
85
00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:35,340
because I realized the less contact
I have with my family,
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00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:37,300
the less I act like a sociopath.
87
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:42,090
I've become more patient,
less angry, way more mature.
88
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:46,220
Anytime I am around them,
it takes me, like, two seconds to revert.
89
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:48,810
For crying out loud,
I speak fluent Spanish!
90
00:03:48,890 --> 00:03:50,020
I know how to say "quesadilla"!
91
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,100
I don't know, it sounded like
you said "Koos-a-dill-a."
92
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,270
Mm, no, he said "Kwis-a-diya."
93
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:56,440
[in Spanish] ¡Siempre haces esto!
94
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,940
¡Intenta corregir a las personas por algo
de lo que no sabes nada!
95
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:01,990
¡Sé exactamente cómo
pronunciar quesadilla!
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00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:03,200
-[Hal laughs]
-[in English] Quesadilla!
97
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,450
[Lois] That's it, that's it.
98
00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:06,280
-That's how he said it.
-That's what I said! Quesadilla!
99
00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:11,750
[indistinct chatter]
100
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,500
Grandma's television was plasma.
101
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:16,000
I had to watch two episodes
of frickin' Dexter with her,
102
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,040
and it was obvious
from the rich deep blacks.
103
00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:21,170
You're insane. She bought
that TV in 2015, all right?
104
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,720
They already had full-array LEDs
105
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,720
with the same picture quality
for a quarter of the price!
106
00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:27,550
It's not showing off.
107
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,270
It's a completely sensible
mid-priced sedan.
108
00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,060
Why don't you just admit you're stuck up
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00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:34,560
and shoving your shiny new car
in my face to make me feel bad?
110
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,480
-Is this stuck up?
-[chuckles]
111
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,400
Is this showing off?
112
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:41,780
Is this me trying to make you feel bad?
113
00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:46,110
It's not them, it's me…
being around them.
114
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,080
So, I've arranged my life
to ensure absolute minimum contact.
115
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,750
My house is a two-layover flight
from anyone.
116
00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:55,330
I'm always swamped with work on holidays.
117
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,790
But I also create
the illusion of closeness
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00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,000
with effusive emails, and phone calls,
119
00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:02,260
and birthday cards,
saying how much I miss them
120
00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:03,670
and I can't wait to see them.
121
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,590
It's really important to me
not to hurt their feelings,
122
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,810
because then they'll make me
talk to them about it face-to-face.
123
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:12,970
[employee over PA]
Welcome to HugeMart where our deals are…
124
00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:14,680
We still need the 200-pack
of votive candles
125
00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:15,890
-and a thousand feet…
-[employee] …huge.
126
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:17,190
…of ruby tassel garland.
127
00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:19,770
-Oh, there's gold.
-No, 40th anniversary's ruby,
128
00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:21,940
not gold. Get in the game, Hal.
129
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,530
Hey, lovebirds.
130
00:05:24,610 --> 00:05:27,410
-I hid your mini disco balls.
-Thank you, Craig.
131
00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:30,950
They're in the cologne aisle
behind my signature scent.
132
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,620
-Which is…
-Suave Savage, for him.
133
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,790
-Already got it.
-[man clearing throat]
134
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:39,460
-Oh.
-So, how do you like the new job?
135
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,170
Well, my heart belongs to Lucky Aide,
136
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:46,510
but after they denied my promotion
and that mysterious, untraceable fire,
137
00:05:46,590 --> 00:05:47,840
I'm glad I found a new home.
138
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,180
[Hal] Lois, come quick.
139
00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:51,140
It's that famous celebrity you like.
140
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:52,640
[scoffs, chuckles]
141
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,270
-[Abe] Stand up straight.
-[Brian] I am stood straight.
142
00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:55,890
[Abe] No, no. [shushes] Three…
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00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,310
[♪ upbeat pop music playing]
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00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,100
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
145
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:01,820
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
146
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,400
[all grunt]
147
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,650
♪ Never had much faith in love
or miracles ♪
148
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:08,820
♪ Miracles ♪
149
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,450
-[all grunt]
-[glass shattering]
150
00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:13,700
♪ Never wanna put my heart
on the line ♪
151
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:16,830
[all grunt]
152
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:20,830
♪ But swimmin' in your water's
somethin' spiritual ♪
153
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,210
♪ Spiritual ♪
154
00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:23,380
[all grunt]
155
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:27,550
♪ I'm born again every time
you spend the night… ight ♪
156
00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:28,680
-♪ …ight ♪
-♪ …ight ♪
157
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,760
[all grunt]
158
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,220
♪ 'Cause your sex takes me to paradise ♪
159
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:36,060
♪ And it shows ♪
160
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,810
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
161
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:41,650
♪ 'Cause you make me feel like ♪
162
00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:44,980
♪ I've been locked out of heaven ♪
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00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,900
♪ For too long ♪
164
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,070
-Bop.
-[chuckles]
165
00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:52,450
♪ For too long ♪
166
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:56,410
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
167
00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:58,960
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
168
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,830
♪ Can I just stay here? ♪
169
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,750
♪ Spend the rest of my days here? ♪
170
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,920
♪ 'Cause your sex takes me to paradise ♪
171
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:12,590
♪ Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise ♪
172
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,970
♪ Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise ♪
173
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:19,180
[singing intensifies]
♪ 'Cause your sex takes me to paradise ♪
174
00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:22,480
♪ Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise ♪
175
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,150
♪ 'Cause your sex takes me to para-- ♪
176
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:26,690
-[mall worker screams]
-[man grunting]
177
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,360
[both grunt]
178
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,400
-[indistinct chatter]
-[both grunt]
179
00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:35,370
[Craig] That's it. Now it's my meatball.
180
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,790
Okay, let's take it from the sex part.
181
00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:39,330
-[indistinct chatter]
-[Lois] Guys,
182
00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:42,080
the moment was magical.
Let's not go past it.
183
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,420
It was lovely. [chuckles] Hal, thank you.
184
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:47,130
Well, it was just a little weird
two weeks before the anniversary--
185
00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:49,880
No! Before or after the party.
186
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,340
We agreed. You can do anything you want,
187
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,760
as often as you want, before or after.
188
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,060
The actual anniversary day is mine.
189
00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:58,970
-You promised.
-Under duress.
190
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:02,310
I'll promise anything
when you do that… thing.
191
00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:05,060
Hal, for 39 years
of anniversaries and birthdays,
192
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:07,570
and really every celebration,
193
00:08:07,650 --> 00:08:11,780
you… you do the most wonderful,
romantic, amazing, grand gestures.
194
00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:13,740
-The fireworks display?
-[chuckles]
195
00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:14,860
Releasing those doves?
196
00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,740
That should have been done outside,
197
00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:18,410
and away from the fan.
198
00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:21,080
And now, this once,
I wanna be the one deciding
199
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,620
how we celebrate,
and not have your plans just…
200
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,630
happen to me.
201
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:28,420
Uh, yeah, yeah.
202
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,800
Why don't you play with your friends
while I finish up?
203
00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:35,930
She makes it seem like
every little romantic gesture
204
00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:37,850
I've ever made is crazy.
205
00:08:38,890 --> 00:08:40,470
-Hmm.
-No, no.
206
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,100
But it won't hurt to let Lois
do it exactly the way
207
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:44,190
-she wants to for once.
-Oh,
208
00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:46,810
so, I just sit back, do nothing,
like I don't even love her?
209
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,150
No, no, no. Not on my watch.
210
00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:51,280
Hal, please.
You're the only one of us still married.
211
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,360
Do not break a promise to that woman.
212
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,320
I would never. Lois gets her day.
213
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,660
But until then,
every moment of every day,
214
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,240
I will show her so much love,
215
00:09:01,330 --> 00:09:04,250
she will run screaming at the sight of me.
216
00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:06,580
[♪ upbeat scat music playing]
217
00:09:06,670 --> 00:09:09,380
[singer scatting]
218
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,090
[blows kiss, laughs]
219
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,680
[♪ upbeat instrumental music playing]
220
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,680
Nice, right?
And this isn't even the best thing.
221
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,310
The best thing,
the best thing in the whole world
222
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:24,520
is who's inside it.
223
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,640
My daughter, Leah. [chuckles]
224
00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:29,310
She's kind of a trophy I won in college
for attending my first kegger.
225
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,770
She hates that joke.
226
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,070
Her mother, Dreamer…
Yes, her name is Dreamer,
227
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,820
ran off three days after giving birth,
228
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:40,240
so, single father.
229
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,080
But I'm good at it.
230
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,910
I just imagine what my parents would do,
231
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,160
and do the exact opposite.
It's not that hard.
232
00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:49,460
-[♪ music concludes]
-[gasps]
233
00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:51,500
[breathes heavily] I won't make it worse.
234
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,170
I won't make it worse.
235
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,840
[sniffles]
236
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,550
[♪ soft instrumental music playing]
237
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:59,720
Just so you know,
I don't cry like this all the time.
238
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,350
And I also do depressed apathy,
239
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:05,890
paralyzed embarrassment,
and impotent fury.
240
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,020
-It's a rich inner life.
-[door opens]
241
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,020
-[♪ music concludes]
-Sweetie, what's wrong?
242
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,860
Alison Gibgot invited me
to her birthday party.
243
00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:17,610
-Why is that sad?
-You want the list?
244
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,410
-I… I… I only meant--
-Alison and her friends
245
00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:20,490
did this as a joke.
246
00:10:20,570 --> 00:10:22,620
They know I know
they don't want me to go.
247
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,450
If I do go, they'll freeze me out
till I burst into tears,
248
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,750
and Daddy comes to get me,
which is what they really want.
249
00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:30,290
I'm completely isolated at school.
250
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,960
I've never had any friends.
251
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,210
And my personality,
252
00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:35,460
by which I mean your personality,
253
00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:38,170
makes it impossible
for me to ever have any.
254
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,510
Okay. Well, do you want my list?
255
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:44,010
You're intelligent,
you're beautiful, and--
256
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,180
and hardworking,
and incredibly perceptive, and--
257
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,480
Yeah, thanks for that too.
258
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:49,690
That's how I noticed every smirk,
259
00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:53,060
and slight and microscopic eye roll
aimed at me since first grade.
260
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,570
Why'd you have to be so gentle
with me growing up?
261
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:56,860
I have no armor!
262
00:10:56,940 --> 00:11:00,280
Leah, look, I am so sorry
you're going through this,
263
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,320
but I promise it'll get better.
264
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:05,120
It got so much better for me
once I went off to college,
265
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,790
so that's less than a… a decade.
266
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,630
It's actually worse when he tries hard.
267
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:14,920
[cell phone rings, stops]
268
00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:16,920
Why'd that make you nervous?
269
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,090
-What?
-[Leah] Your phone.
270
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:19,670
Why did that call make you nervous?
271
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,010
I'm not nervous.
272
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:22,970
It was just work, and we're talking.
273
00:11:23,890 --> 00:11:27,180
Maybe my concern for how upset you are
is coming across as nervous.
274
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,770
And why do you keep it so hot in here?
275
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,310
I wanna be alone now anyway.
276
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:34,060
Okay. [chuckles]
I'm not gonna smother you.
277
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:37,030
But I'm here for you.
[chuckles] Like always.
278
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:40,570
I love you. Really love you. [chuckles]
279
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:44,820
Love you so much.
280
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,330
[inhales sharply]
281
00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:49,410
[cell phone beeps]
282
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,370
[Lois over voicemail] Malcolm,
I need you to call me back today
283
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:52,580
about our anniversary.
284
00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:54,630
We have to know when you're coming,
and we know you're coming
285
00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:57,250
because you would never be
that monstrously inconsiderate.
286
00:11:57,340 --> 00:11:58,380
Love you.
287
00:11:58,460 --> 00:11:59,590
[line disconnects]
288
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:03,130
I didn't answer Dad's voicemail yesterday,
so I knew it would escalate to Mom.
289
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,260
I already wrote the email.
290
00:12:04,930 --> 00:12:06,300
"Sorry, I was in
emergency meetings till late,
291
00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:07,890
"and I just heard your voicemail."
292
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:10,520
I scheduled that to send at 02:16 a.m.
293
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,900
That way I look considerate for emailing
instead of calling her back.
294
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,690
Trust me, she'll check the timestamp.
295
00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:18,320
"I have to set up six more
food banks this month,
296
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,320
"but barring a crisis, I'll be there."
297
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,320
That's what's great
about running a charity.
298
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,120
Anything I say is a crisis, is a crisis.
299
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,240
For charity. [chuckles]
300
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,490
[♪ upbeat hip-hop music playing]
301
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:33,080
I scored the cut, dry-fitted twice,
so now I glue it down.
302
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,170
-Perfect. [chuckles]
-This is so easy, I had no idea.
303
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:37,880
I can't wait to start
the gazebo next week.
304
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,090
You know, Reese,
305
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:42,920
doing… these projects
together every weekend,
306
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,880
-I love it more than anything.
-Me too.
307
00:12:44,970 --> 00:12:46,180
[chuckles]
308
00:12:46,260 --> 00:12:48,050
I have to confess, though, that, uh…
309
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,720
this floor was fine.
310
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:54,390
You don't actually have
to rotate floor tiles
311
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,560
every six months.
312
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,560
-I know.
-You do?
313
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,020
But almost every job we've done,
314
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:02,570
the… the car,
the backyard irrigation,
315
00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:03,650
the washing machine,
316
00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:04,990
they didn't need to be done either.
317
00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:06,450
It's my favorite thing to do anyway.
318
00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,240
I'm spending a lot of money
fixing things
319
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,040
that don't need fixing.
320
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:16,080
And since this is really just
about us spending time together,
321
00:13:16,790 --> 00:13:18,790
-maybe we can do jigsaw puzzles or--
-No!
322
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,550
I know how to do puzzles.
323
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:24,050
You steal one piece,
so you're the only one that can finish it.
324
00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:26,010
We have to be building or fixing things.
325
00:13:26,090 --> 00:13:29,010
Whoa, son, whoa.
What's… what's going on?
326
00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:34,890
Dad, have you ever heard
of… a metaphor?
327
00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:38,020
Yes, Reese.
328
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:39,560
We all know my life sucks.
329
00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:43,320
I… I ruined my job, my marriages.
330
00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:45,700
I don't really have any friends.
331
00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:48,610
That's not the metaphor yet. Ready?
332
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,030
-Yeah.
-Things like gluing these tiles
333
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,910
so they fit together perfectly
334
00:13:52,990 --> 00:13:55,160
is a metaphor for me fitting
in with people.
335
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,960
And these tools are a metaphor for you,
336
00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:01,750
and all the things in life
you're teaching me.
337
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,710
Dad, you're a tool,
338
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,680
a tool to help me build my life back.
339
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,600
[sobs softly] I will always be your tool.
340
00:14:13,890 --> 00:14:16,100
-[♪ whimsical instrumental music playing]
-[school bell ringing]
341
00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:19,690
You know what's great about going
to a fancy private high school?
342
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,030
Nothing. It is the same emotional shithole
as every other high school.
343
00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:26,280
[indistinct chatter]
344
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:27,400
Leah!
345
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,860
-Hi, Alison.
-Did you get my invitation?
346
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:32,450
It's gonna be really fun.
Dad got an aura camera.
347
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,790
-I did. Thanks.
-Great. See you there.
348
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,500
[indistinct chatter]
349
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:46,130
[♪ whimsical instrumental music playing]
350
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:49,050
-Leah?
-Oh, hey, Cheyenne.
351
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:51,050
I couldn't finish my math homework.
352
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,680
Can you show me
how to do a slope intercept?
353
00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:55,770
Of-- of course. I don't mind at all.
I'm always happy to help.
354
00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,390
You know,
you don't have to panic about it.
355
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,480
I-- I wasn't panicking.
356
00:15:00,140 --> 00:15:02,270
Oh. It's just…
357
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,900
I can see where you've been
pulling out your hair.
358
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,440
I'm not saying you pull out your hair.
It's-- it's probably just ringworm.
359
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:10,570
And that's easy to fix.
Eight weeks of fungicide pills.
360
00:15:11,070 --> 00:15:12,700
Because it's not an actual worm
inside your head.
361
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:14,240
It's a fungus.
362
00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:16,870
[♪ music concludes]
363
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:20,210
Oh, God, what do I do?
Make it seem like I was joking?
364
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:24,920
-[laughs heartily]
-[student 1] Leah, stop it.
365
00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:27,630
Come on. [speaking indistinctly]
366
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,170
[student 2]
What is wrong with her?
367
00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:30,800
I'm really sorry about the whole thing.
368
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,720
You othered Cheyenne
in view of the peer group.
369
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,350
Yeah, I knew I was upsetting her and--
370
00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:38,270
and I was trying to fix it,
but I kept making it worse
371
00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:40,600
because right before,
other girls hurt my feelings,
372
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,350
so I-- I wasn't thinking clearly.
373
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,230
I'm not blaming them.
They-- they can't help it.
374
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,940
Robert Sapolsky
has pretty compelling research
375
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:49,530
that endorphin levels actually spike
when members of an in-group
376
00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:51,650
exclude or attack
members of an out-group.
377
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:53,950
At least with chimpanzees.
378
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:58,410
He's on YouTube.
379
00:15:59,370 --> 00:16:00,660
[tattoo gun buzzing]
380
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,540
[♪ upbeat scat music playing]
381
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:06,630
[singer scatting]
382
00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:12,760
Once a week, he'll stand
in the front yard shirtless and flex.
383
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,720
[♪ music concludes]
384
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,430
[♪ upbeat instrumental music playing]
385
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,930
Get ready. You're going to see
something shocking.
386
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:24,020
Hey, I'm proud of us.
387
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,360
We actually got all the way
to the bed before we went at it.
388
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,650
Huh.
389
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,440
[chuckles softly] Tristan. My girlfriend.
390
00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:34,160
I-- I mean, it is so much more than that.
391
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,620
She loves me.
392
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,530
I know, it sounds like a lie to me too.
393
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:42,120
[sighs] Now, how was your day?
394
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,290
It was good.
395
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,170
We won the Grovenor Innovation Grant.
396
00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:47,750
-I beat an AI.
-[chuckles] Dude,
397
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,800
you don't have to keep proving
how smart you are.
398
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,300
I really don't care. [gasps]
399
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,880
Oh, uh, except for my taxes.
That was awesome.
400
00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:55,640
So, what do you care about?
401
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:58,300
I care that you always listen to me.
402
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,390
And that you're supportive.
403
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,430
And that you keep your promises.
404
00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:06,980
And mostly I care that you understand
405
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:12,530
in a deep and complete way
who I am, inside.
406
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:17,240
And you love me anyway.
And I am so grateful for that.
407
00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:20,580
Jesus, I thought
we were just doing banter.
408
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:23,500
-[Tristan chuckling]
-[cell phone beeping]
409
00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:24,870
I gotta get home.
410
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,880
She's gonna like me, right?
411
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,920
Are you kidding? Leah's going to love you.
412
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,010
-You're as worried as I am.
-What makes you say that?
413
00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:35,840
Because you know
that if she doesn't like me,
414
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,300
we can't move forward.
415
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,510
I mean, eventually we'd have to break up.
416
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,430
But I have so many plans to prevent that.
417
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,310
Uh, mutual-interest outings,
weekly kindness days, shared journaling.
418
00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,810
There's one where you hold on
to the end of a yarn ball
419
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,570
and you pass it back
and forth to each other
420
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:53,190
and you keep saying nice things
and and you keep throwing it
421
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,450
until you guys are both tied up
really tight together in the yarn.
422
00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:00,160
I'm betting on us. I…
423
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,580
Look, you can make friends
with anyone. I've seen it.
424
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,450
And it's obvious
how much we love each other.
425
00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:06,710
Leah's gonna see that,
and she's gonna want to be a part of it.
426
00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:08,580
I don't know. [sighs] When I was her age,
427
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,290
I hated myself and everything
in my field of vision.
428
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:13,130
So, she'll outgrow it?
Can we wait for that?
429
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,380
No. No.
430
00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:18,800
It is past time we did this.
We're doing it.
431
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:19,890
Okay. [chuckles softly]
432
00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:23,100
-[♪ upbeat scat music playing]
-You're also honest
433
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:25,980
-and sincere and sensitive.
-[chuckles softly]
434
00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,230
Not to mention in bed.
435
00:18:27,310 --> 00:18:33,070
The way you combine enthusiasm
and startling physical strength
436
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:36,190
with a clear understanding of nuance.
437
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,990
Yeah. Hi.
438
00:18:38,070 --> 00:18:39,070
[♪ music concludes]
439
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,120
Tristan likes green,
so maybe wear your chinos.
440
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,530
She went to private school too,
so you can talk about that.
441
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,910
And-- and politics just makes her upset.
442
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,040
Movies. She can talk about them all day.
443
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,210
But she loves rom-coms,
so don't you say anything snotty.
444
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:53,500
You can write this down if you want.
445
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:56,550
I would, but my pen is busy
doing actual homework.
446
00:18:56,630 --> 00:18:58,170
-[chuckles] Sweetie--
-So, when do I yell,
447
00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,220
"I want my real mommy,"
and run out in tears?
448
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,510
I'll surprise you.
449
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,890
Please, this is important to me.
450
00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:06,890
Dad, I get it.
It's your only chance for love,
451
00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:10,310
and I have complete control
over your future happiness.
452
00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:12,940
Every parenting book
453
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:15,150
-says I shouldn't let you believe that.
-[cell phone chimes]
454
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,690
[♪ tense instrumental music playing]
455
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,490
Kelly, where are you?
What can I do? Are you okay?
456
00:19:21,570 --> 00:19:23,280
-What's the matter?
-That I have to make up a lie
457
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:24,910
to get my own brother
to answer the phone.
458
00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:26,200
You have to promise me
459
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,620
you'll come to Mom
and Dad's anniversary.
460
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,870
-Kelly, I'm trying.
-[Kelly] Hey, listen to me.
461
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,630
All they talk about is whether
or not you'll be there.
462
00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:35,000
They're old, Malcolm.
They could die any second.
463
00:19:35,630 --> 00:19:37,420
Decapitated in a car wreck,
464
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,090
slowly choking to death on a respirator
from some lingering illness,
465
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,760
stabbed over and over
by some drifter they took in…
466
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,310
Clock is ticking, busy boy.
You can do this for them.
467
00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:48,560
I am doing everything
I can to be there,
468
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,350
but my charity just has me
so busy all the time.
469
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:52,810
So, you can figure out
all this advanced infrastructure
470
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,730
for hundreds of charities
and corporations,
471
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:57,650
but even after six months' notice,
you can't plan half a day off?
472
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,400
Wow, that's almost Mom-level.
473
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:03,910
Okay, at their age,
they're a little self-righteous,
474
00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:06,120
simultaneously overconfident,
and insecure.
475
00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:09,370
Validate their intentions
and blow some smoke.
476
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:11,960
Look, I am glad that you see
how important this is for Mom and Dad.
477
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,960
They are lucky to have
you looking out for them.
478
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,340
Other kids your age
aren't half as perceptive.
479
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:19,170
What? I'm-- I-- I-- I'm on the pho--
480
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,840
Okay.
481
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,550
Look, I am so sorry,
but I do have to get back to work.
482
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:26,300
But don't worry,
I'm sure I can be there. Love you.
483
00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:27,850
Hey, Linda,
can you print me that report?
484
00:20:27,930 --> 00:20:29,220
-[cell phone beeps]
-[sighs]
485
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:32,060
With that one, you gotta get in and out
before they can think too much.
486
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,690
How do you not allow glitter?
You're a party venue.
487
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,610
I just want a couple of handfuls
488
00:20:37,690 --> 00:20:39,940
for people to toss
during our spotlight dance.
489
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,400
-[groans] Okay, so no glitter.
-[pen scribbling]
490
00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:46,070
Did our monogrammed cocktail
stirrers with the little hearts,
491
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,160
did they come in?
492
00:20:47,910 --> 00:20:51,250
No, no, they come with
the Radiant Elegance Package.
493
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,540
The Radiant Mystique Elegance Package?
494
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:56,830
How much does that cost?
495
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,510
[whispers] Okay, just do it!
496
00:21:02,590 --> 00:21:04,300
-[cell phone beeps]
-Such nonsense.
497
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:06,510
I'm sorry to be taking
all the attention away
498
00:21:06,590 --> 00:21:07,720
from your 40th birthday.
499
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,560
[chuckles] Mom, I'm 39.
500
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,140
I was born on your first anniversary,
not your wedding day.
501
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:16,850
Thirty-nine? [laughs, snorts]
502
00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:18,230
-[chuckles]
-Of course you are.
503
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,440
Hey, how are you guys enjoying
the new guest suite?
504
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,610
The garage?
505
00:21:21,690 --> 00:21:24,820
Yeah, once we unpacked the bags,
stomped a few spiders,
506
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:27,280
got the plastic tarp
off the bed, it was real homey.
507
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:28,740
Me and Dad did all the renovations.
508
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:30,660
Your brother's become
quite the handyman.
509
00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:32,080
Well, it is great.
510
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,330
A heads-up the toilet wasn't connected
would have been cool.
511
00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:37,290
You know, we could afford a motel.
512
00:21:37,370 --> 00:21:39,170
Absolutely not. We love having you here.
513
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,340
Besides, you gotta save up some money
until you get a solid job.
514
00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:45,760
Mom, I've been there 15 years.
I'm senior management.
515
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,510
I have 75 people under me.
516
00:21:47,590 --> 00:21:49,850
That's 75 people plotting to replace you.
517
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:53,680
And you need to retie your bows.
They need to be droopy.
518
00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:56,350
-They droop.
-They need to droop languidly.
519
00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:58,020
Look at your father's.
520
00:21:58,100 --> 00:22:01,320
Your knots are too crisp. Use baby hands.
521
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,690
Why don't you criticize his bows?
522
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,320
Those aren't languid, they're turgid.
523
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,320
[whispers] Dad likes me
better than you now.
524
00:22:06,990 --> 00:22:08,490
Did you ever talk to Malcolm?
525
00:22:08,570 --> 00:22:10,830
No, we keep trading emails
back and forth.
526
00:22:10,910 --> 00:22:13,950
I know he's doing good things,
but he is gonna work himself to death.
527
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,330
I just got off the phone with him.
528
00:22:16,620 --> 00:22:19,080
He's not coming.
529
00:22:19,170 --> 00:22:22,000
[♪ dramatic sting]
530
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,500
[♪ cheerful instrumental music playing]
531
00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:25,260
-[breathes heavily]
-Okay. We can do this.
532
00:22:25,340 --> 00:22:27,170
-It's going to be great.
-[exhales] Love you.
533
00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:28,510
Love you. Do you need to pee?
534
00:22:28,590 --> 00:22:30,970
No. Yes. No. No.
[breathes heavily, chuckles]
535
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:33,470
-[speaks indistinctly]
-[whispers indistinctly]
536
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,560
-[door opens]
-Leah, we're here.
537
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:36,730
[door closes]
538
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:39,350
Leah, this is Tristan.
539
00:22:42,190 --> 00:22:43,190
Hi.
540
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,730
Hi, Leah. [chuckles softly]
541
00:22:49,530 --> 00:22:50,870
[dogs barking in distance]
542
00:22:50,950 --> 00:22:53,620
Good. We're-- we're easing in slowly.
543
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,660
There's no rush. [chuckles nervously]
544
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:01,380
So, how much did he prep you?
545
00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:04,130
[♪ whimsical instrumental music playing]
546
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:07,510
When you were four,
547
00:23:07,590 --> 00:23:09,380
you tried to scare Miss Rachel
into cancelling preschool
548
00:23:09,470 --> 00:23:11,140
by saying her mole didn't look right.
549
00:23:11,220 --> 00:23:12,300
[chuckles softly]
550
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,600
You have to twist your hamburger bun
exactly three times
551
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,140
so the condiments smear evenly.
552
00:23:21,350 --> 00:23:23,900
You refused an award
from the State Young Scientist Challenge
553
00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:25,980
because you thought
it would make you a famous nerd.
554
00:23:26,070 --> 00:23:28,400
[laughs] You love being
a physical therapist,
555
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,820
but you are grossed out
when you have to touch old people.
556
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,200
[both laugh]
557
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,660
You fly into a spitting rage
if you do Wordle in three.
558
00:23:34,740 --> 00:23:36,120
-[laughs]
-[laughs] I do.
559
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,910
Sometimes when you stand up
too fast, you fart…
560
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,620
-[gasps, laughs]
-…and I have to ignore it.
561
00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:41,710
-[laughs]
-I--
562
00:23:41,790 --> 00:23:43,920
-I do. You don't. [laughs]
-[laughs]
563
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,090
Now, him.
564
00:23:45,170 --> 00:23:47,050
-[laughs]
-[Leah] Has he ever told you
565
00:23:47,130 --> 00:23:49,800
about his reluctant move into politics?
566
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,260
[laughs] Oh, my gosh. No.
567
00:23:51,340 --> 00:23:53,680
One time I found a notepad
where he wrote, "Assemblyman?"
568
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,100
-[laughs]
-"Congressman? Lieutenant Governor?"
569
00:23:56,180 --> 00:23:57,390
[both laugh]
570
00:23:57,470 --> 00:23:59,770
[laughs] And the thing…
the thing with the aftershave.
571
00:23:59,850 --> 00:24:00,940
[gasps]
572
00:24:02,230 --> 00:24:05,360
-[laughs] Why?
-[laughs] I don't know.
573
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,070
I've never been so happy
to be humiliated in my life.
574
00:24:09,150 --> 00:24:10,360
[Tristan] He always does.
575
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,780
This could be my family, my last checkbox.
576
00:24:12,860 --> 00:24:14,700
-This is amazing!
-[Lois] Malcolm!
577
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,700
We are not doing this by email
or text or over the phone or by Zoom.
578
00:24:19,790 --> 00:24:21,500
We are gonna talk about it.
579
00:24:21,580 --> 00:24:23,120
No matter what you have to arrange,
580
00:24:23,210 --> 00:24:26,670
you are gonna be at our anniversary
with the rest of the family.
581
00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:27,840
Dad?
582
00:24:32,550 --> 00:24:34,390
You have a daughter?
583
00:24:34,470 --> 00:24:36,180
She's alive?
584
00:24:37,260 --> 00:24:39,640
-[gasps]
-Son, wh-- wh-- wh-- what's happening?
585
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,140
[♪ somber instrumental music playing]
586
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:46,150
-[♪ music stops]
-You made me do this!
587
00:24:46,230 --> 00:24:47,270
Malcolm!
588
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,190
This family's nonstop antisocial behavior
589
00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:51,990
and mindless belligerence
and myopic priorities
590
00:24:52,070 --> 00:24:53,240
are toxic to me!
591
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,610
Every single bad thing
that happened in my life
592
00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:57,070
is your fault!
593
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,580
Getting away from you
is how I finally stopped
594
00:24:59,660 --> 00:25:02,660
being such an asshole! [pants]
595
00:25:02,750 --> 00:25:06,790
W-- wait,
so your biggest problem is… is…
596
00:25:07,420 --> 00:25:11,090
that we… exist? [whimpers]
597
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:14,380
-[gasping rapidly]
-[Tristan] Oh. [grunts]
598
00:25:14,470 --> 00:25:16,890
-[Hal whimpering]
-Thank you. Who are you?
599
00:25:16,970 --> 00:25:18,390
I don't know.
600
00:25:19,180 --> 00:25:21,930
How could you do this to your family?
601
00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:26,190
No, stop. You insisted
on barging in on my home, okay?
602
00:25:26,270 --> 00:25:28,560
Without an invitation.
So, you can at least give me
603
00:25:28,650 --> 00:25:30,480
the courtesy to explain myself, please.
604
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:31,780
[pants] Sit down.
605
00:25:36,070 --> 00:25:37,950
-[Hal grunting softly]
-[Tristan speaking indistinctly]
606
00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:46,370
[♪ upbeat instrumental music playing]
607
00:25:46,460 --> 00:25:47,830
-[Lois grunts]
-[groans]
608
00:25:54,590 --> 00:25:55,840
[gasps]
609
00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:06,100
[♪ music concludes]
610
00:26:20,780 --> 00:26:22,620
[♪ rock music playing,
They Might Be Giants "Boss Of Me"]
611
00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:24,790
♪ Yeah, no, maybe ♪
612
00:26:24,910 --> 00:26:27,120
♪ I don't know ♪
613
00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:30,290
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
614
00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:32,500
♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
615
00:26:32,590 --> 00:26:34,250
♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
616
00:26:34,340 --> 00:26:37,510
♪ And you're not so big ♪
617
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,840
[♪ music concludes]
48141
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