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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,680
Michael! Michael!
2
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,039
-Were they barbecuing last night?
-Who?
3
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,599
Him, next door,
and his girlfriend.
4
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,639
His name's Michael and
she's not his girlfriend.
5
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,959
Right, well, whoever she is.
Anyway, how do you know?
6
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,519
I bumped into her at the shop.
7
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,719
-Kacey. She's nice.
-Whatever.
8
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,919
Right, they were barbecuing,
because I smelled it.
9
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,440
It was just a bonfire.
10
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,240
There are coals on our drive.
11
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,439
Right? They're chucking
barbecue coals on our drive.
12
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,239
What? Why?
13
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,999
I've no idea why.
14
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,119
Why would someone
chuck barbecue coals?
15
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,759
I have no idea what goes
through that man's head. OK?
16
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,839
It's some sort of game he's playing
with me. Thinks he can get to me.
17
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,039
You know, thinks he
can get under my skin.
18
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,159
Who are you phoning?
19
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,199
The council.
Antisocial behaviour.
20
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,280
It's only eight o'clock.
There'll be no-one there.
21
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,560
Right. I've got to go.
22
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,679
Go and knock on for him
and tell him to clean it up.
23
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,879
But take photos first,
all right? For evidence.
24
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,038
And then phone the
council and report it.
25
00:01:49,039 --> 00:01:50,839
Antisocial behaviour.
26
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,559
Yes, sir.
27
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,519
The Wise Man's
Song -by Cinder Wells
28
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:59,520
♪ I know we're older
now ♪ And lost again
29
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:10,200
♪ Down at the cul-de-sac
♪ You left, my friend
30
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:19,560
♪ Will you come
back, come back again?
31
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:30,960
♪ Will you come
back, come back again?
32
00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:40,239
♪ I put the kettle on ♪
The wise man sung for you ♪
33
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,600
Hi, Hilary.
34
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,640
OK, I'll come over.
35
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:56,679
Oh, hello, love.
36
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,559
Thanks for ringing. Is he OK?
37
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,559
I don't know, love. He's
stressing about something,
38
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,039
but I can't figure it out. I
don't think he really knows.
39
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,120
-He's in his room.
-Cheers.
40
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:27,239
Oh... Oh, it's you. They
better not have called you.
41
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,279
-Did they call you?
-I've just come to see you, like I always do.
42
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,800
I told them not to disturb you.
43
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,439
What's up, Dad? Hilary
says you're getting stressed.
44
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,159
Are you worried about something?
45
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,359
It's all this toot, you
know, crowding me in.
46
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,199
I-I-I'll have to sort it
out. I can't find anything.
47
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,519
OK, I can help you with that.
48
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,879
Is there something
that you're looking for?
49
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,319
Yeah, well, what was
it he said was lost?
50
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,519
Something hidden.
51
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,119
-Sorry, who's this?
-Him!
52
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,319
Him who came
looking for something.
53
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,879
A book, a bird book.
54
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,799
Dad, you're getting in a state
now. You're getting right confused.
55
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,079
They're constantly getting at
me, asking me to find things.
56
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,279
OK, I'll tell you what, I
can take some away today.
57
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,519
Let's fill a box with stuff that
you don't think you'll need, and I'll
58
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,319
keep it at my house
until you need it again.
59
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,079
No, you can throw it all away. I
don't want any of it. It's all junk.
60
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,279
Come on, Dad, let's sort through
some and we can take it from there.
61
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,879
What you got there?
62
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,999
It's my old pal Vic Wiffen.
63
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,319
Passed away.
64
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,159
Not, uh, not many
of us left now.
65
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,559
Oh, I'm sorry, Dad. That's
your friend from Canada.
66
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,239
Yeah, yeah. I got a letter
from him only a week ago.
67
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:41,200
I was always going to go and
visit him but, uh, too late now.
68
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,479
Did you just find this?
69
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,599
Hmm?
70
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,920
Nothing.
71
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,919
You say you had a
letter from him last week?
72
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,840
Couple of days ago.
It's on the side there.
73
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,719
He asked about you.
74
00:04:58,720 --> 00:04:59,960
Always asked about you.
75
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,600
Legend.
76
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,439
Excuse me.
77
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,720
-Hello, love.
-Do you sell tit boxes?
78
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,879
Tit boxes?
79
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:44,920
Yes.
80
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,159
-Boxes for...?
-Tits.
81
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,480
Hmm...
82
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,440
Blue tits?
83
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,919
-Like a nesting box?
-Yes.
84
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,800
They'll be in the garden
section if we have them. It's, er...
85
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,120
I'm sorry, it doesn't
look like we do.
86
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,120
Oh, well.
87
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,039
I tell you what, I
might be able to help.
88
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,840
-Might you?
-Yeah, think so.
89
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,320
Can you come back
in, like, an hour?
90
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,839
Yeah, all right. I'll go do
the rest of my shopping.
91
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,519
Smashing. See you back here.
92
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,960
-In an hour?
-That's it.
93
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,919
-Nine Pound Hammer
-by Little Grasscals
94
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:45,039
♪ Oh, the nine-pound
hammer is a little too heavy
95
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:49,439
♪ Baby, for my size
♪ Honey, for my size
96
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,279
♪ Roll on, buddy,
don't you roll so slow
97
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:58,080
♪ How can I roll when
the wheels won't roll?
98
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,559
♪ So roll on, buddy,
don't you roll so slow
99
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,039
♪ How can I roll when
the wheels won't go? ♪
100
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,840
Michael, what the hell...?
101
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,080
What the he...?
102
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,559
What are you doing?
103
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:37,999
Tit box.
104
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,599
Customer wanted one.
105
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,079
Michael, what's wrong
with you? This is not a...
106
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,479
We don't... If we don't sell
107
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,039
-something, we don't make it on...
-Oh, here she comes.
108
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,519
Hello, madam. There you go.
109
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,119
Oh, that's lovely, thank you!
110
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,439
Hello, Gordon.
111
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:55,879
Hello, Mrs Stewart.
112
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,479
How's your mum? She all right?
113
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,439
She's well, thank
you, Mrs Stewart.
114
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,760
How much is this?
115
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,880
Erm, it's on us, Mrs Stewart,
with our compliments.
116
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,039
Thanks! Give my
love to your mum.
117
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,400
Bye, love.
118
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,919
Why didn't we come
back to work yesterday?
119
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:24,999
-"We"?
-You.
120
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,879
You said "don't
bother coming back".
121
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,879
As a threat!
122
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,399
As in, "if you leave, don't bother
coming back because you're fired".
123
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,999
An employer is not allowed to
refuse an employee reasonable time off
124
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,839
in order to deal with an unexpected
event involving a dependant.
125
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,359
-Well...
-Because that would be unfair dismissal.
126
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,079
-I...
-And you would be guilty of unfair dismissal.
127
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,880
-I...
-And I would take you to court for unfair dismissal.
128
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:51,960
Get this cleaned up.
129
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,119
All right?
130
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,160
Yeah.
131
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,239
Here, listen to this.
132
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,319
-My dad got this letter from his friend in Canada.
-All right.
133
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,599
"Dear Brian, thank
you for your last letter.
134
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,439
"All's well here across the
pond although the winter's still..."
135
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,600
Goes on a bit.
136
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,199
And then, "How's
your boy Michael?
137
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,359
"I'm always interested to
hear what he's up to. Is he well?
138
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,519
"Did he ever find a new
partner and settle down?
139
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,279
"Is he happy these
days? I hope so."
140
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,240
Blah, blah, blah...
"Your dear friend, Vic."
141
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,159
So?
142
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,359
Well, number one, I don't think I've
ever met the bloke, so I don't know
143
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,159
why he's so interested
in what I'm up to.
144
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,519
Well, he's just being friendly.
145
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,439
And number two, he
died over a decade ago.
146
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,159
Died?
147
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,519
Passed away, dead, in 2009.
148
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,479
And how old's the letter?
149
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,880
Written two weeks ago.
150
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,240
-Canada?
-Yep.
151
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,959
Are you sure he's dead?
152
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,199
I've seen the order of
service from the funeral.
153
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,359
I googled him, found his
obituary. He's dead all right.
154
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,079
Weird.
155
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,799
Can ghosts write letters?
156
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,320
I know they can't lick stamps.
157
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,280
All right, Michael?
158
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,079
Hello, Brigham.
159
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,120
-Kacey?
-Brigham.
160
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,279
-He was slagging you off yesterday.
-Gordon. - Oh, yeah?
161
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,679
When you didn't come back to
work. Said he was going to fire you.
162
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,040
Yeah? Not that bothered.
163
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,799
Not bothered
about getting fired?
164
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,760
Not really, if I'm honest.
165
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,640
Don't... You don't want to...
166
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,560
Are you OK?
167
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,519
..get yourself fired, mate.
168
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,680
Why not?
169
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,159
Who's going to make me laugh?
170
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,160
Who's going to come
to work on a long bike?
171
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,760
Be shit without you here, mate.
172
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,160
Right. Erm, cheers, Brigham.
173
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,520
Whatever!
174
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,119
-Hello?
-It's Roy.
175
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,919
-Can you speak?
-Not really.
176
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,359
I need to come over to
the house with a surveyor.
177
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,840
Why? When?
178
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,679
You know why.
179
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,039
When?
180
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,399
-When's convenient?
-None! No time!
181
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,360
-OK. Well, I'm going to come now.
-You can't - look, it's, it's not...
182
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,600
Hey, how are you doing, Michael?
183
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,919
-Yeah, not bad.
-Er, I was just wondering if you had an update
184
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,359
on the hedge situation?
185
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,240
Yeah. Er, no. I'm
sorry, I don't know.
186
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,000
Well, I think the chaffinches
might be gone by now, so...
187
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:20,199
You had a bird
book the other day.
188
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,599
Yeah. The chaffinches.
189
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,880
Where did you get it from?
190
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,440
-The book?
-Yes.
191
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,039
Um, I think it was my dad's.
192
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,359
My dad's?
193
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,719
No, MY dad's.
194
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,959
Did you go and see my dad?
195
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,440
-Your dad?
-Yes. At the nursing home?
196
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,559
-Your dad?
-And ask him for a bird book?
197
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,639
You what? Sorry, I don't think
I understand this conversation.
198
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,919
Yes.
199
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,200
It's confusing.
200
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:58,960
Old Enough -by Cinder
Well ♪ Old enough
201
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:07,400
♪ You are old enough
202
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:17,360
♪ To know the
way ♪ This is going
203
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,520
♪ Walk me home
204
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:34,360
♪ The long way home
205
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,680
♪ And go away
206
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,720
♪ You're not going
207
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:53,679
♪ I am golden in the evening
208
00:15:53,680 --> 00:16:01,680
♪ We are bolder in the
morning ♪ And the long grass
209
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:11,720
♪ It is grown ♪ Over the
steps ♪ Of the door... ♪
210
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,680
Oh, shit.
211
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,999
Hello, Michael. I'm sorry.
I'm not doing this to be a shit.
212
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,679
But, erm, I'm desperate, mate.
213
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,399
I'm bankrupt.
214
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:48,039
It's been a long time coming
and this house, it belongs to me.
215
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,159
Sorry. Who's that?
216
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,479
She's a surveyor.
217
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,759
I just wanted her to come and have
a look around so we can figure out
218
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,880
what needs to be done before
people can start viewing the property.
219
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,320
Nice to meet you, Michael.
220
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:07,318
So, can we, erm... Can
we come in, please?
221
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:09,639
Well, I've set some chairs
up in the garden, actually.
222
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,639
We've come to see the
house, mate, not the garden.
223
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,159
Well, you need to give me
more time to tidy up and stuff.
224
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,719
Hey! I need some more
time to tidy up. Roy!
225
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,598
Jesus Christ, what is all this
shit? What are you stockpiling?
226
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:23,480
It's this way. Come through.
227
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,880
Come through. It's this way.
228
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,720
Erm...
229
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,760
Oh, my God, look at this!
230
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,279
It's Christmas, 1979!
231
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,039
There's me, Mum, Clea.
232
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,759
Yeah, would you
like to come through?
233
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,159
The Action Man helicopter.
234
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:56,000
Mum thought it came with
an Action Man, but didn't.
235
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,040
I never did get an Action Man.
236
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,360
It's this way.
237
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,919
What's that?
238
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,079
Manure.
239
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,160
Stinks.
240
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:22,679
The house is going on the market
in three weeks' time, Michael.
241
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:23,959
Three weeks?
242
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:28,279
Sorry, Michael, you've got
no choice. It's going to happen.
243
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,199
-I'm sorry, I thought you were a surveyor.
-Solicitor.
244
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,959
You said that she
was a surveyor.
245
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,760
Did I? I meant solicitor.
246
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,439
Well, I'll need to
talk to my solicitor.
247
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,159
-You don't have a solicitor.
-Then I shall get a solicitor.
248
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,919
-You should get one.
-I'm going to get a solicitor.
249
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,359
It would be much easier if
I had a lawyer to deal with.
250
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,959
Easier? For who?
251
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,599
For everyone, Michael. Christ!
252
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,479
Do not make this more difficult
than it needs to be, please.
253
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,679
And the house obviously
needs to be cleared.
254
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,199
-What's in the boxes?
-I don't know.
255
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,199
-What do you mean, you don't know?
-I mean, I don't know.
256
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,639
I don't know what's in the
boxes. They're not mine.
257
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,319
-Well, whose are they, then?
-They're your sister's.
258
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,839
They're Clea's.
259
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,719
It's stock that she left behind
in locks-ups when she went.
260
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,240
Second-hand
books, I think, mainly.
261
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,159
Right, well we can help
you to get rid of them.
262
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,519
Oh, get rid of them?
263
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,240
To figure out what
to do with them.
264
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,840
So, what else do
you need to know?
265
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,640
So much, mate.
266
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,200
So much.
267
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,599
Hiya, it's me.
268
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,559
Do you want to come round?
269
00:19:58,560 --> 00:19:59,960
It's time.
270
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,479
I think we should
probably wear these too,
271
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,159
-just to be on the safe side.
-No, mate.
272
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,399
Look, whatever's supposed to
have happened to them in their little
273
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,959
shit pit, has either
happened or it hasn't, right?
274
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,719
Me wearing a Dunelm dressing
gown isn't going to change anything.
275
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,080
Fair enough.
276
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,000
Right, I'm going in.
277
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,400
OK.
278
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,719
-Hello, Kacey.
-Hiya, Bev.
279
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,559
This is Clive, my husband.
Clive, this is Kacey.
280
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,319
Oh, cool. How are
you doing, Kacey?
281
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,239
Has he got you slaving, has he?
282
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,559
Slaving? No, mate, I'm
just... I'm just helping out.
283
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,599
Oh, God, yeah. Probably
can't say that nowadays.
284
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,319
-No, you can't.
-Yeah.
285
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,559
-It's a minefield, isn't it?
-Yeah, not really.
286
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,919
What are you wearing that for?
287
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,919
Well, I don't want to
get dirty, do I, Bev?
288
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,159
You wally!
289
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,160
-Right, I'll see you later, love.
-See ya. - See you later, Kacey.
290
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,919
-Why do you always do that?
-Do what?
291
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,599
-Pretend to be nice.
-What the hell's that supposed to mean?
292
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,479
Well, I know you're
going to say something
293
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,800
fucking horrible about her now.
294
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,879
-Oh, I can't find 'em!
-What...?
295
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,879
They must've sunk
into the ground.
296
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,680
They should be right here.
297
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:36,999
Argh!
298
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,800
Ah! Oh!
299
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,360
Kacey, I nearly went under!
300
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,759
What the...? What's
going on? Where are they?
301
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,239
I don't know. Just
wa... Wait, wait.
302
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,280
-Hold me arm.
-I am!
303
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:59,239
OK, OK, I've got 'em. Yeah,
they've gone right under.
304
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,599
-Oh.
-Pull us out.
305
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,280
Argh!
306
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,320
We're going to
have to rethink this.
307
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,959
I can feel it.
308
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,159
Is it the right way up?
309
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,999
Yeah, I've got it by its neck.
310
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,200
Right, give it a gentle pull.
311
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,839
Here it comes.
312
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,960
Gently.
313
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,559
-You got it?
-Yeah.
314
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,240
OK, take her inside.
315
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,000
Here she comes.
316
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,240
I've got her.
317
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,199
Hurry up!
318
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,840
All right! Bloody hell.
319
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,400
Here.
320
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,600
-Ugh!
-Yeah.
321
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,279
They've grown.
322
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,679
Have they reached
the stage of whatever?
323
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,559
The state of divination.
324
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,759
I don't know.
325
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,199
How do you find out?
326
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,000
I have to ask 'em a question.
327
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,679
Go on, then.
328
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,119
-I don't know what to ask.
-Mate, you told me what you wanted to ask.
329
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:41,479
Yeah, but we should ask
them a test question first.
330
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,400
You know, see if it works.
331
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,839
-So, what can they answer questions on?
-Anything.
332
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,600
The future, the past, anything.
333
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,240
OK. OK, yeah.
334
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,359
We'll use these.
335
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,639
Yeah? Pick a card and
get it to tell us what it is.
336
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,159
-OK. - Yeah.
337
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,920
-How will it tell us?
-Mate, I don't know.
338
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,000
Go on, ask it. Talk to it.
339
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,960
Do you want to play cards?
340
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,439
-Yeah? Cards?
-Your Majesty.
341
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:25,920
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Erm, would you
like to play cards, Your Majesty?
342
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,319
OK!
343
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,759
Er, OK, erm, Your Majesty,
344
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,920
what card will I take
from the top of the deck?
345
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,599
-Whoa!
-Oh, my God.
346
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,080
The four of hearts.
347
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,639
Wait. Shuffle them again.
348
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:50,959
Why? He's chosen.
349
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,399
Yeah, but if he's predicting the
future, you can shuffle them again.
350
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,319
You can shuffle them
as many times as you like.
351
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,680
It won't make a difference.
352
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,880
Once more.
353
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,199
Holy shit!
354
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,639
OK!
355
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,440
All right, Your Majesty, again.
356
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,080
Seven of diamonds?
357
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,959
Well, I guess it works!
358
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:39,239
OK! OK, so we know that
they can predict the future.
359
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,759
What else can they do? Can
they... Can they solve a crime?
360
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,079
-Tell you your deepest secret?
-I suppose so.
361
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,839
-What about someone else's secret?
-Yeah. I suppose.
362
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,079
Your Majesty, I would
like you to tell me...
363
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,439
..when was the last
time Michael cried?
364
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,359
-Whoa! Whoa! Hang on, no.
-I'm just asking her a question!
365
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:55,880
You can't do that!
366
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,439
-Did you cry at Brokeback Mountain?
-Well, I mean,
367
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,279
-you know, it's a sad film.
-Brilliant!
368
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,439
OK, what else? What
else can we ask?
369
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,239
Are there any sports
happening now?
370
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,680
There must be, somewhere
in the world, right?
371
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:21,159
Yes! Here. Copenhagen
versus Skanderborg,
372
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,279
Danish women's handball.
373
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,959
There's, like, ten minutes left.
374
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,720
OK, OK, so what do we ask?
375
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:33,359
Your Majesty, right
now, Ajax Kobenhavn...
376
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,119
It's "eye-ax".
377
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:39,239
..are playing Skanderborg
at home in Denmark.
378
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,680
Can you tell me,
will Copenhagen win?
379
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,600
-OK.
-So the other team, Skanderborg, are going to win?
380
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,200
And what will
the final score be?
381
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,199
31-29.
382
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,399
OK. What's the score now?
383
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:00,879
28 all.
384
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,080
Come on!
385
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,640
Oh, my God!
386
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,440
Come here!
26443
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