Original subtitles

We're finished, come on.

Fuck it. Do it. Just fucking do it. Miss, if you'd like to try those on the

fitting room today. What about that? Hey, hey, hey. You walked in there with

Yeah, no, I'm fucking... I don't see it here. Take it off. I want you to give

that back to me. Don't look, okay? What about the rest?

There's two ways out of it.

Either you can suck my dick, or I can call the cops.

God, just fucking come already.

Fuck, I'm never gonna steal again.

Step inside.

Grab a seat, will you please? What the fuck am I doing here? I already fucked

the store manager so that I could go home. Like, what is this?

I don't know if that's how that works.

What are you talking about?

Who do you mean you fucked the store manager and you think he's going to

now? Yeah!

You were caught shoplifting.

Are you crazy?

Yeah, and then I fucked the store manager so I get to go. That's how that

works.

That's the store manager.

Maybe if you went to him ahead of time and asked him something.

Are you fucking kidding me? No, I'm the security here. I'm the one who decides

who gets prosecuted.

You're a glorified mall cop.

Are you kidding me?

It's not like you can arrest me.

No, I can't, but what I can do is I can pick up my phone over there and I can

call the police and I can have them come down and arrest you. Is that what you

want?

I can't believe this.

I mean, listen.

Do I fuck that guy for nothing?

Well, I mean, it's not going to help the situation between you and I in my job.

I'm loss prevention.

This is my job. I'm supposed to fucking catch criminals and stealing shit.

But the good news for you is, you know, now that I know that you're open to

negotiations. Oh, my God. Let me guess. You wanted me to fuck you, too.

I mean.

Isn't that illegal somehow?

You're the one who offered.

I didn't offer it. You just did. I should be able to walk out of here. I

fucked that Kevin Penn guy.

I have cameras right there. Just you offering me sex. You're telling me you

fucked a manager and now you're just offering me sex to get out of it.

Did I misunderstand you? No, but you would be part of it.

You would also get in trouble, I'm pretty sure. I'm not a fucking lawyer.

I'm not a lawyer either, but I do.

Okay, but if I fuck you, and then what, you're going to hand me the cop, and

then I have to fuck a cop now, and then when do I ever get to go home?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, okay? I'm not sure.

I have to ask him whether or not you even have more of our merchandise.

Except for part of it. Clearly, I don't have anything on me. There's nothing

clear about this, except that you would have probably been the wildest customer

I've had in a long time. Oh, wild.

Fucking dildos falling out of everywhere.

Why do you have that in here?

Because people steal stuff all the time.

Yeah, people steal dildos and all kinds of things. And you keep them? And you

sniff them?

It's evidence that hasn't been bagged yet.

Okay, is that on camera?

Everything's on camera here.

What kind of place is this?

What the fuck?

If you allow me to do my job.

What's your job? I have to search you. What are you talking about? I already

know.

You have to do a full cavity search, or I'm going to have to call the police. A

full cavity search?

What, you think... I stole a fucking bra.

It's not like a smuggling drug.

Well, I mean, I don't know what you took.

All I know is that you're a prospective shoplifter, and I have to do my job. And

you can either stand up and let me search you, or I can call the police and

them do it. Those are your two options.

So are you going to cooperate?

You're just going to hand me over to the cops anyway.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

If you cooperate...

And I don't find any other stolen merchandise.

Yeah? Then I can go.

No, you can't just go. What do you think my job is here? Are you crazy? No. I

don't know what your job is here. My job here is to make sure that shoplifters,

that I try to retrieve any lost merchandise, and I prevent shoplifters

coming back.

that's where the sex part would come in. Oh, my God.

I'm just saying.

I'm already never coming back. I already had to fuck that other guy. I already

had to fuck someone.

Clearly, I learned my lesson. You fucked the wrong guy. I fucked the wrong guy?

Look at him like this. Like a concert group, he goes and they start, they fuck

the roadie.

And eventually, if they fuck enough roadies, the security guy has to get up

the rock star.

Well, I'm the rock star in this situation.

So, that means...

Yeah, I'm the security.

I'm the one who decides if the cops get called or not. So just tell me why. Why

don't you just cooperate?

Let me do my cavity search.

Oh, my God. A nice thorough cavity search.

You know what? With lots of pussy eating.

And then you let me get off.

And then I'll let you go. I won't call the police. Okay, just the cavity

No, not just the cavity search.

Why not? Why not? Because that's like the appetizer to the entree. I mean,

ridiculous. That's enough for you to jack off. You really mean it. Come on.

not here to jack off. You should be grateful.

I am grateful.

Like, the cavity searches, you should be grateful that you get the cavity

searches. You know what I mean?

First off, you just got fucked by some other guy. This isn't that big of a

thrill. I mean, we know that I look like some sort of a fucking pervert that

gets off on this shit. Yeah, you really do.

Yeah, I'm sure I do. All right.

Enough gas out of you.

Do you have anything?

There's nothing there. Is there a weapon or anything here? Are you sure?

I'm going to make sure now.

Oh, my God. Ew.

No shit. Okay, moving on.

Moving on.

I like your enthusiasm.

Make sure there's no weapons or anything that I can... No sharp objects I can

poke myself with.

No. No.

Why are you growling?

I'm not growling. There was a growl. There was a low, like... Okay, it was a

primal snip.

Oh. Figure it out.

You have a security guard, right?

Looked nothing.

I don't have anything.

Put your hands where I can see them.

Run over.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my God.

Let's see.

Nope, there's nothing there.

I'll decide if there's anything there or not. Will you please just do your job?

Can you do your job faster?

Oh, what are you doing?

I'm getting a closer look. Do you mind? I do mind, actually.

Well, I'm sorry about that. No, you're not.

Let's take a closer look.

You got your binoculars on you?

Monocles? I should have brought my glasses.

two guys in one day.

Oh, you three, the lousy.

Oh, my God. You're not going to find anything in there.

You know what? I thought I was in charge of doing the cavity search here.

Are you a security guard? Do you do this for a living?

I don't think so.

Oh, God.

Yeah, man, if you're not going to cooperate, I'm going to have to call the

police. No, dude, you're in my ass. You know what? Okay, turn around. Sit down

on the desk.

Let's take these off.

God what a day

and tight. Amen.

Mm -hmm.

Oh. Oh.

Dude. Calm.

Calm.

I like it.

It's whatever.

Mm -hmm.

Oh.

Did you have lunch today? Like, goddamn.

Why are you so hungry?

I'm too ticklish.

Oh, God.

What's that doing out? What's dripping out of there?

Jesus. Oh.

Oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no.

I agree to a cavity search. You're supposed to get off. and then I leave.

Well, yeah, get off. That's the key word here.

Cavity search.

Not that.

Well, I mean, how do you think I'm going to get off, honey?

Don't you jerk off?

Why would I jerk off?

Why would I jerk off? I've got a beautiful naked girl in front of me with

legs. Why would I jerk off? Because I want to get out of here.

No.

We had a deal.

You cavity searched me, which you just did.

Let's be crystal clear.

Crystal clear.

The deal is, first off, you already fucked the manager.

Exactly. Exactly. This is crazy.

Of course it goes without saying I'm going to fuck you as well. No, it does

go without saying.

It goes without saying that I get out of here.

You let me go. Yeah, you can.

You let me fucking, you let me fucking go. No, you can hand me off to someone

else and then I'm never going to, I'm never going to go home. I wouldn't do

that. I'm not that type of person.

Oh, I know. That's what I'm trying to fix here.

No. That's what I'm trying to change. I don't need to get to know you. Are you

sure? I'm positive. Come on. You know what? I'll tell you what.

It's either that or I have to call the police.

Dude. I mean, sweetie, it's just, I hate to do it. I hate to be that guy. Yeah,

no, you don't. You don't. What are you talking about?

I'm just, you know, do we have a deal?

I mean, I'll let you go.

Dude. I'll even let you keep the bra.

I don't care about the bra. I already gave the bra. Well, of course you care

about the bra. You're just stealing it.

I have nothing on me. I have nothing on me. Just come already.

Just come. No, no, no. Not like that. Just like... I guess I'll just call the

police. No!

God damn it, dude.

You better be close.

Just get it over with, please. I want to get out of here.

I mean, just come as quickly as you can.

Just bust a fucking nut. Not inside me.

Just... Let's get this over with. I want to go.

I'm hungry.

I'm cranky.

I'm tired of fucking people today.

I learned my lesson. I'm not going to.

So we have a deal. We have a pinky promise.

I'll let you go.

You let me fucking till I come.

Come on.

Okay, but make it quick.

Make it, and let me go. You better let me go. Of course, I wouldn't.

I will murder you if you don't let me go. Yeah.

God.

I feel like I feel heat.

Wow.

Wow, that's nice pudding.

Yep.

Shitty -ass, hard, cold table.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Stay right there. I'm not going anywhere, I guess.

You don't have to do all that.

I just want to get nice and comfortable, you see.

I don't want to shortchange you from this amazing experience.

What? Play with yourself.

Pleasure yourself.

Oh, my God.

Come on. Do you want to make this sexy? Do you want me to come, or do you want

to sit there and play? That's fine. You know what? Yeah, I do want you to come.

Oh, okay. I want you to come. It's fine.

Pretend it's not so painful.

in consideration.

That's really sweet of you.

Come here.

You know what you can do?

Bend right over this desk.

God.

You must be so uncomfortable.

So uncomfortable.

Oh, I'll try that. If you're going to fuck people in here, you should, like...

don't know what you mean.

Fuck.

You think I should get a couch or something?

Yeah. Good idea. That's a good idea.

You should come. It's tickling now.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, come on, baby. You know you like it.

You like it.

Oh. I love it. I can taste it.

I can taste how much you like it. It's in my fucking beard.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, this is getting so real. I'm not going to wash my face for a week.

I'm going to walk around and sense your fucking beard.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

I'll be back.

I'll come faster if you need me.

You know, I wouldn't feel it coming.

Get right down here. Oh,

she's right there.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Okay. Can you go now, please?

Yeah. Don't forget your sports bra.

Make sure you clean yourself up before we go outside,

okay?