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1
00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:08,309
We're finished, come on.
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00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:15,890
Fuck it. Do it. Just fucking do it.
Miss, if you'd like to try those on the
3
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:18,730
fitting room today. What about that?
Hey, hey, hey. You walked in there with
4
00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:21,770
Yeah, no, I'm fucking... I don't see it
here. Take it off. I want you to give
5
00:00:21,770 --> 00:00:24,050
that back to me. Don't look, okay? What
about the rest?
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00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:25,730
There's two ways out of it.
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Either you can suck my dick, or I can
call the cops.
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God, just fucking come already.
9
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Fuck, I'm never gonna steal again.
10
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Step inside.
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Grab a seat, will you please? What the
fuck am I doing here? I already fucked
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the store manager so that I could go
home. Like, what is this?
13
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,960
I don't know if that's how that works.
14
00:00:51,220 --> 00:00:52,220
What are you talking about?
15
00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:55,140
Who do you mean you fucked the store
manager and you think he's going to
16
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,140
now? Yeah!
17
00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:57,830
You were caught shoplifting.
18
00:00:58,030 --> 00:00:58,949
Are you crazy?
19
00:00:58,950 --> 00:01:02,890
Yeah, and then I fucked the store
manager so I get to go. That's how that
20
00:01:02,890 --> 00:01:03,890
works.
21
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That's the store manager.
22
00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:09,390
Maybe if you went to him ahead of time
and asked him something.
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00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:13,050
Are you fucking kidding me? No, I'm the
security here. I'm the one who decides
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who gets prosecuted.
25
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You're a glorified mall cop.
26
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:17,330
Are you kidding me?
27
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It's not like you can arrest me.
28
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No, I can't, but what I can do is I can
pick up my phone over there and I can
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call the police and I can have them come
down and arrest you. Is that what you
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want?
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I can't believe this.
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I mean, listen.
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Do I fuck that guy for nothing?
34
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Well, I mean, it's not going to help the
situation between you and I in my job.
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I'm loss prevention.
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This is my job. I'm supposed to fucking
catch criminals and stealing shit.
37
00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:47,050
But the good news for you is, you know,
now that I know that you're open to
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00:01:47,050 --> 00:01:50,770
negotiations. Oh, my God. Let me guess.
You wanted me to fuck you, too.
39
00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:52,090
I mean.
40
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Isn't that illegal somehow?
41
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You're the one who offered.
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00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:59,850
I didn't offer it. You just did. I
should be able to walk out of here. I
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00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:00,850
fucked that Kevin Penn guy.
44
00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:05,250
I have cameras right there. Just you
offering me sex. You're telling me you
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fucked a manager and now you're just
offering me sex to get out of it.
46
00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:12,030
Did I misunderstand you? No, but you
would be part of it.
47
00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:15,470
You would also get in trouble, I'm
pretty sure. I'm not a fucking lawyer.
48
00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:18,270
I'm not a lawyer either, but I do.
49
00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:22,490
Okay, but if I fuck you, and then what,
you're going to hand me the cop, and
50
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,590
then I have to fuck a cop now, and then
when do I ever get to go home?
51
00:02:25,810 --> 00:02:28,830
Let's not get ahead of ourselves here,
okay? I'm not sure.
52
00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:32,870
I have to ask him whether or not you
even have more of our merchandise.
53
00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,890
Except for part of it. Clearly, I don't
have anything on me. There's nothing
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00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:40,010
clear about this, except that you would
have probably been the wildest customer
55
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I've had in a long time. Oh, wild.
56
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Fucking dildos falling out of
everywhere.
57
00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:50,000
Why do you have that in here?
58
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,320
Because people steal stuff all the time.
59
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:59,060
Yeah, people steal dildos and all kinds
of things. And you keep them? And you
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sniff them?
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00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,500
It's evidence that hasn't been bagged
yet.
62
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,340
Okay, is that on camera?
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Everything's on camera here.
64
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What kind of place is this?
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What the fuck?
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If you allow me to do my job.
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What's your job? I have to search you.
What are you talking about? I already
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00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,200
know.
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00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:20,290
You have to do a full cavity search, or
I'm going to have to call the police. A
70
00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:21,290
full cavity search?
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00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:23,930
What, you think... I stole a fucking
bra.
72
00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:25,870
It's not like a smuggling drug.
73
00:03:26,470 --> 00:03:28,590
Well, I mean, I don't know what you
took.
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00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:33,530
All I know is that you're a prospective
shoplifter, and I have to do my job. And
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00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:36,610
you can either stand up and let me
search you, or I can call the police and
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00:03:36,610 --> 00:03:38,210
them do it. Those are your two options.
77
00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:40,230
So are you going to cooperate?
78
00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:41,490
You're just going to hand me over to the
cops anyway.
79
00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:43,750
Okay, I'll tell you what.
80
00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:45,150
If you cooperate...
81
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,820
And I don't find any other stolen
merchandise.
82
00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:49,560
Yeah? Then I can go.
83
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,860
No, you can't just go. What do you think
my job is here? Are you crazy? No. I
84
00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:58,120
don't know what your job is here. My job
here is to make sure that shoplifters,
85
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:03,240
that I try to retrieve any lost
merchandise, and I prevent shoplifters
86
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,240
coming back.
87
00:04:04,270 --> 00:04:06,430
that's where the sex part would come in.
Oh, my God.
88
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:07,870
I'm just saying.
89
00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:13,330
I'm already never coming back. I already
had to fuck that other guy. I already
90
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:14,910
had to fuck someone.
91
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:19,310
Clearly, I learned my lesson. You fucked
the wrong guy. I fucked the wrong guy?
92
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:22,610
Look at him like this. Like a concert
group, he goes and they start, they fuck
93
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:23,349
the roadie.
94
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:26,870
And eventually, if they fuck enough
roadies, the security guy has to get up
95
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:27,870
the rock star.
96
00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:29,990
Well, I'm the rock star in this
situation.
97
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:31,710
So, that means...
98
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,000
Yeah, I'm the security.
99
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,220
I'm the one who decides if the cops get
called or not. So just tell me why. Why
100
00:04:38,220 --> 00:04:39,220
don't you just cooperate?
101
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:41,400
Let me do my cavity search.
102
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:44,980
Oh, my God. A nice thorough cavity
search.
103
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:47,600
You know what? With lots of pussy
eating.
104
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,040
And then you let me get off.
105
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:53,500
And then I'll let you go. I won't call
the police. Okay, just the cavity
106
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,660
No, not just the cavity search.
107
00:04:57,140 --> 00:05:00,740
Why not? Why not? Because that's like
the appetizer to the entree. I mean,
108
00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:03,860
ridiculous. That's enough for you to
jack off. You really mean it. Come on.
109
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:05,820
not here to jack off. You should be
grateful.
110
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,320
I am grateful.
111
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,860
Like, the cavity searches, you should be
grateful that you get the cavity
112
00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:12,980
searches. You know what I mean?
113
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,760
First off, you just got fucked by some
other guy. This isn't that big of a
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00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,440
thrill. I mean, we know that I look like
some sort of a fucking pervert that
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00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,000
gets off on this shit. Yeah, you really
do.
116
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,840
Yeah, I'm sure I do. All right.
117
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:24,460
Enough gas out of you.
118
00:05:26,330 --> 00:05:27,390
Do you have anything?
119
00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:30,510
There's nothing there. Is there a weapon
or anything here? Are you sure?
120
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:32,910
I'm going to make sure now.
121
00:05:33,510 --> 00:05:35,270
Oh, my God. Ew.
122
00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:39,090
No shit. Okay, moving on.
123
00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:40,410
Moving on.
124
00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:42,530
I like your enthusiasm.
125
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:47,610
Make sure there's no weapons or anything
that I can... No sharp objects I can
126
00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:48,610
poke myself with.
127
00:05:49,170 --> 00:05:50,850
No. No.
128
00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:54,250
Why are you growling?
129
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,940
I'm not growling. There was a growl.
There was a low, like... Okay, it was a
130
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,060
primal snip.
131
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,600
Oh. Figure it out.
132
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,660
You have a security guard, right?
133
00:06:08,580 --> 00:06:09,459
Looked nothing.
134
00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:10,620
I don't have anything.
135
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:12,480
Put your hands where I can see them.
136
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,840
Run over.
137
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:16,820
Oh, wow.
138
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,240
Oh, my God.
139
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,320
Let's see.
140
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,180
Nope, there's nothing there.
141
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:28,280
I'll decide if there's anything there or
not. Will you please just do your job?
142
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:30,980
Can you do your job faster?
143
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:36,680
Oh, what are you doing?
144
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:40,200
I'm getting a closer look. Do you mind?
I do mind, actually.
145
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,980
Well, I'm sorry about that. No, you're
not.
146
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:45,300
Let's take a closer look.
147
00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:48,100
You got your binoculars on you?
148
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,540
Monocles? I should have brought my
glasses.
149
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:04,920
two guys in one day.
150
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,640
Oh, you three, the lousy.
151
00:08:38,210 --> 00:08:40,770
Oh, my God. You're not going to find
anything in there.
152
00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:45,410
You know what? I thought I was in charge
of doing the cavity search here.
153
00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:48,030
Are you a security guard? Do you do this
for a living?
154
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:50,110
I don't think so.
155
00:08:51,190 --> 00:08:52,190
Oh, God.
156
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:05,330
Yeah, man, if you're not going to
cooperate, I'm going to have to call the
157
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:10,410
police. No, dude, you're in my ass. You
know what? Okay, turn around. Sit down
158
00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:11,410
on the desk.
159
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:13,550
Let's take these off.
160
00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:16,140
God what a day
161
00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:52,930
and tight. Amen.
162
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:55,610
Mm -hmm.
163
00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:57,310
Oh. Oh.
164
00:10:57,530 --> 00:10:58,950
Dude. Calm.
165
00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:00,190
Calm.
166
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:03,590
I like it.
167
00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:05,090
It's whatever.
168
00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:06,470
Mm -hmm.
169
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,400
Oh.
170
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,420
Did you have lunch today? Like, goddamn.
171
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:18,520
Why are you so hungry?
172
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,420
I'm too ticklish.
173
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,060
Oh, God.
174
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,680
What's that doing out? What's dripping
out of there?
175
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:32,880
Jesus. Oh.
176
00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:37,400
Oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No,
no, no, no.
177
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:43,000
I agree to a cavity search. You're
supposed to get off. and then I leave.
178
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:45,260
Well, yeah, get off. That's the key word
here.
179
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,760
Cavity search.
180
00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:47,860
Not that.
181
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,980
Well, I mean, how do you think I'm going
to get off, honey?
182
00:12:50,780 --> 00:12:51,780
Don't you jerk off?
183
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:53,960
Why would I jerk off?
184
00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:58,380
Why would I jerk off? I've got a
beautiful naked girl in front of me with
185
00:12:58,380 --> 00:13:02,140
legs. Why would I jerk off? Because I
want to get out of here.
186
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:03,880
No.
187
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:05,640
We had a deal.
188
00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:08,920
You cavity searched me, which you just
did.
189
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,240
Let's be crystal clear.
190
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,500
Crystal clear.
191
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:16,820
The deal is, first off, you already
fucked the manager.
192
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,220
Exactly. Exactly. This is crazy.
193
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:24,640
Of course it goes without saying I'm
going to fuck you as well. No, it does
194
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:25,640
go without saying.
195
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,080
It goes without saying that I get out of
here.
196
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:29,820
You let me go. Yeah, you can.
197
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:33,160
You let me fucking, you let me fucking
go. No, you can hand me off to someone
198
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,180
else and then I'm never going to, I'm
never going to go home. I wouldn't do
199
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:37,180
that. I'm not that type of person.
200
00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:42,070
Oh, I know. That's what I'm trying to
fix here.
201
00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:45,890
No. That's what I'm trying to change. I
don't need to get to know you. Are you
202
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:48,510
sure? I'm positive. Come on. You know
what? I'll tell you what.
203
00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:51,230
It's either that or I have to call the
police.
204
00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:57,110
Dude. I mean, sweetie, it's just, I hate
to do it. I hate to be that guy. Yeah,
205
00:13:57,110 --> 00:13:59,510
no, you don't. You don't. What are you
talking about?
206
00:13:59,730 --> 00:14:00,870
I'm just, you know, do we have a deal?
207
00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:03,230
I mean, I'll let you go.
208
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,190
Dude. I'll even let you keep the bra.
209
00:14:05,890 --> 00:14:08,510
I don't care about the bra. I already
gave the bra. Well, of course you care
210
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:09,810
about the bra. You're just stealing it.
211
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:14,430
I have nothing on me. I have nothing on
me. Just come already.
212
00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:20,290
Just come. No, no, no. Not like that.
Just like... I guess I'll just call the
213
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:21,290
police. No!
214
00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:25,210
God damn it, dude.
215
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,630
You better be close.
216
00:14:26,850 --> 00:14:29,690
Just get it over with, please. I want to
get out of here.
217
00:14:30,010 --> 00:14:33,270
I mean, just come as quickly as you can.
218
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:36,510
Just bust a fucking nut. Not inside me.
219
00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:40,460
Just... Let's get this over with. I want
to go.
220
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:41,920
I'm hungry.
221
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:43,460
I'm cranky.
222
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,180
I'm tired of fucking people today.
223
00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:50,520
I learned my lesson. I'm not going to.
224
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:58,940
So we have a deal. We have a pinky
promise.
225
00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:00,340
I'll let you go.
226
00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:02,620
You let me fucking till I come.
227
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:03,959
Come on.
228
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,120
Okay, but make it quick.
229
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,320
Make it, and let me go. You better let
me go. Of course, I wouldn't.
230
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:11,100
I will murder you if you don't let me
go. Yeah.
231
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:15,020
God.
232
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,520
I feel like I feel heat.
233
00:15:23,140 --> 00:15:24,140
Wow.
234
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,420
Wow, that's nice pudding.
235
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:27,740
Yep.
236
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,600
Shitty -ass, hard, cold table.
237
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:52,840
Oh, yes.
238
00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:57,630
Oh.
239
00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:30,050
Oh, God.
240
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:34,610
Stay right there. I'm not going
anywhere, I guess.
241
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:39,530
You don't have to do all that.
242
00:17:39,870 --> 00:17:44,490
I just want to get nice and comfortable,
you see.
243
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,610
I don't want to shortchange you from
this amazing experience.
244
00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:16,730
What? Play with yourself.
245
00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:18,950
Pleasure yourself.
246
00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:20,169
Oh, my God.
247
00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:22,590
Come on. Do you want to make this sexy?
Do you want me to come, or do you want
248
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:25,030
to sit there and play? That's fine. You
know what? Yeah, I do want you to come.
249
00:18:25,290 --> 00:18:27,130
Oh, okay. I want you to come. It's fine.
250
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:28,850
Pretend it's not so painful.
251
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:44,329
in consideration.
252
00:21:44,330 --> 00:21:45,530
That's really sweet of you.
253
00:21:46,350 --> 00:21:47,350
Come here.
254
00:21:47,570 --> 00:21:48,570
You know what you can do?
255
00:21:49,010 --> 00:21:50,090
Bend right over this desk.
256
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:53,110
God.
257
00:21:54,430 --> 00:21:55,750
You must be so uncomfortable.
258
00:21:56,230 --> 00:21:57,230
So uncomfortable.
259
00:21:57,530 --> 00:22:00,710
Oh, I'll try that. If you're going to
fuck people in here, you should, like...
260
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:01,710
don't know what you mean.
261
00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:03,190
Fuck.
262
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,490
You think I should get a couch or
something?
263
00:22:06,050 --> 00:22:08,370
Yeah. Good idea. That's a good idea.
264
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,420
You should come. It's tickling now.
265
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:08,720
Oh, yeah.
266
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,120
Oh, come on, baby. You know you like it.
267
00:24:12,780 --> 00:24:13,840
You like it.
268
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,480
Oh. I love it. I can taste it.
269
00:24:16,780 --> 00:24:19,340
I can taste how much you like it. It's
in my fucking beard.
270
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:20,640
Oh.
271
00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:22,100
Oh.
272
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,840
Oh, this is getting so real. I'm not
going to wash my face for a week.
273
00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:29,740
I'm going to walk around and sense your
fucking beard.
274
00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:31,020
Oh, my God.
275
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,600
Oh, my God.
276
00:26:53,450 --> 00:26:54,450
Yes.
277
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:00,179
I'll be back.
278
00:31:00,180 --> 00:31:01,480
I'll come faster if you need me.
279
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,880
You know, I wouldn't feel it coming.
280
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,260
Get right down here. Oh,
281
00:34:46,540 --> 00:34:47,540
she's right there.
282
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,880
Oh. Oh.
283
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:53,719
Oh, yeah.
284
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:55,239
Oh.
285
00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:57,260
Oh.
286
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:58,680
Oh.
287
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:03,820
Oh, yeah.
288
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:05,400
Oh.
289
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,180
Okay. Can you go now, please?
290
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,760
Yeah. Don't forget your sports bra.
291
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:20,320
Make sure you clean yourself up before
we go outside,
292
00:35:21,060 --> 00:35:22,060
okay?
21100
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