Original subtitles

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He knows the streets by heart

All the small bars

All the dark corners

In his head

Joe's music

Is rumba

Rock with mambo

Joe the Cabbie

Oh, Macumba, Macumba She dances every night

For sailors... Who only want to drink

Oh, Macumba, Macumba She dances every night

With...

With dollars Oh, Macumba

I love this girl on stilettos

Who rocks

Who rocks

It touches my heart

Scary things

They take me to the end of the night

A FILM BY MOHAMED HAMIDI

-Fatah! -Yeah, yeah, coming!

ONE MAN AND HIS COW

Fatah!

Alright, alright.

Where's the red blanket from our wedding?

Which blanket?

I can't find it.

I don't know.

Who took it, then?

Leave me alone, Naïma, it's none of my business.

Are you the FBI now?

Don't listen to her, Jacqueline.

She's jealous.

How are you doing?

Did you sleep well?

It's warm today, huh?

Let's turn the AC on.

I'll take that off.

If Naïma sees it, she'll make a scene.

There.

See this, Jacqueline?

She's the champ.

Ah, she's beautiful.

Jacqueline, inchallah,

we're going to go to the Farmers' Show like her.

You look good today.

If we ever go to the Farmers' Show, you'll see,

they'll say: "Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen!

"Welcome the beautiful,

"cute, nice

"Jacqueline from Boulayoune."

Clap, clap, clap!

Everyone will be shouting, celebrating.

They'll give you kisses,

flowers, bananas.

But we have to go to the market today.

I know, you don't want to go to the market either.

But you know!

We have to earn our keep!

Hurry up.

You'll get the worst spot at the market again.

I always do, whether I hurry or not.

Affida!

Khadija!

Let's go, Jacqueline!

Hello, my daughter!

How are you?

Talk to her in French, like I taught you.

Hello, Jacqueline, nice to meet you.

My name is Khadija. What's your name?

Good job, Khadija.

Learning French is important.

"Nice to meet you!"

"Bon appétit, ladies and gentlemen," "where's the bathroom?"

"Bathroom is either occupied or not occupied."

Dad!

Will you sing your French song?

Alright.

Sing with me, OK?

Let's go, wife

I'm taking you to the country

We'll sleep at the cabin

We'll eat apples and bananas

Hop!

Can I ride Jacqueline?

No, you already rode her yesterday.

Go work.

Thanks for the milk, Fatah.

-You're welcome. -May God be with you.

Hamé Hamed, here's your son-in-law with his second wife.

Fatah, why don't you marry Jacqueline?

Maybe she'll give you a son!

Be quiet!

You do nothing all day.

Aren't you ashamed of talking like that, Makhtar?

We're just having fun.

The country is nice. It's the people who aren't kind.

Samir!

-Has the mailman been by yet? -Not yet.

I have the tape you wanted.

Here, brother.

Star 80, you found it!

François Feldman, Niagara, Aznavour!

They're all there, everyone you love.

You're a pro, Samir. Thanks, buddy!

No problem! Enjoy!

Who's that?

My friend in France.

-Can she see you? -Yes, down below.

Did she see me?

You stuck your face in the screen,

of course she saw you!

Too late. Talk to her.

-Hello, ma'am! -Hello!

How's France?

-I'm Charlie, too! -We all are.

Samir's like this!

He's a great guy!

You have to marry him.

That way, he'll get a passport and he bring all his cousins to France.

Stop that! You want her to hang up?

You want to marry her?

She looks like your grandmother with a brushing.

Leave me alone.

Take Jacqueline to the market!

Yes, Véronique. I don't know, he's crazy!

Huh? Yes, I love you too.

What's up, Al Pacino?

I'll send the birth certificate.

Mail! Mail!

Come get your letters!

-Messaoudi Mohamed? -Here.

-Ichou... Mohamed. -Here.

Nahar...

Mohamed.

You're Mohamed?

Are you all Mohameds here?

Bellabbes Fatah?

It's my son-in-law. I'll take it to him.

I can't.

But, it's my son-in-law.

It's an official letter from France.

I have to give it to him.

-Go get him. -Youssef!

Go get Fatah.

Tell him to leave Jacqueline, he has a date with the mailman!

Who's Jacqueline?

Fatah!

-Bellabbes Fatah? -Yes.

Sign here.

Read it.

-"Dear Mister Bellabbes..." -Yes, it's me.

"Like every year,

"you have applied to participate in the Farmers' Show..."

Yes.

"Touched by your perseverance and your motivation,

"the management team has decided to invite you

"and your cow Jacqueline..."

Ah!

"...to the International Cattle Show.

"Enclosed is your official invitation

"and the document for your visa application."

Signed by the department

of the Paris Farmers' Show.

Thanks, everyone!

Drinks on me!

"As we do not have the means to invite the participants,

"we inform you that the travel expenses

"will be yours to bear."

Hello.

He can't be serious. He's an artist.

Why would we help him?

Everyone gets a shot here, in Boulayoune.

Mohamed, when your son needed money,

we helped him, right?

Yes.

And you, Mohamed,

we helped you with your well.

Mokhtar...

-What do you think? -I...

I think...

we should help him.

What if he doesn't come back?

I know my son-in-law.

He'll come back. If not, I'll pay you back.

Why do you want to go there with your cow?

The Farmers' Show

is the Mecca of the peasants.

I've always dreamed of going there.

If you help me,

it'd give me great joy.

Who's for the village helping him?

How will we pay the village back?

I've been working on the farm since I was 14

and we've never had any money.

Naïma, please trust me.

Call my brother in Marseille.

-He'll go to Paris with you. -Hassan?

Never!

He's a thief and a liar. He insulted me.

I'll manage on my own.

That's enough. I'll tell my father to call him.

Dad, there are people here to see you.

Hi, Fatah.

We want to go to France to the Farmers' Show, too.

I washed her.

She looks nice. She could win, too.

Look what it brought us. It's so embarrassing!

Cute goat, huh?

Look at her jump!

It's a cute goat.

Naïma.

Naïma.

Go sleep with your cow.

It's not the same.

Open the door.

Go sleep with your Jacqueline.

Please.

Come on, Naïma, open the door, por favor.

Good.

Bye, Si Brahim.

It's from the Mecca. There's no call to prayer in France.

It knows the time.

Look.

Bye.

Don't disappoint me. That's for my son, Hassan.

He's alone in France, poor kid.

Bye, girls.

Khadija.

Will you send us a picture of the Eifel Tower?

Of course. I took the camera.

Be kind to your mother.

Don't be mad, Naïma.

This trip will bring us good things.

-Let's go, Fatah. -Yes.

Bye.

Hop up.

Bye!

Wait, the taxi phone business cards.

Send us pictures by email.

I don't know your email address.

Ask the French, they know.

OK.

Bye, kids. Bye, Boulayoune.

Your husband is brave.

Leaving alone for France. Nice.

But will he come back?

France...

The trip

of Fatah and Jacqueline.

Very good. Fatah and Jacqueline left two days ago.

They'll cross the...

Mediterranean.

Very good.

To go where?

Marseille.

Who knows where Marseille is?

Mohamed.

Very good, Mohamed. Put Jacqueline on Marseille.

We made it!

-Hello. -Hello, sir.

CUSTOMS

Welcome to France, sir.

Thank you very much.

It's quite an occasion.

Thank you very much. Can I take a picture?

All three of you with the cow? You in the cabin, too?

Can I? It's to remember the trip.

Ready? Smile!

Thank you very much!

You're really doing a great job!

Have a nice day, sir.

Thank you, have a nice day, have a nice evening,

have a nice day tomorrow and the day after!

Thank you!

Welcome home, Jacqueline. Welcome.

-Naïma? -Fatah? Are you there?

Yes, I'm in Marseille.

Did my brother Hassan pick you up?

Hassan's not here.

What? Go to his house.

I don't know where he lives.

His address is on the package.

Yeah, alright.

Go see him.

Bye.

I told Naïma Hassan wouldn't come.

He's not reliable.

We have to go to his house, I'm disgusted.

But Hamé Hamed wants me to, so we have to go.

That's what family's all about.

-Hello. -What a nice cow!

-What's her name? -Jacqueline.

Did you see how beautiful Marseille is, Jacqueline?

Hello. Salam aleykoum.

Sir, where are you going with your cow?

To Paris.

The Farmers' Show.

Do you want to stop for a drink?

I don't have the time.

Two euros and forty cents.

-Hello, sir. -Hello.

A doll for girls.

No, phones.

No, that's Chinese, that's junk.

No, it's a phone.

-Hello, ma'am. -Hello, sir.

I'm looking for the city of Lilas, my cousin Hassan's place.

DO NOT WALK ON THE GRASS

Salam aleykoum, Hassan.

Hassan, open the door.

I'm bringing you a package from your father Hamé Hamed.

It's from your father.

-Who gave you my address? -He did.

-My father gave you my address? -He said: "Come..."

-Hello! -What a handsome boy!

-Is this your son? -No, he's not my son. Go inside!

Who gave you my address?

-Your father... -Hello. Who is it?

-A delivery... -I'm his brother-in-law.

No! No, no.

Dad! There's a cow outside. Come see!

-You brought your cow? -Yes.

That dumbass brought his cow!

Are you really family?

-Yes. -Come in then!

-"Zizitoune." -Not "zizitoune", zit zitoune.

Zit zitoune.

It's nice to meet you.

Hassan has been telling me for years that he'll take me to Algeria

to introduce me to his family, but...

-Every time, he goes alone. -We'll go when they grow up.

You have to come to the village, it's nice.

So you're his brother-in-law?

Yes, his sister Naïma is my wife.

OK. Do you have kids?

Two girls, a tall one and a short one who look a bit like him.

It's funny that you'd go to Paris on foot.

I have time, so I walk, I rest. I walk, I rest.

He's a moron, he won't buy a train ticket.

Dad! Ousmane untied the cow.

What? He untied the cow?

Ousmane, get off that cow!

Fatah!

They're messing with your cow, you have to go.

Do you want to stay the night?

No, he can't.

Thanks for the coffee, Stéphanie.

You have to come to Boulayoune to meet Hamé Hamed.

Hassan's dad is nice.

It was so nice to meet you.

Can I give you a hug?

He has to go now.

Go! Get out of here.

-Bye, Fatah! It's a pleasure. -Bye, Stéphanie.

-See you soon. -Thank you for the welcome.

-Bye, Uncle. -Bye, kids.

Hey!

Don't say anything about my wife and kids to the village!

That's too bad.

Your kids are beautiful, so is your wife, and she's blonde!

Why don't you...?

I don't care about your life. You didn't see me.

Don't tell the kids you came to my house.

You're going to embarrass me with your cow and your bags.

As you wish.

Hey! Are you crazy!

Get out of here.

I have to go, I'm in a hurry.

You're going straight to the village?

No, I'm going to Paris.

-What? -Yes.

On foot?

-Yes. -With your cow?

-Yeah. -You're nuts.

You're crazy!

GO OM

Look at this!

These kids have nothing better to do!

Vandals!

I'll get him back!

If I catch him, I'll write on his face, too!

Racists!

Hello.

What's up horses?

It's that way.

In the village, downtown.

That way?

That's right.

Khadija, tell the class where your father and Jacqueline are right now.

Montélimar.

Don't look at that, Jacqueline. You'll have nightmares.

How many days ago did they leave?

One, two, three,

four, five,

six, seven,

eight, nine,

ten!

Easy! Easy!

-Hello, ma'am. -Hello.

I'm sorry to bother you,

my cow and I have walked a lot.

We're tired, we're all wet from the rain.

Do you have somewhere we can get some shelter?

Please.

It's cold.

-Are you OK? -Yes.

Here.

I brought you something to warm you up.

That's very nice.

Thank you.

There.

It's a nice animal. It's a Tarine, right?

-Yes. -Yeah, they're cute.

I know they're brave,

but walking all the way to Paris, you're optimistic.

-Eat up, it'll get cold. -Thank you very much.

We used to go to the Farmers' Show every year.

I haven't had the time since my husband died.

-Is it good? -Very good?

Do you want to take a shower?

No, thank you. I took a shower three days ago.

I'm good until Tuesday now.

-Alright then... -Thank you, ma'am.

Please call me Jacqueline.

See you tomorrow, goodnight.

Did you hear that? Her name is Jacqueline, too.

That's funny.

Mrs. Jacqueline.

-Is that for me? -Yes.

That's nice, thank you.

I'll help you.

Did you sleep well?

Yes, thank you very much.

It's normal, between farmers, we can help each other a little.

Your son works well.

That's not my son.

He's an apprentice.

He goes to the agricultural school nearby.

It's a good thing I have him.

You don't have kids, Jacqueline?

I have two grown boys,

but they left the farm to go work in Paris.

Come on!

If I didn't have any debts, I can tell you I would've

sold all this a long time ago.

You can't just leave now.

Come have lunch with me.

I'd love to, but I'll cook.

-Do you know felfla? -What?

-Felfla. -I don't.

Pepper.

-I do. -That's what I'll make.

I'm going to make a dish I love.

It's with peppers.

You need peppers, tomatoes, garlic.

I have that.

But not much, or you smell like a goat. Then...

There goes my underwear!

This feels nice.

It's a nice plan.

-Shit! Shit! -Hello.

Hello.

Do you mind if we have lunch here?

-No, no. -Thank you.

Make yourself at home.

This is a nice spot.

-Bon appétit. -Thank you.

Would you like to eat with us?

No, thank you. I'm fine.

-Really? -Yeah.

-Not too cold? -No, no, I'm fine.

-Bye. -Bye.

Come on, Jacqueline.

We need to take a picture.

Little kids and big kids,

come try your luck. Everyone wins.

Come on. I'll buy you some cotton candy.

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.

Tonight, I'm going to try the exceptional.

I'm not going to perform a small,

an average, but a huge disappearance.

Curtains!

Attention, concentration.

Hop!

Sir.

-Are you the owner of the cow? -Yes.

-What's her name? -Jacqueline.

-Do you want to see Jacqueline again? -Yes.

Look into my eyes, then!

One, two, three, who's this?

It's Jacqueline.

Jacqueline! Jacqueline! Jacqueline!

Amazing! Your cow didn't move.

It's like she'd rehearsed it. I've never seen that.

I thought she had disappeared, that she had left me.

If she's available, we'll hire her right away.

Claire, let's give Jacqueline a contract.

Watch out, Cathy. You have competition now.

Are you talking about my curves?

Fatah, what do you think of me?

I always prefer fat girls!

The disco ball is here,

the spotlights too, the orchestra too.

We're waiting for you!

Taste this!

No, sir. I don't drink alcohol.

It's not alcohol, it's pear, it can't hurt.

Come on, bottoms up!

There. One more.

You have to drink a second one right away for it to pass.

Go, go!

Let's go dance.

Let's dance.

I'm flying to heaven I'm going to Rio

From Janeiro I'm taking your hand

And our hearts make more noise Than all the cymbals

Of the carnival

You lead me into the crowd

Of a party that spreads its wings

Its laces

And I'm rich with dreams

As are the poor people there

Fatah is amazing! He knows all the words by heart.

Yes, I love these songs.

-It's my specialty at the village. -Let's sing then.

Let's sing a song!

No.

That guy will sing!

Fatah, a song! Fatah, a song!

Here, drink up.

Just one song.

At first I was afraid

I was petrified

How could I live

Without you by my side

Since then I've spent so many nights

Sating that I was wrong,

To blame you

And I got used to it

And you come back,

So sure of yourself

With that look in your eye And stupid, sad words

I should've changed the locks Or just take the key back

If I could've imagined

That you'd come back to trouble me Get out of my life

Don't come back anymore

Because now you know, You're no longer welcome

I want to live now, And as long as I'm here,

I will survive

I will survive

You know the words!

I will survive

Thank you!

Fatah, wake up. Time to go.

What are you doing? Don't wake him up.

Let's take him with us.

What about his cow?

It's a shame, I like him. He's cute.

Take one last picture of me with him, Claire.

Hurry up, girls. I'm waiting for you.

It's OK, he's boring right now, your guy.

-One picture, Fatah. -A kiss!

So good.

Bye, Fatah.

Fatah, I don't even have your number.

Great, we'll keep in touch.

I really like you.

-Your eyes are like guns. -Sure they are.

Fatah sent a picture from France! Come have a look!

-So? -Wait, they're loading.

There.

"Memories from France, from Cathy."

That's a French woman.

There's Fatah!

The kiss.

You think that's funny?

Show us the picture with the kiss.

Let me take you home.

No, thanks. We'll walk.

Naïma...

How long has he been gone? Two weeks?

He's not coming back.

What do you want, Mokhtar?

I'd take you, even with your daughters.

I talked to your father about it. He agreed.

Aren't you ashamed of saying that in front of my daughters?

How will you survive on your own?

Think about it.

You'll regret it.

Sit down.

Is Fatah and Jacqueline's trip over?

Who told you you could speak?

Alright.

Take your notebooks.

The youngest do the beginning, the oldest do the entire exercise.

-Hello, Fatah? -Hello, Samir?

So?

Naïma doesn't want to talk to you.

-Why? -She saw the pictures.

What pictures?

Where you were drinking with girls.

With the fat girl. Have you no shame?

Cathy? It was just a show.

Was eating her face part of the show, too?

No, it was just the show.

Hello, Samir?

-Hello, Fatah? -Hello, Samir?

-Hello? -Samir.

-Hello? -Hello?

Jacqueline, why did I do that?

Why did I drink the pear?

I'm paying for it now.

I'm shamed forever.

Let's go find a hole.

Come on.

We'll never come out of it, Jacqueline.

Ah!

It's a disaster.

It's the end of the world.

That's not right. He said: "It's not alcohol."

He works for the devil!

That's because of the pear.

Jacqueline!

Jacqueline!

Jacqueline!

Jacqueline!

Where are you, Jacqueline?

Jacqueline!

Jacqueline! Jacqueline!

Jacqueline! Jacqueline!

Jacqueline? Jacqueline!

Jacqueline!

What are you doing in there?

Why did you leave? What are you doing here, beautiful?

What's wrong?

Wait, Jacqueline. You have to move.

Move! Come on!

Go! Go!

Sir.

This is private property, can't you read?

I need help. Help me.

Lucien, go see what's going on.

Wait, gorgeous, he's coming to help us.

What's going on?

My cow is stuck in the mud.

Have you tried pulling it by the horns?

I have, but it's not working.

Lucien, don't take all night.

I'll be right back.

-So? -I'm not quite sure.

But I think his cow is silted up in the pond,

and he can't get it out.

Shall we give him a hand?

I think it's muscular.

She must have strained a tendon.

How bad is it?

We have to see how she reacts.

You'll have to let her to rest for a few days.

I can't, doctor.

We have to go to the Farmers' Show.

How are you going to do the cow contest if you can't walk?

Well, Lucien,

put the cow in the stable

and the gentleman in the commons for the night.

We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Armand, can you take the cow? Come and get warm.

-Thank you, sir. -You're welcome.

I declare war!

He said: "I'm not laughing."

I said: "It's alright, I'm declaring war on Poland!"

He said: "Go get Jacqueline, she'll sign."

How will Jacqueline sign with her hoofs?

He said: "Sir, welcome to France.

"Where can I put your stamp?"

I said: "Wherever you want to put them!"

Nicole, can you bring me the rest, please?

-Yes, of course, sir. -Thanks.

Of course the notary knows,

I called him this morning.

Of course!

It'll be too late in six months.

We need money now.

Pear alcohol isn't for me.

Yes, I know.

Nicole. Excuse me a second.

What did you make for lunch?

-A leg of lamb, sir. -Very good.

You can set a place setting for...

For Mr. Fatah.

Yes, Mr. Fatah.

I'm sorry for the delay. In this house, I don't stop running.

When it's not the stables, it's work.

When it's not work, it's the bank.

Are you looking at the painting?

It's nice. It is a painting from the end of the 18th century.

That's my ancestor,

the fourth Count Beaudreux de Cuverville.

And the people around him

are the peasants who worked on his land.

Once a year, after the harvest,

he'd gather everyone in his house to have a big party.

Nice, huh?

Of course, it didn't end well for him. They cut off his head.

Well, shall we eat?

Thank you, Nicole.

Mr. Philippe, have you ever been to the Farmers' show?

It's not my cup of tea.

Being in the middle of 10,000 clowns feeling up cows' asses...

No thanks, Mr. Philippe. I don't drink wine.

When I drink alcohol, I lose my mind.

The other day, I drank pear, I don't know why,

but I was like in a delirium,

it was like a panic attack. I was suffocating.

I... It was like...

Are you OK? What's going on?

I'm fine. Sorry.

It's good.

Where's your wife? Is she dead?

No, my wife's not dead. Why do you say that?

In my village, a handsome man like you who doesn't have a wife

means she's dead.

No, she's not dead.

She left you, huh?

French women always leave.

We shout, we fight,

the house is a mess, but we never leave.

-Why? -Because we don't get along anymore.

We don't get along anymore, so we leave each other.

You'll find a new wife, inchallah.

I don't want to find a new wife, Fatah.

Back home, men twice your age

marry brand-new women.

They come out of the store.

And you, Mr. Philippe,

you have a nice castle, a nice car,

you must have a lot of money.

I actually don't!

That's why my wife left me.

Are you happy now, Fatah?

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Who's that?

Who?

Sitting on the couch.

It's my dog.

Why is he in the house?

Well...

Because it's my dog.

I see.

You seem surprised that my dog is in the living room.

You talk good to your cow.

Yes, but it's not the same.

I've known Jacqueline since she was little.

And her name's Jacqueline?

Yes, she has a French name, because she's a French cow.

If she were a Spanish cow, I'd call her Conchita.

What's his name?

Serge.

It suits him.

Excuse me, your notary has arrived.

OK, tell him I'll be right there.

Can you show him to the office?

Don't move, Fatah.

I was very happy to speak with you.

If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask.

-Bon appétit. -Thank you, Mr. Philippe.

Want some, Serge?

Are you crazy?

You're a dog! You already have a couch!

So, how's the leg?

That's good. It's better. Right, beautiful?

Mr. Philippe, she's already walking a bit.

I see, that's very good.

You want to pet her?

No thanks, that's nice.

-I'm sorry, it's the only way. -I understand.

I'll keep you posted. Have a nice day.

Have a nice day. Thank you for coming.

Are you OK, Mr. Philippe? Are you in trouble?

Nothing serious, Fatah.

It's rich people's problems.

I can no longer afford the castle's upkeep.

I think I'll go for a walk, I need to be alone.

I'll come with you.

Sure, if you want, Fatah.

I need to think, too,

I like to be alone.

You're face to face with your thoughts. You can decide.

Nobody talks to you.

You're alone. It's nice.

You know, God sees that you helped me. That's good.

He'll give you a lot of thawabs.

-What? -Thawabs. It's like points.

If you do something good, God gives you a thawab.

I see.

And I'm sure you have lots of thawabs, Mr. Philippe.

Is that so?

What does it give me? How do you say it?

-The thawabs. -The thawabs?

Can I fix my roof, for example?

I can't afford to right now.

No, that's too expensive.

You'd have to at least go to the Mecca for that,

on foot.

It's a bit far.

Do you have lots of thawabs, Fatah?

I don't have any left because of the pear.

What's that about?

Mr. Philippe, please, I don't want to talk about it, I'm too ashamed.

By the way, this idea of the trip with the cow,

how did you get that idea? By seeing The Cow and the Prisoner?

What cow?

It's a movie with Fernandel.

It's a movie with Fernandel.

You didn't see it?

It's not on your TV?

No, on Algerian TV,

there's no Fernandel, there are no comedy films.

There are only serious men in suits

with moustaches.

-Really? -Yes.

You turn on the TV: moustache.

Change the channel: moustache. Turn off the TV: moustache.

There are programs for children, aren't there?

Yes, there are cartoons with moustaches.

I would've liked to keep you, but...

If I take you with me, we'll sink.

This is your home.

You're used to it. That's right.

You understand the language. I couldn't have kept you anyway.

It's a great scene. It's when he abandons his cow

to cross the river.

It's beautiful.

Farewell, Marguerite.

Farewell, my old friend.

Fatah...

You mustn't get yourself into such a state.

-It's a movie. -Sorry, Philippe.

I'm too sensitive for an Arab.

Even the music is beautiful.

I don't know if...

it's Mozart or Mort Shuman.

It's well-made.

That's what she said.

Did you explain it to her?

I told her it wasn't your fault!

That bastard Mokhtar talked to Hamé Hamed.

What did he say?

Forget it.

I'm going to beat him up!

Bye, Samir.

Are you OK, Fatah?

Not at all, Mr. Philippe.

It's a mess.

Naïma wants a divorce.

What will I do?

Kill myself like Eddy Mitchell?

Well, no!

Do you realize, if Naïma leaves me?

What will I do at home alone?

I don't even know where the kitchen is.

That's annoying.

If she doesn't want to talk to you, can't you write her?

Can you write?

Yeah, a little bit... A word here and there.

I know how to write Fatah,

Bouteflika, FLN.

I'm not sure that's going to help us.

Well... "Sweetheart..."

Oh no, not "sweetheart," it's my wife.

The shame!

My love? My heart?

Nonsense!

What do you call her in private?

Do you have a nickname?

-I call her Aimra'a. -Aimra'a?

Aimra'a means "wife."

You can't start with Aimra'a, wife.

No, it's too cold. What's her first name?

Her name is Naïma.

There you go. Naïma is pretty.

"Naïma..."

"I, Fatah Bellabbes, declare to whom it may concern..."

You're not writing to the IRS, Fatah.

A little poetry.

It's the first time I write a love letter to my wife.

It's not easy, Philippe.

I know, it's hard. I know what I am talking about.

What do you want to say to her?

"Naïma, I'm sorry, but I love you."

-No! -Yes!

You have to say "I love you".

We don't say that back home.

We don't say it randomly either.

But you have to, trust me.

You say it!

Say: "I love you," "Merry Christmas," "Bon appetit," whatever!

Fine, we won't say "I love you."

But if you want to make up,

you'll have to make an effort, buddy.

"Naïma..."

"Naïma,

"It is with great pleasure

"that I take my pen

"to cross the sea that divides us."

There you go, that's very good.

It's really beautiful.

"Naïma, it is with great pleasure

"that I take my pen

"to cross the sea."

"That divides us." That's important.

-The sea that divides us. -"...that divides us."

"Naïma, it's not the fat girl's fault.

"She had nothing to do with it.

"It's my fault."

-Is that good? -It's good, it's honest.

"It's not the fat girl's fault..." That doesn't sound great,

but we'll figure something else out.

The tall fat girl?

-The girl. -The fat girl.

You have to tell her that you love her.

-I can't do it. -Make an effort.

There, I put a stamp on it. All you have to do is post it.

Thanks a lot, Philippe.

-Lucien. -It was a pleasure, Fatah.

Me too.

I hope we'll see you again soon.

-Thank you. -Bye, Fatah.

-Bye, Nicole. -Come visit.

-Bye, Armand. Thank you. -Bye, Fatah.

Well, Fatah...

If you have any problems, don't hesitate.

You have my number, call me.

-Yes, OK. Thank you very much. -It's been a pleasure.

Let's go, Jacqueline.

-Bye, Fatah. -Bye.

Naïma,

it is with great pleasure that I take my pen

to cross the sea that divides us.

I tried to call you several times at Samir's.

But every time, he tells me you don't want to talk to me.

That's why I'm writing you a letter.

Like when everyone said you shouldn't marry me,

you didn't listen to them and you said yes.

I hope that when I get home,

you'll still be there.

That way I can tell you about my trip.

I can also talk to you about love like the French.

They tell me about it.

France is beautiful.

The grass is green, there are flowers everywhere.

One day, we'll both come back here, for sure.

I think of you every day.

"Give my girls a kiss.

"And thank your father again.

"Tell them all that I'm thinking of them

"and that I'm sorry about all this."

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

How are you, Naïma?

I was just passing by. Need anything?

I have everything I need.

As you wish.

Today, I'm in a bit of a rancid mood

If I let go And really say what I think

I'll get in trouble again

Because the world Is half made of jerks

I'm a student

I'm an anarchist, I'm a Muslim

I'm a communist

I'm gay, it pisses people off

I'm Swiss, Belgian, Portuguese

I eat pork, I smoke joints

And on top of that, you know what? Well, I'm Jewish

That's how it is And it's not written on my face

I'm a Muslim

Who drinks punch Half anarchist...

STAND TOGETHER FOR FARMERS

What going on here?

-Welcome, comrade. -Hello.

What section are you from?

I don't understand? What section?

-Where are you from? -Algeria.

-Algeria? -Thank you.

-Welcome. -Thank you.

Come, Jacqueline. Hello, sir.

The meeting's in five minutes in the farm on the left.

OK.

Stay here for five minutes. Stay put.

We've been asking the department for a meeting for six months.

We haven't made any progress.

I know that some of you have doubts.

But I propose that we stay here.

We continue the blockade.

-Yes! -Let's keep going!

I even suggest that tonight,

we meet for an action in front of the prefecture.

Yeah!

And if that's not enough, we'll go up to Paris

and we'll block the Farmers' Show!

Well...

I was just told that

a farmer came from Algeria

to support us. Give him a round of applause.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you all.

And the fight goes on!

Don't break up the Farmers' Show.

Whatever it takes, comrade. Thank you for coming.

Excuse me, sir. Can I ask you some questions?

Sure.

I heard you came from Algeria

and you're going to stay here until the movement is over?

No, I'm leaving tomorrow

because I'm walking to Paris to the Farmers' Show.

OK, and you've been walking for a long time?

Exactly 20 days!

What are you going to do at the Farmers' Show?

I'm going to do the beautiful cow contest with Jacqueline, my cow.

Did you see her?

Look how beautiful she is.

She's very beautiful, yes.

Can I interview you for TV?

Sure.

Good timing, I showered two days ago.

What station?

-Channel 2. -You know Michel Drucker?

-I love him. Say hello for me! -OK.

Hello, my name is Fatah Bellabbes.

I come from a small village called Boulayoune in Algeria,

in the countryside.

In the count...

I forgot my lines.

-Sorry. -It's OK, let's do it again.

Where do I speak? To the camera?

Look at me, it's better.

-Can I say "action"? -If you want.

The cow...

Can you bring the cow closer?

Of course. Come here, Jacqueline.

We need to see you a little. There you go, beautiful.

-You like your cow, huh? -I love her.

Plus I have to be careful,

since she's walked from Algeria to here...

As they say: Who wants to travel far...

He buys a car.

If you can afford it, it's better.

-Let's do it again. -Yes, OK.

-Action! -No.

I say "action". You say "cut".

-I'll say it. -Go ahead.

Action!

Jacqueline, what's going on?

What are they doing?

Don't just stand there, they're charging!

Jacqueline! Jacqueline!

Jacqueline!

She can't be left alone!

Jacqueline!

Get in.

His name is Fatah Bellabbes.

He left Algeria with his cow Jacqueline

to participate in the Farmers' Show.

He's been walking through France for over 20 days.

He intends to arrive in Paris in time for the event.

A truly extraordinary journey

followed by Aline Brémont and Thomas Carachik.

This man who strolls quietly through the roads of France

is not a breeder like the others.

Hello, my name is Fatah Bellabbes.

I come from a small village called Boulayoune in Algeria.

Her name's Jacqueline.

-Hello? -Hey!

Just because he's far away doesn't mean you have to yell.

It's a telephone, not a "yellophone."

-Hello? -They piss me off so much.

I've put them away 100 times.

That's my brother-in-law. Turn it up!

It's your brother-in-law?

From the village. Turn it up.

It's because of the pear, it's not me!

Mr. Philippe! Armand!

What is it?

Come! Come quickly!

Hurry up.

No way!

I've always been a farmer.

The Farmers' Show in France

is the biggest in the world.

Hello? Yes, it's me.

Yes, I know him. At the police station? But...

What do you mean? He's on TV right now, I don't understand.

...with lots of colors...

Yes, alright.

Yes. See you soon.

Lucien, can you hand me the keys to the van?

What's going on?

I have to go help Fatah. He's in trouble.

Do you want me to come with you, sir?

No, no, stay here. Continue the work with Armand.

I won't be long.

NATIONAL POLICE

Next!

Excuse me, I'll just be a second.

Hello. I'm here for Mr. Fatah Bellabbes,

I'd like to see him, please.

I got this. This way, please.

Hello, sir.

-Do you have ID? -Yes.

Have you know Fatah Bellabbes for a long time?

-Yes... Well, no. -Yes or no?

Look, you called me.

I drove over 60 miles to get here.

I'm busy, though.

And you think we don't have anything else to do here?

Why are you keeping him here?

He was arrested at yesterday's demonstration,

he's charged with defacing public property.

Is that enough of an explanation?

What are you talking about? That's not possible.

He's not even from here.

He came from Algeria on foot. He's going to the Farmers' Show.

What's his connection in all this?

Yeah, well, that didn't stop him from trashing the prefecture.

This is nonsense! You can't be serious!

That's enough. Go sit down, we'll call you.

No, I'm not moving from here, I want to see the Commissioner, sir.

Go sit down!

Let go of me, you're a real jerk, sir.

-Excuse me? -Let go of me.

-I know people in very high places. -Great, me too!

We'll talk about this again.

-Mr. Philippe! -Fatah!

You came to get me. Thank you very much.

Did the letter for Naïma work? Have you heard anything?

Nothing at all.

There's no more Naïma, no more Farmers' Show,

no more Jacqueline, nothing!

At least you tried.

Sir, please, you kept my pills up there,

I need to take some now,

I don't feel well at all.

I assure you, it's very important.

-I'll see what I can do. -Thank you, that's nice.

Are you depressed, too?

-Who told you? -No one.

Everyone is depressed here. Is it the fashion?

I don't understand what that illness is.

Where does it hurt?

Nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

You're overwhelmed by your problems. Everything's problematic.

That's what depression is?

Problems.

In Algeria, we're the world champions of depression then.

We have more problems than people.

We have your papers, you can get out.

Let's go.

Yes, you too. Come on!

Thank you, you're very kind.

Yes, alright.

Great job.

-Who's that? -Hassan, my brother-in-law.

Everyone is looking for you, the police called the village.

You're a genius!

People at the village pay for you to go

to the Farmers' Show

and you mess around!

My father told me everything.

You think I have nothing else to do?

Hello, Dad?

I'm with him, he's out.

No, he's not with a fat girl, he's with a weird guy.

I'll put him on. Here, he wants to talk to you.

-Hello? -Hamé Hamed?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Dad, sorry it's me. I...

I can't go with him to Paris, Dad.

There's no one at the taxiphone...

No, Dad...

Hello? Fuck!

You're going to ruin my life!

Where's your cow?

I lost her at the demonstration.

The village is right.

You're not a nobody. You're less than a nobody.

Fatah, I have to go.

I've heard enough of this.

No, Philippe!

-Who's he? -Philippe, my friend.

-You have friends? -Yes!

-You have friends? -Yes!

No one likes you in Algeria, but you have friends here?

I do, and you're not one of them!

Philippe, please, don't leave me alone with him.

I need you to find Jacqueline.

Please.

A cow,

-that's not easy to lose. -We know, sir.

I just arrived in this department. I used to work in parks and rec.

Did you see the flowery roundabout opposite.

Sorry, but we don't care about your life.

We're looking for a cow.

What do you want me to say?

Do you have a recent picture of it?

-Does he think he's Colombo? -I have pictures, lots of pictures.

Here. That's her.

Is that a Tarentaise?

Very nice.

I'm telling you this because

my grandmother had cows in Savoy and when I...

Sir, your family memories are touching,

but we're in a hurry.

What he means is that we don't give a shit about your grandmother.

-Even your grandfather. -Your entire family.

Stay here, I'll go ask around.

Thank you very much.

We'll never get anywhere with guys like him.

I have a solution.

This.

No, you can't. He's a public servant.

We're in France. Put that away, you can't.

-Trust me. -Thanks, Monique.

Could work.

This is extremely embarrassing.

Alright, so eh...

There's a farm up the street

where they put animals awaiting the slaughterhouse.

They close at 5 p.m. Hurry.

-Here's the address. -It's about time, thanks!

Thank you very much, sir, my regards to your grandmother.

No reception!

Why the hell am I here?

I'm in the countryside

with the Duke of Winchester and Cheb Khaled!

How do you lose a cow? What were you thinking?

Your dad was weird, too.

I told my dad I didn't want you to marry my sister.

If you're not happy, you marry your sister!

That way, your kids will look like your mother!

Well done, Fatah!

"Like your mother."

-It's not funny. -It is!

It's not funny!

Philippe! Please stop!

I saw Jacqueline! Hurry up.

Ah, sir!

Sir!

Oh! Sir, stop!

Hey! Hey!

Stop! Stop!

No, no, no.

This is my friend's cow.

I'm taking it to the slaughterhouse.

Look, Fatah, since you've been on TV,

you're a star now, bro.

There's even a Facebook page about you.

Samir from the village set it up.

Look at all these comments. Look!

"A local and his cow at the top."

"Go Boulayoune!" "Yeah, Boulayoune!"

Look, Jacqueline.

Tomorrow's the day, baby.

Fatah will take good care of you, sweetheart.

You'll be as beautiful as a bride. Right, Fatah?

I need to talk to Philippe. You don't care.

They even made a video. Look!

It's trending like crazy.

It's not me...

30,000 views in two days.

Fatah doesn't care about views.

What do you know about Facebook?

You have a castle. You have no clue.

Everyone's following him, he can't let us down now.

Look at the state of the poor guy!

Nobody forced him, he came on his own.

My father bent over backwards so he could make the trip.

He's committed to the whole village. It has to go all the way.

It's a matter of honor.

Fatah doesn't care about honor.

What matters to him is dignity.

Why are you always sticking up for him?

Why are you always helping him?

-No reason. Because he asked me. -Yeah, right.

You're gay for bald guys, huh?

Sure, Hassan. I'm "gay for bald guys."

See, it wasn't so hard.

-You're into bald spots. -Exactly.

Nothing wrong with that.

I respect honest people.

I'm going to bed, Hassan.

I've heard enough for tonight.

Well, goodnight. Goodnight, Fatah.

Fatah, I've cracked his secret.

He's all over the internet this week.

He's walking through France with a cow

to go to the Farmers' Show.

Maxime Switek will tell us more.

Yes, he's been a phenomenon on Twitter over the last few days.

Every move he makes is recorded,

commented on, even copied by some on the internet.

His name is Fatah Bellabbes.

And when you see him, you understand why

all the internet users are crazy about him.

The French people we've interviewed

truly identify with Fatah Bellabbes.

They see him as a simple man who follows his dreams.

Deep down, everyone would like to do what he's doing.

DON'T TOUCH MY TV!

I love this guy! I really love him.

We have to stand with Fatah tomorrow at the Farmers' Show,

and with his cow. Fatah,

we love you! Hashtag FatahWeLoveYou.

Go, Fatah!

I'll see you tomorrow at the same time.

Until then, go to the Farmers' Show

to support Fatah and Jacqueline.

And don't forget: "It's not my fault, it's the pear's fault!"

"It's the pear's fault!"

Fatah! Fatah! Fatah!

Hi, handsome. We love you, we're with you.

Hassan! Hassan!

Hassan, wake up. He's gone.

What?

Fatah's gone, he's not in his room.

Jacqueline's not here either. I'm telling you, they left.

What?

Come on, get up!

-I knew it, I knew it. -"I knew it,"

that's easy to say. You should've said it yesterday.

I knew he was going to leave, I could feel it.

I know him, the guy's a weasel!

He can't do this to us on the day of the show!

We're not even 200 miles from Paris.

Isn't that him? Philippe, hurry!

-It is him! -Fatah,

Fatah! Hey!

Fatah! Fatah, what are you doing? Come on!

I'm talking to you, Fatah. Come.

You're not making any sense! Paris is the other way.

We still have time to make it to the show.

Hop in, Fatah!

Fatah, you can't stay on the road by yourself.

At least come in to talk to us.

I don't need anyone. I don't give a shit.

Fatah!

All of Algeria is watching you.

People are talking about you on TV and the internet

and you want to give up!

You're selfish, you only think of yourself.

-I only think of myself? -Yeah, you do.

I think of everyone, but myself.

I'm sick of you, I'm sick of everybody.

I can be depressed like Philippe too, if I want.

Look how disgusting Jacqueline is!

She looks like a bum. How can I go to Paris like this?

Naïma's leaving me anyway.

It's over. Let me go. I'm leaving.

-I'm leaving. -Naïma?

She asked me to pick you up at the station.

I had her on the phone yesterday. She was proud

when she heard we found your cow. She was happy.

I'm the one who didn't want to give you the phone.

-She wanted to talk to me? -Yes.

How are the girls?

Good.

Did you get my letter?

Yes.

You don't want to divorce me?

Good.

Will you write more?

You liked it?

OK, if you want.

-Ma'a salama. -Ma'a salama.

Fatah, do you have Cathy's address?

Unbelievable!

Cathy's nice.

Is she married?

Come on, Philippe, go faster!

I'm doing my best.

It's an old van, not a race car.

You live in a castle,

and you drive an old van?

Yeah, I do what I can.

Philippe, what's your thing exactly? I don't get it.

-What are you? -What do you mean?

You're a count, viscount, duke, "visduke"?

I'm a count.

Do counts make a lot of money?

We're out of gas. I have to stop.

No, he doesn't make a lot.

I don't understand, do you have money or not?

I don't have a cent. I had money. Well, my family had money.

I have nothing left. I mortgaged the house.

Nothing.

You're an overdrawn count!

Not bad, not bad.

It's a pun.

You're beautiful.

FARMERS ENTRANCE

We're almost there. That's right.

We're on our way.

We're on the highway.

There's traffic, but we won't be long.

These are words of encouragement...

Philippe, we gotta go.

If they start without us, it's over.

Where's Fatah?

He went on a walk with Jacqueline. There he is.

-Who's fault is it? -The pear!

Do you think you're Michel Sardou?

Fatah!

We're in a hurry, come on!

According to our sources, Fatah Bellabbes

is on his way to competing this afternoon.

But the rules are formal.

If he's not here before the start of the competition,

he won't be able to participate.

Why are you here today?

To represent Fatah.

Because Fatah crossed Algeria.

He arrived in France, he didn't drop his pants.

People tried to boycott him, to put obstacles in his way.

But Fatah is a man of his word.

Thank you.

Dedication to the pear and to Jacqueline.

We're close, I can smell the capital. Come on, Philippe, please speed up.

Here come

the famous Tarines. Renaud, you're a Tarine expert.

We're taking you into the Alps,

in the Tarentaise valley. It's the true name of the race,

the Tarentaise, also called Tarine.

A good producer of milk, it's a hardy cow

that's ideal for the steep hills

found in Savoy.

-So? -He's still not here.

We can't wait for him all day,

I don't know what else to say.

We can't start without him. He's on the way,

after everything he's done.

Take a left.

Paris is beautiful.

Oh! Look. Women in mini-skirts.

It looks like it's the first one you've seen.

Yes.

Philippe, look, the Eiffel Tower!

Please stop, I want a picture for the kids.

-We don't have time. -Please, it's for the kids.

-We're late. -We don't have time.

No way.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Just start.

-You can't! -I'm starting it.

-We have no choice. -Of course you have a choice.

We're pleased to welcome the first candidate.

Her name is Ondine.

She comes from the Tarentaise.

We're here, stop!

Turn, turn.

Forward again.

We're here.

Over there!

We're coming, we're coming.

There she is.

There. Easy, easy.

I'm sorry, sir, but it's too late. It's started.

No, no, no, it's not over.

It's the rules: you have to arrive in the morning...

We don't care about the rules. Mr. Bellabbes travelled 1,200 miles

to participate in this contest. Are you going to keep him out?

I know, but we can't.

Listen, I'm a farmer myself,

I understanding your situation.

Mr. Bellabbes came from Algeria.

It's an exceptional event.

Stop him, catch him.

Next is another Tarine from Auvergne.

Her name is Gentiane. She's from Puy-de Sancy, right?

Yes, breeders in Auvergne have chosen to manufacture

their Saint-Nectaire and bleu d'Auvergne

-from... -Excuse me,

could I say a word? It's really important.

Do you know Fatah?

Do you know Jacqueline?

Who's fault is it?

The pear!

Do you want to see them?

Fatah! Fatah!

Come get them with me. They're up front.

Oh, it's getting hot!

Michel, what's going on?

See? Everyone wants him to make it.

-Be reasonable. -Everyone is calling for him.

You can't do that.

Come on!

-Let's go. -Thank you, sir.

Fatah! Fatah! Fatah!

Are you ready?

Finally arrived after all this way?

Yes, that's it, I made it.

And on time in the end.

Yes, and like you say here:

There's no point in running, you have to leave early.

-Good luck. -Thanks!

He is here!

You've all been waiting for him,

you've followed his trip on TV, in the media,

on social networks.

Please give it up for Mr. Fatah Bellabbes

and his cow Jacqueline.

What a trip!

Jacqueline! Jacqueline!

An ovation!

Jacqueline, the star!

And she greets her audience.

It's absolutely incredible!

What a triumph! Come here, come here.

Mr. Fatah Bellabbes!

INTERNATIONAL FARMERS' SHOW

I see that something is being decided

with the jury.

And I think

our friend Renaud has good news for us. We're listening, Renaud.

So, given the goodwill

collected from the public,

the jury, the Show's management team,

has the great pleasure of awarding

a completely exceptional prize to Mr. Bellabbes:

the audience award.

No way!

The audience award goes to Mr. Fatah Bellabbes!

Congratulations! Mr. Bellabbes,

you've finally arrived in Paris,

after an absolutely incredible journey,

please say a few words to your audience.

Thank you, thank you! I didn't know you were all waiting for me,

or I'd have come faster.

Congratulations, Fatah!

Thank you very much.

A word for my wife who stayed in Algeria.

Naïma, it's over. I'm coming home now.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I want you to give a big round of applause

for the people who helped me get here.

First, there's Hassan, my brother-in-law.

Hassan, come over here.

Me?

Hassan!

Look, Hamé Hamed, things are going great with your son!

He's married to a beautiful woman, she's blonde.

And he has two beautiful children.

Hassan, say something to your father.

Dad, it's true, I have a beautiful wife.

Her name's Stéphanie. And I have two beautiful children.

And inchallah, we'll come visit the village.

Please also give a big round of applause

for someone who gave me a hand

when I was in trouble.

Ladies and gentlemen, give Mr. Philippe a round of applause.

Come here, Philippe.

It's him, look!

It's amazing.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Count de Curvilly!

Say something, Philippe. Come on, say something.

Come on, Philippe.

Fatah,

you left Algeria with Jacqueline,

got here, to the Show,

and you crossed the sea,

all of France,

But know that

you've reached our hearts.

Thank you, Philippe. Thank you very much. Thanks, buddy.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, thank you. I want to say one more thing.

For my village in Algeria, Boulayoune,

the pictures weren't my faults,

it's because of the pear!

Vive la France! Vive Charles De Gaulle Étoile!

Thank you! Vive the Farmers' Show! Thank you everyone!

Fatah! Fatah! Fatah!

Thank you!

Jacqueline, the star!

DIRECTED BY MOHAMED HAMIDI

Hello, gorgeous!