Original subtitles

- What are you saying? - These empty rooms.

- Where? - The silent phone.

- What are you talking about? - The silent phone and...

...the indifference of people and...

...nobody looks at me the way you do.

The way you still look at me. Right?

No...

Fantozzi.

No. Out of desperation, no!

- Yes, please! - Let go of me!

- What do you want me to say? - Fantozzi, please!

Take me, Fantozzi!

What do you mean, take you?

I’m not giving you anything.

Let go!

Let go of my foot!

It’s too late now.

No, Fantocci!

Please, give it to me!

Silvani’s condition...

...had suddenly aged him inside.

He hoped to hide his anguish...

...behind a youthful appearance.

Please, take a seat.

Please.

He sat down as a sign of the end.

And began to be consumed by fear of diseases.

Oh oh, my God.

Oh oh oh, my God.

My God... Pina!

Here it is!

The heart attack!

Here!

Yes, Ugo, alright.

This time it’s real!

It’s the real one!

Yes, Ugo.

Yes.

Pina!

Pina! My blood pressure’s like an ant’s!

Calm down.

Calm down.

Pina!

Should I take four Coraxal?

- Huh? - It wouldn’t do anything.

Two drops of Ansianol, huh?

Pina only got seriously worried when Fantozzi...

...bought a coffin on installments from Postalmarket.

She made an important decision...

...that had been brewing for a while.

Phone ringing.

Yes, who is it?

One moment, please. Ugo...

...it’s for you.

- Huh? - It’s for you.

Hotel Caprice.

- Who is it? - I don’t know.

Hello.

It’s me. Who’s this?

Huh?

Yes, I have free time. Why?

Filini, don’t be a jerk!

No, sorry... I thought it was a friend who...

...always pulls pranks...

Yes, I can.

Whenever you want.

Yes, yes.

Even... today, even... right...

Now.

I’m coming right away.

Even...

I’m coming now, now!

Wait, stay there!

Don’t leave!

Intercom.

I found a job, move it!

Fantastic, haha!

What news, Pina.

How great. What is it?

I’m happy.

The Hotel Caprice...

...wants to revise all the price lists...

...prices, menus, accounting...

...delicate and responsible work...

I have to cross out with a marker...

...the last three zeros.

And when do you start?

Don’t you see I’ve already started?

Woman in the kitchen.

I should go, I’ll be late.

Yes, get out of my way.

I’ve already started.

Finally.

So.

In the following days, Fantozzi...

...worked like an Albanian donkey.

Pina left early and returned late, increasingly tired...

...increasingly gaunt.

No dinner? Huh?

You bust your ass like this...

...don’t you deserve some soup?

Let’s go.

- You’re right. -Yeah. - Right away.

Damn it.

Yes, director.

It’s about your husband.

- Is he doing a bad job? - No, he works too much.

Tell him to slow down.

I gave him 700,000 lire for a week’s work.

Let him be, he’s so happy.

He’s a different person now.

As you wish.

But you need to step up.

What I pay your husband, I need to get back from you.

Yes, that was the deal.

What could I do?

Some kitchen work...

Or a Sunday shift or an evening at the club.

The club?

Kitchen.

Alright, director.

Until one Sunday, Fantozzi, out of habit...

...was resting...

- Ugo. - Mmmmm.

- I have to run. - Mmmmm.

Pina!

The cup!

Where are you going on a Sunday!

Huh?

Ugo!

Ugo!

Hi, love.

Sorry, I’m late.

I’ll make dinner.

Ugo!

I’ve got a special dish!

I invented it.

I’d like to know where you go at night...

...while I’m at home working.

Sorry, but...

...I’ve been busy too since you started working.

I joined a charity committee.

I’ve made new friends.

I suspected as much.

Tonight, we’re going to the president’s house.

Actually, I...

I never go out alone at night.

I can’t take you, you’d be bored.

No, no, I’d be in the way, I know, Pina.

Pina...

...will you listen?

But if these...

...friendships were just one tender friendship, I...

...think it’s honest to say so, right?

For our marriage.

Right, Pina?

Pina.

And at a certain age, I think...

it can happen, right?

I swear...

...I’d be very understanding.

Pina?

Are you listening?

Huh?

Pina?

Pina!

Damn it, listen!

Ah! Who’s that?

Everyone solves problems as they can.

I have to go.

You only live once, Ugo.

What’s going on?

Good evening, Mrs. Pina.

Good evening, Antonio, I’m late.

Welcome to the Fosforescent, here’s the miraculous rain that will make...

...your hair glow. Very erotic. Light!

Dark!

Light! Whoa!

You filthy tramp! But...

Unfortunately, that wasn’t Pina...

...but a ferocious Brazilian transvestite, former heavyweight champion...

...in weightlifting.

[Sounds of beating]

[Sounds of breaking glass]

Ha ha...

He works too much.

He’s killing himself to keep his husband in the dark.

What’s wrong, ma’am?

Nothing, I’m fine.

Then get to work, because tomorrow your husband will want his pay.

I’ll do everything, but...

...that job is his whole life.

Ugo!

Still awake?

I waited for you.

I tidied up a bit.

I saw, thanks.

Why did you wait for me?

You’re up at 6 tomorrow.

I quit.

What happened?

Nothing.

It had no future, and...

...I’d rather do nothing.

Aren’t you afraid of getting bored?

No.

As long as you’re here to keep me company.

Of course, Ugo.

I...

...know I’m asking you to sacrifice...

...when I ask you to give up your friendship.

But I’ve realized you don’t need much to be happy.

You just need to accept life as it comes.

What a joy to hear you say that.

But how did this happen?

The years teach you something.

Turn off the light.

Can I tell you something?

Sure.

I respect you so much.

I’m happy to grow old with you.

[Music box]

Despite the promises made to his wife...

...Fantozzi remained attached to his memories...

...and had taken to, at the end of the workday...

...diving into nostalgia.

Done for today? Already finished?

Fantozzi!

Get in!

Get in!

Ah...

Come on, Fantozzi.

Dear and loyal Fantozzi.

So, inferior?

Feeling nostalgic?

You can’t do without us.

I understand.

No, at most, kiss my hand.

Tell me the truth.

Would you like to come back to work?

Your Majesty, I confess I’d work even for free.

Not for free.

Well... better.

Would you even give up your pension?

I... forgive me, sire, but...

...I’d have to... pay to work?

Of course, Fantozzi.

You no longer have a right to work.

If we, as an exception, rehire you...

...you don’t get the pension.

Uh...

...fair enough.

Consider that we’re taking risks with the laws...

...unions, insurance...

...to see you happy again, like before.

Thank you.

Sorry, sire, but then this...

...would be some kind of...

...under-the-table...

...work.

We prefer to call it gray.

Like your hair.

Do you accept?

With...

With great enthusiasm.

I confess that...

...I’d start living again.

You can’t tell, but I’m dying inside.

Have a seat.

- Where? - There.

Here?

- Good work. - Thank you.

- Oh, Fantozzi! - Huh?

I forgot.

The watch.

Wait.

[Music box]

It’s fair.

Very fair.

- Filini. - Fantozzi.

You said you were doing fine.

Much better here.

Lallallà.

Miss Silvani.

Listen, don’t bother me. Here.

Like the good old days.

Good old days.

- Here, Fantocci. -Take it. - These too.

Thanks. Thanks, huh?

And so it begins!