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The following program

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Oh.

Hey.

Get your dirty hands off my garment.

Boy.

Boy, I'll have a pony of Grand Marnier.

I thought maybe you was standing on your knees.

We don't serve no kids in here,

and besides, I never heard of whatever it was you ordered.

Draw.

I was only joking, sonny.

Well, I don't think it's funny, and don't call me "sonny,"

you big ox.

Now, come on, when I say draw, I mean draw.

What's your beef, runt?

This, this employee of yours...

He picked the wrong guy to poke fun at.

I don't take belittling remarks from nobody.

You ain't even packing a gun.

Aw... I mean, draw a card.

Yeah, low man buys drinks for the house, huh?

Oh, no, you don't.

Look, you want a drink, you pay for it

and then clear out of here.

What's the matter, you afraid to draw?

Cut 'em.

Drink up, folks, it's on the house!

Hey, you're a cheat.

I don't know how you done it,

you miserable little runt of a cheater.

I'll take you into court for that libelous remark.

You'll have to pick yourself up out of the gutter first.

Maybe that'll keep you from palming them cards for a while.

In case you're a lefty, that'll insure the deal.

All right, now, you fellers have had your fun.

Now leave the little man alone.

I caught him cheating at cards.

You did no such of a thing.

I beat you fair and square, and you, you're a sore loser.

I said leave him alone.

He's a stinking card shark.

I don't care what he is.

You fellas have hurt him enough,

and if anybody wants to argue about it, you got to talk to me.

Just stay out of my saloon, runt.

Let me go, I'll pulverize him!

You ain't gonna pulverize anybody.

Let me go, let me... What are you doing?

Put me down.

Now, come on, put me down.

What are you doing?

Come on, put... Ow.

As for you, you know what I'm going to do?

I'm gonna come back and I'm going to cut you down to size.

Why, you...!

I'll cut you down to size, that's what I'll do!

Whoop-ho.

Well, this is where I turn to the right for the Ponderosa.

That trail right out there leads

into the main road to Carson City.

Yeah.

Still think you ought to take me up on that offer

and ride on out to the Ponderosa with me

and soak them hands in some hot water and liniment.

Sure would take a lot of the soreness out.

Look, I don't take no favors from nobody.

Just... just toss me my suitcase, huh?

If there's one thing I can't stand,

it's somebody feeling sorry for me.

Look, there ain't nobody feeling sorry for you, little buddy.

It's just that, well, I figured you're gonna need a little help,

you ain't gonna make it.

What are you trying to do?

Be a big hero, huh?

Big man saves little runt from mob.

Well, I know your kind; I've dealt with 'em all my life.

And don't call me buddy.

Look, I don't take that kind of talk from nobody, mister.

Now, come on, I'll go a couple rounds with you

right here and now if you want. Come on!

The shape them hands is in,

you'd have a rough time putting a dent

in a bowl of mashed potatoes.

Don't!

Don't... laugh at me.

Well, I...

I'm tired... of being laughed at.

Little buddy, there ain't nobody laughing at you,

and there ain't nobody feeling sorry for you, neither.

It's just that...

I understand your problem, that's all.

But you remember this:

There's two ends to that stick.

I'm on the other end of it.

It's just as bad being too big.

Did you ever think about that?

Who ain't got a problem?

You get back up here in this buggy.

We're going to the Ponderosa whether you like it or not.

Hyah-up!

What're you trying to do, scald me?

Sit down! That water is supposed to be hot,

and that's the way I'm gonna keep it.

- Put your hands in it. - It's hot enough now,

you could stew a chicken in it.

Huh. Morning, Hoss.

Oh, McGee!

Now, let's have a look at those.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're coming along pretty good.

Put 'em back in, now.

You know what you ought to do?

You ought to exercise 'em.

Open and close. Open and close.

That way, you get the muscles back to normal again.

You're a very lucky young fella, you know that?

You could've had the bones of both those hands broken.

He'll be lucky if I don't break his head when I get better.

Oh, come on, now, that's no way to talk.

- Pa's right, McGee. - Sure, he's right.

You can say that... nobody stepped on your hands.

Hoss, there's a couple business things

I have to discuss with you.

Come in as soon as you can, huh?

Yes, sir, I'll be right in, Pa.

Joe Foster told me all about him.

Your friend McGee has been mixed up

in all kinds of questionable deals.

But, Pa, if we turn him out now, it's...

it's just like throwing him right back to the wolves.

Hoss, he's a bad-tempered little man!

I know that!

But the reason he's a bad-tempered little man

is because he's got a chip on his shoulder,

because of his size!

Pa... you remember something?

When I was a young'un,

and all the other kids in school used to tease me about my size,

and I'd get so dad-gum mad I'd want to break all their necks,

and you'd tell me, you'd say, "Son...

you got to learn to live with what you are."

Do you remember that, Pa?

- Yes, I remember. - All right.

That's what I've got to do for this man, Pa.

I've got to teach him that.

Pa, all I'm asking is that you...

that you help me get him a decent job

in Virginia City, that's all.

All right, Hoss, I'll...

I'll do what I can.

Thank you, Pa.

St. Francis of the Ponderosa.

♪ I've worked in towns ♪

♪ From east to west ♪

♪ And they said Virginia City ought to please me best ♪

♪ It's true what they told me ♪

♪ I guess I'll stick around ♪

♪ My urge to roam ♪

♪ Is in the past ♪

♪ I came from San Francisco, but I'm home at last ♪

♪ Your smile's really sold me ♪

♪ I guess I'll stick around ♪

♪ There is one other part ♪

♪ Of my plan ♪

♪ I want to solve ♪

♪ If I can ♪

♪ I long ♪

♪ For a man ♪

♪ Who'll volunteer ♪

Anyone here?

♪ It won't take much ♪

♪ To fill the bill... ♪

Oh, Hoss, I don't think it's gonna work.

If they recognize me they'll throw me out.

Come on here, now, little buddy, you're with me.

If anybody in there starts any kind of yappin' that's gonna

cause trouble, I'm gonna stick that right down their throat.

Uh-uh! Now you're getting feisty.

No, I ain't.

Look... I'm just gonna introduce you

to the most important people, and you're gonna be Mr. McGee,

plain and simple, you understand that?

Anybody starts asking any questions,

just don't pay 'em no mind, you hear?

And remember this... saunter...

don't strut.

And no matter what anybody says, keep smiling,

keep a smile on your face.

Now, come on, give me a big smile.

Yeah. Hey, let's go.

That's it, come on.

Hi.

My friend and I'll have a beer.

Yeah.

Now, that's good, little buddy.

You're doing real good.

Hey, Whizzer, come here a minute.

Back over here at this front table,

you see the man in the black hat with the big cigar?

Yeah.

That's the postmaster, very important man.

See the old man standing there talking to him?

He owns the Frontier House, the second best hotel in town.

Now, they're both good men to know.

Now, come on over here a minute.

You see this old man setting back here by himself?

That's old Mashburn.

Now, he's a nice old man, he's a little deaf,

so when I introduce you to him, speak right up, you hear?

- What's that you say? - I said...

Come on.

Mr. Mashburn, this here is Mr. McGee!

Oh, hello there, Hoss.

Who's the young fellow with you?

I say, this here is Mr. McGee!

Oh, yeah, Mr. McGee.

Hiya there, sonny!

Don't pay him no mind.

He's a nice old man, he's just a little deaf, that's all.

Howdy, Mr. Mashburn!

What's that you say, son?

Speak up.

I said, "Howdy!"

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sit... sit down. Come on.

Well, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Mashburn.

Well, Whizzer, it's getting sorta late.

I imagine you and me better be pulling out.

It's been nice chatting with you, Mr. Mashburn!

I'll see you tomorrow!

Sure... and you can move into that room

in the back of the store anytime, sonny...

So, up with the hens, down with the roosters,

- like the fella says. - Yeah.

Yeah, well... goodnight, Mr. Mashburn!

Goodnight.

After working for him, I can get a job hog-callin'.

You gentlemen aren't leaving?

Well, yeah, Miss Melissa, we thought we'd be pulling out.

You mean, you're not going to stay for my next number?

I was going to sing it especially for

you two fine-looking gents.

Well, thank you, Miss Melissa,

but it's gettin' kind of late.

We'd better run.

Hoss... just... just one little old number, huh?

Ah, that's the way I like to hear a man talk!

George!

♪ What did you do to capture me? ♪

♪ I look at you and I'm all at sea ♪

♪ In my eyes, in my eyes ♪

♪ You're the devil in disguise ♪

♪ To some, I know, you may not seem ♪

♪ The Romeo of a maiden's dream ♪

♪ In my eyes, in my eyes ♪

♪ You're the perfect shape and size ♪

♪ In the game of love I've played some ♪

♪ It was always hit or miss ♪

♪ I have lost a few and made some ♪

♪ But none ever thrilled me like this ♪

♪ Don't back away ♪

♪ And break the spell ♪

♪ Your glances say what your lips can't tell ♪

♪ Play it smart ♪

♪ Play it wise ♪

♪ Make your heart realize ♪

♪ That this look in my eyes ♪

♪ Is love... ♪

'Morning, Mr. Mashburn.

Five-eighths lug nuts...

five-eighths bolts...

Nuts, bolts, bolts, nuts...

Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

That's no five-eighths.

It's half-inch.

What are you doing? Checking up on me?

Now don't you get feisty with me.

How's it goin' so far?

How's it goin'?

Hoss, I saw $1.40's worth so far today.

Hey, you want to see my quarters?

Come on. Follow me.

This, this wash basin

was passed down from the barber of Seville.

It's been patched and plugged so many times,

it leaks faster than you can fill it.

You know, I tried to sell myself a new one,

but I couldn't afford it.

I'll tell you what, Whizzer.

Old Hop Sing's been needing a new stove for a long time.

Now, if you can ride out to the Ponderosa

and convince my Pa, you'll make yourself a sale,

and pick up a nice little commission on top.

Hey, I might take you up on that.

I'll see ya out there.

Real handy place to have a bank.

If a fella had any money to put in it.

Clink, Clink, wait a minute.

What is it, Melissa, I'm busy?

You have to read this.

From that little runt McGee.

The one that works over at Mashburn's.

Uh-huh.

"The soft velvet texture of your skin...

"the deep limpid pools of your eyes,

"which cast a reflection of your beauty on my very soul."

Huh. I wonder where he copied that?

I don't care.

I think he makes a very good point.

"You are the woman I have always dreamed

"would enter my life.

"Melissa, will you have dinner with me tonight?"

You better watch your step.

I just might run away with that little midget.

So he works for Mashburn?

Big deal.

He probably pulls in all of $3 a week.

Yeah? Well, you write him a note.

Tell him you accept his invitation to dinner.

What?

Wear your most, uh,

beguiling gown. Lead him on.

Lead him on?

Oh, now, wait a minute.

Nobody tells me what to do.

Not even you, sweetie.

Well...

Not even if I make it worth your while?

Well, uh... - that's different. - Good.

Gentlemen, I think I've found a way

to solve our financial problems.

Through Mr. Whizzer McGee.

I've just discovered a foolproof way

to get into the bank.

Bill, go get a bottle.

I'll tell ya about it.

♪♪

Champagne?

Can you afford a bottle of Champagne?

The best in the house... for you.

Melissa...

well, well, now that I got you here alone...

there's something I wanna talk to you about.

I think I've heard this before,

but, um, what's your version?

Mr. McGee, my tastes in life are rather more than...

ordinary.

The man I choose must have means.

To be quite blunt,

it would take a lot of money to tempt me into marriage.

I'll have money, Melissa, I promise ya.

When? Two years from now?

Maybe five, ten?

I want money while I'm still young enough to count it.

Well, I-I-I... expect to inherit...

inherit a large sum of money.

Any day now.

Really?

Oh, you, you mean you have rich relatives?

When I do, I'll, I'll make you

the belle of Virginia City.

I'll buy you all the latest fashions.

I'll sprinkle gold dust in your hair.

Melissa?

Mr. McGee, you fascinate me.

But right now I've got to get ready for my number.

When, uh, when I come back,

we'll, uh, we'll talk some more

about your rich relatives, hmm?

And in cash.

You know...

been meaning to speak to you. Yes, sir.

I, uh, I've been meaning to speak to you

about establishing credit in your little establishment.

You mean you can't pay this?

A temporarily short of funds this week.

However, by next week, I'll be able...

Next week, nothin'!

I ought to know better, you little chiseler.

I ought to squeeze you two feet shorter than you are.

Hey, what's going on?

This little runt's trying to stick me with this big check.

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.

Look, I'm not runnin' this joint for charity.

Just put Mr. McGee's bill on my account, Red.

What?

Yeah, he's a friend of mine. I'm glad to help him out.

I don't understand.

I know how it is to be "temporarily short of funds".

So just count on me for any credit you need.

Oh.

But right now, let's have a little drink.

Bernie.

Deal me out of this one, boys.

Come in.

- Oh, excuse me... - Come in, come in, come in.

I'm used to having people drop in while I'm dressing.

I-I could wait out here.

That's all right.

Have a seat, Mr. Cartwright.

I'll only be a minute.

I want to talk to you about Mr. McGee.

Oh? What about McGee?

He's a friend of mine, ma'am.

I sorta have a stake in his future.

Sure would hate to see him get loused up.

And what is that remark supposed to mean?

Mr. McGee proposed marriage, Mr. Cartwright.

Yeah... I was afraid he would.

That's just exactly the point, ma'am.

I...

I don't think Whizzer's ready for marriage.

Now, let me tell you something.

If I want to marry Whizzer McGee, or anybody else,

I'll make up my own mind. I'm a grown woman.

Yes'm... you sure are that, all right.

As a matter of fact, I may seriously consider

Mr. McGee's proposal...

as soon as he comes into his inheritance.

His inheritance? What inheritance?

Mr. McGee happens to have some very rich relatives.

We were discussing them at dinner.

Ma'am... Whizzer McGee is an orphan.

What?

He don't even know who his relatives are.

As a matter of fact, he don't even know what his real name is.

He just picked McGee from some Faro dealer

he once knew or something.

Why that dirty, lying, little squirt.

Well... thank you for the talk, ma'am.

Men. I'll just never learn.

Good night.

Whizzer, could I talk to you for a minute?

Sure. Well, Hoss, you know Clink Otis don't you?

Yeah. Hi.

If you could step outside with me I'd appreciate it.

Yeah, sure.

Excuse us for a minute.

Naturally.

Look, Whizzer...

I don't wanna seem like I'm preaching no sermons

to you or nothin', but...

I don't like the company you're keeping.

W-W-Well, Hoss...

Otis just come in and sat down with me.

Yeah, I know, I know. I seen him.

I don't trust him, Whizzer. He's the kind of feller

that can get you mixed up in somethin'...

I know.

Oh, no,

I'm not gonna get mixed up in anything.

Well, it's just...

he might be a potential customer.

If I'm gonna get anywhere in this town,

I got to start someplace.

Look, Whizzer, Mr. Otis ain't the kind of man

that's gonna be buyin' nothing from Mr. Mashburn.

Now if you want to get started and started right,

you'll come on and go out to Ponderosa with me

right now and convince my Pa to order that stove.

I know.

I know, Hoss.

Okay, let's go, huh?

This particular model of the Wellington High-Boy,

Mr. Cartwright, has a special double-reinforced oven,

yes, sir, and a semi-adjustable flue cleaner.

Why, it's an eight pot burner.

It comes complete with the Wellington High-Boy

shut-off shuttle plate.

Hoppy can make the best Irish stew you ever tasted.

Yes, Brook Trout a la Joseph of the Ritz,

and Diablo of Sacramento Catfish Supreme!

All right!

I have just bought the Wellington High-Boy.

Put 'er there, Mr. Cartwright.

You made a wise decision.

Get plenty good cooking now.

We gonna eat like regular Frenchmen, ain't we, Pa?

You do pretty good on plain American cooking, Hoss.

Ah, Pa, you know that's all muscle.

♪♪

Come in.

Mr. Mashburn!

Oh, mornin', sonny... I mean McGee.

What can I do for you?

Well, I, I sold a new Wellington High-Boy

to the Cartwrights last night.

I need some cash.

Could I have an advance on my salary?

Store policy: No Advances.

Made the policy myself and I live up to it.

- Right to the letter. - Yeah, I know, but...

A rule is a rule and that's that.

Oh, by the way, McGee,

better make some arrangements to get that stove

out to the Cartwrights.

Melissa.

Who's there?

It's me... McGee.

You sneaking, little liar. How dare you come here?

I don't know what you're talkin' about.

Oh, you don't?

Rich relatives? Ha.

Why you don't even know who your own folks were.

Who told you that?

Your friend Hoss Cartwright, that's who.

Well, I never said...

I-I had rich relatives.

I just said I'd have money someday,

and I will.

Sure you will.

Melissa...

Have dinner with me tonight, huh?

Let me explain.

How you gonna pay Big Red?

Words?

D-Don't you worry about that.

Just say you'll have dinner with me.

Listen, Mr. McGee.

I work here, so I'll be here.

Other than that, just remember what I said...

the men in my life are spelled M-O-N-E-Y.

Sure... Sure, honey.

Hey, I'll see you tonight, huh?

Yeah, come in.

I hear your looking for me, Whizzer.

Hey, Otis,

look, I'll get right to the point.

You offered to lend me some money.

Well, I'm broke. I need some right away.

Sure, sure,

just as soon as you do a little job for me.

Keep talkin'.

I need access to your room tonight.

Just leave the alley door unlocked, see.

Then go over to the Silver Dollar, or anywhere you want,

and spend the evening.

You're planning on robbing Mashburn?

No.

No, I promise ya, Mr. Mashburn's Emporium

won't be disturbed.

I think I oughta know a little...

bit more about what's going on.

The less you know, the less you got to talk about.

Just go over to the Silver Dollar,

and no one will ever know you've been involved.

Nah.

Nah, I'm not so sure I want any part of it.

I'm gonna pay you a pretty penny

just to leave a door unlocked and keeping your mouth shut.

Now you want it or not?

Hey, wait a minute.

When do I get my money?

Come on over to the Silver Dollar any time.

One thing...

keep your mouth shut, or you'll be a dead little squirt,

instead of a live one.

We pull the job tonight, Saturday.

That gives us all day Sunday for the wagon

to head for Sacramento.

By the time they open the bank Monday,

they'll never trace it.

And then we join the posse to make sure they don't.

What if McGee gets wise

we're using his room to get through to the bank?

The only thing McGee is interested in is Melissa.

And I've seen to it that he's got the money

and opportunity to... pursue his hobby.

- What a sucker. - Yeah.

Yeah, he's a five-foot man

with six-foot ideas.

♪♪

Bartender.

Another brandy, my dear?

No thanks. I have work tonight, remember?

Someday, someday soon,

you won't have to work anymore at all.

You'll have other people working for ya.

Now let's not start that inheritance business again...

But I'm telling you the truth.

I will have money someday.

Look, I gotta deliver a stove

to the Ponderosa tomorrow.

Why don't you drive along with me?

The fresh air will do you good.

Fresh air makes me sneeze.

I might have a surprise for you.

What kind of a surprise?

Why don't you come along and find out.

Well... Hey, Whizzer.

I've been lookin' all over for you.

Kinda living high on the hog, ain't ya?

Please.

I must get ready for my number.

What about what we were talking about?

Well, if you're not too early.

What's that all about, Whizzer?

Whatever's between me and my lady friend

is none of your business,

and I wish you would kindly remember that.

Your lady friend?

That's what I said.

Pretty expensive looking vittles.

You keep eatin' like this,

and that commission from that stove

ain't gonna last you two nights, little buddy.

Don't!

Don't, don't you... little buddy me.

Ya double-crossin'...

Hey, what's got into you?

What's got into me? You!

Ya going behind my back to Melissa.

You're trying to break us up.

Aw, sit down, Whizzer.

Melissa don't care nothing about you.

She don't care nothing about nobody unless they got money.

Meaning I'll never have any, huh?

I didn't say that. Five, ten years...

Five, ten years!

Wait a minute. Where you goin'?

None of your business.

J-Just because you done me a favor once,

well, that doesn't mean you can run my life.

Hey, Otis.

What are you doing here?

I just saw Mr. Mashburn at the Silver Dollar.

He's on his way over here.

Yeah, well, get in my room till I get rid of him.

Howdy, Mr. Mashburn!

McGEE: Ah, McGee.

Now what are you doing here, huh?

Uh, I just come over to...

check out that inventory... Mr. Mashburn.

Ah, that's right smart of you,

young feller.

Yes, sir, but it's all taken care of

now, Mr. Mashburn.

Why, why don't you go home and get a good night's sleep?

Yeah, well,

I might just do that, young feller.

Good night, McGee.

Yes, well, good night, Mr. Mashburn.

I said, good night.

Good night, McGee.

He's gone. You can come out.

Yeah. Thanks.

Okay, let's get this crate out of here.

Whoa.

Hey, Whizzer, I was just coming out to help you load that.

It's already loaded.

I figure, I'm gonna be a big merchant in five or ten years,

I got to give the customers some service, you know.

You ain't still mad?

Nah. Nah, I feel fine this morning.

Hey, I'll tie my horse on behind and ride out with you.

Well, not yet.

Melissa's gonna ride along.

- Melissa? - Well, sure.

Fresh air'll do her good.

Here, Whizzer, I'll drive.

Keep. Giddyup.

Mike.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be with the wagon.

I got news for you.

The wagon tipped over in a creek bed.

One of the crates popped open.

All that was in it was nuts and bolts.

Nuts and bolts?

Somebody pulled a switch.

Mm-hmm. Guess who.

Yeah, and we fell for it when that little runt told us

that old man Mashburn was coming to check the inventory.

That's when he made the switch, the dirty little rat.

Come on. I bet I know what happened to our money.

Hey, Pa, Adam, Joe.

Come on out and look at the new stove.

Hey, Pa?

Hop Sing only one here.

They all come back after sundown.

You got new stove!

Yeah. Ain't it pretty?

Hey, Hop Sing you got anything to eat in there?

Catch 'em plenty good pigs' feet cooking.

- Good. - Oh, please.

Um, yeah, Hop Sing, that...

We ought to be able to beat that.

That-That ain't quite fitting and proper for a lady.

Oh.

Uh, go in there and see if you can't round up something else.

Stay with me, Melissa.

I'll go water the horses, Hoss.

All right.

Meantime, me and Hop Sing will scramble up something to eat.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whizzer?

Whizzer, why are you locking us up in here?

Now, remember, I outweigh you by 20 pounds.

- Shh. - Cut it out!

Now, now, close your eyes.

- Close my...? - Yeah, close 'em.

Here.

Where'd you get all this?

You rob a bank?

No, but didn't I tell you I'd have money, Melissa?

Didn't I?

Why, this... this'll buy us San Francisco.

New York and Europe.

We'll-we'll stay at the grandest hotels, and

I'll-I'll buy you clothes, diamonds.

Oh, stop, you...

you've gone too far, too... too fast.

Why, sure.

Sure, honey.

But... you'll be going as Mrs. Whizzer McGee.

Well, you know that, don't you?

How much did you say you've got?

The whole stove's full of money!

But there's one thing, though.

Oh. Sure. Sure, there always is.

No. I want us to leave from here, not go back to town.

And leave all my things?

I'll get you better things.

Ten times better!

I'll-I'll unload the money.

You-you go in and entertain Hoss, huh?

Hey, what are you two doing out here?

I thought you was gonna take the...

Where'd you get that, Whizzer?

He inherited it.

While I'm worried about you cheating at cards...

you were out robbing a bank, right?

No. No, I did no such of a thing.

Where'd you get it?

I found it.

Yeah, I-I found it, Hoss.

And finders are keepers, you know that finders are keepers.

You found it at a bank...

That's exactly where you're gonna take it right back to.

No!

No, Hoss!

This... this is my big chance.

My big chance.

A-All my life it's been small stakes.

Penny-ante.

Little man.

But money, Hoss... M-Money'll make me big.

Whizzer,

there ain't nothin' gonna make you big except yourself...

You yourself.

Now, if you go through with this,

you'll be running and hiding the rest of your life.

That's all I've ever done!

Whizzer, now you got a chance to change all that.

Back at Mashburn's.

Mashburn's?

Oh, why don't you get out of his way,

you... you outsized oaf!

Where's that runt, McGee?

What do you want with him?

He's got something that belongs to me.

Dang little fool!

What'd you do that for?

It's my money, and they ain't takin' it!

McGee! Listen to me!

You give us back the money, and we'll let you have a split!

So... it's Clink's money!

Why, you little weasel!

No! It was never his.

Please, Melissa, stay with me.

And get shot? Oh-ho, no, thanks, shorty.

- This is the end of the line. - No, please!

You know your trouble, McGee?

You're an itty-bitty frog trying to swim the ocean.

A little man in a big, big world.

Now that I think about it, I wouldn't have gone away with you

for all the money in the world! Clink!

Hold on! It's Melissa! I'm coming out!

I... I know it was just the money.

I could get three... four of her...

anyplace.

Whizzer, come on.

We can't hold 'em off with one gun.

Let's go through this back door to the house

and get a rifle.

Hold it, Cartwright.

Just take it easy and nobody'll get hurt.

Otis... Whizzer ain't takin' that money.

It's going back to the bank.

It's going with me!

I don't care if I have to kill the both of you.

Well...

I reckon that's what you're gonna have to do.

Stop! Drop your gun!

This gun shoot very wide.

Whizzer... why'd you want to go

and do a dang fool thing like that for?

Why?

'Cause... you're the only friend...

I ever had, Hoss.

Oh, Whizzer.

You could've had lots of friends.

Nah.

Melissa was right.

I'd always be a... a little man...

in a... big world.

Clink!

He's dead.

The little man?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah... little man.

You got any other names you'd like to call him?

Like runt?

Weasel?

Shorty? Half-pint?

You got any other names?

That's what he was, wasn't he?

A little man?

Yeah.

A little man, to you and the rest, but...

not to me.

♪♪

This has been a color presentation

of the NBC Television Network.