Original subtitles

[Kristen] Previously on American Classic...

You didn't tell her the truth.

You can't act. You can't act.

I think I might have. Yes.

Now, of course, Boyle will pull the plug,

all this will disappear,

and I will have broken Miranda's heart.

I mean, how would you feel if it was your own daughter

that was the cause of this whole project going arseways?

Maybe she should take a gap year after all.

And I was hoping you would be open

to just to toning down the casino protests.

Are you bribing me right now?

I need a place to store 200 theater seats.

Oh, God!

I've got three empty spaces in Main Street.

I'm not playing Mrs. Webb.

The best work I have ever done has been with you.

I lost Miranda's college fund at a casino.

Since when do you have a gambling problem?

[Jon] I don't. It's a freak thing.

When I went to the casino with Boyle.

Don't let the devil win.

Not this time.

Councilman Bean will cast the deciding vote.

No.

[cheering]

Say goodbye to your rain, genius.

[lighthearted music]

[Miranda] Mom.

Got chocolate milk and berries.

Your favorite.

Turnout was really good yesterday.

You know, like, democracy lives.

So there's that.

[Miranda] Mm.

Listen, I know you wanted to save the town.

It just wasn't the right solution.

But you'll find a better one.

You're the best mayor this town has ever had.

-Shit. -[Jon] Hey, honey.

You wanna talk about what happened?

-Nope. -Okay, um...

I just--I wanna say...

you're the best mayor this town has ever had.

Shit.

"Well-meaning, but unqualified"?

"Ineffectual." "Mis-cast Mayor."

This is bullshit.

You've worked your ass off for this town.

I think they're right.

[mischievous music]

[man] Put everything that you need. The cart has to go.

[woman] This one? Could you move your feet?

[Hugo and Pat chattering]

[Hugo] That's not your lights, 'cause it's from the kit--

Don't touch this light--

What the hell?

What--What happened?

Boyle happened.

Boyle?

Sometimes the devil hath power

to assume a pleasing shape.

There's the fella!

-Come to gloat? -Abso-fucking-lutely.

And to give you this.

A lesson.

A donut cost a smidge over ten cents to make.

Now just say you sell that donut for a buck.

Even after labor and marketing,

it's still a profit of 700%.

Now, take your man Stephen Sondheim.

He wrote 15 Broadway musicals and only three recouped.

And he's a fucking genius, is he not?

So donuts pay, theater doesn't.

Good luck with your show now or whatever's left of it.

-[workers chattering] -[horse neighing]

Holy shit.

Boyle paid for all of this?

Yeah. Yeah.

So when you told that story at the council vote...

Yeah, I was fully aware that this might happen,

but I--I--I was consumed

with the need to, I don't know, do the right thing

and just--[pops] out it came.

Yeah.

Happens to the worst of us.

[Hugo] Easy with that, guys. Yeah.

[workers chattering]

-Ah... -[Richard clears throat]

[soft guitar music]

Richard, my son. My star.

[sighs]

Yeah, Dad--

Uh--

Everything's falling apart.

We don't have a set. We lost the rain.

We lost the soda fountain. We lost the horse--

This is good news.

Now you'll have to do the play

the way it was supposed to be done.

Dad, I--I don't think the company's gonna like

the new concept.

Of course they will.

Actors are the most loyal

and wonderful people you'll ever meet.

They'll go to the ends of the earth for their director.

Hm, the new concept is we don't pay them.

Well, then they'll probably quit.

That's why I work with puppets.

Hm.

[Richard] Welcome.

I have a confession I need to make.

I did not pay for this production with my own money.

The truth is, all the monies for this production

were provided by Connor Boyle.

Do not say that man's name to me!

He is a huge asshole.

And, yes, I have left him.

And now he is taking away horse

because you shit in casino.

-On casino. -It--Yes.

Whatever it is you say. You know, I just--

I cannot-- I cannot be with a man

who does not appreciate the art.

I'm so sorry, guys.

Now I'm just gonna be staying at the Embassy Suite.

So...

Thank you, Nadia. So there we are.

Well, here we are.

Uh-- [clears throat]

It is what it is. [nervous chuckle]

Uh...

The scenic elements weren't necessarily necessary,

but they were-- they were there

and we're here now.

What does that mean?

It means I'm trying to avoid telling you

what I have to tell you, which is...

I can't pay any of you anymore.

Well, that's it, then.

No, no, Dad, wait, wait, wait.

Let me finish. Let me finish.

Sorry. Force of habit. [chuckles]

[Richard] So, at this point,

it's fair to say that this is, uh--

Well, it's a moment of truth.

It's a line in the sand sort of moment, I think.

Oh, this reminds me of Henry V.

The Battle of Agincourt.

It was a battle fought between

the French and the English in 1415.

The French have the English completely outnumbered,

at least five to one.

And Henry chooses this moment to address his troops.

He tells his cousin Westmoreland, who says,

"O that we had a man more from England."

He says, "No, no, no, no, no, no.

"Do not wish one man more.

"Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,

"that he that hath no stomach to this fight,

let him depart."

"We would not die in that man's company

"that fears his fellowship to die with us.

[swelling inspirational music]

"This day is called the Feast of Crispian.

"He that outlives this day and comes safe home...

"will stand at tiptoe when this day is named.

"Old men forget, but all shall be forgot,

"but he'll remember with advantages

"what feats he did that day!

"Then shall our names,

"familiar in his mouth as household words,

"be freshly remembered.

"This story shall the good man teach his son

"and Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by

"from this day to the ending of the world.

"But we in it shall be remembered.

"We few...

"We happy few,

"we band of brothers.

[inspirational soft music]

"For he today that sheds his blood with me

"shall be my brother.

"Be ne'er so vile this day shall gentle his condition.

"And gentlemen in England now abed,

"shall think themselves accursed they were not here.

"And hold their manhoods cheap!

"Whiles any speaks that fought with us

upon Saint Crispin's Day."

Ah, enough, you queen of drama!

[murmuring]

-[applause] -Wow!

I stand with you.

Best three weeks of my fucking life.

This play has made me almost give up drinking.

My wife is so proud of me.

I just wish I was brave enough

to try out the first time around.

-I'm in. -[Miranda] Me, too.

[Randall] Oh, I'm gonna miss that grub, though.

[Kenny] I can bring my breakfast casserole.

I'm in, but I'm not going up those stairs.

-[laughing] -Okay, Dad. Okay.

This is happening? You're all--

You're all okay with the fact that

there's nothing to fall back on but one another.

Oh, oh-- Oh, my pet.

I--I think I could do

something very interesting, darling.

-With what's left? -Absolutely.

And you know, there is actually one more thing

that this Mr. Ex Asshole Boyfriend Robber Guy

is not gonna steal from us.

He's not gonna take 200 red chairs.

Because, you know,

you think I'm so heartbroken I cannot steal...

a set of keys?

-[Clarence] All right! -Yeah!

Oh, what a-- Let's go get some chairs.

[rock and roll playing]

[Nadia] Okay...

Are these ready to go?

Here, let me take this.

Okay--ooh!

All right. Oh, my Lord.

[chattering]

-Hi! -Hi.

♪♪♪

[cheering]

Come see "Our Town."

Come see "Our Town" at MFT!

All through town! We're almost there!

[Nadia] Let's go, let's go!

[drill whirring]

[drill whirring, clatters]

Now, you see--That way.

-[whirring] -Got it.

♪♪♪

[Miranda] Got it. Now three, now two...

[chattering]

[Nadia] I would say, great job.

Looks good to me.

-[cheering] -Here you go! Help yourself.

-Yes! Thank you. -Here they are.

You stood by me through all of this, Hugo.

I never even gave you the chance to say no.

I wouldn't have said no.

I believe in what you're doing here.

[chattering]

-Truly amazing-- -[chattering stops]

Mom.

Kristen.

-You're here. -[chattering stops]

You still need a Mrs. Webb?

[Nadia] Whoo! Yes!

[chattering]

-[Tina] We totally need her. -Amazing!

[chattering continues]

I don't know why I should be crying...

Can I start over?

-[phone buzzing] -Of course.

[buzzing stops]

[sighs]

I don't know why on earth I should be crying.

I suppose there's nothing to cry...

-I can't--I can't do this. -Yes, you can.

Richard.

Just hold on.

Just ask everyone to take the rest of the day off.

Thank you all.

Guys, let's call it a day. Okay?

-Let's go. -Thank you.

Great work, to be continued.

[phone buzzing]

[buzzing stops]

Uh, where were we?

Take it from wherever you like.

Pick up from where you left off or whatever.

Hm.

I hope her girlfriends have told her a thing or two.

It's cruel, I know-- My God.

I'm trying.

I am really-- I am--I am really--

I'm really trying.

I know. Try less.

[sniffles]

It's cruel, I know, but I haven't been able...

to tell her anything.

I went into it... blind.

Blind as a--

Blind as a bat.

The whole world's wrong.

That's what's the matter.

[sniffles]

It's not too much?

Of course it's too much.

It was always too much.

That's what we loved about it.

-That's why we do it. -[laughing]

-[phone buzzing] -Yeah, I'm sorry.

This is my agent,

and he's going to just keep calling if I don't--

It's okay. Take it.

Okay. Alvy, why do you persist in calling me?

I am trying to rehearse.

Because I have some news

I thought you might want to hear, King Lear.

Alvy, Alvy, I'm not coming back to New York.

Fair enough. But what about London?

"King Lear" at the Barbican.

It's the dream, Richard.

All first class, huh?

Deluxe room at the Savoy.

This is it. This is it.

I worked my ass off on this,

and now you redeem yourself.

Uh, Alvy, I'm...

I'm staying in Millersburg.

Why the fuck would you do that?

Maybe, uh...

because I'm needed here.

Oh, I'm sure you're not.

Well, I'm doing something that matters.

-To whom? -Ooh...

To me, to the town, to my family.

The world at large, okay?

I'm just--just--

Just thank the producers very much

and tell them no.

No, wait, wait a second!

-No, no-- -[closes phone]

[soft music]

So, where were we?

-[Kristen] Hello? -In here.

[door closes]

What you doing?

Oh, I'm just doing the program notes.

Do you want to help?

I just came by to say that it's totally fine

if you don't want me to play Mrs. Webb.

-Um... -Look...

I'm letting you off the hook here.

I mean, I obviously-- I'm not at the top of my game.

Not that I even had a game, but I'm not--

I just--I'm very in my head about things.

And I just--I started--

I started having all kinds of feelings.

Just--yuck.

So I'm--

Just want to say thank you for being so kind about it all.

It's nerves. That's all it is, Kristen.

It's just nerves. You're gonna be a wonderful Mrs. Webb.

I know things haven't been great between us.

But we're getting better, aren't we?

Can I ask you a favor?

Of course. Anything.

I don't know what your plans are

after the show closes, but I was wondering...

if you could leave.

-Leave? -Millersburg.

Not that we don't love having you here, but--

It's complicated, right?

I mean, you and I, we were--

I mean, not that you were even thinking about staying.

I mean, why would you-- [chuckles]

I don't know why you would stay here.

No, I--I understand.

You're abandoning me.

-What? -You're abandoning me.

That's what you did in New York when we were together.

And now we're not even together, and you're abandoning me.

-You left me. -No--

Kristen, we were living together in New York.

You left and came back here.

I stayed in New York.

That's you leaving me.

You were never there.

You were just getting cast in everything.

I lost you to your success.

I mean, you were drunk with it, Richard.

God, all that time I was thinking you'd just...

lost interest in me, which--

I couldn't understand that at all.

I didn't lose interest in you.

I lost interest in myself

sitting around New York waiting for you.

I was alone. And there was no place for me

in the theater there or--or with you.

So, yes, I packed up. I came home.

We abandoned each other.

I guess we did.

Anyway, I should go.

Sure, yeah.

You weren't actually going to stay in Millersburg

after the show, were you?

No. I--I have a life.

Okay. Well, now I feel dumb.

But anyway, thank you for today.

And... I'll try not to cry so much tomorrow.

Okay.

[melancholic music]

[door closes]

[soft melancholic music]

[phone beeping and dialing]

[recording] Alvy Stritch, leave your message.

[tone beeps]

Yeah, Alvy, it's Richard.

The Lear in London?

Have you spoken to them yet?

If you haven't, turns out I'm completely available.

Why aren't you in bed?

I don't know.

I just can't sleep, Papa.

The moonlight is so wonderful

and the smell of Mrs. Gibbs' heliotrope.

Can you smell it?

-Jon? -What?

Oh, that's me. I'm sorry.

Okay. No, I'm just--

I'm just very happy to be here. Okay. Sorry.

[clears throat]

And the smell of Mrs. Gibbs' heliotrope.

Can you smell it?

Yes.

Haven't any troubles on your mind, have you, Emily?

Troubles, Papa?

[laughing]

Sorry. It's just so cool doing this with my dad.

[clears throat]

-All right. We can do this. -[Miranda] Yep.

Okay. Focus. We can do this.

-Focus. -Yeah, mm-hm.

[clears throat]

Troubles, Papa, now?

Well, enjoy yourself.

Just don't let your mother catch you.

Good night, Emily-- [laughing]

You guys, we open in two days.

I'm sorry. I won't be laughing on the day.

Oh, that's encouraging.

[Jon] I'm just so happy. Okay--

-[Miranda] Ready? -[clears throat]

Well, enjoy yourself, but don't let your mother--

[laughing]

[soft music]

[doorbell dings]

[murmuring]

[doorbell dings]

-Oh, Boyle. -Bean.

-Am I bothering you? -Why, yes.

Well, I-- I was just wondering

if you might be able to give these to Nadia.

It's her--it's her special skin lotions.

Well, she's staying at the Embassy Suites.

You can give them to her yourself.

She won't see me.

She's not talking to me and...

I--I love that girl, you know?

And, well, I-- I just knew you'd understand.

So, it's-- it's the snow mushroom dew

and something--stem cells?

And, oh, yeah, and the mist

of the Hungarian Queen or some shite.

But, you know, it's a few grands worth

of her favorite lotions and oils.

-So if you could just-- -Yeah.

You know, she turns out to be quite a good actress.

You should come see her.

Wait, are you still going on with the show?

Oh, yeah.

None of your bells and none of your whistles?

I thought I took that away.

Oh, you did,

but we still have the play and the actors

and something way down deep

that's eternal in every human being.

[sighs]

Fuck me. I think I need a drink.

-Come here. -Oh--

-There, there. -[sniffles]

-Thank you. -Sure.

-Cheers. -Sure.

[mischievous music]

[contents clinking]

Hm.

Whoa.

I cannot believe Boyle's been paying

for Richard's production this entire time.

I mean, I'm not proud of this,

but at one point, at one very low point...

I actually thought about dipping

into Miranda's college fund to pay him off.

[sighs]

Well, you know, I--

I understand what you're saying about Boyle.

-You do? -I do.

[exhales sharply]

In fact...

-You okay? -Yeah, no, I--

[Miranda] Hey.

Am I interrupting a romantic moment?

No, no, no. Come. Come here.

No, not at all.

Hey, mwah!

Are you guys excited we open so soon?

-[laughing] Oh, my God. -I'm very nervous.

Just slightly terrified.

[laughing]

So, I actually wanted to talk to you guys

because, um, I was looking into Penn's theater program

and, well, it's kind of cool.

It's all extracurricular, so--

Co--college.

Yeah, you can kind of design it yourself.

Yeah?

I'm not saying I want to go there, but...

-Mm-hm. -Not ruling it out.

Good. Good for you. Good. Isn't that great?

What? Oh, yes.

No, yes, college-- college is great.

Of course it's great. It's--

-Can I get you something? -No, I'm good.

Yeah? You--you want-- I can get you some.

-No, no, I'm good. -I'm gonna get a little--

I'm just gonna get a little--

Be right-- Be right back.

[mischievous music]

[chuckles]

[Nadia] Hi, guys.

Big day.

[chattering]

Where's Dad?

Oh, he's prepping the opening-night party.

-Okay. -Yeah.

[Hugo] All right, everyone. Let's begin.

Uh, hello. It's our opening night.

[applause]

It's my 110th opening night.

Oh, wow! Wow.

So I thought we'd do one last Circle of Truth

and then speed through.

And then take the rest of the afternoon

for ourselves to prepare.

But not over-prepare.

Kristen, you want to start?

-What? -Oh.

Oh, no.

All good. All good. Thank you.

-I'll go. -[Richard] Oh.

Uh, I never thought

I'd have such a good time with my parents.

[all] Aw.

Even though I'm hating him still right now,

I do wish that Connor could see me up on the stage

and see this beautiful thing that we make it together.

You all know me. I--

I get nervous.

But I know you all got my back.

[Nadia] Yes. Absolutely.

You know what?

I don't miss the rain.

I don't miss the horse.

-You don't? -I'm allergic.

I just wanna say thank you, Richard Bean,

for believing in us.

Yeah!

Thank you for believing in you.

And what about you, Mr. Bean?

-What about me? -Well, you haven't shared.

You're right.

I guess, well, I think I--

Yeah, I should do that. I will share...

a truth.

The fact is, uh--

I've come to realize...

recently, that, uh...

I'm lonely.

Uh...

I know it's boring to hear a famous person complain, but--

[clears throat] Yeah, I've been...

lonely and, um, isolated and...

Well, and it's my own doing.

I pushed a lot of... a lot of people away,

a lot of friends and... and family even.

And, um...

I think I traded family...

for fame.

Uh...

But being with you all for the last few weeks,

I've come to realize

that family is important to me.

Not only my theater family,

which we all have become, but my real family.

My dad and Jon, Kristen.

I look at you, Miranda, and I think...

How happy I would've been to be a father

to a beautiful young woman like you.

I think that would have been a profound experience,

being your father.

Yes.

To come home and hear you say, "Daddy..."

-[Nadia] Oh, Daddy. -[laughing]

[Richard] "What'd you bring me?"

-[Kristen] Hey, Richard... -"You're home."

That sort of thing.

-Richard. -What?

Stop. It's just--

-I didn't say-- -Well, no, it's just a lot.

-And I think--I think. -I'm not saying I'm her father.

No, I know, but I think you're making Miranda uncomfortable.

No, he isn't.

I'm not saying she--I'm her father, I'm saying I--

Hey, Richard. Richard, stop. Stop.

Mom.

[nervous laughter]

Why are you laughing like that?

Opening-night jitters.

[Tina] Families are complex.

I found out that my dad wasn't my dad when I was 40.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Yeah, he was our next-door neighbor.

The guy who owned that fumigation company.

-Ed Hicks. -[Kenny] Ed?

-Yes. -I see that now.

Yeah, it's the nose.

That guy asked out my mom once. Could he be my dad?

[Marney] You know, many people's fathers

aren't who they think they are.

-It's just a fact. -Mm-hm.

[Kristen exhaling profusely]

-You okay? -Yep, yep.

[Marney] Do you want some water?

No, no, no. Just--you know,

I'm just--I'm so happy to be back on stage.

I didn't realize how much I had--I had--

[chuckles] I had missed it.

And, you know--and--

I think we are one big...

one big happy family.

So there. I've shared.

So, anybody else want to go?

Oh, I get it.

-Get what? -No, he doesn't get anything.

He doesn't get it.

What are you talking about?

Holy cow.

Are you saying what I think you're saying?

No. No. No, he isn't.

-[Kenny] So... -[Kristen] Mm-mm, mm-mm.

-You and Richard-- -[Kristen] Okay, Kenny!

Kenny. Kenny, stop.

You and Richard what?

[Tina] Oh...

-What did we do? -Oh, my God!

You what? Wait. So--

Everybody stop.

[nervous chuckle]

[nervous chuckle]

[gasps]

-Miranda. -Miranda?

-Miranda! -Oh, no.

[Randall] Miranda!

Mirand-- Miranda!

-Miranda! -[door opens]

-Miranda! -[door closes]

-Where is she? -I don't know. Gone.

[grunting] I can't believe you.

Would you mind telling me what is going on?

God, you don't see?

There's a very good chance you are Miranda's father.

-How? -I think you know how.

Well, I understand the biology, of course, but--

Think back with me, will you?

It was the last time I came to see you in a show in New York.

-When was that? -Oh, I don't know.

Maybe it was nine months before Miranda was born.

I was in a fight with Jon, and...

you were--you were playing Arthur in "Camelot."

Oh, "Camelot"! Yes, that was a big hit.

Wh--And you--

Wait a minute.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, oh. Oh, dear.

[mischievous music]

[mischievous music]

Okay.

Oh, fuck!

[mischievous music]

[mischievous music]