Original subtitles

hi Grandpa

today I want to do something really special

for both my grandpas

I thought a family fun day would be perfect

I love them but they are constantly

fighting for my love and attention

not that I'm mad about that

I kinda like all the attention I get from them

but lately I've noticed them looking at me differently

I can't blame them I know they're both pretty lonely

since neither of my grandmas are around anymore

today I want them both to know I love them equally

and I'll do whatever it takes for them to realize that

hey sweet pea

looking hard at all the workers

hey Grandpa

you know me always planning something

do you need anything

I was just passing through

and I figured

to see how my favorite granddaughter's doing

you're funny can I help

well I was thinking of planning a little family fun day

you know you

me Grandpa Dick

maybe some friends ah quite quite the pair of you

do you need any help and have you ruined the surprise

I don't think so

hey

ah dick

what are you two scheming over here

I'm thinking of making a little family fun day

party for us oh

okay well

if you need any ideas I got some great ones

you know cause I mean

I am the fun grandpa you know

unlike Grandpa Jack over there I mean

you know it's getting a little up there

well if you think you can help

do you want to look over the guest list with me

you know I was thinking maybe we just keep

I'm small you know uh uh

friends and family only people are personal

are you kidding me what

come on it's a party right

go big okay

you gotta go big alright

make it a night to remember

all right well

both of these are good ideas

I'll consider them both but for now

I need some quiet to finish planning

I'll tell you what why don't we go get some coffee

my treat let's go get a break

coffee really

come on let's get you a snack okay

let's get you a snack I'm gonna go get you something

okay okay

why don't I get my own coffee

and you guys just sit tight and I'll see you later

well my granddaughter's

turning out to be quite the young woman

isn't she

you noticed huh

hi I'm wondering if uh

your uh

son has told her that she's adopted

not that I know of is your daughter

if your forgetful son has not told her by now

that she's adopted I'm sure that my daughter has

regardless why you asking

come on Jack

come on I see the way you look at her

don't tell me

you never thought about having our legs wrapped

around your face like a fucking CPAP machine what

no no

well I mean

I have I have thought about faking a

stroke

just to see if she'll hold my dick while I take a piss

yeah exactly see

I mean not like you know years ago

but I mean now it's a little different you know

she's all grown up now so uh huh

I'm sensing a little uh

a little competition here well look

it's not that I'm gonna outdo you

it's just like I'm just gonna outclass you okay

so uh

yeah this sounds a little bit of competition

that's what I'm putting out there alright

so what first one to get her to go to first base

buffet Sunday at the church okay

early bird special yeah

wear your Sunday best we'll see you there alright

what's the deal want you go see what she's doing

the easiest free block that I've ever made

oh hey

got some more stuff for you

oh thank you yeah

can I give you a hand with anything

sure will you help me with these pillows

oh sure thing darling okay

that one goes back there sweetheart way back there

oh I think it's right there

it's good yeah

well come here relax you sick grab a seat grab a seat

oh you're working so hard oh

I think we're gonna have fun though yeah

I know I'm exhausted here you look tired

you wanna come here

let me give you let me rub those feet of yours

oh oh yeah

oh that feels nice

thank you yeah

you like that I like Grandpa

help you out here you're so good to me

you work so hard darling ah

that feels so nice I think it's gonna be a good party

yeah I think it's straightened up to look pretty decent

so far yeah

yeah I think we're gonna have a good time

how's that feel it feels really nice

it feels nice yeah

oh what's going on here

oh hi

Grandpa Dick Dick

well what do you think of

elegant sophisticated

we're ready for a party aren't we

yeah horseshit

we just let our girl do her thing okay

you old fucking vulture

you don't know what the hell you're talking about

oh that's so nice

you know

you haven't been the same since your stroke last summer

you know

I'm surprised you remember I had a stroke last summer

was that another dementia joke

oh my God yeah

well you know what

I'll tell you how's your knees doing

are you able to walk up

all the way up to the top of the stairs

in the big boy plane fine

I'm going my operation okay

enough enough

you guys are insane together sometimes

oh yeah

come on why don't you just both ah

help me we can we can work together

oh God that's so good

oh you know what

Monica anything you say whatever you want

thank you anything

thank you shortcake

oh that's so good OK

I'm gonna go grab the lemonade and the

yeah OK

yeah yeah

you guys just work together help me out here

what the hell was that what

are you just gonna come barging in

every time I'm trying to get somewhere

uh yeah

well I mean

if that's the way it's gonna be

I mean that's

that's that is the way it's gonna be

that's cheating that's not cheating

how do you think good sportsmanship

that's not good sportsmanship in the least well

you know what my name is Dick okay

so get used to it damn it

oh yeah Grandpa lady

yeah

hmm

if you wanna ask me what I want for pop pop's day

that's what I want

show just a little bit give you a little tea

oh my God

oh hi Grandpa

oh hey

hey hey hey

sorry I'm running late but I'll be out in a second

do you wanna come in absolutely

you good yeah

okay hey

look um

why don't we sit down okay

so I just wanted to kind of bring something up

that's been on my mind yeah

so um

you notice that like you know

your grandpa

Jack's been kind of being a little different lately

I mean have you noticed that

I mean it's like

it seems like he's kind of hovering around you

kind of getting a little weird

I mean

when was it like I mean

when when you were little

I mean you know

we bounced you on our knees and everything

but I mean come on

he's like giving you a foot rub now

I guess I have kind of noticed that

he's been looking at me a little bit differently

and like when I walk by

he kind of does this like cross hunched thing

I don't like

I don't know if he has like a stomachache going on

well I mean

I mean honestly

it's like you and I like

we have a little bit of a different

different relationship I mean

ever since the car accident

yeah I mean

your dentures fell in my mouth and I was going to see

well I mean

you saved my life you gave me CPR

you gave me mouth to mouth

so I mean

it was kind of weird that like

you know I woke up

come back from the light

and there's your lips on my mouth

it was a little it was pretty intimate

it was it was a little weird

yeah by the way

you should probably clean your dentures

a little bit more they're kind of stinky

I sometimes forget to take them out at night

I'm sorry you weren't expecting to die

but I mean

you know it's

yeah we have like a little

I just wanted to make sure that like

you know Grandpa Jack isn't getting a little too

making you feel a little un

you know uncomfortable

it's getting a little Freudian

yeah so hey

what the hell is going on in here

what yeah

I just see what you're doing

you're trying to turn me against

what are you talking about

I heard you just

Claire's day was walking down the hallway

what are you what are you talking about

oh come on

come on Jack

what are you talk get the hell out of here

what are you doing you accusing me all kinds of things

I'm not accusing you of nothing that you're not doing

you're trying to fill on

his head up with all kinds of crazy ideas

like I'm trying to be inappropriate

oh come on

well I mean

here you are being inappropriate

well

you're over here putting my fingers through her hair

what the hell

what do I have to do to get you guys to get along huh

come on you're like animals

Alana

I suppose there's something we ought to tell you

okay what

sure yeah I mean

what

well okay

Dick and I kind of had a little friendly wager

a little little bet

oh you both have gambling addictions

we don't need to be doing this

what was it about no

no no

no it has nothing to do with the 401k that I lost

OK it has nothing to do with that

you gambled away yeah whatever

OK what was it about

damn Native Americans but anyway

what was it about well

well kind of

you know what why

why don't you why don't you sit down

I don't wanna sit down I

wanna know what the hell

you guys made a bet about shortcake sit fine

all right spit it out

dick and I had a little wager a little friendly bet

we must each other you know

we it's been quite a while since we've been in

the company of a woman and I've been a little lonely

and so we made a bet that a couple of years for me

but yeah

we were fighting for your attention essentially

seeing which one of us could

I don't know how to put this on here

oh my God you guys had a bet on fucking me no

no no no

no no no

no no

we just made a bet that we would you know first base

I think make it just a first base

I mean you can't just oh

get to this age honey and you know it's been so long

you know like

like your grandmother's been gone for like

I've been so alone for such a long time

and it's just stupid bunch of couple of old perverts

you know that's harmless sweetheart sorry

oh you pieces of shit oh

I am OK no OK

you know what fine

what we have 45 minutes until the guests come

and I really need to fucking come what

so

I'm gonna give you guys a little grandpa's day present

you guys are gonna make me come

we're gonna fuck okay

oh dick

not again come on Dick

come on I'll roll him over

oh oh God

come on Jesus Christ

come on Dick no no

okay come on depression

oh dick

come on come here breathe

oh God

come on come on dick

oh my God he's kind of hard

he's faking it you're faking it

he's faking it you're faking it

no I won the bet

oh damn it

oh well

so hi sweetheart but I gotta say

I got better dentures now

oh God

I suppose this isn't cheating either

wow I mean

I am a widower haha

come on I need to come now

well you know what

I've already had those lips

I want those lips mm hmm

why don't you

let me guess your weight baby yeah

oh yeah

come here Grandpa Jack

oh

that's it sweet pea

oh that's it honey

oh yeah

oh my God

oh

my God

oh

oh

fuck yeah

is this better than Grandma's gummy blowjobs

that's me

oh fuck

that was so good yeah

oh yeah

fuck ah ah

ah ah ah fuck you

ah fuck

oh my God

I need a cock in me now

right fucking now

oh wait

hmm

yeah

oh oh fuck

oh Jesus

oh yeah

oh fuck

oh my God

oh my God

that's so short that's

oh yes yes yes

yes yes

fuck that's so fucking good

oh

my God

oh my

God

mwah

mwah mwah

mwah mwah

mwah

mwah

oh my God

oh you fucking perverts

no one's gonna have a heart attack right

no no

no no

just making sure I'm in the will

we got the golf cart oh yeah

no don't worry

that's okay you're in the will

oh

smack yeah

there you go do it again

do it again do it again

do it again yeah

that's it that's it

that's it how bad you wanna be in the will huh

how bad you want me to be in my will

I want that stupid fucking golf cart

yeah you do

yeah

you want my house and the keys too huh

yeah I do yeah

turn around here let me get some of that pussy on my

I might actually get you

uh huh

I forget how experienced you guys are

oh fuck yes

oh my God right there

oh don't fucking stop

don't fucking stop that's so fucking

tell me when I'm wrong oh yeah

you tell me when I'm wrong

oh fuck you tell me when

right now right now

yeah say Grandpa

I'm coming

Grandpa I'm fucking coming

oh no

oh no

oh no

oh no

oh no

oh no

oh no

oh no

oh no

oh no

oh my God

oh fuck you

oh

what's up here you go

yeah oh

it looks bigger

yeah doesn't it yes

wow you can't see for shit

oh yeah

oh my god yes

do my tights remind you of those hookers from the 70s

kind of what I was going for reminds me of war

I don't know who you went to the war with

protecting your fucking Gen Z fucking ass

oh my God yes yes

yes

fucking found it hahaha

switch

oh

come here

hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm

oh your balls are huge when

when was the last time you went to your doctor

oh

yeah

you should really get this chopped oh

oh my God

are you gonna come with Grandpa Jack

are you just gonna come with Grandpa Jack huh

it's competition right

yeah you make me come yeah yeah

yes yes yes

yes yes yes

yes yes

yes yes yes

fuck

yeah yeah come on

yeah

yeah squat

come on come on

come on come

on come on

come on

come on come on

come on come on

come on come on come on

ah ah

stop

do you like this

oh my God

wait wait wait

no no no

no no no

oh yeah

oh my God

ah ah ah

fuck yes yes yes yes

yes yes

ah

ah ah fuck

ah oh

ah

ah ah

ah ah ah ah ah ah

ah fuck

yeah

oh fuck you oh

fuck you oh shit

oh fuck oh fuck

oh

get it

get it for yourself cause I want it for a minute myself

hmm hmm hmm

hmm

hmm fuck ah ah

ah ah

fuck you ah ah

oh fuck

oh

fuck

useful use

use use

use yeah oh my God

ah ah

fuck ah ah ah

ah

come here I want both of your dicks yeah mmm hmm

oh fuck

whatever you do do not tell my daughter

but you can tell his you can tell my son of God

switch

no I want you both right now

right now

oh that's good

oh my God oh my God

oh

my God

oh my God hmm hmm

hmm hmm

hmm hmm hmm

hmm hmm hmm

yeah

ah

yeah

beat that thing like it owes you money honey

smack it

hmm

yeah I got that yeah

yeah hmm

yeah hmm yeah hmm hmm

back and forth yeah hmm

we're gonna call everybody and fucking

just fucking cancel this fucking party yeah

fuck this fucking party

yeah

back that ass up yeah

back that ass up right to me

right to me right to me

there we go oh yeah

oh yeah

oh yeah

oh yeah

yeah oh yeah

oh my God

fuck you

fuck you

oh fuck you

you you you

fuck

oh oh

don't you fucking tighten up on me yeah

oh my God you little fucking slut yeah oh

I knew you were a fucking bitch yeah

oh

all those years I fucking knew

huh huh

Grandpa Jack huh

you knew all those years

she was gonna be this fucking good

oh yeah

oh fuck

you

oh my God

oh

fuck yeah

yeah so Grandpa

how much you like Grandpa TikTok

tell him I look like fucking

Grandpa Dick's look I told you

I told you I had a shine I don't play favorite

ah fuck you

hmm

alright my turn now

come here sweetheart hmm

this way you know what let me

you should back it up boy

there we go

that's it

there we go

oh your hips hurt

you get your hip replacement next month

so fucking cool

you know it's like clocking

oh it's so cute

I got shit hips and shit knees over here

nobody's going on a hike with me

be careful I'll take my teeth out and put them outside

ah ah

yes fuck yes yes

yes yes

yes yes

oh my God yes

fuck don't stop

don't stop I'm gonna come

that's it that's it

make a fucking come

come on Jack fucking do it

you tell him fuck yes you tell him fuck

oh my God oh my God man yeah

fuck

yes yes yes yes yes

yes yes

yes yes

oh my God he just fucking found me

oh my God you can just pick yourself up with your pussy

oh fuck that's so fucking good

wow wow

wow wow wow

yeah

yeah you wanna see my ass too

no I just wanna see the part of your ass

I want you to come on

there we go

one leg on the one leg on the

no one leg on the

there you go Melanie

what are you teaching me oh

I'm teaching you something good oh

you fucking old Grandpa Jack

just sit down just sit down bro

sit down there we go

you guys do this in the war too

yeah but there weren't very many girls around

fuck you that's it

just use me you old fucking pervert

I wanna keep those

the last time you got a girl's panties

30 years they didn't look like that hahaha

93

no that was in the twenties

back in the 1900s

long before

someone eat my pussy I wanna come again

right here right here

you're being fucking perverts

this is a long time

here we go aren't you

aren't you gonna help yourself

no no

you know what you know what

give me hold on my hold my neck

here we go

yeah

yeah

OK

oh

fuck

oh

did you take out your dentures for that

fuck I'm gonna come

what

oh my God

ah ah

ah ah ah

ah yes

yes yes

ah

mm

hmm

hmm

ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha

oh fuck yes yes

yes yes fuck

oh

yeah

oh

yeah

HM HM HM HM HM

HM HM HM HM HM HM HM HM

oh my God I wanna come

I think I'm gonna squirt bye

yes

bye

I won I won

how do I do it

oh

oh oh

oh oh

get on the ground

oh that's it

that's it that's it yeah

get it faster faster

faster faster

faster faster there you go yes

come on short kick as fast as you can go

come on here you go oh

fuck yes yeah come on

keep going keep going keep going

oh yeah that's it

oh

fuck

oh that's it

keep going keep going just like that

oh yeah oh

loosen up loosen up

loosen up oh

oh

oh

oh

watch my hands baby

oh yeah oh

fuck yeah

oh grandma

oh fuck yeah

oh

yeah

oh fuck yeah

oh yeah

oh oh

yeah

oh fuck yeah

oh fuck yeah

oh yeah oh yeah

oh fuck

oh yeah

oh

fuck

oh that's it grandpa

oh my God oh my baby

oh my God

oh my God

yeah

oh yeah

that's it

oh

oh

oh oh

oh thanks

oh oh oh

I'll be honest

I totally thought your guys'dicks were just gonna

cough up dust but

that was really good family fun time

I love bonding with you

oh sweetheart

can you give me the heating pad honey

oh

now you guys think you could finally fucking get along

now as long as you get me the heating pad yeah

I think it's hit the wall again

but you know hey pumpkin huh

best Grandad's day ever yeah

yeah best

best Grandad's day ever thank you sweetheart

here it's your trophy

hmm you fucking perverts hahaha

hi grandpa