Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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[ Man ] STOREFRONT HITCHCOCK--

[ Voices Overlapping ]

[ Man ] THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD-- IT'S SITTING ON THE COUCH.

IT'S GOT SPIKEY HAIR. IT'S DEFIANT.

IT'S FILLING ITSELF WITH GARBAGE.

IT'S GOT GARBAGE IN LITTLE POTS, AND IT'S EATING IT.

AS IT EXPANDS, IT BEGINS TO EAT ITSELF AS WELL.

IT FEEDS ON ITSELF. IT FEEDS ON ITS OWN EXCREMENT.

IT'S DELIGHTED. IT'S VERY, VERY HAPPY.

THE MORE IT COMES OUT, THE MORE IT RUBS INTO ITS HAIR.

IT'S REALLY PLEASED.

IT DOESN'T SAY HELLO WHEN ITS PARENTS WALK INTO THE ROOM.

IT'S THAT DEFIANT. [ People Laughing ]

IT RAIDS THE FRIDGE COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFULLY.

IT MAY TAKE, YOU KNOW, TWO OR THREE PICKLES OUT OF THE JAR AT A TIME.

IT STARES OUT OF THE WINDOW. IT DOESN'T WEAR ITS GLASSES IN BAD LIGHT.

IT SMOKES CIGARETTES.

SOMETIMES IT BLUNDERS INTO A MANHOLE...

AND SPENDS DAYS WALKING THROUGH THE SEWERS.

BUT ITS NOT REPENTANT. WHEN IT FINALLY COMES HOME,

THERE'S NO, "HELLO, MOM. HELLO, DAD. WHERE HAVE I BEEN?"

IT'S JUST, "I STINK, AND YOU'RE PLEASED TO SEE ME."

[ Laughter Continues ]

IT'S THE GREAT CIVILIZING FORCE OF THE 20th CENTURY.

IT'S ROCK 'N' ROLL. ♪♪ [ Rock ]

[ Helicopter Blades Whirring ]

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Car Horns Honking ]

♪♪ [ Stops ] [ People Applauding, Cheering ]

♪♪ [ Harmonica ]

[ Applauding, Cheering Fades, Stops ]

HI. IS MY HAIR ALL RIGHT? [ Man ] BEAUTIFUL.

OKAY, LET'S GO. ♪♪ [ Harmonica, Guitar ]

♪♪ DARLING ♪♪

♪♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL ME STALIN ♪♪

♪♪ OR EVEN MAO TSE-TUNG ♪♪

♪♪ 'CAUSE I'M FAR TOO YOUNG ♪♪

♪♪ MY RISING ♪♪

♪♪ SIGN IS CAPRICORN IS THAT SURPRISING ♪♪

♪♪ YOU KNOW THAT I WAS BORN SO VERY SOFT ♪♪

♪♪ AND EASYGOING ♪♪

♪♪ I MAKE NO TROUBLE AT ALL ♪♪

♪♪ I WAS LISTENING ♪♪

♪♪ YEAH, I WAS LISTENING ♪♪

♪♪ TO THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ I WAS LISTENING ♪♪

♪♪ YEAH, I WAS LISTENING ♪♪

♪♪ TO THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ AND IT WENT NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA ♪♪

♪♪ ON THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ [ Whistling ]

♪♪ EVIL ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S TENTACLES ARE BLIND IT'S LIKE A WEEVIL ♪♪

♪♪ IT BURROWS THROUGH THE LAND ♪♪

♪♪ AND EVERYBODY SMILES ♪♪

♪♪ EVERYBODY SMILES ♪♪

♪♪ MICHAEL ♪♪

♪♪ DON'T YOU KNOW SOMEDAY A SPIKE'LL ♪♪

♪♪ GROW RIGHT THROUGH THE WOODWORK ♪♪

♪♪ AND COME OUT THROUGH YOUR PALM ♪♪

♪♪ WE WAS LISTENIN' ♪♪

♪♪ AH, WE WAS LISTENIN' ♪♪

♪♪ TO THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ WE WAS LISTENIN' ♪♪

♪♪ YEAH, WE WAS LISTENIN' ♪♪

♪♪ TO THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ AND IT WENT NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA ♪♪

♪♪ ON THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ [ Whistling ]

♪♪ SUN SETS ON THE DEVIL ♪♪

♪♪ SUN SETS ON THE WEST ♪♪

♪♪ HE'S LISTENING TO THE FM TALK SHOW ♪♪

♪♪ THAT'S WHAT HE LOVES THE BEST ♪♪

♪♪ LIMBAUGH ♪♪

♪♪ OR THAT HATEFUL SMILE ♪♪

♪♪ KATE SAID ♪♪

♪♪ THE FLOWERS OF INTOLERANCE AND HATRED ♪♪

♪♪ ARE BLOOMING KIND OF EARLY THIS YEAR ♪♪

♪♪ SOMEONE'S BEEN WATERING THEM ♪♪

♪♪ WE WAS LISTENIN' ♪♪

♪♪ AH, WE WAS LISTENIN' ♪♪

♪♪ TO THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ WE WAS LISTENIN' ♪♪

♪♪ YEAH, WE WAS LISTENIN' ♪♪

♪♪ TO THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ AND IT WENT NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA ♪♪

♪♪ I'M NOT THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

♪♪ AND I SAID NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA ♪♪

♪♪ YOU'RE THE DEVIL'S RADIO ♪♪

[ Applause, Whistling ]

THANKS. [ Applause Continues ]

THANK YOU. THIS IS ABOUT THE TIME THAT EVERYTHING STOPPED.

YOU KNOW,

I THINK AT -283 DEGREES CENTIGRADE...

ALL MOLECULAR MOTION CEASES.

AND YOU GET THE SAME KIND OF THING WITH YEARS.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE SAY THE MARCH OF TIME IS INEXORABLE.

BUT IT DEFINITELY SPEEDS UP AND SLOWS DOWN.

AND THIS IS THE POINT WHERE EVERYTHING JUST... DIED.

ACTUALLY, IT OCCURS TO ME, THAT'S NOT TRUE IN THE GAY COMMUNITY.

IT PROBABLY WAS QUITE AN EXCITING TIME.

BUT IN THE SORT OF HETERO-HIPPIE COMMUNITY THAT SPAWNED ME,

IT WAS STRICTLY DEADSVILLE.

SO I'M HERE TO SING ABOUT IT.

♪♪

♪♪ YOU HAVE TWO COFFEES ♪♪

♪♪ ONE OF THEM IS ONE COFFEE TOO MANY FOR YOU ♪♪

♪♪ ON A HEALTH KICK ♪♪

♪♪ YEAH, TRYING TO LEAD A MIDDLE-AGED LIFE ♪♪

♪♪ WELL, IT'S ♪♪

♪♪ EITHER THAT OR DROP DEAD ♪♪

♪♪ WAIT TILL YOU GET OLDER THAN THIS ♪♪

♪♪ AND THEN TURN AROUND AND TELL ME ♪♪

♪♪ I WAS YOUNG FOR MY AGE ♪♪

♪♪ YEAH ♪♪

♪♪ AND IT FEELS LIKE 1974 ♪♪

♪♪ WAITING FOR THE WAVES TO COME AND CRASH ON THE SHORE ♪♪

♪♪ BUT YOU'RE FAR INLAND ♪♪

♪♪ MMM ♪♪

♪♪ YOU'RE IN FUNKY DENIM WONDERLAND ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND DAVID CROSBY AND A BLOKE WITH NO HAND ♪♪

♪♪ YOU'VE GOT HAIR IN PLACES ♪♪

♪♪ MOST PEOPLE HAVEN'T GOT BRAINS ♪♪

♪♪ OOH BUT IT FEELS LIKE 1974 ♪♪

♪♪ SYD BARRETT'S LAST SESSION HE CAN'T SING ANYMORE ♪♪

♪♪ HE'S GONNA HAVE TO BE ROGER NOW ♪♪

♪♪ FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE ♪♪

♪♪ OH ♪♪

♪♪ ENOUGH ABOUT ME ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WERE WORKING AT THE EARTH EXCHANGE ♪♪

♪♪ AND HALF 22 ♪♪

♪♪ "REBEL, REBEL" WAS YOUR FAVORITE SONG ♪♪

♪♪ ON THE ARCHWAY ROAD ♪♪

♪♪ WHERE IT ALL BELONGED ♪♪

♪♪ ALL THOSE MOLECULES OF TIME ♪♪

♪♪ THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SHED FOREVER ♪♪

♪♪ ALL THOSE INCHES OF TIME ♪♪

♪♪ THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD JUST SAY BYE-BYE ♪♪

♪♪ AND AS NIXON LEFT THE WHITE HOUSE YOU COULD HEAR PEOPLE SAY ♪♪

♪♪ THEY'LL NEVER REHABILITATE THAT MOTHER NO WAY ♪♪

♪♪ YEP ♪♪

♪♪ WHIRRY-WHIRRY GOES THE HELICOPTER OUT OF MY WAY ♪♪

♪♪ I GOT A PRESIDENT TO DUMP IN THE VOID ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ PYTHON'S LAST SERIES AND THE GUARDIAN SAID ♪♪

♪♪ THE STENCH OF ROTTING MINDS ♪♪

♪♪ BUT WHAT ELSE COULD YOU SMELL BACK THEN ♪♪

♪♪ YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO INHALE TOO HARD ♪♪

♪♪ YOU COULD SMELL THE HEADS FESTERING IN THE BACK YARD ♪♪

♪♪ THERE'S A BABY IN A BASKET ♪♪

♪♪ AND IT'S TAKEN YOUR NAME ♪♪

♪♪ AND ONE DAY IT'LL GROW UP AND SAY ♪♪

♪♪ WHO ARE YOU ♪♪

♪♪ EH ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOU SAY THAT'S WHERE IT ENDED ♪♪

♪♪ BUT I SAID NO, NO, NO ♪♪

♪♪ IT JUST FADED AWAY ♪♪

♪♪ AUGUST WAS GRAY ♪♪

♪♪ OH, IT FEELS LIKE 1974 ♪♪

♪♪ GHASTLY MELLOW SAXOPHONES ALL OVER THE FLOOR ♪♪

♪♪ IT FEELS LIKE 1974 ♪♪

♪♪ YOU COULD VOTE FOR LABOUR BUT YOU CAN'T ANYMORE ♪♪

♪♪ IT FEELS LIKE 1974 ♪♪

♪♪ DIGGING LED ZEPPELIN IN GRIMSBY ♪♪

♪♪ OH, CHRIST ♪♪

[ Applause, Cheering ]

[ Mutters ]

ALL RIGHT. I'M GOING TO REMOVE THE SECOND CONE.

THIS IS DENI BONET, THE HUMAN PUMPKIN GIRL.

[ Applause ]

♪♪ [ Checks Tuning ]

[ Muttering ]

IF YOU STAND UP PROPERLY, IT'S POSSIBLE TO MAKE YOURSELF--

THERE'S THESE TECHNIQUES CALLED ALEXANDER TECHNIQUE...

FOR ACTORS AND PEOPLE WHO HAVE INCREDIBLY BAD POSTURE...

BUT ENOUGH MONEY TO TRY AND GET OVER IT.

YOU CAN ACTUALLY MAKE YOURSELF GROW TWO OR THREE INCHES BY DOING THIS STUFF CORRECTLY.

THEY ALIGN YOU AS IF YOUR SPINE WAS AN ENDLESS PLATE OF CROCKERY.

THEY KIND OF LINE IT UP PROPERLY SO THAT IT WON'T TIP.

MOST OF OUR SPINES ZIGZAG HEINOUSLY, AND, IN FACT,

YOU CAN GO UP FOR MILES.

AS YOU KNOW, PEOPLE GET TALLER.

THE AVERAGE HUMAN HEIGHT INCREASES BY ONE AND A HALF INCHES EVERY 100 YEARS.

JULIUS CAESAR WOULD HAVE ONLY COME UP TO YOUR PELVIS.

YOU COULD HAVE BROILED HIM, YOU KNOW. HE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO TROUBLE.

THOSE LEGIONS WERE JUST MIDGETS.

I WENT TO AN ASTROLOGER'S HOUSE IN WHEREVER THAT PLACE IS...

WITH THE ROSE-COLORED ROCKS-- ARIZONA.

IT WAS BUILT FOR ASTRONOMERS IN THE FIFTH CENTURY B.C.

ALL THE DOORS WERE REALLY TINY.

THEY WERE ABOUT THE SIZE OF CUCUMBER FRAMES-- THE HEIGHT, ANYWAY.

SO I PICTURED ALL THESE CUCUMBERS GOING INTO THE ASTRONOMER'S HOUSE...

AND KIND OF SPIRALING UP THE STAIRS AND THEN LOOKING OUT.

ANYWAY, WHAT THEY WERE PLANNING TO DO IS MAKE PEOPLE--

BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE EATING MORE AND MORE PURE BEEF, WHICH, AS YOU KNOW,

IS PROBABLY THE BEST POSSIBLE FOOD STUFF THAT THE WORLD CAN PRODUCE.

BUT ONE OF THE REASONS THAT WE WERE CREATED--

THAT SIEMENS AND GLAXO AND VIRGIN AND DISNEY GOT TOGETHER AND SAID,

"LET THERE BE HUMANITY"--

WAS THAT SO WE COULD EAT BEEF.

AND I'M VERY PROUD OF OUR WONDERFUL COUNTRY THAT THEY HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN THAT.

[ Sparse Applause ] THANK YOU.

LET'S JUST HOPE THAT THE CONSERVATIVES GOT IN AGAIN, SHALL WE?

IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS IN THE FUTURE,

I COME FROM A TIME WHEN THERE WAS A TWO-PARTY SYSTEM.

BUT THINGS HAVE GLIBBED TOWARDS AN INEVITABLE MONOPOLY.

PEOPLE HAVEN'T COMPLAINED ABOUT THE EASTERN BLOC BEING A MONOPOLY FOR YEARS.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THE WEST.

THERE'S NOW JUST-- WHEN THE FINAL BIG FISH FILLETS THE LAST MEDIUM-SIZED FISH...

AND ABSORBS IT-- [ Makes Swishing Sound ] LIKE THAT,

THERE WILL JUST BE ONE BIG FISH WITH A DISTENDED STOMACH.

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE BEEF. LET'S NOT FORGET THIS.

PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE JUST GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER.

AS YOU KNOW, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS 7 FOOT 7.

IF YOU'VE BEEN TO THE SMITHSONIAN,

YOU'VE SEEN THAT THOSE CAPSULES--

THE MERCURY CAPSULE AND THE GEMINI CAPSULE-- THEY'RE VERY TINY.

THEY ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE THE STONEHENGE IN THE SPINAL TAP THING...

WHERE IT COMES DOWN ON A SPIDER'S WEB. [ Laughter ]

BUT THIS IS A POSTHUMOUS PUBLIC RELATIONS THING BY NASA.

IN FACT, THESE MEN WERE GIANTS, BECAUSE THEY WERE PUT INTO--

ALSO, ACTUALLY IN ARIZONA-- THEY WERE PUT INTO A GOVERNMENT SITE...

AND FED IRRADIATED, CARBONATED BEEF FOR TWO YEARS, AND THEY BECAME VERY TALL.

THEIR CAPSULES WERE HUGE.

ANYWAY, THEY'RE PLANNING FOR THE REST OF US TO FOLLOW SUIT.

AND I GOT SO ANGRY I WROTE THIS SONG.

♪♪

[ Applause ]

♪♪ LOOK AT THE CLOUD ABOVE THE BUS STOP ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S IN THE SHAPE OF YOU AND I ♪♪

♪♪ SWARMING AROUND US IN AN EVER-SHIFTING CIRCLE ♪♪

♪♪ IN THE SKY ♪♪

♪♪ LOOK AT ME DOWN THERE ON THE VIADUCT ♪♪

♪♪ COVERED IN GREASE AND LIME AND SCALES ♪♪

♪♪ MURMURING THANK YOU THANK YOU ♪♪

♪♪ TO THE ROMSEY GRAVEL ♪♪

♪♪ IN THE GALES ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ A HAPPY BIRD IS A FILTHY BIRD ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ A HAPPY BIRD IS A FILTHY BIRD ♪♪

[ Violin Imitates Seagull ]

♪♪ SOARING AWAY ABOVE THE CHESSBOARD ♪♪

♪♪ MANY'S THE EAGLE ON THE WING ♪♪

♪♪ CHECKING THEIR INSTRUMENTS BEFORE THEY BOMB THE CHILDREN ♪♪

♪♪ AS THEY SING ♪♪

♪♪ THERE'S A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ A HAPPY BIRD IS A FILTHY BIRD ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ A HAPPY BIRD IS A FILTHY BIRD ♪♪

[ Violin Imitates Seagull ]

♪♪ SPLASH MY COLD ENAMEL WITH BLOOD ♪♪

♪♪ A RONDEZVOUS WITH STONE WILL LEAVE YOU BLEEDING ♪♪

♪♪ DROP BY DROP ♪♪

♪♪ I SET YOUR FACE IN STONE ♪♪

♪♪ AH ♪♪

♪♪ AH ♪♪

♪♪ AH ♪♪

[ Violin Imitates Seagull ]

♪♪ LOOK AT THE MASSACRE ON CABLE ♪♪

♪♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT WON'T HAPPEN HERE ♪♪

♪♪ WE'RE ALL TOO BUSY WATCHING MASSACRES ON CABLE ♪♪

♪♪ OH, YEAH ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ A HAPPY BIRD IS A FILTHY BIRD ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ A HAPPY BIRD IS A FILTHY BIRD ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ A HAPPY BIRD IS A FILTHY BIRD ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ A HAPPY BIRD IS A FILTHY BIRD ♪♪

[ Applause, Hooting ] [ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ No Audible Dialogue ] [ Applause Continues ]

OH, YEAH. WE'RE STILL HERE.

♪♪ [ Adjusts Tuning ]

UM, YEAH, THIS IS ANOTHER ONE.

OKAY.

THE THING IS, I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE ACTUALLY INTRODUCE SONGS,

BECAUSE THE SONG ITSELF IS ITS INTRODUCTION TO ITSELF.

IT'S LIKE, IF YOU MEET SOMEBODY NAMED MARTHA,

THEY SAY, "THIS IS MARTHA."

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

THAT PERSON HAPPENS TO BE KNOWN AS MARTHA,

JUST AS I MIGHT BE CALLED BLOOMINGDALE'S...

OR DENI MIGHT BE CALLED STATEN ISLAND.

BUT THAT'S REALLY THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY.

MARTHA IS A WHOLE MASS OF MOLECULES AND COMPLEXES...

AND THINGS BOUND TOGETHER BY TERRIFYING PHYSICAL IMPROBABILITIES.

THE TRUTH IS, SHE COULD FLY APART AT ANY MOMENT,

LIKE SOME TERRIBLE PENT-UP LOCK THAT'S WAITING TO SNAP...

AND SPATTER HER PSYCHE ACROSS THE UNIVERSE.

GOD KNOWS-- IT IS DISGUSTING, DENI. IT'S LIFE.

IF IT WEREN'T FOR OUR RIB CAGES, THERE WOULD JUST BE SPLEENS A-GO-GO.

I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE JUST HELD IN BY ALL THIS STUFF,

AND THEN THEY'RE CALLED, ALMOST INSULTINGLY, A SINGLE NAME.

IT'S THE SAME WITH A SONG. I COULD SAY WHAT THE SONG'S CALLED,

WHICH ISN'T GOING TO BE MUCH OF A CLUE, UNLESS YOU'VE HEARD IT BEFORE.

OR I CAN EXPLAIN WHAT IT'S ABOUT, AND I'M GOING TO BE LYING.

SO, IN THE END, THERE'S NOT MUCH POINT IN IT REALLY.

AH, THAT'S INTERESTING. THERE'S SOME PEOPLE POLISHING A GUN CARRIAGE OVER THERE.

ONE OF THOSE BRASS 18th CENTURY THINGS FOR STORING IN TIME CAPSULES.

THERE'S A VERY THIN LINE BETWEEN TORTURE AND COSMETICS.

[ Laughter ] [ Chuckles ] I WONDER--

NOW'S OUR CHANCE TO CROSS IT.

OKAY, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND YIP-A-DANG.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!

♪♪

♪♪ I'M COMPLETELY GRAY YOU'RE COMPLETELY MAD ♪♪

♪♪ YOU'RE A MIDDLE-AGED BABY AND THE WORLD IS BAD ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ IN A JUICY CHASM DOWN A MOSSY CHINE ♪♪

♪♪ I CAN FEEL YOUR TONGUE RUNNING DOWN MY SPINE ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ AH, YOUR BREATH IS SWEET ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S BEYOND BELIEF ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOUR MOUTH CURLS 'ROUND LIKE A LEAF ♪♪

♪♪ OH, THE SKY IS BRUISED ♪♪

♪♪ KIND OF OVERCAST ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S ABOUT TO RAIN ♪♪

♪♪ THIS BIT ALWAYS GOES SO FAST ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOTTA GO ♪♪

♪♪ YES, YOU GOTTA GO NOW ♪♪

♪♪ OH, YOU GOTTA GO ♪♪

YEP.

♪♪ WHEN THE THUNDER BREAKS AND THE LIGHTENING FLASH ♪♪

♪♪ I'LL BE IN YOUR HEART EVEN IF WE CRASH ♪♪

♪♪ WHEN THE THUNDER BREAKS AND THE RAIN COMES DOWN ♪♪

♪♪ IN THE NAKED LIGHT I WILL KISS YOUR GOWN ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

A ONE.

A TWO.

A THREE.

YEP.

♪♪ THERE'S A JEWELED BOX BY YOUR FLEECY BED ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOUR FINGERNAILS CARESS MY HEAD ♪♪

♪♪ YOU'RE THE ONE I LOVE YOU'RE THE ONE I'VE GOT ♪♪

♪♪ YOU'RE THE ONE I'M WITH EVEN WHEN I'M NOT ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ THUNDERING, THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ THUNDERING, THUNDERING ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S GO THUNDERING ♪♪

[ Applause, Hooting ]

MS. DENI BONET...

WHO IS NOT FAR AWAY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF CHURCH YOU LIKE TO IMAGINE,

BUT I LIKE TO IMAGINE A CHURCH FULL OF CARCASSES.

[ Laughter ] UM--

YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONE BIG CARCASS AT THE END IN EXTREME PAIN,

AND THERE'S A LOT OF CARCASSES IN VARIOUS STAGES OF AGONY KNEELING TOWARDS IT.

AND MAYBE, COMING DOWN THE AISLE, THERE'S TWO KIND OF...

PROTO-CARCASSES WITH THEIR HACKED AND MANGLED DIGITS...

BONDED TOGETHER IN A BLOODY WELT,

AND THEY'RE BEING CLUBBED BY A PRIEST. [ Clapping, Laughter ]

NOW, LET IT COME, BROTHER. LET IT COME.

AND, UM, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR. WE'RE TESTIFYING.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT FOR, BUT WE'RE TESTIFYING TO SOMETHING.

AND, YOU KNOW, OUTSIDE THE CHURCH THERE'S EVEN MORE CARCASSES,

WHO HOPEFULLY ARE AT REST.

ABOVE THE CHURCH THERE IS SORT OF A HUGE MEGA-CARCASS...

WITH A LONG WHITE BEARD AND A TOP HAT...

WHO'S GOING, "WELL DONE, MY CHILDREN."

THERE'S ANOTHER WHO'S ON HIS MOBILE PHONE TO THE BLOKE IN THE VESTRY...

OR WHATEVER IT IS, WHO SAYS, "I THINK WE GOT MORE IN THAN USUAL, LORD."

AND HE SAYS, "OKAY, WANG IT UP NEXT TIME."

♪♪

♪♪ [ Stops ] I MEAN, IT'S VERY DANGEROUS TO MOCK PEOPLE'S BELIEFS,

BECAUSE YOU CAN BE TORTURED AND DESTROYED BY OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.

VERY SELDOM DO DIVINE FORCES ACTUALLY WREAK THEIR VENGEANCE ON YOU,

BUT IT'S VERY DANGEROUS TO BE AN INFIDEL IN SOMEONE'S EYES.

I BELIEVE VERY FIRMLY IN GOD, IN TERMS OF SPIRITUALITY.

I ALSO HAVE AN INFINITE CONTEMPT FOR RELIGION,

WHICH I THINK IS HIJACKING PEOPLE'S SPIRITUALITY FOR POLITICAL PURPOSES.

I THINK RELIGION IS PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO PORNOGRAPHY IN THAT RESPECT.

[ Scattered Applause ]

♪♪

♪♪ SAID, I'M A WILLOW ♪♪

♪♪ BENDING IN YOUR MIND ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A MIRROR CRACKED ♪♪

♪♪ FROM SIDE TO SIDE ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAIN IN AN EMPTY ROOM ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A HOUSE THAT BURNS DOWN EVERY NIGHT ♪♪

♪♪ FOR YOU ♪♪

♪♪ SAID I'M A DOORWAY ♪♪

♪♪ LEADING TO THE DARK ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A LIQUID YOU'RE DISSOLVING IN ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A POLICEMAN WORKING IN AN EMPTY HOUSE ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A DISTANT STEEPLE ON A ♪♪

♪♪ LONG-ABANDONED PLAIN ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETIMES WHEN I'M LONELY ♪♪

♪♪ BABY, THEN I'M ONLY YOU ♪♪

♪♪ SAID I'M A PATTERN ♪♪

♪♪ ON A CHINA BOWL ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A MEMORY ♪♪

♪♪ ENGRAVED UPON YOUR SOUL ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A PRISON CELL WITHOUT A DOOR ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A DISTANT STEEPLE ♪♪

♪♪ ON A FROSTY WINDOW PANE ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETIMES WHEN I'M LONELY ♪♪

♪♪ BABY, THEN I'M ONLY YOU ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETIMES WHEN I'M LONELY ♪♪

♪♪ BABY, THEN I'M ONLY YOU ♪♪

♪♪ [ Ends ] [ Applause, Cheering ]

[ Applause, Cheering Continue ]

♪♪

♪♪ SEEMS LIKE YOU WERE IN A GLASS HOTEL ♪♪

♪♪ SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ SEEMS LIKE THERE WAS SOMEONE ELSE AS WELL ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING WAS GOING WELL ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WERE UP THERE IN YOUR GLASS HOTEL ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ A DREAM ♪♪

♪♪ OH, THE RADIO WAS PLAYING ♪♪

♪♪ IN THE DARKNESS OF THE HALL ♪♪

♪♪ THERE WAS SOMEONE STANDING WITH YOU ♪♪

♪♪ WHO JUST WASN'T THERE AT ALL ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOU WERE LAUGHING ♪♪

♪♪ OH, A TELEPHONE WAS RINGING ♪♪

♪♪ IN A CORRIDOR OF BLUE ♪♪

♪♪ A GERANIUM CAME OUT OF IT ♪♪

♪♪ REMINDED ME OF YOU ♪♪

♪♪ AND I WAS CRYING ♪♪

♪♪ SEEMS LIKE YOU WERE IN A GLASS HOTEL ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ SEEMS LIKE THERE WAS SOMEONE ELSE AS WELL ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS LIKE ♪♪

♪♪ IT SEEMS ♪♪

♪♪ OH, THERE'S NOTHING IN THE FUTURE ♪♪

♪♪ AND THERE'S NOTHING IN THE PAST ♪♪

♪♪ THERE IS ONLY THIS ONE MOMENT ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOU GOTTA MAKE IT LAST ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOU WERE LAUGHING ♪♪

♪♪ IN ♪♪

♪♪ A GLASS ♪♪

♪♪ HOTEL ♪♪

[ Applause, Cheering ]

[ Whistling ]

AH, YEAH, WHEN YOU EXTINGUISH THE CANDLE,

THEN YOU HAVE TO PAY THE PENALTY.

THE PENALTY IS THAT YOU'RE TRANSPORTED FROM HERE BY TWO MINOTAURS,

WHICH, AS YOU KNOW, ARE HUMAN UP TO THE NECK, AND THEN THEY HAVE BULLS' HEADS.

UH, THEY HAVE REAL BULLS' HEADS.

THEY'RE NOT JUST WEARING BULL-HEAD MASKS.

THEY ACTUALLY BECOME BULL FROM THE NECK UP.

THE MINOTAURS HAVE A LOT OF DUCT TAPE,

AND THEY SWADDLE YOU IN IT.

OR GAFFER TAPE, IF YOU'RE WATCHING IN ENGLAND.

YOU'RE SWADDLED IN DUCT TAPE, AND YOU'RE CARRIED AWAY BY THE TWO MINOTAURS...

DOWN AN ENDLESS SERIES OF DUCTS.

THEN YOU'RE PINPOINTED JUST ABOVE ABOUT...

2,723 FEET ABOVE SEA LEVEL,

AND YOU ARE FIRED OUT OVER CENTRAL LONDON.

THEN YOU COME DOWN.

IT'S THE REVERSE OF NORMAL GRAVITY.

IT ACTUALLY GETS SLOWER AS YOU GET NEARER TO THE GROUND.

SO YOU RUN OUT OF MOMENTUM ABOUT EIGHT FEET ABOVE LEICESTER SQUARE.

AND EVERYBODY THINKS THAT YOU'RE A BOMB-- A THERMONUCLEAR DEVICE--

'CAUSE WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN BROUGHT UP IN OUR FOLK STORIES IN BRITAIN...

THAT THE BOMB WOULD DETONATE ABOVE GROUND TO ACHIEVE MAXIMUM DEVASTATION.

SO AS THEY SEE THIS THING, WHICH IS YOU,

SWADDLED IN DUCT TAPE, COMING DOWN OVER CENTRAL LONDON,

PEOPLE BEGIN TO FLEE. [ Laughter ]

THERE'S ENORMOUS TRAFFIC CONGESTION, ESPECIALLY ON THE A4...

BUT ALSO ON SOME OF THE OTHER MAIN ROUTES,

LIKE THE BEGINNING OF THE A1--

WHATEVER IT'S CALLED-- HIGHBURY CORNER AND ALL THAT STUFF.

IT GETS MORE AND MORE CLUTTERED, AND PEOPLE ARE FLEEING.

THEY'RE STARTING TO TREAD ON EACH OTHER IN THEIR PANIC.

THEY'RE SPILLING CUPS OF HONEY AND KNOCKING OVER THEODOLITES...

AND RETORT STANDS AND TRIVETS AND ALL THOSE SORTS OF THINGS.

A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE BLUNDERING THROUGH ANCIENT CHEMICAL APPARATUS.

THERE'S STUFF THAT PEOPLE HAVE GOT--

PEOPLE WITH SLIDES--

YOU KNOW, SLIDES OF TISSUE. THINGS LIKE CORRODED LUNGS.

THEY'RE SPILLING THAT IN THEIR PANIC.

THEY'RE SAYING, "JUST ONE MORE CUP OF COFFEE, MS. PATTERSON."

THEN IT'S GETTING SPILLED AS WELL, AND THEY'RE GETTING MORE DISTURBED.

AND RUBBER TIRES, WHICH HAVE NEVER SEEN THE OUTSIDE OF A WHEEL--

THEY'RE JUST COSMETIC--

COME SMASHING THROUGH THE VENETIAN BLINDS,

AND THEY KNOCK OVER THE PAPER CUPS AND THEY HIT THE FILES,

AND THE COMPUTERS ALL GO BLANK AND THE BUILDINGS, BEGIN TO SHAKE.

THEY NOTICE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG UNDERGROUND,

SO THEY HAVE A STRIKE UNDERGROUND.

HUNDREDS OF PASSENGERS ARE TRAPPED UNDERGROUND...

AS YOU GET CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE SURFACE.

THEN, JUST EIGHT FEET ABOVE LEICESTER SQUARE, YOU STOP.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

♪♪ I SOMETHING YOU ♪♪

♪♪ AS THE NIGHTS GET OLDER ♪♪

♪♪ I SOMETHING YOU ♪♪

♪♪ AS IF YOU COULDN'T SEE ♪♪

♪♪ IN THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE ♪♪

♪♪ AT LEAST I HAVEN'T GOT A WIFE ♪♪

♪♪ I SOMETHING YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WHATNOT ME ♪♪

♪♪ I SOMETHING YOU ♪♪

♪♪ AS THE DEAD THINGS MOLDER ♪♪

♪♪ IN LEICESTER SQUARE ♪♪

♪♪ THAT'S THE PLACE TO BE ♪♪

♪♪ AFTER ALL THESE RUINED YEARS ♪♪

♪♪ LET ME REALIZE YOUR FEARS ♪♪

♪♪ I SOMETHING YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WHATNOT ME ♪♪

♪♪ IN THIS KIND OF SONG ♪♪

♪♪ MIDDLE BITS ARE SO PREDICTABLE ♪♪

♪♪ BUT YOU CAME ALONG ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WERE NOT AT ALL PREDICTABLE ♪♪

♪♪ I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE LIKE THIS ♪♪

♪♪ I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE LIKE THIS ♪♪

♪♪ WELL, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ♪♪

♪♪ YOU COULD BE LIKE THIS ♪♪

♪♪ THAT YOU'D BE LIKE THIS ♪♪

♪♪ THAT I'D FEEL LIKE THIS, BUT ♪♪

♪♪ I SOMETHING YOU ♪♪

♪♪ AS THE NIGHTS GET COLDER ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOU HEAT UP ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOU ARE NEXT TO ME ♪♪

♪♪ IN THE TWILIGHT OF THIS WORLD ♪♪

♪♪ YOU ARE MY DUTCH-AUSTRALIAN HUNGARIAN-JEWISH GIRL ♪♪

♪♪ I SOMETHING YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WHATNOT ME ♪♪

♪♪ I SOMETHING YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU SOMETHING ME ♪♪

♪♪ [ Ends ] [ Applause ]

[ Man ] WHOO!

[ Applause Continues ]

AND WHILE WE'RE ON THIS KIND OF A ROLL,

THIS IS THE MOST UPBEAT SONG I'VE EVER WRITTEN.

IT'S ABOUT DEATH FROM CANCER.

[ Sparse Laughter ] ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ THIS OLD MAN ♪♪

♪♪ HE WAS FLESH ♪♪

♪♪ THEY WHEELED HIM IN UPON A TROLLEY ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN, VERA LYNN ♪♪

♪♪ DRAW A WINDOW ON HIS SKIN, NOW ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN ♪♪

♪♪ THIS OLD MAN ♪♪

♪♪ HE WAS NEXT ♪♪

♪♪ BLINDFOLDED TO FACE THE VOLLEY ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN, VERA LYNN ♪♪

♪♪ LOVE WILL COME OF ALL OUR SINS ♪♪

♪♪ PAINT THAT ON MY TAIL FIN, NOW ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN ♪♪

♪♪ THIS OLD MAN PERSEVERED ♪♪

♪♪ IN HIS MIND HE LAY WITH MOLLY ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN, VERA LYNN ♪♪

♪♪ CLEANSE US WITH YOUR HEALING GRIN ♪♪

♪♪ SEPTICEMIA ALWAYS WINS, NOW ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN ♪♪

♪♪ COMA HIGH ♪♪

♪♪ COMA LOW ♪♪

♪♪ BLOOD IS PRECIOUS YES OR NO ♪♪

♪♪ I BELIEVE ♪♪

♪♪ IN SURGERY ♪♪

♪♪ AND THAT'S A FACT ♪♪

♪♪ I BELIEVE ♪♪

♪♪ IN MAKING IT EASY ♪♪

♪♪ I BELIEVE ♪♪

♪♪ IN SURGERY ♪♪

♪♪ BUT I NEVER ACT ♪♪

♪♪ I BELIEVE ♪♪

♪♪ IN MAKING IT EASY ♪♪

♪♪ EASY ♪♪

♪♪ EASY ♪♪

♪♪ EASY ♪♪

♪♪ EASY ♪♪

♪♪ EASY ♪♪

♪♪ EASY ♪♪

♪♪ OH, YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ THIS OLD MAN ♪♪

♪♪ HE WAS GONE ♪♪

♪♪ HE WAS GONE AND I WAS SORRY ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN, VERA LYNN ♪♪

♪♪ DOWN I SPIRAL DOWN I SPIN ♪♪

♪♪ FORCES' SWEETHEART I'M YOUR TWIN, NOW ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN ♪♪

♪♪ VERA LYNN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN-NIN ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

♪♪ YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP-YIP ♪♪

[ Applause, Hooting ] [ Man ] YEAH!

[ Applause, Hooting Continue ]

WE APPEAR TO BE COMPLETELY UNOBSERVED. [ Laughter ]

UH, WE TALKED ABOUT GETTING A BASICALLY INFORMAL SETTING FOR THIS,

AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE SUCCEEDED.

♪♪ [ Checks Tuning ]

WHAT WAS THE KINDLY OLD LADY MADE OF?

♪♪

♪♪ WHEN YOU ♪♪

♪♪ TAKE ME ♪♪

♪♪ INTO A FIELD ♪♪

♪♪ OF GLASS AND RAIN ♪♪

♪♪ AND THEN ♪♪

♪♪ YOU GET ME ♪♪

♪♪ LOOKING AGAIN ♪♪

♪♪ I SAY CAROLINE ♪♪

♪♪ NO NEED TO SPELL IT BACKWARDS ♪♪

♪♪ THAT'S ENILORAC ♪♪

♪♪ YOU SAY DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ♪♪

♪♪ I AM NOT ME ♪♪

♪♪ WHEN YOU ♪♪

♪♪ TAKE ME ♪♪

♪♪ ONTO A LAKE ♪♪

♪♪ OF FROZEN STORMS ♪♪

♪♪ AND THEN ♪♪

♪♪ YOU TELL ME ♪♪

♪♪ AS IT GETS ♪♪

♪♪ COLD ♪♪

♪♪ YOU GET WARM AGAIN ♪♪

♪♪ AND THEN AS YOU GET WARMER ♪♪

♪♪ YOU PERFORM AGAIN ♪♪

♪♪ YOU HEAT ME UP AND SMILE ♪♪

♪♪ I AM NOT ME ♪♪

♪♪ BUT SHA-LA ♪♪

♪♪ LA-LA ♪♪

♪♪ ME ♪♪

♪♪ OH, SHA-LA ♪♪

♪♪ LA-LA ♪♪

♪♪ ME ♪♪

♪♪ WHEN I ♪♪

♪♪ TAKE YOU ♪♪

♪♪ INTO THE CHAMBER ♪♪

♪♪ OF THE SUN ♪♪

♪♪ AND THEN ♪♪

♪♪ YOU TAKE ME ♪♪

♪♪ 'CAUSE IT'S A ♪♪

♪♪ DEAL ♪♪

♪♪ I SAY, CAROLINE ♪♪

♪♪ NO NEED TO BE SO NAKED ♪♪

♪♪ WE'VE BEEN INTRODUCED ♪♪

♪♪ YOU SAY THAT'S YOUR EXCUSE ♪♪

♪♪ I AM NOT ME ♪♪

♪♪ BUT SHA-LA ♪♪

♪♪ LA-LA ♪♪

♪♪ ME ♪♪

♪♪ OH, SHA-LA ♪♪

♪♪ LA-LA ♪♪

♪♪ ME, TWO, THREE, FOUR ♪♪

♪♪ [ Ends ] [ Applause ]

[ Adjusts Amplifier ]

♪♪ [ Adjusts Tuning ]

[ Applause Continues ]

THIS IS ABOUT SOMEBODY WHO'S...

REALLY GONE.

♪♪

♪♪ ALL OF THE COLORS RAN OUT ♪♪

♪♪ 'ROUND MID-NOVEMBER, OH ♪♪

♪♪ WE WAS A-SCUTTLE-ABOUT ♪♪

♪♪ DO YOU REMEMBER, OH ♪♪

♪♪ YOU LEFT YOUR RADIO ON ♪♪

♪♪ WITH BERRIES ALL OVER IT ♪♪

♪♪ WHEN ALL THE MUSIC WAS GONE ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WERE IN MAUVE A BIT ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETHING ABOUT YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND OBLIVION ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETHING ABOUT YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND OBLIVION ♪♪

♪♪ YOU HELD ON TIGHT TO THE RAIL ♪♪

♪♪ I HELD THE OTHER ONE ♪♪

♪♪ SEEKING YOUR PERSONAL GRAIL ♪♪

♪♪ JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER'S ONE ♪♪

♪♪ GLIDING PAST HEDGES AND CLOCKS ♪♪

♪♪ OFF TO INFINITY ♪♪

♪♪ I CAN REMEMBER YOUR LOCKS ♪♪

♪♪ AND YOUR VIRGINITY ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETHING ABOUT YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND OBLIVION ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETHING ABOUT YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND OBLIVION ♪♪

♪♪ SITTING ALONE BY THE TOMBS ♪♪

♪♪ UNDER THE OBELISK ♪♪

♪♪ MIXING UP POWDERS WITH BROOMS ♪♪

♪♪ YOU SHOULD HAVE GOT A WHISK ♪♪

♪♪ THIS IS THE MONTH OF THE DEAD ♪♪

♪♪ LEAVES ON YOUR OUIJA BOARD ♪♪

♪♪ CARRY THEM 'ROUND IN YOUR HEAD ♪♪

♪♪ THEY'VE GOT FREE ♪♪

♪♪ ROOM AND BOARD ♪♪

♪♪ YEAH ♪♪

♪♪ RIGHT WHEN THE DEATH TRAIN GOT YOUR MA ♪♪

♪♪ RIGHT WHEN THE DEATH TRAIN GOT MY PA ♪♪

♪♪ LET'S SLIP YOUR HAND ON THE PLATFORM ♪♪

♪♪ SAID I MUST BE GOING YEAH ♪♪

♪♪ SEE YOU ♪♪

♪♪ SEE YOU ♪♪

♪♪ ALL OF THE COLORS RAN OUT ♪♪

♪♪ 'ROUND MID-NOVEMBER, OH ♪♪

♪♪ WE WAS A-SCUTTLE-ABOUT ♪♪

♪♪ DO YOU REMEMBER, OH ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETHING ABOUT YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND OBLIVION ♪♪

♪♪ SOMETHING ABOUT YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND OBLIVION ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND OBLIVION ♪♪

♪♪ YOU AND OBLIVION ♪♪

[ Adjusting Floor Pedal ]

[ Applause, Hooting, Whistling ]

♪♪ [ Adjusts Tuning ] [ Applause Continues ]

I DON'T COME FROM ANYWHERE PARTICULARLY,

BUT INASMUCH AS I COME FROM ANYWHERE,

I COME FROM THIS DIAMOND-SHAPED ISLAND AT THE BOTTOM OF ENGLAND.

IT SORT OF SLOTS INTO THE BOTTOM AS IF GREAT BRITAIN WAS LAYING AN EGG.

IT'S LIKE THIS DIAMOND-SHAPED EGG WHICH IS THE ISLE OF WIGHT.

THERE'S SOME VERY BEAUTIFUL BITS OF CLIFF AND BEACH THERE.

BUT IT'S VERY SOFT. THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND IS DISAPPEARING...

AT THE RATE OF ABOUT TEN FEET A YEAR.

THE STUFF JUST GOES, AND IT DOESN'T SEEM TO COME BACK.

SO I WORKED OUT THAT THE CLIFFS THAT I PACE,

IN ANOTHER HUNDRED YEARS TIME,

WILL HAVE DISAPPEARED COMPLETELY...

AND THAT MY GHOST WILL BE, YOU KNOW, 50 FEET ABOVE THE BEACH.

THERE MUST BE OTHER GHOSTS OUT TO SEA.

AS THE GHOSTS GET FURTHER OUT TO SEA, THEIR COSTUMES GET OLDER.

SO YOU'VE GOT GHOSTS FROM THE '50s ABOUT 20 FEET OUT.

YOU'VE GOT WORLD WAR II GHOSTS JUST BEYOND THAT.

THEN YOU'VE GOT GREAT WAR GHOSTS WITH THEIR GOGGLES.

EDWARDIAN GHOSTS WITH THEIR M

AND VICTORIAN GHOSTS WITH THEIR CRAVATS AND CANES...

AND JACOBEAN GHOSTS WITH THEIR LEGS.

AND, UH, IT JUST GOES BACK ON, WHATEVER THEY HAD.

THOSE THINGS TO STOP THEM SMELLING TOO BAD.

AND, UM, ABOUT A MILE OUT TO SEA, THERE MUST BE CRO-MAGNON GHOSTS...

JUST CLUBBING EACH OTHER TO DEATH AND GRINNING.

AND I GUESS THERE'S GONNA BE A FEW MORE OF THOSE INLAND AS WELL.

ANYWAY, THIS IS A SONG FROM MY GHOST TO THOSE WHO WALK UNDERNEATH IT.

I MEAN, WHICH-- WHICH MAY WELL BE COMPUTERS, ACTUALLY.

IF, UH, ANY OF YOU COMPUTERS ARE WATCHING THIS IN 50 YEARS' TIME,

WE'RE THE PEOPLE THAT PUT YOU HERE.

WE ARE GOD. WE'RE TERRIBLY SORRY.

YOU KNOW, OUR GOD NEVER APOLOGIZED TO US. [ Laughter ]

HE MADE US BOW DOWN AND FUCKING WORSHIP HIM FOR CENTURIES.

EVERY TIME HE SLAPPED US IN THE FACE WE HAD TO GO,

"OH, GREAT IS THY MERCY, O LORD. HAVE ANOTHER SACRIFICE."

[ Laughter ]

"I'VE CHOPPED OFF THIS ARM. WILL THE LEG DO?" YOU KNOW.

"ELMER, GET OFF THE LEG!"

UH, SO ANYWAY, WE APOLOGIZE. WE'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.

WE CREATED YOU. WE'RE EXTINCT.

♪♪ [ Playing Mid-Tempo, Major-Key Arpeggios ]

♪♪ AND IN THE ELEMENT OF LIGHT ♪♪

♪♪ THE SUN REFLECTED FROM THE WAVES ♪♪

♪♪ INSHORE IT SPANGLES ♪♪

♪♪ THE CHILD OF AIR IS BORNE ♪♪

♪♪ UPON THE WIND THAT BLOWS ACROSS THE SEA ♪♪

♪♪ AND IN THE ELEMENT OF SUMMER ♪♪

♪♪ THE CLIFF SUSPENDED IN THE HEAT ♪♪

♪♪ THE AIR IN COLUMNS ♪♪

♪♪ THE TINY FIGURES OF THE WORLD ♪♪

♪♪ ARE WALKING UNDERNEATH YOUR FEET ♪♪

♪♪ AND UNDERNEATH YOUR HAIR ♪♪

♪♪ WHERE ANGELS WANDER ♪♪

♪♪ I'LL WANDER TOO ♪♪

♪♪ WHERE ANGELS WANDER ♪♪

♪♪ OVER YOU ♪♪

♪♪ AND IN THE ELEMENT OF DARKNESS ♪♪

♪♪ THE STARLIGHT SHIMMERS ON THE SPRAY ♪♪

♪♪ AND FALLS TOWARDS YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOUR PERFECT LOVER NEVER THERE ♪♪

♪♪ AND IF SHE WAS SHE WOULDN'T BE ♪♪

♪♪ AND NEITHER WOULD YOU ♪♪

♪♪ SAVE YOUR ILLUSIONS ♪♪

♪♪ FOR SOMEONE ELSE ♪♪

♪♪ SAVE YOUR ILLUSIONS ♪♪

♪♪ FOR YOURSELF ♪♪

♪♪ FOR YOURSELF ♪♪

♪♪ [ Raga-Style Solo ]

♪♪ [ Arpeggios ]

♪♪ AND IN THE ELEMENT OF LAUGHTER ♪♪

♪♪ QUICK EXPLOSION AND THE SLOW ♪♪

♪♪ RETURN OF SORROW ♪♪

♪♪ THE TIDE RECEDES UPON THE BONES ♪♪

♪♪ OF SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL AND DROWNED ♪♪

♪♪ IN CORAL AND IN JADE ♪♪

♪♪ WHERE ANGELS HOVER ♪♪

♪♪ I'LL HOVER TOO ♪♪

♪♪ WHERE ANGELS HOVER ♪♪

♪♪ OVER YOU ♪♪

♪♪ OVER YOU ♪♪

♪♪ OVER YOU ♪♪

♪♪ [ Ends ]

[ Applause ]

♪♪ [ Up-Tempo Rock Beat ]

♪♪ THERE'S A JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD ♪♪

♪♪ AND I KNOW JUST WHAT SHE'S CALLED ♪♪

♪♪ SHE'S CALLED ELAINE ♪♪

♪♪ THERE'S A DEAD MAN IN YOUR HEART ♪♪

♪♪ AND HE TAKES UP TOO MUCH ROOM ♪♪

♪♪ AND I KNOW JUST WHAT HE'S CALLED ♪♪

♪♪ HE'S CALLED STEVE ♪♪

♪♪ [ Playing Bluesy Single-Note Riffs ♪♪

♪♪ THERE'S A FARMER IN THE CLOUDS ♪♪

♪♪ AND HE'S SOWING GOLDEN SEEDS ♪♪

♪♪ AND HE'S FEEDING ON YOUR DREAMS ♪♪

♪♪ THAT'S THE ONLY THING YOU NEED ♪♪

♪♪ AND I KNOW JUST WHAT HE'S CALLED ♪♪

♪♪ HE'S CALLED RAY ♪♪

♪♪ I'M STARTING TO FREEZE ♪♪

♪♪ FREEZE ♪♪

♪♪ FREEZE ♪♪

♪♪ I KNOW WHO WROTE THE BOOK OF LOVE ♪♪

♪♪ IT WAS AN IDIOT ♪♪

♪♪ IT WAS A FOOL ♪♪

♪♪ A SLOBBERING FOOL WITH A SPEECH DEFECT ♪♪

♪♪ AND A SHAKING HAND ♪♪

♪♪ AND HE WROTE MY NAME ♪♪

♪♪ NEXT TO YOURS ♪♪

♪♪ BUT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DAVID BYRNE OR SOMEBODY ♪♪

♪♪ THERE'S A JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD ♪♪

♪♪ AND SHE'S CRUEL BUT SHE'S FAIR ♪♪

♪♪ AND I KNOW JUST WHAT SHE'S CALLED ♪♪

♪♪ SHE'S CALLED ELAINE ♪♪

♪♪ [ Single-Note Lead ]

♪♪ [ Ends ]

[ Applause ]

[ Robyn ] I REMOVE THE THIRD CONE, AND THERE'S CAPTAIN KEEGAN AND THE TOMATO.

[ Applause ]

[ Muttering ]

[ Laughs ]

TOTAL HYSTERIA. AND WHY NOT?

UH, THIS IS A REALLY COMFORTABLE SONG.

IT'S THE MUSICAL EQUIVALENT OF A SOFA...

OR A CONTOUR-FITTED CHAIR.

IT'S UNABLE TO CAUSE YOU ANY PAIN WHATSOEVER.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, UNLESS ACTUALLY HEARING THE HARMONICS...

OF THIS KIND OF THING IS PAINFUL.

BUT IT'S DESIGNED NOT TO UPSET YOU IN THE LEAST.

IT'S-IT'S NOT EVEN BLAND.

YOU KNOW, YOU COULDN'T SAY, "THIS IS ANNOYINGLY COMFORTABLE."

IT'S LIKE-- I WAS IN A LOBBY ONCE IN MINNEAPOLIS AND, UH--

IN FACT, THERE WAS A WHOLE HOTEL ON TOP OF IT AS WELL.

AND I WAS IN THE LOBBY, AND IT WAS ICY OUTSIDE.

THERE WERE PEOPLE WITH ICE PICKS,

AND THEY WERE JUST HAULING THEMSELVES ALONG THE SURFACE...

LIKE THEY DO WHEN, YOU KNOW, THEY TURN THE SCREEN HORIZONTALLY.

AND THEY WERE INCHING THEIR WAY ALONG NICOLETT MALL.

AND THERE WAS A HOWLING BLIZZARD,

AND INSIDE IT WAS VERY-- IT WAS--

THERE WAS THIS MUZAK PLAYING IN THE LOBBY, AND I HAD A HANGOVER.

AND I WAS CARRYING A MEAT CLEAVER, AND I WENT UP TO THE DESK,

AND I SAID, "COULD YOU TURN THE MUZAK DOWN, PLEASE?"

AND THEY SAID, "I'M SORRY, SI. WE CAN'T."

AND I SAID-- I TOOK MY CLEAVER OUT-- [ Laughter ]

AND I SAID, "WHY NOT?" AND THEY SAID, "BECAUSE IT'S PLEASING."

[ Laughter ]

OKAY. IF YOU START, THEN I'LL FOLLOW YOU.

♪♪ [ Strumming Acoustic Guitar ]

♪♪ [ Playing Arpeggios ]

♪♪ I GOTTA GO ♪♪

♪♪ BUT IT WON'T BE SO I DON'T BE BACK AGAIN ♪♪

♪♪ I GOTTA LEAVE ♪♪

♪♪ BUT I DON'T BELIEVE WE WON'T BE BACK AGAIN ♪♪

[ Together ] ♪♪ NO, NO, NO, NO ♪♪

♪♪ EVERYTHING'S INSIDE ANOTHER ♪♪

♪♪ NO, NO, NO, NO, NO ♪♪

♪♪ ALL RIGHT, YEAH ♪♪

♪♪ I GOTTA WALK ♪♪

♪♪ BUT I'M GONNA PUT MY FORK NEXT TO YOUR SPOON ♪♪

♪♪ I GOTTA SPLIT ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S A QUAINT OLD-FASHIONED WAY TO LEAVE THE ROOM ♪♪

♪♪ MMM ♪♪

♪♪ SMELL THEM BURNING LEAVES ♪♪

♪♪ EVERY ONE BESIDE ANOTHER ♪♪

♪♪ NO, NO, NO, NO, NO ♪♪

♪♪ ALL RIGHT, YEAH ♪♪

♪♪ WHATEVER YOU PRAY TO ♪♪

♪♪ THAT'S WHERE YOU BELONG ♪♪

♪♪ I'M GONNA GET MINE SOMEDAY ♪♪

♪♪ I'M GONNA GET MINE ♪♪

♪♪ I GOTTA LAUGH ♪♪

♪♪ BUT THERE'S HALF OF ME THAT WANTS ♪♪

♪♪ TO SIT AND CRY ♪♪

♪♪ I'VE GOTTA SPLIT ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S A QUAINT OLD-FASHIONED WAY ♪♪

♪♪ TO SAY GOOD-BYE ♪♪

♪♪ GOOD-BYE ♪♪

♪♪ WHAT'S YOUR MOTHER FOR ♪♪

♪♪ NOT A LAUNCH PAD FOR YOUR FATHER ♪♪

♪♪ NO, NO, NO, NO, NO ♪♪

♪♪ ALL RIGHT, YEAH ♪♪

♪♪ ALL RIGHT, YEAH ♪♪

♪♪ ALL RIGHT, YEAH ♪♪ ♪♪ DO, DO, DO, DO DO, DO, DO, DO, DO ♪♪

[ Applause ]

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THINGS,

THAT CAN MAKE YOU VERY BITTER.

IF THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T HAPPEN TO GO ALONG...

WITH YOUR WAY OF SEEING THINGS,

AND IF THE REST OF THE WORLD INCLUDES SOMEONE YOU'VE BEEN CLOSE TO,

THEN YOU FEEL WORSE.

♪♪ NO ♪♪

♪♪ I DON'T REMEMBER GUILDFORD ♪♪

♪♪ WHAT, WAS THERE SOMETHING ♪♪

♪♪ JOG MY MEMORY ♪♪

♪♪ NOT THE CATHEDRAL OR THE POOL ♪♪

♪♪ IF THERE'S A POOL ♪♪

♪♪ I'M A LITTLE PAST IT ♪♪

♪♪ I'M NEAR ENOUGH TO BE SCORCHED ♪♪

♪♪ NOT BLASTED ♪♪

♪♪ BUT ♪♪

♪♪ NO ♪♪

♪♪ I DON'T REMEMBER ♪♪

♪♪ JENNER ROAD ♪♪

♪♪ EVEN THOUGH WE LIVED THERE ♪♪

♪♪ AND THINGS CAME THROUGH THE LETTER BOX ♪♪

♪♪ THICK AND FAST ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S IN THE PAST ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S IN THE BRACKEN ♪♪

♪♪ DID SOMETHING HAPPEN ♪♪

♪♪ THE SKY JUST BLACKENED ♪♪

♪♪ NOW THERE'S A BUTTERFLY ♪♪

♪♪ ON MY FACE ♪♪

♪♪ AND I'M A NUMBER ♪♪

♪♪ IN A DRAWER ♪♪

♪♪ [ Scatting ]

♪♪ HANG UP YOUR NET, CHILD ♪♪

♪♪ SHOW SOME RESPECT ♪♪

♪♪ TO THE GHOSTS THAT ARE RUINING YOUR LIFE ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S YOUR LIFE ♪♪

♪♪ NO ♪♪

♪♪ I DON'T REMEMBER FALLING ♪♪

♪♪ FROM A FLAGPOLE ♪♪

♪♪ ONTO A TAXI ♪♪

♪♪ TO LEAVE MY IMPRINT ♪♪

♪♪ AND MY ENTRAILS ♪♪

♪♪ FOR YOU TO KISS ♪♪

♪♪ IN THE MORNING SUN ♪♪

♪♪ [ Scatting ]

♪♪ NO ♪♪

♪♪ I DON'T REMEMBER GUILDFORD ♪♪

[ Applause, Hooting ]

UH, J.D., SHOULD WE-- SHOULD WE KNOCK IT OFF AT THIS POINT?