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- Here we go.
- ADULT SHELDON: For many kids,
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00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:07,757
Christmas morning wasthe mostexciting day of the year.
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00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:10,802
That's only because mostkids don't know the joy
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00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,722
of getting their college midterms back.
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00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:16,933
It also didn't hurt that Dr.Sturgis looked like an elf.
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("DECK THE HALLS" PLAYING)
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Nice work, Sheldon.
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Now,
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00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:26,818
you'll notice that your
grades are lower than expected.
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00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,196
That's because Sheldon did so well,
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00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,740
he broke the curve,
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00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:35,201
turning your A's and
B's into B's and C's.
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They don't seem happy about it.
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00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,626
Maybe you can give them candy.
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(BELLS JINGLING)
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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DALE: Okay. This is whereI spend all my time,
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00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:09,736
yet somehow my ex-wife owns half of it.
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00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,113
Mm, not bitter at all. Good for you.
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00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:15,408
We got baseball over here
and got football right there
25
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,452
and then hunting and
fishing in the back.
26
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Oh, yeah.
27
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,372
And this hockey puck has been here
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since Jimmy Carter was president.
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You'd think a sport with
a bunch of white boys
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00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:29,172
beating each other up would
be more popular in Texas.
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- (CHUCKLES)
- So, you want to head out?
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Oh, my grandson's been
wanting some weights.
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Sheldon?
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00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:40,183
Hell, can't he just lift
a soup can or something?
35
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,811
The other grandson. The
pretty one with the hair.
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00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,979
Ah. All right. Well, send him by.
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00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:47,065
We'll give him the family
and friends discount.
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00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,525
How big a discount?
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00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:52,529
Well, uh, depends on, uh,
how much fun we have tonight.
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00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,782
Are you putting a
price on my affections?
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00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,492
Yeah, kinda.
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00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,035
You're gonna regret it.
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I'm really fun.
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(CHUCKLING)
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CRUSHER: ...fever down, try
to let the body heal itself.
46
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,586
- PICARD: Keep me advised. Picard out.
- (PHONE RINGS)
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Captain, the neutrino...
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Cooper residence.
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- Hello, Sheldon.
- Dr. Sturgis.
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00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,971
I'd love to talk to you,
but I'm right in the middle
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00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,682
of Star Trek: The NextGeneration. It's a good one.
52
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:21,891
Geordi goes missing,
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00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:24,435
but Wesley Crusher has a plan
to use neutrinos to locate him,
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00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,855
since they'd be visible
to Geordi's visor.
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00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,524
I was actually calling
to speak to your father.
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00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,735
But I'm glad you're having
fun with your friends.
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00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,320
Hang on. I'll go get him.
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00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,615
Dad! Phone call!
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ADULT SHELDON: Even thoughDr. Sturgis was confused,
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00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:42,912
one day, Wesley Crusherreally would be my friend.
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Neat, huh?
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(GRUNTS)
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Hey, John.
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00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,294
George. John Sturgis here.
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That's why I said "Hey, John."
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00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,297
Great.
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00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:56,301
I was wondering if we could
go out for a beer and talk.
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00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,386
Oh. Well, aren't we talking right now?
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00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,597
Yes, but we had so much fun last time,
70
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,307
I thought we could do it again.
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00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,267
Gee, John, last time, you got drunk
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00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,436
and threw up in my glove compartment.
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00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,104
Did I? (LAUGHS)
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00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,899
Well, while I don't remember
any of that happening,
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00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,401
I promise to be on my best behavior.
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00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,320
And the drinks are on me.
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Na zdrowie!
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00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:22,202
That's, uh, "to our health" in Russian.
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(QUIETLY): This is not
the place to talk Russian.
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00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,706
So, what's up?
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00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:30,668
Well, Sheldon has been
doing extraordinarily well
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00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,420
in his college physics class.
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00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,631
I know. He made me put
his test up on the fridge,
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00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,425
next to Missy's drawing
of her hand as a turkey.
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00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:42,680
So, uh, the university has taken
notice of Sheldon's talents,
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00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,558
and they would very much like him
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00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,144
to enroll full-time.
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00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,980
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, we've
been down this road, John.
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00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,690
Sheldon's only ten.
90
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:56,152
Mary and I both have jobs.
We just can't make it work.
91
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,529
Well, that's why they
asked me to speak to you.
92
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,281
They're looking to sweeten the pot.
93
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,784
That's a gambling metaphor.
94
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,620
A lesser-known version
is "sweeten the kitty."
95
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,331
I assume the difference is regional,
96
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,500
but I'm no etymologist.
97
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,127
This beer is yummy. Mmm!
98
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:15,421
So, what are they offering, John?
99
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,423
They thought it would
be easier on the family
100
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,176
if you were employed at the university.
101
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,303
- Really?
- Yes, that way,
102
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:23,721
you could drive Sheldon
103
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:26,391
and keep an eye on him while he's there.
104
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,850
But I'm a football coach.
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00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,227
Does the school even have a team?
106
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,436
Oh, yes, they do.
107
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,896
They-they don't win much,
108
00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:35,358
but they lead the league in injuries.
109
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:38,820
Well, guess that's a thing.
110
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,405
Okay.
111
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:43,825
Anyway, I believe
they're willing to, uh,
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00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:48,288
exceed your current salary
by a substantial amount.
113
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,622
Is that so?
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00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:50,957
Yes.
115
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,167
They thought it would incentivize you.
116
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,962
Well, John, they're not wrong.
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00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,798
- Excellent!
- (CHUCKLES)
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(QUIETLY): Na zdrowie.
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00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,219
What the hell. (QUIETLY): Na zdrowie.
120
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,764
How was Dr. Sturgis?
121
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,766
He's fine.
122
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,059
What did you two talk about?
123
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,228
I don't know. S-Stuff.
124
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,688
Science stuff?
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00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,565
No. Just regular stuff.
126
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,901
Ooh, I bet he talked about
me. What did he say about me?
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00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,695
Sheldon, everything isn't about you.
128
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,739
Okay? Go to your room.
129
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,365
Yes, sir.
130
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,035
What'd y'all talk about?
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00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,328
Sheldon.
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00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,996
Oh.
133
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,414
(SIGHS)
134
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:34,834
The university wants to
offer me a coaching job
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00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,462
if it'll help to get Sheldon
to go there full-time.
136
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,422
Oh.
137
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,174
We talked about this.
138
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,217
- College might be too much for him.
- I know.
139
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,552
That's why I'd be there, you know,
140
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,137
to help him over the rough spots.
141
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,722
I don't know, George.
142
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,266
Can't hurt to see what the offer is.
143
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,435
There are more important
things than money.
144
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:56,647
That's cute. You should
knit that on a pillow.
145
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:59,567
Maybe I'll push that
pillow over your face.
146
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:13,164
I'm Georgie, Connie Tucker's grandson.
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00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,290
Oh, yeah.
148
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,750
The hair. Very pretty.
149
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,419
Hang on a second. I got to
deal with this guy, okay?
150
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,338
- Take your time.
- So,
151
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,340
here you go. Here's the
rod you were asking about.
152
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,716
Now, that's a good choice.
153
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,051
- Very solid.
- Mm. Mm.
154
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,761
And then I just brought this one along
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00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,347
to show you, just in
case, later, you know,
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00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,224
you get serious about fishing.
157
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,726
Well... I'm pretty serious.
158
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:37,230
Yeah. You know, I-I had that feeling.
159
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,856
Wh-What's your name?
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00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:39,899
- Jim.
- Jim.
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00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,443
Well, Jim, this rod is a little pricey.
162
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,861
It's double the cost of that one,
163
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,446
but it's worth every penny.
164
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,740
And, uh, it's the rod I use.
165
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,534
Well, then that's the one I want.
166
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,035
Well, that's a good choice.
167
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,245
There you go.
168
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,497
Now, with a rod like this,
you want to use live bait,
169
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,790
and we don't carry that here.
170
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:59,752
But down the street is
Ed's Bait and Tackle Shop.
171
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,755
And if you tell him Dale sent
you, he'll take care of you.
172
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,090
I appreciate that.
173
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,300
So, take her over there to Bernice,
174
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,262
- and she'll ring you up.
- Thanks.
175
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,513
DALE: Hey.
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00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,473
And-and bring me back some catfish.
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00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,142
JIM: You bet.
178
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,268
Yeah.
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00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:16,519
You're a really good salesman.
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00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,728
Well, yeah. Not only that,
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00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:20,481
I get a kickback on
everybody I send down to Ed's.
182
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,983
You're awesome.
183
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,526
I know.
184
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,947
Ooh. 35 cents off Goober.
185
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,073
What's Goober?
186
00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,908
Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.
187
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,077
Think about how much time we'd save.
188
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,162
GEORGE JR.: Hey.
189
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,204
Dale give you a good price
190
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,622
on those weights?
191
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,416
Better. He gave me a job.
192
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,751
Damn. He did have fun
last night. (CHUCKLES)
193
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,795
- What kind of job?
- Salesman.
194
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,339
(GASPS) Well, congratulations.
195
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:46,632
I'm gonna learn a lot from him.
196
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,342
He's real good at getting
people to spend money
197
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,594
on stuff they don't need.
198
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:52,763
Well, I don't know if I
like the sound of that.
199
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,600
You know what I like
the sound of? Ka-ching.
200
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,648
(CHUCKLES) Well, thank you.
201
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,318
That's a very generous offer.
202
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,320
Let me discuss it with my family,
203
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,363
and I'll get back to you.
204
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,949
Bye.
205
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,951
What was that about?
206
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,620
Are you my family?
207
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,996
I don't know.
208
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,790
I like to think of
myself as your work wife.
209
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:25,630
So, that's why I wanted
to give you a heads-up.
210
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,007
I got to tell you, George,
this is a real blow.
211
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,135
Appreciate it. But, uh,
yeah, you'll find someone.
212
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,471
There's a lot of good coaches out there.
213
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,765
Not you. Sheldon.
214
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,558
Sheldon?
215
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:40,478
I thought everyone would be
thrilled for him to leave.
216
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,854
(CHUCKLES) Don't get me wrong,
217
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,482
your kid is a royal pain in the ass.
218
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,984
I have a problem with
this permission slip.
219
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,611
You didn't cut them in half evenly.
220
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,197
Mine has two holes, and
Derek here just has one.
221
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,406
Then trade.
222
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,867
Then Derek will have two
holes, and mine will have one.
223
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,286
You're not going to
the water park anyway!
224
00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:00,873
However, his state test
scores are so extraordinary,
225
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,251
the school actually gets
more funding because of it.
226
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,377
You serious?
227
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:07,880
Serious as the fire alarms,
which are now functional.
228
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,301
And always were, if anyone asks.
229
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:15,596
(SIGHS) I don't know
what to tell you, Tom.
230
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,474
(STAMMERS) They're offering
me a pretty nice raise.
231
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,851
Well, I can't afford to lose Sheldon,
232
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:24,063
so what's it gonna take
to keep y'all here, George?
233
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,274
(CLEARS THROAT)
234
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,109
Thank you.
235
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:31,362
I will discuss it with my
family and get back to you.
236
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,572
Good.
237
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,248
Bit of a kerfuffle at the church today.
238
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,458
Pastor Jeff promised Patricia Richards
239
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,794
she could sing "How
Great Thou Art" on Sunday,
240
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:49,005
but I had already
printed in the bulletin
241
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,215
that Karen Baker was gonna sing it.
242
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,843
They agreed to a duet, but it was
243
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,469
touch and go.
244
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,430
- Mm.
- What's a kerfuffle?
245
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,973
Not that.
246
00:09:58,973 --> 00:09:59,974
Hey.
247
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,018
Hey. How was your first day at work?
248
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,019
Amazing.
249
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,438
I made $38 on commissions alone.
250
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,356
Well, good for you.
251
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,941
What's for dinner?
252
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,109
Meatloaf.
253
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,445
Oh. I think I'm gonna go out to eat.
254
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,738
No, you are not.
255
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,531
We're having dinner as a family.
256
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:17,825
Yeah, but I got money now
and I can do what I want.
257
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,411
And what I want is a
chimichanga at Chi-Chi's.
258
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,121
I want a chimichanga from Chi-Chi's.
259
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,873
They do have a good margarita.
260
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,208
You are eating here. So are you.
261
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,544
I don't care what you do.
262
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:29,587
Later.
263
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,547
Georgie Cooper.
264
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,591
Do not walk out of that door.
265
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,759
Georgie!
266
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,719
That's a kerfuffle.
267
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,513
Missy, let this be a lesson to you.
268
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,891
The love of money is
the root of all evil.
269
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,100
GEORGE SR.: Hey!
270
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,685
You would not believe the wheelin'
271
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,270
and dealin' I did today.
272
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,688
I'm playing the high school
273
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,940
and the university against
each other. (LAUGHS)
274
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,901
Hey, what do you say
we go out to dinner?
275
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,152
Chi-Chi's is good.
276
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,363
Ooh, chimichangas.
277
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:03,162
I've asked you all here
because we got a situation.
278
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:07,416
George Cooper's considering
a job at a college and...
279
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,168
taking Sheldon with him.
280
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,253
- Yes!
- Is it far away?
281
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,381
- I hope it's far away.
- Maybe it's overseas.
282
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,257
- Ooh, like Fiji.
- PETERSEN: Hold your horses.
283
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:19,178
If Sheldon walks out that
door, our test scores drop hard.
284
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,806
That affects funding,
which affects your salaries.
285
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,892
Ugh. Well, how can we help?
286
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,770
Y'all need to make George
and Sheldon so happy here
287
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,355
they want to stay.
288
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,481
Oh, come on.
289
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,358
(SCOFFS) Isn't there
anything else we can do?
290
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,734
Yeah, Mr. Givens.
291
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,945
You could do a better job at
teaching the other students
292
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:40,408
so we don't rely on one boy
to pull up everyone's grades.
293
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:45,329
Fine. We'll be nice to Sheldon.
294
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,872
(SIGHS)
295
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,834
♪ I've been working for the big man ♪
296
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,586
♪ All the livelong day ♪
297
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:55,256
♪ I've been working for the big man ♪
298
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,925
- ♪ Just to wash my sins away. ♪
- (KNOCKING)
299
00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,802
Hey, Mary. What's up?
300
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,054
Can I speak with you
about a spiritual matter?
301
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,681
My sweet spot. Sit.
302
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:05,766
What's the buzz?
303
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,935
Tell me, what's a-happenin'? (CHUCKLES)
304
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,521
Jesus Christ Superstar.
305
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,647
It's a great show.
306
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,150
Well, um...
307
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,611
I'm concerned George and Georgie
308
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,030
might be succumbing to the sin of greed.
309
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,365
Ooh, that's a biggie.
310
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,451
Ever since Georgie started making money,
311
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,786
he's been very disrespectful.
312
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:28,748
Meanwhile, my husband's so busy
trying to land a better job,
313
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,292
he doesn't even care how
it might affect Sheldon.
314
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,626
I'm sorry to hear that.
315
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:35,463
In Luke 12:15, Jesus says, "Watch out.
316
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,257
Be on your guard against
all kinds of greed.
317
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,926
Life does not consist in an
abundance of possessions."
318
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,887
I know, but it seems
like the whole world
319
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,139
is sending the opposite message.
320
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,307
Don't I know it.
321
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,850
Just the other day, I was at the mall
322
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,602
and a toaster oven caught my eye.
323
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,937
Next thing you know, I
was in line to buy it,
324
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,231
and I realized I have a toaster
325
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,984
and I have an oven. What am I doing?
326
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,861
Turns out Satan doesn't just hide out
327
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,279
in honky-tonks and casinos.
328
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,615
Sometimes he's in the
appliance section of Sears.
329
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:06,911
Well, if it's everywhere,
how can we fight it?
330
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,913
We may not be able to control the world,
331
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,290
but we can control our homes.
332
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,292
It's up to us to create an environment
333
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,586
where the sin of greed
can find no purchase.
334
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,379
Is that what you've done in your home?
335
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,507
Well, I do make my toast vertically,
336
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,091
two slices at a time.
337
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:24,178
Take that, Satan. (CHUCKLES)
338
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,930
♪ ♪
339
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,352
Then Geordi goes missing,
but Wesley Crusher
340
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,687
has a plan to use
neutrinos to locate him,
341
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:36,023
since they'd be visible
to Geordi's visor.
342
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,066
Is that so?
343
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,192
It is.
344
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,527
I recorded the episode.
345
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,986
I'll show it to you tonight.
346
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,112
That's okay.
347
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:43,656
You did such a good job explaining it,
348
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,032
I feel like I saw it.
349
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,367
You're still seeing it.
350
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,161
What's this?
351
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,040
"Reserved for Coach Cooper."
352
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,458
(CHUCKLES)
353
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,168
Would you look at that. They gave me
354
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,837
a parking spot right by the door.
355
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,046
Why?
356
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,714
I guess they're starting to appreciate
357
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,258
my talents around here.
358
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,467
Why?
359
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,386
("MONEY (THAT'S WHAT I WANT)"
BY BARRETT STRONG PLAYING)
360
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,513
Oh! There's my man.
361
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,390
Where?
362
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,558
You, silly.
363
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:13,394
I'm neither a man, nor
silly, but all right.
364
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,980
(LAUGHS) You're so funny, Sheldon.
365
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,523
Oh, well, that I am.
366
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,443
These are the flyers for
the canned food drive.
367
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,320
And, Sheldon, you'll be happy to know,
368
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,239
I made sure they were cut perfectly,
369
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:29,076
so that each one has
exactly one and a half holes.
370
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,203
But mine has half a hole on the top,
371
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:34,206
and Derek's here has
half a hole on the bottom.
372
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,586
♪ The best things in life are free ♪
373
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,755
Ooh. (CHUCKLES) What do we have here?
374
00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:43,132
♪ But you can give them
to the birds and bees ♪
375
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,009
- Ooh.
- ♪ I need money ♪
376
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,177
♪ That's what I want ♪
377
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,429
♪ That's what I want ♪
378
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,972
♪ That's what I want... ♪
379
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,390
(SIGHS)
380
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,058
(CHUCKLING)
381
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,436
Hey, how come you get
to park by the door?
382
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:59,273
Don't bother me, Wayne. I'm sitting.
383
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,275
And you got a new chair, too?
384
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,985
(LAUGHING)
385
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,112
♪ But your love don't pay my bills... ♪
386
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:07,615
Are we going to watch
an educational film?
387
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,783
We're gonna watch Star Trek.
388
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,702
Star Trek in school?
389
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,870
Wowie Zowie.
390
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:16,373
- ♪ That's what I want ♪
- ♪ That's what I want... ♪
391
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:17,499
What's here?
392
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:19,001
♪ That's what I want... ♪
393
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,837
Ooh, a golden whistle.
394
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:24,256
What the hell is going on?
395
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,883
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
396
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,010
You wanted to see me?
397
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,721
When don't I want to see
you, Sheldon? Come in.
398
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:34,058
I have something I'd like to give you.
399
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,145
This is a key to the faculty restroom.
400
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,939
No students allowed.
401
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,607
One person at a time.
402
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,275
And unlike the other restrooms,
403
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,320
this one gets cleaned every night.
404
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,489
♪ But what it don't get, I can't use... ♪
405
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,573
Thank you.
406
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,325
(CHUCKLES) No, Sheldon.
407
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,493
Thank you.
408
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,161
You're welcome.
409
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,996
♪ That's what I want ♪
410
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:59,124
- ♪ That's what I want ♪
- ♪ That's what I want... ♪
411
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,334
It's all yours.
412
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:04,672
- ♪ That's what I want ♪
- ♪ Gimme money... ♪
413
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,008
(TV PLAYING QUIETLY)
414
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,264
I think this show is
teaching you bad lessons.
415
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,266
Don't worry. I'm a slow learner.
416
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:17,935
FEMALE VOICE (OVER TV): Fascinating.
417
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,607
Is that Goober? Where did you get that?
418
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,734
Georgie got it for me. He's rich now.
419
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,986
That is it!
420
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,738
I am taking this house
back from the devil.
421
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,450
Hey.
422
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,369
("IT'S A SIN" BY PET SHOP BOYS PLAYING)
423
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,704
ADULT SHELDON: I've been accused
424
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,039
of overreacting from time to time.
425
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,793
But perhaps it's hereditary,because look at my mommy go.
426
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,464
♪ It's a sin ♪
427
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,968
♪ It's a sin ♪
428
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,597
♪ Everything I've ever done ♪
429
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,391
♪ Everything I ever do ♪
430
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,601
♪ Every place I've ever been ♪
431
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,229
♪ Everywhere I'm going to ♪
432
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,814
♪ It's a sin ♪
433
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,235
♪ It's a sin ♪
434
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:12,322
♪ It's a, it's a ♪
435
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:13,824
- Aw.
- ♪ It's a sin. ♪
436
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,576
GEORGE SR.: What happened to all our stuff?
437
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,953
Mom went nuts and took everything away.
438
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,706
How am I supposed to watch
Professor Proton?
439
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,083
All my music and magazines are gone.
440
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,960
Where is your mother?
441
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,630
You want to explain yourself?
442
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,674
(SIGHS)
443
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:33,761
I am taking our house back
from the forces of evil.
444
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,596
What's evil about Black Sabbath?
445
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:36,722
You're not helping.
446
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,932
Greed has entered into your hearts,
447
00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,350
especially you two.
448
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,602
It has not.
449
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,103
Is that a gold whistle?
450
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,563
Huh? No.
451
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:47,024
It's... it's a gift.
452
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,193
Now, where's our stuff? We want it back.
453
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,360
I'm not telling.
454
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,321
Mary, don't make me ask again.
455
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,614
Or what?
456
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,450
What?
457
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,203
Your daughter lost her mind
and we want to watch TV.
458
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,371
But... Uh, Dale's coming over.
459
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,373
- Great.
- Love that guy.
460
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:09,254
Okay, we got a problem.
461
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,298
I don't know what kind of
462
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,425
religious gobbledygook
you're going through,
463
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,677
but it is starting to affect me.
464
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,806
- Your hands aren't clean in this.
- I beg your pardon.
465
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,475
Your new friend Dale
is encouraging Georgie
466
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,018
to be obsessed with money.
467
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,186
Your husband's no good at it.
468
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,854
You ought to be happy your son is.
469
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,981
George is no prize either.
470
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,567
Not worrying about
what's right for Sheldon.
471
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,820
Well, what do you
think is right for him?
472
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,321
Honestly?
473
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,573
(SIGHS) I don't know.
474
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,951
I know that he's bored in high school,
475
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,745
but he's just so young for college.
476
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,163
Well, it sounds like they're trying
477
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,040
to set George up there for him.
478
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,042
I know.
479
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:49,378
(SIGHS)
480
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,505
Maybe it's me.
481
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:55,342
Maybe I'm not ready
for my baby to grow up.
482
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,845
No mother ever is.
483
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,890
(SIGHS)
484
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,350
(SIGHS)
485
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,727
I just want to keep my family safe.
486
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,479
I know.
487
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,940
But at some point,
you got to let them go.
488
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,317
And then one day, if you're lucky,
489
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,153
they'll move across the street from you
490
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,029
and absolutely ruin your life.
491
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,118
Seriously, get those
people out of my house.
492
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,119
Okay.
493
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,121
ADULT SHELDON: Eventually,my mother relented
494
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:27,124
and returned our things witha few minor adjustments.
495
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,375
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV)
496
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,877
What's The Moosewood Gang?
497
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:34,089
They solve mysteries
while they learn about God.
498
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,340
Great.
499
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,427
ADULT SHELDON: Georgie got his music back.
500
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,470
♪ Jesus Christ ♪
501
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,806
♪ Superstar... ♪
502
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:45,434
What the hell is this?
503
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,894
ADULT SHELDON: And as for college,
504
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,520
my mother and father discussed it
505
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,898
and decided that ten was too young.
506
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:54,693
So I didn't start tillthe ripe old age of 11.
507
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,196
- In the meantime...
- (TOILET FLUSHES)
508
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:02,451
...I had the key to one sweet bathroom.
509
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:07,372
♪ Superstar. ♪
510
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,462
WOMAN (OVER P.A.): And we have
brand-new designs on awesome gifts.
511
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,048
And don't forget about
our layaway options.
512
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,550
♪ ♪
513
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,345
Lord, give me strength.
514
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,526
I'm sorry, God. I'm weak.
515
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:41,698
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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