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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:04,796 - Here we go. - ADULT SHELDON: For many kids, 2 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:07,757 Christmas morning wasthe most exciting day of the year. 3 00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:10,802 That's only because most kids don't know the joy 4 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,722 of getting their college midterms back. 5 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:16,933 It also didn't hurt that Dr. Sturgis looked like an elf. 6 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,727 ("DECK THE HALLS" PLAYING) 7 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:21,438 Nice work, Sheldon. 8 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,189 Now, 9 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:26,818 you'll notice that your grades are lower than expected. 10 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,196 That's because Sheldon did so well, 11 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,740 he broke the curve, 12 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:35,201 turning your A's and B's into B's and C's. 13 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,041 They don't seem happy about it. 14 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,626 Maybe you can give them candy. 15 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,003 (BELLS JINGLING) 16 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,881 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 17 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,759 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 18 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,511 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 19 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:56,556 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 20 00:00:56,556 --> 00:01:02,937 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 21 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:06,441 DALE: Okay. This is where I spend all my time, 22 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:09,736 yet somehow my ex-wife owns half of it. 23 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,113 Mm, not bitter at all. Good for you. 24 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:15,408 We got baseball over here and got football right there 25 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,452 and then hunting and fishing in the back. 26 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,120 Oh, yeah. 27 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,372 And this hockey puck has been here 28 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,416 since Jimmy Carter was president. 29 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,502 You'd think a sport with a bunch of white boys 30 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:29,172 beating each other up would be more popular in Texas. 31 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,300 - (CHUCKLES) - So, you want to head out? 32 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:35,512 Oh, my grandson's been wanting some weights. 33 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,013 Sheldon? 34 00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:40,183 Hell, can't he just lift a soup can or something? 35 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,811 The other grandson. The pretty one with the hair. 36 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,979 Ah. All right. Well, send him by. 37 00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:47,065 We'll give him the family and friends discount. 38 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,525 How big a discount? 39 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:52,529 Well, uh, depends on, uh, how much fun we have tonight. 40 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,782 Are you putting a price on my affections? 41 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,492 Yeah, kinda. 42 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,035 You're gonna regret it. 43 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,703 I'm really fun. 44 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:03,373 (CHUCKLING) 45 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:06,000 CRUSHER: ...fever down, try to let the body heal itself. 46 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,586 - PICARD: Keep me advised. Picard out. - (PHONE RINGS) 47 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,171 Captain, the neutrino... 48 00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,883 Cooper residence. 49 00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:16,010 - Hello, Sheldon. - Dr. Sturgis. 50 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,971 I'd love to talk to you, but I'm right in the middle 51 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,682 of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a good one. 52 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:21,891 Geordi goes missing, 53 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:24,435 but Wesley Crusher has a plan to use neutrinos to locate him, 54 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,855 since they'd be visible to Geordi's visor. 55 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,524 I was actually calling to speak to your father. 56 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,735 But I'm glad you're having fun with your friends. 57 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,320 Hang on. I'll go get him. 58 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,615 Dad! Phone call! 59 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,784 ADULT SHELDON: Even though Dr. Sturgis was confused, 60 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:42,912 one day, Wesley Crusher really would be my friend. 61 00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:44,581 Neat, huh? 62 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,623 (GRUNTS) 63 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,083 Hey, John. 64 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,294 George. John Sturgis here. 65 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,212 That's why I said "Hey, John." 66 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,297 Great. 67 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:56,301 I was wondering if we could go out for a beer and talk. 68 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,386 Oh. Well, aren't we talking right now? 69 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,597 Yes, but we had so much fun last time, 70 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,307 I thought we could do it again. 71 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,267 Gee, John, last time, you got drunk 72 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,436 and threw up in my glove compartment. 73 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,104 Did I? (LAUGHS) 74 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,899 Well, while I don't remember any of that happening, 75 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,401 I promise to be on my best behavior. 76 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,320 And the drinks are on me. 77 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,280 Na zdrowie! 78 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:22,202 That's, uh, "to our health" in Russian. 79 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,495 (QUIETLY): This is not the place to talk Russian. 80 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,706 So, what's up? 81 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:30,668 Well, Sheldon has been doing extraordinarily well 82 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,420 in his college physics class. 83 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,631 I know. He made me put his test up on the fridge, 84 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,425 next to Missy's drawing of her hand as a turkey. 85 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:42,680 So, uh, the university has taken notice of Sheldon's talents, 86 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,558 and they would very much like him 87 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,144 to enroll full-time. 88 00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,980 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, we've been down this road, John. 89 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,690 Sheldon's only ten. 90 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:56,152 Mary and I both have jobs. We just can't make it work. 91 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,529 Well, that's why they asked me to speak to you. 92 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,281 They're looking to sweeten the pot. 93 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,784 That's a gambling metaphor. 94 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,620 A lesser-known version is "sweeten the kitty." 95 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,331 I assume the difference is regional, 96 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,500 but I'm no etymologist. 97 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,127 This beer is yummy. Mmm! 98 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:15,421 So, what are they offering, John? 99 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,423 They thought it would be easier on the family 100 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,176 if you were employed at the university. 101 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,303 - Really? - Yes, that way, 102 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:23,721 you could drive Sheldon 103 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:26,391 and keep an eye on him while he's there. 104 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,850 But I'm a football coach. 105 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,227 Does the school even have a team? 106 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,436 Oh, yes, they do. 107 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,896 They-they don't win much, 108 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:35,358 but they lead the league in injuries. 109 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:38,820 Well, guess that's a thing. 110 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,405 Okay. 111 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:43,825 Anyway, I believe they're willing to, uh, 112 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:48,288 exceed your current salary by a substantial amount. 113 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,622 Is that so? 114 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:50,957 Yes. 115 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,167 They thought it would incentivize you. 116 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,962 Well, John, they're not wrong. 117 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,798 - Excellent! - (CHUCKLES) 118 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,883 (QUIETLY): Na zdrowie. 119 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,219 What the hell. (QUIETLY): Na zdrowie. 120 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,764 How was Dr. Sturgis? 121 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,766 He's fine. 122 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,059 What did you two talk about? 123 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,228 I don't know. S-Stuff. 124 00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,688 Science stuff? 125 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,565 No. Just regular stuff. 126 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,901 Ooh, I bet he talked about me. What did he say about me? 127 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,695 Sheldon, everything isn't about you. 128 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,739 Okay? Go to your room. 129 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,365 Yes, sir. 130 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,035 What'd y'all talk about? 131 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,328 Sheldon. 132 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,996 Oh. 133 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,414 (SIGHS) 134 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:34,834 The university wants to offer me a coaching job 135 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,462 if it'll help to get Sheldon to go there full-time. 136 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,422 Oh. 137 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,174 We talked about this. 138 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,217 - College might be too much for him. - I know. 139 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,552 That's why I'd be there, you know, 140 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,137 to help him over the rough spots. 141 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,722 I don't know, George. 142 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,266 Can't hurt to see what the offer is. 143 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,435 There are more important things than money. 144 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:56,647 That's cute. You should knit that on a pillow. 145 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:59,567 Maybe I'll push that pillow over your face. 146 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:13,164 I'm Georgie, Connie Tucker's grandson. 147 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,290 Oh, yeah. 148 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,750 The hair. Very pretty. 149 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,419 Hang on a second. I got to deal with this guy, okay? 150 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,338 - Take your time. - So, 151 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,340 here you go. Here's the rod you were asking about. 152 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,716 Now, that's a good choice. 153 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,051 - Very solid. - Mm. Mm. 154 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,761 And then I just brought this one along 155 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,347 to show you, just in case, later, you know, 156 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,224 you get serious about fishing. 157 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,726 Well... I'm pretty serious. 158 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:37,230 Yeah. You know, I-I had that feeling. 159 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,856 Wh-What's your name? 160 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:39,899 - Jim. - Jim. 161 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,443 Well, Jim, this rod is a little pricey. 162 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,861 It's double the cost of that one, 163 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,446 but it's worth every penny. 164 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,740 And, uh, it's the rod I use. 165 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,534 Well, then that's the one I want. 166 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,035 Well, that's a good choice. 167 00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,245 There you go. 168 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,497 Now, with a rod like this, you want to use live bait, 169 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,790 and we don't carry that here. 170 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:59,752 But down the street is Ed's Bait and Tackle Shop. 171 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,755 And if you tell him Dale sent you, he'll take care of you. 172 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,090 I appreciate that. 173 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,300 So, take her over there to Bernice, 174 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,262 - and she'll ring you up. - Thanks. 175 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,513 DALE: Hey. 176 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,473 And-and bring me back some catfish. 177 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,142 JIM: You bet. 178 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,268 Yeah. 179 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:16,519 You're a really good salesman. 180 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,728 Well, yeah. Not only that, 181 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:20,481 I get a kickback on everybody I send down to Ed's. 182 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,983 You're awesome. 183 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,526 I know. 184 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,947 Ooh. 35 cents off Goober. 185 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,073 What's Goober? 186 00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,908 Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. 187 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,077 Think about how much time we'd save. 188 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,162 GEORGE JR.: Hey. 189 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,204 Dale give you a good price 190 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,622 on those weights? 191 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,416 Better. He gave me a job. 192 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,751 Damn. He did have fun last night. (CHUCKLES) 193 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,795 - What kind of job? - Salesman. 194 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,339 (GASPS) Well, congratulations. 195 00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:46,632 I'm gonna learn a lot from him. 196 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,342 He's real good at getting people to spend money 197 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,594 on stuff they don't need. 198 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:52,763 Well, I don't know if I like the sound of that. 199 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,600 You know what I like the sound of? Ka-ching. 200 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,648 (CHUCKLES) Well, thank you. 201 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,318 That's a very generous offer. 202 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,320 Let me discuss it with my family, 203 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,363 and I'll get back to you. 204 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,949 Bye. 205 00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,951 What was that about? 206 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,620 Are you my family? 207 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,996 I don't know. 208 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,790 I like to think of myself as your work wife. 209 00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:25,630 So, that's why I wanted to give you a heads-up. 210 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,007 I got to tell you, George, this is a real blow. 211 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,135 Appreciate it. But, uh, yeah, you'll find someone. 212 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,471 There's a lot of good coaches out there. 213 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,765 Not you. Sheldon. 214 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,558 Sheldon? 215 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:40,478 I thought everyone would be thrilled for him to leave. 216 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,854 (CHUCKLES) Don't get me wrong, 217 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,482 your kid is a royal pain in the ass. 218 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,984 I have a problem with this permission slip. 219 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,611 You didn't cut them in half evenly. 220 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,197 Mine has two holes, and Derek here just has one. 221 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,406 Then trade. 222 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,867 Then Derek will have two holes, and mine will have one. 223 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,286 You're not going to the water park anyway! 224 00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:00,873 However, his state test scores are so extraordinary, 225 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,251 the school actually gets more funding because of it. 226 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,377 You serious? 227 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:07,880 Serious as the fire alarms, which are now functional. 228 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,301 And always were, if anyone asks. 229 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:15,596 (SIGHS) I don't know what to tell you, Tom. 230 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,474 (STAMMERS) They're offering me a pretty nice raise. 231 00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,851 Well, I can't afford to lose Sheldon, 232 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:24,063 so what's it gonna take to keep y'all here, George? 233 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,274 (CLEARS THROAT) 234 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,109 Thank you. 235 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:31,362 I will discuss it with my family and get back to you. 236 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,572 Good. 237 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,248 Bit of a kerfuffle at the church today. 238 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,458 Pastor Jeff promised Patricia Richards 239 00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,794 she could sing "How Great Thou Art" on Sunday, 240 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:49,005 but I had already printed in the bulletin 241 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,215 that Karen Baker was gonna sing it. 242 00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,843 They agreed to a duet, but it was 243 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,469 touch and go. 244 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,430 - Mm. - What's a kerfuffle? 245 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,973 Not that. 246 00:09:58,973 --> 00:09:59,974 Hey. 247 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,018 Hey. How was your first day at work? 248 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,019 Amazing. 249 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,438 I made $38 on commissions alone. 250 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,356 Well, good for you. 251 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,941 What's for dinner? 252 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,109 Meatloaf. 253 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,445 Oh. I think I'm gonna go out to eat. 254 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,738 No, you are not. 255 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,531 We're having dinner as a family. 256 00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:17,825 Yeah, but I got money now and I can do what I want. 257 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,411 And what I want is a chimichanga at Chi-Chi's. 258 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,121 I want a chimichanga from Chi-Chi's. 259 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,873 They do have a good margarita. 260 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,208 You are eating here. So are you. 261 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,544 I don't care what you do. 262 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:29,587 Later. 263 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,547 Georgie Cooper. 264 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,591 Do not walk out of that door. 265 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,759 Georgie! 266 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,719 That's a kerfuffle. 267 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,513 Missy, let this be a lesson to you. 268 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,891 The love of money is the root of all evil. 269 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,100 GEORGE SR.: Hey! 270 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,685 You would not believe the wheelin' 271 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,270 and dealin' I did today. 272 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,688 I'm playing the high school 273 00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,940 and the university against each other. (LAUGHS) 274 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,901 Hey, what do you say we go out to dinner? 275 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,152 Chi-Chi's is good. 276 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,363 Ooh, chimichangas. 277 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:03,162 I've asked you all here because we got a situation. 278 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:07,416 George Cooper's considering a job at a college and... 279 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,168 taking Sheldon with him. 280 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,253 - Yes! - Is it far away? 281 00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,381 - I hope it's far away. - Maybe it's overseas. 282 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,257 - Ooh, like Fiji. - PETERSEN: Hold your horses. 283 00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:19,178 If Sheldon walks out that door, our test scores drop hard. 284 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,806 That affects funding, which affects your salaries. 285 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,892 Ugh. Well, how can we help? 286 00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,770 Y'all need to make George and Sheldon so happy here 287 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,355 they want to stay. 288 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,481 Oh, come on. 289 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,358 (SCOFFS) Isn't there anything else we can do? 290 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,734 Yeah, Mr. Givens. 291 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,945 You could do a better job at teaching the other students 292 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:40,408 so we don't rely on one boy to pull up everyone's grades. 293 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:45,329 Fine. We'll be nice to Sheldon. 294 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,872 (SIGHS) 295 00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,834 ♪ I've been working for the big man ♪ 296 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,586 ♪ All the livelong day ♪ 297 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:55,256 ♪ I've been working for the big man ♪ 298 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,925 - ♪ Just to wash my sins away. ♪ - (KNOCKING) 299 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,802 Hey, Mary. What's up? 300 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,054 Can I speak with you about a spiritual matter? 301 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,681 My sweet spot. Sit. 302 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:05,766 What's the buzz? 303 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,935 Tell me, what's a-happenin'? (CHUCKLES) 304 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,521 Jesus Christ Superstar. 305 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,647 It's a great show. 306 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,150 Well, um... 307 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,611 I'm concerned George and Georgie 308 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,030 might be succumbing to the sin of greed. 309 00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,365 Ooh, that's a biggie. 310 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,451 Ever since Georgie started making money, 311 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,786 he's been very disrespectful. 312 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:28,748 Meanwhile, my husband's so busy trying to land a better job, 313 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,292 he doesn't even care how it might affect Sheldon. 314 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,626 I'm sorry to hear that. 315 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:35,463 In Luke 12:15, Jesus says, "Watch out. 316 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,257 Be on your guard against all kinds of greed. 317 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,926 Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." 318 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,887 I know, but it seems like the whole world 319 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,139 is sending the opposite message. 320 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,307 Don't I know it. 321 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,850 Just the other day, I was at the mall 322 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,602 and a toaster oven caught my eye. 323 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,937 Next thing you know, I was in line to buy it, 324 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,231 and I realized I have a toaster 325 00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,984 and I have an oven. What am I doing? 326 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,861 Turns out Satan doesn't just hide out 327 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,279 in honky-tonks and casinos. 328 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,615 Sometimes he's in the appliance section of Sears. 329 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:06,911 Well, if it's everywhere, how can we fight it? 330 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,913 We may not be able to control the world, 331 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,290 but we can control our homes. 332 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,292 It's up to us to create an environment 333 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,586 where the sin of greed can find no purchase. 334 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,379 Is that what you've done in your home? 335 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,507 Well, I do make my toast vertically, 336 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,091 two slices at a time. 337 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:24,178 Take that, Satan. (CHUCKLES) 338 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,930 ♪ ♪ 339 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,352 Then Geordi goes missing, but Wesley Crusher 340 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,687 has a plan to use neutrinos to locate him, 341 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:36,023 since they'd be visible to Geordi's visor. 342 00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,066 Is that so? 343 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,192 It is. 344 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,527 I recorded the episode. 345 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,986 I'll show it to you tonight. 346 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,112 That's okay. 347 00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:43,656 You did such a good job explaining it, 348 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,032 I feel like I saw it. 349 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,367 You're still seeing it. 350 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,161 What's this? 351 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,040 "Reserved for Coach Cooper." 352 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,458 (CHUCKLES) 353 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,168 Would you look at that. They gave me 354 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,837 a parking spot right by the door. 355 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,046 Why? 356 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,714 I guess they're starting to appreciate 357 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,258 my talents around here. 358 00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,467 Why? 359 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,386 ("MONEY (THAT'S WHAT I WANT)" BY BARRETT STRONG PLAYING) 360 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,513 Oh! There's my man. 361 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,390 Where? 362 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,558 You, silly. 363 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:13,394 I'm neither a man, nor silly, but all right. 364 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,980 (LAUGHS) You're so funny, Sheldon. 365 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,523 Oh, well, that I am. 366 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,443 These are the flyers for the canned food drive. 367 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,320 And, Sheldon, you'll be happy to know, 368 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,239 I made sure they were cut perfectly, 369 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:29,076 so that each one has exactly one and a half holes. 370 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,203 But mine has half a hole on the top, 371 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:34,206 and Derek's here has half a hole on the bottom. 372 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,586 ♪ The best things in life are free ♪ 373 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,755 Ooh. (CHUCKLES) What do we have here? 374 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:43,132 ♪ But you can give them to the birds and bees ♪ 375 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,009 - Ooh. - ♪ I need money ♪ 376 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,177 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 377 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,429 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 378 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,972 ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 379 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,390 (SIGHS) 380 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,058 (CHUCKLING) 381 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,436 Hey, how come you get to park by the door? 382 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:59,273 Don't bother me, Wayne. I'm sitting. 383 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,275 And you got a new chair, too? 384 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,985 (LAUGHING) 385 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,112 ♪ But your love don't pay my bills... ♪ 386 00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:07,615 Are we going to watch an educational film? 387 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,783 We're gonna watch Star Trek. 388 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,702 Star Trek in school? 389 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,870 Wowie Zowie. 390 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:16,373 - ♪ That's what I want ♪ - ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 391 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:17,499 What's here? 392 00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:19,001 ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 393 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,837 Ooh, a golden whistle. 394 00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:24,256 What the hell is going on? 395 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,883 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 396 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,010 You wanted to see me? 397 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,721 When don't I want to see you, Sheldon? Come in. 398 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:34,058 I have something I'd like to give you. 399 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,145 This is a key to the faculty restroom. 400 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,939 No students allowed. 401 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,607 One person at a time. 402 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,275 And unlike the other restrooms, 403 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,320 this one gets cleaned every night. 404 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,489 ♪ But what it don't get, I can't use... ♪ 405 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,573 Thank you. 406 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,325 (CHUCKLES) No, Sheldon. 407 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,493 Thank you. 408 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,161 You're welcome. 409 00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,996 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 410 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:59,124 - ♪ That's what I want ♪ - ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 411 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,334 It's all yours. 412 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:04,672 - ♪ That's what I want ♪ - ♪ Gimme money... ♪ 413 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,008 (TV PLAYING QUIETLY) 414 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,264 I think this show is teaching you bad lessons. 415 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,266 Don't worry. I'm a slow learner. 416 00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:17,935 FEMALE VOICE (OVER TV): Fascinating. 417 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,607 Is that Goober? Where did you get that? 418 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,734 Georgie got it for me. He's rich now. 419 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,986 That is it! 420 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,738 I am taking this house back from the devil. 421 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,450 Hey. 422 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,369 ("IT'S A SIN" BY PET SHOP BOYS PLAYING) 423 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,704 ADULT SHELDON: I've been accused 424 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,039 of overreacting from time to time. 425 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,793 But perhaps it's hereditary, because look at my mommy go. 426 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,464 ♪ It's a sin ♪ 427 00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,968 ♪ It's a sin ♪ 428 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,597 ♪ Everything I've ever done ♪ 429 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,391 ♪ Everything I ever do ♪ 430 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,601 ♪ Every place I've ever been ♪ 431 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,229 ♪ Everywhere I'm going to ♪ 432 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,814 ♪ It's a sin ♪ 433 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,235 ♪ It's a sin ♪ 434 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:12,322 ♪ It's a, it's a ♪ 435 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:13,824 - Aw. - ♪ It's a sin. ♪ 436 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,576 GEORGE SR.: What happened to all our stuff? 437 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,953 Mom went nuts and took everything away. 438 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,706 How am I supposed to watch Professor Proton? 439 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,083 All my music and magazines are gone. 440 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,960 Where is your mother? 441 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,630 You want to explain yourself? 442 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,674 (SIGHS) 443 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:33,761 I am taking our house back from the forces of evil. 444 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,596 What's evil about Black Sabbath? 445 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:36,722 You're not helping. 446 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,932 Greed has entered into your hearts, 447 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,350 especially you two. 448 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,602 It has not. 449 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,103 Is that a gold whistle? 450 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,563 Huh? No. 451 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:47,024 It's... it's a gift. 452 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,193 Now, where's our stuff? We want it back. 453 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,360 I'm not telling. 454 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,321 Mary, don't make me ask again. 455 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,614 Or what? 456 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,450 What? 457 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,203 Your daughter lost her mind and we want to watch TV. 458 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,371 But... Uh, Dale's coming over. 459 00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,373 - Great. - Love that guy. 460 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:09,254 Okay, we got a problem. 461 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,298 I don't know what kind of 462 00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,425 religious gobbledygook you're going through, 463 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,677 but it is starting to affect me. 464 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,806 - Your hands aren't clean in this. - I beg your pardon. 465 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,475 Your new friend Dale is encouraging Georgie 466 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,018 to be obsessed with money. 467 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,186 Your husband's no good at it. 468 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,854 You ought to be happy your son is. 469 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,981 George is no prize either. 470 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,567 Not worrying about what's right for Sheldon. 471 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,820 Well, what do you think is right for him? 472 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,321 Honestly? 473 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,573 (SIGHS) I don't know. 474 00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,951 I know that he's bored in high school, 475 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,745 but he's just so young for college. 476 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,163 Well, it sounds like they're trying 477 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,040 to set George up there for him. 478 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,042 I know. 479 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:49,378 (SIGHS) 480 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,505 Maybe it's me. 481 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:55,342 Maybe I'm not ready for my baby to grow up. 482 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,845 No mother ever is. 483 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,890 (SIGHS) 484 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,350 (SIGHS) 485 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,727 I just want to keep my family safe. 486 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,479 I know. 487 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,940 But at some point, you got to let them go. 488 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,317 And then one day, if you're lucky, 489 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,153 they'll move across the street from you 490 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,029 and absolutely ruin your life. 491 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,118 Seriously, get those people out of my house. 492 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,119 Okay. 493 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,121 ADULT SHELDON: Eventually, my mother relented 494 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:27,124 and returned our things with a few minor adjustments. 495 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,375 (MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) 496 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,877 What's The Moosewood Gang? 497 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:34,089 They solve mysteries while they learn about God. 498 00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,340 Great. 499 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,427 ADULT SHELDON: Georgie got his music back. 500 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,470 ♪ Jesus Christ ♪ 501 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,806 ♪ Superstar... ♪ 502 00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:45,434 What the hell is this? 503 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,894 ADULT SHELDON: And as for college, 504 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,520 my mother and father discussed it 505 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,898 and decided that ten was too young. 506 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:54,693 So I didn't start till the ripe old age of 11. 507 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,196 - In the meantime... - (TOILET FLUSHES) 508 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:02,451 ...I had the key to one sweet bathroom. 509 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:07,372 ♪ Superstar. ♪ 510 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,462 WOMAN (OVER P.A.): And we have brand-new designs on awesome gifts. 511 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,048 And don't forget about our layaway options. 512 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,550 ♪ ♪ 513 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,345 Lord, give me strength. 514 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,526 I'm sorry, God. I'm weak. 515 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:41,698 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 37131

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