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Your food.

Oh.

How was work?

Boring.

You?

I didn't waste time.

Left early.

What happened?

Have you seen my cat?

No.

I ruined this food.

If you see her let me know.

How do I fix this?

What are you doing?

Trying to start my book.

Am I disturbing you?

No.

Sorry for barging in on you like this.

What's up?

Me?

Not so good.

Not good at all.

My cat.

She'll show up.

I'm praying.

I didn't know it could hurt me like this.

Sorry.

I keep thinking about it.

I read somewhere once.

If you're thinking about someone.

It means that they're thinking about you.

What do you think?

I'm not sure.

Because I'm thinking about someone a lot.

And I don't think they're thinking about me at all.

If I had to guess.

I'd say I'd spent.

Five hundred hours thinking about him.

Four.

Drink, drink, drink....

That was the first time I ever saw him.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure at all.

It's really late I'm suppose to be home already.

But you know what?

I'll call you if I pass you on the way home.

Okay, later.

Hey.

Hey.

It seems you’re not too fond of drinking games.

Right?

I don't drink so they're not for me.

But you smoke.

This is harder to quit.

And why did you quit?

Quit what?

Drinking.

I was over doing it.

Don't we all?

Mine was different.

And can't seem to recover from hangovers nowadays.

Plus I need to focus for work.

True.

Where do you work?

In advertising.

Interesting.

Really?

Yeah.

Advertising.

Isn't it like.

Wait.

It's not what you're thinking.

Not the creative side.

Oh.

I work with those who lease billboard spaces.

That's still pretty cool.

Yeah.

Well I'm a real estate agent.

I lease homes, rent shops...

Occasionally sell properties.

In a way we're in the same line of work.

I see what you mean.

I can't say that I enjoy it.

I want to be a writer.

A novelist.

That's the dream.

That's not bad.

Not bad at all.

Anyways, you wouldn’t know of any properties that...

We could advertise on?

That's possible.

You know what.

I'll give you my card.

Because.

We should talk.

Leonard.

Or Leo.

Leonard.

I don't have mine on me.

No problem.

Just call or text that number.

I'll follow up.

Need to go.

My fiancé is waiting for me.

Later.

Hello, how are you?

It's me Mercy.

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm good

I was hoping we go grab lunch and talk some business.

Okay. What time?

You're funny.

How am I funny?

You can’t honestly believe any of that stuff is real?

Why not?

Because it’s like believing in Father Christmas.

Look at the time.

What's the time?

I need to leave.

Right away?

We've been here for about two hours.

That's true, look at the time.

I know it's gone quick for you.

But for me.

It’s been a very long and boring conversation.

I could just punch you right now.

What you on?

Well it's been boring talking to you too.

Lies.

I've been listening to you talk about video games.

Like you're a child.

Something my nephew has outgrown.

Okay.

How old is he?

Ten.

And he's more mature than you.

Can't expect a small child to pay for this.

So.

You're the child now.

I'm playing reverse psychology on you.

So it won't be said that.

I invited you out and let you pay.

No worries.

We'll split it.

Right?

We didn't talk any business.

That's not a big deal.

We can do that later.

It was then I started to imagine our future together.

I imagined sending him my manuscript.

What's all that cat stuff towards the end?

I have this housemate.

Who I'm living with. She has a cat.

One day the cat goes missing.

She'd spend entire days looking for it.

I don't know just thought I'd work it in.

It didn't really work for me.

The whole cat situation with my housemate.

Made me feel like I was a character in a Murakami novel.

I get it.

Your manuscript does have that.

How would I describe it?

That Norwegian Wood feel.

Maybe that's what's not working.

I wasn't sure if he was into books...

All I knew for sure was that I always imagined us talking about books together.

That's not all...

I also imagined him very strong and generous.

I also imagined him as a good father to our children...

A protector.

Someone that would hold me tight and cuddle me to asleep.

Well...

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Have ever tried using Juju?

Never.

No.

I don't do things like that.

Please.

Don't act like you don't know about this stuff.

How do you think I got my husband?

You lie.

You used Juju on him?

I did.

He was always telling me he wanted to marry someone else.

I had no choice.

I wasn't going to sit back and let that happen.

So how did you do it?

Would you like to try it?

You collect as much period blood as you can.

The more blood you get, the more potent the spell.

Store it well.

Then go collect some mortuary water.

The water they've used to wash dead bodies.

You'll use it to make a drink.

Stir the drink with your finger, even if it burns.

Wait a minute...

He doesn’t really want to see me again.

How am I going to give him a drink?

I don't know. You need to figure that out.

You'll find a way.

Welcome home.

I don't know why I started cheating...

I don't know where it all went wrong.

We met at a friend's place.

I didn't think much of her at first...

But as time went on.

She grew on me

And...

You know how it goes.

I don't.

But I'd like to be like you.

Nah.

I'm not so sure.

What happened?

Bro...

I went back.

I'm all alone here.

Come join me.

No...

I don't think it's a good idea for me to come meet you there.

Why is that?

You know why.

But I want to discuss business with you.

Are you sure?

I'm serious.

Okay then.

Put it in an email so I can see it.

I have to go...

Bye.

Hello?

You know what?

I'm stepping out.

Need to go somewhere.

Cover for me.

Will you take tea?

Sure.

Thank you.

It's hot.

Mercy.

This can't happen again.

You know I'm getting married soon.

I don't want to jeopardise anything.

You understand.

Later.

Good morning.

Hey, how are you?

I'm good my brother.

How about you?

I'm okay.

Awesome.

Could I get some?

There were times when I'd remember her.

Just for a fleeting moment.

Easy.

Thanks man

That enough?

Yes, it's fine.

Thanks.

Fleeting moments would turn into lots of minutes.

Those minutes.

They turned into hours.

Hours spent thinking of our future together.

I imagined getting home to eat the food she'd cooked.

I even imagined beating her at video games.

No

I'm the greatest.

It's like...

I'd thought about her for more than a thousand hours.

What's that? Stop it.

Mercy please.

Stop.

Mercy, Mercy.

Mercy stop.

Mercy I'm...

Mercy.

Mercy stop.

Mercy.

Mercy.

Who is Mercy?

Who is this Mercy you call out every night?

You said what?

I said who's Mercy?.

I can't sleep.

Every night is Mercy Mercy Mercy.

What kind of madness is this?

What you talking about?

Are you sure this girl hasn't done Juju on you?

God forbid.

Blood of Jesus.

Please.

Juju can't work on me.

You don't know that.

Could be strong.

Think about it

She's driving me crazy.

Or is this love?

There's a difference?

Everything was alright at first.

We were getting along fine.

But I don't know.

We were two different people.

The one with trainspotters.

I'll read it.

You need to read it...

I want to know what you think.

Just give me some time.

He never read it.

In fact, he didn't like books at all.

I'm yet to read that book.

Maybe I should tell her that I don't read.

Have you read the book I gave you?

No.

Give me some time.

Can you lower the volume?

He wasn't interested in my writing.

Hold on.

He still hadn't outgrown playing video games.

We had different love languages.

I like intimacy.

I like to cuddle.

I can't sleep properly if you're touching me.

He liked public displays of affection.

I don't like it.

Is there any thing for a man to eat?

Huh?

He wanted me to cook for him after work.

What's my business with cooking?

We were not compatible...

I liked the idea I had of him in my head.

I fell in love with who I imagined him to be.

I don’t like the real Leonard.

Please.

I don't like him at all.

You’re back.

I thought you'd left me.

It didn't work out.

Sorry to hear that.

What of your cat?

I buried it.

You found it?

No.

I buried its belongings.

I just found its things.

Gathered them.

Those were the things I buried.

I buried them.

It's been too long. I had to let her go.

I'm still trying to get her out of my mind.

But it's not easy.

Mercy it's not easy at all. It's not easy.

It's not easy.

I'm sorry.

I know you just broke up with your boyfriend.

I think it’s much harder for him then it is for me.

He must have really liked you.

I think he did.

He liked me a lot.

It’s not been easy.

Mercy, It’s not been easy at all.

Sorry.

I'm sorry

I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry

Thank you.

This soup.

Is absolutely amazing.

The guy is an artist.

I swear.

Edet is an artist.

Why don't you consider him for your motherless babies charity event?

You know, let him cater.

The extra cash would definitely come in handy for him and his family.

It surely would.

His wife is...

Lazy.

Reports of people turning to Yams.

After picking cash from sidewalks.

Do we even have sidewalks in this country?

Ah, this country.

Greetings.

Mama.

I hail you mama.

Don't you know me?

Amos.

What's happening?

I hail you.

Should I come collect?

Where's the money?

I'll smack you.

Who are you?

Are you mad. You don't know me?

You haven't heard about Amos?

Are you crazy?

Give me the money.

Give that money what's wrong with you?

I'll slap you.

Get out of here.

No problem.

I said get out of here.

I said get out of here.

What's good?

Everything's good

You should give us something

In my own hood?

That doesn't make a difference. You're supposed to drop something.

Mama, do you have rice?

Bring some rice for me to eat.

Don't worry, I'll give you something later.

Give it now.

You're a man so give it.

Mama, you've become too troublesome.

What happened?

Why shouldn't I be?

What's not happening?

Bring something.

Oh this mama.

I'm not giving you anything.

You've taken a lot of my money.

I'm not giving you a single Naira.

What's up?

I'm fine.

Hold up.

Where's the money you made today?

We didn't make money.

We haven't made any money.

So you're walking the streets without making any money?

We haven't made any money.

Do you want to give us some money?

Bring that.

Come here.

I'm not playing with you.

I'll hit you.

Bring the money.

Look, I'm not laughing

Look at this babe.

Okay calm down.

In my hood?

I'm going to injure you.

Bring the money.

Okay, stop...

Let's discuss.

What's happening here? Bring bring...

Bring the money.

Wait, wait, wait, Chill, chill...

Okay, go home.

Now you're talking. You've been witholding all this while

Baddest.

Top man.

Your outfit is looking crazy.

Even your hair style is on point.

That's how we do bro.

What's happening?

I'm good, I'm running an errand for my boss.

Bro.

Are you still working for those rich people?

Where do you want me to go?

Bro.

Join the streets and hustle.

Look at me.

Just walking around looking for money to make.

Or find some fool I can steal from.

Yesterday.

I stole an Iphone 7 from a rich kid at Waterside.

How much did you sell it?

50K.

Wow, you're making money.

I swear.

The money's spent though.

Gave some to my mum,

Me and the boys went clubbing.

We had a good time.

Bro, come let me tell you something.

When you're ready.

Give me a call.

We'll go to your boss' house and rob the place.

I can't do it.

Why not?

I just can't.

Come on man don’t be dull.

I'm not a street guy.

I don't hustle that way.

Bro leave this thing.

Bro, life is long.

Let it be.

I'm alright.

Do you want die suffering?

I'm not suffering. I'm okay as I am.

What's wrong with you?

Forget all that.

Is that what you wanted to talk about?

Guy, this is real money.

I know...

I'm working for money as well.

Is this money you're making?

I just made 50k yesterday.

Forget that story.

Where's the money?

Where's the 50k?

Alright, no worries.

Do you have 1k?

Yeah.

Bring the money you’re holding.

You want to collect my boss’ money.

Seems like something is wrong with you?

Do I look like one of your rich kid victims?

I'm not on the Waterside.

See you later

Wow, your trainers.

You'll have to lend it to me sometime.

It's Balencia.

You won't understand.

Idiot.

He doesn't even have any money.

Fool.

Moving on.

When I see them.

When I catch any of them

I will so deal...

What is it?

What is it?

So you are the one

What is your name?

Do you know me?

Mad woman. What is it?

Wait for me.

You madman.

Wait for me.

You can't catch me.

Look at this woman.

You won’t catch me, no way.

Barman.

What happened here?

Barman.

Did you check that tyre yesterday?

Yes I've done it.

Get out of the way.

In Lagos...

There are mad people everywhere.

What is chasing that person?

He's either high or just stole from the market.

I need to leave this town.

I need to go back to Kano, before I turn to a madman myself.

With his fried hair like Tony Tetuilla.

Boss.

I'm done.

Boss, I'm done.

It's all good now.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Hurry up.

Are you washing a dead body?

Why are you smoking cigarettes like it was prescribed to you?

Has she removed it?

Not yet.

But very soon.

I spoke with Baba Ilepo.

The crazy one.

He said he'll give me a concoction called Ogribaba from Ayetoro.

I'll put it in her food.

After eating it, her stomach will start to hurt.

Then she will piss it all out.

Oh boy.

You're a real man.

People like you don't fear God.

Which God?

Fear which God?

The same God that let me suffer.

Let me have a child.

Then the child would start to convulse.

No way.

She must get rid of it.

I hear you.

She must get rid of it.

Barman.

What happened here?

Barman.

Barman.

Barman.

Loser.

What’s in your hand like Yam?

Yam.

Yam?

Yes, yam.

I don’t want to eat yam.

Give me some money to buy noodles.

I will cook noodles and eggs.

The Aboki way.

What is this?

Yam.

Yam?

Yam, eat it.

I told you I didn't want Yam.

Shut your mouth.

Fucking shut up your mouth and eat this yam.

What is this nonsense?

Did you work for money?

What is this rubbish?

What kind of witch do I have in this house?

Stupid woman.

Ruining my life.

What is this nonsense?

I'm a vulcanizer.

I'm not a thief.

I'm a vulcanizer.

I'm a vulcanizer.

Please.

Please.

Help me.

Jesus.

Help me.

I can't see.

- Who's that? - I can't see.

Who is that?

Where are you?

I don't know where I am.

I can't see a thing.

Who is that?

Come out, let me see you.

Where are you?

Help me.

Please.

Who are you?

Where are you?

What are you?

I can't see anything.

Please.

Who are you?

Where are you?

I don't know where I am.

I can't see a thing.

Come out, come out.

Show yourself.

Who are you?

Who are you?

Where are you?

Come out, let me see you.

Help me.

Don't be a coward. Come out, let me see you.

Help me.

I can't see.

Who are you?

Where are you?

I don't know where I am.

I can't see anything.

Who are you?

Where are you?

Help me.

Who are you?

Please.

Where are you?

Who are you?

I can't see anything.

Where are you?

Come out.

Come out.

I don't know where I am.

Where are you?

Help me.

Jesus.

Where are you?

Help me.

I can't see.

Where are you?

Where are you?

I don't know where I am.

I can't see anything.

Come out.

Come out.

Where are you?

Where are you?

Come out.

Where are you?

Come out.

Please.

Come out.

What's happening?

Come out.

What are you doing?

Get rid of it.

Get rid of it!

Thank you Edet.

Edet, thank you very much.

An increase in mentally ill homeless people....

Have been recorded in Lagos.

This country.

Please.

Please.

Help me.

Jesus.

Help me.

I can't see anything.

Help me.

Please.

Please.

I don't know where I am.

Jesus.

I can't see anything.

Please.

Please.

Help me.

Jesus.

Help me.

I don't know where I am.

It’s the little things.

Like you could be walking someplace with her...

And she’d be like...

You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later.

And you’d keep going.

Only to find her already there.

And when you asked her how she got there so fast.

You'd get a nonchalant response like.

I took a bus.

Or worse.

I ran.

So...

Ikenna called you.

Right?

Another thing about Joy is.

She usually knew exactly what you were thinking.

Even before you said anything.

Yeah, that’s her name.

Joy.

Simple, unassuming Joy.

Except she isn’t simple.

Or unassuming.

Hello.

Hey, Chinwe.

Who is this?

It’s Ikenna.

The handsome guy from your department.

Oh, Ikenna...

How did you...

I know, I know okay.

How did I get your number, right?

Does it really matter?

Ikenna called you last night and you did not tell me.

I thought we were friends.

So it's always the little things with Joy.

Like how she said it.

She didn’t say it bitterly or anything

She just said it like...

So casual.

Like she was just telling me about...

An assignment in class or something.

How the hell did she know?

So you left without me.

I'm sorry.

I didn't.

I didn't know, you where bathing so I.

I'm joking.

You don’t have to wait for me.

We're not siamese twins.

Erm, Joy.

Yes, darling.

Did you give Ikenna my number?

Why would I do that?

And speak of the devil.

Sunshine.

Good morning.

So cute.

If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.

So are you having lunch with me today?

Yeah?

Ikenna

Yeah.

Did you mention calling me to Joy?

Hell No.

Listen.

That girl is a witch, if I ever saw one.

Did...

Did she tell you anything about me?

-No -Are you sure?

Cos that girl, you know she can be.

You know she be mad sometimes.

So, like I told you.

You're very lucky to have the first slot...

For the mid-semester exam.

It's 30th of March.

And it's not far off.

So.

As you can see.

We have to deal with four topics.

So.

GDP.

Which we dealt with last week.

Economic Growth...

Which will be dealt with this week.

Unemployment, is on the 18th.

And inflation is on the 20th.

So.

Now you can see...

That we have a loaded one.

And we cannot afford to waste time.

So.

Next lecture.

We're gonna move as fast as we can.

So.

I gotta be body out of here.

So, see you in the next class.

Sorry, excuse me.

Chinwe.

Chinwe.

Chinwe.

Chinwe.

I've been calling you.

Are we still.

No.

We're not going for lunch.

Don't call me again.

Are you crazy?

I'm not joking

Are you mad?

If I switch up on you.

What's all this rubbish?

When I sucked your dick...

Did you say you didn't like it?

You're sick.

Listen, you're sick.

And I'll tell Chinwe to stop hanging around with you.

-Tell her -You demon

Cursed.

I'll spit on you.

Babe.

If you tell me that Babe is into men.

Or even into sucking dicks.

I wouldn’t believe it.

What are you talking about?

That's just how girls like her behave.

They dress like maids but are the worst.

That’s true.

Reminds me of a girl in boarding school.

Halima.

She'd cover herself in hijab.

And never talked.

But at night... She would climb the fence.

And go to her boyfriend’s house.

He's coming, reduce your voice.

You've gotten your dick sucked right?

Chinwe.

Chinwe, I can explain.

If you don’t want anyone to know.

You have to hold your dick up like this.

Hold it up, straight.

Like a ruler, right?

I'm telling you.

Okay, hold on.

What if you point it downwards?

No, you can’t point it downwards.

Because your balls will suffer.

Listen, only up.

90 degrees verticle.

It’s already horizontal...

So your only option.

Is up.

What if it's not long enough?

It's going to be...

Who’s coming?

Joy

Ikenna

She's wearing a bra?

What are you doing here all by yourself?

What?

You smoke?

Ikenna, are you coming?

Bro, our skunk.

Okay, okay.

Okay

Ouch.

Okay.

Are you crazy?

You want this?

I swear this is exactly how it happened.

You need to stay away from that girl Chinwe.

That girl is a witch for sure.

A witch.

There goes that word.

Men call women that all the time.

But something about the way Ikenna said it...

Told me that this wasn’t just some flippant misogynistic use.

This was more...

Chinwe.

Literal.

Chinwe

Are you mad?

Madman.

Madam, I don't have change.

Babes, what's up?

Fine.

Fine.

Chinwe.

Chinwe, I'm sorry.

Chinwe, I'm sorry.

Ikenna was a really good guy.

I just...

I just got a little jealous.

Please forgive me.

You're my best friend.

And I love you.

Please.

I love you too.

Do you know what I feel like?

Ice cream.

Strawberry and Vanilla.

Well, they have vanilla at the eatery next to the canteen.

But I don’t know about strawberries.

I'd rather die.

♪ Today today, tomorrow no more If I die today♪

-♪ I go die no more ♪ -What's going on there?

♪ Today today, tomorrow no more If I die today, I go die no more ♪

I don't want to be late for class.

♪ Today today, tomorrow no more If I die today, I go die no more ♪

Binta.

Babe.

How are you?

What's going on?

Nothing, okay?

No, don't, don't.

Patience.

♪ When I remember Ikenna Water run away my eye ♪

And I was so mad at him.

And for what?

For what?

It's okay.

That's life.

Don't worry yourself to death.

I remember thinking about it all.

Connecting all the dots, so to speak.

And even though I couldn’t admit it.

Or more appropriate, wouldn’t admit it to myself.

Okay, so see you guys later in the hostel.

I was starting to consider.

That perhaps there was something to what Ikenna had said.

A modicum of truth to it.

But then your rational mind takes over.

A witch?

C’mon, that’s ridiculous.

Right?

I'm sure you must think I’m a witch right now?

Babe you can’t blame me.

And neither can you blame yourself.

It was a car accident.

These things happen everyday.

It’s just...

Life.

It was the way she said it.

Absentmindedly, just staring into space...

Like I wasn’t even there.

All the while she kept stroking my hair and staring into space.

And just repeating how nice a boy Ikenna was.

But really talkative.

Very...

Talkative.

Ikenna was a nice boy.

A little talkative, but...

Nice nonetheless.

Needless to say my emotions went from devastation...

To scared out of my mind.

I remember this moment all too well.

Because this was the moment I realized...

She had killed Ikenna.

I was afraid of Joy.

And I’m pretty sure she knew that.

She didn’t care.

Probably enjoyed it

I also began to notice that I wasn’t the only one scared of Joy.

No one would sit with us in class.

This girl's a witch.

And every time I walked with her...

People whispered and spoke in hushed tones.

This girl is a real witch.

Joy is bad.

Joy didn’t care.

She was as gay and carefree as ever.

But she knew everyone talked about her.

Oh she knew.

Joy didn’t miss anything.

I didn't really have a reason to go to the library.

Except to get away from her.

Joy would rather die than go to the library.

I want to go the library.

Bookworm.

I love you.

Your friend is a witch.

You know that, right?

Well...

She killed Ikenna.

I know it.

And he knows it.

All our guys.

They know it.

All your guys.

She knows.

Everyone in school knew Mark and Ebele where cultists.

Mark and Ebele like Ikenna were generally nice guys.

You didn’t have anything bad really to say about them.

They never missed classes...

And they always had good grades.

Never looked for trouble either.

So nothing could have prepared me for what they said next.

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live...

Look...

We will take care of you.

Look, don't worry at all.

We will handle it.

Don't worry yourself.

Me and my guy.

We got you.

And that was the last time I ever saw Mark and Ebele.

As you already know.

GDP growth rate...

Is 2020 GDP minus 2019 GDP.

Divided by the 2019 old GDP.

Which automatically gives you the annual growth rate.

I didn’t pay any attention to the lecture.

I couldn’t.

I had a really bad feeling in my gut.

Mark and Ebele had not attended the lecture, and they never missed classes.

I knew something was wrong.

Go and calculate 2020 GDP with 1992 GDP.

You will see what score I will give you.

Joy was never happier.

She laughed at all the stupid jokes the Professor made.

She never laughed at his jokes.

Or at anyone’s jokes for that matter.

She laughed at her own jokes though.

Her own jokes knock her out.

Now where in the world did Mark and Ebele go?

Heaven knows they never miss a class.

I wonder what happened to them.

Joy had this phony look on her face.

Like she was really trying hard to figure out where Mark and Ebele went...

But at the same time.

Trying to show you that she really wasn’t trying to figure it out.

Do you understand?

C’mon...

Let’s go get ice cream.

I’m paying.

Nobody’s ever going to come between us, Chinwe.

Nobody.

I love you, darling.

And we're going to be best friends.

Forever.

C’mon.

Let’s go get ice cream.