Original subtitles

Um, wait till I turn coffee if you want some.

Hmm? Where's Pussy?

In his cage.

Anyways, I got a new shirt the other day.

Holy shit, that's amazing.

Yeah? Do you like it?

I love it.

Why is Pussy in a cage?

Are you sure you don't care? Yes, of course. I can't imagine leaving him

can I?

You can't take a campaign.

Fucking hell, Ma.

You'll meet him there. Where am I going from?

I thought you were coming from your house.

Um, no, I'm staying here because I'm avoiding heaps because of the sleeping

together.

Still haven't figured it out with heaps?

No, he's figured it out.

He's done.

I'm sorry, Ma.

Don't be.

I wasn't that invested. Yes, you were, bitch.

You are still in love with that man even though he done gave you the clap.

Not even.

It's okay if you are.

Well, I'm not. It's just awkward now.

Well, anyway, he's missing something good.

Look at you.

You've got a good face.

You're smart.

And you help people.

You're helping me.

Thanks,

Liz.

Yeah, can you move your fat feet?

moment. Yeah, what can you do with your feet up, maybe?

Jeez. And since when did you like hugging?

Since now.

Can you be at least abrasive?

Let me try.

Yeah, that's enough.

We're leaving in five and Ma, dust the chicken off your fucking chest. That's

gross.

Okay,

so I got insect repellent, a queen -size airbed, pillows, a chilly bin, a 4 %

tent, and utensils. We still need ice and a couple other things.

What did you guys bring?

Uh, weed and tequila.

Well, I brought some evening wear, you know.

Some shorts, some condoms.

That is not appropriate camping gear.

Who are you going to be fucking? It's just us and families.

Clearly you haven't done your research.

Look, we're going to be at a camping site, you know. Think about it. White

White daddies.

At a camping site. We're going to be hiking. We're going to be swimming.

We're going to be camping.

They've got family, so how does that work? You know how it works?

At the night time, a hole is a hole is a hole is a hole.

And I'm a hole.

Well, I thought we should start with stopping the van.

It's nine in the morning. Always on the fifth page. That's why we love you.

Are they really bringing the cat camping pour? I've told them already.

So

those

ones are my favourite, their tequila. I've also got vodka and gin.

How do you do it?

Soak it in your finger, lick it.

Now if it rains we'll just go outside and stand in the rain because it'll just

be a free shower

So it's probably my favourite movie ever. And it's about horses and they can

talk. And Matt Damon, he voices the main horse and his voice is so sexy.

And they're so powerful and strong horses, you know, and they're so

And I think it was the first time I ever got horny.

What?

Get out! I knew you had enough to die.

Let me get up in here.

Hold up, are you alright?

Can you get out?

Come on, sister, what's going on?

I don't know.

Come on, babe.

Breathe.

Well, sometimes I feel like I have the pain in my chest and I can't breathe and

I failed my profs. Yeah, no, I thought you had.

I don't know why this keeps happening.

Okay, come here.

I'm saying this because I love you.

I love you very much, Ma. And here's the thing.

You're a fucking mess, yeah?

And not in a cute way.

What? You're on the decline, my love.

And it's okay. You're allowed to be on the decline.

The decline?

I mean, look.

Look who you've been fucking. You're tired all the time.

And to be honest, how much do you want to be a lawyer?

Zero percent.

But I've been working towards it my whole life, and my mom... Oh, fuck it.

it. Look, I love Amo. I really, really do. But she's not you.

She doesn't have to live your life. So what do you want to do?

I don't know.

Okay. Turn to the mirror.

I want you to do something.

Like what?

Well, anything.

Ah, lovely. Good.

Now go on.

Say something.

You left your toothbrush at home.

All right.

Cheeky stuff.

You need to be an adult and start paying for things.

And you need to give less shits about what people think about you.

And you need to stop buying $5 vibrators from AliExpress.

Absolutely.

You need to tell your mum that the lawyer thing ain't it anymore.

It never was it. Not for you.

Not for you.

And you need to figure out who you are and not be a little bitch about it.

And you need to brush your fucking hair.

Yeah, you do.

You feel a bit better?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Don't go feeling so special, my love.

I'm due for a breakdown myself.

Something very chic, you know. With a sugar daddy who could pay for my

therapist.

That's a good plan. I think so.

Hmm.

I'm gonna piss myself, my dear, so... Oh.

Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. One more look.

Pretty girl. Pretty girl. Go on.

And I've got... And I've got... Yeah. And I rock. Clap your hands for this

And I've got...

Okie dokie. So, take pole A and insert it into pole B.

And then take that whole thing and insert it into...

Hole B and hole C.

You're a hole C.

What the hell do I have?

A's.

Oh, wait, you might have B's.

Nah, see, I reckon you just follow your nose with this type of thing, Rach.

A's, you definitely have A's. I don't know what that means.

Oh.

Oh, Tops, you got the wrong tent. This is the one -man tent.

Oh, is it?

This only has enough room for you, you egg.

Not if we spoon.

Where's your cousin?

Where's Liz?

Are you here with your whanau?

No. Me and my cousins live down the road.

Oh, cool.

Bye -bye.

I'm Liz.

I'm here with my cousin too, Mariah.

Rikki.

Where are you from?

Are you molly?

Yeah.

Why you don't look that molly?

Well, I am.

Okay then.

I am.

A big one.

Oh shit.

Alright, so a ship came into the harbour carrying a shipload of kateaki goma.

Can you believe what this kid Ricky just said to me? He said I didn't look

Māori. Oh, Liz, it doesn't matter. You already know you are.

You've got to just let it go, Liz.

Yeah, I know. I'm on a journey. Blah, blah, blah.

Okay, Liz, Baz, Taz, do you want a hash brownie?

Yeah, you know I like potatoes.

Do we look like people who have peep towels?

That's him.

That's Ricky.

Liz, that's a child.

I thought you meant like a teenager or something.

Yeah, well, I reckon you could take him.

Don't encourage her. Ricky has a lot to answer for.

And how are you, baby girl?

Fine. We better.

Yeah?

Well, then.

Let's get fucked up, shall we?

You know?

And

you

know what?

Brenton keeps coming around and being like, Piotr, as if you're doing me a

favor. They're just milking you.

What are you guys talking about?

Talking about my job, Pep.

Keep up.

And you know what else?

I found out from the other advisors that I was the least paid one.

That is outrageous.

You need to call your boss and tell him that shit ain't the type. Yeah, that's a

good idea.

Do it.

Fuck them all.

Fuck Brendan and fuck Ricky.

Who's Ricky? The devil child.

And call them and say what?

Listen here, you underpaying motherfucker.

Okay, maybe don't go in like that.

You need to call him.

And you need to tell him, boss, I need to talk to you about equity.

See? Another good idea. Thank you. Okay. All right.

Where's my phone?

Marlon. No, poor Don.

And he's got a voicemail. Leave a message. Leave a message?

Yeah. You reckon?

Yes, I reckon.

No, don't. Poor, fuck it, do it.

I'm gonna do it.

Hi, Brendan.

It's poor.

You remember me?

The diverse community advisor?

Yeah, I'm here to talk to you about equity.

Hey, Rice. Hey, Rice.

And a fucking pay rise, bitch. You better run me my check, okay?

What is it exactly that you want me to do?

You want me to be out here teaching identity?

Teach them weirdos how to sing fucking Waiata.

Bitch, I ain't even Maori.

Oh, put a hang up. And you know what? I would have fucking aced that job, and

you fucking know it. I'm the best bitch in that branch.

And you know what? You put me in diversity.

So you could stick your fucking white mumbo jumbo kumbaya diverse bullshit.

Shove it up your ass.

Shove it up your ass.

Thank you my look at my

Toilet

okay, let's see my lookout

Ricky? Liz?

Liz!

Hey, why do you think you have an authority on what I look like?

Huh? Sorry, lady.

Who are you?

I'm Liz. Who the fuck are you?

Who? This lady just started talking to me at the water tap. I don't even know

you. Well, you're about to. Liz, you can't fight a child.

Kia ora.

I'm, uh... Well, I may not have all the features, Ricky, but my dad was Māori,

and now he's dead. How do you feel about that?

your body.

She's a psycho.

A psycho? Hey, don't come at my cousin.

You know, don't get on your high horses. You're not the only Maori's here.

Lady, what's on?

Are you sure?

You good, cuz?

What the heck, lady? You made Ricky cry.

Well, maybe Ricky is a little bitch.

Oh, shut up. Let's run.

It'll be like walking in the tree like patches on your skin like cream, but who

can you know what I mean?

What's happening?

Where are you?

Pooh, calm down.

Have you looked?

No, but we're going to have to grid search the entire area.

Pooh, I told you not to bring the cat.

Rachel, I swear I will rip your fucking hair. Can everyone keep it down? My

skull is on fire.

Hey! Whoa.

What the?

Oi! Get away from the bed!

Fuck! What?

What just happened?

We started a gang war with Ricky and his cousin.

You think that's funny?

Have you seen Tops and Ties?

Are you going to pay for that?

Why are you looking at me?

Because you keep talking.

Stop. Focus. My pussy's missing.

No one cares about your stupid cat paw.

Excuse you?

This is some serious shit.

How are we supposed to get home? Talk to me nice, all right? I'm not the one out

here giving everybody chlamydia.

What are you on about?

Um, turns out it was actually Karl Parker who gave it to me.

Well, you got the clue? Not anymore.

You want to apologise?

Okay, um, how about we all just chill and try not to fight each other today,

Well, my dad has roadside service so we could use that.

See, yes, it's all good.

Alright, that's good roadside service. Fuck, what is?

Tops, you need to go get your girl.

So, Ma, you and Hepps, you go sort that roadside thing out. Pua, me and you,

let's go look for pussy on that side of the camp.

Liz and Rach, you go look for pussy on that side of the camp. Break!

Really? You had to tell everyone I got chlamydia?

Sorry, girl, it's still there.

Thank you so much.

Yep, it's just two tires.

Great.

Half an hour.

Oh perfect, thank you.

Bob the mechanic is gonna come and fix everything.

We should probably try and find the cat.

I'm good.

You're not going to help at all.

I think I need to apologise to you.

I don't think I handled things well with that.

Yeah, you didn't.

Yeah, I know. I was a mess.

Well, I still am a mess, but I didn't think it was going to work because I was

developing feelings for you, like actual proper feelings.

Where do you get off telling me this now?

I'm just trying to be honest.

Well, don't, Ma.

Because I don't care.

You don't care?

No.

And you know, I thought I was going to get an actual apology from you just now.

I did.

No, you didn't. You made it about yourself.

But I don't know why I'm surprised. It's just Ma as usual.

You're being a dick.

And you're a user.

You just manipulate shit so that you can do whatever you want.

You started things with us because you were in your feels, and then when it was

convenient for you, you were done.

But now you're back in your feels and looking here to make you feel better.

Back the fuck up. I was going through some hard shit.

About what? Oh, my mum doesn't get me. I'm a disappointment.

Grow the fuck up, ma.

There's other shit going on.

What the fuck is your problem?

Okay, yeah, I can be a little bit selfish, but you've obviously got some

issues that you need to work through.

What, you think you're perfect?

Go sort your own shit out. Sort my own shit out?

Ma, listen to yourself.

You're the biggest fuck -up here.

I might be, but at least I know it.

You think I don't know that I'm a fuck -up?

I try to jump off a bridge, Ma.

What?

Heads.

Heads, don't walk away.

Heads! Go, guys!

Whoa. What's going on?

Nothing. Yo, I lost my job.

Oh, actuals. Yeah, B.

Ma, I've never been unemployed in my life. What do I do?

Um, just tell them it was drunk talk.

Hey, bad news.

Couldn't find any pussy.

No job, no cat, fuck.

Wait, you got fired?

Oh, my God, you got fired.

Mm -hmm. No job, and my pussy's been murdered.

Shit.

Now's not the time to act.

Oh, I'm sick of this shit. You all need to get over yourselves. I'm not leaving

without my cat.

Look, I just want to go home.

Mm, yeah. Are you using your earspeed? I need to find my fucking pussy.

I don't talk to them like that. Oh, or what?

What? Oh, just leave it.

You're the idiot who brought the cat. You thought it was... No, wash your

All of yous are acting like babies.

Yeah, well, maybe you should shut the fuck up and let me find my cat.

Honest, talk to him like that one more time. Oh, fucking what, Joseph?

Come find out. Talk to me fucking nice, all right, or I'll knock your fucking

head out. Come there, bitch. G'day, folks.

Here you go, a couple of punches.

Finally.

Anyone want to show me the damage?

No, no pressure.

This way.

Okay.

Shit, don't take that, bitch.

Me and my wife used to come here when we were really young.

Ah, really good times, those.

No cares in the world.

So much promise.