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All language subtitles for NM&FM AccidentalMotherFucker 2016 Sc5SportiveStepdadP2=KeishaGrey&E.Masterson

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:07,420 Uh, Keisha? 2 00:00:08,940 --> 00:00:10,060 Let me ask you a question. 3 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:15,580 What happened with the massage school and the money I gave you and starting a 4 00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:16,860 business and those things? 5 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:23,360 Well, Daddy, I started the business and everything, but you're not going to like 6 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,360 it. 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:29,960 You don't have to call me Daddy. I mean, I'm your stepfather, but... So what am 8 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,500 I not going to like? I'll show you. 9 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,320 I'm ready, Daddy. 10 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:43,240 the massage I was telling you about. 11 00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:45,380 Where's the table? 12 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,500 I need someone to try it on. 13 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:04,019 Imagine how long you would think if she walked in with my body all over you. 14 00:01:04,459 --> 00:01:07,140 I may need to practice on you a little bit more, though. 15 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,740 Why are you fucking your daughter? 16 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,940 It's so bad in here. 17 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:20,940 But I like you so much. 18 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:24,460 You feel so fucking good in here. 19 00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:48,439 Hey, man. 20 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,740 Yeah, it's me. I'm at your place. Where you at? 21 00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:52,380 Fuck, 22 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,760 man. You're going to be a couple of hours? I need to pick that stuff up. 23 00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:57,480 Oh. Oh, okay. 24 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:58,760 There's a key under the mat. 25 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,400 You sure it's cool if I just go on inside and grab it? 26 00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:03,958 Oh, yeah, yeah. 27 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,280 Thanks, man. All right. I'll talk to you later. 28 00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:06,660 Bye. 29 00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:33,150 put it. I guess I can just fucking call him. 30 00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:35,930 Daddy, daddy, daddy! 31 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:38,190 I'm ready. 32 00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:43,390 Gross! Ew, Uncle Eric, what the fuck are you doing here? 33 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:45,750 Keisha! 34 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,690 What are you doing dressed like that? 35 00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:53,790 Especially for your daddy. 36 00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:55,789 Where'd you go? 37 00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:56,870 You want to go to your bedroom? 38 00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:00,250 Oh, there you are. 39 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,260 What are you doing in here? 40 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,640 Well, I just came by to pick up a package. I mean, your dad ordered some 41 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,700 automotive parts for me. 42 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,920 What are you doing greeting him like that? 43 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,180 I started my own massage business thing. 44 00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,020 It's Japanese. 45 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,240 It's Japanese, but you're... 46 00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:29,110 Why are you even looking at me right now? I'm not wearing clothes. 47 00:03:29,530 --> 00:03:33,950 I noticed that when you came bouncing on out there to meet your daddy. 48 00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:40,730 So, uh, what exactly did you have planned? 49 00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:47,150 Well, I was gonna show him how I do my massages. 50 00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:50,530 You were gonna show him how you do your massages? 51 00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:52,350 Dressed like this? 52 00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:53,990 You're so fucking creepy, dude. 53 00:03:54,620 --> 00:03:58,760 Yes, just like this. It's how we do the massage. It's the technique. 54 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,160 Oh, I guess you're kind of recording too, huh? 55 00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:12,300 So, uh, I mean, he's not going to be home for a few hours. Maybe you could 56 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:13,300 me how you do it. 57 00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:18,899 No, it's not the kind of massage that you think it is, Uncle Eric. 58 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:24,990 Oh, it's not. You can do it with my brother, but you can't. You can't do it 59 00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:25,969 me. 60 00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:31,410 I mean, I'm sure it's not a big deal. I'm sure I'll learn about it. I'm sure 61 00:04:31,410 --> 00:04:33,690 your mom knows about it and stuff like that. We'll probably talk about it at 62 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:40,250 dinner one time. No, my mom, no, she can't know that I'm doing the kind of 63 00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:41,390 technique. 64 00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,050 Really? What kind of technique is it? 65 00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:47,750 I mean, it sounds intriguing to me. 66 00:04:50,970 --> 00:04:52,810 You're too creepy for this kind of massage. 67 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:58,700 You know, you're probably right. You know, it's probably better that you and 68 00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,900 your daddy have these special moments. 69 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:08,580 And I guess I'll just go. I'm sure, you know, your mom's good with it. I'm good 70 00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:11,580 with it. He's good with it. Everybody's good with it. I mean, it's no big deal. 71 00:05:11,740 --> 00:05:14,100 I should just probably leave, right? No, no, no, no, no. 72 00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:17,800 She can't know about it. Like, seriously, Uncle Eric, please. 73 00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:19,820 Okay. 74 00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:21,180 I mean... 75 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:28,240 I don't see a massage table or anything like that. What kind of massage is it? 76 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,900 It's a body -to -body massage, okay? 77 00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:34,920 Really? A body -to -body massage? Yeah, that's what I'm going to say. 78 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:41,820 I mean, doesn't like this get caught on people? I mean, wouldn't that rub people 79 00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:43,380 the wrong way if it's body -to -body? 80 00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:45,740 It's nude. 81 00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:49,780 You don't wear clothes when you do this kind of massage. It's nude. 82 00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:53,670 Better and better. 83 00:05:54,790 --> 00:05:58,970 So you're nude. I mean, you've obviously done this before. This isn't the first 84 00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:00,930 time, otherwise you wouldn't be recording it. 85 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:07,690 Um, so, uh... Yeah, uh... How do we get this started? 86 00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:09,990 Should I just go ahead and get undressed and get dressed? 87 00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:13,570 That'll work. Take your clothes off. 88 00:06:29,609 --> 00:06:31,570 Yeah. You're all grown up there, aren't you? 89 00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:42,530 Need help with those shoes? 90 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:45,670 Stop talking. 91 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,590 And I just lay face up, face down. 92 00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,300 Hmm. Feels nice. 93 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,980 Yeah, my hands are pretty magical. 94 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,340 I bet they are. 95 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:52,080 I bet you've got more than hands to imagine. Alright, part of this is not 96 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,080 talking. 97 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,800 Just relax. 98 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,780 Wonder, I kind of bet you did a lot of talking with your daddy. 99 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,060 That's neither here nor there. 100 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,620 Well, I bet you it was here both times. 101 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,760 Okay. 102 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,320 Gel's nice and cool. 103 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,320 Mm -hmm. 104 00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:49,590 That's warm. 105 00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:52,230 Yeah. 106 00:09:04,490 --> 00:09:11,170 I invented this technique. 107 00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:14,510 I started it in Japan. 108 00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:15,850 Really? 109 00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:20,050 That's Japanese. 110 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,350 Oh, yeah. 111 00:09:33,650 --> 00:09:40,630 My family used to play Twister in the 112 00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:41,630 family reunion. 113 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,090 So nice. 114 00:09:45,590 --> 00:09:47,730 You're so fucking creepy. 115 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,040 Yes, it's soft skin. 116 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:14,580 Just 117 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:21,520 like the good 118 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,500 old days of the slip and slide in the front yard. 119 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,080 Not exactly. 120 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,940 Not exactly. 121 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,360 That's for sure. 122 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,980 Oh, yeah. 123 00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:49,440 You definitely passed the flying colors for the massage tool, that's for sure. 124 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:56,300 Yeah, well, you paid a lot of money for it. 125 00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:00,050 Daddy pays for a lot of things. 126 00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:06,750 But I mean, I guess that's okay. You're paying him back for these massages, 127 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:07,770 right? 128 00:11:07,990 --> 00:11:09,030 I sure am. 129 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:06,680 Hmm. You know, I bet you and your mother would probably be really 130 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:10,860 good as a doubles act with this. Of course. 131 00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:16,700 You know, our... It's all slick and smooth. 132 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,740 Maybe I can help her out and introduce her to it. 133 00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:31,770 I mean, you would mind, would you? 134 00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:37,170 Why? You're the creepiest fucking uncle there could possibly be. 135 00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:43,910 Shh. Don't say things like that. It could ruin the video. 136 00:13:02,260 --> 00:13:04,060 Hey. That's a little bit. 137 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:05,440 Oh. 138 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,840 She's getting better and better. 139 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,140 She's 140 00:13:19,140 --> 00:13:26,140 here. Oh, 141 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,320 grown up. 142 00:13:50,109 --> 00:13:52,590 Uncle Eric, your pecs are so huge. 143 00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:55,230 Oh, so are yours. 144 00:13:56,510 --> 00:13:57,850 Yeah. Whoa. 145 00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:01,010 You know, 146 00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:09,310 I mean, the massage is nice and all, but even I've been on the internet. 147 00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:11,650 I know where this goes. 148 00:14:14,590 --> 00:14:18,590 Come on, I mean, it's good enough for my brother. It should be good enough for 149 00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:19,590 me, right? 150 00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:24,490 And I'll definitely need to get a copy of that. 151 00:14:27,790 --> 00:14:32,310 I mean, or we could just discuss this at the next family reunion. 152 00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:33,349 I mean, whatever. 153 00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:34,350 Lots of glass. 154 00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:40,270 There we go. 155 00:14:42,270 --> 00:14:47,450 And hey, hey, just so it's not weird, I mean, if you want to call me daddy just 156 00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:48,990 to make it easier for you, you can. 157 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,900 I'm never fucking calling you daddy. 158 00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:54,640 You're not my daddy. 159 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,560 Okay. There we go. Oh, there we go. 160 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:00,860 Mm -hmm. 161 00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:47,470 You're so fucking good at being creepy. 162 00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:51,330 We all have our special talents. 163 00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:54,310 Obviously, I'm finding out what yours are. 164 00:15:55,630 --> 00:15:57,450 Just like my brother did, I'm sure. 165 00:15:57,850 --> 00:15:58,970 Oh, my God. 166 00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:06,530 Oh, God. 167 00:16:07,990 --> 00:16:10,650 Must have sucked a lot of dicks back in the store. 168 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:12,670 How did you know? 169 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:14,430 Just lucky. 170 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:43,700 God, that's good. 171 00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:47,660 Mmm. 172 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,600 Mmm. 173 00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:55,420 Mmm. 174 00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:57,220 Mmm. Mmm. 175 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:58,760 Mmm. Mmm. 176 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:06,300 Yeah, so, uh... So, uh, let's go ahead and get to the next part. 177 00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:09,180 What next part? I'm not fucking you. 178 00:17:09,839 --> 00:17:11,579 Oh, yeah, I think you are. 179 00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:17,180 I mean, let's just keep it in the family. Come on. 180 00:17:58,570 --> 00:17:59,570 Yeah. 181 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:41,000 Yeah, if you don't want to call me daddy, you know, why don't you just say 182 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000 me, Uncle Eric? 183 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:44,460 No fucking way. 184 00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:46,779 Come on. 185 00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:47,900 Just fuck me, Uncle Eric. 186 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:56,020 Fuck me, Uncle Eric. 187 00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:39,160 Now somebody's being a team player, aren't they? 188 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,900 I'm creepy as fuck right now. Uh -huh. 189 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,240 Here we go. 190 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,280 Oh, 191 00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:51,380 fuck 192 00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:57,680 me, I'm quiet. 193 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,660 Look, Daddy, I'm fucking Uncle Eric. 194 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,560 Uh, no. 195 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:18,960 Why don't you look at the camera and say, Look, Daddy, I'm fucking Uncle 196 00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,440 Come on. I'm fucking Uncle Eric. Look, 197 00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:23,660 Daddy, 198 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,580 I'm fucking Uncle Eric. 199 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,760 I always like it, don't I? My daddy likes it. 200 00:21:57,180 --> 00:21:58,180 Becky does. 201 00:24:07,950 --> 00:24:11,990 to be a regular on your books week after week. 202 00:24:43,340 --> 00:24:45,180 I'm gonna shoot it all over those little tits. 203 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,280 Huh? Yeah? 204 00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:50,780 Do you want me to go ahead and paint those tits on you? 205 00:24:51,060 --> 00:24:52,160 Yeah? Yeah? 206 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,040 Let me see. 207 00:24:55,100 --> 00:24:55,580 Oh 208 00:24:55,580 --> 00:25:07,320 no. 209 00:25:08,300 --> 00:25:09,300 Oh no. 210 00:25:14,570 --> 00:25:18,110 I hate my fucking titties, you nasty old fucking creepy uncle. 211 00:25:19,090 --> 00:25:20,590 Creepy ass uncle Eric. 212 00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:25,470 I hate how 213 00:25:25,470 --> 00:25:30,690 nasty you are getting off on me. 214 00:25:31,850 --> 00:25:33,030 Fucking gross. 215 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,560 You know, 216 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,760 you'd make double the money. 217 00:25:49,580 --> 00:25:51,980 Me and your daddy would have tag -teamed you together. 218 00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:53,760 Wouldn't that be nice? 219 00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:56,080 Fucking creep. 14853