Original subtitles

Two shadows on your bedroom window.

Her car parked out back.

I see that you're interested in Alice.

Don't you know she's my girl, Jack?

That hot wire to your car ignition.

Two sticks of dynamite.

I see that you're not gonna live.

You and I.

just get good grass.

Come on, come on, give me the J.

Sorry.

Hey, what class we got today?

Music, idiot.

No.

Are we talking about Beethoven again?

That's good, because he's a real spacey kind of guy.

Come on, we're already late as it is, all right?

Ralph, just look.

Be quiet.

Oh, my.

We're in heaven.

No, no, no. We can't be in heaven, man. Girls with tattoos on their asses don't

make it into heaven.

Tattoos? A little blonde with a tight ass. Yeah, but I don't... Yeah, what's

say? It says something.

Honk if you love Jesus.

No? Walter?

No. Hey, is that Sheila over there?

It's hard to see the faces.

Yeah, I haven't seen a single face I recognize.

Actually, I haven't seen a single face.

Would you look at those?

What did you say?

I was just clearing my throat.

Still don't see her, huh?

I don't know. I probably wouldn't recognize her with her clothes off

No, the joke's the other way around.

Yeah, it's no joke, Ralph.

Well, what's the problem?

I don't know. Maybe I should lie about these things.

Well, I do.

Hey, maybe Sheila came and left and he didn't recognize her.

Ralph, don't be stupid.

Well, then where is she?

Maybe she's in the shower somewhere.

Oh, Sheila.

Good afternoon, class.

I'm sure that... I'm sure that by now

you've all heard the... I'm Miss Jackson.

I'll be your French teacher for the last few weeks of school.

Actually, I'm a bit new to teaching, but I'm sure that you'll all be real

helpful to me.

Ça va bien?

No?

Open your books, please, class.

Open to page 165.

Ralph Myers.

Lise Ralph.

I'm Dr. Domingo.

Hello.

I'm Tommy.

Yes, I know.

Would you please have a seat?

In the chair?

Are you afraid of chairs?

No, I'm not afraid of chairs.

No, I was just kind of looking forward to laying down on the couch.

Would you like to lie down on the floor?

All right, I'm ready.

Good.

Now, why'd you come to see me?

I guess because I got in Pete's class president last week.

Is that a good enough reason?

What do you think?

I don't know what I think, man.

I don't think about my studies or my friends.

I think about sex a lot.

It's normal, isn't it?

How do you feel about it?

Terrible, man.

Why?

Because I've never done it before.

And everybody else has.

How do you know that?

It's all I ever talk about.

I mean, Mix, he's been doing it since he was seven.

Teenagers are doing it all the time on TV and the movies and stuff.

I read in Newsweek that most kids should be doing it by the time they're 12.

And in English, you know, I read that Romeo and Juliet were supposed to be 13

14 years old.

I mean, look what they were into.

I haven't even made out yet.

But, you know, if this keeps up, I could grow up to be a mass murderer or

something. I mean, isn't there something you can do for me? A pill, some sort of

cure, electric shock, anything?

Well, here's another one for electric shock therapy.

Let's hook these wires up.

What's he in for, anyway?

No sex.

Oh, sex?

Poor kid.

Was it an amputation?

No.

He has all this equipment.

He just never gets to use it. But he's so young.

Well, he asked for this. He said he was a hopeless case.

Guess the doctor knows what he's doing.

You know, I don't know what's wrong, but my boobs are getting so big.

Big? They're swelling.

Why are they swelling? No, look.

What have you been eating?

Just yogurt and dairy products.

Oh, no wonder.

I should put a warning on the label. You should.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with this kid. He's just horny. Maybe we should do

something about it, you know? Nah, let's not waste time. Let's just strap him

and zap him.

Well, I don't think that'll be necessary, Tommy.

Perhaps you could channel some of that...

New energy that you're feeling into something positive.

Like sports or something like that? Football?

I'm not a jock.

I don't have any talent there anyways.

Guess I'm just a waste.

You take the whole container if you want, but take it with you.

No, that's okay, Sheila. I don't like low fat.

I told you all the way home from school that I have to swim today, Tommy. You

know that.

Qualifications are coming up soon, and I need time.

Besides, Cookie and Lisa are coming over.

What a pair.

You smell like an old married couple.

Hi, honey. Hi, Mom. Hi, Tommy.

Hey, Diane, why don't you tell Sheila that too much swimming is bad for her

skin? I hardly ever get to see her anymore.

Don't get me involved in your pool fights, Tommy.

Sheila has her own ideas about swimming practice.

Oh, Sheila.

Why don't you have Tommy try out for the swim team with you?

You could play doubles or something.

Oh, Mom.

I'm just trying, Sheila.

Tommy, could you help me with this?

Oh, sure, let me help you.

Would you take it outside the front door?

Oh, yeah, and I'll just take it out and keep going.

I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow, Sheila. Okay, but from now on, I have

to swim every afternoon.

Yeah, I know.

Honey, I'm going to change and go to the gym. I'll see you later.

Okay, I'll be in the pool.

Early, George.

We really should wait until Sheila gets out of the pool.

You know she never eats anything unless we're here?

Just get going, okay?

On the other hand, your law office could close, and we could miss the November

elections just waiting for her to get out of the pool.

Maybe I'll toss her in unless she swims by.

Hey, you can't swim, can you?

No. I never learned how.

You're really weird. Did you know that?

Ever get laid?

Me neither. But when I do, want to come and watch?

George. Yes?

What were we like at Sheila's age?

Sexually, I mean.

I'll wait there at stars above and never care about the way we love.

We were lovers.

Lover, lover.

We were lovers.

Lover, lover.

Do you remember the high school dance?

Knowing us, we were stuck in a trance. Behind the bleachers, we were making

Be so good, wanna make me shout.

We were lovers.

We were lovers.

We were lovers.

Lovers, lovers.

We were lovers.

Lovers, lovers.

We were lovers.

Lovers, lovers.

Never mind. I don't think I want to remember.

Dammit, they're starched again.

At least I wasn't a vegetarian.

Maybe I shouldn't worry so much about Sheila and the goddamn pool.

At least she's safe there, sexually.

Thanks.

You know, I always thought that Valerie would be the first girl in our class to

get pregnant.

Valerie? She's been on the pill for two years. Stop.

Yeah, really. She's on the pill? Oh, yuck.

I don't see how anyone would want to swallow all those nasty chemicals every

day. Ooh, it's creepy.

I would rather have two sets of twins every year than take that awful pill.

Ralph, this record sucks.

Huh? I said this record stinks.

Yeah, I know.

But it's already a hit. Sold a million copies.

It's a gold record.

Yeah, it shows you what jerks buy records nowadays.

Who would listen to funky, funky, funky? You're cuter than funky.

Huh?

I said there's nothing real in these songs.

I mean, boogie dance, boogie dance.

I could write better stuff than that. Real stuff.

What do you know about what's real?

Well, a lot.

What do you think I'm going to my shrink for?

Learn how to play frisbee?

Ralph, I'm suffering.

You didn't say you had a boyfriend.

She's lying, Cookie.

I didn't say I had a boyfriend. I said I'm getting the pill. And I am.

I have a strange feeling I'm going to be needing it very soon.

How's this, Ralph?

You be the faucet, and I'll be the flow.

You mean the drip.

Yeah, thanks, Ralph.

Ralph,

just listen, listen.

You be the hammer, I'll be the nail.

You be the water, and I'll be the well.

Yeah, well, about as dumb as any other hit.

Hey, wait, maybe I can put some coins in.

Well, let me see the word.

Okay.

You be the hammer, and I'll be the nail.

That's good.

That's good. Are you making it up? You be the water, and I'll be the whale.

Hey, that's terrific, Ralph.

Ralph, you're a genius.

We're both geniuses. Wait, wait, wait. Watch.

Greg Allman.

Ralph, I mean, this is like Lennon and McCartney.

We could be rich.

We could get laid whenever we want to.

Ralph, we've got to start a group.

Right.

Take your marks.

Okay, line up, girl.

The following girls have qualified types of preliminaries.

Ann, Vanessa, and Marsha.

Congratulations, girls.

Coach, what was my time?

Not good enough, Sheila. Not this year.

I couldn't have been that bad. I could feel how fast I was.

You were five seconds over. Not good enough.

That's only five seconds. I could cut that. We've got six days.

It would take you a month to crack that time, Sheila. Even two.

Sheila.

Next fall.

Next year you'll do it.

Do you know that I had to buy a special frying pan for Sheila?

She didn't want one that had been used to cook meat.

Oh, yeah?

And today...

I learned how to cook a soybean patty.

If I told her that she had to eat a soybean patty, she'd be filing charges

against me with a child abuse sentence. You know I hate starched shirts. Hurry

up, George.

I'm ready to kill for a steak.

Sheila?

Sheila? What?

We're going.

Your, uh, whatever it is is in the fridge.

Anybody eat my soybean patty? No, nobody has touched it.

I had to hide it from Dad, though. He wanted to feed it to the cat. Mother,

funny. It's just a joke, Sheila.

Vegetarian means never having to laugh again.

Why not, honey?

I'm scared.

You don't have anything to be scared of.

I might get pregnant.

You didn't last time.

Yeah, man, Mix ain't home.

Wait, Mix, let me ask you a question.

You want to be in the hottest new group since Kiss?

A group?

Yeah, okay, fine. Call me later.

As a matter of fact, come over tomorrow.

Right.

Now, let me explain it to you in a second.

To get to the egg, the sperm has to go up, right?

Mm -hmm.

So if you do it standing up, then the law of gravity will make everything stay

down. See?

Now that's the stupidest thing I've ever...

Suppose we could probably fit him in someplace?

Probably someplace?

Uh, fit me into what?

Well, our new group. It's called The Flies.

The Flies.

Like on the wall?

No, like on your pants. But you don't have to tell anybody that.

The lead singer's gonna be a girl. A California dream girl. I mean, she's the

best, Mix.

Cookie, you ever write a rock star?

Of course not.

Probably some dumb secretary lost it, but I wrote... Personal, no joke,

personal, all over it.

What?

My letter to Red Dog.

Sheila! Sheila!

Sheila, this is it. Sheila, you're going to be a star.

It's not the first time that your store has promised a delivery and missed the

date. Hold on a minute, my other line's ringing.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Karen. I'm on the other line. Hold on a minute. Tommy, I am practicing

my swimming right now, okay?

Well, yeah, but me, Ralph, and Mix... We just started a new rock group, and we

write our own songs, and they're the best, Sheila, but we need a sexy girl

you. Hey, Sheila, that's a great idea.

Oh, uh, no, Mr. Ruskin, I wasn't talking to you.

I am now. But that's you, Sheila. I don't sing. I swim.

Help, Diane.

Listen, Tommy, I don't know how to get her out of the pool.

There's nothing serious. It's just a daughter who wants to be a squid.

Swimming, Sheila. All that's going to get you is back and forth in your

all day. Will you leave me alone?

You're crazy, Sheila.

Come on.

Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm leaving right now.

What about me?

Will you be my dancer?

Okay, let's stop it, you guys.

Listen, you're just not getting it at all, Lisa.

I just started.

I know, but you're just not fast enough.

I can do it.

Can I sing?

You, Cookie?

Yeah, me.

I've been singing in a choir since I was seven.

Yeah, but this isn't a choir.

Come on, Tommy, give her a shot. Hey, man, go ahead, let her sing. You never

know. All right, why not?

You want to quit choir to sing rock and roll?

Next thing you know, you'll be wanting to quit school.

No, Daddy.

No, she won't. Oh, she won't, huh? Well, you name me one rock and roller that's

got a college degree.

You tell me that Alice Cooper has got a Ph .D. They are all crazy. No, Daddy,

it'll be like Aretha Franklin.

She sang in the choir to start off, and then she quit. No.

I'm going to do it.

I said no!

You will not get an answer with this shouting. We have already got an answer,

and the answer is no.

Six seconds off my time.

Only nine more to go.

But I will do it. No stopping.

I'm good, and everyone will know it.

From now on, I do nothing but swim and swim and swim and swim and swim.

Oh. So, your test grades, class.

I'm so bad.

So horrible.

I don't understand.

You were doing so well before I came, and now you're doing so badly.

Even usual.

Flunking. Flunking in your French.

I tell you.

Well, we just must work harder. That's all there is to it.

Jackson, what's French for brassiere?

Oh, alors.

It's so cold in here with the air conditioning.

Open your books and start studying silently to yourselves, class.

Tout de suite.

I was born for. Sheila, I know. The only one.

Oh, come on, Lisa. That is just dumb.

I mean, you've seen this guy on TV a couple of times. Be realistic.

You think TV isn't real? You think the tears I cry when I see him aren't real?

Red Dog has six million dopey fans who are just like you.

You're Lisa McDonald?

Ms. McDonald.

Ms. McDonald.

It says here you're 18 years old and a stewardess.

Yeah, see, my roommate, Sue Sally, she got sick last night all of a sudden, so

took over her flight. And, well, you know, last minute big rush. I left my

in Dallas right there on the bedside table. Well, so I just need a few pills

while I'm here in L .A., you know, just to hold me over until... Ms. McDonald.

There's no minimum age or job requirement for contraceptive

you aware of that?

No kidding.

You don't have to be 18.

Oh, then I'm not.

I thought you might say that.

Come in.

Yes, Ralph.

You wrote on my paper you wanted to see me.

Sometimes I get so busy, I just forget and I forgot.

What's your problem?

Huh? Oh, friends.

Oh, maybe.

Maybe.

Don't be afraid, Ralph. I'm not going to bite you. Even though you did flunk the

test. So did my pa.

Okay. So, what is your problem with French?

You were making A's before.

Proceed my teaching.

Oh, no. You teach great.

I see.

I know.

Well, have private lessons. That should do it.

Private? Mm -hmm. Come to my house Thursday night at 8 o 'clock.

Thousands of years ago, when they built the great pyramids of Egypt, many of the

workers probably had gonorrhea.

Some of the pharaohs who paid the bills probably had it too.

When Christopher Columbus sailed west to find India, he discovered at least two

things he never expected, America and syphilis.

The latter broke out among his crew on the return voyage.

From the waterfront, it spread like wildfire until it covered the entire

First, let's get rid of a lot of misinformation.

You do not, I repeat, you do not get VD from

doorknobs.

nor any of the following.

Looks like Valerie.

Gunnery has many nicknames. Now stop at this instant.

Not exactly an Academy Award winner, but a very informative film.

Don't you think?

Tommy!

Can I see you for a moment, please?

Your name came up at advisors' meeting.

They're talking about putting you on warning.

Your grades and conduct are shockingly bad.

Now, this is a serious thing, Thomas.

This goes on your record.

You should be at the top of your class.

Continue like this.

You'll be a garbage man.

I'm not going to be a garbage man, Mr. Stern.

Don't worry. I mean... We'll see.

Hey, uh, I gotta skip practice tonight.

You can't do that, Ralph.

The senior show's in two weeks, and you know we're not ready yet.

Besides, you want to win, don't you?

Not tonight, Tommy.

I got kind of a date.

What do you mean you got kind of a date?

You gotta go over to Miss Jackson's.

Wait a second. What's going on? Nothing.

You know Miss Jackson?

Hey, she's not old.

So it is true.

I can't wait to tell everybody at school. Hey, don't tell anyone.

She'd kill me.

But it is true.

I can't believe it.

I don't believe it.

Ralph, I can't believe that.

Don't believe it.

Can you come back tomorrow night?

Yes? Yeah.

Yeah, I can come back tomorrow. Okay.

I'm sorry.

I just forgot.

Please, let's sit down. We'll continue.

Oh.

Oh.

She'll...

Surely your father cannot just stop your mother from visiting you.

My father is a bastard.

He will not give her a ticket.

Cheap.

Oh, but you can visit her in France this summer.

No.

I hate her husband.

My stepfather and me do not get along.

He's an idiot.

I would never want to see him again.

But you could tolerate him. You could. Just to see your mother, you could stand

him, couldn't you?

No.

Yes? Hi, I'm Mick Smiles. Is Cookie home?

Of course Cookie's home. Where else should she be?

Right, I'm Mick.

Cookie's not expecting any visitors, could they?

Who was that?

Nobody.

Mix.

That was nobody and he better not come back.

Go upstairs and finish your homework.

What

are you

doing in here?

Just looking for the soap.

If my father catches us in here, he's going to kill us.

My motto is live fast and die beautiful.

I love it.

Yeah, nobody's got a skateboard and bass player.

Then that's style.

Yeah, it's not bad.

But, uh, you think we're ready for a drummer yet?

Drums, Megs, but who?

Hey, well, Gilles does it, man. As a matter of fact, he does it pretty good.

Hey, no way.

Fries, he's too flippant.

Ralph's right, Megs, man. I don't like the guy either. He tried to punch Ralph

for just sitting on his Porsche.

Hey, Tommy, man.

Do you see somebody better?

There was a story in the paper today, Warren, about black holes.

I don't understand them.

I guess I never will.

That's not funny.

I don't think you do either.

And you won't.

Not until one of your clients decides to either sue or subdivide one.

That's not funny.

You know, I just don't remember.

Talking about the sort of things that Sheila and her friend talk about.

Doing them, maybe.

Would you knock it off?

Yeah, with this little soft song, with this little punch, okay?

Well, listen, man, I said it was this soft song, and I'm the group's leader,

would you just stop it?

Yeah, great.

I don't believe this.

You know, my dad laid down three gold albums right here.

The first one is U as in could.

Say.

Could. Could.

Could. Now the second is U.

As in le cou.

The neck.

Le cou.

Le cou.

Good, good.

Très bon.

Now, here's the hard one.

U.

U as in le suc.

Which means juice.

Like orange suc. Orange juice.

Say it.

Orange juice.

No. Le suc.

Le suc.

No, no.

It's all in the lips. In the lips.

Watch my lips.

Say.

No,

no. Pucker your lips and pretend like you're kissing someone. Watch.

Le suc.

Le suc.

Le suc.

Le suc.

Very good.

Very good. Keep that up. Le suc. Keep that up.

Le suc. Le suc. Le suc. Very good. Keep going. Le suc.

Le suc.

Oh, my God.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back Red Dog.

Let me guess. Let's see.

Pizza delivery, right? No.

Red cross, blue cross.

Well, where are you from, huh? I mean, why are you standing in my office with a

surfboard?

Skateboard. Skateboard. It's for my act.

You did want to see it, right?

My Polaroids?

Polaroids. Remember?

Oh, yeah, yeah, new talent, right.

Right. You want some beer?

No, thanks.

Do you always audition people like this?

Uh, well, you know, I like to, uh, I like to talk to people. You okay?

Okay. I like to talk to people, you know, get in their head. Here, let me

you.

You know, get in their head and, you know, karma, things like that.

Yeah, sure.

Why don't you come back in my office, okay? I don't know. Come on.

Okay.

Come on.

Oh, just sit down.

So how you doing? You doing okay?

Yeah?

You want some Coke?

Oh, no thanks. I'm not thirsty.

Could I interest you in some ether?

Or how about some... How about some vitamin C or some Red Zinger tea? We

Red Zinger tea.

Are you a little nervous, huh?

Why don't you just relax and just lighten up some?

No, it's just that I can't wait for you to see my ass. You're going to flip out.

I can't flip out. See, I flipped out a long time ago.

Oh.

You're even cuter than you are small.

I am?

Oh, yeah.

Thanks. You are too.

I mean, not the small, but, you know, the cute.

Actually, I started the Skateboard Act for a group that I'm in with my, you

know, school friends.

But we just got started.

And if I had to join your group, I know they wouldn't want to hold me back.

Mess around a bit. Get kind of close and quiet.

Okay.

Oh, Red Dog, I love you.

I've always loved you.

You love me? Oh, yes.

What makes you love me?

Oh, your songs.

My songs? Oh, yeah.

Well, what do you like? Do you like the lyrics or the music?

The voice.

The voice? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

It's... It's the way you move. You're so smooth. The way I move.

Smooth, huh?

Smooth.

Very nice.

Where are you taking me? I'm taking you to...

Hey, pretty boy.

You want to let's have a good time?

Me? Yeah.

You want to party?

I don't know.

Hey, I do.

Come on.

Here, let's go in.

Anybody ever lick your toes?

Sometimes that helps.

Or I could spank you.

Listen, why don't you just give it up? It's not going to work out anyways.

Listen, hon, it ain't no big thing.

It happens all the time.

Really.

Thanks anyway.

Kids.

Kim.

Hey, hey, Asha.

Come on, you don't know what you're missing.

Don't you tell a faggot when you see one.

If it seems to be your fate, just in time to be too late.

Waking up.

You really think I'm beautiful?

You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

Why don't you say something good?

What's wrong with good news?

Good, I'll give you a meal for me.

Hello.

Jill! Hi.

You're two hours early.

Well, I wanted to, but... Come in, come in. We'll just get started earlier and

we'll finish earlier.

Great. Good.

Here, have a seat.

Okay. I was just packing supper. I'll just clear these things off, and then

we'll get going.

You know, Miss Jackson, you are the best teacher I've ever had.

And I want to give you these.

Thank you.

Well, that's the nicest compliment I've ever had.

They're just beautiful.

Oh,

here.

Here.

We can't have a lesson tonight.

Well, you have to go. You just have to go.

We'll discuss this tomorrow.

for me chance to use this car! Papa you told me that I could!

John, these costumes are fabulous. They're beautiful.

My mom's even excited about it. She's going to let me take whatever I need

the boutique.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Lisa McDonald.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad tidings, but your name has been given to

us as having been exposed to gonorrhea, darling.

Some kind of joke.

Hi, VD, ain't nothing to joke about.

At least foot, maybe, but not gonorrhea.

Really? Listen, can you come in here on Monday for an examination?

Yes.

Thank you.

Uh -huh. No, a Polaroid will do, hon.

Hey, Kitty, I've got two more here for you, hon.

Red Dog Productions.

Yeah, this is Lisa McDonald. I need to speak with Red Dog.

Lisa McDonald?

No, no.

I'm sorry. Mr. Red Dog is on tour in South America.

Can I take a message?

Tell him.

Never mind.

Okay.

Bye -bye.

Good morning. Look at her.

Nice.

Give her a call, okay? Sure.

Thank you.

They just look like ordinary people.

They are, and so are you. Go on.

You get a number, I'll get a seat.

Don't leave me.

Well now, young lady.

Let's just get up on the table, put your feet in the stirrups, and we'll do the

blood test later.

Will it hurt?

Well, let's just say it won't feel as good as what brought you here.

And even that didn't feel so good.

Well, you scored.

You got it, honey.

Now, before we can give you the necessary treatment, we will need to

of all the names of every man and old woman you've had sex with in the last

months.

Are you going to tell my mother?

Well, not unless she's on your list.

Well, there's only one.

Red Dog.

You engaged to him, too?

No. You just go in and get your needles, girl. In that room there and bend over.

And if I was you, I'd go home and break his record.

Lord have mercy.

Plump child knocking down all my paper.

Gonorrhea and clumsy tooth.

Oh.

You know, I try to think about my schoolwork and school and stuff.

All I can think about is the group and writing songs for them.

Are your parents putting pressure on you for the academics?

No.

I mean, we don't even talk very much.

All they're concerned about is that I'm happy all the time.

But if you fail...

then you'll have to go to summer school.

What do you think about that?

It doesn't really matter to me.

I mean, all that I really care about is this recording contract.

If that came through for us...

It's just a lip of a song.

If my bones are lifted, my brains are rich as young as guinea.

That's all I can think about.

You know, I don't even think about, you know...

Yes.

Well, um... Aren't there some people who are virgins forever?

Hi, Jules. Hi.

What are you supposed to be?

Well, if I really have to explain it to you, Lisa, it's Attila the Hun.

Oh.

What is wrong with Attila?

I told my mother it was a hero's party. You told that heroes and villains. I

know, but I just told her the first half.

And what's he supposed to be, Wayne Newton?

He's Sitting Bull.

Oh, figures.

Listen, if my mom asks, tell her that he's... What?

that he's one of the village people.

Roy Rogers?

Wyatt Earp? Oh, please, God.

Lisa, don't you recognize Tommy? Rock star of the 80s?

What are you, Arab white slavery?

Lawrence of Arabia.

New group?

World history. Remember Mrs.

Benson's class?

The Englishman. The great hero.

Oh, you're a hero. Come here. Hey,

Mom.

Hey, it's finished.

Thank you, Mom, because, you know, I really just didn't have the time.

Sure.

Hey, Tommy, man.

I couldn't figure out what they put in the sponge.

Man, it had a taste that I didn't even remember.

Yeah, that's right. Listen, Nick, you haven't seen Sheila, have you?

Well, no, man. I thought you were going to go by her house and pick her up.

Yeah, I was, but she said she had something to do first, you know,

something. Hey, man, how do you think we're going to do tomorrow night?

We're going to step it out tomorrow night. Don't worry.

Ralph.

Yeah, man, where is he?

Oh, he's over there trying to grab Lisa.

I think he finally found her.

I'll stop in a minute.

We need to move this. I'm afraid it'll get knocked over with this now.

You guys better be good.

We're good.

You know, good for kids.

It's just I don't know how we're going to seem to somebody who sees so many

groups all the time, you know?

Oh, you've got to think you're terrific.

Nathan thinks you can whip the world. You should all feel the same way.

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't do it if it weren't good.

It's just sometimes I don't know if I'm kidding myself.

This is fine. You can leave it there.

What's bothering you tonight?

I'd say something.

Well, where's Sheila?

Well, I was kind of wondering that myself.

In fact, I'm going to go over to her house and see if I can find her.

But thanks a lot for the party, Miss McDonald.

Thanks for the help. Bye -bye now.

But tomorrow night, fool, we'll kill him.

Cookie got into a little trouble in school today.

First time in her whole life.

A little trouble?

Well, she was smoking a cigarette and cutting class.

I don't understand it. I never smoked a cigarette in my whole life.

Where did she get these ideas from?

Television, I guess.

Well, it was just one cigarette.

You know, I'd have thought Cookie's too smart a little girl for that kind of

stuff.

Maybe she's not such a little girl anymore.

You know, I lost my virginity when I was 18.

And kids are growing so fast nowadays.

Well, what are you getting at, Lucy?

Cookie's not a virgin anymore.

What? Well, you know, she and that little boy, Nick. How long have you

about this? Pete, will you keep your voice down? You're going to wake up.

do better than that. Oh, Pete, now, come on. The child has been through enough.

Get out of that bed right now.

I said now.

What do you want?

You know very well what I want. How long have you been sleeping around? Answer

me. Sleeping around?

Is that what you go to that fancy school to learn? How to make a tram out of

yourself?

From now on, you are not leaving this house except to go to church and to go

school. But, Daddy, the senior show is tomorrow night, and I can't quit on my

friends. How can you do this to me?

You have been sneaking out of this house to be with that mixed mind.

If you want to live in this house, I'd better not hear that name in this house

again. But, Daddy. Don't pay.

Leave her alone. Leave her alone.

We'd better take her someplace where she can learn to keep her legs closed.

I just don't get it, Sheila. I mean, you said you'd meet me there. I stood

around looking like an idiot, you know? I never said that I would meet you

there. I said I would try.

I tried.

And I couldn't.

Oh, you couldn't?

Is somebody punishing you?

Forcing you to swim a thousand laps before morning? I couldn't because I

need to cut down on two seconds of my time.

No one is forcing me to do anything.

Either to swim or to go to that party.

I'm just getting really tired of this, you know? Talking to you while you're

always in the pool.

It's like having the sea between us, you know? Will you quit pacing?

Tommy, you are getting garbage in my pool again!

I've had it. Is there a phone I can use?

The pool phone doesn't work. Use the one in the house. My mother's there.

I'll call Ralph. I can't go back to the party.

Maybe go to the home and read a book on the care and feeding of guppies or

something. Oh, very funny, Tommy.

Very funny.

I'm a little bit tired of your water jokes, Tommy.

So if you don't mind... Tommy!

Diane?

Who is it?

It's me, Tommy.

Can I use your phone?

Oh, sure, Tommy. Use the one on the table.

How's it going with Sheila?

Why shouldn't I ask?

Don't.

Look, I'll just be a second.

Okay.

What are you doing?

What am I doing? I am conducting the L .A.

Philharmonic. I'm hanging a painting for me.

Well, you need any help?

I mean, as long as it's something that's not for Sheila's room. Now, don't be

bitter. I'm sure there's a reason for some of the things that she's doing.

You know, it could be worse. She could be on drugs.

Well, the amount of time she spends in that goddamn pool, she might as well be

on drugs.

Well, I don't know, and I'm not going to think about it anymore.

Maybe she doesn't feel clean.

Hello, Ralph?

Is Ralph there?

Would you get him, please?

Who's at the party?

Everybody. And it worked really good as PR for tomorrow night's show.

Excuse me. Hello, Ralph? The problem with this painting is it's just too big

this space.

Ask Lisa.

Yeah, Lisa, she's blonde, good -looking.

Yeah, it's her party.

I have the wrong party.

Sorry. I hate this kind of art anyway.

I don't know why we bought this stupid thing.

Hello, is this Lisa's house?

Who am I?

Is this Lisa's house or not? I mean, what difference does it make who I am,

jerk?

through, but I quit.

Everybody's had a party tonight, even wrong numbers.

But it's gonna be different tomorrow night.

Ralph's mother's bringing her agent friend, and I can feel it. We're gonna

him. A big summer tour.

Do you think it looks better next to the door?

Oh, Tommy.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure tomorrow will be really a big night for you.

Do you really like it here?

Looks all right there. It's a pretty picture.

Kind of makes me think about, uh...

Parks or playgrounds or something.

Well, that's not thinking. That's remembering.

Well, if you feel that way about the penny, you sure you want me to hang it?

My husband likes it.

Reminds him of parks and playgrounds, too.

Everybody wants to remember.

Yeah, but I don't have too much remembering to do. I mean, all about

But I like to look forward to things like tomorrow night. I mean...

I don't know. I just have a feeling.

Why don't I hold it up for you so you can take a look at it? Okay.

How's that?

That looks pretty good.

You want to stay there while I mark it?

Sure.

Get it? Yeah.

I can handle it now.

Oh, are you sure? I mean, I don't mind.

I sure don't feel like going back to that party.

Don't go.

Sure does beat down on wrong numbers.

I think I know what you mean about this picture, though.

You think that we hung it too close to the door?

No, it doesn't seem to say too much.

Damn it. These screws aren't in very tight.

It's not just a scratch.

Oh, it's deep scratch.

I'm going to get something to put on it.

Lisa, come on.

Tomorrow night, we're going to be big stars.

I don't want to.

Lisa, all night long, you've been promising me.

You just don't understand.

Lisa, I'm going to have to go outside and pick up a car bumper.

Can't you see I'm in pain?

Can't you see you're boring me?

Lisa.

Good night, Ralph.

There you go.

I'm sorry to have kept you for so long.

Oh, that's okay. I had nothing else to do anyway.

Let's see. I think I can get it now.

You know, Ralph knows a lot about art. He'd probably like this picture.

Could you hand me the picture?

This thing is really rickety.

But, you know, the way I look at it, we're really both after the same thing.

Well, it's really important for me and Sheila to succeed, except Sheila can do

it with her swimming, and for me, it's just one step at a time.

I've got to get up higher on the ladder. Could you hold on to me?

I'll get it.

Hello?

Hey, Cookie, you're late. Where are you?

Yeah, you can talk to Lisa. Hold on.

Hi. I can't be in the group anymore, Lisa.

My father won't let me.

What are you talking about?

The show's tonight.

He doesn't care about me, Lisa.

All he thinks about is his own tired self. All right, that's enough.

Man, I'm glad we're spending this time together. Let's just go to Las Vegas.

We're going to have a great time.

Lisa?

Lisa?

Lisa? What are you doing?

Lisa, I'm sorry. I can't come to your show tonight. I've got to swim.

Skip swimming tonight. You have to come with me to the show.

Lisa, no.

My folks finally went to Vegas, so nobody's going to be bugging me. And I'm

going to swim all night and day. All weekend.

Gotta cut four more seconds.

But you're gonna miss my debut.

I'll see your next one.

I thought I told you to stay in your room.

I'm only going to the bathroom.

I couldn't even make it on the gong show.

Hey, there's my mom.

Oh, no, and she brought some super big shot with her.

Yeah, but look at that guy out there. He looks pretty important.

Hey, Mix, Mix, is that guy out there important?

Come on, Flies, you're on.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, my sister. We'll be right there.

Come on, you're on stage.

We got a group prayer, right? Huddle up, you guys. We'll be right there.

Come on, you guys.

Okay, flies.

One minute.

One minute. All right.

I'm so glad you're here. Okay.

Get her.

Get the hospital.

Hurry up. Okay.

We'll be right there. On or out.

Come on, Mr. Stern. We'll be right there, all right?

John, do it right.

Why are you looking?

Hurry up. We're there. We're there. We're there.

Encore. Encore.

Go, cookie.

Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.

For God's sakes, come on. All right, you guys. Ten seconds. You made

it. You are in trouble.

Well, that's your motto, baby.

Live fast and die beautiful.

Let's put that song for Sheila in the number two spot again, all right?

Well, of course, she's not out there.

She's not?

No, don't you know by now she's nothing but a boring jock, wide -worlded sport?

Forget her.

tell me

He says, what are you doing? It's our first. I didn't do it. He'll dance.

I'm out of control.

What is the trick?

Hey, Lisa, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Listen now.

I've never seen anything so wonderful in my life.

I've never been so proud.

Mom, I'd rather not discuss it.

You've just seen the first and the last performance of the vlog.

Where's Sheila?

Sheila?

Where could she be?

She's probably still swimming.

I mean, what do you think we are, cretins?

I don't know. I liked it.

I didn't, man. We could make a movie better than that.

Yeah, right. I'll just take two million out of my bank account.

I mean, I'm serious, Ralph. You know, my daddy's got a movie camera with sound

and everything. All we'd have to do is... Well, we could make a remake of

wild one.

All right. I'll do Brando. Yeah.

Bella!

Maybe a little bogey.

What do you think? No, no, no. I mean...

I could be the director, and Cookie and Lisa can be, and I'm sure they could act

their brains out. Yeah, but what about film? That costs money.

You're always looking at the bad side of things, Ralph. We're going to be stars.

I wonder what it's like to be a star.

I wonder...

After all...