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Very tiny.

Two minutes.

Oh, look at that sweet baby.

Oh. Oh, he smells Mama.

You're precious.
Yeah. Are you precious?

Yes, look at Mama.
Look at your mama.

Wash your hands.
Hmm. Playing next.

Okay. Here too.

All right.

- History.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Okay. Sounds good.

I had no idea there was
anything wrong with him.

We had no issues.

Evan has a plate.

Mama has a plate.

And keep in mind
as we tell these stories,

we're talking about
the early '90s.

Look at Daddy. Look.

Look at Daddy. Good boy.

I'm not sure I'd ever heard
the word autism before.

If I had, it just didn't seem
to be a prevalent...

...topic.

- Say "hi" to Paul.
- Say hi, Paul.

Um, see you Sunday.

- All right.
- All right.

- Bye.
- Bye.

My name is Evan Mitchell James.

I was born on April 24th, 1991.

My dad is Dennis James.

My mommy is Beth James Burns.

I am a very special person.

Being a part of Evan's life

has 100% impacted me
in the best way

because he's got
contagious energy.

I still refer to him
as "my little boy,"

but he is a grown man
with autism.

He's talented.
He's a great mimic.

How are you? I'm fine.

He loves an audience.

If he knows
that he's got an audience,

he loves it,
and he's not stopping.

Evan sees the world
as his playground.

Nothing but play and fun

until we inconvenience him
with scheduled dinners,

baths, showers,
and brushing your teeth.

I think
he's much more intelligent

than people may assume he is.

I don't know.
I just think he's so cool,

and he shows his love
in, like, cool ways.

And I think
all those things go back

to what a great job
Beth had done with Evan.

I suspect that, at this point,

my label is Evan's mom at 60.

But I don't think
that totally sums up a person.

I have lots of hats,

and I think that may have been
the saving grace.

And that I have been able
to continue to wear lots of hats

other than just Evan's mom.

We are in the middle,
South Central Arkansas.

Population of about 18,000.

A hundred miles
from the nearest airport,

be it Texarkana,
Little Rock, Shreveport.

We have the Art Center,
Murphy Arts District.

We do a film festival.

For a little town,
we do have a lot of culture.

Being in a small southern town

proved to be
part of the solution for us,

and I think that people might
consider that a little unusual.

Take us to the beginning.

And b-- by the beginning,
I mean the beginning of Evan.

What about your wife, Chris?

Oh, forget her.
Me and her hardly talk anymore.

Well, Dennis and I--
You know, I was already 27

when Dennis and I got married.
He was 29.

You know,
there's a general expectation,

certainly of my generation,
you know,

that ultimately
you would get married
and you would have children.

Not having children

or not being able
to have children

didn't-- wasn't even part
of my imagination.

I was actually here when Beth
had one of her miscarriages.

And that was just heartbreaking.

I'd never gone through that
with anybody.

For the first time,
I was realizing
that life does not always

turn out the way
you think it's going to.

Because after the first
unsuccessful pregnancy,

I was like, "Okay, well, that,
that happens to people."

The second one, I was like,

"Oh, wow,
this is gonna be a deal."

We went to the doctor a lot,
we watched it a lot closer,

and we were able to have
a successful pregnancy.

I am one of his godparents.

He's actually--
I'm, I'm one of five.

They didn't trust me by myself.

But they made a video
and sent to me in California

of the first time
Beth was holding Evan.

Say, "I'm two weeks old,
and I'm precious."

He really was
just the most beautiful baby,

young child that you ever saw.

He, he really did-- He looked
like an angel. He really did.

See, go look at Baby Evan,
Jordan.

He crawled. He walked.

He was pleasant.
He was really pleasant.

I mean, we have a baby book.
It's really funny.

And here are
all of his pictures.

You know, his, his baptism,
his walking,

his family, his first home.

And then it,
and then it just kind of stops

because the next page
is first word.

He wouldn't respond
to even a simple instruction.

Like, "Come here."

So I thought, "I believe
he has a hearing problem."

So, I would do
little experiments.

Like, I would go
to the other part of the house,

and I would hit a key
on the piano

or play with the toy,

or start the movie,
and he would come.

"Okay, he doesn't have
a hearing problem."

He had a big birthday party
in their backyard,

and it would have been
about the time

he should have started
having some words,

but nothing noticeable yet.

It took a while for me
to convince anyone

that there was a problem

because he was so congenial,
and so handsome,

and so fun, and sweet, and kind.

I do think Dennis,

he always thought
Evan was gonna talk,

and he would just go,
"Why won't you talk to me?

Talk to me."

I finally did begin to do

a little investigating
on my own,

and I had come up
with the term autism.

I knew intuitively--
I didn't know what it was,

but I knew things were not going
as they should be going.

And so we put Evan
into speech therapy

until we could get an evaluation
at Children's Hospital.

I said, "Now, Dan, here's
what they're going to tell us."

And even to that night,
bless his heart,

he was in total denial.

"No, they're not."

"Yes, they are."

They did, in fact,
that day, tell us that

they believe
he suffered from autism,

not a developmental delay.

They used the big A word
plain as day.

They would say things
in that evaluation

like, "You'll probably never
be able to go to church.

You'll probably never
be able to go to a restaurant."

And I was thinking,
"We already do do those things."

They did tell me that he needed
to get occupational therapy,

and speech therapy,
and physical therapy,

and all these therapies,

which was the right advice,

but really, practical living,
it was pretty much...

..."Have a nice life."

And not because they were bad,

but because
they didn't know either.

I don't remember feeling angry.

I'm not even sure at that point
I even felt sad or disappointed.

Those things have come to me,
but at that point, it was just,

"Okay, we're taking
this three-year-old kid,

and we're gonna create
a life for him now.

Now, how do I learn
how to do that?"

Back in March,
when the COVID numbers

reached pandemic proportions,

we felt very insecure about him
being in an environment

that we could not control.

Transitions are very difficult
for autistic people in general,

but they're especially difficult
for Evan.

So, what we've learned over time

is that we need
to clearly explain

when there's going to be
a transition.

And since he's been with us
since March,

going back
to his regular schedule

is going to be a serious
emotional transition for him,

for which
he is not going to like.

So, what we've also learned
is when we do that,

if we'll write it down on paper
and tell a story about it,

he seems to understand,
begin to transition.

He can read it over and over
so he knows what to do.

So-- Yes, you'll understand.

So, that's what we're gonna do.

I've got my supplies,
and I'm gonna get Evan,

and we're going to write a story
about what we're about to do.

- Okay, Ev, it's-- We need to...
- Oh.

...write a story today.

Can you sit down?
Mom's got to write a story.

- Story.
- Story time. Okay?

- Story time.
- Are you ready?

Ready.

Okay. Today is?

Today.

What is today?

Sunday.

Today is Sunday.

Evan...

...has been...

"...staying at Madison House

with Mom and Paul
for a long time."

Evan...

...stayed with...

...Mom...

...and Paul

because many people...

...were sick.

"It is time
for Evan to go to..."

No, Evan.

- That's a no, no. Evan's house.
- Mmm-hmm.

Mom...

...will miss him...

...very much.

Oh!

Oh!

- Are you good?
- I'm good.

Go to Magnolia tomorrow?

- Yes?
- Yes.

You're a good guy.
I'm proud of you.

All right.

Anything you wanna say?

One two, three, four.

Yes, you can take
whatever you want.

...job.

Yes. Mom has a job.

Mom has to go back to her job,

and you have to go back
to your house.

Monday.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

Mom will come get you.

- See you Wednesday.
- Yes.

- Wednesday.
- Mmm-hmm.

- Wednesday.
- Okay.

Good job.

Robert.

Yes, Robert's there.

Uh-huh.

He doesn't usually get upset
when he's on a regular schedule.

We just do his schedule,
and he's okay with it.

So, him getting upset...

He usually just-- "Okay,
that's my life," you know.

But that, that hasn't
been his life, so...

Show Mom your book.

Um...

So, he was a little more upset
than he would normally be.

Normally, he just does
whatever he's supposed to do.

This is Dad.

- "Evan goes to college."
Yep.
- Yeah.

So, this is his sort of, like,
I-know-you book.

El Dorado is a small town.
My parents live there.

My sister actually was working
at the hospital

the night that Evan was born.

And then, you know,
two to three years after that

is when I had heard that

Evan had been diagnosed
with autism.

I had a close-knit family.

Dennis had a close-knit family.

We had a close group of friends.

I didn't feel the need
to try to hide him.

Beth had very limited resources.

Certainly locally.

I mean, she had to dig
and research

and find her resources herself.

There's no Internet,
there's no cell phone,

there's no Google,
there's nothing.

And so we were going
to have to help ourselves.

I've always said this,
that Dennis and I were similar.

In that, give us a problem.

We're gonna take to our beds

and pull the covers
over our heads,

and Beth is gonna figure out
what to do.

And she did.
And she discovered
the National Autism Society,

and they were having
their annual conference.

And we really thought,

"Since we know
nothing about autism,

let's go see what this is."

In Las Vegas of all places.

We were able
to gather information

that we had not had before.

I mean, we're trying
to immerse ourselves in it

and just absorb everything
that was being offered.

There were people out there
facing the same things we were.

None of us were really seeing
the answer for Evan.

There's no right or wrong.
There's no map.

I felt a certain sense
of confidence
that we could do it.

I just didn't know
how we were gonna do it.

I'd flown to Las Vegas,
but I did ride back in the car

with Beth and Dennis
to El Dorado.

We ended up driving
straight from Las Vegas
to El Dorado

because there was
not a hotel, motel,

anything available
all through that night.

And Beth had bought a book,

Let Me Hear Your Voice.

So, we had to stay awake.
So we read this book.

And it was written
by a woman in Manhattan

who had all the resources
of New York
right outside her door.

But again, like us,

it's like none of these
particular therapy programs

fit her autistic child.

So, she started taking
bits and pieces
from the different therapies.

Year four was a critical year
in the child's development,

to really do
these intense therapies.

And that's--
Evan was about to turn four.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Happy birthday.

Are you four?

There's Evan's name. E-V-A-N.

E-V-A-N, Evan.

Beth and Dennis
found a therapy clinic

in Memphis,
called Communication Station,

that was taking
a similar approach

to what we had decided
would be best.

Turn around this way.

You haven't opened this one.
You wanna try to open this one?

The theory at the time was
the best way to treat autism

was with behavior modification,

and you move
into this therapy environment.

I went for two weeks.
Dennis came for one.

You're going to have
to never assume

that he can learn anything,

that he's going to have to be
taught everything.

And this is going to take
hours and hours every day.

And here's how you do it. And...

Wow.

Yeah. We got to use
that pointing finger.

All right!

When you're trying
to bring him in,

bring him into your world,
give him the words,

give him the explanations,

it's not natural to them
like it is to you.

So, your level of frustration
is gonna be great,

but your level of understanding
has to be great too.

It's just your pointing finger.
There we go.

All right.

And if it's really gonna
be successful, your family's
gonna have to do it,

and your friends are gonna
have to talk to him this way.

Because at this point, still,

we have no means...

...of communication.

Oh, she's gonna ride in the car.

You want him to ride in the car
together with the pig?

He couldn't, wouldn't,
whatever you wanna call it,

even point to what he wanted.

Evan, you did a good job
with the puzzle...

...and the letters,
and I like it
when you... point.

Point.

And I can remember saying,
"Will there ever be words?"

And then they said,
"Well, we're gonna get some."

B-L-U-E.

Blue.

We were in Memphis
at Communication Station.

They said to me,
"Beth, what are the two things
he loves the most?"

I said, "Coke.

TV."

She said, "Now,
I want you to practice

a sign language
for 'I want TV'."

So, you know, um...

Okay.

She said, "We're starting there.

He will never get
TV or Coke again

until he says the words."

Cookie. Cookie.

I want cookie.

I want cookie.

So, when, you know,
when you say,
"What was Evan's first word?"

It was "Coke" or "TV."
One or the other. I don't know.

But that led us to

begin to learn to communicate
and have him communicate back.

- I...
- Want cookie.

Good. Excellent, Evan.
Very good.

We were going to have to use
everything in his senses

to teach him
about his environment.

When we did this first
little rudimentary book,

it's not all here anymore,
that's how many times

he's looked at it,
it just worked.

When I realized that he was
going to be able to read,

him reading the words
was one thing...

...but then we had to give him
the meaning of the word.

He could easily memorize
the word "table"...

...but there was no meaning
to the word "table."

So, there was a process in there
somewhere where I realized

his visual memory
was going to be excellent.

And that's where
we began the labeling
of everything in his world.

So, I'm walking around there.
I'm making these little cards.

You know,
cutting up construction paper,

a little card,
with a marker and some tape,

and I'm taping everything
in the house.

So, window had "window" on it,
chair had "chair" on it,

flower had "flower" on it.

And so, as we walked
around the house,

he saw the word,
he saw the thing.

Well, of course, then
pretty soon I realized that,

"Oh, if I put the word
'chair' on this chair,

then that's a chair.

Not everything
that looks like this
in this world is a chair."

So, now we have to have
the word "chair" on every chair

so he understands
the word "chair"
means all of these things.

Or the word "flower"
means not just this thing,

but it means
all of these things.

And that "dog" is a dog

regardless if it's brown,
or big, or little, or the--

All of these things are dog.

And as we would go,
we would share these things

so that everyone would know,

"Okay, now,
now we're doing this."

Use your pointing finger
and say...

- Evan.
- Evan.

- And... Grandma.
- Grandma.

Say, "Richard." Yes.

Beth's one of five children.

And their attitude is,
"We face it.

We deal with adversity,
whatever it is."

There is nobody in our family

that has ever shied away
from Evan.

His friends.

Nobody has ever
shied away from him.

Bringing him up as a family,
it was no question

of whether or not he was
gonna be included in our lives.

Beth makes you aware
of what needs to happen,

but also lets you know
that there's not any fear there.

They might have been afraid,

but just because
I didn't know what to do,

and they were willing to learn.

And everybody learned
exactly how they were supposed
to communicate with him

so that we could all be
on the same track.

And when it became apparent

that he was going to need
a helper, interpreter,

and that was at the point,
of course, that Richard
dropped the big bomb

that he was going
to come home...

...and he was going
to be that for him.

We were driving.

It started to occur to me
in the car,

but I, uh, kept it in my head
that I could do this.

So, I've committed
to coming back
to El Dorado for a year.

Richard went to school
with Evan...

...and he went
in the classrooms.

Richard was Evan's
inclusion therapist.

Uh, went to kindergarten
with him,
took him to therapies.

We brought the people
from Communication Station
to El Dorado.

My mom went, my sisters went,

my brothers went,
the friends went.

They came down to El Dorado
and trained me

in Evan's classroom,
in his house,

all of his normal environments.

I don't know if Evan would have
made it through preschool.

Without that,
I certainly don't think

that what happened to him
in the next...

...few years would have
been possible at all.

When we started
these therapies with him,

it was very frustrating to him

because he did not understand
what we were doing.

You know,
a change in temperature,

a lot of change in texture,

those were all issues.

I would have to hold his hand
in a bowl of shaving cream

for him to get used
to that texture.

You know, he could walk
into a room, and there'll be

a fluorescent
light bulb that's humming,

and not perceptible to us,
and it will freak him out.

I think he hears
more than we hear.

I think he sees
more than we see.

His senses are magnified.

When he's looking
at that yard of grass,

we see grass,
Evan may see one blade.

He eventually just realized
that I was gonna be putting him

in situations
that were new to him,

but that even started
to become a routine.

Yeah, I would go over
to their house
at six o'clock in the morning.

I mean, he's sound asleep,
I would throw him
in the deep end of that pool,

and he would just start
squealing with delight,
you know.

And it really helped him
get through the rest of the day.

And as you get the body to work

in sync with the mind,
the better the mind works.

Of course,
now that sounds so trite,

but 30 years ago,
we didn't understand

how the mind
and the body affected.

Or if we understood it,
we weren't--

The average person
was not practicing it.

Seeing him progress...

...and the bond
that formed between us...

...was, was the most rewarding
year of my life...

...and I'll always treasure that
and treasure him for it.

One of my best childhood friends
who does not live here now,

she came to visit,
and I introduced her to Evan.

You know, he was four
or five years old at this point.

She just goes, "Oh, Richard,
he's, he's your soulmate."

And she was right.

He really is.

Evan, what do you want to eat?

Chicken strips, French fries,
and ketchup. Drink is Sprite.

Okay. That's what I figured.

To him, everything is a video.
That's how his brain works.

And just like if you say
what are the specials today,

he recites
the whole Cat in the Hat.

Are there some specials today?

We got lots of specials today.

Fried eggs and ham.

Ham on a moo.

Ham soufflé, and with cheese.

Ham on toast.

Glazed ham.

Ham fritters.

Minced ham.

Rum ham.

Ham kabobs.

Ham pulled pork.

Ham in the morning.

Ham, ham, ham.

All the lovely ham.

I am. I am.

All right. Well, I guess
that's what I'm having.

Being in El Dorado, we realized
that we had a village

of very loving, dedicated people

that were family and friends
of Beth and Dennis's

that, that picked up
all the slack.

There are times
where you get very tired.

Well, i-- it makes
the difference,

you know, for someone to say,
"I'll do that,"

or "I'll take them somewhere,"
or "I'll, um...

...I'll pitch in for you."

Somebody had a day
that they would

pick up Evan,
and then with that person,

you had a specific routine
that you did.

You know, he is very regimented,
and no surprises.

And it meant
you only had him two hours.

I mean,
it wasn't a long block of time.

It's not about the hour

as much as it is
about the acceptance.

To give you the space

that you need to do
something normal.

And it's not about
doing something special,

it's about doing
something normal.

It gave Evan a social life,

and it gave Beth and Dennis
their lives back too.

And I would accept help
from anyone

who had Evan's best interest
at heart, mine, Dennis's.

Beth knew that he was tended
and taken care of...

...with someone who loved him
and cared about him.

And he was-- He is still,
he is very intriguing.

I mean, he's hysterical.

Evan, you're so weird.

You have no idea.

I was one of the few people
at that point

that Evan was comfortable,

um, and, and Beth and Denis
were comfortable

leaving him with me.

Uh, I don't know
where they went,

but they, they were doing
something that night.

So, Evan came up and stayed
with me in my apartment.

"Richard is a great
baby sister."

- Babysitter?
- Babysitter.

And I was just letting him
do his thing.

I think I was doing
some kind of domestic drudgery.

But I was walking, you know,

in and out of the bathroom
and past him.

And, and I just looked
down at him,

watching him make faces
in the mirror just constantly,

and I said,
"Evan, you're so weird."

He goes, "You have no idea."

He'd never put a sentence
together in his life.

And I dropped
whatever I had in my hand.

I turned around, and it's like--
it was like The Exorcist.

I mean, I didn't know
what was happening.

Come to find out, and it took
a while to figure it out,

this was, uh, in The Lion King.

You're so weird.

You have no idea.

And that's exactly
where that came from.

Here's your schedule.

So, I will, uh,
put this in his room,

and every once in a while,
you'll see him reading it.

So, he reads it kind of
over and over and over again

until he gets it in his head
what it is he's supposed to do.

So, that's pretty much
the process.

A variety of responses
that he might have

as the day goes on
in between now

and when we pack
our bags tomorrow.

The, uh, erasing of the schedule
on his iPad

is sort of, like, trying to say,
this is not gonna happen to me.

If it's not my iPad
or it's not my schedule,
it's not gonna happen.

Do you like to go back?

- Do you like to go back?
- Go back.

Go back, back, back...

I know-- Listen,
I know you don't want to.

Evan, Evan, Evan.

- But... don't be--
- Nope.

Don't be mad or sad.
It's just for a couple of days.

- I get it.
- Ouch.

I know.

I know.

- Shut up.
- Oh, okay.

- Oh, pack a bag.
- Yeah. Tomorrow.

You have to go back. Pack a bag.

Yeah, tomorrow.

- Okay?
- Bag. Okay.

Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm?

When it was time
to put him in public school,

we knew that he needed to be
in a regular classroom.

How do you teach someone
normal behaviors

if they're not around
normal behaviors?

And how do you get
people to understand
people with disabilities

if they're not around them?

But he knew everything
a kindergartner was supposed to.

He had some words.

We have never,
to this day, acquired
conversational language.

You cannot have
a conversation with Evan.

I'm not f--
I haven't figured it out yet.

But due to the language
acquisition that we've done,

he has learned
how to express himself,

and he can tell you
what he wants and needs.

There were points
I look back on,

and I must have been
extremely naive,

because I thought
someone would ask me like,

"What would you like
to happen to him
as he enters public school?"

So, I'm thinking, "Okay,
he's-- he knows all the stuff."

Yes, he doesn't-- can't have
a conversation with him.

Yes, he continues
to have sensory issues.

But I still,
on the other hand, say

he deserves to be included
in a classroom.

He has the knowledge,

and that's his least
restrictive environment,

which was the law at the time.

And Beth,
knowing what she knew...

She knew her rights as a parent.

She knew district policy.

Legally, she had the right
to have him
in a regular classroom

and request the school district
to provide an aide

to assist for him
to be in the classroom.

So, we go
for the preschool meeting,

and the, uh,
special education person
from the public school said,

"All right, well,
Evan James will be placed

in the self-contained classroom
at so and so, so and so, so..."

- I said, "Pardon me."
- Putting him in a self-contained
special ed classroom

was the only thing
that the school district
was offering.

And Beth was like, "No, he's got
to be in a regular classroom

'cause he's gonna emulate
whatever behavior he's around."

None of those people
were bad people.

This was an unusual situation.

It was an unusual request.

It was going to require things

that had not been
required before.

I understood that.

At the same time...

...it was going to happen.

And so we came
to an impasse that day.

Let me say
he went to the regular classroom

with, uh, an aide.

She said, "There's no way that

Missy's gonna be able
to do this by herself."

So, we had Diane Smith
as an aide.

We had Valerie Barnes
as an aide.

And they came,
and they would sit with Evan

to make sure
that he was on task,

but they also would help
the other students.

So, it wasn't just Evan.

And then there were
other students that came.

And she was somebody
that those parents

could go and talk to
and learn from.

Consequently, through the years,

there was lots of training
that was done.

And several students with autism
ended up at Hugh Goodwin

because of the training
that those people

had taken upon themselves
to get and took seriously.

There were some people there,
some of the best...

...classroom teachers
and therapists
that I have ever met

in-- no matter
where I've been in this country.

Really, growing up
with him in school

was where I learned,
or I was impacted most by him.

There weren't very many children
like Evan at the time.

That wasn't something that
the world really knew about,
and especially El Dorado.

But I do think
that now that his impact
on everyone's awareness

has probably made a 360.

As Evan progressed through this,
we were going to take

as many people with us
as we could.

If you get
the appropriate therapies
and, and that sort of thing,

you are going
to have a better life.

There is just no way around it.

Mary Pat was seeing that
in her classroom.

There were five of us
that came together

and wanted to create
HOPE Landing.

So, a child with special needs--

It was a one-stop shop,

but it, it serves
the whole family.

It wasn't just the child.
It was the child's family.

By this time,
they're talking about it.

They're talking
about water therapy,
and horse therapy,

and all those kinds of things
that are really, really making
a difference for kids.

There was a movement,
and we were able

to start planning
for what we felt

what would be a peaceful setting

that provided traditional
as well as
nontraditional therapies

in support for entire families

without being based
on whether you could pay or not.

It was a huge idea

for a small Southern town
to be able to pull that off.

So, how's Evan been
over the last, uh, 24 hours?

Um, didn't go to sleep
very well last night.

So, it was kind of a late night.

And he was afraid,
when Paul took him for an ice,

that he wouldn't bringing him
back to get his stuff.

So, he's a little

nervous, but he hadn't...

...been terrible.

I can't help you much.

- Go to the movies.
- We'll try
to go to the movies,

but right now, we need to pack
your bag to go to group home.

- First?
- Yes.

Okay. No one's going to get it
till you come back. I promise.

Shut up.

Listen, you need
to pack your bag.

Pack your bag.

Wow.

Yes, yes, you have to go back

because I've got things
I have to do.

- Pack your back.
- Pack a bag.

That's all?

- "Mickey and Donald
Have a Farm!"
- Okay.

- It's "The Many Adventures
of Winnie the Pooh."
- Okay.

That's all? No books?

That's a no, no.

"Dr. Seuss's ABC."

"The Cat in the Hat."

- And "Green Eggs and Ham."
- Okay.

Now, do you want DVD player?

What's next?

I see owl. Do you?

Owl.

Do you want this in here?

"Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss."

- That's it?
- That's it.

Group home first.

Yes, you're going
to the group home tonight. Yes.

- Ready to go?
- Yeah, Paul's truck.

- Go to the movies.
- We're gonna try.

- We're gonna try.
- Okay.

- Car.
- We're gonna go
in Paul's truck today, okay?

Oh. Truck.

I know we usually go
in Mom's car, but

we're gonna go
in Paul's truck today.

You can sit in the front, Evan.

You wanna sit at front
or in the back?

- Doesn't want.
- Yeah.

Hi, everyone.

Okay, here we are.

Here's a cat in a hat.

I know. Did you miss it?

I miss it.

You did? You pretty happy?

You happy?

Yeah.

All your movies. Wow.

"When I wish to make a wish,

I wave my hand
in a swish, swish.

Then I say, 'I wish for fish.'

And I get fish right on my dish.

So, if you wish to wish a wish,

you may swish for fish
with my Ish wish dish."

Would you make sure
there's some toilet paper
in there, please?

- Remember.
- Remember.

Loving Father, Son
and the Holy Spirit.

Father, Son,
and the Holy Spirit.

- You gonna do good?
- Do good.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

Okay.

- All right.
- You all right.

- When am I gonna see you?
- See you.

I'll pick you up...

- See ya Wednesday.
- Wednesday. Okay, good.

All right.

- You okay?
- You okay?

Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

- Love ya.
- Love you.

See you later. Say bye.

Bye.

Things were progressing
with Evan,

and, you know,
we were dealing with

each new year's
set of circumstances.

Dennis was in a play,
Dearly Departed,

and Dennis was getting
very bad bruises.

It got to the point where
Dennis did show the bruises

to Matt Callaway, his doctor,

and Matt
was immediately alarmed.

APL.

And I can't tell you
the A and the P,
but the L is leukemia.

Just me and my dad.

Th-- That just pulled the rug
out from under everybody

because we did not,
of course, see that coming.

And there is-- Okay.

There is... You do it.

For me, personally,
for the village,

there was kind of
a shift in focus

from what we were going to do
for people like him
and in his future

and to "Oh, my goodness,

now... what are we
gonna do about this?"

"My mom and dad...

...are Beth and Dennis James."

Dennis was, um...

Well, he was special.
That's all I'm gonna say.

Sometimes you can
just look at Evan,

and you, you can see Dennis.

"My eyes are blue,
just like my daddy's."

The village
had to rally for this

because we had Evan,
who needed attention,

and now we had Dennis
in the hospital

for who knows how long
in Little Rock.

Over the next three years,

he continued
to... seek treatment.

He had periods of remission.

You know, you couldn't
really explain to Evan

what was going on.

I mean, there,
there wasn't a way to explain

that kind of concept to Evan.

"Daddy."

It was just a very rough time.

But once again...
Stupid me.

I felt like
it w-- wouldn't be easy,

but we would make it.

And so, for three years,
we did treatments.

Friends would help,
go sit with Beth

or take shifts
to go sit with Dennis

so that he wasn't by himself.

And we see the reemergence
of a community of people

willing, once again,
to reach out and, and lift up,

and support, and care

with no... judgments.

We thought we were beating this.
We really did.

Against all odds, we thought
we were beating the cancer.

I mean, he endured a lot,

but he still--
he kept his sense of humor.

In the beginning, he did,

but it was,
it was just painful to watch.

For me, he was a, um,

a constant in my life,
a constant male in my life.

And he meant a whole lot to me.

It's Daddy. It's Daddy.

It would have been a long shot

if he would have had
long-time survival

with, with his--
th-- this form of leukemia.

And, um, he...

I will say this.

I've never seen anybody fight,
fight harder than he did to--

Because he knew
what it would mean to Evan...

...for him to, um, not make it.

♪ I have often walked
down this street before ♪

♪ But the pavement always
stayed beneath my feet before ♪

♪ All at once am I
several stories high ♪

♪ Knowing I'm on the street
where you live ♪

♪ And, oh the towering feeling ♪

♪ Just to know
somehow you are near ♪

♪ The overpowering feeling ♪

♪ That any second ♪

♪ You may suddenly appear ♪

Because Dennis did die
in the hospital,

and Evan was not with me,

there was gonna be-- have to be
a communication of that.

And so all the way home,
I kept thinking, "Now--"

uh, everything I know
about Evan.

I knew that he had some
basic religious understandings.

The Lord bless you, keep you.

The Lord make His face shine
upon you and be gracious to you.

The Lord...
and give you His peace.

Amen.

And anytime that I could
communicate something with him

in a picture or words,
he was going to understand.

So, I came home, and I got a...

...picture board of heaven.

What you would--
You know, heaven. It was a--

Clouds, and the sky.

And I got a picture of Dennis,

and a picture of an angel,
and a picture of Jesus.

And I put them all together

and explained to him
that Dad had gone there,

um, and he was with Jesus.

And just like
we didn't see Jesus,

we wouldn't see Dad anymore.

Now, I will say this.
There's a difference between...

...death and grief.

R-E-D...

...spells red.

Roll two, scene Richard,
take one, mark.

Beth, interview B, take one.

When Dennis died,
we, we all felt like

we'd had the rug pulled out
from under us.

And, and for months...

I mean, many, many months,

we were just walking around,
um, like zombies.

Lot of Evan's,
um, therapies early on

were about emotions.

We did a lot of emotion
expression therapy.

He had to learn
to read people's faces.

And so he would look at me,
and I would know that

when he looked at me that
I had to have a look on my face

that I was calm,
that I wasn't sad,

that I was okay, and I was
gonna make it through the day.

And he would really examine me.

He, um, he really reads
people's expressions.

Everything he does
is in pictures.

Either in his mind,
he would take
an Instamatic photograph

of something on a television.

Since the beginning,
Evan has been obsessed

with taking, uh, photographs.

He has always,
um, taken pictures

of the TV screen
and put them together.

We can't quite figure out
what it means,

but to him, he's putting
a sequence of things together.

He takes expressions,

a series of expressions,
many times,

and then there's always a...

...like, a couple blank screens.

Like, that's the end
of that movie

or an end of that thought
before he begins...

...another series.

He missed his daddy.

And so he was carrying
these 50--

Zero to 50 pictures.

They were numbered.

And I said,
"Beth, what do they mean?"

She said, "I don't know."

So, she went somewhere one day,
and I said,

"Evan, let's put
your pictures out."

So, we-- he laid them out
in order on the kitchen floor.

And I said, "Give me words
for these pictures."

Ah. Oh, my gosh,
talk about communicate.

Don't say he can't communicate.

It started out with pictures
from home, happy times.

And then it was a series
of scenes from The Lion King.

And it was sad. Cry, sleep, cry.

I mean, he had a word
for every picture.

It was amazing.

We spent one Saturday,

and we put it together in a book
called Me and My Dad.

"I miss my daddy.

I'm not...

I wish

that he were still living

at the new house
with Mama and me."

He was so smart
to go and find that

and give words to his emotions,

and then he could convey it
to someone else.

That just blew me
out of the water.

One of my favorite examples
of the village rallying.

Evan's-- The birthday
after Dennis had died,

Beth asked
all her teenage friends

if they would dress
as Disney characters

and come to her house and be
part of Evan's birthday party.

So, there was Cinderella,
Tigger.

All of these,
like, eight to ten people,

showed up in costumes

just to make Evan happy
and feel better.

There was a change.

With Dennis's death,
there was a change.

It kind of turned my focus from

training, teaching to...

...planning for a future

because I'm all he has.

It was apparent to me
life skills, a safe environment

were going to become
the important things,

not whether or not
he was in a normal classroom.

What you doing?

- Did you do good?
- Do good.

You did? Was it okay?

- Is it okay?
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Did you miss me?

- Miss me?
- Yeah.

- You gonna go home with me?
- Go home.

Okay. Get your stuff.

Go and get your stuff, baby.

- Evan's stuff.
- He's been
very good today.

He has? Well,
thank you for helping--

- Evan's stuff.
- You're welcome.

Evan's stuff.

She gonna help him, isn't she?

I love these,
but I don't need to eat.

Your class
is pretty small today.

Well, yeah. We got two more...

Great.

All right, let's go.

See you, Evan.

- See you, Evan.
- Bye, Evan

Hey, Ev. Hey, Evan.

Come here.

- Say "See you next week."
- See you next week.

- See you next week.
- See you next week,
Evan.

Bye.

After Dennis passed away,
it had been a couple of years,

and Beth's sister, Heidi,

was talking
with Paul's sister, Laura.

They had been friends
from high school.

And knew that Beth and Paul
had dated many years before.

I met Beth in the spring of 1983
at El Dorado High School.

Heidi, my sister, is in
the same class with his sister,

and we all have to go
to this event.

It was love at first sight.

She walked up the sidewalk.
I was introduced to her.

I mean, it was like
the conversation never ended.

And so we dated for some months,

and then we got engaged.

You know? Isn't that what you do
when you're in your twenties?

We considered getting married,

and things just did not work out
for us at that point in time.

And we were
mutually hurt by that,

and parted as friends.

I didn't see her again
until 2007.

Paul's sister, in fact,
had returned to El Dorado

to teach nursing
at the community college.

So, I ask about Paul.

And, you know,
"Things didn't work out

exactly as he had intended,
but he's got five children."

I said, "Oh, my gosh."

I think she was thinking,
"He still has no sense at all,"

you know, with that many kids.

I said, "Well, you tell him,
um, that I asked about him."

I was coming down for a visit.

And Heidi and my sister, Laura,

decided that they wanted
to get Beth and I

back in the same room together.

"What if next time
Paul comes to town...

...we fix them up?
We all go out to dinner."

And she goes, "Oh, it would
make them so uncomfortable.

Wouldn't that be great?"

"Paul's gonna come to El Dorado,

and we're all gonna
go out to eat,

and we want you to come along."

And I said,
"Have you lost your mind?"

And I said,
"Oh, come on. Come on.

It'd be fun to catch up."

It had only been a year
since Dennis had died,

and no one was breaking
down my door,

but I had made it pretty clear
that I was unable,
at this time, to,

uh, move forward in that sense.

And I went to dinner
with my sister at Fayrays,

and I did not know
what to expect.

And she walks in.

She and I looked at each other,
and she sat down by me.

We all sat to where she was
gonna have to sit beside him.

And the conversation
just started all up again

and, uh, never stopped.

They never once put us
in the conversation.

They never on--
We weren't there.

She said, "Would you like
to come back and-- to my house

and-- so we can keep talking,
and, and you can meet Evan?"

Uh, that was my first--

that was my first encounter
with Evan, that night.

There is something very soothing
about that that, you know...

I've said very often
that he probably saved my life.
He probably did.

I think, when I left
that evening, we both realized

it was divine intervention.

I didn't know really
if I would see him again,

and it wasn't too much later
that I got an email from him.

That was back in the days
when you emailed, you know.

This is before texting
and stuff like that.

And, you know, he kind of said,
"I'm probably gonna keep on

emailing you and calling you
and probably coming to El Dorado

because, uh, I lost once,
I'm not gonna lose twice."

I can't imagine coming
into all this like Paul did.

I mean,
he's got five of his own,

and yet Evan was

part of Paul.

Even though he didn't know crap

about what to do
about Evan, you know,

he was stunned
by the whole thing.

He never really
shied away from that.

My own relationship with Evan
took a very, very long time

to become what it is today.

All right. Are you ready
to go get an icee?

- Yes.
- Yes? Would you like my phone?

Yeah?

- What--
- Austin and Weston.

- Not this weekend. Next--
- Not.

- Next time.
- Not yet.

Get in the car.

There's a green triangle.

Uh-huh.

There's a green triangle.

Uh-huh.

There's an orange...
Right.

I understood his habits

and got those down a lot quicker

and a lot easier than I did...

...his form of communication.

When I first started going
back and forth,

Beth and Evan would drive me
to the airport.

I remember
one time in particular...

...towards the beginning
of all this,

he's walking
back and forth in front of me

with a book in his hand,

and it's a book
about going to the airport,

and what you do
when you go, you know?

We go to the airport
to take trips.

And I realized
in the middle of all this,

he was ready
for me to go.

I won't say everything he did
was purposeful,

but I would say
the majority of it was.

I mean, he had a little message
and everything.

- Mmm-hmm. Always.
- Really, especially there
in the beginning

that we did, we did together.

Especially if it's
a verbalization
or if it's a direct

- interaction with a person...
- Mmm-hmm.

...he is trying
to say something.

So, if he doesn't have the words
for what he says,

then he's going to replace it
with an action

or some kind of verbalization,

trying to get you to understand
what it is he wants.

"Christmas
is my favorite holiday."

Look into the mirror.

I love it!

I love it!

I knew you would.

♪ Rudolph
the red-nosed reindeer ♪

♪ Had a very shiny nose ♪

♪ And if you ever saw it ♪

♪ You would even say it glows ♪

♪ Then one foggy Christmas Eve ♪

♪ Santa came to say ♪

♪ Rudolph
with your nose so bright ♪

♪ Won't you guide
my sleigh tonight? ♪

♪ Then how the reindeer
loved him ♪

♪ As they shouted out
with glee ♪

♪ Rudolph
the red-nosed reindeer ♪

♪ You'll go down in history ♪

- Great job!
- Yay!

When we did begin to see each
other on a consistent basis,

we made a promise
that no matter what we did,

not his children
or mine would suffer.

We made a commitment to,

you know,
pursue this relationship.

I was kind of getting
used to the idea that

he might be my boyfriend
or something,

but I was not interested
initially in,

like, oh, getting married.

I mean, I had a job.
I was in El Dorado.

He was in St. Louis.
Paul-- Evan was in school.

I was in no way going
to, to leave that for that.

So I told Paul, I said,
"I'm never gonna meet your kids.

Come when you can.
We'll have a great time.

That's where
this thing is going."

And I said, "'Cause I'm not--
I can't meet those kids."

Paul's kids were wonderful.
You know, they love him.

I mean, he is their brother.

But now, if you ask him
who they are,

he's gonna list them in order.

Grace, Kenny, Jackson, William,

Caroline, Aston,
Watson and Dan.

Ready, set, go!

My dad did give
us a forewarning and said,

"She's gonna be here
when you get home from school."

And we got home from school,

- and she was just sitting
at the counter...
- She was.

...and her makeup was perfect,

and everything
was just together.

- Mmm-hmm.
- And she just had, like, a...

She just has, like, a presence.

- She does.
- And she was very striking

- from the get-go.
That was my first impression.
- Yeah.

Yeah, it was, like, an ad--

an adjustment for us.

Obviously, someone new
in the house with her and Evan.

But it's also, like,
an adjustment for her

- 'cause we're--
we're us, you know.
- Big adjustment.

- Like, it's-- Yeah.
- Big adjustment.

There was five of us,
and most of us were teenagers.

And my dad's not
a low-maintenance kind of guy.

And we are not exactly, um--

- We got some maintenance to us.
- Yeah. We...

- We weren't easy.
- She told us, um,

a while back
that she would hear us

every once in a while going...
"Where is she?"

- "Where is she?" Yeah.
- "Where is she?"

When she first was
spending a lot of time up there

and we didn't know her
very well, we'd all kind of--

Or if we wanted something,
we'd send, like,

one, one-- usually the cut--
the cutest kid out--

- "You go. You go."
- You know, like...
Yeah.

It really was like
she never skipped a beat.

I'm sure she did
in her own private time.

But, to us,
it just seemed very--

I don't know.
It's just-- It's always been...

It's always felt natural.
Like how it should be.

And then came the time
for them to actually meet Evan.

And, you know,
kids are just different.

They're just resilient.

Whenever we actually
got down there,

Beth was talking to us,
and Evan just came in

with these pile
of sugar cookies.

- I think there were,
like, six of them.
- Yeah.

She just turned around
and suddenly goes, "No, sir,"

and took, like,
three or four of them away.

And he started following her
around, around the house saying,

- "No, sir. No, sir."
- Yeah.

And that was,
that was our first-- that was

- my first impression of-- Yeah.
- That was my first time

ever seeing Evan,
my first experience.

- And I just thought, "He's mad."
- Yeah.

- This, this is what it is.
Let's, let's go.
- Yeah.

I think, at first
we put a big emphasis

on just making everything
as smooth as possible for him.

We went about our regular lives,

and you just added in
this other variable.

They never really seemed
to skip a beat.

I think it says something
for them. You know,
what kind of people they are.

There was a lot of change
growing up.
A lot of moving around.

Anything that's different
just kind of flows naturally.

Beth made a book
about people getting married.

People in her family.

People in my family.
Her and Dennis.

People in the Disney movies
or the other movies he used
to like getting married.

When we got married, it was
kind of generally accepted that,

as crazy as it would seem,
I would stay in El Dorado,

and he would stay in St. Louis.

We just decided
that's the way it was gonna be.

So, we still were doing school,
going to work,

trying to travel
on the weekends.

That's a lot.

I was committed,
and so was Beth.

We were committed to both Evan,

and we were committed
to the five other children.

It was a balance
in making all that work.

So, we finally decided
that when Evan turned 18

and didn't have to go
to school anymore,

I would quit my job,
and we would have to--

Evan and I would have
to go to St. Louis.

I was sort of excited.

We're gonna go to a big city.

I had done a lot of research.

There was
an autism community there.

We'll be able to take advantage
of all sorts of resources

that we haven't had or...

"Maybe I-- maybe there's things
I don't know about."

Maybe we had a better chance
of finding facilities

and post-high school life
for him.

That did not turn out
exactly as planned.

One evening, it was
just Beth and Evan and I,

and he kept turning off the TV.

And I would turn it back on,
and he would turn it off,

and I would turn it on,
and he would turn it off.

And Evan just reaches down
and grabs my hand,

and grabs my wedding ring

and starts trying
to pull it off my finger.

Evan made it very clear
that he was mad
about the whole darn thing,

and he was mad at Paul
because...

for having caused
the whole darn thing.

And he wasn't happy.

Evan had been in his room there
at the St. Louis house,

and... for some reason,
I had-- I walked into his room.

There was one of the books

that I think
Mary Pat had made for him.

Me and My Dad.

It was about him and his father.

And he had been looking at it.

"Dad."

He didn't wanna forget him.

That moment, as hard as it was,

I think it, it helped him get
some things out of his system

that he couldn't communicate.

I really think
it helped me to make sure

I wasn't afraid to talk
about his dad to him.

Because before all that,
I didn't.

After all that, I did.

That was our moment,

and it was pretty damn good
after all that.

She had every intention
of creating a life in St. Louis.

And there just--

It never was that comfortable
of a fit, especially for Evan.

When it didn't work,

I think it rocked us
on our heels a little bit.

He would just look at me like,
"What, what are you doing,
Mother? What are you thinking?"

I mean, I could almost see that
in his face

when I would pick him up,
like...

..."What are we doing here?"

And he would just look at Beth
and go, "Pack a bag. Airplane."

He's like, "Take me home now."

You know, he didn't have a life
outside of the house at all,
and he was totally used to that.

Go anywhere in the community
and know people,
and they know him, and...

I think, in retrospect,
it was a lot to expect of Evan.

And he did his best to adjust
till he just couldn't.

His body literally
just had stress responses.
I know he had seizures.

He was kind of taken away from
everything he knew growing up.

And, like, the way I think
about that, for me, it's like...

I mean, like,
"Would it bother you?"

Probably, you know.
And there you go.

In retrospect, I feel kind of
stupid having thought

that he was gonna be happy,
or that we could find

all those things
that I perceived in my mind

had to have been missing
from our experience.

And the one thing
that we really needed,
we already had.

I don't know, the El Dorado,

the place is, like,
what's home to him

as much as the people there,
and getting pulled from that

- was really hard for him,
I think.
- Yeah.

He missed his community.
He missed his friends.

And it was almost like
we had instilled in him
so much community.

We made the decision...

...albeit sadly, that

the best thing for Evan would be
to come back down to El Dorado.

Paul said to me,

"Pack your bags
and take him home."

It wasn't me having
to go to him and say,

"I gotta..."
You know, "I gotta go."

He came to me.

And so we...

...packed our bags
and came home.

And so I went to work
at the community college

to create a pilot program
in El Dorado, Arkansas,

to include people
with developmental disabilities
on the college campus.

Beth contacted me.
She was the new program director
of the Stepping Stones Program,

a newly-formed program
at the college

that gave people
the opportunity to do things

that they would never have
gotten to do on their own.

My friend Jason here had always
wanted to be a firefighter.

So, through
the Stepping Stones process,

Jason was able to train,

and he was able to come up
to the El Dorado Fire Department

and be a firefighter with us.

She's a mentor to me.

And she, she helped me
get an internship,

and... I'm, I'm happy
that she did.

They made as big an impact on me
as I made on them, I think.

But I also feel incredibly lucky

to have been a part of that
for, for even a short time.

In the meantime,
at my house...

...my issues with my child
were still unsolved.

"Evan goes to college."

"One day, Evan and his mom
got in the car

and drove to a place called..."

"Magnolia."

I was getting
a little more desperate,

a little more afraid
something would happen to me.

And now we weren't in St. Louis,

and now Evan was by himself,
and ugh, ugh, ugh.

I-- I'm getting old.

And he doesn't have the patience
with his old mother.

And, you know,
there's a lot of--

There were a lot of dynamics
going on.

We-- 'Cause we were there.
Just me and him.

You want to stay here all day?

She comes home
from church one Sunday

and she calls me and she says,

"I ran into Ralph Weiser
at church today."

He had been instrumental
in creating programing

for people
with developmental disabilities,

that sort of stuff, in Magnolia.

I had no idea
that in my little backyard,

there was
this little place over here.

He said, "I'd like to show you
around" or something.

And I pulled up to this place,

and there was a day program
for preschoolers

with developmental disabilities,
and adults.

She went over to look at it,
and it was the perfect situation
for Evan.

All of the group homes
that I had been interested

in looking at,
people shared rooms.

And I knew that Evan James
was never gonna share a room
with anyone.

And he said, "Yeah,
there's five rooms on one side
and five rooms on the other."

I said, "You mean
everyone has their own room?"

"Yeah." Well, of course,
Monday morning,

I was on the phone, and I said,
"I might be interested some time

in Evan getting on the list
to live in the group home

and maybe
go to the day program."

And she said, "Beth,
from what I understand,

Evan's at the top of the list."

And she said,
"Evan, when men turn 21,

they go to college in Magnolia.

So you are going
to college in Magnolia."

It's how it started.

"Evan gets a house."

"Just around the corner
from Evan's college,

there's a beautiful house
where really nice people live."

Honestly, the first time
she took him over
to see the group home,

and we were so nervous
about that,

he met everybody,
he saw his room,

he, he saw the whole house,

and he just go-- turned to Beth
and said, "I love it."

"They ask Evan
if he would like to live there.

Evan and Mama decided it would
be a great place to live."

The plan sort of happened to me,

and when it did, I felt okay.

And I had never felt
okay about it.

And then she fixed up his room.
Of course, the cutest room

with The Cat in the Hat
and Dr. Seuss.

And at first,
it was just a few days.

It was a slow integration.

I got two minutes,
and I'm gonna take it in there.

Put it up.

Put it up.

- Are you good?
- Are you good?

I was as scared for him to do it
as he was to do it.

And so our transition
was very slow for him,

even spending the night.

Evan is going to be
able to go to Magnolia

and have a chance
to become as independent

as life will allow him to be.

But something did happen...

...uh, about this time.

Boom. We find out
that Evan's got Crohn's.

About 40% of people with autism
also have Crohn's disease.

He was in excruciating pain,

and I had no idea
what to do with him.

Hospitalizations and procedures
and illness and weight loss.

He was developing rectal abscess

that were requiring
incredibly painful surgery.

And I'm like, "Oh, great.

You know, we got autism,
we have seizures,

and now we have this."

He learned,
"Well, if I don't eat,
I don't go to the bathroom,

so maybe I won't eat."

I mean, it was just miserable.

Once again, here's Beth

who gets one of
the over-the-door shoe racks,

and that's Evan's medical,

so he could tell her
what he needed.

Like, she would have
the different creams,
the gloves, and...

"What do you need?
What do you want?"

So he could help communicate
what he needed.

So, at that point,
we took Evan back to St. Louis.

You would start to get
a handle on things,

and then they call you up
on the phone at work and say,

"We just did a scan on him,
and his, uh, his appendix
is about to rupture.

You know, you have to get him
to the hospital immediately."

I don't know how he did it.

It almost killed him,

um, in, in fact.

I'd never seen her

almost to the point
of being hopeless.

I mean, that's just not Beth,
but she was about there.

But all of our people
aligned again

from just out of the blue

to guide us
through another situation.

Crohn's is in remission.

He's gone from having
to have monthly infusions

to, um, monthly injections.

It's still something that...
they have to stay on top of,

but it is under control
right now.

He is-- Continues
on that medicine today.

That is not easy on the body.

It creates quite a detriment
to the immune system.

I noticed
he was really scratching
his eyes and his ears.

A suppressed immune system
causes all sorts of problems.

So, we have been fighting here,
as of late, topical--

A dermatitis that has affected
his ears and his eyes.

Being, uh, kind of unable
to explain this to him,

he's really rubbing his eyes.

And as he's really
digging in there,
he's scratching his cornea.

And there's going to be
long-term vision damage if he...

...rubs too hard, too long.

Same thing with his ears.

The written word
is very important in our family,

so we need to make sure
that he continues

to have access to that strength.

Actually, I think it's time
that we put some medicine
in his eyes, so...

Eye time.

Yes?

- Eye time?
- No.

- You ready?
- Ready?

- Eye time.
- Mmm-hmm.

Eye time.

Try not to for a minute.

- Be gentle.
- Yes. Be very gentle.
Don't rub hard.

Beth always knew,
and Dennis too,

that Evan was gonna need
special attention all his life.

And that was one reason
Dennis fought so hard
with the leukemia.

You put his health issues,
his autism,

the death of his father, moving,

new and more health issues...

That's a lot.
That's a lot for anybody.

Evan has a real autism

and all the medical
and emotional
and disabling effects of it.

And yet there's something
special about him.

And I don't even know
how to put it into words.

He can do amazing things
with that brain.

It's just not things
that are going to keep him
from needing...

...someone to make sure
he's always okay.

Look at me.

Look.

- Nose.
- Yeah. Did you have a good week?

- Good week.
- Good. Good.
You ready to go home?

- Yes. Good week.
- All right,
let's pick up your stuff.

Give it to your mom.

- What is it?
- All right.

- Say "Open it."
- All right.

- What is it?
- All right. What is it?

- Good.
- Good. I love it.

Good.

- Okay.
- I like that.

I like that.

- What?
- What have you got?

Oh.

Santa Claus ornament.

Yeah, I thought
that would be good too.

I have told
all of my nieces and nephews,

my great nieces and nephews,
and my stepchildren,

and I intend
to tell their children
if I live long enough...

...that my only requirement
of them...

...is that they go see him
once a year,

and it can't be a holiday.

Because I figure
there are so many of them

that surely two of them
will show up every month

if they commit
to that one time of year.

Go into Magnolia
and taking Evan to dinner.

That's the only requirement.

And if everybody does that...

...then a couple of times
a month, Evan gets
to go out to dinner

with someone
he really cares about.

And if something really terrible
is going on in his life,

somebody will know.

I don't really see it
as a responsibility,

and I never even saw it
as a question.

I feel like Evan's village
is gonna go down
to the next generation,

and I feel like
he'll always have people.

We need to do our part
because he's impacted us so much

and done so much for us
in our lives
that he doesn't even realize.

We're just gonna have
to take shifts, you know.

- You're gonna take care of him
for three months.
- No.

He can move
into the room next door.

I don't-- I'm not worried
about it, but, like--

I, I know for sure that
there's a community behind Evan.

I have complete faith in that.

And I have faith that
all of us will come together

and do what's right
at the end of that.

It's just
what we would do for...

- Our brother.
- Yeah.

There is no fear or worries

about what the future
looks like for Evan.

I feel like he is going
to survive and thrive,

um, as the older generation
moves on.

We'll make sure
he's taken care of.

We just have
really big shoes to fill.

Really big.

This, this story
shows a pattern...

...of me, um, running
into just the right person

or just the r-- right, um, help,

or just the right
piece of information

when it was necessary for me.

Uh, which is, you know,

maybe luck,
maybe divine intervention,

maybe... Whatever. I don't know.

But behind all of that...

...uh,
I'm looking at the picture
of these people.

And this is my family.

These people were the people
that struggled through

so that he learned
to go to church,

and go to a restaurant,

and go to a family dinner.
And, you know, I--

People call me all the time,
"I can't take him anywhere."

Well...

...find these kind of people

who will accept you
no matter what.

They're not your family.

You have to find them
because they're key.

For me, it was these people.

And I owe them everything.

This commitment
that Beth has to Evan,

you can't help
but be moved by it.

You have no idea what it takes.

You have no idea what kind of
love that kid can provide.

He's taught us so much
through the whole thing.

You have no idea what love,

and work, and dedication
this took

to get one person
to the point he is today.

And that's one person.

What Beth is doing
can be super impactful

if the message can be spread
because there's a lot of people
out there

that don't have that support.

Being a movie star again, Evan?
- Movie star.

I just think of how much
my life has been enriched

by knowing Evan
and him being a part of my life.

I still get excited
when I see him

and when he comes up
and gives me a kiss

or hugs my neck
and says, "I love you."

Oh, my gosh.

I just hope that

people who have a Beth
or have an Evan in their life

take this and really help them.

One thing I hope
people take away

is, is what a privilege
it has been...

...to be part of this story.

I think people found
a common purpose,

and in this common purpose
was Evan.

So, it's all as it ends,
as I said before.

What would I say to someone?
There's so much to be taken
from a situation, uh, like this.

It's not that you don't--
Do you get tired?

Heck yeah.
I'm gonna be tired by Sunday.

But as far as
the life's experience,

I am different, I am better.

I'm a better person.

So, maybe, you know,
when people say,

"Oh, you do everything for him,"

you know, I'm like,
"Maybe he saved me."

I don't know. Who saved who?

♪ You've got a friend in me ♪

Your favorite song.

♪ You've got a friend in me ♪

♪ When the road
looks rough ahead ♪

♪ And you're miles and miles
from your nice warm bed ♪

♪ We stick together
and can see it through ♪

♪ 'Cause you've got
a friend in me ♪

♪ Oh, you've got
a friend in me ♪

♪ Some other folks
might be a little bit
smarter than I am ♪

♪ Bigger and stronger too ♪

♪ Maybe, but none of them
will ever love you ♪

♪ The way I do ♪

♪ It's me and you ♪

♪ Boy, as the years go by ♪

♪ Our friendship
will never die ♪

♪ You're gonna see
it's our destiny ♪

♪ You've got a friend in me ♪

"The end."

Good job.