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1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,004
Should you really be texting on the job
2
00:00:04,006 --> 00:00:04,938
like that?
3
00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:07,107
I can answer that: No.
4
00:00:07,109 --> 00:00:08,775
I'm texting Laila.
5
00:00:08,777 --> 00:00:09,843
What's the emoticon for taking off
6
00:00:09,845 --> 00:00:11,044
a bra one-handed?
7
00:00:11,046 --> 00:00:12,578
You're still seeing that doctor.
8
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,047
It hasn't been eight dates yet?
9
00:00:14,049 --> 00:00:15,982
Harry's got a maximum eight dates rule,
10
00:00:15,984 --> 00:00:17,517
so that women don't get too attached.
11
00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:20,052
Whoa, you're making me sound bad.
12
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:20,953
Okay, it's all true.
13
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:21,921
But let me explain...
14
00:00:21,923 --> 00:00:23,122
No need.
15
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:23,790
Everyone knows you can't do relationships.
16
00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:25,157
I can so.
17
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,026
For eight dates.
18
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,127
But Laila and I have only had a
19
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,262
first date, first sex date,
20
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,366
second sex date, brunch,
sex-in-public date,
21
00:00:33,368 --> 00:00:36,068
two nooners and this ironic bowling date,
22
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,370
which leaves...
23
00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:38,571
Oh my God I'm out of dates.
24
00:00:38,573 --> 00:00:40,840
I have to dump Laila.
25
00:00:40,842 --> 00:00:43,642
What's the emoticon for
putting a bra back on?
26
00:00:52,807 --> 00:00:57,251
Synced and corrected by Mastermonger.
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:00:58,525 --> 00:00:59,225
Eight dates or less?
28
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,359
Really?
29
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,627
I'm the express check-out of dating.
30
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,196
Ahhhh!
31
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,965
There's a tin can in the regular garbage.
32
00:01:05,967 --> 00:01:08,066
Geeze, I was expecting a human head.
33
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,501
It might as well be mother nature's head.
34
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:11,302
Billy!
35
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,636
Down here.
36
00:01:12,638 --> 00:01:13,938
Sorry, bud.
37
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,874
I completely forgot we
were playing hide and seek.
38
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,209
Billy, cans go in the recycling bin.
39
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:19,510
No exceptions.
40
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:20,245
Yeah.
41
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,112
Wow.
42
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,780
Very disappointing.
43
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:23,915
It wasn't me.
44
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,083
It was mom!
45
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,751
What did Zoey do now?
46
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,353
Mom Michelle put the can in there.
47
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:32,489
Okay, recyclables go in the recycling bin.
48
00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:35,492
Oh, how will we ever fix this?
49
00:01:39,563 --> 00:01:41,932
Like that.
50
00:01:41,934 --> 00:01:43,367
Hey bud.
51
00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:44,334
Little life tip?
52
00:01:44,336 --> 00:01:45,602
Nobody likes a snitch.
53
00:01:45,604 --> 00:01:47,570
He's not a snitch, he's a whistleblower.
54
00:01:47,572 --> 00:01:49,039
And whistleblowers are heroes.
55
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:50,373
You did the right thing, sweetheart.
56
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:52,375
Okay, you know what, I'm outranked here.
57
00:01:52,377 --> 00:01:53,309
Listen to your mom.
58
00:01:53,311 --> 00:01:54,643
This mom, not other mom.
59
00:01:54,645 --> 00:01:59,181
Geez, even numbering you
two would have helped.
60
00:02:01,184 --> 00:02:02,418
Your driver's Ed teacher said
61
00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:04,053
you just need a little more practice...
62
00:02:04,055 --> 00:02:05,454
A miracle.
63
00:02:05,456 --> 00:02:06,889
He said I need a miracle if
I'm going to get my license.
64
00:02:06,891 --> 00:02:08,524
You have nothing to worry about.
65
00:02:08,526 --> 00:02:11,427
Except for incompetent
drivers, idiots on bikes,
66
00:02:11,429 --> 00:02:13,095
and entitled pedestrians...
67
00:02:13,097 --> 00:02:14,496
You're making me more nervous.
68
00:02:14,498 --> 00:02:17,599
Just start the car and back up.
69
00:02:19,101 --> 00:02:19,902
Stop! Stop!
70
00:02:19,904 --> 00:02:21,770
What?!
71
00:02:21,772 --> 00:02:24,139
If you don't adjust your
mirrors you might as well
72
00:02:24,141 --> 00:02:25,874
be driving blind.
73
00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:27,943
Happy?
74
00:02:27,945 --> 00:02:28,444
Fantastic.
75
00:02:28,446 --> 00:02:30,211
Let's begin.
76
00:02:30,213 --> 00:02:32,147
No radio! No radio!
77
00:02:32,149 --> 00:02:32,981
Oh my God!
78
00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:39,721
Let's try it again Charlie, kick it,
79
00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:40,489
kick the ball.
Wee wee wee
80
00:02:40,491 --> 00:02:41,523
all the way to the goal.
81
00:02:41,525 --> 00:02:43,825
Okay, I'm pulling the plug on this
82
00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:44,892
soccer practice.
83
00:02:44,894 --> 00:02:46,461
He isn't even a year old.
84
00:02:46,463 --> 00:02:49,630
He's already behind most Brazilian babies.
85
00:02:49,632 --> 00:02:50,765
So how did Laila take the break-up?
86
00:02:50,767 --> 00:02:51,699
You know what, I'll tell you in
87
00:02:51,701 --> 00:02:52,867
two minutes.
88
00:02:52,869 --> 00:02:54,302
You're dumping her with a phone call?
89
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,937
No.
90
00:02:55,939 --> 00:02:56,904
By text.
91
00:02:56,906 --> 00:02:58,906
Okay, there are rules to breaking up.
92
00:02:58,908 --> 00:03:00,308
No emails, texts or tweets.
93
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:03,945
And hashtag 'let's be friends'
doesn't soften the blow.
94
00:03:03,947 --> 00:03:05,245
I guess I can ask her to swing by the bar.
95
00:03:05,247 --> 00:03:06,981
At least there'll be witnesses.
96
00:03:06,983 --> 00:03:08,616
Great, and then I'll call with sad news
97
00:03:08,618 --> 00:03:09,817
about a dying relative.
98
00:03:09,819 --> 00:03:11,418
In your grief you drop out of contact,
99
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:13,554
days turn to weeks, and it gradually ends.
100
00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:14,989
A break up with no bad guy.
101
00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:16,156
You've done this before?
102
00:03:16,158 --> 00:03:17,358
No.
103
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,793
But it's been done to me.
104
00:03:18,795 --> 00:03:20,795
It's very effective.
105
00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:24,932
There you go.
106
00:03:24,934 --> 00:03:26,801
Just a second, mom.
107
00:03:26,803 --> 00:03:29,970
I would like to report a shoplifter.
108
00:03:29,972 --> 00:03:32,072
She ate five chocolate
almonds from the bulk food bins
109
00:03:32,074 --> 00:03:34,574
and didn't pay.
110
00:03:34,576 --> 00:03:35,842
Mister Jamblowsky!
111
00:03:35,844 --> 00:03:37,444
They're stealing!
112
00:03:37,446 --> 00:03:38,945
I'm a whistleblower.
113
00:03:46,455 --> 00:03:47,521
How did driving practice go?
114
00:03:47,523 --> 00:03:49,723
Oh really, really good.
115
00:03:49,725 --> 00:03:50,991
I was worried you'd be
screaming at each other
116
00:03:50,993 --> 00:03:52,325
before you left the parking garage.
117
00:03:52,327 --> 00:03:53,259
Oh no.
118
00:03:53,261 --> 00:03:54,928
It was such a joy.
119
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,496
I would have loved to
be the one teaching her.
120
00:03:56,498 --> 00:03:59,198
But you were adamant you should do it.
121
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,801
I was adamant wasn't I?
122
00:04:01,803 --> 00:04:03,670
You know, I feel awful that
123
00:04:03,672 --> 00:04:06,072
you are missing out on all of those
124
00:04:06,074 --> 00:04:08,874
magical father-daughter
bonding opportunities.
125
00:04:08,876 --> 00:04:10,843
It's too bad.
126
00:04:10,845 --> 00:04:12,978
Speaking of fathers and our daughter,
127
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:15,014
I think I might give Harry a call to see
128
00:04:15,016 --> 00:04:16,715
if he can take over the practices that I
129
00:04:16,717 --> 00:04:17,816
don't have time for.
130
00:04:17,818 --> 00:04:19,685
You will do no such thing.
131
00:04:19,687 --> 00:04:20,853
You're speaking very forcefully
132
00:04:20,855 --> 00:04:22,021
to me Jonathan.
133
00:04:22,023 --> 00:04:23,856
I am a man of action, Janet.
134
00:04:23,858 --> 00:04:25,591
And if you're not free
to teach Anastasia how
135
00:04:25,593 --> 00:04:27,325
to drive, I am.
136
00:04:28,361 --> 00:04:29,728
It's my fatherly duty...
137
00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:31,563
Well, it will mean that I won't have much
138
00:04:31,565 --> 00:04:36,935
mother-daughter time with Ana, but clearly
139
00:04:36,937 --> 00:04:39,671
you are the man for the job.
140
00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:45,444
I love how you smile when I get my way.
141
00:04:53,519 --> 00:04:55,386
So what did you want to talk about?
142
00:04:55,388 --> 00:04:57,689
Oh right.
143
00:04:59,357 --> 00:05:00,592
Um.
144
00:05:00,594 --> 00:05:01,593
Actually.
145
00:05:05,064 --> 00:05:06,230
What are these for?
146
00:05:06,232 --> 00:05:07,632
You never know when someone's about to
147
00:05:07,634 --> 00:05:10,969
burst into messy tears.
148
00:05:10,971 --> 00:05:14,271
How 'bout another round?
149
00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,473
Get her a water so it
won't stain your shirt
150
00:05:15,475 --> 00:05:16,673
when she throws it in your face after
151
00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:18,008
you dump her.
152
00:05:18,010 --> 00:05:20,911
I'm not breaking up with her.
153
00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:24,615
Rose?!
154
00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:26,517
Hey...
155
00:05:26,519 --> 00:05:29,019
How unexpected to see you here, Rose.
156
00:05:29,021 --> 00:05:31,688
Why drop in when you could just call?
157
00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:33,690
I thought it was more respectful to deliver
158
00:05:33,692 --> 00:05:34,658
bad news in person.
159
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:35,993
Doesn't have to be bad news.
160
00:05:35,995 --> 00:05:37,393
Could be good instead.
161
00:05:37,395 --> 00:05:39,129
Especially if someone didn't need to hear
162
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,964
bad news anymore.
163
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,033
Is everything okay?
164
00:05:43,035 --> 00:05:45,468
It's your favourite aunt, Annie.
165
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,671
She's sick, Harry...
166
00:05:47,673 --> 00:05:48,605
Worried sick.
167
00:05:48,607 --> 00:05:50,473
About me, right?
168
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,843
That's aunt Annie for you.
169
00:05:52,845 --> 00:05:55,278
I'll call her after my date with Laila.
170
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,479
Oh, she's dying...
171
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,948
to talk to me.
172
00:05:57,950 --> 00:05:58,682
As usual.
173
00:05:58,684 --> 00:05:59,682
I'm her favourite.
174
00:05:59,684 --> 00:06:01,751
Is your aunt worried, or sick?
175
00:06:01,753 --> 00:06:02,718
Cancer.
176
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,853
Yeah, she's a cancer.
177
00:06:03,855 --> 00:06:05,488
And you know those cancers they worry
178
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,023
themselves to death.
179
00:06:07,025 --> 00:06:08,324
Worse than capricorns.
180
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,892
But I'm a pieces, so
of course I'd say that.
181
00:06:09,894 --> 00:06:12,028
Would you excuse us.
182
00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:14,096
You're ruining my date.
183
00:06:14,098 --> 00:06:15,632
Isn't that the point?
184
00:06:15,634 --> 00:06:17,733
I've changed my mind.
185
00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:18,834
It's my eight dates
rule if I want to make it
186
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:22,671
nine or twelve that's up to me.
187
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:23,872
Why are you smiling.
188
00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:27,008
I have really bad news for you, Harry.
189
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:29,077
You're in a relationship.
190
00:06:37,948 --> 00:06:40,882
Let the father daughter time commence.
191
00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:41,616
Uh, okay.
192
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,818
Buckle up for bonding.
193
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,354
Shoulder check for shared experiences.
194
00:06:46,356 --> 00:06:47,554
Kick the tires...
195
00:06:47,556 --> 00:06:48,289
Dad.
196
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:49,523
I need to concentrate.
197
00:06:49,525 --> 00:06:51,192
I'm still a little
nervous behind the wheel.
198
00:06:51,194 --> 00:06:52,426
There's nothing to fear.
199
00:06:52,428 --> 00:06:53,660
Daddy's here for you.
200
00:06:53,662 --> 00:06:55,596
Safety first.
201
00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:57,831
Now back up carefully...
202
00:07:07,675 --> 00:07:09,209
There are very basic rules...
203
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:11,478
An Amber light does not mean speed up!
204
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:12,979
It does not mean slam on the brakes!
205
00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:14,180
And it certainly does not mean
206
00:07:14,182 --> 00:07:15,215
park in the middle of the intersection
207
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,483
and cry!
208
00:07:16,485 --> 00:07:17,717
It's not my fault!
209
00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:18,951
You kept freaking me out with your stupid
210
00:07:18,953 --> 00:07:20,353
safety obsessions!
211
00:07:20,355 --> 00:07:21,287
Safety first.
212
00:07:21,289 --> 00:07:22,688
Safety always first!
213
00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:23,956
You know what's not safe?
214
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:25,725
Crawling over the console
and taking over the wheel
215
00:07:25,727 --> 00:07:27,927
on the highway.
216
00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:31,631
At least we spent some time together.
217
00:07:38,471 --> 00:07:39,304
Back already?
218
00:07:39,306 --> 00:07:40,406
How did the practice go?
219
00:07:40,408 --> 00:07:43,308
Truly magical.
220
00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:46,445
Anastasia and I have never been closer.
221
00:07:52,486 --> 00:07:54,153
So, relationship Harry.
222
00:07:54,155 --> 00:07:55,855
Are you and Laila moving in together?
223
00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:57,689
Are your periods in sync yet?
224
00:07:57,691 --> 00:07:59,058
It's ten dates.
225
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,992
We're not in a relationship.
226
00:08:00,994 --> 00:08:02,294
Hi, Harry.
227
00:08:02,296 --> 00:08:03,095
I need you to take over
228
00:08:03,097 --> 00:08:04,163
Anastasia's driving lessons.
229
00:08:04,165 --> 00:08:05,264
I'd do it myself, but unfortunately,
230
00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:06,631
I do not want to.
231
00:08:06,633 --> 00:08:09,234
Sorry, I can't handle any more commitment.
232
00:08:09,236 --> 00:08:10,969
But I feel bad that you'll
be missing out on this
233
00:08:10,971 --> 00:08:14,139
magical father-daughter
bonding opportunity.
234
00:08:14,141 --> 00:08:16,508
Teaching Anastasia to drive is a
235
00:08:16,510 --> 00:08:18,176
sacred rite of passage.
236
00:08:18,178 --> 00:08:20,378
You don't want me stealing that from you.
237
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:21,546
C'mon-we're buds.
238
00:08:21,548 --> 00:08:23,614
Couple a' tight buds.
239
00:08:23,616 --> 00:08:24,949
Sorry man, the answer is no.
240
00:08:26,118 --> 00:08:27,151
How about now?
241
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,787
What are you doing?
242
00:08:29,789 --> 00:08:30,788
Putting you in a headlock.
243
00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:32,056
This isn't a headlock.
244
00:08:32,058 --> 00:08:32,856
Yes it is.
245
00:08:32,858 --> 00:08:35,126
It's more of a head hug.
246
00:08:35,128 --> 00:08:36,127
I'm not letting go until you agree to
247
00:08:36,129 --> 00:08:37,628
take Ana for a few nice drives.
248
00:08:37,630 --> 00:08:38,462
Well then I guess we're just going to
249
00:08:38,464 --> 00:08:40,297
be staying like this forever.
250
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,300
Fine!
251
00:08:43,302 --> 00:08:44,635
I'll teach Anastasia to drive.
252
00:08:44,637 --> 00:08:45,368
Yes!
253
00:08:45,370 --> 00:08:46,770
Thank you.
254
00:08:46,772 --> 00:08:47,771
Did I hurt you?
255
00:08:47,773 --> 00:08:49,506
Not even slightly.
256
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:50,507
Good.
257
00:09:01,486 --> 00:09:02,252
Nice stop, Colborne.
258
00:09:02,254 --> 00:09:03,753
Very smooth.
259
00:09:03,755 --> 00:09:05,922
I like that in a chauffeur.
260
00:09:05,924 --> 00:09:07,090
Driving's way easier when you don't have
261
00:09:07,092 --> 00:09:10,193
someone screaming to Jesus next to you.
262
00:09:10,195 --> 00:09:12,061
Thanks for the ride to Charlie's day care.
263
00:09:12,063 --> 00:09:14,364
And here's a tip for your test:
264
00:09:14,366 --> 00:09:16,766
Try thinking of speed bumps
265
00:09:16,768 --> 00:09:19,435
as slow bumps.
266
00:09:19,437 --> 00:09:20,803
Thanks, I will.
267
00:09:20,805 --> 00:09:22,338
Good luck Harry.
268
00:09:24,008 --> 00:09:24,974
Harry?
269
00:09:27,577 --> 00:09:28,611
What?
270
00:09:28,613 --> 00:09:29,912
Aw, he's worrying over his
271
00:09:29,914 --> 00:09:31,781
big smoochy relationship.
272
00:09:31,783 --> 00:09:33,582
It's not a relationship.
273
00:09:33,584 --> 00:09:35,952
This is just date number ten.
274
00:09:35,954 --> 00:09:37,020
Oh my God,
275
00:09:37,022 --> 00:09:38,420
I've never been on a tenth date.
276
00:09:38,422 --> 00:09:40,555
What usually happens on a tenth date?
277
00:09:40,557 --> 00:09:42,891
That's when a girl falls
in love with you forever.
278
00:09:42,893 --> 00:09:44,960
Yep, she imprints herself on your heart,
279
00:09:44,962 --> 00:09:46,728
like in twilight.
280
00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:47,562
Really?
281
00:09:52,302 --> 00:09:53,468
It's good to be a whistleblower,
282
00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:55,037
but don't be a tattletale.
283
00:09:55,039 --> 00:09:56,538
But what's the difference?
284
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:57,939
A tattletale points out when someone
285
00:09:57,941 --> 00:10:00,475
breaks the rules, but a whistleblower...
286
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:05,946
Blows a whistle when
someone breaks the law.
287
00:10:05,948 --> 00:10:06,914
Like when mommy Zoey
288
00:10:06,916 --> 00:10:08,550
stole from the bulk bin?
289
00:10:08,552 --> 00:10:10,151
No. Not like that.
290
00:10:10,153 --> 00:10:12,019
There's tattling, and there's being
291
00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:14,355
a witness, see?
292
00:10:14,357 --> 00:10:16,457
It's like this: A beaver slaps its tail
293
00:10:16,459 --> 00:10:18,259
on the water when it sees a fur trader,
294
00:10:18,261 --> 00:10:20,228
but not when it sees a gopher.
295
00:10:20,230 --> 00:10:21,829
How is that helpful?
296
00:10:21,831 --> 00:10:22,863
It makes sense if you understand
297
00:10:22,865 --> 00:10:26,233
the pressures facing today's beavers.
298
00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:27,168
I get it.
299
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:28,936
Don't snitch on family.
300
00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:29,503
That'll work.
301
00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:32,339
Close enough.
302
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,640
Madame.
303
00:10:37,478 --> 00:10:38,112
Wow.
304
00:10:38,114 --> 00:10:39,747
Your chariot awaits.
305
00:10:39,749 --> 00:10:41,648
Harry, a driver?
306
00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:43,784
You're really pulling out all the stops.
307
00:10:43,786 --> 00:10:45,252
Speaking of stops, what do I do at
308
00:10:45,254 --> 00:10:46,286
a flashing red?
309
00:10:46,288 --> 00:10:47,554
Is it like a stop sign, or can I just
310
00:10:47,556 --> 00:10:49,289
blast through it?
311
00:10:50,558 --> 00:10:53,327
This is her first time chauffeuring.
312
00:10:53,329 --> 00:10:54,328
Oh.
313
00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:03,002
Oh, oh oh!
314
00:11:03,004 --> 00:11:04,738
What would happen if
you actually drove your
315
00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:05,839
truck off a cliff like that?
316
00:11:05,841 --> 00:11:08,908
Well, you would have
major cranial trauma with...
317
00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:10,910
You'd break your head.
318
00:11:10,912 --> 00:11:13,480
Uh huh, makes so much more sense.
319
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:16,582
Okay, I know you have
to work on your birthday,
320
00:11:16,584 --> 00:11:18,451
so I got you a card.
321
00:11:18,453 --> 00:11:22,588
It's whatever the opposite of belated is.
322
00:11:23,957 --> 00:11:25,824
You got me concert tickets?
323
00:11:25,826 --> 00:11:28,261
You said you like that band, so...
324
00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:32,064
You got me thoughtful concert tickets?
325
00:11:34,368 --> 00:11:38,336
The chauffeur was
already a little too much...
326
00:11:38,338 --> 00:11:40,104
My sperm child doesn't count as
327
00:11:40,106 --> 00:11:41,306
a real chauffeur,
328
00:11:41,308 --> 00:11:42,507
and no pressure.
329
00:11:42,509 --> 00:11:44,108
Those tickets aren't for six weeks.
330
00:11:44,110 --> 00:11:45,810
Over a month from now?
331
00:11:45,812 --> 00:11:49,281
I had no idea you were
thinking so long term.
332
00:11:49,283 --> 00:11:50,081
Whoa whoa.
333
00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:51,182
I'm not.
334
00:11:51,184 --> 00:11:52,751
But with ten dates under our belts,
335
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:54,118
what's another six weeks?
336
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,953
You count our dates?
337
00:11:55,955 --> 00:11:58,256
Harry, I'm just, I'm just not looking
338
00:11:58,258 --> 00:12:01,192
for that kind of commitment.
339
00:12:01,194 --> 00:12:02,359
Oh my God.
340
00:12:02,361 --> 00:12:05,096
That sounds like something I would say.
341
00:12:06,065 --> 00:12:07,031
Oh, sorry.
342
00:12:09,134 --> 00:12:11,135
You're breaking up with me?
343
00:12:11,137 --> 00:12:12,170
By text?
344
00:12:14,539 --> 00:12:17,675
It's the only way I know how.
345
00:12:17,677 --> 00:12:22,280
Thanks for the tickets!
346
00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:36,126
Are you sure you're okay?
347
00:12:36,128 --> 00:12:37,627
What?
348
00:12:37,629 --> 00:12:38,461
Yeah.
349
00:12:38,463 --> 00:12:39,329
Great.
350
00:12:39,331 --> 00:12:40,530
Fine.
351
00:12:40,532 --> 00:12:42,833
Here, I know you love chicken fingers.
352
00:12:42,835 --> 00:12:46,836
And soup can help mend a broken heart.
353
00:12:46,838 --> 00:12:47,803
Chicken finger soup?
354
00:12:47,805 --> 00:12:49,471
I'm not the best cook.
355
00:12:49,473 --> 00:12:51,807
Okay, look, I don't have a broken heart.
356
00:12:51,809 --> 00:12:52,641
You do.
357
00:12:52,643 --> 00:12:55,077
And it's a good thing.
358
00:12:55,079 --> 00:12:57,346
You're capable of real relationships.
359
00:12:57,348 --> 00:13:00,382
You're a real boy, Pinnochio!
360
00:13:02,052 --> 00:13:04,220
You sure you're okay to watch Charlie?
361
00:13:04,222 --> 00:13:06,588
I've had Billy all
morning and it's been rad.
362
00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:07,656
Right buddy?
363
00:13:07,658 --> 00:13:09,123
No comment.
364
00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,626
I don't snitch on family.
365
00:13:12,829 --> 00:13:15,096
He's been saying that a lot lately.
366
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:17,733
Okay. I'm gonna be late.
367
00:13:17,735 --> 00:13:19,133
Bye, munchkin.
368
00:13:19,135 --> 00:13:21,302
Take care of your heartbroken daddy...
369
00:13:21,304 --> 00:13:23,605
I'm not heartbroken.
370
00:13:23,607 --> 00:13:24,606
Oh, ok.
371
00:13:27,042 --> 00:13:28,209
Hey buddy, feel like pancakes?
372
00:13:28,211 --> 00:13:30,644
I'm going to see if the
pancake house delivers.
373
00:13:30,646 --> 00:13:32,280
Time for Charlie's soccer practice.
374
00:13:32,282 --> 00:13:34,215
Oh, you know what, he's not into soccer,
375
00:13:34,217 --> 00:13:35,716
although last time he
tried to eat the ball,
376
00:13:35,718 --> 00:13:37,618
so he knows it's important somehow.
377
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:39,787
Come on Charlie, kick the ball.
378
00:13:42,925 --> 00:13:44,158
Kick the ball.
379
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,026
Ow!
380
00:13:45,028 --> 00:13:45,927
He did it.
381
00:13:45,929 --> 00:13:47,327
He kicked.
382
00:13:47,329 --> 00:13:48,161
Billy, bud.
383
00:13:48,163 --> 00:13:49,864
Ah man, are you okay?
384
00:13:49,866 --> 00:13:51,298
Char-lie!
385
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:51,965
That really hurt!
386
00:13:51,967 --> 00:13:53,501
Hey.
387
00:13:53,503 --> 00:13:54,134
Hey what are you doing here?
388
00:13:54,136 --> 00:13:55,269
Driving practice.
389
00:13:55,271 --> 00:13:56,804
We left the car here last night, remember?
390
00:13:56,806 --> 00:13:58,171
Right. Right.
391
00:13:58,173 --> 00:13:59,540
Sorry, I've been in a bit of a daze.
392
00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:00,274
What's with Billy's eye?
393
00:14:00,276 --> 00:14:03,277
Oh, he's fine...
394
00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:04,745
Alright, everybody in the car!
395
00:14:04,747 --> 00:14:05,679
I'll drive us to the hospital.
396
00:14:05,681 --> 00:14:06,680
Keys.
397
00:14:06,682 --> 00:14:08,181
But it's my lesson.
398
00:14:08,183 --> 00:14:09,116
And you seem unstable...
399
00:14:09,118 --> 00:14:10,583
I am not heartbroken!
400
00:14:10,585 --> 00:14:12,352
I'm taking Billy to the best doctor I know.
401
00:14:12,354 --> 00:14:13,520
Ex doctor.
402
00:14:13,522 --> 00:14:14,354
Ex-girlfriend.
403
00:14:14,356 --> 00:14:15,755
Who dumped me.
404
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:19,692
I'm fine.
405
00:14:24,466 --> 00:14:25,465
Hello?
406
00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:27,401
Hi. Where are you?
407
00:14:27,403 --> 00:14:28,468
Just relaxing after a lovely
408
00:14:28,470 --> 00:14:30,536
driving lesson with my daughter.
409
00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:32,104
Oh how we laughed.
410
00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:33,705
So, are you out with her now?
411
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,274
No, just at home with my feet up,
412
00:14:35,276 --> 00:14:36,943
enjoying the glow of teaching.
413
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:39,545
Deep down I'm a teacher, Janet.
414
00:14:39,547 --> 00:14:41,814
So what happened to the car?
415
00:14:41,816 --> 00:14:42,581
Nothing.
416
00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:43,849
It's parked downstairs.
417
00:14:43,851 --> 00:14:45,484
Jonathan, I'm in the
parking garage right now,
418
00:14:45,486 --> 00:14:46,885
and your car is not here.
419
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,087
The concierge says it hasn't been here
420
00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:49,255
all night.
421
00:14:49,257 --> 00:14:50,522
I'm calling the police!
422
00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:52,391
Wait don't call...
423
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:58,964
Sorry officer, I realize now
424
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,565
this is a one way street.
425
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,732
And I didn't signal.
426
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,435
And I may have rolled
through that stop sign,
427
00:15:03,437 --> 00:15:04,602
but...
428
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:05,269
I stopped you because this vehicle was
429
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:06,270
reported stolen.
430
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:06,903
It's not stolen.
431
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:08,205
It's my parents' car.
432
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:09,506
So, this isn't your father?
433
00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:10,507
Sort of.
434
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:13,377
So to be clear, you're driving
435
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,778
recklessly in a stolen vehicle
436
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,680
with three kids you don't have custody of?
437
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:19,183
He was only speeding
because I need a doctor.
438
00:15:20,651 --> 00:15:22,186
How'd you get that black eye, kid?
439
00:15:23,855 --> 00:15:26,256
I don't snitch on family.
440
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:31,361
244 requesting backup.
441
00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:33,696
This one's complicated.
442
00:15:36,608 --> 00:15:37,975
Who hurt you, Billy?
443
00:15:37,977 --> 00:15:39,876
I can't say.
444
00:15:39,878 --> 00:15:41,044
Was it this man?
445
00:15:41,046 --> 00:15:44,514
For the last time, I'm not a "this man."
446
00:15:44,516 --> 00:15:46,383
I'm his sperm donor.
447
00:15:46,385 --> 00:15:48,218
His sperm donor dad.
448
00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:49,619
I'm sorry.
449
00:15:49,621 --> 00:15:52,322
I'm the sperm donor for his mom, no,
450
00:15:52,324 --> 00:15:54,891
his two moms, and her one mom,
451
00:15:54,893 --> 00:15:57,327
who's got two moms worth of attitude.
452
00:15:57,329 --> 00:15:59,296
See, the families didn't know
me when they got pregnant,
453
00:15:59,298 --> 00:16:00,663
but they do now.
454
00:16:01,899 --> 00:16:05,034
How much clearer can I be?
455
00:16:05,036 --> 00:16:07,637
Billy, are you okay?
456
00:16:07,639 --> 00:16:09,105
I'm one of his moms.
457
00:16:09,107 --> 00:16:10,172
Do you know this man?
458
00:16:10,174 --> 00:16:12,341
Unfortunately.
459
00:16:12,343 --> 00:16:13,275
What's going on?
460
00:16:13,277 --> 00:16:15,144
He won't say.
461
00:16:15,146 --> 00:16:18,114
Billy, you need to tell
this nice police officer
462
00:16:18,116 --> 00:16:20,116
what's happening.
463
00:16:20,118 --> 00:16:22,351
We don't snitch on family.
464
00:16:22,353 --> 00:16:24,453
Whose dumb rule is that anyway?
465
00:16:24,455 --> 00:16:25,488
Hey.
466
00:16:25,490 --> 00:16:26,688
We're not here to point fingers.
467
00:16:26,690 --> 00:16:27,556
Zoey's.
468
00:16:27,558 --> 00:16:28,557
Snitch.
469
00:16:30,994 --> 00:16:32,294
My God, she's writing something down.
470
00:16:32,296 --> 00:16:33,996
That's never a good sign.
471
00:16:33,998 --> 00:16:35,764
Hey, thanks for coming Laila.
472
00:16:35,766 --> 00:16:36,832
No problem.
473
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,367
Let me take a look at Billy's eye.
474
00:16:38,369 --> 00:16:39,502
And who are you?
475
00:16:39,504 --> 00:16:40,536
Ex-girlfriend.
476
00:16:40,538 --> 00:16:41,870
I was going to take Billy to see her.
477
00:16:41,872 --> 00:16:43,239
She's a doctor.
478
00:16:43,241 --> 00:16:44,739
And don't worry, everyone.
479
00:16:44,741 --> 00:16:46,607
Even though we just broke up,
480
00:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,743
it's not awkward.
481
00:16:50,446 --> 00:16:51,179
I just made it awkward,
482
00:16:51,181 --> 00:16:51,946
didn't I?
483
00:16:51,948 --> 00:16:52,380
A bit.
484
00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:53,714
Oh yeah.
485
00:16:53,716 --> 00:16:54,615
Sure did.
486
00:16:54,617 --> 00:16:55,750
No comment.
487
00:16:59,055 --> 00:17:00,888
We'll be right there Ana.
488
00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:03,824
Yes, I'm with your mother now.
489
00:17:05,161 --> 00:17:08,662
I'd say she's about a level nine.
490
00:17:08,664 --> 00:17:10,931
Ehhh... Nine and a half.
491
00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:14,201
But driving calms her though.
492
00:17:14,203 --> 00:17:16,937
Okay, we'll see you soon.
493
00:17:16,939 --> 00:17:18,405
I cannot believe you lied and gave
494
00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:19,540
Harry the car.
495
00:17:19,542 --> 00:17:20,340
Harry!
496
00:17:20,342 --> 00:17:21,775
Lied?
497
00:17:21,777 --> 00:17:22,742
You're the one that said that
498
00:17:22,744 --> 00:17:24,678
driving with Ana was magical.
499
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,879
It was terrifying.
500
00:17:25,881 --> 00:17:27,881
So you dump her with that delinquent?
501
00:17:27,883 --> 00:17:29,550
I can't imagine how Harry's lessons have
502
00:17:29,552 --> 00:17:30,584
set her back.
503
00:17:30,586 --> 00:17:33,019
Harry's the only one that can handle her.
504
00:17:33,021 --> 00:17:36,723
Look, this was all of our faults.
505
00:17:36,725 --> 00:17:38,692
But mostly Harry's...
506
00:17:42,097 --> 00:17:42,996
Wait!
507
00:17:42,998 --> 00:17:43,396
You didn't check the mirrors!
508
00:17:48,736 --> 00:17:49,803
I'm here for Charlie...
509
00:17:49,805 --> 00:17:51,237
They're not letting anyone go until they
510
00:17:51,239 --> 00:17:52,572
hear Billy's side of it.
511
00:17:52,574 --> 00:17:54,440
But he's not talking.
512
00:17:54,442 --> 00:17:56,375
He's gotten some mixed
messages about tattling
513
00:17:56,377 --> 00:17:57,577
and whistleblowing.
514
00:17:57,579 --> 00:17:58,511
What's the difference?
515
00:17:58,513 --> 00:18:00,146
It's hard to explain...
516
00:18:00,148 --> 00:18:01,114
Yeah, I don't get it...
517
00:18:01,116 --> 00:18:02,515
Well one sounds dirty...
518
00:18:02,517 --> 00:18:03,516
That's it!
519
00:18:03,518 --> 00:18:05,151
You want me to talk, fine.
520
00:18:05,153 --> 00:18:06,986
Charlie kicked me in the
eye cause he thought we
521
00:18:06,988 --> 00:18:08,387
were playing soccer.
522
00:18:08,389 --> 00:18:10,923
And mommy Michelle thinks
recycling is a waste of time
523
00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:14,127
and mommy Zoey hates Christmas
with mommy Michelle's family
524
00:18:14,129 --> 00:18:16,762
and Anastasia pays a
friend to do her homework
525
00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:19,232
and Rose ate a raisin that
she dropped on the ground
526
00:18:19,234 --> 00:18:21,566
and Harry has a rule that
he can only go on eight dates
527
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,235
so the ladies don't get too attached,
528
00:18:23,237 --> 00:18:28,340
and sometimes I pretend
I'm God and I step on ants!
529
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:37,182
Well, everything seems normal here.
530
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,983
Good-day everyone.
531
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:42,887
That's not the recycling...
532
00:18:44,489 --> 00:18:46,357
we're all good here.
533
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:50,528
Can we talk?
534
00:18:57,335 --> 00:18:59,904
You hit Mr. Nesbitt's car.
535
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,775
I think we need to
invest in driving lessons.
536
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,577
For Anastasia.
537
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:07,978
Yes.
538
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,913
For Anastasia.
539
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,758
You have an eight dates rule?
540
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,095
Sorry, I'm just going to take Charlie home.
541
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,563
Why does a guy with an
eight dates rule try to
542
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:28,198
get all relationshippy?
543
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,399
I don't know.
544
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:30,700
I was ready to kill off my aunt
545
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:33,102
to break up with you, but I couldn't do it.
546
00:19:33,104 --> 00:19:34,237
Sorry.
547
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,272
So you think we should be together?
548
00:19:36,274 --> 00:19:37,273
No!
549
00:19:38,342 --> 00:19:41,811
Sorry, can't get the latch open.
550
00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:43,979
Look, this is all new for me.
551
00:19:43,981 --> 00:19:45,748
Normally I date around.
552
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,249
Like, a lot.
553
00:19:47,251 --> 00:19:47,717
Yeah.
554
00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:48,951
Me, too.
555
00:19:48,953 --> 00:19:52,121
Seriously, a lot. Access to penicillin
556
00:19:52,123 --> 00:19:55,191
has it's advantages.
557
00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:56,792
Look, I have a ten day rule.
558
00:19:56,794 --> 00:19:58,627
Any guy who plans more than ten days ahead,
559
00:19:58,629 --> 00:20:00,730
I pull the plug.
560
00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:01,396
Oh my God, we're both
561
00:20:01,398 --> 00:20:03,165
commitment-phobes.
562
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,666
I guess it's nice to know I'm not
563
00:20:04,668 --> 00:20:08,036
alone in wanting to be alone.
564
00:20:08,038 --> 00:20:10,372
How about, whatever we're feeling,
565
00:20:11,507 --> 00:20:12,907
we try feeling it together,
566
00:20:12,909 --> 00:20:14,943
but no more than twice a week.
567
00:20:14,945 --> 00:20:18,480
God, you've got a way with words.
568
00:20:18,482 --> 00:20:20,582
Forgot Charlie.
569
00:20:20,584 --> 00:20:21,583
Okay.
570
00:20:22,619 --> 00:20:24,219
Carry on.
571
00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:25,954
I'm not even here.
572
00:20:34,496 --> 00:20:35,496
Don't mind me.
573
00:20:41,081 --> 00:20:42,248
Sorry I was late. What did I miss?
574
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,115
What did I miss?
575
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,685
I saw a guy do this.
576
00:20:45,687 --> 00:20:47,219
What does it mean?
577
00:20:47,221 --> 00:20:48,554
Where did you see that?
578
00:20:48,556 --> 00:20:49,689
Here.
579
00:20:49,691 --> 00:20:50,590
I saw one guy tell another that's
580
00:20:50,592 --> 00:20:52,224
what they do to snitches.
581
00:20:52,226 --> 00:20:53,926
It's sign language.
582
00:20:53,928 --> 00:20:55,328
For neck hug.
583
00:21:01,502 --> 00:21:03,669
One final practice before your test.
584
00:21:03,671 --> 00:21:04,436
Okay, the first thing...
585
00:21:04,438 --> 00:21:05,570
No, excuse me.
586
00:21:05,572 --> 00:21:07,572
You tried to get Harry
to teach her to drive.
587
00:21:07,574 --> 00:21:08,874
We cannot trust your judgment.
588
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:10,242
But this is my car.
589
00:21:10,244 --> 00:21:11,410
She does have a point, dad.
590
00:21:11,412 --> 00:21:13,178
Let's just use your car, mom.
591
00:21:13,180 --> 00:21:13,679
We can't.
592
00:21:13,681 --> 00:21:14,913
I crashed it.
593
00:21:16,081 --> 00:21:17,282
Right.
594
00:21:19,118 --> 00:21:19,751
So what is this?
595
00:21:19,753 --> 00:21:20,485
Date twelve?
596
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,253
Date thirteen?
597
00:21:22,255 --> 00:21:23,822
I don't know, I've stopped counting.
598
00:21:26,392 --> 00:21:29,461
Thank you for all your help.
599
00:21:29,463 --> 00:21:30,462
You're very welcome.
600
00:21:39,629 --> 00:21:43,658
Synced and corrected by Mastermonger.
www.addic7ed.com
39015
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