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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,860 --> 00:00:02,933 Previously on Four Weddings and a Funeral... 2 00:00:02,934 --> 00:00:05,949 "You will always be the one that got away. Love, Maya." 3 00:00:05,950 --> 00:00:09,369 Are you sure it's for you? She didn't write "Dear Duffy". 4 00:00:09,370 --> 00:00:11,249 If you're available, I'd like to hire you. 5 00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:14,879 The only décor I have is a dead plant and a stack of pizza boxes. 6 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,299 Do you still run the theater? 7 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:18,053 I'm directing The Sound of Music this year. 8 00:00:18,054 --> 00:00:19,875 Would you want to play Captain Von Trapp? 9 00:00:19,876 --> 00:00:20,979 I'm in. 10 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:23,689 Craig, I vow to love you more each day. 11 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,029 Every second with you is a gift. 12 00:00:26,030 --> 00:00:28,411 Real talk, you're one of the sickest people I know. 13 00:00:28,412 --> 00:00:30,645 I think I have feelings for Bash. 14 00:00:30,646 --> 00:00:33,959 Do you wanna come back to my place? 15 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,443 For sex, Garrett. 16 00:00:35,444 --> 00:00:37,425 Of course I have feelings for you. 17 00:00:37,426 --> 00:00:39,889 I have since the first time we met. 18 00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:42,059 You're in love with Kash. I found your letter. 19 00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:44,309 It is not what you think. Duffy! 20 00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,320 Duffy! 21 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,929 ♪ So long, farewell ♪ 22 00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:02,219 ♪ Au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen ♪ 23 00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:05,809 ♪ I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne ♪ 24 00:01:05,810 --> 00:01:06,979 Yes? 25 00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:08,859 No. Oh, fuck! 26 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,773 Oh, sorry. Sorry, kids. I'm okay. 27 00:01:10,774 --> 00:01:13,539 Oh, my God. I nearly stepped there. That could've been me! 28 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,579 Stop being so dramatic, Parul. 29 00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:20,639 Everyone, I think we're done for tonight. 30 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,309 Right. 31 00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:24,429 I'm so sorry, Kashif. 32 00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:29,319 This place is just falling down around us. 33 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:30,949 I can get someone to fix the stage. 34 00:01:30,950 --> 00:01:32,449 No, no, you've done enough. 35 00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:34,329 You've already paid for the costumes. 36 00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:35,959 No. 37 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,249 This'll just have to be our final production. 38 00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,589 No. The theater can't close. 39 00:01:40,590 --> 00:01:42,719 I'll start doing drugs. I'll join a gang. 40 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:43,929 Okay, that's pretty dramatic, 41 00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:46,349 but she's right. They can't close this place. 42 00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:47,694 They'll just turn it into more flats 43 00:01:47,695 --> 00:01:48,779 that no one around here can afford. 44 00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:50,754 I know, but you can't have a theater 45 00:01:50,755 --> 00:01:53,119 if you can't afford a stage. 46 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:54,489 I might have an idea. 47 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,209 Is it a bake sale? 48 00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:59,709 We'll barely recoup the costs of ingredients. 49 00:01:59,710 --> 00:02:01,969 It's not a bake sale, Parul. 50 00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:03,259 It was a bake sale. 51 00:02:03,260 --> 00:02:05,679 I'll come up with something else. 52 00:02:19,444 --> 00:02:21,669 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 53 00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:27,139 Thanks for meeting me. 54 00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:30,359 I don't have long, so can you just say what you came to say? 55 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,199 Okay, um, 56 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,119 that letter you found... you were right. 57 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,539 It was for Kash, but I was never going to send it. 58 00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:40,039 Mm. 59 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,879 Please. Promise me you won't say anything. 60 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,599 Cool. 61 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,349 Yeah, so, it's not bad enough that you broke my heart. 62 00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:50,309 I now have to keep secrets for you? 63 00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:53,779 But there's nothing to tell. Nothing happened. 64 00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:57,789 And I am never going to see him again. 65 00:02:57,790 --> 00:03:00,379 Okay, fine. 66 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,879 Thank you, Duffy. 67 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:08,269 Oh, uh, I saw your story in The New Yorker came out. 68 00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:09,729 It's... it's really good. 69 00:03:09,730 --> 00:03:12,263 Yeah, oh, yeah. It's really good. 70 00:03:12,264 --> 00:03:13,457 You know what, Maya? 71 00:03:13,458 --> 00:03:16,487 I don't think that you and I have anything to talk about anymore. 72 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:24,129 Cheers. 73 00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:34,779 I read the speech you wrote on increasing capital gains taxes. 74 00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,869 - And? - Hmm, some excellent points, 75 00:03:36,870 --> 00:03:40,039 all of which are political suicide. 76 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,139 Try again. 77 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,969 Do you want me to have a whack at it? 78 00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:48,349 I just think I might have a better sense of his voice than you do. 79 00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:50,599 Oh, is that why he doesn't let you tweet for him anymore? 80 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,439 No, that's because I accidentally spelt "Parliament" wrong. 81 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,489 Par-lia-ment. 82 00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:57,909 Par-lia-ment. 83 00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:01,539 Well, my dream has always been 84 00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:04,629 to work for a progressive, diverse female candidate, 85 00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:08,299 but given my current situation, I'm open to anything. 86 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,309 But you are looking to stay in the political field? 87 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:12,439 Political, non-profit... 88 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,729 just a job where I don't have to push an agenda 89 00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:17,409 that's directly opposed to everything I believe in. 90 00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:20,489 Well, we are the premier recruiting agency for the public sector, 91 00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:22,459 so I'm sure we can find you something. 92 00:04:25,326 --> 00:04:27,759 - I'll have to call you back. - We get it. 93 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,299 60% of the calls we get 94 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:32,639 are from people hiding in office bathrooms. 95 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,539 ♪ So long, farewell ♪ 96 00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:46,709 ♪ Au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen ♪ 97 00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:56,149 It's good, right? 98 00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:58,989 Would you give money to something like that? 99 00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:03,249 I would give everything, yeah, to make this right between you and me. 100 00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:05,039 What are you talking about? 101 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,873 I'm not gonna lie, yeah? 102 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,194 What I'm about to tell you could 103 00:05:08,195 --> 00:05:09,954 threaten the very foundation of our friendship. 104 00:05:09,955 --> 00:05:11,679 Bruv, I know about you and Fatima. 105 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,479 It's all over your Snapchat. I'm cool with it. 106 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,149 Bruv, you don't have to hide your true feelings with me, okay? 107 00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:19,989 How can I make this better? You know what? 108 00:05:19,990 --> 00:05:21,830 Hit me with your car. 109 00:05:23,593 --> 00:05:25,326 If you really want to make things up to me... 110 00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:27,240 Well, I ain't gonna sleep until I do, so go on. 111 00:05:27,241 --> 00:05:29,719 We need someone to take a look at the tech system at the theater. 112 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,229 The lighting desk is a mess. 113 00:05:33,006 --> 00:05:35,269 Are you sure you don't just wanna hit me with your car? 114 00:05:35,270 --> 00:05:37,319 I heard it's a much more cathartic process. 115 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,069 I'm just thinking of you, really, like... 116 00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:41,569 - Bruv. - Hm? 117 00:05:41,570 --> 00:05:43,539 Okay, fine, fine. I'll do it for you. 118 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,079 Fatima? 119 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,969 No, that is my mum. Um, I better answer that. 120 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,099 Hey, boo. I've been thinking about you, you know? 121 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,870 And Dad'll be thinking about that as well. 122 00:06:01,935 --> 00:06:05,159 _ 123 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,693 What am I doing? 124 00:06:06,694 --> 00:06:07,694 _ 125 00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:31,839 Ladies and gentlemen, the kids of the Hounslow Community Theatre. 126 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,549 Take it away, guys. 127 00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:46,659 Oh, hi. Garrett, you're here. 128 00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:48,039 Again... 129 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,129 Maya, I was hoping to see you. 130 00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:52,629 Did you know that you 131 00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:56,059 and the poet Maya Angelou... 132 00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:58,269 you share the same first name? 133 00:06:58,270 --> 00:07:01,069 Yes. Yes, I did. 134 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,811 Garrett's really good at figuring out 135 00:07:02,812 --> 00:07:04,489 which celebrities have the same name as you. 136 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:06,829 Yeah, right. Try me, right? Anyone. 137 00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:09,370 Uh, Ainsley. 138 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,679 I don't know. I don't know. 139 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,349 It's tough. Hey, do you wanna go out tonight? 140 00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,809 Ugh, yes. Work has been killing me. 141 00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:24,109 I was praised on an Alt-right website last week. 142 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,239 Well, Tony 2's taking us dancing at a gay club. 143 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,333 You wanna come, Garrett? 144 00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:31,169 Right, yeah. I can't go to gay bars. 145 00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:34,469 It's impolite to give a boner that you can't reciprocate. 146 00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:35,509 Oh. 147 00:07:35,510 --> 00:07:38,389 Right. Let's go shower. 148 00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:47,239 What? We're in Europe. 149 00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:15,009 Can you sign my test please? 150 00:08:15,010 --> 00:08:17,639 100% in your Latin test? 151 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,639 That's very good. 152 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,649 "Brad Pitt played Achilles in which film?" 153 00:08:22,650 --> 00:08:24,149 Troy. 154 00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:27,149 "What is your name in pig Latin?" 155 00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,323 Iles-gi. 156 00:08:28,324 --> 00:08:31,304 Well, what idiot teacher would put together a test like this? 157 00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:38,509 Oh, Duffy! My man! 158 00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:39,929 How's it going, brother? 159 00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:42,179 Hey, guys. How was your honeymoon? 160 00:08:42,180 --> 00:08:44,769 Oh, man... 161 00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:47,029 I don't know what you heard about Antarctica, 162 00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:48,909 but it is cold! 163 00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:50,239 A penguin bit my ass. 164 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,449 Duffy, this place is a mess. 165 00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:55,089 If I wanted a drunk slob to house sit, 166 00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:56,919 I would've asked any one of my cousins 167 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,139 or my uncles or my parents. 168 00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:00,599 Yeah, well, it's not my fault. 169 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,349 You should fire your house cleaner 170 00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:04,559 because she said that I was bumming her out, 171 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,069 and then she left. 172 00:09:06,070 --> 00:09:07,819 Uh, 173 00:09:07,820 --> 00:09:09,739 is everything okay, Duff? 174 00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:13,329 I mean, this isn't, uh, Maya-related, is it? 175 00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:15,169 No, Craig. 176 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:17,549 I was emotionally destroyed by a different woman 177 00:09:17,550 --> 00:09:19,549 in the two weeks that you were gone. 178 00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,929 Oh, no. 179 00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:24,189 You really have the worst luck. 180 00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:26,059 What? No. It's Maya. 181 00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,109 I'm still mad at Maya. 182 00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:30,989 I get it, but I don't think she meant to hurt you, brother. 183 00:09:30,990 --> 00:09:32,283 You don't know that. 184 00:09:32,284 --> 00:09:35,947 Oh, there's a lot about her that you don't know. 185 00:09:35,948 --> 00:09:38,368 - A lot. - Like what? 186 00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:45,939 Nothing. I, uh... I'm late for school. 187 00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:47,979 I'm sorry that I drank all your alcohol 188 00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:50,569 and I broke your computer with a virus from a porn. 189 00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:52,119 What? 190 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,669 The Hounslow Community Theatre led to my love of the arts 191 00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:00,469 and made me believe in my potential. 192 00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:03,219 These kids deserve the same opportunity. 193 00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:06,389 Please. Give as much as you can. 194 00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:08,399 ♪ So long, farewell ♪ 195 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,399 ♪ Au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen ♪ 196 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,319 Enough. Julie Andrews will be rolling in her grave. 197 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,723 Julie Andrews is still alive. 198 00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:16,669 No, you're thinking of Julie Christie. I'm right. 199 00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:30,365 Okay, boys, now Helen of Troy is described 200 00:10:30,366 --> 00:10:32,609 as "the face that launched a thousand ships". 201 00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:34,659 What if you had a secret love letter 202 00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:38,459 written by Helen to Paris that you could give to Ainsley? 203 00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,129 Who's Ainsley? 204 00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:41,969 Uh, Menelaus. 205 00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:44,679 And you know I meant Menelaus. Do not be obtuse, Bernard. 206 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,123 But, Mr. Duffy, 207 00:10:46,124 --> 00:10:50,069 in this thinly-veiled analogy to your own romantic failings, 208 00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:53,989 wouldn't showing Menelaus the letter just start the Trojan War sooner? 209 00:10:53,990 --> 00:10:56,199 Yeah, maybe, 210 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,460 or maybe Helen deserves that. 211 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,379 Ah, forget it. Just... it's... class is dismissed. 212 00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,849 So please get out of here. 213 00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:06,469 Go wherever you go. 214 00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:08,599 Mummy? What are you doing here? 215 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,609 I'm here to speak to Mr. Duffy. I'll see you later, darling. 216 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:13,820 - What the hell is this? - Gemma. 217 00:11:15,799 --> 00:11:18,312 It's an A+. The kid's a nerd. What do you want me to tell you? 218 00:11:18,313 --> 00:11:19,572 God, you're a state. 219 00:11:19,573 --> 00:11:21,504 Yeah, I'm kind of going through some stuff right now. 220 00:11:21,505 --> 00:11:24,488 Well, snap out of it. These boys are counting on you. 221 00:11:24,489 --> 00:11:25,848 How are they going to survive in the world 222 00:11:25,849 --> 00:11:27,179 without a thorough grasp of Latin? 223 00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:28,979 I'm trying my best, dude. 224 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,769 Well, dude, I don't pay a small fortune so that 225 00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:33,219 Giles can sit and listen to his teacher 226 00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:34,449 complain about how women hate him. 227 00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:36,029 Oh, yeah, sorry about that. 228 00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:38,153 Well, maybe you could just transfer him. 229 00:11:38,154 --> 00:11:40,052 I hear they have a fantastic Latin department 230 00:11:40,053 --> 00:11:42,129 at Saint I-Don't-Give-A-Shit! 231 00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:48,785 Gemma, wait. I'm sorry about that. 232 00:11:56,697 --> 00:12:00,539 ♪ It feels good to be bad, bad, bad ♪ 233 00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:03,749 ♪ I wanna do whatever I wanna do ♪ 234 00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,969 ♪ 'Cause it feels good ♪ 235 00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:08,639 ♪ To be bad ♪ 236 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,849 ♪ A little fun never hurt anyone ♪ 237 00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,729 ♪ Life's a party ♪ 238 00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:16,489 Oh, my God. I needed a night out. 239 00:12:16,490 --> 00:12:18,489 Two Appletinis please. 240 00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:20,329 This isn't a movie. This is a real gay bar. 241 00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:22,459 Order a normal drink. 242 00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:25,209 Three gin and slimline tonics, please. 243 00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:27,679 So, what's going on with Garrett? 244 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,509 He seems really 245 00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:31,889 sweet and uncomplicated... 246 00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:33,689 like a golden retriever. 247 00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:37,359 Okay, I know you think he's dumb, 248 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,199 and he is... 249 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,749 But in his defense, 250 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:43,249 he only eats one meal every two days. 251 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:46,459 And it's not like we're dating. I barely even know him. 252 00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,929 So you're, like, strangers with benefits. 253 00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:50,559 - Exactly. - I like that. 254 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,203 Besides, after Kash, 255 00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,609 I didn't think I was gonna ever wanna be with anyone again, 256 00:12:54,610 --> 00:12:57,859 but... I'm totally fine. 257 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:01,119 Yeah, well, you sounded fine three times this morning. 258 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,329 - Up top, Ains, whoo! - Oh, shit! 259 00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:05,539 Oh, my God. Andrew. 260 00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:08,719 Oh, you need to stop thinking about your boss. It's like... 261 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,889 No, no. He's here. 262 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,639 ♪ Get a little bit nasty ♪ 263 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,439 Hi, Andrew. 264 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,325 What a fun surprise. Do you come to G-A-Y often? 265 00:13:19,326 --> 00:13:21,159 I like the subtlety of the name. 266 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,119 - Hello, I'm Andrew. - Hi. 267 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,919 Hi, I'm Ainsley. 268 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,379 Oh, I know you. 269 00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:28,629 Ah, yes, it's me, Andrew Aldridge, 270 00:13:28,630 --> 00:13:31,759 the first openly gay MP in my party. 271 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,979 It's quite a story. If we had time... 272 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,859 The year was 2002. 273 00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:40,359 Nicole Kidman was about to win the Oscar by a nose. 274 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,539 Well, that's just it. 275 00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:45,485 It was 2002. What have you done since then? 276 00:13:45,486 --> 00:13:46,609 I beg your pardon? 277 00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:49,169 Since coming out, you've completely forgotten about people like me. 278 00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:51,509 I think you're mistaken. 279 00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:54,219 My voting record is impeccable. 280 00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:57,109 Yes, on issues like cutting inheritance tax for millionaires, 281 00:13:57,110 --> 00:13:59,069 and "keeping Britain British". 282 00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:02,239 Uh, Maya, your friend doesn't know what he's talking about. 283 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,239 He's... he's more Ainsley's friend. 284 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:06,249 You may have been brave once, 285 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:09,629 but now you only help rich, old white people. 286 00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:11,259 You're a gay dinosaur. 287 00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:13,389 That's why everyone calls you LGBT-Rex. 288 00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:14,663 That's enough. 289 00:14:14,664 --> 00:14:19,269 I will not be spoken down to by a man in a mesh top. 290 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,869 Okay, well, I think we've all learned a lot here tonight at G-A-Y, 291 00:14:25,870 --> 00:14:28,289 and so Ainsley and I are gonna say B-Y-E. Bye. 292 00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,049 Aww... oh. Nice to meet you. 293 00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:34,719 - You don't remember me, do you? - No. 294 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,599 Halloween two years ago. 295 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,899 I was Britney, Slave 4 U era. 296 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:42,659 You were Richard Gere, An Officer and a Gentleman. 297 00:14:42,660 --> 00:14:44,319 You kept your socks on. 298 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,039 I thought we had a nice time. 299 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,989 But I guess it's too much to ask someone like you 300 00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:51,089 to remember someone like me. 301 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:08,119 Ta-da! I went a lot over budget! 302 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,759 Well, I think, uh... I think this is all right. 303 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,509 All right? 304 00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:17,889 Do you know how hard it was to design a home 305 00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:20,269 for a gruff, monosyllabic oilman? 306 00:15:20,270 --> 00:15:21,609 No. 307 00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:24,359 Very hard. I want compliments. 308 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,369 Well, um, all right. 309 00:15:26,370 --> 00:15:29,039 I'd say, um, yeah, I think this works. 310 00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,629 Well, that is effusive for me. 311 00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:34,219 Oh, come on. 312 00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:36,259 You spent half an hour describing the nuance 313 00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:39,479 of Clint Eastwood's performance in The Outlaw Josey Wales. 314 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,229 People just give too many compliments. 315 00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:44,739 Everyone's like, "That's amazeballs. I'm #dead." 316 00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:47,084 I'll, uh, I'll tell somebody something's good when I... 317 00:15:47,085 --> 00:15:48,449 when I mean it. 318 00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:51,079 Hey, what's that? 319 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,709 Is that Love Field? 320 00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:54,044 Yes. 321 00:15:54,045 --> 00:15:57,158 That is an artist rendering from the 1950s. 322 00:15:57,159 --> 00:15:59,599 That's such a pretty name for an airport. 323 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,569 My father designed that building. 324 00:16:03,570 --> 00:16:06,199 I know, dummy. That's why I put it on your wall. 325 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,619 Ainsley Howard. Now, this? 326 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,553 This is good. 327 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:14,049 You're right. That does feel better knowing you really mean it. 328 00:16:15,510 --> 00:16:16,825 So what's next? 329 00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:21,309 That's it. 330 00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:23,229 My work here is done. 331 00:16:23,230 --> 00:16:24,899 Really? You finished? 332 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,989 I am. 333 00:16:26,990 --> 00:16:29,199 But it's been a real pleasure. 334 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,910 I'm gonna miss working with you. 335 00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:38,049 The garden... you can decorate the garden. 336 00:16:38,050 --> 00:16:40,639 Well, I'm not really a landscaper. 337 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,229 Uh, well, I trust your eye. 338 00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:46,319 Okay. Well, it's your money. I'm happy to spend it. 339 00:16:58,130 --> 00:17:01,059 Just look at this. 340 00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:04,439 Why do I hire young people if they can't prevent things like this? 341 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,189 You're supposed to keep me awoken. 342 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:08,069 Oh, do you mean woke? 343 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:09,869 Do I? 344 00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:13,959 How dare that man say that I only help people like me. 345 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,281 How do you explain my support 346 00:17:15,282 --> 00:17:17,695 for the women's flower club or the children's library bus? 347 00:17:17,696 --> 00:17:20,429 Do I look like a woman or a child, Tony? 348 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:23,019 Uh, it's Marcus... 349 00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:24,389 my... my name. 350 00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,229 Well, I can't speak for Tony, 351 00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:28,819 but maybe he's referring to your party's 352 00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,819 less than progressive stance 353 00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:33,449 on... everything. 354 00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:35,209 Oh, I just... 355 00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:38,379 I just hate that people might think I'm the bad guy. 356 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,929 I'm not the bad guy. 357 00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:43,679 I voted for Black History Week. 358 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,059 - Month. - A whole month? 359 00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:47,979 Well... That's wonderful. 360 00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,529 Can I just say that 361 00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:51,819 I'm thrilled that you're concerned about this. 362 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,079 I would love to help you change your image. 363 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,869 What do you suggest? 364 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:59,419 Maybe you could pair a suit with some fun sneakers. 365 00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:01,616 Or maybe you could support a cause 366 00:18:01,617 --> 00:18:03,349 that people wouldn't expect from you, 367 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:07,229 like an at-risk youth program or a women's shelter. 368 00:18:07,230 --> 00:18:10,529 Oh, yes. Good idea, Maya. Compile a list. 369 00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:13,869 Uh, what about a struggling community theater in Hounslow? 370 00:18:13,870 --> 00:18:15,409 What? No. 371 00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:17,209 I-I just don't think that's a good idea. 372 00:18:17,210 --> 00:18:18,549 Wait. What is it? 373 00:18:18,550 --> 00:18:20,259 It's a bunch of poor, 374 00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:22,549 ethnically diverse kids doing Sound of Music. 375 00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:24,259 Picture it, sir... Muslims, Hindus, 376 00:18:24,260 --> 00:18:26,689 girls in headscarves, risking everything to sing. 377 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,859 Probably. Think of the photo op. 378 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:30,529 Sounds perfect. 379 00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:32,029 Yeah, or not. 380 00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:33,829 I can... I can come up with some other options. 381 00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:35,959 She's just jealous that she didn't think of it first. 382 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,089 The decision is made. 383 00:18:40,090 --> 00:18:42,339 These children are in need. 384 00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,799 Well done, Marcus. 385 00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:56,539 Mr. Duffy, is it true that you told a parent 386 00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:58,459 if they disliked your teaching style, 387 00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:00,289 they could transfer their child to, 388 00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:04,009 "Saint I-Don't-Give-A-Shit's"? 389 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,099 Headmaster Mould, I'm kinda going through 390 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:09,399 some unprecedented relationship trauma. 391 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,779 Would you ever consider a paid sabbatical? 392 00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:13,149 No. 393 00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:15,869 This academy stayed open during the Blitz. 394 00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:18,789 A math teacher confronted a German paratrooper 395 00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:21,129 and beat him to death with a trigonometry book. 396 00:19:21,130 --> 00:19:22,709 Oh, my God. 397 00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:24,383 The point is, you're not getting time off 398 00:19:24,384 --> 00:19:26,809 just because some girl you've dated for a month has dumped you. 399 00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:28,229 How did you know that? 400 00:19:28,230 --> 00:19:30,399 Because you told everyone. 401 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,729 Mr. Duffy, you leave me no choice 402 00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:35,199 but to assign another teacher to monitor your classes 403 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,119 until you find yourself. 404 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,499 Oh, yeah? Who? 405 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,499 Hello, Duffy. 406 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,309 Hi, Tabby. 407 00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:55,489 Okay, the next cue is on page 32. 408 00:19:55,490 --> 00:19:58,489 And lights out. 409 00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:02,959 Bruv, come on. 410 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,549 Oh! Oh, shit. Sorry, bro. 411 00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:07,549 Go to the next cue. Stop texting Fatima. 412 00:20:07,550 --> 00:20:09,889 There it is... 413 00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:13,069 that anger and resentment that you keep saying doesn't exist. 414 00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:14,939 Let it go, my brother. Let it come outside your body. 415 00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:16,859 I'm only angry because it's taken you an hour 416 00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:19,449 to get through five light cues. 417 00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:21,159 You're probably right. 418 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,285 Let me get to... here it comes. Here it comes, yeah? 419 00:20:23,286 --> 00:20:24,709 Here we go. 420 00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:26,719 Thank you. 421 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,219 Okay, and then the lights come up on page 33. 422 00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:32,729 She's funny. 423 00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,819 Bash, turn on the lights! 424 00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:36,859 If you could give us a tour and maybe tell us 425 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,949 a little bit about what you guys do here, 'cause we... 426 00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:41,079 - Maya? - Yeah, well, of course. 427 00:20:51,690 --> 00:20:52,859 Well, we lost 428 00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:55,268 our local authority funding a couple of years ago, 429 00:20:55,269 --> 00:20:57,949 and we haven't been able to raise enough money to do the repairs. 430 00:20:57,950 --> 00:21:00,199 Oh, that's just heartbreaking. 431 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,459 Uh, you voted for that austerity bill, sir. 432 00:21:03,460 --> 00:21:05,879 Well, this is exactly 433 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,629 what I'm looking for. 434 00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:11,349 I'd like to personally fund 435 00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:15,359 the renovations of this whole theater. 436 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,069 How does the "Andrew Aldridge 437 00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:21,079 Hounslow Community Theatre" sound? 438 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,123 Are you serious? 439 00:21:22,124 --> 00:21:24,709 Or should it be the "Andrew Aldridge Ethnically Diverse 440 00:21:24,710 --> 00:21:27,589 Community Theatre for Low-Income Urchins"? 441 00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:29,259 No, no. Mine's better. 442 00:21:29,260 --> 00:21:30,533 Give me a tour. 443 00:21:30,534 --> 00:21:33,019 Well, yes. Let's start with the wings. 444 00:21:33,020 --> 00:21:35,939 - Love the... - Please, watch your step. 445 00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:37,983 Thanks so much for this. 446 00:21:37,984 --> 00:21:39,692 After the way we left things at the wedding, 447 00:21:39,693 --> 00:21:40,831 I didn't think I'd see you again. 448 00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:42,789 Trust me. I had nothing to do with this. 449 00:21:42,790 --> 00:21:45,209 This is literally the last place on Earth I wanna be. 450 00:21:45,210 --> 00:21:47,549 Wait, so you're not here because of me? 451 00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:49,089 No, I'm here for work, 452 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:52,599 and maybe some kind of cosmic punishment? 453 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,179 Maya! 454 00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:56,989 Ooh, you looking good, girl. Ooh. 455 00:21:56,990 --> 00:21:59,072 I didn't mean that as a come on, by the way, because 456 00:21:59,073 --> 00:22:01,619 I'm taken now, so... 457 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,909 Sorry, mate. I keep rubbing salt in your wounds, innit? 458 00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:06,119 Uh, Fatima and I broke up. 459 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:07,669 Turns out she's in love with this guy. 460 00:22:07,670 --> 00:22:09,509 Huh? 461 00:22:09,510 --> 00:22:12,719 She in love with me? She told you that? 462 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,219 Bruv, can we have a minute? 463 00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:16,849 Yes, you can. 464 00:22:16,850 --> 00:22:18,953 Look, this whole thing with Fatima, I... 465 00:22:18,954 --> 00:22:20,902 It's none of my business. I-I don't care. 466 00:22:20,903 --> 00:22:22,029 Do you two know each other? 467 00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:24,239 - No, not really. - Yes, we have mutual friends. 468 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,459 Oh, that's lucky. In that case, Maya can be my point person here, 469 00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:29,919 overseeing the renovations 470 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,219 and handling any press interest. 471 00:22:33,220 --> 00:22:35,639 Wait, no. This is Marcus's project. 472 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,229 He should be the one to see it through. 473 00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:39,649 Yep, but you already have a relationship here. 474 00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:42,779 Plus, given the optics, 475 00:22:42,780 --> 00:22:45,580 you're a little more au courant. 476 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:49,419 Are you saying I'm too white? 477 00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:51,799 Uh, well, legally, I'm not allowed to say that, 478 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,219 but yes, that's all I'm saying. 479 00:22:53,220 --> 00:22:54,679 - Yeah. - Shall we? 480 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,189 Yes, let's come through the auditorium, 481 00:22:58,190 --> 00:23:00,569 and I'll take you out to the... 482 00:23:00,570 --> 00:23:03,780 I guess we're gonna be seeing a lot more of you 'round here, then. 483 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,999 Urbs antiqua fuit. 484 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,389 Urbs antiqua fuit. 485 00:23:14,390 --> 00:23:16,059 That's what I said. 486 00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:19,400 No, it isn't. Your pronunciation's terrible. 487 00:23:23,004 --> 00:23:25,527 _ 488 00:23:25,528 --> 00:23:29,959 _ 489 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,589 I hate to side with Miss, 490 00:23:31,590 --> 00:23:34,469 but I do think lessons could be more rigorous. 491 00:23:34,470 --> 00:23:36,679 I couldn't understand any of that. 492 00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:45,029 Hey! 493 00:23:45,030 --> 00:23:47,159 Hey, you! 494 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,789 Stop! 495 00:23:48,790 --> 00:23:51,959 You narc! You narc! 496 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,215 Will you please stop shouting in a public square? 497 00:23:54,216 --> 00:23:55,299 This isn't Italy. 498 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,219 You grassed on me to the headmaster, 499 00:23:57,220 --> 00:24:00,349 and now he has Tabby spying on my ass! 500 00:24:00,350 --> 00:24:02,609 Well, she obviously isn't doing a very good job. 501 00:24:02,610 --> 00:24:04,649 You still appear unhinged and unwashed. 502 00:24:04,650 --> 00:24:06,949 You know what? I'm sorry. 503 00:24:06,950 --> 00:24:08,449 I just lost my girlfriend, 504 00:24:08,450 --> 00:24:10,499 and you of all people should understand. 505 00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:12,669 Are you taking the piss? 506 00:24:14,130 --> 00:24:17,049 My husband died, you insensitive oaf! 507 00:24:17,050 --> 00:24:18,418 I have eggs my refrigerator 508 00:24:18,419 --> 00:24:20,284 that have lasted longer than your relationship. 509 00:24:20,285 --> 00:24:22,229 I'm sorry. Shit! 510 00:24:22,230 --> 00:24:23,819 I'm sorry! 511 00:24:23,820 --> 00:24:25,609 Yes. 512 00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:26,989 I know it's not the same. 513 00:24:26,990 --> 00:24:29,829 It's just... it's just that Maya was... 514 00:24:29,830 --> 00:24:32,369 Oh, shut up and get over it. 515 00:24:32,370 --> 00:24:34,089 You're a hungover, 30-year-old man 516 00:24:34,090 --> 00:24:36,549 in stained trousers who doesn't like his life. 517 00:24:36,550 --> 00:24:39,099 You can try to blame Maya or Tabby or me, 518 00:24:39,100 --> 00:24:41,559 but the real person you should be blaming is yourself. 519 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,809 I say this as a friend. 520 00:24:43,810 --> 00:24:47,109 Get your shit together, you idiot! 521 00:26:02,050 --> 00:26:04,219 _ 522 00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:17,629 _ 523 00:26:30,650 --> 00:26:32,069 Tabby. 524 00:26:32,070 --> 00:26:35,199 Hey, Tabby. 525 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,619 - Hi. - What do you want, Duffy? 526 00:26:36,620 --> 00:26:38,459 I'm waiting for someone. 527 00:26:38,460 --> 00:26:40,589 I just wanna say I'm so sorry about the way 528 00:26:40,590 --> 00:26:43,179 I handled things between us. 529 00:26:43,180 --> 00:26:45,219 And you should know that I got what I deserved. 530 00:26:45,220 --> 00:26:47,350 Well, I appreciate you saying that. 531 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:52,449 Yeah, so, 532 00:26:52,450 --> 00:26:56,409 I guess we're both, um, members of the Lonely Hearts Club now, huh? 533 00:26:56,410 --> 00:26:59,379 What? Oh, no, I'm not single. 534 00:26:59,380 --> 00:27:01,799 Actually, I'm dating another American guy. 535 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,259 He's a writer too. 536 00:27:03,260 --> 00:27:05,889 Oh, awesome. 537 00:27:05,890 --> 00:27:07,559 Anyone I would know? 538 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,689 Probably not... he writes mostly romance novels. 539 00:27:10,690 --> 00:27:13,609 Oh, this is me. 540 00:27:13,610 --> 00:27:16,789 Well, see you later, Duffy. 541 00:27:25,470 --> 00:27:28,139 You know, you really don't have to do that. 542 00:27:28,140 --> 00:27:31,359 Yeah, I know, but I felt kinda guilty watching Mrs. Ali do it, 543 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,569 especially when she kept saying, "Ow, my arthritis." 544 00:27:33,570 --> 00:27:36,630 Well, I'm sorry you got stuck helping us. 545 00:27:39,370 --> 00:27:41,249 I'm not. 546 00:27:41,250 --> 00:27:44,259 Contrary to what Andrew thinks, I didn't get into politics 547 00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:46,849 to help him decide which tie makes him look less racist. 548 00:27:48,470 --> 00:27:50,462 So, why did you get into it? 549 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,069 Uh, to help people? 550 00:27:54,070 --> 00:27:57,279 Really? Are you a do-gooder? 551 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,119 Well, have you thought about doing something else? 552 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:00,789 Yeah, I've thought about it... 553 00:28:00,790 --> 00:28:03,499 called a headhunter and everything, 554 00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:06,139 but since Andrew seems to have found a heart, 555 00:28:06,140 --> 00:28:09,059 I'm actually enjoying the job. 556 00:28:09,060 --> 00:28:12,689 Well, I'm glad you're here. 557 00:28:12,690 --> 00:28:14,279 Me too. 558 00:28:17,740 --> 00:28:20,039 - Sorry about that! - Come on, bruv! 559 00:28:27,510 --> 00:28:29,509 Oh. 560 00:28:29,510 --> 00:28:31,269 What are you doing here? 561 00:28:31,270 --> 00:28:34,939 You finally thought of a decent comeback? 562 00:28:34,940 --> 00:28:36,359 Only took you a month. 563 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:37,619 Uh, no. 564 00:28:37,620 --> 00:28:40,619 I'd like to apologize. 565 00:28:40,620 --> 00:28:42,829 For what? 566 00:28:42,830 --> 00:28:45,299 Brexit? Austerity? 567 00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:47,009 Fracking? 568 00:28:47,010 --> 00:28:49,509 That waistcoat? 569 00:28:49,510 --> 00:28:51,889 Oh, no. I'd never apologize for this waistcoat. 570 00:28:51,890 --> 00:28:57,489 I've had it since university, and I never had to let it out. 571 00:28:57,490 --> 00:29:00,279 No, I'm... sorry 572 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,169 I didn't remember you. 573 00:29:03,170 --> 00:29:05,709 Um, 574 00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:09,509 I'm not accustomed to, uh, dating. 575 00:29:09,510 --> 00:29:11,349 In my line of work, 576 00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:14,099 a personal life is a liability, 577 00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:18,819 especially if you're... like us. 578 00:29:18,820 --> 00:29:21,829 So, I'd like to move on. 579 00:29:21,830 --> 00:29:26,249 There's a production of The Sound of Music this Saturday... 580 00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:27,443 Stop. 581 00:29:27,444 --> 00:29:29,017 You don't really want to date me. 582 00:29:29,018 --> 00:29:32,219 You just want to make yourself feel better. 583 00:29:32,220 --> 00:29:34,269 Well, I'd rather you left me out of it. 584 00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:40,069 I'm sorry. I... I won't bother you again. 585 00:29:57,150 --> 00:29:58,443 Kashif! 586 00:29:58,444 --> 00:30:00,779 Kashif, I know you're in 'cause I heard the toilet flush. 587 00:30:00,780 --> 00:30:02,829 What... 588 00:30:02,830 --> 00:30:04,909 Bruv, 589 00:30:04,910 --> 00:30:07,459 I got some bad news. 590 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,599 Go there. 591 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,139 It's real bad. 592 00:30:14,140 --> 00:30:17,189 You lost all of the lighting cues I gave you? 593 00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:20,109 Okay, now I have two pieces of bad news for you. 594 00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:22,279 Listen, man. Me and Fatima are getting serious. 595 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,080 Oh, God, not this again. 596 00:30:24,081 --> 00:30:26,419 Bro, we had the families meet up last night, and let me tell you this. 597 00:30:26,420 --> 00:30:28,339 It could not have gone better. 598 00:30:28,340 --> 00:30:30,549 I know you must be gutted to hear that. I'm very sorry. 599 00:30:30,550 --> 00:30:33,680 Bash, how many times do I have to tell you I'm happy for you two? 600 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,099 Are you serious? 601 00:30:37,100 --> 00:30:39,359 You got no lingering emotions? 602 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,319 No feelings of utter emascula... 603 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,320 For the love of God, no. I like Maya. 604 00:30:45,330 --> 00:30:47,249 I could see that, yeah. Oh, hold on a minute. 605 00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:49,879 Ain't she your ex-fiancée's... 606 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,129 Yeah. Exactly. 607 00:30:52,130 --> 00:30:54,559 Shit. 608 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,679 Sit down. Sit down. You know what, my brother? 609 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,359 Listen to me. Don't stress about it. 610 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,439 Listen, if it's meant to be, 611 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,659 you two will find your way to each other. 612 00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:05,949 - I hope you're right, man. - Yeah. 613 00:31:05,950 --> 00:31:09,539 And listen, man, I... I'm so glad that you're over Fatima, you know? 614 00:31:10,704 --> 00:31:13,513 'Cause here's the thing... our chaperone cancelled tonight. 615 00:31:15,390 --> 00:31:17,479 You know, um, Basheer, it's... 616 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,399 it's very reassuring for a woman to know that 617 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,859 her man can escape a room in under half an hour. 618 00:31:21,860 --> 00:31:23,859 - It's very important. - Yeah. 619 00:31:23,860 --> 00:31:27,079 I also know exactly what to do in a Purge situation. 620 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,789 - Okay. - Go hiding. 621 00:31:30,984 --> 00:31:32,684 _ 622 00:31:33,450 --> 00:31:37,474 _ 623 00:31:37,475 --> 00:31:39,628 - Funny. - Yeah, hilarious. 624 00:31:39,629 --> 00:31:40,652 Mm. 625 00:31:40,653 --> 00:31:42,689 _ 626 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,969 Hey, your honeymoon photos are just outtakes from Fifty Shades of Grey. 627 00:31:56,970 --> 00:31:58,559 Were you at a nudist colony? 628 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,189 No, this was just Heathrow before we left. 629 00:32:01,190 --> 00:32:03,939 Hang on. I'm sure I took some decent ones. 630 00:32:03,940 --> 00:32:06,029 Oh, cool, Craig's butt. 631 00:32:06,030 --> 00:32:07,489 It's like we're roommates again. 632 00:32:07,490 --> 00:32:09,829 Oh, look at you. 633 00:32:09,830 --> 00:32:12,129 What's up with the blazer? Is it your confirmation? 634 00:32:12,130 --> 00:32:13,799 What? No. 635 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,879 You know, can't a guy update his look? 636 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,639 No. I'm the sharp dresser in the group. 637 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,139 Stay in your lane, playboy. 638 00:32:19,140 --> 00:32:21,139 Well, I like it. 639 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:26,699 Mm. 640 00:32:26,700 --> 00:32:30,409 So, how's our friend Andrew doing? 641 00:32:30,410 --> 00:32:33,289 He's good. You certainly made an impression. 642 00:32:33,290 --> 00:32:35,549 - Doubt it. - No, you did. 643 00:32:35,550 --> 00:32:38,679 He's now sponsoring the renovation of a community theater 644 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,849 in Hounslow because of what you said to him. 645 00:32:40,850 --> 00:32:42,859 What? You sure it's not just a front 646 00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:44,859 so he can force immigrant children to polish his silver? 647 00:32:44,860 --> 00:32:46,439 No, it's real. 648 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,529 They're doing Sound of Music. 649 00:32:48,530 --> 00:32:50,829 You know, Andrew must really value your opinion, 650 00:32:50,830 --> 00:32:51,909 'cause he pays me for mine, 651 00:32:51,910 --> 00:32:53,289 and still does not listen to it. 652 00:32:53,290 --> 00:32:56,049 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No more talk about Andrew. 653 00:32:56,050 --> 00:32:58,389 I hate him. He makes you work, like, 90 hours a week. 654 00:32:58,390 --> 00:32:59,889 I never see her anymore. 655 00:32:59,890 --> 00:33:01,519 I know. I'm so sorry. 656 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,689 It's just been so busy. 657 00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:05,348 Okay, well, last night, I had to eat 658 00:33:05,349 --> 00:33:07,239 dinner alone like a sad friend widow. 659 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,829 I had to smell your sweater yesterday to remember you. 660 00:33:09,830 --> 00:33:12,579 I'm so lame. 661 00:33:12,580 --> 00:33:14,589 Mm. 662 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,650 - Oh, hi, Duffy. - Yeah. 663 00:33:26,124 --> 00:33:27,667 I'm not stealing this. 664 00:33:27,668 --> 00:33:29,130 I-I left it here a couple weeks ago 665 00:33:29,131 --> 00:33:30,994 and Ainsley never drank it, so I just... 666 00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:37,919 It's really nice to see you. 667 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,639 You too. 668 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,979 Hey, I-I know I put you in an awkward... 669 00:33:42,980 --> 00:33:45,150 No, no. It's-it's fine. I'm over it. 670 00:33:48,900 --> 00:33:51,239 I really am over it. 671 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,499 Ah, ooh, here's one at brunch, 672 00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:55,539 right before we had sex in the omelet line. 673 00:33:55,540 --> 00:33:57,169 Oh, boy. 674 00:33:57,170 --> 00:33:58,370 - Oh, boy. - It's gonna be bad. 675 00:34:01,850 --> 00:34:04,519 Huh. Well, this is interesting. 676 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,229 Turns out Kew Gardens has the oldest pot plant in the world. 677 00:34:07,230 --> 00:34:09,109 1770. 678 00:34:09,110 --> 00:34:11,529 Now that is a neat fact. 679 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,829 - What? - Nothing, no. 680 00:34:15,830 --> 00:34:19,299 You just always get so excited about little facts. 681 00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:21,509 You remind me of my seventh grade history teacher. 682 00:34:21,510 --> 00:34:23,809 - Hmm, don't love that. - Oh, no, no. 683 00:34:23,810 --> 00:34:26,189 He was cute. All the girls had a crush on him. 684 00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:27,809 Anyway, let's talk about your backyard. 685 00:34:27,810 --> 00:34:28,913 Sure. 686 00:34:28,914 --> 00:34:32,703 Um, is there anything you're seeing that you like, or... 687 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,669 Honestly, I... I hardly know one flower from another. 688 00:34:37,670 --> 00:34:39,083 Same goes for wine. 689 00:34:39,084 --> 00:34:41,169 Oh, I... I don't know anything about wine either. 690 00:34:41,170 --> 00:34:43,549 I mean, I pretend I do so that I seem fancy, but... 691 00:34:43,550 --> 00:34:45,429 - Naturally. - Honestly, 692 00:34:45,430 --> 00:34:47,849 my favorite is still the house red from the Cracker Barrel. 693 00:34:47,850 --> 00:34:49,569 Oh, hell no. 694 00:34:49,570 --> 00:34:51,279 Yeah. Shit, yeah. 695 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:52,819 - You're a Texas girl. - Yeah. 696 00:34:52,820 --> 00:34:54,409 I had my first kiss in a Cracker Barrel. 697 00:34:54,410 --> 00:34:56,959 Oh, let me tell you about a Texas first kiss. 698 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,419 - Come on now. - Okay. 699 00:34:58,420 --> 00:35:00,629 Mine was in the back of a pickup truck 700 00:35:00,630 --> 00:35:02,259 after a football game. 701 00:35:02,260 --> 00:35:04,759 - Classic. - I got chiggers. 702 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,789 Yeah, you would. 703 00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:10,977 When I'm talking to you, I feel like I'm back home. 704 00:35:12,450 --> 00:35:13,949 I feel like I'm home too. 705 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:31,149 Been wanting to do that for a long time. 706 00:35:31,150 --> 00:35:32,859 I'm sorry. 707 00:35:32,860 --> 00:35:34,689 I'm seeing someone, and... 708 00:35:36,700 --> 00:35:39,959 I just can't. 709 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,380 I'm sorry. 710 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,449 Ah, there you are. 711 00:35:55,450 --> 00:35:58,079 Um, how far along are we 712 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,789 on that Hounslow theater project? 713 00:36:00,790 --> 00:36:04,009 Uh, the opening night's this weekend, remember? 714 00:36:04,010 --> 00:36:05,679 You're the guest of honor. 715 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,147 I just ordered a hundred cupcakes with your face on them. 716 00:36:08,148 --> 00:36:10,649 Oh, that's unfortunate. 717 00:36:10,650 --> 00:36:12,109 What is going on? 718 00:36:12,110 --> 00:36:14,649 Uh, the party whip reacted negatively 719 00:36:14,650 --> 00:36:16,869 to Andrew bankrolling a theater in Hounslow. 720 00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:19,249 Of course he did. Why? 721 00:36:19,250 --> 00:36:22,079 Because it's an immigrant neighborhood full of brown people? 722 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,719 Uh, no, because it's one of the opposition's constituencies. 723 00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:26,379 God, you're racist for even saying that. 724 00:36:26,380 --> 00:36:27,883 Oh, my God. 725 00:36:27,884 --> 00:36:28,985 Whatever the reason, 726 00:36:28,986 --> 00:36:31,479 this isn't worth jeopardizing my position in the party. 727 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,519 - Moving on. - No, not moving on. 728 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,989 You can't pull out right now, okay? 729 00:36:35,990 --> 00:36:38,949 If you're not there on Saturday, no one will show. 730 00:36:38,950 --> 00:36:41,289 - No one will donate. - Why do you care so much? 731 00:36:41,290 --> 00:36:43,249 You didn't want to do this in the first place. 732 00:36:43,250 --> 00:36:45,509 Well, because Ka... everyone there 733 00:36:45,510 --> 00:36:49,349 has worked really hard, and what am I gonna tell the kids? 734 00:36:49,350 --> 00:36:50,929 Oh, tell them I've been taken ill. 735 00:36:50,930 --> 00:36:53,019 That's what my father did for all my birthdays. 736 00:36:53,020 --> 00:36:55,899 I'm sorry, but politics forces us to make difficult decisions. 737 00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:58,739 - I've made up my mind. - But you can't do this. 738 00:36:58,740 --> 00:37:01,369 Ah, I said I've made up my mind. 739 00:37:01,370 --> 00:37:04,169 If you don't agree, you can find work elsewhere. 740 00:37:31,180 --> 00:37:34,189 Shit. Oh, shit, shit, shit. 741 00:37:34,190 --> 00:37:36,150 I can hear you saying "shit". 742 00:37:38,190 --> 00:37:40,779 Bryce. Hi. 743 00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:42,949 Uh, look, I'm sorry about yesterday. 744 00:37:42,950 --> 00:37:44,999 I didn't know you were seeing somebody. 745 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,419 But I don't regret it. 746 00:37:47,420 --> 00:37:49,719 I like you, 747 00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:52,009 and I'd be mad at myself if I... 748 00:37:52,010 --> 00:37:55,020 if I let you walk away without telling you how I feel. 749 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,489 Well, I'm sorry too for 750 00:37:59,490 --> 00:38:02,029 giving you the wrong impression. 751 00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:06,129 I am dating someone, and it's serious. 752 00:38:06,130 --> 00:38:08,760 Totally understand. No hard feelings. 753 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:14,020 So I guess you should find somebody else to finish your garden. 754 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,319 I never cared about the garden, Ainsley. 755 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,479 Oh, don't bother to knock. A closed door is but a suggestion. 756 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:40,029 Listen, if you want to fire me, you can fire me... 757 00:38:40,030 --> 00:38:41,909 - You're fired. - But let me talk first. 758 00:38:41,910 --> 00:38:44,489 You made a promise to those kids. 759 00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:45,909 You can't do this. 760 00:38:45,910 --> 00:38:47,999 Do you think this makes me feel good? 761 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,459 I saw that cute little Sikh boy who played Kurt. 762 00:38:50,460 --> 00:38:52,679 He kept pushing up his little glasses. 763 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,059 - So help him. - There is more at stake. 764 00:38:55,060 --> 00:38:56,849 I have my seat to think of. 765 00:38:56,850 --> 00:38:58,729 What is the point of having a seat 766 00:38:58,730 --> 00:39:01,189 if you don't use it to help people? 767 00:39:01,190 --> 00:39:04,779 Don't lecture me. I've been in office since before you were born. 768 00:39:04,780 --> 00:39:06,079 The problem with your generation 769 00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,459 is you don't know what a hard choice looks like. 770 00:39:08,460 --> 00:39:09,786 First of all, 771 00:39:09,787 --> 00:39:12,049 my generation is drowning in your generation's debt, 772 00:39:12,050 --> 00:39:14,049 and we're all gonna die of climate change. 773 00:39:14,050 --> 00:39:16,679 Second of all, "It is incumbent on us 774 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,689 as public servants to give voice to the voiceless." 775 00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:21,609 Oh, and who said that? Oprah? 776 00:39:21,610 --> 00:39:23,659 Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie? 777 00:39:23,660 --> 00:39:26,159 Whoa, you know how to pronounce that? 778 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,499 And no, it's not her anyway. 779 00:39:31,130 --> 00:39:34,549 It is incumbent on us as public servants 780 00:39:34,550 --> 00:39:37,519 to give voice to the voiceless, 781 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,189 and to remember that we govern and act 782 00:39:40,190 --> 00:39:42,649 on behalf of the people. 783 00:39:42,650 --> 00:39:45,449 We must elevate those who cannot rise 784 00:39:45,450 --> 00:39:47,539 on their own. 785 00:39:47,540 --> 00:39:51,289 I promise to carry out my duties, to serve, 786 00:39:51,290 --> 00:39:54,929 and to represent each and every one of them. 787 00:39:57,140 --> 00:40:01,150 You know, I can't disagree with that handsome bastard. 788 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,289 Are we all ready, little Von Trapplets? 789 00:40:10,290 --> 00:40:13,459 And, ooh, there we are. 790 00:40:13,460 --> 00:40:16,429 Now, smile for the cameras, especially the nuns. 791 00:40:24,236 --> 00:40:27,159 Well, I just think... well, I think it's gonna be absolutely marvelous. 792 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,539 I think your children are absolutely terrific. 793 00:40:29,540 --> 00:40:32,919 It's going to be... um, would you, uh, just excuse me? 794 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:34,550 Just for a moment? 795 00:40:38,970 --> 00:40:42,149 You came. 796 00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:44,269 I'm sorry. 797 00:40:44,270 --> 00:40:45,649 I was a basic bitch, 798 00:40:45,650 --> 00:40:48,779 but... well, you forgot me so easily, 799 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:52,709 and... and it hurt, 800 00:40:52,710 --> 00:40:55,509 'cause I didn't forget you. 801 00:40:55,510 --> 00:40:57,969 Yes, I suppose you were somewhat of a basic bitch, 802 00:40:57,970 --> 00:41:00,349 but, um, 803 00:41:00,350 --> 00:41:01,746 perhaps I deserved it. 804 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,779 So you never really date? 805 00:41:06,780 --> 00:41:08,449 How can that be true? 806 00:41:08,450 --> 00:41:11,369 Well, I became an MP 30 years ago. 807 00:41:11,370 --> 00:41:14,499 Back then, we didn't have what we have now... 808 00:41:14,500 --> 00:41:17,129 marriage, adoption. 809 00:41:17,130 --> 00:41:19,599 Sam Smith would've been forced to marry Adele. 810 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,044 But think of the wonderful Christmas album 811 00:41:22,045 --> 00:41:24,100 they would have made. 812 00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:28,779 I'm glad you came tonight, 813 00:41:28,780 --> 00:41:31,079 Tony, 814 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,209 because you're someone worth remembering. 815 00:41:37,050 --> 00:41:39,090 Uh, shall we, um... 816 00:41:51,870 --> 00:41:56,839 ♪ So somewhere in my youth ♪ 817 00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:01,509 ♪ Or childhood ♪ 818 00:42:01,510 --> 00:42:04,429 ♪ I must have done ♪ 819 00:42:04,430 --> 00:42:09,609 ♪ Something good ♪ 820 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:16,459 ♪ Nothing comes from nothing ♪ 821 00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:20,629 ♪ Nothing ever could ♪ 822 00:42:20,630 --> 00:42:26,309 ♪ So somewhere in my youth ♪ 823 00:42:31,570 --> 00:42:34,869 ♪ I must have done ♪ 824 00:42:34,870 --> 00:42:37,879 ♪ Something ♪ 825 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:42,090 ♪ Good ♪ 826 00:42:55,330 --> 00:42:57,879 Oh, excuse me. 827 00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,549 Hey, that was the greatest thing I've ever seen, 828 00:43:00,550 --> 00:43:02,549 and I've seen Chicago 78 times. 829 00:43:02,550 --> 00:43:04,509 And what did Andrew think? 830 00:43:04,510 --> 00:43:08,769 He said that we did something really important tonight. 831 00:43:08,770 --> 00:43:12,199 We? You tried to kill this yesterday. 832 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:13,869 Yes. 833 00:43:13,870 --> 00:43:16,449 And it's a testament to the strength of our idea 834 00:43:16,450 --> 00:43:19,079 that it succeeded nonetheless... 835 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:21,510 Oh, here he is! 836 00:43:24,850 --> 00:43:27,179 - Well, you didn't suck. - Thanks, bro. 837 00:43:27,180 --> 00:43:30,269 - Wonderful job, beta. - Thanks, Dad. 838 00:43:30,270 --> 00:43:34,069 It good to have hobbies... like me and my checkers club. 839 00:43:49,675 --> 00:43:53,699 _ 840 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,330 _ 841 00:43:58,331 --> 00:44:00,329 _ 842 00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:14,239 _ 843 00:44:16,620 --> 00:44:18,620 _ 844 00:44:22,170 --> 00:44:23,879 Take care. Good to see you. 845 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:26,389 Bye. 846 00:44:26,390 --> 00:44:28,559 Hi. I'm gonna head off. 847 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:32,189 But I just... I just wanted to say 848 00:44:32,190 --> 00:44:34,779 you were really good. 849 00:44:34,780 --> 00:44:37,869 Thank you. 850 00:44:37,870 --> 00:44:40,199 Uh, before you go, 851 00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,209 can I show you something? 852 00:44:55,230 --> 00:44:57,660 - What? - Look. 853 00:45:02,210 --> 00:45:05,089 Oh, cool. 854 00:45:05,090 --> 00:45:06,969 I did it when I was 10. 855 00:45:09,510 --> 00:45:11,599 I basically lived here when I was a kid. 856 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,129 Oh, that's nice. 857 00:45:15,530 --> 00:45:18,109 Thank you for everything. 858 00:45:18,110 --> 00:45:20,539 Oh, I didn't do anything. 859 00:45:20,540 --> 00:45:22,159 Yes, you did. 860 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,249 You gave me the courage to act again, 861 00:45:24,250 --> 00:45:27,219 even if it is only community theater. 862 00:45:27,220 --> 00:45:30,049 I'm happy, and it's all because of you. 863 00:46:39,190 --> 00:46:41,223 Go to bed. 864 00:46:41,224 --> 00:46:49,224 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 62759

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