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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,125 --> 00:00:11,333 Room check! 2 00:00:11,417 --> 00:00:13,083 Oh, shit. 3 00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:15,375 One second! 4 00:00:15,458 --> 00:00:18,417 Come on. Open up. 5 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,875 - Alright, where's the drugs? - Drugs? 6 00:00:20,958 --> 00:00:22,292 What are drugs? 7 00:00:22,375 --> 00:00:25,000 Search her room. Find them! 8 00:00:26,208 --> 00:00:28,833 Oh! Come on, come on, come on. 9 00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:30,750 Let's go, let's go... 10 00:00:31,958 --> 00:00:36,292 Shirts, pants, socks, old pants. That's good! 11 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,542 Ooh, sorry! 12 00:00:47,125 --> 00:00:48,125 Move! 13 00:00:48,208 --> 00:00:50,792 - Excuse me. Sorry. Whoo! - My Yogurt! 14 00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:55,583 - What the fuck? - Sorry! 15 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:56,667 Fucking asshole! 16 00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:28,167 Oh. Excuse me? 17 00:01:29,875 --> 00:01:31,208 Yeah? 18 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,625 Yeah, do you by any chance have any extra quarters? 19 00:01:33,708 --> 00:01:35,625 Oh, um, let me check. 20 00:01:37,792 --> 00:01:39,417 Yeah. 21 00:01:44,917 --> 00:01:45,917 Thanks. 22 00:01:47,250 --> 00:01:48,583 Your name's Montgomery, right? 23 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:49,833 Yeah. 24 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:53,000 And your name's Ashley Mackenzie Merriman Gray? 25 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,417 -That is all four of them. Yeah. -Yeah. 26 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,833 Yeah, Ashley Mackenzie Merriman Gray. Like, it just kind of falls out. 27 00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:01,792 You know, it's funny, I feel like we are always here 28 00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:03,792 at the exact same time. 29 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,667 Well, no one's got dirtier undies than me. 30 00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:10,583 Not from poop, to be clear. 31 00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:13,208 -Or cum. -So, piss? 32 00:02:13,292 --> 00:02:15,333 No, just normal stuff. I'm not weird. 33 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,833 Okay. 34 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,917 I'll see you around. 35 00:02:36,667 --> 00:02:40,208 ♪ Makin' it, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 36 00:02:40,292 --> 00:02:41,708 ♪ Makin' it ♪ 37 00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:47,458 ♪ I'm solid gold, I've got the goods ♪ 38 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:51,000 ♪ They stand when I walk through the neighborhoods ♪ 39 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,375 ♪ I'm makin' it ♪ 40 00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:57,500 -♪ I've got the chance, I'm taking it ♪ -Hey, guys. How are you? 41 00:02:57,583 --> 00:02:59,167 ♪ No more, no more ♪ 42 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,042 ♪ Fakin' it ♪ 43 00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:04,750 -♪ This time in life I'm makin' it ♪ -I'm sorry. 44 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:06,792 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 45 00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:08,583 ♪ Makin' it ♪ 46 00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:10,125 Eat shit. 47 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,750 ♪ Hello uptown, goodbye pov-- ♪ 48 00:03:15,833 --> 00:03:17,125 That's what you get 49 00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:19,083 for ruining the football team, asshole. 50 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,375 Hi. 51 00:03:22,458 --> 00:03:23,667 ♪ I've got the chance-- ♪ 52 00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:25,500 Fuck yourself 53 00:03:25,583 --> 00:03:27,417 and your freak-ass face! 54 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,750 ♪ I'm taking it ♪ 55 00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:31,625 ♪ No more, no more ♪ 56 00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:34,250 ♪ Faking it, it's time to-- ♪ 57 00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,417 There he is! 58 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,958 -Oh, fuck! -♪ Makin' it ♪ 59 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,500 Freak-ass face! 60 00:03:45,583 --> 00:03:48,417 Alright, everybody, fuck off and listen to me for a second, please! 61 00:03:50,625 --> 00:03:51,833 I know... 62 00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:56,625 you're upset about what happened with the football team. 63 00:03:58,667 --> 00:03:59,875 I'm sorry. 64 00:04:01,042 --> 00:04:05,583 But who amongst us all hasn't ever made a mistake? 65 00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,833 We all have. 66 00:04:07,917 --> 00:04:10,292 So, if you don't think that I deserve 67 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,542 the basic human decency of a second chance, 68 00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,875 then fine, go ahead. 69 00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:18,333 Tape me to the top of that clock tower and pelt me 70 00:04:18,417 --> 00:04:21,417 with water balloons full of piss. But if not-- 71 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,333 Goddammit. 72 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,875 Hey, Jack. 73 00:04:40,958 --> 00:04:42,333 Hi, Monty. 74 00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:44,417 -How was your day? -Uh... 75 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,167 Not great. How's yours? 76 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,000 I'm covered in piss. 77 00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:50,375 -I'm sorry. -It's okay. 78 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:51,583 You know what's gonna make it all better? 79 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,250 -Quiet night of sleep. -A concerning amount of alcohol. 80 00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:56,708 -Let's boogie. -Oh, wow, we said very different things. 81 00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:59,625 Housing requests due by midnight. 82 00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:01,875 Guys, housing requests due by midnight. 83 00:05:01,958 --> 00:05:03,042 Montgomery and Jack, 84 00:05:03,125 --> 00:05:04,917 email your housing requests in by midnight. 85 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,625 -Also, Jack, go fuck yourself. -Hm. Ha. 86 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:12,375 Where do you wanna live next year? 87 00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:15,083 Should we do Orrick Tower? 88 00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:18,500 Stonewell Court? Or... Ugh. 89 00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:21,167 As long as it's not Gralk Hall. 90 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,750 That place is literal hell. Know what I mean? 91 00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:29,667 Ah, come on, dude. Stop hiding. Just ask her out. 92 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,208 Are you nuts? No! 93 00:05:31,292 --> 00:05:32,917 -Why? -Girls like Ashley 94 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,667 -don't like guys like me. -What's wrong with you? 95 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:37,500 I'm weird! I sound like a little old man. 96 00:05:37,583 --> 00:05:40,500 Girls like alphas, strong provider types. 97 00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:42,208 Like him. 98 00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:44,792 - Ooh. - Hot. 99 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:48,500 So, that's why I'm gonna trick her into thinking I'm an alpha. 100 00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:50,750 And then, she'll ask me out. 101 00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:53,417 Wow, that's the creepiest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. 102 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,375 -It's not creepy, it's sweet. -You barely know her. 103 00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:56,750 You may not even actually like her. 104 00:05:56,833 --> 00:05:59,542 Of course I like her. When I think of the two of us together, 105 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,833 it feels like I'm floating on a cloud of lavender 106 00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:06,417 while being sung to by lollipop pixies. 107 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,458 Never mind. That's the creepiest thing 108 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:10,167 I've ever heard in my entire life. 109 00:06:11,208 --> 00:06:13,417 Stop staring at her. 110 00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:22,000 It's time to take this and put it into this, 111 00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:23,792 so we can turn off this. 112 00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:25,042 -Look at her. -Whoa. 113 00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,708 -Exquisite, right? -Dang. 114 00:06:26,792 --> 00:06:28,208 Give her a touch. 115 00:06:28,292 --> 00:06:30,042 Give her a stroke. Perv. 116 00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,667 Want to do a toast? 117 00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:36,042 Uh, may the crop grow strong, and your pants stay up, and the night-- 118 00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:39,333 Don't worry, man, I got this shit. To turning around this shitty day. 119 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:43,000 - Ah, fuck. - Crud. 120 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Logan! 121 00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:47,125 What's up, dildos? 122 00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:49,333 - Can we please not do this tonight? - Relax. 123 00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:52,208 I know that we... come in here every weekend, 124 00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:55,083 we hold you down, and we fart in your faces 125 00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:56,792 for what you did to the football team. 126 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,750 But we have taken some time to reflect, and... 127 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,375 we decided to apologize. 128 00:07:05,042 --> 00:07:07,458 Wow. Really? 129 00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:09,917 No, we came to fart on your faces! 130 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,208 -Fuck you! Fuck you! -Pin him down! 131 00:07:11,292 --> 00:07:13,125 Fuck you! 132 00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:16,167 Come here. 133 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:17,875 - Accept your fate! - I will never fucking 134 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,542 accept this shit. Fuck! 135 00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:20,625 I'll save you the trouble. 136 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:21,958 -Right here okay? -That's perfect. Thanks. 137 00:07:23,917 --> 00:07:25,708 - Fucking fuck off. - You know the drill. 138 00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:27,792 - Ew! Ew! Ugh! - It's okay, Jack. 139 00:07:27,875 --> 00:07:30,000 -Think happy thoughts. -Shut up, Montgomery! 140 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,583 - Open wide, pookie. - No! 141 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:34,333 No! No! 142 00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:37,500 Oh, shit! 143 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,292 Hey, dumbass, mind if I borrow your charger? 144 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,625 Oh, I should warn you, it's actually a third-party charger, 145 00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:43,458 and it's technically against the terms of service to use it. 146 00:07:43,542 --> 00:07:44,542 Shut up. 147 00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:48,208 Dude, this pajama party tonight is gonna be so sick. 148 00:07:48,292 --> 00:07:49,583 -Pregame at my place? -Totally. 149 00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:50,750 -I got beer. -Nice! 150 00:07:50,833 --> 00:07:52,333 -I got some weed. -Swag. 151 00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:54,042 And I'm bringing Wizard's Oath. 152 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,417 What? 153 00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:01,208 It's a fantasy board game. 154 00:08:01,292 --> 00:08:02,417 It's actually really fun. 155 00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:07,208 That was refreshing, dawg. 156 00:08:07,292 --> 00:08:10,208 I feel, like, a pound lighter. 157 00:08:10,292 --> 00:08:11,292 Alright, let's bounce. 158 00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:13,458 Oh! What the fuck? 159 00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:16,125 Your charger fried my phone. 160 00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:18,417 Well, I did warn you it's a third-party charger. 161 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,917 You break my phone? Huh? How 'bout... 162 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,708 -Oh, shit. -...I break your bottle? 163 00:08:23,792 --> 00:08:26,292 Nooo! 164 00:08:28,417 --> 00:08:30,083 Look at his freak-ass face. 165 00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:32,458 -Losers. -Later, dickheads! 166 00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:36,542 Just give us a fucking break. 167 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,208 Lizzy! 168 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,250 - Fuck! - Ugh! Oh! 169 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:53,583 Fuck all those guys. 170 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,083 God, I hope I don't get pink eye again. 171 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,750 This whole night's fucking ruined. 172 00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:58,625 Well, maybe it's for the best. 173 00:08:58,708 --> 00:09:01,417 I was gonna start Lysander on a new brand of nectar tonight, 174 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,542 -and he gets temperamental-- -No! 175 00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:05,208 No! 176 00:09:05,292 --> 00:09:07,708 I can't stand another night listening to you talk 177 00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:10,583 about the dietary restrictions of your pet butterfly. 178 00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,792 We are in college, Monty. 179 00:09:12,875 --> 00:09:15,208 These are supposed to be the best years of our lives. 180 00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:16,500 Look at me. 181 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,000 I'm the type of guy who's built for a place like this, dude. 182 00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:20,833 I could be ruling the school. 183 00:09:20,917 --> 00:09:23,500 I should be doing Jell-O shots and sparkler keg stands, 184 00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:24,750 but everyone hates me. 185 00:09:24,833 --> 00:09:27,458 -Well, well, not me. -You don't count. 186 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:33,500 Okay, I know what you need. I'm ordering us a pizza. 187 00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:36,375 Because no matter how bad things are, 188 00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:39,000 pizza makes everything a little better. 189 00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:41,917 Remember first semester, 190 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,792 when we ate pizza and played games all night-- 191 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,792 Stop. What are you doing? You don't get to do a speech. 192 00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:47,542 I'm doing a speech. I'm sad. 193 00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:49,542 Plus, pizza's not gonna do anything for me, man. 194 00:09:49,625 --> 00:09:51,625 I need something to obliterate my brain! 195 00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:56,958 What's this? 196 00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:00,583 Mints? 197 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,708 Oh, my God. 198 00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:16,375 These are drugs. 199 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,792 No. No. 200 00:10:21,875 --> 00:10:22,958 -No! -Come on! 201 00:10:23,042 --> 00:10:24,667 -Are you insane? -What are the odds of this? 202 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:27,417 Well, I'm not doing random ceiling drugs. We don't even know what they are. 203 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,417 Fine. We'll do some research, hm? 204 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,292 "Drugs." "Pink pill." 205 00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,042 "Exploding head." 206 00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:39,958 "What the fuck?" 207 00:10:40,792 --> 00:10:43,542 -One result?! -That's shady. 208 00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:46,417 ♪ Om ♪ 209 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,833 Tidings, psychedelic adventurers! 210 00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:50,625 It's me, Frankie, of course. 211 00:10:50,708 --> 00:10:52,292 - ♪ Frankie ♪ - Of course! 212 00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:54,125 Her green screen sucks. 213 00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:58,083 I'll be your cosmic captain on this journey today. 214 00:10:58,167 --> 00:11:01,542 Please keep your vibes inside the vehicle at all times. 215 00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,583 -Skip ahead. -Yeah, I'ma skip ahead. 216 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,417 I dated Mickey Rourke. 217 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,208 -It was fine. -Keep-Keep going forward. 218 00:11:12,292 --> 00:11:13,917 Alright. 219 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,708 Presenting: Mind Igniting Neural Tuning Stimulants, 220 00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:18,833 or M.I.N.T.S. 221 00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:21,042 -That is dangerously misleading. -Whoo! 222 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:24,000 This drug will give you an incredible high. 223 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,542 -Ah! -How would I describe it? 224 00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:30,542 It makes you feel like you're floating on a cloud of lavender, 225 00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:33,542 being sung to by lollipop pixies. 226 00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:37,958 Dude, that's exactly your thing. 227 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,500 No. 228 00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:40,875 -Come on. Come on. -No. No. 229 00:11:40,958 --> 00:11:42,833 -Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. -No. No. No. No. 230 00:11:42,917 --> 00:11:44,042 -I love you. -N-- I love you, too. 231 00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:45,417 -Come on. Please? I'll do anything. -No. No. 232 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,000 -No! No! No! -Come on. Come on. Really? 233 00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:48,083 Jack, the answer's no! 234 00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:58,042 And now, we wait. 235 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,250 Drugs. 236 00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:06,792 Alcohol. Debauchery. 237 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:10,000 Every year, our school sinks deeper 238 00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:13,208 into a swamp of vice and buffoonery. 239 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:15,208 Until now. 240 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,833 Welcome, fellow RAs. 241 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:30,375 For weeks, we have been preparing for tonight. 242 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:35,292 To rain fiery vengeance upon the drug-addled delinquents 243 00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:39,583 that have turned this dorm into a waking nightmare. 244 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,375 - There will be no mercy. - Mm. 245 00:12:42,458 --> 00:12:46,042 Order will be restored. 246 00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:48,708 And those who have violated our rules 247 00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:52,208 shall be shattered on the anvil of discipline! 248 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,583 Are you with me?! 249 00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,375 Yes, Resident Advisor! 250 00:12:56,458 --> 00:12:58,042 Yes! Oh. 251 00:12:59,542 --> 00:13:03,000 Sorry, I'm new. I'm just out of sync. I'm new. 252 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,042 This guy didn't tell me about the call and response. 253 00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:07,250 I wouldn't. 254 00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:08,792 It was very scary. 255 00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:12,292 Let's move out. 256 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:16,042 And then I'm like, "Guys, don't worry, I'm not gonna fart in your faces." 257 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:18,792 And then I fucking farted in his face, dude! 258 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,458 Those guys fucking blow! 259 00:13:21,542 --> 00:13:23,583 Those guys fucking blow. 260 00:13:25,125 --> 00:13:28,208 Yeah, those guys fucking blow. 261 00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:29,875 They are funny, though. 262 00:13:31,042 --> 00:13:32,583 What? 263 00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,000 Did you just say they're funny? 264 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,500 No. 265 00:13:36,958 --> 00:13:38,167 Why would I say that? 266 00:13:39,417 --> 00:13:41,750 I-- Anyway. 267 00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:43,458 Let's get fucked up! 268 00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:46,208 Oh, my-- Lizzy-uh! 269 00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,583 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 270 00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:51,667 It's fine. 271 00:13:57,083 --> 00:14:00,208 -Oh, man, I'm tired. -Yeah, it's late. 272 00:14:00,292 --> 00:14:02,042 - I also am tired. - Me too. 273 00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:04,000 Maybe we should call it a night. 274 00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:06,500 Hey, Lizzy, you're closest to the door. 275 00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:10,000 Why don't you just leave first and the rest of us will follow? 276 00:14:12,375 --> 00:14:14,458 Okay, sure. Yeah. 277 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,417 See you around. 278 00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:21,125 Hey, remember when I said I wasn't gonna fart in their faces, 279 00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:24,333 -but then I did fart in their faces? -You know, I-I guess I'll just cancel 280 00:14:24,417 --> 00:14:26,125 this party bus that I got for us. 281 00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:27,583 -Hm? -Party bus? 282 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,958 I, uh, ordered us this totally awesome party bus as a surprise. 283 00:14:31,042 --> 00:14:33,042 But, but, but if you're tired, 284 00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,125 -then I'll just cancel it. -No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. 285 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,917 Do not cancel it. 286 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,500 I feel like I'm getting a second wind. 287 00:14:39,583 --> 00:14:41,958 -Yeah, me too. -I also am no longer tired. 288 00:14:42,042 --> 00:14:46,833 Can I get a, "Lizzy"? Lizzy. 289 00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:52,667 Lizzy. Lizzy. Lizzy! 290 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,875 Lizzy! Lizzy! 291 00:14:55,958 --> 00:15:01,125 Lizzy! You fucking rule, dude! You think I can honk the horn? 292 00:15:03,875 --> 00:15:06,375 ♪ Stack my chips, then I pop my collar ♪ 293 00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:08,750 ♪ Learn from the best, I lead, they follow ♪ 294 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:11,333 ♪ I'm getting money, can't talk, I'll holla ♪ 295 00:15:11,417 --> 00:15:13,292 ♪ That's the sound of the money ♪ 296 00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:15,583 ♪ Jackpot, there's more that's coming ♪ 297 00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:17,917 ♪ Couple commas, couple zeros ♪ 298 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,083 ♪ Time to get to the money, let's go ♪ 299 00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:26,708 -You feel anything? -No. 300 00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:29,042 Wait. 301 00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:32,458 No. 302 00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:34,792 Fuck. Are these duds? 303 00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:37,625 Guess so. Wanna play Wizard's Oath? 304 00:15:37,708 --> 00:15:39,500 No, we can't. We need three people. 305 00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:40,708 I could play. 306 00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:42,792 No, it'd take too long to teach you the rules. 307 00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:48,708 Oh no. 308 00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:53,583 Somebody help! 309 00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:56,708 Are you ready, kids? 310 00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:59,667 - Yeah! - Here we go! 311 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,333 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 312 00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:03,125 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 313 00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:04,958 -♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ -Why are our hands singing? 314 00:16:05,042 --> 00:16:06,667 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 315 00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:09,625 Oh. 316 00:16:10,958 --> 00:16:11,958 Hey. 317 00:16:12,042 --> 00:16:13,792 You seeing this? 318 00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:15,458 -Ooh, he's moving. -Um, he's coming towards us. 319 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:16,750 He's getting real close. Oof! 320 00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:19,833 -He wants me to shake his hand. -Just go for it, yeah. 321 00:16:19,917 --> 00:16:21,000 Oh! Oh! 322 00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,708 -He touched my nipple! -Hey, what the fuck, man? 323 00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:23,917 Eh-stop! 324 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,833 Hola. My name is Juan. 325 00:16:26,917 --> 00:16:28,125 -Nice to meet you. -Hi. 326 00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:30,250 Is that a fucking baby? 327 00:16:30,333 --> 00:16:32,125 The bebé does not like your work. 328 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,417 Do it again. 329 00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:37,333 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 330 00:16:37,417 --> 00:16:39,167 This again?! 331 00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,000 Fuck. No. 332 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,333 -Please stay over there. -No. Back up. 333 00:16:44,042 --> 00:16:45,667 -Don't do it. -I don't wanna be impolite. 334 00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,583 -What? Monty-- -Oh, he did it again. 335 00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,542 - What did you expect? - Stop! 336 00:16:49,625 --> 00:16:51,833 She hates it. Do it again. 337 00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:54,125 ♪ Happy, happy, nice, nice ♪ 338 00:16:54,208 --> 00:16:55,208 Hey! 339 00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:57,625 No, not again! He's a demon. 340 00:16:57,708 --> 00:16:59,167 Again. 341 00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,250 I'm in hell! 342 00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,625 He's gone. 343 00:17:02,708 --> 00:17:04,250 -♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ -Again. 344 00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:06,625 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice, everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 345 00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:07,958 Again. 346 00:17:08,042 --> 00:17:09,708 I don't want this anymore! 347 00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:11,375 Fuck you, baby! 348 00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:12,875 Again! 349 00:17:12,958 --> 00:17:15,417 ♪ No one's gonna die today, someone's gonna die today ♪ 350 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,292 ♪ We're all gonna die today ♪ 351 00:17:17,375 --> 00:17:19,083 She likes it. 352 00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:21,083 The baby likes it! 353 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:29,917 Why are we in the fucking show--?! 354 00:17:34,292 --> 00:17:36,042 Well, the good news is the drugs work. 355 00:17:36,125 --> 00:17:37,333 Oh, do they?! 356 00:17:37,417 --> 00:17:39,875 None of that felt like a gentle cloud of lavender! 357 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:42,167 I just got molested by Pinocchio's cousin! 358 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,417 Did that happen? I think I already repressed that. 359 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,917 Alright, we gotta figure out what this stuff is. 360 00:17:48,708 --> 00:17:51,042 Lysander, no, get out of there! Crate! 361 00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:52,750 No drugs for you. 362 00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:57,875 You feel like you're floating 363 00:17:57,958 --> 00:18:00,083 on a cloud of lavender, 364 00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:03,625 being sung to by lollipop pixies. 365 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,083 So long as you take it with food. 366 00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:07,417 -What? -Without food, 367 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,958 the drug has six distinct phases, 368 00:18:10,042 --> 00:18:13,000 punctuated by normal periods of lucidity. 369 00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:15,833 First is a prologue called Make The Baby Like It. 370 00:18:15,917 --> 00:18:17,042 Definitely did that one. 371 00:18:17,125 --> 00:18:19,208 Then, No Bad Words. 372 00:18:19,292 --> 00:18:20,458 Flashbacks. 373 00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:22,583 The Ol' Switcheroo. 374 00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,667 Nothing But The Truth. 375 00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:26,458 And We Are All One. 376 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:30,917 What's that? 377 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,250 It's my WorryWart. It calms me down. 378 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,833 Gotta say, I'm pretty dang proud of myself for making these drugs. 379 00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:37,292 - Huh? - I made them right here 380 00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:39,000 in my dorm room, 3J. 381 00:18:39,958 --> 00:18:41,500 Oh, shit. Sorry. 382 00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:43,917 Wait. Is that this room? 383 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,417 I know I'm still in college, but don't worry. 384 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,083 I'm a chemistry genius, okay? 385 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:49,708 -Well, that's good. -I mean, hell, 386 00:18:49,792 --> 00:18:53,667 I friggin' built these cabinets using my own homemade epoxy. 387 00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:58,292 We're gonna die. 388 00:18:58,375 --> 00:19:00,875 A few important things before I forget. 389 00:19:00,958 --> 00:19:04,208 One, do not take more than a single dose. 390 00:19:04,292 --> 00:19:08,625 If you do, you will see the true, horrible nature of reality. 391 00:19:08,708 --> 00:19:12,417 -What does that mean? -And two, there is a final phase 392 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,333 that I didn't yet mention. 393 00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:18,250 It's called Your Worst Nightmare Comes to Life 394 00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:21,458 and Shoves a Chainsaw Up Your Ass. 395 00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:23,083 Wh-- What? 396 00:19:23,167 --> 00:19:25,750 My boyfriend, Garrett, went through it, and look what happened to him. 397 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,542 Anyway, if you don't want that 398 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,458 to happen to you, eat some food. 399 00:19:31,708 --> 00:19:34,458 And by food, I mean specifically a mixture 400 00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:37,458 of wheat, nightshades, and dairy. 401 00:19:37,542 --> 00:19:39,208 So, pizza? 402 00:19:39,292 --> 00:19:40,708 Yeah, it's pizza, dum-dums. 403 00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:42,208 Happy sailing! 404 00:19:42,292 --> 00:19:44,333 Hope you don't get chainsaw-fucked. 405 00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:51,458 Your Worst Nightmare Comes to Life and Shoves a Chainsaw Up Your Ass! 406 00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:53,333 -Okay. -Cheese and rice! 407 00:19:53,417 --> 00:19:56,292 I just wanted a quiet night, and now I'm gonna get chainsaw-fucked 408 00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:58,667 -by the Rat King from The Nutcracker! -Chill, dude. That's not gonna-- 409 00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:01,375 Uh, wait, your worst nightmare is the Rat King from The Nut-- 410 00:20:01,458 --> 00:20:05,042 From the New Jersey Ballet's 2007 production of The Nutcracker. 411 00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:07,458 You haven't seen it. It's terrifying. 412 00:20:07,542 --> 00:20:10,375 It's not gonna happen, okay? What did she say? 413 00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:12,167 It'll mellow out when we have some pizza. 414 00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:15,250 And look, there it is right now. 415 00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:18,208 Hello, sir. Can you please bring the pizza 416 00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:21,500 directly to room 3J, with extreme haste? 417 00:20:22,708 --> 00:20:24,333 Hello. 418 00:20:24,417 --> 00:20:27,083 I am Snackatron 3000. 419 00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:30,375 I have arrived at your location with a food delivery 420 00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:34,125 for Montgomery from the restaurant... 421 00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:36,667 What do I say, the name of the pizza place? 422 00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:40,917 -Okay, it's Joe's Piz-- -It's a fucking robot. 423 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,708 Actually, I'm a Snackatron. 424 00:20:42,792 --> 00:20:47,208 3J! Bring the pizza to 3J, now. 425 00:20:47,292 --> 00:20:50,083 I am sorry, but there is a set of stairs 426 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:51,500 impeding my journey. 427 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,458 Stairs are my mortal enemy. 428 00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:56,125 To receive your pizza from... 429 00:20:56,208 --> 00:20:59,708 I gotta record this again? Joe's Pi-- 430 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:04,208 I'm afraid you will need to meet me in the lobby. 431 00:21:08,792 --> 00:21:10,667 I hope you will be satisfied with your order. 432 00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:13,125 No, Snackatron, I will not be satisfied, no. 433 00:21:13,208 --> 00:21:14,750 There's no way we're going out there. 434 00:21:14,833 --> 00:21:16,792 Ashley's out there, RAs, and who knows what else. 435 00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:19,958 Hey, it's gonna be fine, dude. It's just two flights of stairs. 436 00:21:20,042 --> 00:21:21,500 Right? 437 00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:23,625 Come on, I'm gonna be with you the whole time. 438 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,750 Yeah, w-- Yeah. 439 00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:29,417 ♪ Watch how I walk ♪ 440 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,250 ♪ You wanna chat to me, watch how you talk ♪ 441 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,292 ♪ Leave my legacy, leave my mark ♪ 442 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,917 ♪ On top, best help, I'm the boss ♪ 443 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:39,042 ♪ Boss, boss, boss, boss, bo-bo-b-b-b-b ♪ 444 00:21:42,125 --> 00:21:43,875 Why are you wearing a suit? 445 00:21:43,958 --> 00:21:45,583 I don't want people to know I'm high. 446 00:21:47,042 --> 00:21:49,042 -Smart. -So, what's our plan? 447 00:21:49,125 --> 00:21:50,958 Okay, it's simple. 448 00:21:51,042 --> 00:21:54,000 We take the elevator down, we grab the pizza, we eat it, 449 00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:56,167 and then, we're floating on a cloud of lavender 450 00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:58,417 before the next phase even hits. 451 00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:00,125 -You ready? -Yes. 452 00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:03,292 -I don't know. Okay, yes. -Great. 453 00:22:04,542 --> 00:22:06,375 Then let's do this fucking-- 454 00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:13,875 - Oh! Oh! - What? What? 455 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:16,000 Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh! Are you okay? 456 00:22:16,083 --> 00:22:17,208 Yeah, I think, I think, I think. 457 00:22:17,292 --> 00:22:18,500 What the fuck-- 458 00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:27,750 Why are our heads exploding? What in the absolute hell? 459 00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:31,583 Fuck! 460 00:22:33,167 --> 00:22:37,750 Okay! Okay! Just don't do anything! 461 00:22:37,833 --> 00:22:39,042 I'm not doing anything. 462 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:41,750 I think our heads explode if we say curse words? 463 00:22:44,083 --> 00:22:46,083 Goddammit. 464 00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:47,375 No! 465 00:22:47,458 --> 00:22:49,208 Fine. Okay. 466 00:22:49,292 --> 00:22:51,000 I'll just say, like, dang it. 467 00:22:51,083 --> 00:22:53,083 Darn it? 468 00:22:53,167 --> 00:22:56,125 Alright! I'll make up my own. 469 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:58,583 Cremble sauce. 470 00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,500 We can't say cremble sauce? 471 00:23:00,583 --> 00:23:02,375 Okay. 472 00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:06,333 Just stay super G-rated. And let's get to the elevator. 473 00:23:06,417 --> 00:23:10,208 Hey, it's freak-ass face. 474 00:23:10,292 --> 00:23:12,375 Hey, suck my dick. 475 00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:16,000 Hey, it's freak-ass face. 476 00:23:16,083 --> 00:23:18,042 Hey, suck my dick. 477 00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:20,625 Alright, it's out of my system. 478 00:23:20,708 --> 00:23:22,542 - Hey. - Hey-- 479 00:23:26,583 --> 00:23:28,208 Almost there. 480 00:23:28,292 --> 00:23:30,292 - And we're here. - Montgomery! 481 00:23:31,125 --> 00:23:32,750 -Hey. -Holy crap. 482 00:23:33,833 --> 00:23:35,250 You got this, man. 483 00:23:35,333 --> 00:23:38,417 I'm a provider, I'm suave, I'm an alpha, woo-hoo! 484 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,375 Montgomery! Hi. 485 00:23:40,458 --> 00:23:42,250 Wassup, playa? 486 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:44,042 Shit. 487 00:23:44,125 --> 00:23:45,833 -Hi. -Ahoy there. 488 00:23:45,917 --> 00:23:46,958 Nope. Queef. 489 00:23:47,792 --> 00:23:49,542 -Hi. -Happy evening to you, 490 00:23:49,625 --> 00:23:51,583 my sweet baby, baby, baby. 491 00:23:51,667 --> 00:23:52,667 Fuck that. 492 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:56,375 I'ma pitch you a line. "Hi, Ashley." 493 00:23:56,458 --> 00:23:57,792 -Hi, Ashley. -Just like that. 494 00:23:57,875 --> 00:23:59,000 Hi, Ashley. 495 00:23:59,083 --> 00:24:00,500 -Hi. -Hey, I did it. 496 00:24:00,583 --> 00:24:03,000 Well, don't say it out loud, dumbass. 497 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:05,500 -Hi. -Hi, Ashley. 498 00:24:07,333 --> 00:24:08,917 What's that? 499 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,208 It's my WorryWart, which alphas don't use, 500 00:24:11,292 --> 00:24:13,125 -so we gotta start this whole thing over. -No, it's cute, it's cute, it's fine. 501 00:24:13,208 --> 00:24:14,375 Cunt. 502 00:24:14,458 --> 00:24:15,917 Excuse me? 503 00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:19,042 - Cunt. - What? 504 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:21,042 -Not you. Cunt? -Cunt! 505 00:24:21,125 --> 00:24:22,375 -Sorry. -Sorry. Cunt! 506 00:24:22,458 --> 00:24:24,167 -Sorry. Cunt, sorry. -Cunt. Sorry. 507 00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:25,333 -Sorry. Cunt. -Cunt. 508 00:24:25,417 --> 00:24:27,375 -Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. -Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. 509 00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:28,667 -Cunt. -Stop! 510 00:24:28,750 --> 00:24:30,958 We can say "cunt," but we can't say "cremble sauce"? 511 00:24:32,208 --> 00:24:35,458 I sourced the chemicals from Manchester, England. 512 00:24:35,542 --> 00:24:36,958 Oh, it's a British drug. 513 00:24:37,042 --> 00:24:39,208 That's so fucking stupid. 514 00:24:39,292 --> 00:24:40,583 -Hi. -Hi, Ashley. 515 00:24:40,667 --> 00:24:42,042 How's your night going? Grood? 516 00:24:42,125 --> 00:24:43,583 "Grood"? Shart. 517 00:24:43,667 --> 00:24:44,792 -Hi. -Hi, Ashley. 518 00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:46,708 How's your night going? Good? 519 00:24:46,792 --> 00:24:50,333 Yeah, I've actually had a crazy week working on my music thesis, so. 520 00:24:50,417 --> 00:24:52,042 -Oh, so you're a music major? -Yeah. 521 00:24:52,125 --> 00:24:54,333 -Who's your favorite musician? -Sondheim. 522 00:24:54,417 --> 00:24:57,083 Sondheim? I love musicals. 523 00:24:57,167 --> 00:24:59,167 Oh, Stephen Sondheim? I hate him. 524 00:24:59,250 --> 00:25:01,292 I like Matsuishi Sondheim. 525 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,083 Who the fuck is that? 526 00:25:04,167 --> 00:25:08,583 Okay, apparently, this guy does something called Clowncore Vomit Opera. 527 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,083 Have you ever heard of Matsuishi Sondheim? 528 00:25:14,167 --> 00:25:16,167 Oh, my God. Are-Are you serious? I love him. 529 00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,417 Have you ever heard of the song that goes... 530 00:25:27,917 --> 00:25:29,917 Duh! "My Mother Pisses Death"? 531 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,667 Nobody ever likes that one. 532 00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:33,167 And most guys are real pussies about it, 533 00:25:33,250 --> 00:25:36,333 but it's so cool to meet someone that's actually into it. 534 00:25:36,417 --> 00:25:37,750 Mm-hm. 535 00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:40,875 -Well, this has been nice. -Yeah. 536 00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:44,000 I hope the rest of your night is real "grood." 537 00:25:44,083 --> 00:25:46,083 Oh, duckfucker! Ah! 538 00:25:46,833 --> 00:25:48,750 Uh, "duckfucker"? 539 00:25:49,917 --> 00:25:52,333 Oh, no. Is it over? 540 00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:53,875 Is what over? 541 00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:57,250 -The American dream. -Oh. 542 00:25:58,292 --> 00:26:00,292 -Yes. -Yep. 543 00:26:00,375 --> 00:26:03,292 Anyway, I am starving, so I'm gonna go get some food. 544 00:26:03,375 --> 00:26:05,583 But it was great getting to know you. 545 00:26:05,667 --> 00:26:06,667 I'll see ya. 546 00:26:09,583 --> 00:26:12,000 My friggin' boy. Uh... 547 00:26:12,083 --> 00:26:13,500 Just so you know, 548 00:26:13,583 --> 00:26:15,708 I got a weird fucking vibe about her. 549 00:26:30,042 --> 00:26:32,167 Room check. 550 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,208 Come in! 551 00:26:51,958 --> 00:26:53,458 Sorry to interrupt. 552 00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:07,667 -May I? -Please, yeah. 553 00:27:09,708 --> 00:27:13,417 This stuff's so annoying. 554 00:27:14,375 --> 00:27:16,458 Okay. Prohibited items. 555 00:27:16,542 --> 00:27:20,417 -Do you guys have any drugs, alcohol? -No. 556 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:23,000 -Uh, firearms, weaponry? -No. 557 00:27:23,083 --> 00:27:24,833 Freestanding waffle makers? 558 00:27:24,917 --> 00:27:26,833 -No. -Hm. 559 00:27:27,458 --> 00:27:28,458 Any... 560 00:27:30,167 --> 00:27:34,750 large bongs... shaped like a jar of dill pickles? 561 00:27:37,333 --> 00:27:38,333 No. 562 00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:43,458 Great! I will leave you to it. 563 00:27:46,417 --> 00:27:47,458 Ooh. 564 00:27:57,958 --> 00:27:59,167 You know... 565 00:28:03,167 --> 00:28:06,292 some kids lie. 566 00:28:06,875 --> 00:28:09,625 They think I won't notice, but... 567 00:28:11,750 --> 00:28:13,375 lies have a smell. 568 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:16,708 A texture. 569 00:28:18,750 --> 00:28:20,958 It clings to their clothes. 570 00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:24,125 Like smoke. 571 00:28:31,375 --> 00:28:34,125 You're hiding a pickle bong and some alcoholic iced tea, are you not? 572 00:28:37,167 --> 00:28:38,167 Yes. 573 00:28:39,083 --> 00:28:41,083 You're hiding them in the fridge, aren't you? 574 00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:44,750 Yes. 575 00:28:48,167 --> 00:28:49,667 Deli drawer or crisper? 576 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,208 Crisper. 577 00:28:58,333 --> 00:29:01,333 Well, that's a violation. 578 00:29:04,542 --> 00:29:08,542 I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate your phone for the night. 579 00:29:08,625 --> 00:29:10,250 Wait, no, you can't confiscate my phone. 580 00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:13,458 I said, "Confiscate his phone!" 581 00:29:17,208 --> 00:29:20,375 What will become of me?! 582 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,000 Each of you has a list. 583 00:29:30,083 --> 00:29:32,500 You are to collect the cell phones of everyone on it. 584 00:29:33,417 --> 00:29:36,917 Use whatever justification you need. Understood? 585 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,000 Yes, Resident Advisor, sir! 586 00:29:40,542 --> 00:29:42,542 Hell, did someone break this? 587 00:29:42,625 --> 00:29:44,833 Come on, why is it taking so long? 588 00:29:44,917 --> 00:29:47,500 Fuck. 589 00:29:47,583 --> 00:29:50,542 - Jeez. - Oh, God, this guy. 590 00:29:50,625 --> 00:29:51,958 What happened? 591 00:29:52,042 --> 00:29:53,833 He got transferred to Gralk Hall. 592 00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:55,667 -No. -Yeah. 593 00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:59,000 The worst dorm in school. 594 00:29:59,083 --> 00:30:02,208 It's four hours away. 595 00:30:02,292 --> 00:30:04,250 He might as well be dead. 596 00:30:06,458 --> 00:30:08,000 That was his fuck buddy. 597 00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:11,708 -Sorry for your loss. -Go fuck yourself, Jack. 598 00:30:12,542 --> 00:30:15,042 We gotta get our housing requests in. 599 00:30:17,417 --> 00:30:19,417 Oh, thank God. It got stuck between floors. 600 00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:20,875 Can you guys please get me out of here? 601 00:30:22,208 --> 00:30:24,625 -Stairs? -Wait. Wait, no! 602 00:30:24,708 --> 00:30:26,958 You can't just leave me like this! No, I'm gonna go insane! 603 00:30:27,042 --> 00:30:30,000 -Please, come back! -Alright, just two floors and we're good. 604 00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:33,250 No! Somebody help! Somebody help me! 605 00:30:33,333 --> 00:30:34,708 Oh, no! 606 00:30:34,792 --> 00:30:36,208 -Where are you taking me? -Shit. 607 00:30:36,292 --> 00:30:38,208 -RAs. -They took my phone! 608 00:30:38,292 --> 00:30:40,917 -They took my phone! -They took his phone. 609 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,917 - What will become of me?! - Are they allowed to do that? 610 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,750 What will become of us? No! 611 00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:46,208 Take him to the Wellness Lounge. 612 00:30:46,292 --> 00:30:49,708 Yeah, alright, guys, let's get him to the Wellness Lounge. 613 00:30:49,792 --> 00:30:53,292 I love it. I agree. It's a good plan. 614 00:30:53,375 --> 00:30:56,208 - Who are you again? - Oh! I'm Sidney Putt. 615 00:30:56,292 --> 00:30:57,792 Sophomore RA in training. 616 00:30:57,875 --> 00:30:59,500 -You're a sophomore? -Yeah. 617 00:30:59,583 --> 00:31:01,542 But I am 31 years young. 618 00:31:01,625 --> 00:31:04,708 I took a bit of a gap decade before I started school. 619 00:31:04,792 --> 00:31:07,083 -Wow. -But, now I'm so excited to be an RA. 620 00:31:07,167 --> 00:31:09,125 -Uh-huh. -I'd love to know the inside jokes. 621 00:31:09,208 --> 00:31:11,750 -Mm. -Who's ribbing who? Who's kissing who? 622 00:31:11,833 --> 00:31:13,667 You ever huff helium? 623 00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:15,333 Shut the fuck up! 624 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:20,958 You two stay, and don't let anyone downstairs. 625 00:31:21,042 --> 00:31:22,042 -Fuck us. -Crud. 626 00:31:23,042 --> 00:31:24,333 Now how do we get downstairs? 627 00:31:25,917 --> 00:31:27,125 Building renovations. 628 00:31:27,208 --> 00:31:29,208 They're scaffolding outside the corner room. 629 00:31:29,292 --> 00:31:31,750 We could just climb down to the second floor from there, huh? 630 00:31:31,833 --> 00:31:34,625 We got this. 631 00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:37,458 Hi, we were wondering if we could use your window. 632 00:31:37,542 --> 00:31:38,958 You. 633 00:31:39,042 --> 00:31:40,625 Oh, hey, it's you. 634 00:31:40,708 --> 00:31:42,375 Fuck off! 635 00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:43,875 What the hell was that about? 636 00:31:43,958 --> 00:31:46,667 Earlier today, I accidentally hit him with a football. 637 00:31:46,750 --> 00:31:47,958 Great, so we're stuck. 638 00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:50,000 Hey, Logan. Uh, sorry, just call me back. 639 00:31:50,083 --> 00:31:51,708 I can't find you guys, so. 640 00:31:54,083 --> 00:31:56,083 -Hi. -Hi, Lizzy. 641 00:31:56,167 --> 00:31:57,333 Hi. 642 00:31:57,417 --> 00:32:00,208 -Why are you wet? -Uh, I just, um, 643 00:32:00,292 --> 00:32:03,417 I'm having kind of a weird night, uh, but I'm fine. 644 00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:05,750 Dandy. Bye. 645 00:32:06,708 --> 00:32:08,708 Bye... Asshole. 646 00:32:08,792 --> 00:32:10,000 No! 647 00:32:11,083 --> 00:32:14,083 Oh! Oh! Oh! 648 00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:17,292 -Your head's been exploding! -You're on our drug! 649 00:32:17,375 --> 00:32:19,042 What? What? 650 00:32:19,125 --> 00:32:20,792 What are you talking about? 651 00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:22,625 But I didn't take any drugs! 652 00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:24,375 You are so fucked. 653 00:32:26,042 --> 00:32:29,167 -Stop laughing. -I don't know why I'm laughing. 654 00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:31,750 I think it's a trauma response. 655 00:32:31,833 --> 00:32:34,167 But I didn't take any... 656 00:32:34,250 --> 00:32:36,750 Oh, my God. This all makes sense now. 657 00:32:36,833 --> 00:32:39,625 Earlier tonight, when I was in your room... 658 00:32:40,417 --> 00:32:42,500 Logan was talking about the pajama party, 659 00:32:42,583 --> 00:32:44,417 and I spotted a tin of mints on your desk. 660 00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:45,708 Those weren't mints, dumbass. 661 00:32:45,792 --> 00:32:48,958 - Lizzy, those were not mints. - No shit, I'm aware. 662 00:32:49,042 --> 00:32:52,000 Because I ate one, and just a little later... 663 00:32:52,083 --> 00:32:56,583 Why are my hands singing?! 664 00:32:56,667 --> 00:32:58,333 ...I started tripping my goddamn balls off 665 00:32:58,417 --> 00:33:00,083 in front of Logan and all of his friends. 666 00:33:03,375 --> 00:33:05,667 Wait, how are we even seeing this? 667 00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:08,625 Are we, like, inside her memory? 668 00:33:08,708 --> 00:33:11,417 Shit, think I remember this from the video. 669 00:33:12,375 --> 00:33:14,292 This must be the next phase. 670 00:33:14,375 --> 00:33:15,917 There's more of these? 671 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,042 There is a final phase that I didn't yet mention. 672 00:33:19,125 --> 00:33:22,583 It's called Your Worst Nightmare Comes to Life 673 00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:25,500 and Shoves a Chainsaw Up Your Ass. 674 00:33:25,583 --> 00:33:27,333 Your Worst Nightmare Comes to Life 675 00:33:27,417 --> 00:33:29,375 and Shoves a Chainsaw Up Your Ass? 676 00:33:29,458 --> 00:33:31,792 See? I do sound like a little old man. 677 00:33:31,875 --> 00:33:33,208 You dumb fucks! 678 00:33:33,292 --> 00:33:35,375 Who just leaves drugs out for anyone to take? 679 00:33:35,458 --> 00:33:37,458 Who eats random pills out of a tin? 680 00:33:38,125 --> 00:33:39,958 I've never done anything that stupid in my life. 681 00:33:40,042 --> 00:33:43,542 -You ready, Montgomery? -What's the plan here, Jack? 682 00:33:43,625 --> 00:33:45,625 We leap off the roof and float to the ground 683 00:33:45,708 --> 00:33:48,208 like a pair of graceful falcons. 684 00:33:48,292 --> 00:33:49,708 You were saying? 685 00:33:49,792 --> 00:33:51,875 Alright, so I've done one dumb thing. 686 00:33:51,958 --> 00:33:53,500 But at least we had fun. 687 00:33:55,125 --> 00:33:57,625 This is, like, the worst day of my life. 688 00:33:57,708 --> 00:34:00,083 I'm Lizzy the Magnificent. 689 00:34:00,167 --> 00:34:02,125 -Oh, my God. -Oh, my God. 690 00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:04,417 Everyone, look closely. 691 00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:07,167 Now, it's a banana, and now... 692 00:34:07,917 --> 00:34:10,000 it's a chicken. 693 00:34:10,083 --> 00:34:12,583 You're incredible! 694 00:34:12,667 --> 00:34:14,292 Were you using wires or mirrors back here? 695 00:34:14,375 --> 00:34:16,667 - Now, could I have a volunteer? - Mm! 696 00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:18,500 This is so lame. 697 00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:30,542 Jesus Christ. Children are fucking sociopaths. 698 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,417 I didn't know you did magic. You should have told me you did magic. 699 00:34:42,500 --> 00:34:44,917 I would have loved to have seen some tricks. 700 00:34:45,958 --> 00:34:48,375 You know, back when we were friends. 701 00:34:49,958 --> 00:34:53,042 I miss those Wednesdays. We'd all meet in the cafeteria 702 00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:54,208 -and play Wizard's Oath. -Yes! Yes! 703 00:34:54,292 --> 00:34:56,333 - Okay, alright... - It was so fun. 704 00:34:56,417 --> 00:34:58,458 'Member how far we got? We were about to storm 705 00:34:58,542 --> 00:35:02,208 the Fortress of Thalamir and finally finish the game. 706 00:35:02,292 --> 00:35:05,250 But then, Lizzy ditched us. 707 00:35:05,333 --> 00:35:06,500 That's fucking good, dawg. 708 00:35:06,583 --> 00:35:09,125 I'll tell them I'm not gonna fart in their faces, 709 00:35:09,208 --> 00:35:11,458 but then I totally will do that! 710 00:35:11,542 --> 00:35:14,083 Hang on. I never ditched you guys. 711 00:35:14,167 --> 00:35:15,792 Don't say I ditched you. 712 00:35:15,875 --> 00:35:17,208 Lizzy! 713 00:35:17,292 --> 00:35:20,208 Also, you're leaving out the part where you sabotaged the whole football team. 714 00:35:20,292 --> 00:35:22,583 Oh, come on! That was an accident! 715 00:35:22,667 --> 00:35:24,208 -Yeah, right. -What the fuck? 716 00:35:24,292 --> 00:35:26,167 Wait. I can prove it. 717 00:35:26,250 --> 00:35:29,667 It was first semester. I was king of the campus. 718 00:35:29,750 --> 00:35:33,708 A.K.A., I was the school mascot. 719 00:35:33,792 --> 00:35:36,125 So, per tradition, I held the honor 720 00:35:36,208 --> 00:35:39,833 of leading the football team in their annual naked run. 721 00:35:39,917 --> 00:35:41,542 Gentlemen! 722 00:35:42,833 --> 00:35:45,833 Cheeks out! 723 00:35:46,708 --> 00:35:49,917 Have fun out there. Just remember, stick to the path. 724 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,583 But I had bigger plans than the path. 725 00:35:52,667 --> 00:35:54,708 Let's go! Paper it on three, baby, one, two, three! 726 00:36:00,708 --> 00:36:03,042 Everyone hated Professor Quinn, 727 00:36:03,125 --> 00:36:07,667 so I figured they'd love me if I made him spend his entire day 728 00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:10,500 getting followed by 50 naked dicks. 729 00:36:10,583 --> 00:36:14,208 It was a flawless plan, until the stupid professor 730 00:36:14,292 --> 00:36:18,125 went off campus and ran directly by... 731 00:36:18,208 --> 00:36:20,333 ...a police station during... 732 00:36:20,417 --> 00:36:23,042 Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. 733 00:36:26,750 --> 00:36:30,042 Every single player got put on the sex offender registry. 734 00:36:31,208 --> 00:36:32,417 That was that. 735 00:36:32,500 --> 00:36:35,000 I was doing so well. 736 00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:37,583 I was making friends, I was having fun. 737 00:36:37,667 --> 00:36:39,375 For once in my life, people actually liked me. 738 00:36:39,458 --> 00:36:43,125 And then, poof, overnight, for no reason, they all just turned on me. 739 00:36:43,208 --> 00:36:45,292 -Again, not me. -Again, you don't count. 740 00:36:45,375 --> 00:36:48,292 No, but what do you mean "for no reason"? I-I mean, you broke the rules. 741 00:36:48,375 --> 00:36:50,292 You, you were reckless with the football team's dicks. 742 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:52,833 I wasn't even think-- I wasn't thinking about the dicks. 743 00:36:52,917 --> 00:36:53,917 Well, that's my point. 744 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,417 Maybe you should have been thinking about their dicks. 745 00:36:55,500 --> 00:36:57,250 Why are we even talking about dicks? 746 00:36:57,333 --> 00:36:59,375 I am the victim here. Tell her, Montgomery. 747 00:36:59,458 --> 00:37:01,208 I mean, maybe you could stand to think 748 00:37:01,292 --> 00:37:03,708 a little bit more about other people's dicks. 749 00:37:04,625 --> 00:37:07,208 - Excuse me! Sorry! Whoo! - You guys don't fucking get it. 750 00:37:07,292 --> 00:37:08,542 My yogurt! 751 00:37:10,042 --> 00:37:11,250 Wait. Wait! Oh! 752 00:37:11,333 --> 00:37:12,542 Whoo! 753 00:37:14,625 --> 00:37:16,833 -Hi. -Dude, you saved my ass! 754 00:37:16,917 --> 00:37:18,917 You're welcome. 755 00:37:22,583 --> 00:37:25,667 What just happened? Did I just interact with a memory? 756 00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:28,500 Montgomery, my man! 757 00:37:28,583 --> 00:37:30,083 This guy saved my ass earlier. 758 00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:33,500 Nice. Can we use your window? 759 00:37:33,583 --> 00:37:35,417 Of course, yeah. Come on in. 760 00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:37,292 Oh, let me go grab your thing real quick. 761 00:37:37,375 --> 00:37:39,375 What? Did we change the past? 762 00:37:39,458 --> 00:37:41,083 How is that even scientifically possible? 763 00:37:41,167 --> 00:37:42,708 I don't know. You wanna disprove quantum theory 764 00:37:42,792 --> 00:37:44,208 or get a pizza? Come on. 765 00:37:45,083 --> 00:37:47,917 Wait, wait. Uh, wh-wh-where are you guys going? 766 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,792 -Nowhere. Eat shit. -We're climbing down the scaffolding to... 767 00:37:49,875 --> 00:37:51,417 -Don't tell her. -...get downstairs to get a pizza 'cause 768 00:37:51,500 --> 00:37:53,042 -that's the only way the drugs stop. -Montgomery. Goddammit! 769 00:37:53,125 --> 00:37:54,417 Okay, great, let's go. 770 00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:57,208 'Scuse me? You are not coming with us. 771 00:37:57,292 --> 00:37:59,667 You and Logan, fucking fart Hitler, 772 00:37:59,750 --> 00:38:01,667 just used us as literal toilet paper. 773 00:38:01,750 --> 00:38:03,125 Well, I didn't. I just-- 774 00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:04,833 Stood by and watched like a good German? 775 00:38:04,917 --> 00:38:06,458 Honestly, that might be worse. Right, Montgomery? 776 00:38:06,542 --> 00:38:08,417 I'd actually love if we use a different metaphor. 777 00:38:08,500 --> 00:38:10,167 You guys can't just leave me here, okay? 778 00:38:10,250 --> 00:38:12,708 Without my credit card, my friends can't use the party bus. 779 00:38:12,792 --> 00:38:14,542 Oh, no! You mean to tell me that Logan 780 00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:16,625 may have a slightly less fun night? 781 00:38:16,708 --> 00:38:17,875 Tough titty. Let's go. 782 00:38:17,958 --> 00:38:20,958 Okay. Listen up, assholes. 783 00:38:21,042 --> 00:38:22,792 If you guys don't let me come with you, 784 00:38:22,875 --> 00:38:25,708 I'm gonna make sure Logan sharts on you next time. 785 00:38:25,792 --> 00:38:28,208 Not fart. Shart. 786 00:38:28,292 --> 00:38:31,250 To get that stain out, you won't just need soap, 787 00:38:31,333 --> 00:38:32,958 you'll need therapy. 788 00:38:33,042 --> 00:38:35,792 Okay, guys, come on. We need to work together. 789 00:38:36,542 --> 00:38:37,542 Now, what do you say? 790 00:38:38,542 --> 00:38:40,292 -Fuck no. -You want to hold hands? 791 00:38:40,375 --> 00:38:44,667 Yeah. It boosts endorphins and supports cooperative thinking. 792 00:38:44,750 --> 00:38:46,083 Here's this back. 793 00:38:46,167 --> 00:38:48,000 This shit is wild. 794 00:38:48,083 --> 00:38:49,750 Wait, how did you get-- 795 00:38:49,833 --> 00:38:52,250 Hope you don't mind I took one. Those five phases were so fun. 796 00:38:52,333 --> 00:38:54,208 Oh, you mean six phases? 797 00:38:54,292 --> 00:38:56,750 Oh, there's a sixth phase? What is it? 798 00:38:57,792 --> 00:39:00,792 Uh, I don't know. 799 00:39:03,458 --> 00:39:04,458 No. 800 00:39:06,250 --> 00:39:08,750 Oh, God, no. 801 00:39:09,458 --> 00:39:13,208 It's a mall Santa holding a chainsaw! 802 00:39:13,292 --> 00:39:14,833 Mall Santa? 803 00:39:16,708 --> 00:39:18,208 -Oh! -Oh, my God! 804 00:39:18,292 --> 00:39:21,000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 805 00:39:21,083 --> 00:39:23,708 Oh, fuck! 806 00:39:28,167 --> 00:39:30,333 Now, what? What? 807 00:39:30,417 --> 00:39:31,833 How the fuck is he levitating? 808 00:39:31,917 --> 00:39:33,750 Oh, dear God. 809 00:39:33,833 --> 00:39:35,917 No, Santa! 810 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,458 I promise! I've been good! 811 00:39:42,458 --> 00:39:45,667 Kill me! 812 00:39:52,542 --> 00:39:54,542 We gotta get that fucking pizza. 813 00:39:56,875 --> 00:40:00,708 What is up, my dude? Good to meet a fellow delivery unit. 814 00:40:00,792 --> 00:40:03,750 -What is your name? -What the fuck? 815 00:40:03,833 --> 00:40:05,458 - Hello... - What the fuck? 816 00:40:05,542 --> 00:40:08,750 Do you also delight in satisfying customers? 817 00:40:08,833 --> 00:40:10,042 I do. 818 00:40:10,125 --> 00:40:12,625 When I receive a rating of five stars, 819 00:40:12,708 --> 00:40:16,500 my circuits surge with digital euphoria. 820 00:40:16,583 --> 00:40:19,833 But to receive anything less is failure. 821 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:21,208 Doom. 822 00:40:21,292 --> 00:40:23,500 Oblivion. 823 00:40:25,250 --> 00:40:26,667 What the fuck? 824 00:40:26,750 --> 00:40:29,458 Yes, and I am Snackatron. 825 00:40:29,542 --> 00:40:31,083 Alright, let's climb down. 826 00:40:31,167 --> 00:40:33,792 The scaffolding is shaky as shit. 827 00:40:33,875 --> 00:40:35,958 We should probably go one at a time. 828 00:40:36,042 --> 00:40:37,917 Ooh! I almost biffed it. 829 00:40:40,542 --> 00:40:42,375 Hey, is that a WorryWart? 830 00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:45,917 Oh, um, yeah. 831 00:40:48,458 --> 00:40:51,458 They're great, right? Not the newer models. 832 00:40:51,542 --> 00:40:53,958 They kinda suck 'cause they added too many doodads. 833 00:40:54,042 --> 00:40:55,667 It's, like, six more sides, it's terrible. 834 00:40:56,625 --> 00:40:59,250 But, you know, if you need any other recs, let me know. 835 00:40:59,333 --> 00:41:02,542 Like, for example, when I'm really freaking out, 836 00:41:02,625 --> 00:41:05,417 it helps when someone grabs my right earlobe 837 00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:07,125 and blows on my nose. 838 00:41:09,083 --> 00:41:10,417 Um, listen. 839 00:41:11,250 --> 00:41:13,583 I just want to say, I... 840 00:41:13,667 --> 00:41:15,833 I didn't ditch you guys. I just-- You were like my-- 841 00:41:15,917 --> 00:41:17,000 No, I get it. 842 00:41:17,083 --> 00:41:18,625 You got to go with the alphas. 843 00:41:18,708 --> 00:41:20,667 I'm actually becoming an alpha myself. 844 00:41:20,750 --> 00:41:22,625 Ah! What?! What? 845 00:41:22,708 --> 00:41:23,708 Oh. 846 00:41:24,667 --> 00:41:26,667 -N-Nothing happened. -Oh, yeah. 847 00:41:26,750 --> 00:41:29,583 No, I know. I just thought, like, something might. 848 00:41:32,792 --> 00:41:34,667 Anyhow. Cheers. 849 00:41:38,958 --> 00:41:39,958 Guys! 850 00:41:40,042 --> 00:41:41,792 Get down here! 851 00:41:51,167 --> 00:41:52,375 Whoa. 852 00:41:52,458 --> 00:41:54,875 It's the pajama party. 853 00:41:54,958 --> 00:41:56,375 You guys think they have Jell-O shots? 854 00:41:56,458 --> 00:41:57,458 Who cares? 855 00:41:57,542 --> 00:41:58,542 Montgomery! 856 00:41:59,417 --> 00:42:00,833 - Montgomery! - Oh, my God. 857 00:42:00,917 --> 00:42:03,958 -Ashley's here. -Montgomery! Come meet my friends! 858 00:42:04,042 --> 00:42:05,292 -What should I do? -Nothing. 859 00:42:05,375 --> 00:42:06,708 - Should I go talk to her? - No. 860 00:42:06,792 --> 00:42:08,208 - Montgomery. - Come on, we have a fucking mission. 861 00:42:08,292 --> 00:42:09,500 Okay, I won't. 862 00:42:11,792 --> 00:42:14,125 I-I'm not gonna go talk to her, I'm just gonna go talk to her. 863 00:42:14,208 --> 00:42:15,625 -Get the fuck back over here. -Montgomery. 864 00:42:15,708 --> 00:42:16,917 - Wish me luck. - No! 865 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,083 - Bad luck, you fucker. There he goes. - Fuck. 866 00:42:19,167 --> 00:42:22,208 I'm honestly a little proud of him. Any other night, this would be great. 867 00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:25,583 Wait, whose dorm is this? 868 00:42:29,083 --> 00:42:30,708 This is a football party. 869 00:42:30,792 --> 00:42:33,542 Yo, we got kegs, beer pong, and I'm legally required 870 00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:36,125 to tell you I'm a registered sex offender. 871 00:42:36,208 --> 00:42:38,583 It's fine. Let's just keep moving and get to the pizza. 872 00:42:39,625 --> 00:42:40,625 Jack? 873 00:42:40,708 --> 00:42:43,542 Come in, come in, come in. Guys, this is Montgomery. 874 00:42:43,625 --> 00:42:45,208 Montgomery, this is my band. 875 00:42:45,292 --> 00:42:48,083 Oh, hi. Nice to meet you guys. 876 00:42:48,167 --> 00:42:50,708 'Kay. 877 00:42:50,792 --> 00:42:53,042 So, what type of music do you guys play? 878 00:42:53,125 --> 00:42:55,417 -We play folk music. -Oh, my gosh, I love folk. 879 00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:58,458 Yeah? Here. Flyers. 880 00:42:59,083 --> 00:43:01,292 -Oh. -Well, I guess technically, it's new wave, 881 00:43:01,375 --> 00:43:04,042 non-consensual Death Metal Folk. 882 00:43:04,125 --> 00:43:05,583 Uh, what type of instruments is that? 883 00:43:05,667 --> 00:43:08,292 So, George plays guitar, Simon's on horns, 884 00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,583 Tina's on drums, and I play Dudley. 885 00:43:10,667 --> 00:43:12,333 Nice to meet you. 886 00:43:12,417 --> 00:43:14,333 -You play Dudley? -Yeah. 887 00:43:14,417 --> 00:43:17,667 I hook him up to this machine that simulates the pains of childbirth, 888 00:43:17,750 --> 00:43:20,750 and then I create harmonies from his extracted screams. 889 00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:23,458 -Fantastic. -Yeah. 890 00:43:23,542 --> 00:43:25,750 -Hey! -Ah! Oh, it's you. Okay. 891 00:43:25,833 --> 00:43:27,167 What are you doing under here? Come on, let's go. 892 00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:28,875 Are you nuts? 893 00:43:28,958 --> 00:43:31,792 These animals will eat me alive. No, I'm staying right here. 894 00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:33,708 Fine, whatever. I'll just go figure out a way 895 00:43:33,792 --> 00:43:35,042 to get this pizza without you. 896 00:43:35,125 --> 00:43:37,292 Great, good. Just go ditch us again. 897 00:43:37,375 --> 00:43:39,458 -Can you just stop with that, okay? -Oh. 898 00:43:39,542 --> 00:43:41,042 -Because I didn't ditch you guys. -No? 899 00:43:41,125 --> 00:43:42,875 You were like my first-month-of-school friends, 900 00:43:42,958 --> 00:43:45,125 and then I found my real friends, and it happens to everyone. 901 00:43:45,208 --> 00:43:46,208 Your real friends? 902 00:43:46,292 --> 00:43:47,625 -Yes. -Give me a fucking break. 903 00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:49,417 They don't like you, they like your credit card. 904 00:43:50,667 --> 00:43:52,125 You have no idea what you're talking about. 905 00:43:52,208 --> 00:43:55,083 You're just jealous because you're you... 906 00:43:55,167 --> 00:43:57,375 ...and I'm me. 907 00:43:59,458 --> 00:44:00,667 What just happened to my voice? 908 00:44:02,667 --> 00:44:04,875 And why am I looking at me? 909 00:44:06,958 --> 00:44:07,958 Oh. 910 00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:09,708 Oh, my God. 911 00:44:09,792 --> 00:44:12,167 Am I in your body? 912 00:44:17,583 --> 00:44:20,250 I don't know if you know this, but I recently became an alpha. 913 00:44:20,333 --> 00:44:23,042 Oh, nice! Is this the coke room? 914 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,167 Whoops. Sorry about that. 915 00:44:26,750 --> 00:44:29,917 Anyhow, like I was saying, I hate soy boy beta cucks. 916 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000 Did you just apologize to him? 917 00:44:33,542 --> 00:44:35,458 Yeah. I mean, no. I mean-- 918 00:44:35,542 --> 00:44:37,417 Okay, I think I'm just gonna go hang out 919 00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:38,750 -with my friends. -Wait, uh... 920 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:43,417 Montgomery? 921 00:44:44,625 --> 00:44:47,250 Huh? 922 00:44:47,333 --> 00:44:50,667 What's going on? Where am I? 923 00:44:50,750 --> 00:44:53,708 Wait. Oh, my God! Am I...? 924 00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:56,833 What the fuck is this fucking drug? 925 00:45:02,708 --> 00:45:03,708 Are you okay? 926 00:45:03,792 --> 00:45:06,083 I crave nectar. 927 00:45:06,958 --> 00:45:07,958 Sorry? 928 00:45:08,042 --> 00:45:13,500 I... crave... nectar. 929 00:45:14,208 --> 00:45:16,958 Jack, did you paint your fingernails with Sharpie? 930 00:45:17,042 --> 00:45:19,167 -Shut up, they look great. -What's wrong with you? 931 00:45:19,250 --> 00:45:20,583 Yo. 932 00:45:20,667 --> 00:45:22,583 - Lizzy? - Yeah? 933 00:45:22,667 --> 00:45:24,208 Hm? 934 00:45:24,292 --> 00:45:26,500 I'm not talking to you. Lizzy. 935 00:45:26,583 --> 00:45:28,667 -What? -Stop it. 936 00:45:28,750 --> 00:45:31,833 Dude, what are you doing down here with freak-ass face? 937 00:45:31,917 --> 00:45:36,542 Actually, I'm hanging out with him because he fucking rules. 938 00:45:36,625 --> 00:45:38,917 No! No, you don't think that. You think I blow. 939 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,250 -No, I don't. -Yeah, you do. 940 00:45:40,333 --> 00:45:41,583 -No, I don't. -Yeah, you do. 941 00:45:41,667 --> 00:45:44,292 No, I don't, and I really wouldn't call his face freak-ass. 942 00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:45,875 I would call it distinguished. 943 00:45:45,958 --> 00:45:47,375 And I don't know why people keep saying that. 944 00:45:47,458 --> 00:45:48,667 Yeah, you fucker, you do. 945 00:45:48,750 --> 00:45:50,208 You think people should spit in my face. 946 00:45:50,292 --> 00:45:51,500 Spit in my face. 947 00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:53,917 Thank you. 948 00:45:54,667 --> 00:45:58,417 'Kay. Well, we're over by the bar. Come hang. 949 00:45:59,583 --> 00:46:01,042 What are you waiting for? Go hang. 950 00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:02,625 I'm not hanging out with those assholes. 951 00:46:02,708 --> 00:46:05,625 You go to them, or... I will rip your dick off! 952 00:46:05,708 --> 00:46:08,875 Oh, you touch my dick, I will piss your skort. 953 00:46:08,958 --> 00:46:11,042 Lizzy! Jell-O shots! 954 00:46:15,458 --> 00:46:17,208 -Okay, fine. -Yes. Thank you. 955 00:46:17,292 --> 00:46:19,250 -But you owe me one. -Sure. 956 00:46:19,333 --> 00:46:21,625 Just make me look good, please. Please. 957 00:46:21,708 --> 00:46:23,542 -'Kay. -Yeah, no shit. 958 00:46:23,625 --> 00:46:26,208 -What's up, sluts? -God, Jack. 959 00:46:26,292 --> 00:46:29,208 Let's do some Jell-O shots! 960 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,917 Hey, dude, could you grab that ball? 961 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,125 Also, I am legally required to inform you I'm a registered sex offender. 962 00:46:35,208 --> 00:46:36,208 Huh? 963 00:46:36,292 --> 00:46:38,208 Wait. It's you! 964 00:46:38,292 --> 00:46:39,792 It's me? Oh, fuck, it's me. 965 00:46:39,875 --> 00:46:42,042 Oh, fuck! Ah, my purse! 966 00:46:47,917 --> 00:46:50,708 This can't be real. This can't be real. 967 00:46:50,792 --> 00:46:53,625 I can't see shit. This face sucks! 968 00:46:56,625 --> 00:46:58,083 Whoa! 'Scuse me. 969 00:46:58,167 --> 00:46:59,417 I shall have nectar! 970 00:47:01,042 --> 00:47:03,167 I hope Lysander's being responsible with my body. 971 00:47:03,250 --> 00:47:04,458 Hey, man, do a bump. 972 00:47:06,833 --> 00:47:08,042 Nectar! 973 00:47:08,958 --> 00:47:10,333 Where are the stairs?! 974 00:47:13,042 --> 00:47:17,667 Lizzy! Lizzy! Lizzy! 975 00:47:17,750 --> 00:47:19,125 Ow! Ow! 976 00:47:19,208 --> 00:47:21,417 -Ow! Ow! -Yo, yo, yo. Hey, yo. 977 00:47:21,500 --> 00:47:23,833 -What are you doing? -Oh, Logan, thank God. 978 00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,125 - You gotta hit him way harder than that. - Huh? 979 00:47:26,208 --> 00:47:27,917 You gotta lean into it. Use your back. 980 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,208 - Ow! - Yes! 981 00:47:29,292 --> 00:47:31,458 - That's that shit I'm talkin' 'bout, baby! - Ow! 982 00:47:31,542 --> 00:47:33,750 Oh, come on. Where are the-- 983 00:47:33,833 --> 00:47:35,583 Stairs! 984 00:47:35,667 --> 00:47:39,417 How does Lysander do this all the time? 985 00:47:39,500 --> 00:47:40,917 I gotta take a break. 986 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:42,208 Eyes front. 987 00:47:42,292 --> 00:47:44,500 Wait, that voice. Is that...? 988 00:47:45,792 --> 00:47:49,000 Advisors, prepare yourselves. 989 00:47:49,083 --> 00:47:51,417 Just down that hall... 990 00:47:52,583 --> 00:47:54,583 there is a pajama party. 991 00:47:54,667 --> 00:47:55,875 Oh no. 992 00:47:55,958 --> 00:48:00,375 And in it, are the remaining students on our list. 993 00:48:01,042 --> 00:48:02,083 List? 994 00:48:02,167 --> 00:48:06,792 This list contains the name of every student in this dorm 995 00:48:06,875 --> 00:48:08,792 that has made our lives a living hell. 996 00:48:08,875 --> 00:48:10,375 Alright, let me see. 997 00:48:10,458 --> 00:48:12,458 What?! No! Holy shit! 998 00:48:13,292 --> 00:48:17,125 Did you also just hear the tiniest voice in the world say, "Holy shit"? 999 00:48:18,208 --> 00:48:19,750 We move quickly. 1000 00:48:19,833 --> 00:48:23,833 We confiscate their phones, unlock them with our secret weapon, 1001 00:48:23,917 --> 00:48:27,208 and then use them to submit a very specific housing request... 1002 00:48:28,208 --> 00:48:32,208 to transfer them to the worst dorm at this school. 1003 00:48:32,292 --> 00:48:33,458 What?! 1004 00:48:33,542 --> 00:48:35,167 I'm of course talking about... 1005 00:48:36,667 --> 00:48:38,500 Gralk Hall. 1006 00:48:40,125 --> 00:48:45,208 Located four hours away on a satellite campus forgotten by God. 1007 00:48:47,250 --> 00:48:51,083 Lit by candle, plumbed by aqueduct, 1008 00:48:51,167 --> 00:48:55,333 and heated by the bitter breath of unheard prayers. 1009 00:48:55,417 --> 00:48:59,167 Gralk is a cemetery for the living. 1010 00:48:59,250 --> 00:49:02,250 It turns even the good kids 1011 00:49:02,333 --> 00:49:05,333 into unforgiving feral beasts. 1012 00:49:10,667 --> 00:49:16,500 ♪ Banished to Gralk, the kids fade fast ♪ 1013 00:49:16,583 --> 00:49:20,208 ♪ Each breath more distant ♪ 1014 00:49:20,292 --> 00:49:22,917 ♪ Than the last ♪ 1015 00:49:23,583 --> 00:49:26,833 ♪ Their lives are over ♪ 1016 00:49:26,917 --> 00:49:30,167 ♪ They never call ♪ 1017 00:49:30,250 --> 00:49:33,250 ♪ Forgotten names ♪ 1018 00:49:33,333 --> 00:49:37,958 ♪ Inside Gralk Hall ♪ 1019 00:49:39,958 --> 00:49:42,375 Sorry. I, like, totally blacked out. 1020 00:49:42,458 --> 00:49:44,042 Could you repeat that? 1021 00:49:44,125 --> 00:49:46,667 Go away! We don't like you, okay? 1022 00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:48,083 Go anywhere else but here. 1023 00:49:48,167 --> 00:49:49,417 For sure. 1024 00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:51,917 The rest of you... let's move out. 1025 00:49:53,583 --> 00:49:55,917 Oh, God! I gotta get back! I gotta warn him! 1026 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:57,708 Yeah, I ordered everything off the menu. 1027 00:49:57,792 --> 00:49:59,917 Got the flank steak, got the hanger steak, 1028 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,417 - got the filet mignon... - Nectar! 1029 00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:03,125 ...got the duck confit, got the gumbo... 1030 00:50:03,208 --> 00:50:05,208 ...got the milkshake, chocolate and vanilla-- 1031 00:50:05,292 --> 00:50:08,083 Hey, what the fuck, man? Who the fuck are you? 1032 00:50:09,125 --> 00:50:12,375 I am Lysander Featherhelm, third of his name, 1033 00:50:12,458 --> 00:50:14,500 Lord of the Syracuse Meadows. 1034 00:50:14,583 --> 00:50:16,917 I serve the one God Montgomery, 1035 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,792 and I shall have my nectar! 1036 00:50:24,917 --> 00:50:26,333 What the fuck?! 1037 00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:32,250 I'm not Jack! 1038 00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:35,208 - Yes! Yes! - Ow! 1039 00:50:35,292 --> 00:50:38,167 Oh! Oh, shit. Yo, I gotta bounce. 1040 00:50:38,250 --> 00:50:40,125 -The party bus is here. -Wait! You need Lizzy, you need Lizzy! 1041 00:50:40,208 --> 00:50:41,417 She's right over there. She's right over there. 1042 00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:42,750 Lizzy! Lizzy! 1043 00:50:42,833 --> 00:50:44,167 Shit. Yes. 1044 00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:47,500 Guess we need her credit card. Ugh! Whatever. 1045 00:50:47,583 --> 00:50:50,417 - She'll meet us there. - Lizzy! Lizzy! Lizzy! 1046 00:50:50,500 --> 00:50:54,542 -Lizzy! Lizzy! Lizzy! -Yes! I rule the sch-- 1047 00:50:54,625 --> 00:50:57,667 --ool! Oh, fuck. Ow! 1048 00:50:57,750 --> 00:50:59,417 Lizzy! Lizzy! 1049 00:51:02,750 --> 00:51:06,208 Come on, Montgomery. Fly! Fly! 1050 00:51:06,292 --> 00:51:08,792 Oh, my God. Montgomery? Are you okay? 1051 00:51:08,875 --> 00:51:11,625 Yeah. Wait, what did I do? 1052 00:51:14,125 --> 00:51:17,042 Ugh! Ew. 1053 00:51:19,417 --> 00:51:20,500 Disgusting. 1054 00:51:20,583 --> 00:51:21,792 Okay, wow. 1055 00:51:21,875 --> 00:51:23,542 I mean, that was kind of incredible. 1056 00:51:23,625 --> 00:51:25,042 Yeah. Wait, what was? 1057 00:51:25,125 --> 00:51:27,000 You dominated that guy. 1058 00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:28,167 -It-- -I, I don't know. I'm sorry. 1059 00:51:28,250 --> 00:51:29,708 Actually, I gotta go. But nice seeing you! 1060 00:51:29,792 --> 00:51:31,792 -Hang later, bye! -Oh, okay, well, uh, see you later! 1061 00:51:36,333 --> 00:51:39,708 So, thanks for making me look good. 1062 00:51:39,792 --> 00:51:41,500 -I owe you one. -You owe me two. 1063 00:51:41,583 --> 00:51:43,083 -One. -One and a half? 1064 00:51:43,167 --> 00:51:44,333 Zero. 1065 00:51:44,417 --> 00:51:45,833 -One. -Deal. 1066 00:51:45,917 --> 00:51:47,208 Oh! Oh, my God. 1067 00:51:47,292 --> 00:51:48,417 -What? -They're outside. 1068 00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:50,208 -Who? -They're kicking kids to Gralk Hall. 1069 00:51:50,292 --> 00:51:51,833 -Who is? -We gotta get outta here. 1070 00:51:51,917 --> 00:51:53,917 -What are you talking about, man? -Am I on cocaine? 1071 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,625 Hide. 1072 00:51:56,708 --> 00:51:58,500 RAs! 1073 00:51:58,583 --> 00:52:02,208 Room check! 1074 00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,500 Oh, I can't believe that fucking worked. 1075 00:52:11,583 --> 00:52:13,167 Is someone there? No, please! 1076 00:52:13,250 --> 00:52:15,042 I'm stuck in here! You gotta help me! 1077 00:52:15,125 --> 00:52:17,042 I'm gonna go fucking crazy! 1078 00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:19,708 -Oh, shit! -Oh! RAs! 1079 00:52:19,792 --> 00:52:21,458 - In here. - Go, go, go, go, go. 1080 00:52:21,542 --> 00:52:23,375 Shut it, shut it, shut it! 1081 00:52:23,958 --> 00:52:25,708 Monty, what the hell is going on? 1082 00:52:25,792 --> 00:52:28,167 The RAs are taking people's phones and using them 1083 00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:32,167 to request room transfers to Gralk Hall, and our names are on the list! 1084 00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:34,458 Fuck! If we get sent to Gralk Hall, 1085 00:52:34,542 --> 00:52:36,583 it won't even matter if we stop this drug. 1086 00:52:36,667 --> 00:52:38,458 I mean, what life will we even have left to live? 1087 00:52:38,542 --> 00:52:41,208 I know! Ashley will never date me, 1088 00:52:41,292 --> 00:52:44,042 I'll probably get scurvy, and they don't have any single rooms. 1089 00:52:44,125 --> 00:52:45,542 What about me? 1090 00:52:45,625 --> 00:52:48,208 If I get sent to Gralk, then Logan will probably never talk to me again. 1091 00:52:48,292 --> 00:52:50,042 Oh, this again. At least you'll survive. 1092 00:52:50,125 --> 00:52:52,500 These kids are gonna rip me apart like a pack of wild dogs. 1093 00:52:52,583 --> 00:52:55,417 Let's just focus up. The RAs need our phones, right? 1094 00:52:55,500 --> 00:52:57,875 So, we just need to get the pizza and get out of the dorms, 1095 00:52:57,958 --> 00:53:01,417 and then we won't get chainsawed or Gralked. 1096 00:53:01,500 --> 00:53:04,542 Okay? And in the meantime, we'll just hide here in the... 1097 00:53:06,458 --> 00:53:07,542 Oh, no. 1098 00:53:07,625 --> 00:53:09,708 Just grabbing something from the meeting room, I'll be right there. 1099 00:53:09,792 --> 00:53:11,292 -Cremble sauce! -Language. 1100 00:53:11,375 --> 00:53:12,375 How do we get outta here? 1101 00:53:13,542 --> 00:53:14,958 Vent! We go through the vent. 1102 00:53:15,042 --> 00:53:16,375 -You wanna crawl through the vent? -Are you insane? 1103 00:53:16,458 --> 00:53:17,833 -We're not crawling into a vent. -What are you talking about? 1104 00:53:17,917 --> 00:53:19,167 We need to think of something realistic. 1105 00:53:19,500 --> 00:53:22,042 Don't have too much fun without me! 1106 00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:28,167 You are blowing it! 1107 00:53:29,250 --> 00:53:30,875 Pull yourself together, Sidney. 1108 00:53:33,458 --> 00:53:36,292 -Hi. -Oh, my God, I'm sorry. 1109 00:53:36,375 --> 00:53:38,125 I didn't realize there were other people in here. 1110 00:53:38,208 --> 00:53:40,292 Uh, I'm Sidney. I'm new here. 1111 00:53:40,375 --> 00:53:41,792 - Still meeting all the RAs. - Hi. 1112 00:53:41,875 --> 00:53:42,917 - How's it going? - Good tidings. 1113 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,375 - Uh, well, we really-- We gotta get going. - Mm. 1114 00:53:45,458 --> 00:53:47,917 Oh, actually, do you mind if I ask you some questions? 1115 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,000 I'm having kind of a hard time fitting in. 1116 00:53:50,083 --> 00:53:52,875 Ooh, we really, really gotta go, though. 1117 00:53:54,375 --> 00:53:57,125 Yeah, it's, um-- Obviously, things are, like, crazy right now. 1118 00:53:57,208 --> 00:53:59,625 You guys probably have official RA duties to do, right? 1119 00:53:59,708 --> 00:54:01,500 No. 1120 00:54:03,083 --> 00:54:05,500 I mean, no. What?! 1121 00:54:05,583 --> 00:54:07,375 -Hm? -Sorry about him. 1122 00:54:07,458 --> 00:54:10,625 What he means to say is no. 1123 00:54:10,708 --> 00:54:12,167 No. No. 1124 00:54:12,250 --> 00:54:15,125 Look, the truth is... 1125 00:54:15,208 --> 00:54:17,417 no, we don't have any RA duties. 1126 00:54:18,333 --> 00:54:21,292 Great. So, we can talk. Let's grab a seat. 1127 00:54:27,625 --> 00:54:32,000 So, I just started, and I feel like everyone's mad at me, you know? 1128 00:54:32,083 --> 00:54:35,000 But I don't know why, 'cause I'm trying really hard and being nice. 1129 00:54:35,083 --> 00:54:38,458 And I guess I'm just looking for ways to connect with the other RAs. 1130 00:54:38,542 --> 00:54:41,708 Um, like, you know, what do you guys do in your free time? 1131 00:54:41,792 --> 00:54:43,583 Oh, not much. Sometimes I Google, 1132 00:54:43,667 --> 00:54:45,375 "Is my penis foreskin too long?" 1133 00:54:47,208 --> 00:54:48,208 Hm. 1134 00:54:49,833 --> 00:54:51,333 Yeah. Well. 1135 00:54:51,417 --> 00:54:53,292 I guess I meant more like communal activities. 1136 00:54:53,375 --> 00:54:55,708 Like, do you guys go to the gym together or exercise, or-- 1137 00:54:55,792 --> 00:54:58,125 I only go to the gym to sneak peeks at other guys' foreskin 1138 00:54:58,208 --> 00:55:00,292 to see if mine is way longer than normal. 1139 00:55:00,917 --> 00:55:02,125 What the fuck? 1140 00:55:02,708 --> 00:55:03,708 Totally. 1141 00:55:03,792 --> 00:55:06,250 Um, I'm just gonna pivot away from the moment you're having, 1142 00:55:06,333 --> 00:55:07,917 and I'll pop it over to you. 1143 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,750 -Pass. -No, can't pass. 1144 00:55:09,833 --> 00:55:11,667 Just trying to see if we're into the same things. 1145 00:55:11,750 --> 00:55:13,250 Like, what'd you do last Saturday? 1146 00:55:13,333 --> 00:55:15,875 Oh, nothing really. I had breakfast, 1147 00:55:15,958 --> 00:55:17,708 and then I got banned from OldBuffDaddies.com 1148 00:55:17,792 --> 00:55:19,458 for violating their terms of service. 1149 00:55:20,750 --> 00:55:24,375 I don't want to ask, but I need to know. 1150 00:55:24,458 --> 00:55:26,083 -What'd you do? -I tried to pay a prostitute 1151 00:55:26,167 --> 00:55:29,250 to impersonate my father and pay me compliments. 1152 00:55:30,625 --> 00:55:33,042 Okay, feel like I need to change how I'm asking the questions. 1153 00:55:33,125 --> 00:55:35,583 I'm not talking about weird stuff you've done on the internet. 1154 00:55:35,667 --> 00:55:37,458 More like, "What's something you've done today?" 1155 00:55:37,542 --> 00:55:39,875 I purchased a pill that's reported to shrink foreskins by 35%. 1156 00:55:39,958 --> 00:55:41,167 -I'm done talking to ya. -Thank God. 1157 00:55:41,250 --> 00:55:42,667 -Maybe I'm talking to you. -Pass. 1158 00:55:42,750 --> 00:55:44,292 -There's no passing. -But I'm a woman. 1159 00:55:44,375 --> 00:55:46,083 -That won't work on me. -There should be passing. 1160 00:55:46,167 --> 00:55:47,958 -I didn't pass. -I'm not talking to you. 1161 00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:50,458 - Please don't. - Alright, you, blonde girl. 1162 00:55:50,542 --> 00:55:51,667 What have you done today? 1163 00:55:51,750 --> 00:55:53,500 I got my nails done. 1164 00:55:54,417 --> 00:55:56,917 Okay, that's what I'm talking about. 1165 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,667 Let's keep it in that gear, huh? What else? 1166 00:55:59,750 --> 00:56:01,792 I went number two in Logan's toilet, but it clogged, 1167 00:56:01,875 --> 00:56:03,500 and I didn't want him to see my poop, so I put it in a bag, 1168 00:56:03,583 --> 00:56:04,875 and that bag's still in my purse. 1169 00:56:09,042 --> 00:56:10,875 'Kay. 1170 00:56:12,917 --> 00:56:14,250 -Are you okay? -No. 1171 00:56:14,333 --> 00:56:17,083 Okay... I gotta ask. 1172 00:56:17,167 --> 00:56:19,125 Why are y'all doing this stuff? 1173 00:56:19,208 --> 00:56:20,750 Because I'm seeking external validation 1174 00:56:20,833 --> 00:56:23,250 to alleviate my deep-seated fear of being alone. 1175 00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,417 Oh, my gosh. 1176 00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:29,417 I think I'm starting to understand something. 1177 00:56:30,042 --> 00:56:32,250 You guys are friends 1178 00:56:32,333 --> 00:56:36,792 because you reveal your ugliest, darkest truths to one another, 1179 00:56:36,875 --> 00:56:38,292 and you don't judge each other for it. 1180 00:56:39,250 --> 00:56:41,250 That's what friendship is, huh? 1181 00:56:42,292 --> 00:56:43,917 So, I'll join ya. 1182 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:47,583 I'm just gonna tell you guys something I've never told anyone before. 1183 00:56:47,667 --> 00:56:48,708 -You don't have to. -I'm gonna. 1184 00:56:48,792 --> 00:56:49,792 Okay. 1185 00:56:50,292 --> 00:56:52,792 My name is Sidney Putt. I am 31 years young. 1186 00:56:53,667 --> 00:56:55,667 I like to dress up as the Grinch in a diaper 1187 00:56:55,750 --> 00:56:59,167 while sucking down a bunch of helium so I sound like a baby. 1188 00:57:04,125 --> 00:57:05,750 That feels incredible to share. 1189 00:57:05,833 --> 00:57:07,833 Thank you all for creating the space for me to say that. 1190 00:57:09,750 --> 00:57:12,458 Great. Well, we really gotta get going. 1191 00:57:12,542 --> 00:57:14,125 Absolutely, yeah. 1192 00:57:14,208 --> 00:57:16,875 I'll, uh, I'll see you guys at the next RA meeting. 1193 00:57:16,958 --> 00:57:18,708 No, you won't, because we're not RAs. 1194 00:57:18,792 --> 00:57:20,917 We're students on the Gralk Hall list. 1195 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:22,208 -Huh? -Uh... 1196 00:57:22,292 --> 00:57:23,375 -Blake! -Run! 1197 00:57:23,458 --> 00:57:25,667 -Blake! No. Blake! -Ooh. Oh, oh! Help! 1198 00:57:25,750 --> 00:57:27,917 -Help! Let go! -Help! No, stop it. 1199 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,333 - Let her go! - Help! Blake! 1200 00:57:29,417 --> 00:57:30,833 It's your first day. Why do you care? 1201 00:57:30,917 --> 00:57:33,125 Let her go, or I'll throw it at you. 1202 00:57:33,208 --> 00:57:35,417 -Okay. Okay. -I'll do it. Don't test me. 1203 00:57:35,500 --> 00:57:37,750 -Okay. -I'm on the frickin' edge! 1204 00:57:37,833 --> 00:57:39,250 - Take it easy. - I'll do it! 1205 00:57:39,333 --> 00:57:40,333 No, you won't. 1206 00:57:43,333 --> 00:57:46,042 -Yeah! Snackatron! -Hey! Hey, we're here! We're here! 1207 00:57:46,125 --> 00:57:47,250 Hello, Montgomery. 1208 00:57:47,333 --> 00:57:49,250 It's a robot? 1209 00:57:49,333 --> 00:57:51,417 Before you receive your food from... 1210 00:57:51,500 --> 00:57:53,708 I'm not doing it again. Get outta here. 1211 00:57:53,792 --> 00:57:55,500 ...you must agree to the following terms. 1212 00:57:55,583 --> 00:57:56,667 Item one: 1213 00:57:56,750 --> 00:57:58,958 You agree not to sue Snackatron LLC 1214 00:57:59,042 --> 00:58:01,792 for any harm caused by Snackatron 3000 1215 00:58:01,875 --> 00:58:03,292 -during the delivery process. -Hey. Hi, Logan. 1216 00:58:03,375 --> 00:58:04,542 Lizzy! Where are you? 1217 00:58:04,625 --> 00:58:07,083 You have to pay the driver or he won't let me honk the horn! 1218 00:58:07,167 --> 00:58:08,667 Oh, uh, sorry. 1219 00:58:08,750 --> 00:58:11,083 Yeah, I just have to eat some pizza real quick. 1220 00:58:11,167 --> 00:58:14,042 We've got pizza on the bus, just get here! 1221 00:58:14,125 --> 00:58:17,750 You agree not to fall in love or lust with Snackatron. 1222 00:58:17,833 --> 00:58:20,250 Hey... uh, 1223 00:58:20,333 --> 00:58:22,792 - so they've got pizza on the bus. - Mm. 1224 00:58:22,875 --> 00:58:24,167 So, I'm gonna head there. 1225 00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:28,917 But, um, please don't tell anyone about my purse. 1226 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,958 -Oh, it's just shit. -I've actually done the exact same thing. 1227 00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:34,250 You may not teach Snackatron to be racist... 1228 00:58:34,333 --> 00:58:36,125 -Thanks, guys. I'll see you. -...and you may never, 1229 00:58:36,208 --> 00:58:39,125 ever ride Snackatron. Do you agree to these terms? 1230 00:58:39,208 --> 00:58:40,708 -Yes. -Please click agree. 1231 00:58:41,500 --> 00:58:43,708 - Yes! Oh-ho-ho-ho! - Fuck yeah. 1232 00:58:43,792 --> 00:58:45,833 Are you satisfied with your order? 1233 00:58:45,917 --> 00:58:47,542 God, let's eat this quick and get the fuck out of here 1234 00:58:47,625 --> 00:58:49,792 before we get sent to Gralk Hall. 1235 00:58:49,875 --> 00:58:52,125 Wait, what were you saying before about single rooms? 1236 00:58:52,208 --> 00:58:54,542 Oh, nothing, just that I'm requesting a room transfer 1237 00:58:54,625 --> 00:58:56,458 because I don't want to live with you anymore. 1238 00:59:00,250 --> 00:59:01,333 What? 1239 00:59:01,417 --> 00:59:02,625 Hello, boys. 1240 00:59:03,875 --> 00:59:05,875 We've been looking for you. 1241 00:59:05,958 --> 00:59:09,000 You made quite the mess in my room. 1242 00:59:09,083 --> 00:59:11,292 So, are you satisfied with your order? 1243 00:59:11,375 --> 00:59:13,167 Collect their phones... 1244 00:59:14,250 --> 00:59:18,667 and take them to the Wellness Lounge. 1245 00:59:23,125 --> 00:59:25,542 Montgomery, are you satisfied with your order? 1246 00:59:25,625 --> 00:59:27,458 Are you satisfied with your order?! 1247 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,833 Wait, wait! Hey! Let us go! 1248 00:59:43,917 --> 00:59:45,333 We have rights, dammit! 1249 00:59:45,417 --> 00:59:47,583 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 1250 00:59:47,667 --> 00:59:52,167 Wait! You c-- don't understand! Wait! At least give us our pizza! 1251 00:59:52,958 --> 00:59:55,375 At least give us our pizza! We need to eat pizz-- 1252 00:59:56,750 --> 00:59:59,750 Do you have any pizza? Do you have any pizza? 1253 01:00:01,292 --> 01:00:03,292 Fuck, Jack. What do we do?! 1254 01:00:04,708 --> 01:00:06,625 You're requesting a room transfer? 1255 01:00:06,708 --> 01:00:09,333 No. Oh, good, we can lie again. Shit. 1256 01:00:09,417 --> 01:00:10,833 So, you're fucking ditching me? 1257 01:00:10,917 --> 01:00:13,333 -I'm not ditching you. -Well, kinda looks like it. 1258 01:00:13,417 --> 01:00:14,708 What the fuck else would you really call it? 1259 01:00:14,792 --> 01:00:16,417 -I-It's not what-- -Oh, don't start. 1260 01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:18,583 You know what, you are just like everybody else. 1261 01:00:18,667 --> 01:00:19,875 -But it's okay, it's fine. -Jack. 1262 01:00:19,958 --> 01:00:22,250 I get it, because being around me is just, what, social suicide? 1263 01:00:22,333 --> 01:00:23,875 -It's okay. -No-- That's not what I-- 1264 01:00:23,958 --> 01:00:26,375 Leave me behind. I might as well just move here 1265 01:00:26,458 --> 01:00:28,458 into the Wellness Lounge with my people... 1266 01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:30,583 -Jack. -...the scum, the forgotten folk! 1267 01:00:30,667 --> 01:00:31,792 -Jack. -But it's fine. 1268 01:00:31,875 --> 01:00:33,625 -I-I want-- Just-- -It's a five-star fucking establishment! 1269 01:00:33,708 --> 01:00:35,167 -I want some time-- -And you and your butterfly... 1270 01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:36,833 -Jack, I'm not-- -...can just forget that I exist. 1271 01:00:36,917 --> 01:00:38,208 -I'm not-- -I mean, after everything 1272 01:00:38,292 --> 01:00:40,958 I have done for you, you ungrateful asshole! 1273 01:00:41,042 --> 01:00:44,125 Oh, my God, would you stop being such a fucking victim? 1274 01:00:45,833 --> 01:00:49,125 I wanted to switch rooms because I need a fucking break. 1275 01:00:49,208 --> 01:00:51,667 I'm sorry, Jack, but living with you, 1276 01:00:51,750 --> 01:00:53,750 it's like the Jack Show all the time. 1277 01:00:53,833 --> 01:00:56,417 You do whatever you want to do without thinking about anyone else. 1278 01:00:56,500 --> 01:00:58,750 Okay, well, when the fuck were you planning on telling me this? 1279 01:00:58,833 --> 01:01:01,042 -I'm not a mindreader. -You don't listen. 1280 01:01:01,125 --> 01:01:04,083 You ignore me and then pressure me to do shit that I don't want to do! 1281 01:01:04,167 --> 01:01:06,917 Name one thing I pressured you to do-- 1282 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,333 Drugs! 1283 01:01:08,417 --> 01:01:10,500 I didn't wanna do drugs tonight! 1284 01:01:10,583 --> 01:01:13,042 I don't even like drinking caffeinated tea. 1285 01:01:13,125 --> 01:01:15,500 But boo-hoo, everybody hates Jack, 1286 01:01:15,583 --> 01:01:17,333 so we gotta do what you wanna do. 1287 01:01:17,417 --> 01:01:20,250 Because, apparently, I don't count. 1288 01:01:21,375 --> 01:01:25,333 And now we're locked up in here, we're gonna get chainsawed up the ass, 1289 01:01:25,417 --> 01:01:27,792 the RAs are sending us to Gralk Hall, and-- 1290 01:01:29,958 --> 01:01:31,167 What the, what the fuck? 1291 01:01:32,542 --> 01:01:34,708 What the hell is going on?! 1292 01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:38,125 And I have no idea what that was, but I know it was your fault! 1293 01:01:38,208 --> 01:01:39,625 Oh, please. 1294 01:01:39,708 --> 01:01:41,708 If it wasn't for me, you'd never leave your room. 1295 01:01:41,792 --> 01:01:46,292 You would sit there, buried under your fucking covers, afraid to breathe, 1296 01:01:46,375 --> 01:01:51,792 because you are the most pathetic, biggest pussy I have ever met. 1297 01:01:53,583 --> 01:01:58,208 Gee, Jack, I really don't see why everybody hates your fucking guts. 1298 01:01:58,292 --> 01:02:00,042 -Fuck you. -Fuck you! 1299 01:02:10,167 --> 01:02:13,167 Him. Take him to the old Study Hall. 1300 01:02:14,796 --> 01:02:17,958 So, remember when I said I wasn't gonna fart on their faces, and-- 1301 01:02:18,042 --> 01:02:19,042 Oh, shit! She's here. 1302 01:02:19,125 --> 01:02:23,458 Lizzy! Lizzy! Lizzy! 1303 01:02:23,542 --> 01:02:25,917 Sorry, uh, where's that pizza? 1304 01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,792 Oh shit, the pizza. 1305 01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:30,125 I just-- I lied to you because you were taking forever. 1306 01:02:30,208 --> 01:02:32,833 Also, why do you smell vaguely of poop? 1307 01:02:32,917 --> 01:02:35,667 - I'll be right back. - Wait, you need to pay the driver! 1308 01:02:36,458 --> 01:02:37,792 Are you satisfied with your order? 1309 01:02:37,875 --> 01:02:40,417 Are you satisfied with your order? Are you satisfied with your order? 1310 01:02:40,500 --> 01:02:43,167 Are you satisfied with your order? Are you satisfied with your order? 1311 01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:46,625 Snackatron? Did you see where those two guys went? 1312 01:02:46,708 --> 01:02:49,333 Take them to the Wellness Lounge. 1313 01:02:50,458 --> 01:02:53,083 Cremble sauce! 1314 01:02:53,167 --> 01:02:58,375 I must know if Montgomery was satisfied with his order! 1315 01:03:07,375 --> 01:03:08,375 Hello, Jack. 1316 01:03:09,958 --> 01:03:10,958 Welcome. 1317 01:03:12,167 --> 01:03:13,792 Do you like the old Study Hall? 1318 01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:19,917 This room was built as a sanctuary 1319 01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:23,833 for hardworking students to research their theses 1320 01:03:23,917 --> 01:03:25,917 and prepare for exams. 1321 01:03:27,417 --> 01:03:28,833 But now... 1322 01:03:30,375 --> 01:03:32,875 ...it's nothing but rubble. 1323 01:03:32,958 --> 01:03:33,958 What? 1324 01:03:37,292 --> 01:03:39,917 -It's nothing but rubble. -Thank you. 1325 01:03:40,833 --> 01:03:42,458 The RAs recruited me young. 1326 01:03:43,667 --> 01:03:45,500 They promised me the world. 1327 01:03:46,792 --> 01:03:50,208 All I had to do was keep an eye on things after dark. 1328 01:03:51,083 --> 01:03:52,708 What they didn't mention... 1329 01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:57,750 is that the dark... never ends. 1330 01:03:59,042 --> 01:04:02,250 Try as I might, I couldn't calm the chaos. 1331 01:04:03,583 --> 01:04:06,000 This study hall was destroyed 1332 01:04:06,083 --> 01:04:09,667 when a drunken sophomore shot a Roman candle out of his ass 1333 01:04:09,750 --> 01:04:12,542 into a bucket of rum. 1334 01:04:12,625 --> 01:04:15,250 You see, there are no scholars here. 1335 01:04:16,542 --> 01:04:20,375 Only demons with student IDs. 1336 01:04:22,583 --> 01:04:25,417 And they must be purged. 1337 01:04:27,125 --> 01:04:30,625 All we need now is to unlock their phones, 1338 01:04:30,708 --> 01:04:34,125 and you, Jack, are the key. 1339 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:43,208 Early internet message boards predicted the coming of the chosen face. 1340 01:04:44,500 --> 01:04:47,333 One so distinct, 1341 01:04:47,417 --> 01:04:48,833 so peculiar... 1342 01:04:49,833 --> 01:04:53,083 so utterly freak-ass... 1343 01:04:53,167 --> 01:04:57,083 -Oh, come on. -...it would profoundly beguile 1344 01:04:57,167 --> 01:04:59,375 every phone's Face ID. 1345 01:05:01,083 --> 01:05:02,833 A skeleton key. 1346 01:05:02,917 --> 01:05:07,333 For nearly all of fall semester, we have searched for this face. 1347 01:05:08,500 --> 01:05:10,708 And now, we've found it. 1348 01:05:19,125 --> 01:05:21,125 One face to unlock them all. 1349 01:05:22,750 --> 01:05:25,958 Montgomery. Montgomery. 1350 01:05:26,042 --> 01:05:27,250 Montgomery. 1351 01:05:29,167 --> 01:05:32,125 -Where is the pizza? -The RAs took it. 1352 01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:34,292 Okay, well, come on. We-We-We gotta go get it. 1353 01:05:34,375 --> 01:05:36,375 No, I'm done. 1354 01:05:36,458 --> 01:05:39,667 I'm staying here, with the forgotten folk. 1355 01:05:40,208 --> 01:05:42,042 What are you talking about? 1356 01:05:42,125 --> 01:05:44,167 Wait. How did you get in here? 1357 01:05:44,250 --> 01:05:47,250 The door only locks from the inside! 1358 01:05:54,042 --> 01:05:56,042 Now, how are we gonna get outta here? 1359 01:06:05,792 --> 01:06:08,417 Come on, come on. 1360 01:06:08,500 --> 01:06:11,458 You can do it. Prove them wrong, Snackatron. 1361 01:06:11,542 --> 01:06:13,375 Prove them all wrong! 1362 01:06:13,458 --> 01:06:16,750 Yippee! 1363 01:06:16,833 --> 01:06:20,125 Only 182 left to go! 1364 01:06:21,333 --> 01:06:23,333 I can't believe we're crawling through a fucking vent. 1365 01:06:23,417 --> 01:06:25,625 Just keep going. It's gotta dump out somewhere. 1366 01:06:25,708 --> 01:06:28,542 Just wanted a quiet night in. 1367 01:06:28,625 --> 01:06:30,625 I keep getting friction burns. 1368 01:06:33,708 --> 01:06:35,542 Hey, why'd you stop? 1369 01:06:36,958 --> 01:06:37,958 Lysander? 1370 01:06:39,958 --> 01:06:41,292 Lysander? 1371 01:06:41,375 --> 01:06:44,208 Hey. Hey, buddy. You okay? 1372 01:06:47,625 --> 01:06:48,625 Lysander? 1373 01:06:50,458 --> 01:06:51,458 Hey. 1374 01:06:56,667 --> 01:06:57,667 He's... 1375 01:06:58,875 --> 01:06:59,875 dead. 1376 01:07:00,333 --> 01:07:03,083 I can't... What the fuck? 1377 01:07:03,167 --> 01:07:04,875 -Montgomery? -Oh, what the hell? 1378 01:07:04,958 --> 01:07:06,833 -Oh, shit. I lost my butterfly. -Hey. Montgomery. 1379 01:07:06,917 --> 01:07:08,500 -Montgomery. -I lost my best friend. 1380 01:07:08,583 --> 01:07:11,208 You have to keep it together. We have to get the pizza from the RAs. 1381 01:07:11,292 --> 01:07:13,958 No! I can't, there's too many of 'em. 1382 01:07:14,042 --> 01:07:16,667 Jack was right. I'm not an alpha. 1383 01:07:16,750 --> 01:07:18,042 I'm a fucking pussy! 1384 01:07:18,125 --> 01:07:19,958 - Montgomery, Montgomery, calm down. - I'm having 1385 01:07:20,042 --> 01:07:21,500 -a panic attack! -Hey. Look at me. 1386 01:07:21,583 --> 01:07:22,958 -Look at me. -No. 1387 01:07:23,042 --> 01:07:24,917 -Look at me! Montgomery! -No! 1388 01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:27,417 -Just let me die! -Hey! 1389 01:07:45,750 --> 01:07:48,375 Listen. You are not an alpha. 1390 01:07:49,750 --> 01:07:52,583 But you're also not a pussy. 1391 01:07:54,125 --> 01:07:57,125 You stood by your best friend when nobody else did. 1392 01:07:57,208 --> 01:07:58,417 That is brave. 1393 01:07:59,292 --> 01:08:01,292 I couldn't do that. 1394 01:08:02,917 --> 01:08:03,917 I, uh... 1395 01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:06,417 I didn't do that. 1396 01:08:08,625 --> 01:08:10,625 I ditched you guys. 1397 01:08:14,833 --> 01:08:16,917 I guess I thought that if I was friends with you, 1398 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:20,625 then... people wouldn't like me. 1399 01:08:22,708 --> 01:08:27,708 But... turns out, people don't like me very much anyway. 1400 01:08:28,625 --> 01:08:31,458 What? Who doesn't like you? 1401 01:08:32,542 --> 01:08:35,750 You're, like, the coolest person I've ever met. 1402 01:08:36,458 --> 01:08:39,667 You're smart. You're good at board games. 1403 01:08:39,750 --> 01:08:41,375 You do magic. 1404 01:08:42,833 --> 01:08:45,458 I mean, you're Lizzy the Magnificent. 1405 01:08:55,542 --> 01:08:57,958 Sorry we didn't get to finish the game. 1406 01:09:00,458 --> 01:09:01,667 Yeah. 1407 01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:03,667 That would've been nice to finally-- 1408 01:09:03,750 --> 01:09:05,667 The game! That's it. 1409 01:09:05,750 --> 01:09:07,792 Remember last campaign, how we created 1410 01:09:07,875 --> 01:09:10,000 that musical distraction with the merry minstrels? 1411 01:09:11,208 --> 01:09:13,208 Y-Yeah, but what does that have to do with-- 1412 01:09:13,292 --> 01:09:15,708 Let's go storm the Fortress of Thalamir. 1413 01:09:20,542 --> 01:09:21,958 Wait. 1414 01:09:22,042 --> 01:09:24,333 Sorry, I have no idea what we're doing. 1415 01:09:24,417 --> 01:09:26,167 Oh, right, I have to be more specific. 1416 01:09:26,250 --> 01:09:28,333 The RAs took Jack and the pizza to the old Study Hall, 1417 01:09:28,417 --> 01:09:30,042 and I have a plan to distract them. 1418 01:09:30,917 --> 01:09:32,000 Okay. 1419 01:09:42,500 --> 01:09:44,708 I am doing it! 1420 01:09:52,542 --> 01:09:56,083 There we go! 1421 01:09:59,792 --> 01:10:01,375 Still looking for a gig? 1422 01:10:01,458 --> 01:10:04,333 Sorry, I need more information. 1423 01:10:04,417 --> 01:10:06,208 Oh, right, sorry. I have to be more specific. 1424 01:10:06,292 --> 01:10:07,458 The RAs took Jack-- 1425 01:10:11,708 --> 01:10:15,125 That's the last phone. We're all set here, sir. 1426 01:10:16,792 --> 01:10:18,000 Listen up. 1427 01:10:19,500 --> 01:10:24,667 Tonight... is a momentous occasion. 1428 01:10:24,750 --> 01:10:28,792 The phones are all unlocked, synchronized, 1429 01:10:28,875 --> 01:10:31,500 and wired to the control panel. 1430 01:10:31,583 --> 01:10:34,958 Soon, the transfer requests will be sent. 1431 01:10:35,042 --> 01:10:37,875 Our watch will finally be ended. 1432 01:10:37,958 --> 01:10:40,958 And a bright, new day shall-- 1433 01:10:41,042 --> 01:10:43,042 Sorry, what is that music? 1434 01:10:44,792 --> 01:10:49,208 We are Flesh Grenade! Get ready for some fucking folk music! 1435 01:10:56,083 --> 01:10:59,083 What in the absolute fuck? 1436 01:11:01,792 --> 01:11:04,417 -What are you guys doing? -Shh! We're rescuing you. 1437 01:11:05,750 --> 01:11:07,958 -Hi. -Hi. 1438 01:11:08,875 --> 01:11:09,875 You look good. 1439 01:11:10,958 --> 01:11:12,167 Thank you, I know. 1440 01:11:12,250 --> 01:11:13,792 How've you been? 1441 01:11:13,875 --> 01:11:16,250 Fine. Like you care. 1442 01:11:17,250 --> 01:11:19,167 Well, if you're gonna talk like that, maybe I won't untie you. 1443 01:11:19,250 --> 01:11:21,000 -Maybe I don't wanna be untied. -Maybe I'll add more rope. 1444 01:11:21,083 --> 01:11:22,292 Shut the fuck up. 1445 01:11:22,375 --> 01:11:23,750 -What the fuck? Give that back! -Show's over. 1446 01:11:23,833 --> 01:11:25,708 -Get the fuck out. Let's go. -Give it back! No! 1447 01:11:25,792 --> 01:11:27,417 - Everyone, get out. - Take it outside! 1448 01:11:27,500 --> 01:11:30,417 We only have a few moments, so you guys are gonna go get the phones, 1449 01:11:30,500 --> 01:11:32,750 I'm gonna go get the pizza, and then we're gonna reconvene 1450 01:11:32,833 --> 01:11:34,708 at the stairwell, and then sneak out quietly. 1451 01:11:34,792 --> 01:11:36,292 -Got it? -Got it. 1452 01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:37,417 - Great. - Come on. 1453 01:11:37,500 --> 01:11:39,333 - Fuck you! - Let's move. 1454 01:11:40,208 --> 01:11:41,750 Montgomery! 1455 01:11:41,833 --> 01:11:44,125 -Fuck! -Are you satisfied with your order? 1456 01:11:44,208 --> 01:11:45,417 Oh-ho! 1457 01:11:46,500 --> 01:11:48,708 Look who's joined the party! 1458 01:11:48,792 --> 01:11:50,792 The last names on my list. 1459 01:11:50,875 --> 01:11:52,458 -Montgomery? -Hi. 1460 01:11:52,542 --> 01:11:54,417 - Lizzy? - Can I just ask? 1461 01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:57,250 Why am I being sent to Gralk Hall? 1462 01:11:57,333 --> 01:11:59,417 I'm a really well-behaved kid. 1463 01:11:59,500 --> 01:12:01,458 I mean, I'm polite, I'm nice. 1464 01:12:01,542 --> 01:12:03,500 I'm responsible with my body in the dorms. 1465 01:12:03,583 --> 01:12:05,375 I tell you guys my favorite puns. 1466 01:12:05,458 --> 01:12:06,792 You're weird, and we don't like you. 1467 01:12:06,875 --> 01:12:09,042 - Copy that. - Fine, you caught us. 1468 01:12:09,125 --> 01:12:11,292 Can we at least just have the pizza? 1469 01:12:11,375 --> 01:12:12,500 Pizza? 1470 01:12:12,583 --> 01:12:14,083 Oh, this pizza. 1471 01:12:14,167 --> 01:12:16,667 Yeah, it feels like it's missing a topping. 1472 01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:18,208 Maybe, uh... 1473 01:12:18,292 --> 01:12:20,958 Toxic waste. 1474 01:12:21,042 --> 01:12:22,792 -What?! -No! 1475 01:12:22,875 --> 01:12:24,875 Nooo! 1476 01:12:27,750 --> 01:12:32,208 Montgomery must be satisfied with his order! 1477 01:12:34,625 --> 01:12:36,125 Yes! 1478 01:12:36,208 --> 01:12:37,208 Oh no! 1479 01:12:37,667 --> 01:12:39,583 Oh. 1480 01:12:39,667 --> 01:12:41,875 Goddammit, Snackatron. 1481 01:12:43,375 --> 01:12:44,542 Ah. 1482 01:12:45,667 --> 01:12:47,292 Well... 1483 01:12:47,375 --> 01:12:48,875 ...time to die. 1484 01:12:48,958 --> 01:12:50,708 What, are you gonna, like, fucking kill us? 1485 01:12:50,792 --> 01:12:53,125 We're not-- No, we're not gonna kill you. 1486 01:12:53,208 --> 01:12:54,958 We're gonna, like, beat you guys up a bunch. 1487 01:12:55,042 --> 01:12:57,125 But how does that sound? "Time to beat you guys up a bunch"? 1488 01:12:57,208 --> 01:12:58,583 It scans weird. 1489 01:12:58,667 --> 01:13:01,167 I-- Whatever, just hurt them. 1490 01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:09,083 What's happening?! 1491 01:13:09,167 --> 01:13:12,250 Ah, shit, it's the next phase. 1492 01:13:12,333 --> 01:13:13,792 Which one is this? 1493 01:13:14,458 --> 01:13:16,458 We Are All One! 1494 01:13:29,042 --> 01:13:31,125 What the hell? 1495 01:13:31,208 --> 01:13:32,667 Is everyone okay? 1496 01:13:32,750 --> 01:13:35,792 What just happened? Where are we? 1497 01:13:35,875 --> 01:13:39,500 I think we're all inside some guy? 1498 01:13:39,583 --> 01:13:42,542 Oh, my God. I know what this is. 1499 01:13:42,625 --> 01:13:45,750 We're not one. We're... 1500 01:13:45,833 --> 01:13:48,250 Hola. My name is Juan. 1501 01:13:56,458 --> 01:13:57,792 What the fuck is this fucking drug? 1502 01:13:57,875 --> 01:13:59,083 Goddammit! 1503 01:13:59,167 --> 01:14:00,917 Who's controlling the legs? 1504 01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:02,208 - Me! - Who's me? 1505 01:14:02,292 --> 01:14:04,083 Jack! This is impossible! 1506 01:14:04,167 --> 01:14:05,250 -What's happening? -Shut up. 1507 01:14:05,333 --> 01:14:06,750 We need to move as one! 1508 01:14:06,833 --> 01:14:09,458 -Did you say "Juan"? -I said "one." 1509 01:14:09,542 --> 01:14:11,292 "Move as one." 1510 01:14:11,375 --> 01:14:13,333 Wait! "One" or "Juan"? 1511 01:14:13,417 --> 01:14:15,208 - One! - It doesn't matter! Come on! 1512 01:14:17,333 --> 01:14:18,917 Ow! Get off of me! 1513 01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:21,708 - You get off of me! - Guys, we need to focus. 1514 01:14:21,792 --> 01:14:23,792 -We're running out of time. -Enough. 1515 01:14:23,875 --> 01:14:26,500 And we're about to get our asses kicked. 1516 01:14:32,833 --> 01:14:34,042 Get 'em! 1517 01:14:38,917 --> 01:14:40,583 Whoa! 1518 01:14:41,667 --> 01:14:42,875 -Oh... -...my... 1519 01:14:42,958 --> 01:14:44,042 ...God! 1520 01:14:44,125 --> 01:14:45,542 Do something! 1521 01:14:56,458 --> 01:14:57,458 Hi-ya! 1522 01:14:59,042 --> 01:15:00,292 What is happening? 1523 01:15:00,375 --> 01:15:03,792 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1524 01:15:14,333 --> 01:15:15,833 Wait, wait, wait! Scorpion kick, scorpion kick! 1525 01:15:15,917 --> 01:15:17,542 Please, can we do a scorpion kick? 1526 01:15:21,750 --> 01:15:23,167 Thank you! 1527 01:15:33,083 --> 01:15:35,417 Well, everyone, here I am. 1528 01:15:35,500 --> 01:15:37,708 The real me. I'm not hiding anymore. 1529 01:15:41,042 --> 01:15:42,250 Oh! 1530 01:15:42,333 --> 01:15:43,750 Good for you, man. 1531 01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:46,833 M'kay. 1532 01:15:49,375 --> 01:15:50,792 Y'all are freaks. 1533 01:15:52,792 --> 01:15:55,417 - You forgot your balloons. - Keep 'em. 1534 01:16:40,125 --> 01:16:43,000 Oh, fuck! 1535 01:16:43,083 --> 01:16:44,917 Shit. Shit. Oh! 1536 01:16:47,833 --> 01:16:51,042 - Get to the control panel! - We gotta stop the RAs! 1537 01:16:51,125 --> 01:16:53,208 Shit, shit, shit! 1538 01:16:53,292 --> 01:16:54,500 I don't know how this works! What do I do? 1539 01:16:54,583 --> 01:16:56,000 -Just break 'em. -Shit! 1540 01:16:56,083 --> 01:16:58,458 Fucking destroy it! 1541 01:16:58,542 --> 01:17:00,833 Jack, Jack, Jack. 1542 01:17:00,917 --> 01:17:03,292 Give it up. 1543 01:17:03,375 --> 01:17:05,500 There's nothing you can do. 1544 01:17:05,583 --> 01:17:08,458 -You can't stop this. -I can't? 1545 01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:10,083 No. 1546 01:17:11,083 --> 01:17:12,833 Except I can. 1547 01:17:14,333 --> 01:17:15,958 A third-party charger? 1548 01:17:17,042 --> 01:17:19,333 Wait! Damn it! Damn it! 1549 01:17:19,417 --> 01:17:21,042 Unhand me! Wait! 1550 01:17:21,125 --> 01:17:22,750 Jack! Look! 1551 01:17:25,792 --> 01:17:28,000 I've still got your phone. 1552 01:17:28,875 --> 01:17:31,708 I press "send," and that's it. You're transferred to Gralk Hall. 1553 01:17:32,417 --> 01:17:36,250 So, before you fry those phones, let's make a deal. 1554 01:17:37,417 --> 01:17:39,417 You give me that, I'll give you this. 1555 01:17:41,125 --> 01:17:42,542 And that'll be that. 1556 01:17:43,250 --> 01:17:45,667 Plus, I'll sweeten it. 1557 01:17:46,583 --> 01:17:48,792 And I'll make you an RA. 1558 01:17:49,333 --> 01:17:50,542 Huh? 1559 01:17:52,333 --> 01:17:54,333 Why the fuck would I want that? 1560 01:17:55,917 --> 01:17:57,542 Because, Jack... 1561 01:17:59,708 --> 01:18:01,125 you know the truth. 1562 01:18:02,292 --> 01:18:06,042 No one at this school is ever going to forgive you 1563 01:18:06,125 --> 01:18:08,917 for what you did to the football team. 1564 01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:11,000 But you know what's better than being liked? 1565 01:18:12,833 --> 01:18:14,458 Being feared. 1566 01:18:15,792 --> 01:18:17,417 Power, Jack. 1567 01:18:18,167 --> 01:18:22,667 No one will ever bully you again. 1568 01:18:22,750 --> 01:18:24,958 Are you really gonna turn that down? 1569 01:18:25,708 --> 01:18:30,042 To save a bunch of people who hate your guts? 1570 01:18:30,708 --> 01:18:33,917 Your own roommate was ditching you. 1571 01:18:34,958 --> 01:18:40,583 Save him, and you'll rot in Gralk Hall. 1572 01:18:40,667 --> 01:18:41,667 Or... 1573 01:18:42,708 --> 01:18:44,542 with me on your side... 1574 01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:48,625 you can finally rule this school. 1575 01:18:54,417 --> 01:18:56,250 It's okay. 1576 01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:03,417 Montgomery... 1577 01:19:04,667 --> 01:19:06,333 I'm sorry. 1578 01:19:06,417 --> 01:19:09,625 -Looks like I'll be shipping out. -What? 1579 01:19:09,708 --> 01:19:13,042 So, next year, I want you to find the best new roommate. 1580 01:19:13,125 --> 01:19:15,208 -Jack. -Find someone who's gonna listen to you. 1581 01:19:15,292 --> 01:19:16,625 -Jack, no. -Jack? 1582 01:19:16,708 --> 01:19:19,417 -You don't have to do this. -I want you to tell that roommate 1583 01:19:19,500 --> 01:19:21,250 to treat you good. 1584 01:19:21,333 --> 01:19:22,708 Jack, we could come up with something else. 1585 01:19:22,792 --> 01:19:24,958 You tell them to do all that boring bullshit that you like, 1586 01:19:25,042 --> 01:19:27,208 - like the puzzles or-or that game... - Come on. 1587 01:19:27,292 --> 01:19:29,000 ...where y-you try to guess my favorite bird. 1588 01:19:29,083 --> 01:19:30,625 -E-Eagle? -It's not eagle. 1589 01:19:30,708 --> 01:19:33,083 -Quit guessing eagle. -I don't want this, Jack. 1590 01:19:33,167 --> 01:19:34,375 This is the only way. 1591 01:19:34,458 --> 01:19:35,458 -No! -Jack. 1592 01:19:35,542 --> 01:19:37,917 You changed my mind, Jack! I wanna room with you! 1593 01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:39,625 What you want isn't what you need, man! 1594 01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:40,958 -Jack! -I need you! 1595 01:19:41,042 --> 01:19:42,208 -I love you, Montgomery! -Jack! 1596 01:19:42,292 --> 01:19:44,583 -I love you, Jack! -I love you so much, 1597 01:19:44,667 --> 01:19:46,833 -and I don't tell you enough! -Jack, the deal! 1598 01:19:46,917 --> 01:19:48,375 The deal. 1599 01:19:48,458 --> 01:19:51,458 Come on... Be smart, Jack. 1600 01:19:52,167 --> 01:19:55,500 You have to think about yourself, okay? 1601 01:19:55,583 --> 01:19:58,000 No. 1602 01:20:01,042 --> 01:20:03,667 I need to think about other people's dicks. 1603 01:20:03,750 --> 01:20:05,042 What? 1604 01:20:05,125 --> 01:20:06,417 Nooo! 1605 01:20:17,750 --> 01:20:19,958 Goddammit! 1606 01:20:20,042 --> 01:20:22,083 You idiot! 1607 01:20:22,167 --> 01:20:23,625 Enjoy Gralk Hall! 1608 01:20:27,583 --> 01:20:29,583 Oh, Blake? 1609 01:20:31,208 --> 01:20:32,833 You forgot one thing. 1610 01:20:33,833 --> 01:20:36,250 I'm Lizzy the Magnificent, bitch. 1611 01:20:37,542 --> 01:20:40,375 -Oh-ho-ho! Ohh! -Oh, my gosh! How did she do that? 1612 01:20:40,458 --> 01:20:41,958 - I don't know! - That was incredible! 1613 01:20:42,042 --> 01:20:44,500 Oh, fuck this! 1614 01:20:44,583 --> 01:20:46,083 Oh, shit. 1615 01:20:46,167 --> 01:20:49,000 Well... time to beat you to death with a pipe! 1616 01:20:49,083 --> 01:20:51,500 -That doesn't scan either. -Shut the fuck up! 1617 01:20:52,667 --> 01:20:54,667 Which one of you's first, huh? 1618 01:20:54,750 --> 01:20:55,958 Which one? 1619 01:20:59,500 --> 01:21:00,917 Remember me? 1620 01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:02,708 Lysander! 1621 01:21:02,792 --> 01:21:04,458 You crushed my wings. 1622 01:21:04,542 --> 01:21:08,042 You squashed my body. You left me for dead. 1623 01:21:08,125 --> 01:21:10,625 - Get away! - But you didn't finish the job. 1624 01:21:10,708 --> 01:21:12,542 Get away from me! Get away from me! 1625 01:21:12,625 --> 01:21:15,042 From the depths of the dormitory vents, 1626 01:21:15,125 --> 01:21:16,667 - I have returned. - Fuck! 1627 01:21:16,750 --> 01:21:18,458 Fuck you, butterfly! 1628 01:21:18,542 --> 01:21:20,208 Go get him, Lysander! 1629 01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:23,250 My name is Lysander Featherhelm, 1630 01:21:23,333 --> 01:21:25,292 Lord of the Syracuse Meadows. 1631 01:21:26,458 --> 01:21:28,625 I serve the one God Montgomery, 1632 01:21:28,708 --> 01:21:32,375 and I shall have my vengeance! 1633 01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:35,375 Scorpion kick! 1634 01:21:35,458 --> 01:21:39,500 Nooo! 1635 01:21:42,792 --> 01:21:45,125 ♪ When our hope sailed from a thousand dreams ♪ 1636 01:21:45,208 --> 01:21:49,625 ♪ We will carry on, ahh ♪ 1637 01:21:49,708 --> 01:21:52,500 Victory, the sweetest nectar. 1638 01:21:52,583 --> 01:21:54,000 Monty, I'll see you at home. 1639 01:21:54,083 --> 01:21:56,708 Oh, shit! I, I got you, bud. 1640 01:22:02,583 --> 01:22:04,583 Oh, shit. 1641 01:22:05,917 --> 01:22:07,750 Thanks. 1642 01:22:07,833 --> 01:22:10,042 Sure. I owed you one. 1643 01:22:11,583 --> 01:22:14,417 Well, guys, we did it. We defeated the RAs. 1644 01:22:14,500 --> 01:22:17,000 We ate the pizza. Oh, wait. 1645 01:22:17,958 --> 01:22:21,167 What's happening? 1646 01:22:23,542 --> 01:22:25,125 What is that? 1647 01:22:25,208 --> 01:22:27,333 Oh, my God. It's him. 1648 01:22:28,458 --> 01:22:29,792 The Rat King. 1649 01:22:52,458 --> 01:22:55,250 Hi, Lizzy. Remember me? 1650 01:22:55,333 --> 01:22:57,208 This fucking cunt. 1651 01:23:11,042 --> 01:23:12,667 I'm sorry, who are you? 1652 01:23:12,750 --> 01:23:14,667 I'm you, Jack. 1653 01:23:14,750 --> 01:23:16,958 The you you're scared you'll become. 1654 01:23:17,042 --> 01:23:20,500 Boring, sober, obsessed with my bird feeder. 1655 01:23:20,583 --> 01:23:21,750 I also review 1656 01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:23,333 sparkling water brands on YouTube. 1657 01:23:23,417 --> 01:23:24,542 Oh, my fucking God. 1658 01:23:24,625 --> 01:23:25,875 What's wrong with that? 1659 01:23:25,958 --> 01:23:27,167 That honestly sounds nice. 1660 01:23:27,250 --> 01:23:28,417 Fuck off! 1661 01:23:39,083 --> 01:23:40,083 Run! 1662 01:23:44,958 --> 01:23:47,042 - Shit! - What do we do? 1663 01:23:53,333 --> 01:23:55,875 Time to float like graceful falcons. 1664 01:23:55,958 --> 01:23:58,375 They tried to censor us, 1665 01:23:58,458 --> 01:24:00,042 but we will not be silenced! 1666 01:24:48,708 --> 01:24:51,708 Thank you, and good night! 1667 01:24:51,792 --> 01:24:54,000 Why did we think that would work? 1668 01:24:54,083 --> 01:24:56,583 Fuck off, that was fun. 1669 01:24:56,667 --> 01:24:58,625 There are so many condoms in here. 1670 01:25:00,250 --> 01:25:02,458 I landed on the condom. 1671 01:25:02,542 --> 01:25:04,708 Hey, make a wish. 1672 01:25:04,792 --> 01:25:07,167 I wish I didn't land on the condom. 1673 01:25:09,083 --> 01:25:11,583 Well, look on the bright side, guys. 1674 01:25:11,667 --> 01:25:12,833 At least we got away from the nightmare-- 1675 01:25:18,833 --> 01:25:20,833 Montgomery! 1676 01:25:22,167 --> 01:25:23,542 Let's go! 1677 01:25:31,292 --> 01:25:32,875 I wrote a complaint letter to Microsoft 1678 01:25:32,958 --> 01:25:34,917 after they discontinued my favorite font. 1679 01:25:35,000 --> 01:25:36,708 God, no! 1680 01:25:36,792 --> 01:25:39,000 -Oh, fuck! -Come on! Come on! 1681 01:25:51,292 --> 01:25:52,917 Well, well, well. 1682 01:25:54,500 --> 01:25:56,500 Hello again, dickheads. 1683 01:25:56,583 --> 01:25:58,000 How are you not dead? 1684 01:25:58,708 --> 01:26:01,958 You thought you could kill me? 1685 01:26:02,042 --> 01:26:04,500 -Get off the box! -Get the fuck off the box! 1686 01:26:04,583 --> 01:26:07,750 It's gonna take a lot more than that to get rid of Blake! 1687 01:26:11,083 --> 01:26:12,292 - Grab him! - Pull him down! 1688 01:26:12,375 --> 01:26:14,292 Fuck! 1689 01:26:14,375 --> 01:26:16,667 Open wide! 1690 01:26:17,917 --> 01:26:19,333 Happy sailing! 1691 01:26:21,500 --> 01:26:24,208 Do not take more than a single dose. 1692 01:26:24,292 --> 01:26:28,917 If you do, you will see the true horrible nature of reality. 1693 01:26:34,667 --> 01:26:36,750 I just think my biggest concern right now 1694 01:26:36,833 --> 01:26:39,458 is how little of this makes any sense at all. 1695 01:26:39,542 --> 01:26:42,292 - Like what? - What do you mean, "Like what?" 1696 01:26:42,375 --> 01:26:44,708 Like, okay, for example, how many college freshmen do you know 1697 01:26:44,792 --> 01:26:46,292 that own a pet butterfly? 1698 01:26:46,375 --> 01:26:48,375 That's what you find unbelievable? 1699 01:26:48,458 --> 01:26:52,083 We have a scene where the three leads become a Venezuelan man. 1700 01:26:52,167 --> 01:26:53,917 Alright, fine, but we gotta come up 1701 01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:55,583 with a better title than Pizza Movie. 1702 01:26:55,667 --> 01:26:57,667 Well, of course we're not calling it Pizza Movie. 1703 01:26:57,750 --> 01:26:59,750 That's a placeholder. I mean, if we can't beat that, 1704 01:26:59,833 --> 01:27:02,167 -I'm gonna walk into the goddamn ocean. -What the fuck? 1705 01:27:03,250 --> 01:27:05,583 Oh God, one of the actors is here. 1706 01:27:05,667 --> 01:27:08,083 Hey, man, could you just give us, like, 10 minutes, please? Thanks. 1707 01:27:09,708 --> 01:27:12,208 Oh, so listen, I told my grandfather he could have a part. 1708 01:27:12,292 --> 01:27:13,500 Is that okay? 1709 01:27:14,583 --> 01:27:15,583 No. 1710 01:27:19,417 --> 01:27:21,833 W-W-We're in a movie? 1711 01:27:23,292 --> 01:27:25,917 We're in a low-budget movie. 1712 01:27:27,250 --> 01:27:30,250 My character's not written with any nuance at all. 1713 01:27:31,250 --> 01:27:32,667 I'm a caricature. 1714 01:27:34,583 --> 01:27:38,000 I, like, only deliver exposition. 1715 01:27:38,667 --> 01:27:40,583 What the fuck was that? 1716 01:28:17,208 --> 01:28:20,042 Montgomery. 1717 01:28:25,333 --> 01:28:28,958 Were you satisfied with your fucking order? 1718 01:28:29,042 --> 01:28:30,667 Yes, Snackatron. 1719 01:28:32,458 --> 01:28:33,667 Yes, we were. 1720 01:28:36,708 --> 01:28:39,208 Thank you for ordering from... 1721 01:28:39,292 --> 01:28:41,125 Ahh, finally alone. 1722 01:28:41,208 --> 01:28:43,500 Time to measure the length of my foreskin. 1723 01:28:43,583 --> 01:28:45,708 Wait, is this robot still recording? 1724 01:28:45,792 --> 01:28:47,417 Goodbye. 1725 01:29:07,833 --> 01:29:10,458 Tell my story! 1726 01:29:13,500 --> 01:29:14,917 Lizzy! 1727 01:29:16,458 --> 01:29:19,458 Lizzy! Let's go! 1728 01:29:20,458 --> 01:29:22,458 Montgomery! Over here. 1729 01:29:22,542 --> 01:29:25,708 - Hey, thanks for the gig. - Thank you. 1730 01:29:25,792 --> 01:29:28,000 You ready? Let's get this night going. 1731 01:29:28,083 --> 01:29:30,708 I'm about to honk that horn like you won't believe. 1732 01:29:30,792 --> 01:29:33,625 Oh, my God, I feel so alive after performing. 1733 01:29:33,708 --> 01:29:36,917 Yeah, I, I can imagine with the electric torture. 1734 01:29:37,000 --> 01:29:38,000 Yeah. 1735 01:29:39,083 --> 01:29:42,083 Anyway, um, I was wondering 1736 01:29:42,167 --> 01:29:46,167 if maybe you wanted to go out sometime? 1737 01:29:50,167 --> 01:29:53,375 Lizzy, you gonna give the driver your friggin' credit card? 1738 01:29:53,458 --> 01:29:54,500 What's up? 1739 01:29:55,417 --> 01:29:56,417 Montgomery? 1740 01:29:58,750 --> 01:30:00,750 -Montgomery? -No, thank you. 1741 01:30:01,667 --> 01:30:03,292 -No? -No. 1742 01:30:04,333 --> 01:30:07,250 I do not think we are a good match. 1743 01:30:08,208 --> 01:30:09,417 Why? 1744 01:30:09,500 --> 01:30:10,958 You scare the shit out of me. 1745 01:30:12,208 --> 01:30:14,333 But hey, good, good luck on the music. 1746 01:30:14,417 --> 01:30:16,208 You're... killer. 1747 01:30:16,292 --> 01:30:18,208 Killer. Good luck. 1748 01:30:18,292 --> 01:30:19,500 Lizzy! 1749 01:30:19,583 --> 01:30:22,458 Stop thinking pensively and get your freaking credit card out 1750 01:30:22,542 --> 01:30:23,917 and give it to the-- 1751 01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:25,458 - Oh! - Ooh! 1752 01:30:25,542 --> 01:30:27,958 - Oh! - Oh, my God, Logan. 1753 01:30:28,042 --> 01:30:29,333 Have fun. 1754 01:30:29,417 --> 01:30:31,333 Are you dead? 1755 01:30:44,833 --> 01:30:46,833 Hey, freak-ass face! 1756 01:30:57,875 --> 01:31:01,875 -What time is it? -It's gotta be 5 a.m. 1757 01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:03,708 It's only 8:30! 1758 01:31:03,792 --> 01:31:06,417 All that only took 45 minutes? 1759 01:31:06,500 --> 01:31:08,250 You guys wanna do something? 1760 01:31:10,750 --> 01:31:12,375 Wanna finish our game? 1761 01:31:13,458 --> 01:31:14,667 I'm down. 1762 01:31:14,750 --> 01:31:15,958 Me too. 1763 01:31:21,625 --> 01:31:22,833 And I... 1764 01:31:24,750 --> 01:31:26,667 am also down. 1765 01:31:27,375 --> 01:31:29,125 Oh, man. 1766 01:31:29,208 --> 01:31:32,750 College is awesome. I love being 19. 1767 01:31:32,833 --> 01:31:34,458 Grandpa, don't look at the camera. 1768 01:31:34,542 --> 01:31:37,375 - Don't talk to me that way. - Dude, this isn't working. 1769 01:31:37,458 --> 01:31:38,667 - Let's cut him. - Fine. 1770 01:31:42,542 --> 01:31:45,167 Alright, should we start from scratch or pick up where we left off? 1771 01:31:45,250 --> 01:31:46,583 -Let's do it from scratch. -Yeah? 1772 01:31:46,667 --> 01:31:48,667 -We got it. -Okay, cool then. 1773 01:33:24,000 --> 01:33:25,708 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1774 01:33:25,792 --> 01:33:27,625 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1775 01:33:27,708 --> 01:33:29,458 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1776 01:33:29,542 --> 01:33:31,292 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 1777 01:33:31,375 --> 01:33:33,125 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1778 01:33:33,208 --> 01:33:35,000 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1779 01:33:35,083 --> 01:33:36,833 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1780 01:33:36,917 --> 01:33:38,667 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 1781 01:33:38,750 --> 01:33:42,333 ♪ Happy, nice, happy, nice, happy, happy, happy, nice ♪ 1782 01:33:42,417 --> 01:33:46,083 ♪ Happy, nice, happy, nice, happy, happy, happy ♪ 1783 01:33:46,167 --> 01:33:47,875 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1784 01:33:47,958 --> 01:33:49,750 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1785 01:33:49,833 --> 01:33:51,625 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1786 01:33:51,708 --> 01:33:53,458 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 1787 01:33:53,542 --> 01:33:55,292 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1788 01:33:55,375 --> 01:33:57,125 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1789 01:33:57,208 --> 01:33:58,917 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1790 01:33:59,000 --> 01:34:01,708 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 1791 01:34:02,625 --> 01:34:04,125 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1792 01:34:04,208 --> 01:34:05,708 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1793 01:34:05,792 --> 01:34:07,250 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1794 01:34:07,333 --> 01:34:08,833 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 1795 01:34:08,917 --> 01:34:10,458 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1796 01:34:10,542 --> 01:34:12,083 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1797 01:34:12,167 --> 01:34:13,708 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1798 01:34:13,792 --> 01:34:15,792 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 1799 01:34:17,000 --> 01:34:19,875 ♪ Happy, happy, nice, nice, happy, nice, happy, nice ♪ 1800 01:34:19,958 --> 01:34:22,667 ♪ Happy, happy, nice, nice, happy, nice, happy ♪ 1801 01:34:22,750 --> 01:34:24,042 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1802 01:34:24,125 --> 01:34:25,458 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1803 01:34:25,542 --> 01:34:26,875 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1804 01:34:26,958 --> 01:34:28,958 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 1805 01:34:30,958 --> 01:34:32,083 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1806 01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:33,458 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1807 01:34:33,542 --> 01:34:34,667 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1808 01:34:34,750 --> 01:34:36,000 ♪ No one's gonna die today ♪ 1809 01:34:36,083 --> 01:34:37,125 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1810 01:34:37,208 --> 01:34:38,458 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1811 01:34:38,542 --> 01:34:39,750 ♪ Everything's happy, everything's nice ♪ 1812 01:34:39,833 --> 01:34:42,208 ♪ No one's gonna die today, someone's gonna die today ♪ 1813 01:34:42,292 --> 01:34:48,292 ♪ We're all gonna die todaaay ♪ 133118