Original subtitles

[Nadia] Previously on "American Classic"...

Real rain, I see a horse,

I see a working soda fountain.

Who's paying for this?

How much would it cost to get her into the show?

You know, remember, you're a real person.

I'm a happy American woman, lady, girl.

I decided to put my own money into the production.

- What? - You have no money.

Big problems require big solutions.

[Nadia] To build a casino.

No, no! Casi-no! No, no! Casi-no!

- Mom wants me to go to Penn. - What do you want?

- I'm going to New York. - No, you are not.

And you betrayed the Circle of Truth.

[Randall] You're betraying me with Mr. Actor Man.

[Miranda] Nothing is going on with Heath.

So we're gonna drive down to Atlantic City tomorrow.

- [Jon] I'm in. - You hit a hot streak.

Then you lost and you lost.

[Jon] Lost? Like what?

[Mel] I couldn't keep track.

You can't act. You can't act.

- So fire me, then. - I can't fire you.

Because then you lose rain and the fountain of soda.

Nad- Nadia!

[mischievous music]

Suddenly, I just blurted it out.

No, you- you didn't tell her the truth.

- Oh, Richard. - I believe I did.

Did you specifically impugn her talent?

I think I might have.

Yeah. So, I, uh-

I told her she couldn't act.

[Miranda] Uncle!

Hi, Miranda!

Mr. Bean, how are you?

Now, of course, Nadia will tell Boyle.

Boyle will pull the plug.

All this will disappear.

And I will have broken Miranda's heart.

[Mr. Pat] This is- No. What are you-?

No, no, no, no, no.

What I'm saying is playing Mr. and Mrs. Webb

has made me realize what marriage is all about.

- Sameness. - Oh, come on.

[Mr. Pat] No, no, wait, wait. No, no, no.

That's- that's too negative. Predictability?

How was that any different than sameness?

[Mr. Pat] No-

I miss having someone to watch TV with

at the end of the night.

Yes, like having somebody there

to call 911 if I have a heart attack

or to iron my pants.

That's romantic.

Oh, my God! This is why I live with a woman.

And then I don't have to use an app to, you know,

hook up like the young kids do.

Or, pardon my French, to have sex.

We haven't had sex in three years.

- Whoo! - [laughing]

I'm so sorry. Is that even possible?

[Mr. Pat] What about last Easter?

This is the Circle of Truth, Pat.

I don't know what that was last Easter,

but it wasn't sex.

- Oh! - [laughing]

I have something I want to share,

but, oh-

boy, this is tougher than I thought it would be.

You are gay. We are knowing this from before.

We are not to care.

Pardon me, being senior

but I got to say something.

You are wanting truth, Richard Bean?

You are wanting real person?

Okay...

I'm giving you real person.

What is real?

Is that we are all made of the sadness

and that is what life is.

So what if I live alone in basement

and Novosibirsk for three years?

So what if there is no mother?

So what if my only choice is to be watching Richard Bean

in "Hoist" on 13-inch television set?

Look, we all have the problems.

Being a person...

is a hard thing.

So we stopped crying about it.

We make some arts.

This is a play about these happy Americans.

I am not this happy American.

I'm only me.

I'm only...

me.

[applause]

I have an idea.

[applause continues]

No, Edna, I cannot create a curfew for cats.

They're nocturnal, so-

Your daughter has turned me into a frigging cartoon!

Look at that shite!

Can you hold-? I've got to call you back, Edna.

I'm so sorry. Okay, bye-bye.

[fart noises]

- What? What is that? - [door closes]

[Boyle] My arse!

[Kristen] Oh!

Oh, I thought it was some sort of weird potato

but I see it now. Uh-huh. - [fart noises continue]

[Boyle] I- I'm trying to save this town.

Holy mother of God, I thought you were with me.

No, I am with you. I am so-

Connor, I am so with you.

I mean, these are- but these are just kids.

Maybe- maybe some adults.

But, you know, like I said, they're just-

they're expressing their opinion.

And, you know, good for them. It's their right.

Yeah, well, you're gonna have to make them stop.

You know, I do not have to remind you

that the casino vote is about four days away.

No, I am very aware.

These- these fancy videos,

they- they can sway people.

I mean, how would you feel it was your own daughter

that was the cause of this whole project going arseways?

Well, I'm- I'm not quite sure what that means.

But listen, my daughter is her own person.

She is strong-willed-

Do I have to remind you, right,

of all the shite that I've tried to help you with?

- No, you don't. - You know, the- the library,

the rec center and, and the frigging organic

frigging community garden!

I know, I know and I will-

I will see what- what I can do.

Yes, that's right.

You do that.

And I wish I had money coming out of me arse!

[door slams]

Me too.

[footsteps approaching]

- Nadia! - Richard Bean.

I'm glad you came back.

I- I- I want to apologize to you.

I- I failed you.

I failed to help you, I failed because I-

I didn't see you clearly.

You are saying this only now

because you want to save the Richard Bean show.

You are a weasel and a coward.

Good day.

A weasel? Uh, yes, yes.

And a coward, definitely.

And yes, I do wanna do this show.

And I'd like you to play...

Simon Stimson.

[Nadia] Hmm...

You want me to play the man

who does his suicide?

Exactly.

I am thinking...

in the basement,

sometimes of ending all things.

That's great.

That you wanted to kill yourself.

That's fantastic.

I- no, I mean, not in the obviously

in the general mental health sense.

I'm talking about for- for the role

you- you understand him,

you understand those feelings,

You have him inside you.

The Gibbs has many more lines.

Yes, but...

Stimson... has darkness.

I will do it.

Thank you.

Vegetarian Thai Curry with lemongrass

and fresh ginger for you.

Shrimp dumplings with saffron shallot sauce for you.

Wow, Dad, what's the occasion?

No occasion, I just...

love you both very much.

Everything I do is for you,

You know, even when I make mistakes,

it's probably because I'm trying to make things better.

Just speaking hypothetically.

Okay.

I've been thinking about our discussion yesterday about Penn.

- You mean our fight? - Just listen.

How would you feel...

about a year in New York to do whatever you wanted?

School, no school, acting, waiting tables.

All of the above. You choose.

Wait. What-? What's happening?

She loves New York.

I mean, maybe she should take a gap year after all.

That's a fantastic idea. I- I love that.

Mom...

[Miranda] That would be amazing. Thank you.

- Hm. - Really, thank you.

And I was hoping

you would be open to toning down the casino protests.

I'm sorry. What?

The vote's four days away.

I think everyone's gotten the message.

Are you bribing me right now?

- Bribing you? - Yes.

- Bribing? - You're bribing me.

My own mother is bribing me.

Miranda, Connor Boyle is actually-

He's trying to help this town.

You don't even see it.

You're so underwater with it all

because you took a fucking loan with the guy.

- Honey, honey. - What?

Dad, please tell me you're not voting pro casino on Friday.

- What? Well, you know- - I can't believe you.

It's a complicated issue, honey.

- No, it's not. - It's not black and white.

You know what you both are?

- Sellouts. - Honey, honey, eh-

[door closes]

Is there wine?

You know how it is.

You're 21, 22,

you start making decisions and...

phssht!

You're 70.

70.

No, that's not right.

I'm almost 90, for Christ's sake.

You've been an actor for 50 years.

You've been a lawyer for 50 years.

I'm not a lawyer, I'm an actor.

What is he saying?

I know the line.

Uh-

And the white-haired lady- [stammering]

I am off-book.

I knew everything this morning.

Ah, blast it.

Dad, you wanna take a break?

No, no, I know the line.

I know the line.

She keeps beating it out of my head.

Who?

Look, I know that she's your mother.

I know that she's only trying to help.

But I have to insist on a closed rehearsal.

[melancholic music]

Jesus Christ.

I'm sorry. Uh-

[Richard] It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay, Dad.

I- I feel her, too.

Could I have five minutes?

I need to talk to my director.

I don't see how I can do this play without you.

I can't remember the lines.

Yeah. You know the whole play.

You know everybody's lines.

All right, then. But I don't know who I am,

where I am, who I'm talking to.

I can't even remember that my beloved wife is dead.

Dad, you can't give up now.

I could probably do something smaller.

Like Howie Newsome, the milk man.

I get along really well with the horse.

- Yeah. - I can't carry the piece.

So I need you to replace me as the Stage Manager.

Dad, I-

I have trouble remembering my lines these days.

I've- The truth is, I'm-

feeling a bit old myself.

You're not old, son.

You're scared.

There's a difference.

[snoring]

[whispering] Hey, he's asleep.

Let's go outside.

Oh, would you run lines with me?

It appears that I'm taking over the part of the Stage Manager.

I'm not surprised. I didn't think he'd be up to it.

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm up to it.

[Miranda] You stop.

You'll be incredible.

And we'll be on stage together.

You know that scene in Act 3

when Emily goes back to the past?

Of course. That's the heart of the play.

Let's start there.

First, I wanted to ask you, um,

it would mean a lot if Richard being a famous actor

made a statement at the vote this week.

Uh, a statement of protest, I'm assuming?

Do you want a casino in Millersburg?

[sighs]

When you are young,

it's easy to see things as black or white,

but in fact, there's- there's a lot of gray.

Like my hair.

I mean, you can't see it, but anyway-

Well, look at me, I'm a famous actor,

highly regarded, highly acclaimed, highly awarded.

I'm a force in the American theatre.

On the other hand, I'm insecure,

I don't have many... real friends,

I drink too much, and I'm unpartnered.

What does this have to do with the casino?

Well, I'm just trying to point out

that I'm a very complex person.

And that you're complex, life is complex.

The casino complex is... complex.

Okay.

Remind me never to get old.

Why?

Just feel like when people get old,

they start forgetting everything they care about.

They get selfish and careful and boring and...

If that's what being an adult is,

I don't want any part of it.

[chuckles]

- What? - No, nothing.

I'm just thinking what a perfect Emily you're going to be.

[soft music]

[woman] I think he just want to do the aisle.

We can start there.

[man] Right. You, uh, check the water pressure?

- Morning, everyone. - Ah, morning.

Looks very good.

Very good indeed.

Yes, keep up the good work.

One week until we open.

- [woman] Morning, Mr. Bean. - Good morning.

Well, this is very nice, very nice.

Can I just say I loved you in "Hoist"?

Oh, I- I love your very tight brush strokes.

- Good morning, Richard. - Yeah.

I know you want to start with Pat and Pat,

but they're not here yet.

We've been doing warm-up with the cast

for the last 40 minutes.

Doctor Derek is treating Kenny for cramps.

[Richard] Oh, dear God.

Good morning, everyone.

- Mr. Bean! - Oh, good morning.

I want to officially welcome our new Mrs. Gibbs.

Thank you for joining us, Tina.

Thank you for having me.

- Amazing. - Thank you.

All right, um, well, um,

I'd like to start with the Emily and George scene

in the soda shop.

I'm afraid that Heath is also missing.

- What? - Yeah.

- [Miranda] Uh, always late. - But-

Miranda, have you seen Heath?

I haven't seen him since yesterday.

[door opens]

[Mr. Pat] Richard, she's gone,

My Pat.

[breathing heavily]

She's gone.

Gone?

Ooh, that kind of gone.

As in she left you a note?

No.

She left you a note.

"Dear Richard,

"acting in your 'Our Town'

has changed my life..."

I- I can't.

"I was sleepwalking through my marriage.

"The players made me see how little time we have

"and what a sin it is to waste it.

"It is up to us to find our happiness.

"It breaks both our hearts to leave the show

but to say no to life has become impossible."

There it is, the power of art

to change our lives.

How-?

And it can be very painful. I'm sorry, Pat.

Why does it say "both"?

She left with Heath.

[groaning]

She ran off to have sex in his alcove studio in Brooklyn.

It's all this theater stuff.

It's put all these airy, fairy thoughts in her head.

Art, freedom...

sex.

You see what it's done?

I quit.

[exclaiming]

I quit this whole fucking lifestyle.

I quit this whole motherfucking MFT.

[Richard] Pat, Pat!

It'll never last.

It's a- it's an alcove studio.

[murmuring]

Well, great.

We open in a week.

We don't have a George.

We don't have a Mr. or Mrs. Webb.

- Uh... - I have to think.

Would you- would you tell them all to just go?

Yeah. Um, hey, guys, rehearsal is cancelled today.

Does this mean we don't get to do the play anymore?

Nothing definitive.

I'll let you know about tomorrow morning, okay? I promise.

[actors murmuring]

[groans]

[chattering]

[Tina] Come on, let's go.

I overreacted.

You wanna hang out?

[Miranda] Yeah, sure.

Uh, Mirandall.

Could you stay for a few minutes?

I- I need to speak with both of you.

Sorry about what's-this-douche.

It's okay.

He was kind of awful.

He'd like, mouthed my lines at me while I said them.

- I saw that. - Yeah. [chuckles]

You're gonna be a great George, Randall.

Does anyone need me for anything?

No, Dad, we're good.

We're good, in fact...

Hugo, can you take dad home?

Yeah, happy to.

[Randall] Hey, you wanna try again?

[Miranda] Okay.

Emily, why are you mad at me?

I'm not mad at you.

You've been treating me so...

funny lately.

[Miranda] Well, since you asked me,

I might as well say it right out.

- George- - Wait. What-?

What happens before this?

[Miranda] They are gonna have this whole interaction

because I'm unhappy with the change that's come over you,

and then we're gonna talk about it.

[Randall] It's going well, huh?

[Miranda] Mm-hm.

Everything okay?

Oh, yeah, fine.

Fine. I- I just-

Remembering when I did this scene with your mom.

[chopping food]

Oh, hey, what's up?

[Richard] I was watching Miranda and Randall rehearsing

and I just started thinking about this place.

You know what we had, what we were, who we were.

What we made here.

Listen, I need you...

to step into the role of Mr. Webb.

Oh...

I'm dealing with a bunch of stuff right now and I-

It's not a good time.

You were born to play that part. It will fit you like a glove.

He's- he's- he's a good man like you.

He's fine, upstanding, steady

and reliable and dependable.

I lost Miranda's college fund at a casino.

You what?

I was winning. I mean, I was up.

I was way up.

And then I wasn't.

I just-

I feel so ashamed.

Since when do you have a gambling problem?

I don't. It's a freak thing.

When I went to the casino with Boyle.

And once, once in Vegas, I lost $12,000.

But I made it back before Kristen woke up,

so that doesn't count.

And, you know, if you're gonna be picky about it,

in college, I-

remember when I said I- I wrecked the Acura?

I lost it in a poker game.

But every college kid loses cars in poker games, right?

Uh, not to my knowledge. No.

Shit. Maybe I do. Shit.

This time I was trying to win money for Miranda, you know?

I was trying to make things better for everybody.

Have you told Kristen yet?

No, no, no.

It's killing me.

But Kristen, she's so-

She's so stressed right now.

This is the last thing she needs to hear.

Hm.

There's only one solution.

You have to play Mr. Webb.

No, you do.

He's a good man.

So are you.

It'll be therapeutic.

I couldn't do that-

that Circle of Truth thing.

You- you- you don't- I couldn't do that.

I can't do it either.

- [chuckles] - Forget about it. Yeah.

And I'm thinking of offering Mrs. Webb to Kristen.

Oh, yeah? That's not gonna happen.

Oh, I wouldn't bet on it.

- Really? Really? - Sorry.

- Sorry. Hm. - Really?

Cue one. Go.

[Miranda whispering] Okay, here we go.

[uplifting soft music]

- Wow! - [Richard] Yes, good, good.

Where's- There's the morning light.

Excellent.

- Whoo! - [cheering]

Whoo!

[Richard] Yes, yes, Daddy.

Look at what you have done, darling.

- Darling, it's magnificent. - What we've done.

Just you- you and me. And Schicklgruber.

Good old Shicklgruber.

- Yeah, look at that! - Yeah.

Quite a spectacle you got going on here.

How much does something like this cost?

Wait, don't tell me.

You can't put a price on genius, right?

- Hey, Jon. - Hello.

Mop up the floor and we'll do it again.

- Okay. - Come over here.

Much better from this angle.

[Boyle] Real frigging rain.

[chuckles]

Yeah, I'm surprised to see Mr. Pat here.

[Boyle] Oh, I gave him some accounting work.

A bright man, you know? A good fella.

Not your biggest fan.

I mean, what the hell? You dream big.

You're gonna make enemies, right?

[laughing]

You've done a really bang up job here, mate.

It is exactly what you said it was gonna be, you know?

We're a good team, you and me, you know?

And I've been thinking about

the new theater at the casino

and I'm seeing a naming opportunity.

The Richard Bean Memorial Theater.

What do you think?

Well, it's very generous of you, but it- it does [clears throat]

sort of imply that I'm dead.

Well, you know, call it whatever you want, you know?

You do what you need to do.

The main thing is...

it's yours.

Now, listen, I've got to go.

Oh, and, uh...

you'll be at the City Council voting tomorrow.

You know, you'll say a few words, won't you?

You know, warm them up a little bit.

It's always good to get the celebrity blessing.

- Yeah. - You think?

Oh, here. Have that. On me.

Enjoy.

Oh! You're too kind.

[mischievous music]

Hm.

Wow. I've never played a mayor.

Well, don't worry, you're still young.

Very funny.

You're here because...

I just want to take a break from rehearsal and...

And I wanted to give you an update on the production.

Yeah, I'm not playing Mrs. Webb,

Jon told me you'd be asking.

I was hoping you'd consider it

for the sake of saving the theater and for the town.

I'm the mayor.

Everything I do is for the town.

Well, then, for art's sake.

[whispering] I mean, the production's gonna be fantastic.

It's gonna have real rain and a horse

and a turn-of-the-century working soda fountain.

And Jon is gonna be Mr. Webb.

And Miranda is gonna be Emily.

And Linus is gonna-

He's not playing the Stage Manager.

He wants to play Howie Newsome.

And so I've assumed the role of the Stage Manager myself.

It'll be the whole family together on the stage.

Except for you.

Well, in case you haven't heard,

I have a casino complex to get approved tomorrow

and I have the Irish Tony Soprano

calling me every time anyone has the slightest objection,

which half the time happens to be my daughter, so-

Please, don't ask me to be a part of your...

happy band of players, because...

I can't.

All right, the real reason I want you to do this

is because the best work I have ever done in my life

has been with you.

When we were on stage together,

you always brought out the best in me

and I in you.

And, well...

I miss that.

Well, thank you.

[pensive music]

Hm.

Must be quite a burden

carrying the fate of an entire town on your shoulders.

I'm trying.

You're obviously good at it.

Richard.

Yes?

Close the door.

[sniffles]

[crowd yelling]

[chanting] No, no, casi-no!

[crowd chanting] No, no, casi-no.

[gavel banging]

[chanting stops]

Thank you.

Hi, everybody,

and thank you for taking the time to be here today.

Today, your elected City Council members will

vote on a building permit for Connor Boyle's proposed

Luck of the Irish casino and entertainment complex

on the site of the Morrison Hotel.

[booing and cheering]

We are not Las Vegas!

Just build the goddamn thing!

[cheering]

[gavel banging]

There are a lot of strong feelings

on both sides of this issue, which is good.

Because it means you care.

- We care about jobs. We do. - Yes.

- [Kristen] Yes. - [cheering]

Yes, we do.

And we all care about the future of Millersburg.

Look, we all know each other here

and I never, in a million years,

thought that I would propose a casino for our town.

I think some of my family

were a little surprised as well.

But, after studying the numbers,

I realized that this might be exactly what our town needs.

- [contradicting exclamations] - Yes.

For starters, the- the added tax revenue

would allow us to keep the library open

for more than three days a week,

and it would we could offer our librarians a working wage.

I mean, we can buy working computers for the high school.

Our town is hurting,

And I believe Connor Boyle's casino

is the solution we've been looking for.

So...

Having said that, I'm gonna pass it over

to Mr. Pat Patterson.

Pat?

Yes.

[cheering]

[clears throat]

Ladies and gentlemen,

some of you here may remember when Millersburg was a town

where you could get married and start a family

and join a bowling league if you were so inclined.

It was safe, comfortable, predictable, and it's gone.

There are things going on at the MFT

that- that- that some people say are artistic,

but they are destroying the very fabric of our town.

I need to ask you to stick to the issue, Pat.

I'm saying it's time for something new.

Conor Boyle's casino complex

isn't just an opportunity, it's a lifeline.

- [cheering] - No.

Put it here, Pat.

Nicely put. Thank you.

I have something to say.

[Old Man] You're just a kid!

Hey, I'm 18 and I have a point of view, so get over it.

- [cheering] - Hi.

Mr. Patterson and the mayor

seem to think that this casino

will be a lifeline for this town.

Well, I think a death line is more accurate.

- [man] Yes! - [cheering]

Yes!

We have been handing out pamphlets

with lots of facts and statistics

about crime rates and falling property values.

The bottom line is this,

casinos kill communities.

[applause]

Wait. No amount of tax revenue

is going to bring back the soul of this town once it's gone.

And that's exactly what's going to happen

if we move forward with this project.

So, please, do the right thing and vote no on casino.

[chanting] No, no, casi-no!

No, no, casi-no! No, no, casi-no!

- No, no, casi-no! - [gavel banging]

[crowd goes quiet]

I'd like to tell you the story of a man,

a good man,

who was lured by the devil

to that particular den of iniquity

known as the out-of-state casino.

The devil plied this man with complimentary cocktails

and all-you-can eat hot wings.

And then he led him over to the roulette table.

The devil whispered in his ear with his hot breath,

"Bet it all...

on the red."

The man gave in to temptation.

Why?

Because he was struggling financially

and he needed a quick fix.

Devil told him all of his problems would be solved

with one spin of the wheel.

So he bet the farm on red and it came up black.

He lost everything.

Now, we've all been tempted by the Devil

at one time or another,

And some of us have given in.

But I urge you all, as citizens of Millersburg,

don't go for the quick fix.

Don't risk the soul of this town,

our town, on one spin of the wheel.

Don't let the devil win.

Not this time.

Thank you.

[applause]

[Kristen] If there are no further speakers,

I would like to proceed.

- Councilman Pinnock? - No.

[cheering]

Yeah, Pinnock.

Friends, I ask that we please remain respectful and quiet

until the vote is complete.

Thank you.

Councilman Davies?

No.

- Councilman Mendel? - Yes.

[cheering]

[Kristen] Councilman Delgado.

Yes.

[Kristen] Councilman Peters.

No.

[Kristen] Councilman Bruce?

[Councilman Bruce] Yes.

[Kristen] The vote stands at three in favor

and three opposed.

Councilman Bean will cast the deciding vote.

No.

[cheering]

[screaming and cheering]

[emotional music]

Say goodbye to your rain, genius.

[cheering]

[mischievous music]

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