All language subtitles for Your.Friends.and.Neighbors.S01E04.1080p.x265-ELiTE_track3_[eng]

Wait!

Elena?

Take it easy. It's me. Coop.

It's not what it looks like.

What it looks like is you're breaking into
the house of the guy who stole your wife.

Is that Nick's gun?

It's mine.

Why do you need a gun?

- Why would Nick?
- Well, can you not point it at me?

You know I'm not gonna hurt you.

I don't know what I know. Five minutes ago
I didn't know you were a thief.

I was just gonna take the ring.

And when Nick notices
his championship ring is missing,

- who do you think he's gonna blame?
- Come on. Nick loves you.

Nick loves watching my ass
when I clean his house.

That's...

fair.

The Sperlings loved Ariana.

They fired her a few days ago.

One of Mr. Sperling's watches
went missing and they blamed her.

That woman practically raised Chelsea.

Was that you?

Sorry about your friend.

Well, you have bigger problems.
Honestly, I never liked her.

In that case, you're welcome.

What, they don't pay you
enough money at the bank?

- It was a hedge fund.
- I don't care.

Your boss fucked my wife.
My boss fucked me out of a job.

Okay. So you lost your job, and your...

your buddy, and your wife.

That's a pretty bad couple of years.

Yeah, well, I'm waiting for you
to tell me just how bad it's gonna get.

- What were you gonna do with that ring?
- I got a guy.

And your guy
would've told you to fuck off.

This is not a Cartier necklace.

A ring like that gets really hot
once it's been reported.

I figured Nick
wouldn't notice for a while.

I think that you just wanted
to take something that he loved.

Like he did to you.

I take it you knew about them.

Before me, I mean.

Let's just say you weren't
the first person to walk in on them.

That's humiliating.

- For them?
- For me.

Like I said, you have bigger problems.

So what are we doing here?

You would've called the cops already
if you were going to. So...

I'm gonna keep your secret.

Thank you. I owe you.

And you're gonna keep mine.

I'm sorry. I don't know your secret.

It's the same as yours.

We're partners now.

Mel.

Hey, Ron.

- Marley.
- How are our perfect grandkids?

Did you hear Tori won her tournament?

We did. We heard all about it.
Congratulations.

We're so proud.

It's remarkable, really,
how resilient she is.

You should come to her next match.

Invite us and we'll come.

I'm sorry.
I assumed your son had invited you.

It's fine. Tori called afterwards
and she sent me a picture.

I told her she could always
come by our place

if she needed a break from all the chaos.

What chaos?

She didn't mean chaos.

Pretty sure she did.

What chaos, Marley?
You know something I don't know?

Well, I'm just
not as close to it as you are.

No, you're not.

I think you forgot to grab the oatmeal.

She didn't mean any of that
the way it sounded.

Oh, yes, she did.

I guess what I meant was
she doesn't mean to be the way she is.

These people are assholes.
There's no getting around that.

But you work in a profession

that attracts and breeds assholes
as a matter of course.

And I know it sucks
having to put on your suit

and go ask guys
beneath your pay grade for a job,

but ultimately,
you and I are in sales, Coop.

We sell ourselves.

You know what they say,
"Trading sucks. Sales swallows."

Is there any way
you could postpone this lecture?

I just ran into Harvey Ratner.

I will pay you to stop talking.

With what?

The Ratners are consolidating their
operations, looking to put in a new CIO.

The Ratners? I'm not dead yet, am I?

I know. It's not ideal.

But right now, more than anything,
we need you back in the game.

I just need to take a beat.

You're already taking a beat.

You can't take a beat from taking a beat.

Well, what are you worried about?
I paid your bill.

Yes, with a brown bag of cash.

And don't think
that isn't keeping me up at night.

I need you back at work, Coop.

You need you back at work.

I think what I need is a little hiatus.

Sure.

Or, and I'm just spitballing here,

maybe that will leave you
well and truly fucked.

Now is not the time for a hiatus.

Now is the time for a solid,
low level panic.

You heard Massey. God only knows
how long this lawsuit will take.

Nice of you to join us.

Sorry, sorry. Jesus.

- Ten after.
- Calm down.

You know the old timers
already beat us to the first tee.

Sorry. I got waylaid
by my fucking contractor.

You know, if the man could
work as fast as he bills me,

we'd have been done months ago.

Our last renovation
almost ended the marriage.

Are you married? I hadn't noticed.

Fuck you.

How far over budget are you?

You mean there's a budget?
Someone should tell my wife.

Grace does have an eye.

Tell me about it.

There it is.

Brad, did I hear
you fired your housekeeper?

I had to. My Richard Mille got stolen.

How do you know she took it?

I don't, for sure. But she
was the only one who had access.

Besides, she was getting
way too comfortable.

It's a good excuse to, you know,
bring in some new blood.

That watch is a serious piece of hardware.

Any chance it might be recovered?

Maybe if the cops gave a shit,
which they don't.

The detective thinks
I just misplaced it like...

like I'm gonna misplace
a quarter of a million dollar watch.

So you told the cops?

Yeah. I needed a police report
for the insurance.

- Nice.
- So you're covered?

Sure, we'll get a fat check,

but it's a limited edition piece.

Irreplaceable.

Lisa has an uncle who works
in the Diamond District

who can probably get it for you
on the gray market.

You can ask her about it
at Mel's birthday thing.

Gordy...

What? Guys, I'm invited. It's fine.

Seriously?

Yes.

You see?

- There you go, Barney.
- There you go.

Hey, do you have a copy
of yesterday's NAR report?

Oh, yeah. Let me pull it up.

Just give me another minute here.

- Well, you on the other hand, my friend...
- Next time...

- You.
- ...you owe me.

- It's your turn. Yeah.
- No.

I sent it over to you.

All right. We cover the tables at the bar,
the dance floor over the pool.

So we'll do a whole indoor/outdoor thing
with seating for 150.

What can we do about that?
We had carpet moths. Don't ask.

- Okay.
- Hey! Come on!

We gotta hit all four floors here.

I want a full permethrin spread.
I want vinegar seals. The works.

Okay, we could do a flower wall.

Hide that whole section. Or we
could build a board wrap of some kind.

What do you think, Notorious?

Why not both? More is more.

What do you know? More is more.

What's going on here?

Hey! It's the almost-birthday girl.

You weren't supposed to be home yet.

Melanie, Jane Reuven.

Reuven Catering and Events.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- I told you I didn't want a party!
- I know, but I don't--

- Sorry about that. There we go. Hey.
- Hey, José.

Come on, Mom. You can't cancel now.

Nana and Pops
are gonna be so disappointed.

You called my parents in Boca?

It was gonna be a surprise.
I'm flying them out.

- My parents are not coming here.
- What... Why not?

What? Come on, Mom. It's gonna be great.

- Mom? Mom?
- Nana's totally not racist anymore.

Remember that Uber driver
she told us about?

Mom? That's why I'm calling.
That is not happening.

- Is this okay?
- Good. Okay. Go, go.

- She'll come around.
- Okay.

That's what my dad said.

I'm sorry about this. I think Nick and I
just had a miscommunication.

Well, I can tell you
he is going all out for you.

I wish my husband
would think more like him.

How long have you two been married?

Lot of shopping bags in your closet.

Half of them are returns.

And Lily needed a new saddle
and equipment for horseback riding.

What was wrong with her old saddle?

This one's for dressage.

Apparently our daughter
has a very strong seat.

I know it's a compliment,
but it just sounds like an insult.

Why?

What's wrong?

I think with the renovation and everything
we should try to cut back on spending.

- Just for a little while.
- Hey, are we okay?

Yeah, it's just a little cash crunch.

We're fine.

Good.

Because we could always
return the Spectre.

Or, I don't know, I guess I could
stop wearing these expensive pajamas.

Better?

Let me see it on again.

Oh, no, no, no.

October 31st, 1984,

this prime minister
was assassinated by two...

Who is...

Jack Black.

Hey, wanna watch a movie?

No gig tonight?

Private event.

Come on. We can watch
one of your kung fu dragon films.

You know there's no literal dragons
in any of those movies, right?

That's disappointing.

- What is "SOS"?
- Annette?

What is "SOS"?

Are you using your chest as a bowl?

Yeah. It's a much more efficient
popcorn delivery system.

Disgusting.

Who the fuck is that?

Probably Mom with a vacuum cleaner.

We need to talk about your life decisions.

You're worse than the kids. Coming!

Who is Alice Cooper?

- What are you doing here?
- I need to talk to you.

I shouldn't be here.

And yet here you are.

Massey's in Jack's pocket.

- What?
- Massey was in Jack's office today.

Yeah. I gave you a heads-up on that
right before you hung up on me.

He's my lawyer.

This didn't look like that.

- What did it look like then?
- Like Massey's in Jack's pocket.

There are laws against that.

Did you pay a retainer? Sign a contract?

He said he'd get back to me.
Shit. Are you sure?

Think of everything you know
about Jack and Massey.

I'll hire someone else.

Yeah, I really wish you wouldn't.

What's Jack giving you?

- What?
- For all of this? What's Jack giving you?

Come on.

- A higher floor.
- Tracks.

- He'd fire me if he knew I was here.
- I know.

I appreciate it.

I'm gonna go.

Well, thank you for coming by.

You must be wishing you never met me.

Well...

it was a fun weekend.

It was.

Who was that?

Fucking everybody.

What is going on with you?

God.

Give me a second.

Yeah? Hey.

Already?

Yeah...

Yeah. I mean, sure.

Okay. I'll be right there.

Great.

I gotta go.

When Elena said she wanted to be partners,

it turned out she meant immediately.

So now I would be committing felonies
with the housekeeper

of the man who's sleeping with my ex-wife.

Which, if nothing else,
was a pretty good indicator

that my little enterprise was
already spinning out of control.

On the other hand, it was never
a bad thing to have some backup.

Hey. Whose car is this?

It's Nick's. For errands.

Nice touch.

- What's that?
- Wi-Fi jammer.

Kills the cameras.

You've got gear.

The right tool for the right job.

Are you sure about this?

Aren't women supposed to be
sentimental about their jewelry?

Not about the Panthère.

It's from her ex-husband.

Audrey told me that she kept it
out of spite in the divorce.

- She never wears it.
- And how does she know that?

Audrey knows everything.

Turned out
the housekeeper network was a real thing

and there was almost nothing
about us that they didn't know.

They were a social network like any other.

Supporting each other,
covering for each other,

spreading information like
currency across the neighborhood.

These women, moving quietly
and unobtrusively through our lives,

were quietly and unobtrusively
taking note of everything...

and sharing it in WhatsApp groups
and weekly card games.

And, Elena,

she was at the center of it all.

We did four jobs in two weeks.

All surgical, all clean,
all thanks to Elena.

Everything was where she said it would be

and it was all stuff
no one would miss for a while.

If ever.

We had a good thing going.

All we had to do was stick to the plan
and not get greedy.

Okay. So this guy that we're meeting...

- Héctor.
- Héctor.

- What's his deal?
- He works for Charter Security, which...

they do most of the alarms
in your neighborhood, so he can help us.

Well, I'm not really looking to
take on another partner at this point.

Okay. Think of him more as a consultant.

Right here.

Seriously?

It's a family dinner.

And you thought this would be an
appropriate time to make an introduction?

An introduction? He's my cousin.

Saludos.

Hey!

I didn't think you were coming!

Take it easy.

Easy! Take it easy!

What's with George Clooney?

Boyfriend?

No, he's not my boyfriend.

Coop, this is my little brother, Chivo.

Hey, Chivo. How do you do?

- Hi, cousin.
- Cousin.

You brought a Tinder date to my house?

No. This is my business associate.

Can we please talk alone?

Man the grill, Chivo.

Ready?

Yeah. Let's go.

No. No way.
I'm not getting involved in this shit.

And it's not cool for you guys
to ambush me like this.

Okay, just for the record,
I didn't know that you didn't know.

And I would never have
supported this ambush.

You're not getting involved, involved.

You're just passing on
some neighborhood alarm codes.

- Just that?
- And we'll pay you $5,000 per code.

- What?
- What?

Cousin...

Are you crazy?
What are you doing with this guy?

I know what I'm doing. Don't worry.

If you get caught, this guy lawyers up.

But you get deported. Period.

He has more to lose than you think.

- What are you doing?
- What everyone else does.

Look, I know you're working doubles
since Julio hurt his back.

It's too much for you.

So you're saying we deserve this.

In life you don't get what you deserve,

you get what you negotiate.

This is about Chivo.

What are you talking about?

You should talk to Chivo.

$5000 a code. Do we have a deal?

I get paid in cash. Up front.

Okay. We haven't had a chance to

discuss this fee internally.

So maybe we could put a pin in that
and maybe we can sidebar? Can you...

Thought I saw a Dominican Republic flag
back at your cousin's house.

Is that where you're from?

Yeah.

When did you move here?

I was 23 and my parents wanted to
get me away from some bad influences.

What kind of bad influences?

Keeping it vague, huh?

What does it matter? I've been here
12 years and look at me now.

I'm robbing houses with a banker.

It's a hedge fund, but whatever.

You could use a housekeeper.

I have a service. It comes twice a week.

Well... getting ripped off.

So, you know, you never did tell me

why you didn't turn me in
that night at Nick's.

- I wanted in.
- Well, yeah, but why?

I mean, look, if we're gonna be partners,

we might as well know at least
this about each other.

I've been cleaning houses ten years.

I know women who have
been doing it into their 70s.

And for what?

What do they get?

At a certain point it feels like
not taking the shortcut

is a bigger crime than the actual crime.

Well, what's the end game?

Bringing my parents here, for starters.

I know an immigration lawyer
who might be able to help with that.

You make it sound like all
I have to do is sign the right forms.

Takes a lot of money to get them here.
Takes even more money to keep them here...

and giving them a life.

Fair enough.

And then there's Chivo getting in trouble
faster than I can get him out.

You wouldn't understand.

Well, I don't know
if you're right about that.

I just moved my sister in with me.

- In here?
- Yeah.

And you're okay with that?

Yeah, I mean, you know... I don't know.

You get used to living with people.

There's a presence.

Even if they're not in the same room
or if you're asleep.

An empty house just feels different.
More like a tomb, you know?

And then you start looking
for any excuse to not come home.

And that,
I can tell you from personal experience,

leads to some very poor decisions.

I should get your money.

Your cut from the last two jobs.

Not gonna count it?

- I trust you.
- No, you don't. Not yet anyway.

I'm gonna count it when I get home.

That's what I would do.

Thanks for the beer, Coop.

You sure about Héctor?

You sure about any of this?

Okay. So, the anniversary
of your first episode is coming up.

Next week.

I would've been married 11 years.

Were you tempted to
reach out to Bruce again?

No.

I do wonder what he would have
gotten me as a steel anniversary.

Or turquoise.

The Internet is divided.

How did it feel in your body
to think about that?

Heavy.

In my legs.

Like I'm stuck in the mud.

I heard "Hold Me Now"
by the Thompson Twins

on the radio on my way to a gig.

That was supposed to be our wedding song.
And...

And I got through
the whole thing this time.

Usually I have to cut it off
after the first verse.

Did you make it to the gig?

I did.

And...

They offered me a regular slot.

That's terrific.

How did Andy react?
He must have been proud.

I haven't told him. I haven't told anyone.

Sounds to me like you redirected
some powerful emotions into your art

and were rewarded for it.

Can you let yourself celebrate that?

Historically,
things don't go so well when I celebrate.

Let's talk about that.

Elena picked a target,

and Héctor came through with
our first $5,000 alarm code.

Nine, six, two, four, two, three.

Fuck. Come on. Come on.

- Héctor, my man.
- You could sound a little less surprised.

I'm sorry.
It's just a little nerve-racking.

Elena, is there a dog here?

Died last month.
They made Lorelei handle the burial.

Thank God.

I mean, not thank God. That's awful.

God, handle the burial?

That's rough. No pun intended.

How does that compare to what
Nick makes you do?

Nick's easy
'cause he's barely home anymore.

- Yeah, thanks for that.
- Shit. Sorry.

But isn't this bitter act
getting a little old?

You're telling me you've
never cheated on anybody?

- Never.
- Wow. Really?

You could sound a little less surprised.

Okay.

I think I found it.

Okay, so we're looking
for anything Hermès.

Mrs. Hake's sales associate
couldn't or wouldn't

get her the new season Birkin colorway.

So she's too offended
to wear any of the bags.

Anything on the island is fair game.

There's probably a no more
obnoxious or coveted status symbol

than the Hermès Birkin,
named after singer/actress Jane Birkin.

They're handcrafted in France
by an elusive cabal of craftsmen

trained in centuries-old
equestrian trade techniques.

Using only the highest end leather,

exotic animal skins,
stitching, and hardware,

the Birkin is the crown jewel
of any woman's handbag collection.

The rub is, you can't simply walk
into an Hermès boutique and buy one.

You've got to play the Hermès game,

which means spending
tens of thousands on jewelry

and accessories, aka Birkin bait,
just to get wait-listed

for the privilege of spending
upwards of 50 grand for a bag.

And you thought hedge funds were--

What the fuck is that?

There's another alarm.
Why the fuck is there another alarm?

- Hello?
- Try the house code.

There's no fucking keypad.
Where do I find a keypad?

- Do you know?
- Okay. It's gotta be there somewhere.

Wait. I got it. Hold on.

Holy shit.

Coop?

It's not working. It's not working.

Coop.

- Fuck! It's not-- What do I do?
- Get out of there!

What the fuck kind of
security system is this?

Jesus Christ.

Coop, where are you? Get out here.

- Yeah, I don't think I can do that.
- Why not?

'Cause they got another dog.

Good dog.

Hey.

Hi.

You want a treat?

Shit!

I'm coming out front.

Do not come out front.
Do not go out front.

I don't really have a choice.

- Coop?
- Leave it.

Get off! Take the bag.

Fuck.

- Where the hell are you?
- I'm on the street.

- Go! Run east.
- Which way is east?

How the fuck am I supposed to know?

I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know where I'm going.

Tell me where I'm going.

Coop, there are cops everywhere.
Just be careful, okay?

Shit! Fuck. Okay. Okay.

My fucking earpiece!

- I've got eyes on him.
- He's out back! Come on.

Don't move.

Coop? Coop?

Answer me if you can hear me.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Coop? Hello?

Hey.

Let's go.

Okay, okay. Turn off the lights.

Yeah. Okay, turn it off. Turn off the car.

Shit.

Holy shit.

Okay.

You're okay.

Where the fuck are we?

Hey, I need your Airwrap.

Mom. What, you're not even dressed?

- People are already here.
- I just have to do my makeup.

So gorgeous.

Hey, come on. I'll help you.

- Oh, yeah. Sorry.
- Just, like, look at the ceiling.

Perfect.

Okay. Please, a little space, please.

There you are.

Happy birthday.

- Happy birthday.
- Tori, how are you? You look beautiful.

- Bar. Now.
- Now.

- But...
- You're gonna stay here.

Hey, Mel. Happy birthday.

Hi.

- Wow.
- Just, you know...

What the actual fuck?

- Babe.
- A Meltini.

Tonight's signature drink.

Baby, I just really want a vodka martini.
Very dirty.

Yeah, that's what the Meltini is.

I know what you like, babe.

Hey, girl. Oh, my God.

We're both fire signs.

- Really?
- Yeah.

We're more into enneagrams here.

- You mean like word games?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, sure.
- Yes, words.

- Wow. I mean...
- Okay.

Hey, Sam.

Paul.

Could you give us a minute?

- I don't think so.
- We were here first.

Did you get my voicemails?

Anything you have to say
can go through our lawyers.

- God knows we pay them enough.
- I pay them enough.

Well, you can afford it, unless Misty
is spending you out of house and home.

Can you really rack up that
much of a tab at Fashion Nova?

It doesn't have to be like this.

You should go back up there.

It looks like they're
proofing your girlfriend at the bar.

Ladies.

Bye, Paul.

What the fuck? How did Héctor not know
about the second alarm?

- They gotta be the same company.
- He didn't know what he was looking for.

For five grand, he better fucking know!

Can you sit down? You're making it worse.

Where's your first aid kit?

- I don't have one.
- Okay. Do you have vodka?

In the freezer.

Give me your phone.

- I'm gonna order the rest on DoorDash.
- Cocksucker.

Okay. I need your face.

Thank you.

Why is Samantha Levitt sending you nudes?

Oh, my God. It's complicated, okay?

How do you know Samantha Levitt?

Why does everybody know
everybody in this town?

Of course, everyone
fucking knows everyone.

Is that why you were fighting
with her husband at Nick's?

No. Paul is just a dick, okay?
Can we please drop this?

Okay.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

We gotta be more careful.
People are gonna hear about this.

- About you and Sam?
- No.

About me being chased by police and a dog.

Hey. It'll pass.

Yeah.

So this looks more like
a scratch than a full-on bite,

but I would still probably
put some antibiotics on it.

It'll be fine.
What are we gonna do about Héctor?

I'll straighten out Héctor.

- Okay?
- Okay.

You know what, I'll be fine.
I gotta go. I'm gonna be late.

Late? Late to what?

Mel's birthday party. I gotta change.

Are you serious?

You're a complicated guy, Coop.

I know.
Sometimes I don't understand myself.

- Another shot for this bad bitch.
- Tequila shots. Doubles, please.

Hey, can we have Don Julio?
None of that spring break shit.

- Uh-uh.
- Yeah.

- Grown-ass adults.
- Line 'em up.

- Strong.
- And here we go.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Happy birthday.
- Okay. That's my girl.

Ali?

Happy birthday, Melly.

Thank you for coming.

Of course. I wouldn't miss it.

Ali, we haven't seen you in forever.

You do not age. You look amazing.

- Well, of course she looks amazing.
- Yeah.

She doesn't have kids sucking
the life out of her through her tits.

I apologize in advance for anything
they may say at any point tonight.

Please don't leave.

Go fuck yourself, Paul!

- Fuck you!
- Shit.

Did somebody miss their nap time?

- Okay, let's dance.
- Okay.

Mel, come on.
Birthday girl dance. Birthday girl dance.

Hey, sir.

Hi, Coop.

Coop, what's up?

- Hi, Coop.
- Hey.

Sorry.

Hey, Kat. How are you?

Looking good.

That was quite a picture.

Are you gonna do something about it?

I got out of bed, didn't I?

You've been spending
a lot of time in bed recently.

Okay, is this about the girl?

Wow. Nailed it on your first try.

- And they say men are obtuse.
- Sam...

I just thought you were better than that.

Well, better than Paul, at least.

Though, I have to admit,
it's not a very high bar.

Okay. She was a former colleague.

She came by to drop some
things off at the house.

She never even came inside.

She kissed you like
someone who's fucked you.

Well, maybe some women just kiss that way.

There you are. Tori,
can I get you over here for a minute?

- Why?
- Nick wants a family photo.

I'm not his family.

That's what I'm talking about.

That wasn't for you.

Well, I'm gonna pretend it was.

- You're late.
- Yes. I'm sorry.

Cut me some slack, please. Will you?

What?

Okay, are you gonna tell me what's wrong
or are you gonna stand there

- with your arms crossed?
- Dad, all you get is slack.

Slack to be a shitty dad,
husband, whatever, with no consequences.

Excuse me.

My life is one big consequence.

See, you want me to feel bad
for you when this is all your fault.

Hey, for the record,
I didn't choose any of this.

Okay, but you didn't fight, Dad.

It was your job to fight for Mom, for us.

Okay? You were the only one who could,
and you just walked away.

Well, it was a little
more complicated than that.

Right. And you made leaving
look pretty fucking simple.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Jake.
- Hey. I got this, Mr. Cooper.

- I know. Can you do me a favor?
- Yeah.

Get the fuck out of my way.

Sure thing.

Hey.

- Hey.
- Hey. You came.

Yeah. Just in time to get
my ass handed to me by our daughter.

Well, I got a pass tonight.

For my birthday.

Well, happy birthday, Mel.

Wow. You went all out.

It's all right.

Hello, hello. Testing.

- That's my cue.
- Hello.

Yeah, you can hear me. Okay, good.

- Where is Mel?
- Hey.

Where are you, Mel? There you go.

Come on, baby.
I want you next to me for this.

Pretty please.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Just let him do it.

You got it, you got it,
you got it. Come on.

Yeah! Happy birthday!

Yes. You're walking up here.

Happy birthday!

I got you a drink.

Oh, my Mel. Thank you.

I know you didn't want this party, but...

how could I not spoil you?
I mean, look at you.

Don't you hit me. It's true, right?

You teach me something new every day.

I'm my best self when I'm with you
because I want to be better for you.

You guide me through space and time.

You speak to my soul.

I love you, babe.

Sir.

Thank you.

So everyone,
raise your Meltinis for the birthday girl.

Why don't you say something?

A little something.

Can you grab a guitar for me inside?

Got it.

Sorry. I am one of those people
that needs to fill every awkward silence.

That was beautiful, Nick.

Literal tears. Yeah.

Clearly an emotional moment for all of us.

Give a round of applause to Nick! Yeah.

Nick. Strong Ass Gym.

That's a very tough act to follow.

But I'm just gonna steal
this stool here from the...

Sorry, from the DJ. So...

I would like to...

I would love to play a song
in honor of the birthday girl.

Yeah.

And...

I will be playing weeknights at
the Tap Alehouse if you are so inclined.

Here we go.

I have a picture

I love this song.

Pinned to my wall

An image of you and of me

And we're laughing
We're loving it all

But look at our lives now

All tattered and torn

We fuss and we fight
And delight in the tears

That we cry until dawn

Oh, whoa

Hold me now, whoa

Warm my heart

Stay with me

Let loving start
Let loving start...

- What happened to your leg?
- What happened to your speech?

Don't fuck with me right now.

Hey.

You okay?

Eighteen years of marriage...

you never once asked me that.

Well, for what it's worth, I wish I had.

Where did you get that?

They sell these at stores now.

But this I happened
to get in Hunter's room.

Well, great.

Please. Don't worry about him now.

Worry about him
when he gets better at hiding it.

Tell that to your mother.

She chewed me out in the supermarket
the other day for being a bad parent.

I think that's just
her way of saying she misses you.

Maybe she's right.

Maybe we are fucking up our kids.

Well, she would know. She set the
industry standard of terrible parenting.

Coop!

Okay.

Maybe we are fucking them up.

But please, give yourself a break.

Whatever we have done to them
started way before the divorce, so...

To answer your question, I'm not okay.

Nothing feels real to me anymore.

I'm numb all the time.

I miss moments I can't ever
get back every day.

Moments with the kids...

with my patients. My God. I'm a terrible
fucking therapist right now.

You're not a terrible therapist.

No, no. Trust me. You're not there.

Maybe it's not enough I fuck up our kids,
I gotta fuck up everybody else's kids too.

It's good to have goals.

It feels like I've been angry for so long.

I thought I was angry at you,
but now you're gone, I'm still so angry.

I'm just fucked up.

You hide it very well.

You ask if I love you

Well, what could I say?

You know that I do
And this is just one

Of those games that you play

So, I'll sing you a new song

Please don't cry anymore

I'll even ask your forgiveness
Though I don't know

Just what I'm asking it for

Whoa

And hold me now, whoa

Warm my heart

Stay with me

Let loving start
Let loving start

Whoa

Hold me now, whoa

Warm my heart

Stay with me

Let loving start
Let loving start...

Hi.

Damn it.

- Probably should get that fixed.
- It's on the list.

Warm my heart

Stay with me

Let loving start
Let loving start

Whoa