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www.titlovi.com
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Ripped By mstoll
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Freeze!
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00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:16,176
Where do you think you're going?
5
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Uh, no place, Mom.
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We're just, uh, trying
to break in our coats.
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But we were supposed
to all be here
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tonight to share this.
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Oh, no, not another
Woodstock slide show
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where you guys spend the evening
trying to spot yourselves
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among... among a sea
of long hair and beards.
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00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:33,459
Jennifer,
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we once spotted a blonde speck
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in that crowd
that was definitely your mother.
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That's not
what we're doing tonight.
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00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,137
What are we doing tonight?
17
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:47,005
You're helping me make
a time capsule for school.
18
00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,842
Oh, that sounds neat...
what are you gonna put in it?
19
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,111
I'm gonna put stuff
about our family.
20
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,513
Can you put Alex in there?
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00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,249
I could try.
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00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,717
So if you have any mementos that
remind you of growing up,
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00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,253
put them in there.
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00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:03,655
I, uh, I actually have
the first dollar I ever earned.
25
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,489
Uh, and I'll sell it
to you for 25 bucks.
26
00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:10,063
You sure you can't
put Alex in there?
27
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:12,965
Maybe if we let some of the
hot air out of him, he'll fit.
28
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,234
So what do you got
in here so far, Andy?
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00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,170
I got my baby boots.
-Oh...
30
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,705
Yeah, you know,
I've got mine bronzed...
31
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:23,008
which made it
really tough to walk.
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00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:25,310
Look, our old color slides.
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Oh, no, the slides!
-No slides.
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I thought you kids loved
my slide shows.
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00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:33,285
You used to sit there,
36
00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:36,255
staring at them, eyes wide open.
37
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,256
No, Dad, we learned
to sleep that way.
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00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,132
I can't believe
you guys can watch this.
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00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,400
You look ridiculous.
40
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:51,069
Half a million people trying
to stop a senseless war.
41
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:52,906
You find that ridiculous?
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00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,507
I'm talking about the outfits.
43
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,143
I'm dying, I'm dying.
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00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,979
Promise me you'll never show
these when my friends are here.
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00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,614
Promise or I'm leaving
home right now.
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00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,150
Mallory, that was history
in the making.
47
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:07,052
There were people... every state
in the union at that protest.
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00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:09,453
What were you protesting...
good grooming?
49
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,393
Mommy, you look so pretty.
50
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,795
Like an Indian princess.
51
00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,796
That's your father, dear.
52
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,134
There I am.
-There you go.
53
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:25,070
You look almost
as pretty as Daddy.
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00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,906
Daddy, how long ago was that?
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That was very long ago.
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00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:33,340
In a galaxy far, far away.
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00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:35,682
All right, who wants to see
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00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,983
the Peace Corps slides?
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00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,352
You know, this is fun,
and it's a great way
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00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,955
to clean out my closet.
61
00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:44,389
Do you have room for six pairs
of Earth Shoes,
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00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,390
a mood ring and a pet rock?
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00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:51,063
Why were you guys always
protesting stuff?
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00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,165
Well, I think
it was just the times.
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00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,901
There was a lot to be
upset about, you know?
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00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,869
War, the government.
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00:03:56,870 --> 00:04:00,539
Not being able to drag
a comb through your hair.
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00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,808
Don't listen
to your brother, Andy.
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00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,010
If he'd been older,
he would've loved the '60s.
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00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:08,513
Mom, the only way I could've
enjoyed the '60s
71
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:11,149
would be if my headband
had been too tight,
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00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:13,318
I had lost consciousness
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00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:16,321
and woke up in the '80s.
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00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,457
Wait a minute, Alex.
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00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,092
I seem to remember
your getting involved
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00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,460
in a protest or two.
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00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,628
That's right,
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00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,695
Andy, and it was
for a good cause, too...
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00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:25,465
The Equal Rights Amendment.
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00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,267
Alex?
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00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:30,402
No, it was for a better cause
than that.
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00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,905
It was for a girl.
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All right!
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00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,052
That's right.
Sing it!
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It's important.
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00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,088
Are you okay?
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00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,556
No, not really.
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00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:54,559
Look, Deena, I cannot go on
with this any longer.
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00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,362
I-I-I'm not really...
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00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:59,164
Alex, that was a very
courageous thing you did,
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00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,466
coming to Dorothy's
defense like that.
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00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,902
Well, thanks, but, uh,
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00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:07,272
listen, about this whole
ERA business, this-this...
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00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:09,908
this button, this-this shirt...
it's not...
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00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:12,044
Is that a scratch on your ear?
96
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,413
Yeah, but it's nothing.
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00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,414
Oh, those animals.
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00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:28,226
Alex, I don't think I've ever
been as attracted to anybody
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00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:30,227
as I am to you right now.
100
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:39,204
So, what is it
you wanted to tell me?
101
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,140
Don't remember.
102
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:44,142
I think it was
a trivia question.
103
00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:45,645
Isn't this romantic?
104
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:49,206
The two of us
in prison together.
105
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,685
Alex, I want to think you
for coming to my defense.
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00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,254
I'm proud of you.
107
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,490
And I'm very impressed with
your passion for the movement.
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00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:01,326
Well, uh, Dorothy,
it was a privilege
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00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:02,762
to come to your aid.
110
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,497
I mean, I-I regret I have
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00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,799
but one ear to give
to the cause.
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00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,001
Alex, when you talk like that,
I can barely
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00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:12,571
keep my hands off you.
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00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:15,474
But-but those are
just idle words.
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00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,577
I mean, there is
a job to be done here.
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00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:19,746
Yes, there is.
-Right on!
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00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,080
You know, and not only by us,
118
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,882
but by women everywhere.
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00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,217
Yeah, tell 'em!
120
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,885
How long must we wait?
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00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,820
How long are we expected
to accept these indignities?
122
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,821
How long, Lord?
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00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,627
You know, I feel the way
President Kennedy must've felt
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00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,497
that day at the Berlin wall,
when he said,
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00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:38,865
"Today I am a Berliner."
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00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,333
Well, today in this cell,
I say to you,
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00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,336
"I am a woman."
128
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,709
Alex definitely turns up
in the most unlikely places.
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00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,478
"His mother put him to bed,
and made some chamomile tea,
130
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,148
and she gave a dose
of it to Peter."
131
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,416
See? Right there.
132
00:06:56,417 --> 00:07:00,318
"One tablespoon full
to be taken at bedtime.
133
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,654
"But Flopsy, Mopsy
and Cottontail,
134
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,123
"who are good little bunnies,
135
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:07,893
had bread and milk
and blackberries for supper."
136
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,095
There, see?
137
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,997
These are blackberries.
138
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:15,367
Read it again, Mommy.
139
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,069
Give it a break, Alex.
140
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,905
She read it three times.
141
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,007
Hey, come on, Andy
and I love to read together.
142
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,008
"And then Mr. Reagan said...
143
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,615
"'Oh, look, Mommy,
144
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,015
"It's Secretary of State...
145
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:38,223
It's Secretary
of State George Shultz."
146
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:41,226
Boy, Andrew, this I LoveRepublicans pop-up book
147
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:44,029
was the best purchase
I ever made.
148
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,731
Make Nancy wave again.
149
00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,732
Hi.
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00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,637
What is this word right here?
151
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,638
"Impeach."
152
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:59,312
Isn't that sweet?
153
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,913
It really is.
154
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,081
You know, sometimes I think
we're too harsh on Alex.
155
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:06,585
He-he's not just a callous
archconservative Republican.
156
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,620
You know, sometimes
he can be a warm,
157
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:11,089
loving son and brother.
158
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,358
"I... am...
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00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:16,487
not... a crook."
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00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,634
The one thing you
don't want to see, though,
161
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,936
is a book in Mallory's hands.
162
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,672
"But I reckon I got to light out
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00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,307
"for the territory ahead of
the rest because Aunt Sally,
164
00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:31,877
"she's gonna adopt me
and civilize me
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00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,711
and I can't stand it...
I've been there before."
166
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,717
Mal, is that you?
167
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,052
What are you doing?
168
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:43,855
I'm reading.
169
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:47,492
When did you learn how?
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00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:49,728
When I found out that
Cosmopolitan magazine
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00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,931
was banned in certain places,
I became enraged.
172
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:55,867
Then I saw Huckleberry Finn
sitting on the coffee table,
173
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,370
and I said to myself,
174
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,471
"What better way to show
Jennifer my support?"
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00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,440
So I picked it up and I started
reading and you know what?
176
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:05,243
I love it.
177
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:08,013
I love reading... I'm gonna
teach Nick how to read.
178
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:11,483
Mallory did a great job of it.
179
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,286
"The little engine looked
at the hill
180
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:15,521
and said, 'I think I can."'
181
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:23,762
"I think... I can."
182
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,665
"I think I can."
183
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,266
This is getting
pretty exciting, huh?
184
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:30,101
I wonder what happens next?
185
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:32,102
He gets up the hill, Nick.
186
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:37,543
I got a few things...
187
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:38,945
from my own personal collection.
188
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,413
Alex, that's way too big.
189
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,473
What's in there, your ego?
190
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:48,248
Andy, I'm gonna give you
my favorite baby toy.
191
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:56,528
She knew how to feather her hair
before she even had any.
192
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,564
And this is the English textbook
that I used to help Nick
193
00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,734
get his high school
equivalency diploma.
194
00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:06,771
Yeah, yeah, you, uh,
you were a lot of help.
195
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,708
What is a verb?
196
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,343
What does it do in a sentence?
197
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,211
Uh, it just kind of sits there,
198
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,946
trying not to bother
the other words.
199
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,382
Come on, Nick.
200
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,217
A verb is a word that does
something active in a sentence,
201
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:21,618
like walk or run or eat.
202
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,759
Yeah, but, um,
eating's not active.
203
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,261
Unless you eat and run.
204
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:33,064
Well, you don't have
to be moving to be active.
205
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:35,034
You just have
to be doing something.
206
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,602
Well...
what about if you're dead?
207
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,472
I mean, you can't be active
when you're dead,
208
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:42,066
unless you're a ghost
or a vampire.
209
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:49,881
Well, you can use verbs
for ghosts and vampires.
210
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,984
Uh, just not for ordinary
dead people, huh?
211
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,487
I'm gonna have to look that up,
212
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,487
I think they have
special verbs for them.
213
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,326
You know, this is
without a doubt,
214
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,995
the most inane
and absurd conversation
215
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,598
I've ever heard.
216
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,667
Alex, what are you doing here?
217
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:12,604
What am I do... well,
I'm not "doing" anything,
218
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,972
so I guess I'll need
one of those special verbs.
219
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,983
Like you use for dead people.
220
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,987
Did Nick graduate?
221
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,556
Yes, Andy, Nick did graduate...
222
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:33,959
What was that, honey?
223
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,928
With Alex's help.
224
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,364
That's right.
225
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,765
And it was
no easy feat either, pal.
226
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,001
Oh, come on, Alex, don't
underestimate your sister.
227
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,970
She's helped quite a few people.
228
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:48,206
Remember when she was
our little, uh, Ann Landers?
229
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,341
I better get started.
230
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:50,976
Look at all these letters
I have already.
231
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,044
Oh...
-Oh, hey.
232
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,646
You can't actually look, Dad.
233
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,914
They're confidential.
234
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:58,383
Oh, let me look.
235
00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:01,848
Well, I guess you're
family and all, so...
236
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:08,126
"Dear Mallory,
I need your advice.
237
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,895
"My partner doesn't satisfy me
sexually,
238
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,198
and I was wondering..."
239
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,200
Oh, Dad! My advice is that
you don't read that.
240
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:18,837
Very wise, Dear Mallory.
241
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,539
Alex, Alex, guess what.
242
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:22,942
I'm Dear Mallory.
243
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:27,078
Yeah, and I'm adorable Alex.
244
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,114
Ha-ha.
245
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,648
No, you don't understand.
246
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,649
I'm taking over
the personal advice column
247
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,619
for the ColumbusShopper's Guide.
248
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,820
The column is called
"Dear Mallory."
249
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,523
No, wait, wait, wait...
Columbus Shopper's Guide.
250
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,425
Isn't that that freebie
giveaway thing they have
251
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,127
at the checkout counter
at the supermarkets,
252
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,062
the one with all
the coupons in it?
253
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,597
That's right.
254
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,665
What are you so excited
about, Mal?
255
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:50,468
You're gonna, you're gonna be
giving advice to-to lowlife
256
00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:53,138
bargain hunters who can't
afford to buy a real paper.
257
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:56,708
But, Alex, they're not lowlife
bargain hunters.
258
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,811
They're people, real people
coming to me for advice.
259
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:02,080
Mallory, if these people are
willing to shell out a quarter,
260
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,081
they could turn to Dear Abby.
261
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,385
I can help him.
262
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:10,556
That was a great job.
263
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:11,824
People came to me for help,
264
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:15,059
and I didn't help them one bit,
but I had fun.
265
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,695
I guess that's all that counts.
266
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:18,130
Oh, come on, Dad,
you-you've messed up
267
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,198
on helping people
plenty of times.
268
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,333
Like who?
269
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,434
Like me, whenever you helped me
270
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:23,836
with my homework.
271
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,077
I remember a certain philosophy
paper that I was doing...
272
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,941
I don't know, Dad,
I have to disagree with you.
273
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,544
Kierkegaard felt
that all knowledge
274
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,445
must be self-knowledge.
275
00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,347
I think you're wrong, Jen.
276
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:36,916
He was also concerned
277
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,250
with the larger societal
problems.
278
00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:42,086
Dad, you're missing the point
completely.
279
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,455
Oh, am I?
280
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:47,592
Kierkegaard believed that
examining man's existence
281
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,128
within a larger framework
of a societal,
282
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,897
historical dialectic
was the avoidance
283
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:54,933
of subjective knowledge
so essential to comprehending
284
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,934
any type of spiritual truth.
285
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,833
Jennifer, go to your room.
286
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:09,680
Jennifer, go to your room.
287
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,351
Now, come on,
don't be so hard on your dad.
288
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,154
He's done a lot around here.
289
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:16,922
Remember when he re-wallpapered
the kitchen?
290
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,922
All by himself, too.
291
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:25,163
Elyse, Mal,
Jennifer, Andrew, everybody!
292
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:26,732
Could you come out
for a minute?!
293
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:28,732
There's something I'd like
to show you!
294
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:30,803
What, honey?
295
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:32,904
Oh...
296
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:35,373
Oh, Steven, it's magnificent!
297
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,476
I never really liked this
wallpaper, but you made it work.
298
00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:39,945
This is pretty nice, Mr. K.
299
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,614
Maybe you can come over
to my house
300
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,082
and do my kitchen for me.
301
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,617
Well, I have to admit
302
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,617
I'm really good with my hands.
303
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:50,722
Anyway, there's a certain
satisfaction a man gets,
304
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:54,492
a certain satisfaction
a man gets from a job well done.
305
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,661
I think I should do more
work around the house.
306
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:59,030
I don't think so, Dad.
307
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,032
Oh, that's...
308
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:03,167
that's... that's fine... no...
309
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,169
That's fine.
310
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,271
No problem.
311
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,271
I fully expected that to happen.
312
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,579
Whoa! Whoa!
313
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:17,749
Whoa! Hey, hey...
-Oh!
314
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:22,654
Well, it was beautiful
while it lasted.
315
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,423
Your father's
obsessiveness is one of
316
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,791
his most charming traits.
317
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,360
Well, thank you, dear,
but I think I've seen you
318
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:31,462
go off the deep end a few times.
319
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:32,731
Oh, you have?
320
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,400
Yeah, come on, Mom,
he's got you there.
321
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:38,436
Does the phrase "snake eyes"
mean anything to you?
322
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,672
All right, all right, all right,
323
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,773
don't get into your pet names
for each other.
324
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:43,508
You know, Andy,
there was one time
325
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:47,178
when your mother became
a complete compulsive.
326
00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:48,714
Mom, I bet you were
327
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,082
the prettiest compulsive
on the block.
328
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,717
Thank you, honey.
329
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,419
Your mother became
a real riverboat gambler.
330
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,121
All she was missing
was the riverboat.
331
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,624
You see, we-we all went
to Atlantic City,
332
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,393
where your mother was to deliver
a lecture at a convention.
333
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:04,896
Instead, she fell in love
with blackjack.
334
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:05,831
Who's he?
335
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,399
It's a card game, honey.
336
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:08,801
Blackjack's a card game.
337
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,502
Like "Go Fish"?
338
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,438
A little, but when was
the last time
339
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,973
someone made $2,000
playing "Go Fish"?
340
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,508
Mom, I'm hungry.
341
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:17,943
Oh, can I get some ice cream?
342
00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:19,411
Oh, in a few minutes, honey.
343
00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:21,347
Your dad and I are gonna play
a couple hands of blackjack
344
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,815
and then we'll go have a snack.
345
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,216
Hey, hey, Mom, Mom, look,
what are you doing?
346
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:27,086
Every second you delay means
interest lost
347
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:28,687
on the money we're gonna win.
348
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,189
Oh, there's Tom Jones!
There's Tom Jones!
349
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,190
He's coming this way!
Here he comes!
350
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:38,831
Good call, Mal.
351
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,165
It looked like him
from a distance, Alex.
352
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,735
You want to give it a try?
353
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,736
Well, we might as well
get it over with.
354
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,271
You guys stay behind
the rope here
355
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:47,840
and don't get in any trouble.
356
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,241
I'm sorry, but only people
over 21 in here.
357
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:52,242
Oh, I'll sit back here.
358
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,913
Your last 21.
359
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,129
What do you think
I should do, Elyse?
360
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,964
Oh, don't ask me, Steven; I can
only think about my speech.
361
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,433
Stick.
-Hmm?
362
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,734
Didn't you read the cards
that Alex gave you?
363
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,437
Since the deck is rich in tens,
you've got to stick,
364
00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:21,273
figuring the dealer's four
will bust him.
365
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,273
You heard her... stick.
366
00:17:24,576 --> 00:17:26,311
23, a bust.
367
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,311
Oh, whoo!
-We won!
368
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:30,716
Come on, let's cash in
those chips.
369
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,984
Oh, come on, Elyse.
370
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,952
Why don't you just play
one game?
371
00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,587
Well, all right.
-Come on.
372
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,556
Guess it'd be silly to come
all the way to Atlantic City
373
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,325
and not play one hand
of blackjack.
374
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:41,727
Hey, Mom, how's it going?
375
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,262
Remember, if the dealer has
a four, five or six showing,
376
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,798
you want to stick on 12.
If he's got a three...
377
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,467
Hit the 13,
seven or above, hit the 17.
378
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:50,903
It's great to see
a mother and son
379
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,037
enjoying a common interest.
380
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:55,873
Okay, see, the dealer has
a picture...
381
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,576
hit.
382
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,576
Stick.
383
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,914
17 for the dealer.
384
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,715
Whoo!
-Yay! We win!
385
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,217
I got to get in on this.
386
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,452
Hi, how you doing?
387
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:08,620
I'm Big Al from Vegas.
388
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,384
Vinny says hello.
389
00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:15,626
Excuse me, son, didn't I tell
you you weren't allowed in here?
390
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,096
Who, Me? No, you've
never seen me before.
391
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,589
I'm just here with my wife
and my brother-in-law...
392
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,670
Nice try, kid.
393
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,939
See you later, hon.
394
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,109
Blackjack! Whoo!
395
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,211
On that note,
let's call it a day.
396
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:34,880
Come on, honey,
let's hit the boardwalk.
397
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,014
Can it, Steven.
398
00:18:36,014 --> 00:18:38,014
We're not going anywhere.
399
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:43,588
Hit me over here. Stick.
400
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:44,990
Hit me over, but be gentle.
401
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:45,991
Ooh, soft 16.
402
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:47,159
Hit me again.
403
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:48,227
Ooh, stick.
404
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,728
Hit me over here on the end.
405
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:53,231
Stick. Thanks, Eddie.
-My pleasure, Elyse.
406
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,666
The lady wins on all three.
407
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:58,136
Whoo!
408
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,538
Way to go, Mom. Hang in there.
409
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,538
How ya doing? Nice to see ya.
410
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,944
You have won quite a bit
of money, Elyse.
411
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,813
Why don't we just cash in now?
412
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,982
Oh, Steven, everything is
under control, baby.
413
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,752
One more hour,
and we are in fat city.
414
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:17,155
Okay, now, Eddie,
I'm doubling my bets.
415
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,524
Be nice to me.
416
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,858
Mom, can I go backstage
417
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,160
and hang around Tom Jones's
dressing room?
418
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,162
Sure, honey.
419
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,162
Say hi to Tom for me.
420
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,166
Mom, I'm really getting hungry.
421
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,167
Here's ten dollars.
422
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,401
Get yourself some ice cream.
423
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:33,963
Mom, I saw this girl
in the lobby...
424
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:38,343
I think I have enough stuff.
425
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:39,878
Oh, don't be silly, Andy.
426
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:43,147
The night is young and Keaton
memories have just begun.
427
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,883
You know what, Andy?
I think it's time
428
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:48,486
that I pass down to you one
of my favorite collections.
429
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:50,088
Baseball cards?
430
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:51,623
They're better
than baseball cards:
431
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,225
The Alex Keaton report cards.
432
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:55,661
Nursery school through college.
433
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,995
You can keep 'em,
you can collect 'em,
434
00:19:57,996 --> 00:19:59,831
you can trade 'em
with your friends.
435
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:02,900
Thanks, Alex. I'll treasure 'em.
436
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,236
You really know how
437
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,971
to give that something special,
don't you, Alex?
438
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,173
Why would you want to save
your report cards?
439
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:11,542
Because they're gems.
440
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,345
I mean, every year, all A's.
441
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:16,347
Unlike you, Mallory,
who spiced up her academic life
442
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:19,684
by getting a Q in math.
443
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,420
Mal, I think it's great
your brother shows
444
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:22,921
such an interest in academics.
445
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,823
After all,
the first day of school
446
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,692
is Alex's favorite
day of the year.
447
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:30,428
Jen, I'm telling you, you're
gonna do great in high school.
448
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,164
Yeah, Jen,
what are you worried about?
449
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:34,498
This is Harding High.
This is my alma mater.
450
00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:37,559
I'm a legend there.
Let me see your schedule.
451
00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:41,072
Little kids.
452
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:44,575
Okay, first period you got
Mr. Gibson for English.
453
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,577
No problem.
454
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:46,745
He loved me.
455
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,746
Wrote me a recommendation
for college.
456
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,682
Second period, Mrs. Hentoff
for math.
457
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,684
She wrote me two recommendations
for college.
458
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,953
Third period, Mr. Kaufman
for science.
459
00:20:55,954 --> 00:20:58,548
He drove me to college.
460
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,127
Andy, Andy,
let's get to work, buddy.
461
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,362
You got a lot of ground
to cover here.
462
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:05,497
First day of kindergarten,
463
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,632
you want to get off
to a good start, right?
464
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,634
I'm ready, Alex.
-You know, the first thing
465
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,836
your teacher's gonna ask is
what you did over the summer.
466
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,272
Now, a lot of kids are gonna
say, "I went to the zoo"
467
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,574
or "I went to the beach,"
468
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,775
or "I went to a baseball game."
What are you gonna say?
469
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,472
I watched
the Iran-Contra hearings.
470
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:25,684
And?
471
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,982
President Reagan
doesn't know anything.
472
00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:33,991
Doesn't know anything
about the scandal, okay?
473
00:21:33,992 --> 00:21:37,662
You don't want to be quoted
out of context.
474
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,498
See, the great thing
about Andy is,
475
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:42,633
whenever I'm talking,
the kid is mesmerized.
476
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:46,126
He expresses it in a funny way.
477
00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:49,241
Andy?
-Hmm?
478
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:51,043
Come on. Time for bed, sweetie.
479
00:21:51,044 --> 00:21:53,307
I'll take him up, Mom.
-Come on, Andy.
480
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:57,848
I better stay
to oversee the time capsule.
481
00:21:57,849 --> 00:21:59,017
It's okay, Andy.
482
00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:00,719
We'll work on it for you.
483
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,744
That's what I'm afraid of.
484
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:06,557
So now what?
485
00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:10,328
Oh, I don't know, maybe... mm!
486
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,697
This.
487
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,333
That's great, Merlin.
488
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,935
Or perhaps...
489
00:22:17,936 --> 00:22:20,604
this.
490
00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:23,407
Please, Dad, no magic tricks.
491
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:26,036
You know what happened
the last time.
492
00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:33,551
Okay, Alex, pick a card!
493
00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:36,954
Any card.
494
00:22:36,955 --> 00:22:42,326
Oh, Jennifer, Jennifer,
just the person I want to see.
495
00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:45,429
Get in this box.
496
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:46,932
What is this, Daddy Dearest?
497
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:48,932
Come on...
498
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:51,936
Steven, we're not gonna
put our daughter in a magic box.
499
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:54,238
Well, okay, Elyse,
then you-you help me.
500
00:22:54,239 --> 00:22:56,239
Oh, Jen, get in.
That's all right.
501
00:22:58,276 --> 00:22:59,911
When I next open this box,
502
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:03,881
my daughter Jennifer
will be gone.
503
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:06,851
Come one, come all
from far and near,
504
00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:09,186
you have seen my daughter dear.
505
00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:14,226
I will make her disappear.
506
00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:18,196
Well, that's-that's very good.
507
00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:19,264
Now-Now bring her back.
508
00:23:19,264 --> 00:23:21,233
Okay.
509
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:24,468
She's gone, she's gone,
alack, alack,
510
00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:28,407
I will bring my daughter back.
511
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,354
Okay, okay... Jennifer?
512
00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:44,723
Jennifer, the trick worked.
513
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:47,191
You, uh, come out now.
514
00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:49,387
It's nothing.
515
00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:55,698
She's really gone.
516
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,700
Can you do that with Mallory?
517
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:04,375
Wha-What's going on here?
Where is Jennifer?
518
00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:06,211
I don't know.
519
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,046
That was just the beginning.
520
00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:09,948
Soon, Dad was completely
out of control.
521
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:10,982
Poodle!
522
00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:13,351
Thanks!
My very own poodle.
523
00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,488
What'll it be, Alex...
a mouse, peacock?
524
00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:20,191
Giraffe?
525
00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:21,827
Dad?
-Hmm?
526
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:24,455
This has got to stop.
527
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,068
What do you mean?
528
00:24:31,069 --> 00:24:32,938
Dad...
529
00:24:32,939 --> 00:24:36,169
Dad, you're a well-educated guy.
530
00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:45,881
And-and-and most of the time,
you're pretty normal, but...
531
00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:52,556
Dad, you got to face it,
you have a problem.
532
00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:53,992
Alex, it's just a hobby.
533
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:56,222
No, no, Dad, Dad, Dad...
534
00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:01,632
it's an obsession;
it's a compulsion.
535
00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:04,001
You have a compulsion for...
say it with me...
536
00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,337
you have a compulsion for...
537
00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:08,739
birthday party tricks.
538
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:11,208
That's... that's right, Dad.
539
00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:12,310
And it's gotta stop.
540
00:25:12,310 --> 00:25:14,279
The party is over.
541
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,180
You're right, Alex.
542
00:25:25,924 --> 00:25:27,924
I need help.
543
00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:34,465
Andy, what are you doing
out of bed?
544
00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:35,700
I can't sleep.
545
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,868
The clothes on my chair
look like a monster.
546
00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:40,571
This, uh, this wouldn't by
any chance be a ploy
547
00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:43,674
to get one of us to read you
a bedtime story, would it?
548
00:25:43,675 --> 00:25:48,779
No, but the monster's requesting
anything but Dr. Seuss.
549
00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,215
I'll, uh, I'll go.
550
00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:52,215
I speak monster.
551
00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,319
I'll get it.
552
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,355
Hey!
-Hi.
553
00:25:58,356 --> 00:26:01,325
Things were going so well
there for a moment.
554
00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:03,061
Hey, Mal...
Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal...
555
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,963
uh, don't you remember?
We had a date tonight.
556
00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:07,498
I got two tickets for the
postmodern art exhibition
557
00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,633
and pie-eating contest.
558
00:26:09,634 --> 00:26:11,469
Sounds like
quite a full evening.
559
00:26:11,470 --> 00:26:13,637
I'm sorry, honey,
I just got caught up
560
00:26:13,638 --> 00:26:16,273
in this Keaton family
time capsule
561
00:26:16,274 --> 00:26:18,442
that Andy's making for school.
562
00:26:18,443 --> 00:26:19,811
Oh, sounds like fun.
563
00:26:19,811 --> 00:26:20,812
Can I play?
564
00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:22,813
Sure, Nick.
565
00:26:22,814 --> 00:26:24,382
Get in.
566
00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:28,352
And, uh, we'll let you out when
Mallory comes to her senses.
567
00:26:28,353 --> 00:26:30,353
Honey, honey, don't get in.
568
00:26:33,024 --> 00:26:36,327
Okay, forget it... I'll just make
my own family time capsule.
569
00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:38,762
I mean, that is if I did
have a family.
570
00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:40,931
Come on, Nick,
what about your dad?
571
00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:42,367
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
572
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:43,635
I sort of forgot about him.
573
00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:45,470
I mean, we didn't get together
until recently,
574
00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:47,470
and that was really weird.
575
00:26:57,749 --> 00:26:59,979
Hey.
576
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:04,787
Hey.
577
00:27:05,657 --> 00:27:08,993
Hey!
578
00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,595
Hey...
579
00:27:11,596 --> 00:27:15,032
My God, Elyse,
they're speaking Nickanese.
580
00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:21,473
Look at you.
581
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,241
You look great!
582
00:27:23,241 --> 00:27:25,176
Yeah, you look great, too.
583
00:27:25,176 --> 00:27:26,177
Yeah.
584
00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:29,380
I don't see what the problem is.
585
00:27:29,381 --> 00:27:31,515
They seem to agree on
everything.
586
00:27:31,516 --> 00:27:33,151
Hey-ey-ey...
587
00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,953
Hey.
-Hey.
588
00:27:35,954 --> 00:27:39,014
I think they're summing up now.
589
00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:44,561
Nick, no matter what happens,
590
00:27:44,562 --> 00:27:46,597
you'll always feel like
part of this family.
591
00:27:46,598 --> 00:27:48,930
Stop, Elyse,
I'm going to have nightmares.
592
00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:52,203
Do you remember when Nick
almost became
593
00:27:52,203 --> 00:27:53,805
a member of our family?
594
00:27:53,805 --> 00:27:55,607
When was that?
595
00:27:55,608 --> 00:27:57,675
Oh, honey, don't you remember
when we almost got married?
596
00:27:57,676 --> 00:28:00,770
Oh, yeah, yeah,
that was beautiful.
597
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:07,317
We're gathered here today
to join you, Erin,
598
00:28:07,318 --> 00:28:10,554
and you, Michael, in marriage,
599
00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:13,357
which is an honorable
institution.
600
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,693
It is the foundation of the home
601
00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:19,029
as the home is the foundation
of society.
602
00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:22,090
Oh, sounds serious.
603
00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:30,741
The desire to join together
in love with another human being
604
00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:33,744
is both noble and courageous.
605
00:28:33,745 --> 00:28:35,979
Nick, why are you getting
married?
606
00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:37,816
Because you asked me.
607
00:28:37,817 --> 00:28:40,984
No, I mean, if I hadn't asked
you, would you be here?
608
00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:42,854
By myself?
609
00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:46,123
Would you have asked me?
610
00:28:46,124 --> 00:28:48,692
Ah... I'm not sure.
611
00:28:48,693 --> 00:28:50,693
You know,
I'm not sure we're ready.
612
00:28:53,932 --> 00:28:56,233
Then why did you say yes?
613
00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:59,636
You know, you're so much smarter
about these things than me.
614
00:28:59,637 --> 00:29:02,139
I mean, you know, I figured
since you thought we were ready,
615
00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:05,342
we must be ready
and I just didn't notice.
616
00:29:05,343 --> 00:29:09,146
Nick, why doesn't it feel right?
We love each other.
617
00:29:09,147 --> 00:29:10,381
I don't know.
618
00:29:10,381 --> 00:29:11,916
Feels like
we're breaking the law.
619
00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:14,418
Yeah, yeah, like our wedding
picture's gonna go up
620
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,454
on a post office wall.
621
00:29:17,455 --> 00:29:18,890
Yeah, like you say,
we're starting
622
00:29:18,890 --> 00:29:20,525
with a couple of strikes
against us:
623
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:22,093
I mean,
your parents aren't here,
624
00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:24,062
our friends aren't here,
625
00:29:24,062 --> 00:29:26,062
this guy doesn't know "Lola..."
626
00:29:30,201 --> 00:29:31,603
Maybe my parents are right.
627
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:32,804
Maybe we're going too fast.
628
00:29:32,804 --> 00:29:34,639
Maybe we could slow down
a little.
629
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,608
I mean, we don't have to get
married if we don't want to.
630
00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:39,610
No, nobody can force us.
631
00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:41,246
Okay.
632
00:29:41,246 --> 00:29:43,181
Oh, Nick, I love you.
633
00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:45,181
Let's not get married.
634
00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:50,387
Mallory, you and Nick
are so romantic.
635
00:29:50,388 --> 00:29:52,157
You know, I've often caught
you guys looking
636
00:29:52,158 --> 00:29:55,793
into each other's eyes
with long meaningful stares.
637
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:59,863
Oh, no, Jennifer,
those are blinking contests.
638
00:29:59,864 --> 00:30:02,166
Hey, Jen, if you're looking
for romantic role models,
639
00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:05,302
don't go looking at He-Man
and She-Ra over here.
640
00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:08,405
And you happen to have the most
romantic person in the world
641
00:30:08,406 --> 00:30:10,407
living right here under
this roof.
642
00:30:10,408 --> 00:30:12,976
Why, thank you, son.
643
00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:15,078
No, Steven, he meant me.
644
00:30:15,079 --> 00:30:18,382
I beg to differ, darling...
he meant me.
645
00:30:18,383 --> 00:30:20,617
No, I'm the most romantic.
646
00:30:20,618 --> 00:30:22,886
Don't make me bust your chops.
647
00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:25,722
I was talking about me.
648
00:30:25,723 --> 00:30:28,926
I mean, I, uh, I have something
of a way about me.
649
00:30:28,927 --> 00:30:30,395
You may not realize this,
650
00:30:30,396 --> 00:30:34,398
but women think of me
as something of a Don Juan.
651
00:30:34,399 --> 00:30:36,890
More like a Don Knotts.
652
00:30:38,336 --> 00:30:40,171
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
653
00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:42,673
Remember when I first started
seeing Ellen?
654
00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,142
And I drove all night?
655
00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:46,643
I mean, I drove 400 miles
just to see her,
656
00:30:46,644 --> 00:30:48,644
to tell her how I felt?
657
00:31:02,727 --> 00:31:04,062
Alex?
658
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:06,697
Hey... Ellen!
659
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,099
What are you doing here?
660
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:11,235
I, uh...
661
00:31:11,236 --> 00:31:13,261
I, uh...
You forgot your Newsweek.
662
00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:23,213
I-I-I figured you might
want that, so I swung by here.
663
00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:25,149
It was no big deal, really.
664
00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:27,018
It was seven hours.
665
00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:32,322
There's a good article
on the omelet craze.
666
00:31:32,323 --> 00:31:35,559
I read someone else's copy
on the train.
667
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,757
I can't tell you how sorry
I am to hear that.
668
00:31:44,102 --> 00:31:48,338
Uh, Ellen, listen...
669
00:31:48,339 --> 00:31:50,641
to be honest with you...
670
00:31:50,642 --> 00:31:54,111
the magazine is not
the only reason I came.
671
00:31:54,112 --> 00:31:56,280
Why else?
672
00:31:56,281 --> 00:31:59,383
I don't know.
673
00:31:59,384 --> 00:32:02,519
I, uh, I just had to come.
674
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,722
I mean, I was in-in...
in the car,
675
00:32:05,723 --> 00:32:08,191
on my way
to the biggest night of my life,
676
00:32:08,192 --> 00:32:11,028
and something made me
turn the car around.
677
00:32:11,029 --> 00:32:13,897
I mean, I knew
I missed the dinner
678
00:32:13,898 --> 00:32:15,667
and I'd be blowing any shot
I had
679
00:32:15,668 --> 00:32:18,969
of returning this tux on time.
680
00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:21,336
Something made me turn
the car around.
681
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:28,378
Ellen, uh, you and I are
completely different.
682
00:32:28,379 --> 00:32:30,315
You're an artist.
683
00:32:30,316 --> 00:32:32,549
You write poetry.
684
00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:35,319
You attend anti-nuclear
demonstrations.
685
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,155
Me...
686
00:32:38,156 --> 00:32:41,191
I'm an economics major.
687
00:32:41,192 --> 00:32:44,895
I, uh... voted for Reagan.
688
00:32:44,896 --> 00:32:47,531
I'm in
the Young Executives Club.
689
00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:53,870
I-I wear a jacket and tie
everywhere I go.
690
00:32:53,871 --> 00:32:56,139
Except for train stations
at 3:00 in the morning,
691
00:32:56,140 --> 00:32:58,140
in which case, I wear a tuxedo.
692
00:33:01,079 --> 00:33:03,780
Anyway, the point is, Ellen,
693
00:33:03,781 --> 00:33:05,717
that I cannot,
for the life of me,
694
00:33:05,718 --> 00:33:09,720
figure out why I love you.
695
00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:11,955
You love me?
696
00:33:11,956 --> 00:33:15,625
Yeah, I love you, okay?
697
00:33:15,626 --> 00:33:17,028
I-I-I said it.
698
00:33:17,029 --> 00:33:19,629
I mean, after all, Ellen,
if I'm gonna go this far,
699
00:33:19,630 --> 00:33:22,599
I might as well go all the way.
I love you, all right?
700
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,763
I love you, I love you,
I love you.
701
00:33:28,306 --> 00:33:31,108
I'm crazy about you, I'd give
anything to be with you,
702
00:33:31,109 --> 00:33:34,311
I can't live without you, okay?
703
00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:36,312
Gotta go. See ya.
704
00:33:38,449 --> 00:33:40,051
I love you, too, Alex.
705
00:33:40,052 --> 00:33:42,052
I mean, it's like you have a way
706
00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:44,187
of seeing right through me.
707
00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:46,857
I'm seeing a part of me
that I-I don't ev...
708
00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:48,659
I don't even like
to admit exists.
709
00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:50,894
And that scares me,
because if you see it,
710
00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:53,163
that forces me...
What did you say?
711
00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:55,066
I love you, too.
712
00:33:55,067 --> 00:33:57,868
You do?
713
00:33:57,869 --> 00:34:00,137
Alex, I've never met anybody
like you.
714
00:34:00,138 --> 00:34:06,710
You come on like some pompous,
arrogant, obnoxious guy.
715
00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:13,350
And underneath that,
there's this wide-eyed child,
716
00:34:13,351 --> 00:34:16,319
completely innocent and naive.
717
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,390
Oh, is that...
718
00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:22,893
sort of a compliment?
719
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,158
Yeah.
720
00:34:27,865 --> 00:34:30,801
And just telling Ellen
that I loved her wasn't enough.
721
00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:33,303
I started doing anything
I could to impress her.
722
00:34:33,304 --> 00:34:35,363
Are you ready, Mikhail?
723
00:34:39,277 --> 00:34:41,277
Da.
724
00:34:44,582 --> 00:34:46,084
I'm ready.
725
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:48,644
What is it that you'll be
interpreting for us?
726
00:34:50,822 --> 00:34:54,191
This, uh, particular piece is
an interpretation
727
00:34:54,192 --> 00:34:57,992
of the Stock Market Crash
of 1929.
728
00:35:03,968 --> 00:35:07,337
What music will you be using
to accompany yourself?
729
00:35:07,338 --> 00:35:10,507
Uh, just, uh,
just play anything.
730
00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:12,772
Th-this dance goes
with everything.
731
00:35:20,718 --> 00:35:22,718
Maestro.
732
00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:31,161
Mr. Keaton, is something wrong?
733
00:35:31,162 --> 00:35:34,564
Uh, no, no.
734
00:35:34,565 --> 00:35:35,633
Why do you ask?
735
00:35:35,634 --> 00:35:38,435
Because you're not dancing.
736
00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:40,770
You see, at this point
in the dance,
737
00:35:40,771 --> 00:35:42,864
the economy is still good.
738
00:35:45,910 --> 00:35:48,778
In, uh...
739
00:35:48,779 --> 00:35:50,515
in a minute, the crash comes,
740
00:35:50,516 --> 00:35:54,451
interest rates rise,
and the dance really takes off.
741
00:36:38,796 --> 00:36:41,631
Alex, are you okay?
742
00:36:41,632 --> 00:36:43,201
I'm fine.
743
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:45,769
For my next number...
744
00:36:45,770 --> 00:36:47,904
You see,
I'm just that kind of guy,
745
00:36:47,905 --> 00:36:50,073
and when I met Lauren,
it was the same thing.
746
00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:52,576
I'd do anything to open up
and show my true self,
747
00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:54,478
even if it meant lying.
748
00:36:54,478 --> 00:36:56,380
Alex, this is just
a polygraph machine.
749
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:58,582
If someone displays
undue tension
750
00:36:58,583 --> 00:37:00,650
or an increase in pulse
when answering a question,
751
00:37:00,651 --> 00:37:03,753
the machine buzzes and I know
they're not telling the truth.
752
00:37:03,754 --> 00:37:05,822
Does it really bother you?
753
00:37:05,823 --> 00:37:08,325
Oh, no, absolutely not;
absolutely not.
754
00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:10,326
Uh, I got nothing to hide.
755
00:37:19,203 --> 00:37:21,203
Oh, good. It's working.
756
00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:24,641
Well, first I'd like to ask you
a few questions
757
00:37:24,642 --> 00:37:26,143
to see how well you'll fit in
758
00:37:26,143 --> 00:37:27,778
with the rest
of the subject group.
759
00:37:27,778 --> 00:37:29,680
Now politically,
would you describe yourself
760
00:37:29,681 --> 00:37:32,716
as liberal, middle of the road,
or conservative?
761
00:37:32,717 --> 00:37:35,419
Uh, well, I-I don't really like
political labels.
762
00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:40,890
Conservative.
763
00:37:40,891 --> 00:37:42,627
Thank you.
764
00:37:42,627 --> 00:37:44,028
Okay, overachievers,
765
00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:45,763
they tend
to meticulously plan out
766
00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:48,832
every aspect of their lives,
from graduation to retirement.
767
00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:51,434
Do you see yourself
as an obsessive planner?
768
00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:53,437
What, me? No.
769
00:37:56,374 --> 00:37:58,609
Well, I-I wouldn't say obsessive.
770
00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:04,446
I'm a planning maniac.
771
00:38:09,487 --> 00:38:11,955
Now, the typical overachiever
772
00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:13,957
is so focused on classes
and career
773
00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:15,959
that there's not much time left
for dating.
774
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,162
Would you say you have
a very active social life?
775
00:38:19,163 --> 00:38:22,999
An active, active social life?
776
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,000
Yeah, are you actively dating?
777
00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:35,512
Well,
778
00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:37,847
I go out on a couple
of dates a week.
779
00:38:37,848 --> 00:38:40,217
Maybe more.
780
00:38:49,226 --> 00:38:51,429
This particular week
was a little slow.
781
00:38:52,930 --> 00:38:55,399
This particular year
was a little slow.
782
00:39:00,204 --> 00:39:02,204
Oh, I'll get it.
783
00:39:04,208 --> 00:39:05,609
Hey, Skipper.
-Hello, Mr. Keaton.
784
00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:07,677
Come on in.
-Hi, hi, everybody.
785
00:39:07,678 --> 00:39:09,213
Andy told me
about his school project,
786
00:39:09,213 --> 00:39:11,115
so I brought over
my first aid kit.
787
00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:14,551
You're putting a first aid kit
in the time capsule?
788
00:39:14,552 --> 00:39:16,087
Time capsule?!
789
00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:18,087
I-I thought he said
a cold capsule.
790
00:39:20,558 --> 00:39:23,927
Uh, so, what's up, guys?
791
00:39:23,928 --> 00:39:25,429
Oh, we were just discussing
792
00:39:25,430 --> 00:39:27,931
how Alex is so romantic
with his girlfriends.
793
00:39:27,932 --> 00:39:29,600
Oh, well, did you discuss
794
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:31,701
how romantic he's been
with mine?
795
00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:33,970
What's this?
796
00:39:33,971 --> 00:39:35,506
I-I liked this girl named Jane,
797
00:39:35,507 --> 00:39:38,108
and, uh,
imagine my shock and dismay
798
00:39:38,109 --> 00:39:39,910
to discover
that she didn't like me.
799
00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:42,245
Actually, that's to be expected,
800
00:39:42,246 --> 00:39:45,409
but the fact that she liked Alex
took me by surprise.
801
00:39:46,584 --> 00:39:48,052
I'm gonna go wash my hands,
okay?
802
00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:50,320
Uh, you two get to know
each other a little better
803
00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:52,123
while I'm gone.
-Please don't leave me.
804
00:39:52,123 --> 00:39:54,123
Uh, Skippy...
805
00:39:55,926 --> 00:39:58,161
We're very close.
806
00:39:58,162 --> 00:40:01,399
Skippy,
I'll be right back, okay?
807
00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:17,980
So how long have you known Alex?
808
00:40:28,359 --> 00:40:29,827
I can't remember.
809
00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:32,430
Do you live next door
or across the street from Alex?
810
00:40:39,403 --> 00:40:41,404
Are you all right?
811
00:40:41,405 --> 00:40:42,640
You're not having
812
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,442
some kind of attack, are you?
813
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,442
No!
814
00:40:50,247 --> 00:40:52,216
Good.
815
00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:55,218
I'm really glad we had
this opportunity to talk.
816
00:40:55,219 --> 00:40:56,320
Great.
817
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,055
Hi, I hope I gave you two
818
00:40:58,055 --> 00:40:59,623
enough time alone together.
819
00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,225
I think so.
820
00:41:01,225 --> 00:41:02,493
Excuse me.
821
00:41:02,494 --> 00:41:05,758
Uh, I'm gonna go wash my hair.
822
00:41:06,931 --> 00:41:09,199
Skippy, you mean your hands.
823
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,634
Right, I mean,
824
00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:13,432
I'm gonna wash the hair
on my hands.
825
00:41:25,716 --> 00:41:27,716
He's quite a guy, isn't he?
826
00:41:29,019 --> 00:41:32,422
I'll say.
827
00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:34,691
I missed you
while you were gone, Alex.
828
00:41:34,692 --> 00:41:38,150
Uh, I was only gone
for two minutes, Jane.
829
00:41:40,197 --> 00:41:42,265
I don't know what it is
about you, Alex,
830
00:41:42,266 --> 00:41:44,468
but you bring
out the animal in me.
831
00:41:46,303 --> 00:41:47,738
Hope I'm not being too forward.
832
00:41:47,738 --> 00:41:49,738
I understand.
833
00:41:53,944 --> 00:41:57,573
Hi, we're here to pick up
a pizza for Keaton, please.
834
00:41:58,616 --> 00:42:00,616
Mallory, look.
835
00:42:03,387 --> 00:42:05,788
Jennifer and Mallory,
what are you guys doing here?
836
00:42:05,789 --> 00:42:07,891
Um, we...
837
00:42:07,892 --> 00:42:09,893
Come on over
and say hello to Alex and Jane.
838
00:42:09,894 --> 00:42:11,295
Uh, no, Skippy,
don't go over there.
839
00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:13,295
Why not?
-Um...
840
00:42:23,974 --> 00:42:24,975
I'm sorry, Mallory,
841
00:42:24,975 --> 00:42:26,975
but I'm spoken for.
842
00:42:28,145 --> 00:42:30,280
Better be getting back
to my date.
843
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:32,281
Uh, Skippy, don't...
844
00:42:35,185 --> 00:42:37,854
Uh, uh...
845
00:42:37,855 --> 00:42:39,356
I-I can explain this.
846
00:42:39,356 --> 00:42:40,858
No, Alex,
don't bother explaining.
847
00:42:40,859 --> 00:42:43,088
I-I think I can see
what's going on here.
848
00:42:46,664 --> 00:42:48,399
I've got a great idea.
849
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:51,000
You know what we're
in perfect formation for.
850
00:42:51,001 --> 00:42:53,570
A gang synchronized swim?
851
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:55,539
No, a sing-along.
852
00:42:55,540 --> 00:42:57,540
Oh, Mom, if you go
into "If I Had a Hammer,"
853
00:42:57,541 --> 00:42:58,809
I'm gonna lose it.
854
00:42:58,810 --> 00:43:00,977
Oh, come on,
a sing-along will be fun.
855
00:43:00,978 --> 00:43:03,446
After all,
we Keatons do it so well.
856
00:43:22,833 --> 00:43:24,833
Everybody!
857
00:44:17,187 --> 00:44:19,156
I'd like to sing for you,
if I might,
858
00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:21,157
uh, a song
that's very special to me,
859
00:44:21,158 --> 00:44:23,927
a song that asks
the musical question...
860
00:44:26,730 --> 00:44:28,730
Thank you.
861
00:44:31,869 --> 00:44:33,869
Thank you very much.
862
00:44:36,173 --> 00:44:38,173
Join me.
863
00:46:04,328 --> 00:46:06,797
Kiss me, Dad.
864
00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:53,500
Ripped By mstoll
865
00:48:12,990 --> 00:48:14,990
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
866
00:48:17,990 --> 00:48:21,990
Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com
62072
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