Original subtitles

I can't wait to see if I get pregnant.

Okay, so I just moved here with my folks, and seriously, I effing hate

it. This place is so boring.

My new school is a joke. I miss my friends. I miss my dumb ex.

The literal only good part about this whole move is that I confirmed this.

Cute, sweet, completely clueless guy from my AP History class is my next

neighbor. Time for phase one, the casual drop -in.

Cookies deployed.

Hi.

Daisy, right?

Hi. Yeah.

I know this is super random. I am Daisy.

Me and my parents moved across the street recently, and I know our moving

have been so noisy, so I wanted to bring you over a peace offering.

When I saw you yesterday, I was like, oh my gosh, that's a hero from my AP

history class.

Had to bring you these.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my mirrors? Come in. Come on in. Thank you.

It's hot out.

Come on in.

Have a seat, please.

Welcome to my place.

My mother is somewhere, but no baby.

Hi.

Sorry. Phone's ringing.

Sorry. I'm sorry about this. I gotta take it.

Hey honey, what's up?

How are you?

Nothing, I have a guest over right now. She brought me cookies and then it's my

neighbor.

What do you mean, what's your... It doesn't matter.

She's bringing me cookies.

Why do I have to explain?

What if...

Gosh, I'm just not allowed to have friends, am I?

Hold on. You know what?

I'm going to have to let you go.

I have to get this over.

I would like some cookies.

Oh, okay. Fine. Fine.

Okay.

Love you too.

Bye.

Wow. That sounded intense.

It seemed like you were being gross.

Yeah. Sorry about that.

That's Amber.

She was my girlfriend for a long while.

She can be filthy and clingy and possessive.

Exhausting. But jealous of her neighbor bringing peas off her cookies?

Like, my ex is possessive, but that's next level.

Yeah, possessive would be an understatement.

She tried to trap me. What, twice now?

Trap you?

David, what do you mean, trap you?

Man, trap, like a... Well, first time I caught her poking holes in the condoms.

And she did that, caught her red -handed, and she planned on getting

herself pregnant by me.

keep me there. She thought I was going to bail on her.

That was just the first time.

Wait. David, you're still with her?

After all that?

That's insane.

I know. It's exhausting.

I mean, I do care about her.

We spent so much time together. I have a long history and childhood sweethearts.

Gosh, I'm just afraid to... I don't want her to get hurt. No,

I just don't want her to get hurt. I don't want her to feel hurt.

Gosh, I'm sorry.

But what about how you feel?

You don't deserve that.

I think you deserve a lot better than Amber.

Yes, I do.

Damn. His girlfriend is a total genius.

She's evil.

Sure, but he's definitely effective.

He's so cute.

But God, he's a total pushover. No wonder she almost got him. Is

it bad that I kind of want to trap him too?

Maybe it's his vibe.

That sweet, obedient, future husband energy.

I mean, genuinely good guys who actually want to be a dad are...

Basically extinct.

A man like this is a trophy.

He needs to be protected. And 100 % locked down.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

A lot goes to the head and just broke up

with Amber.

Oh, God, I shouldn't have done that.

Oh,

my God, I'm so sorry.

I've been so lonely just moving here.

And you reminded me so much of my ex -boyfriend. I just, I really couldn't

myself. But I feel really bad.

I'll just go.

Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. Please don't go.

I mean, I'm sorry.

I know, moving is tough.

It's tough.

And I understand.

Wait, wait.

Shouldn't.

I should have put that on.

Sorry.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be...

Do you think I could take this off?

Yes.

Are you going to take me with your fucking wallet?

Yeah? Yeah?

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yeah, thank me for those fucking cookies, yes?

Oh, my God, yes, yes. Are you going to take me with your fucking wallet?

Yeah? Yeah?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Oh,

yes, yes.

Do I keep reading you like this?

So freaking sweet.

And he's so weak.

He thinks he's comforting me.

I'm totally going to lock him down. And I'm going to use that dumb, jealous

girlfriend against him. This plan is in motion.

Oh my God, Nathan. Seriously, I'm so grateful that you decided to help me

this history project.

I was so lost.

You're welcome. It's fine. It's all right.

It's easy stuff. I mean, you'll get a hang of it.

And really, it's not a big deal.

Hold on.

Hold on a second, Jen.

Just as I thought.

I gotta take this.

Sorry.

You know, I remember what's up.

I know.

It's been a few days.

I told you. We already broke up.

I'm... I'm gutting it right now.

I told you that. I mean, we're still talking even after we broke up.

What? Yes, I am. She's here.

She's my neighbor. She brought me cookies.

So how do you just say, no, we're not fucking on the kitchen table.

Where the hell did that come from?

What? It's wrong.

No, that's a rhetorical fucking question. All right? Don't even answer

Damn it. Let me work.

Uh -huh.

No, I'm not going to answer your other question. No.

No, I'm kidding. All right, bye.

Bye.

I'm not going to break this one. No, not this one. It's okay.

It's okay.

I'm not even going to want to look at it.

It's okay.

Steven, I'm so sorry. She's a walking, talking, toxic red flag.

You do not need that.

You're absolutely right.

Unbelievable.

That's really weird.

Let me get my... Thanks for being here.

Yeah, you don't deserve that.

I feel like she's ruining your life.

Like she's going to if you keep talking to her.

You're right. I'm getting white hairs from it.

They're thinking about her. And I'm doing the best I can. I'm all... I'm

Well, I feel like... I feel like you don't deserve that.

Definitely not the white hair.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Listen.

Thanks. You really chill me out a lot.

Really? Yeah.

That could make you feel even more better.

Yeah.

God bless you

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, yes.

Yes. Oh, indeed.

You don't have to pull out.

I have to clean this up. My parents are at home, so.

I know.

See you tomorrow.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh. Hi, David. Your parents, they just walked out. They told me to come wait

in here.

That you've been... having a hard time.

They wanted to give you your space.

How have you been?

Is everything okay? You haven't texted me in a week.

That was a lot.

That was a lot. And yeah, you're right.

I didn't feel guilty as all hell.

I don't really let you know that I broke up with him a while back, but now I'm

fine. This whole week I had

Just completely blocked her out of my life because she's just been awful for

But, yeah.

Wow.

I bet that's been a lot to deal with.

I was worried because you hadn't talked to me in like a week.

But I'm sorry.

I know you really liked her and you guys were dating for a long time. I can't

imagine how hard that must have been. I'm sorry. I haven't.

I can't believe that happened, David.

I'm terrible.

And... I know how much you liked her.

I'm sorry.

What is all this just different?

Oh. Um... Well... I'm just saying.

I knew that you were having a rough week. You hadn't talked to

me. And now that you're single, I think we should celebrate

your newfound freedom.

I still feel terrible.

Do you think I did the right thing?

I 100 % think you did the right thing. I mean...

She was crazy and so jealous. I could not imagine having kids with someone so

crazy and jealous and so volatile.

I mean, could you?

No, you're absolutely right. I mean, I don't feel guilty and I don't.

I feel sweet of you. Thank you.

I feel like you just deserve so much better.

Having kids with somebody like that is not what you want.

Don't you think you'd rather have kids with somebody like me?

I can feel how hard you are already.

I should have called you earlier.

Thank you.

Amazing.

What do I do? Where do I start?

I'm thinking too much.

What do you want to do? It's what you deserve.

Why am I wearing this shit, baby?

I came undressed properly.

Yes. Yeah?

It's way better than dating Amber.

Oh my god, you eat it way better than my ex could.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Do you think maybe I could return the favor?

Yes,

please.

Oh,

yes.

I don't

know.

Stay there.

On top of me.

Roll towards me.

That's right.

Oh, no.

Let me record this.

I'm sorry.

Oh, yes.

Oh, my God, you did it.

I see you get tighter and tighter.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing for me?

I want to be filled with your seed.

Why not? You're with me for a week.

This is what you do for me.

Oh, my God.

I had to come cheer you up.

Oh!

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Oh,

yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh,

yes.

Yeah, just like that.

When you're ready almost to meet the big world,

I want you to impregnate me.

Oh, you have to help me out right now. No.

Yes. Had it all.

Oh, my God. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm so ready for your come.

Oh, I want to receive your come. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

I think I'm falling in love with you.

Question.

Will you be my girlfriend?

I would love that.

Don't make a good mom.

Oh, gosh.

I can't wait to see if I get pregnant.