Original subtitles

Do it again? Yeah, Daddy.

Keep going.

Oh, my God.

Hi,

it's me. It's Mommy.

Because we gotta leave soon. You told me you were, but your dad just said you're

not. He's always 10 notes behind, though, so... He's still at the gym.

So who knows if we'll even get there. Danielle, your father?

Useless. I asked him to do one thing today. One thing. You know what? Just

me back, okay? Call. Do not text me.

Is he there?

Yeah.

I have this...

brunch thing that I have to get ready for. Oh, with another client?

Yes. Does he have hair?

Yes. Does he have teeth?

Yes.

How are you going to get through law school when you're busy screwing around

with these guys?

How are you going to get through law school when you're busy screwing around

with these guys?

It's fun.

Don't forget.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Come on.

Um, did you remember?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I really want to help you with your degree in law school and everything.

And I think it's really great to support females, particularly female

entrepreneurs who will be doing nothing with their business majors in sociology.

Okay.

Cool. In the future. Great.

Awesome.

Danielle!

Danielle! Please don't yell.

I just want to make sure that she sees us. You're embarrassing yourself.

Leave me alone.

Hi, Daddy. Hi, sweetie.

Listen, we could have given you a ride.

It's fine.

Um, why did you bring the van?

Your mother neglected to tell me that she was having her own car fixed.

I did tell him. I had to move all my products here to the back. As a matter

fact, there was no room for me to drive up front. Your mother had to drive. I

did tell you.

He doesn't listen, or he's got Alzheimer's.

How was the funeral?

Eulogies were shit. I like them. You like everything. You're wearing makeup.

You look nice with makeup.

Thanks. How do I look?

Um, you look great. Do I?

Yeah, Mom, you look good. You didn't say that in a very self -assured way.

No, you look great, Mom. Where'd you get that bracelet?

Um, I don't know.

Wow, that's expensive.

Yeah, I think you got it for me in, like, high school or something. Really?

Yeah. I'm amazing.

All right, shall we go in, everybody? What's my soundbite again? You know,

that. You're finishing up finals, and you've got a few job interviews lined

Although, Morris, you and our daughter Stephanie... Jessica. Whatever. She's

like this marketing executive kind of publicist thing. Assistant.

Exactly. You should really talk to her, you know? No. She doesn't want to talk

to her. She's not interested in marketing. It's just a job.

Why is Maya here?

Oh, my God.

We'll be here another hour.

Why did you put them like that in the first place? There's too much stuff to

in all at once. But listen to me a second, all right?

Why don't you just tell people that, you know, temporarily, you're going to be

working with me, with your dad, just until you find something better. No. No.

She's not going to say that. Why not? Tell me truthfully how I look. You look

good. Is the hair better?

Oh, shit. Deb, do you have my phone on you? No. You have Alzheimer's. Are you

okay? Yeah. Really?

Can I whisper something to you?

Okay.

No funny business with Maya.

What is that supposed to mean? You know what it means.

You're lucky I'm so open -minded. Okay, yeah, you're right. I should kiss the

ground you walk on for not kicking me out of the house. Stop.

You're not in our house. You're just on our payroll. Can we go?

Yeah, I've been waiting for you.

All right. Go.

Oh, now you don't wait for me. Ma, thank you.

Yes, it's so sad.

She was so full of life.

You know, she was so, yeah.

I'm like, oh.

Oh, Maya.

I mean, Danielle.

Columbia,

oh, my God.

That's fantastic.

It is, but it wasn't for Joy. You must be so proud. It's incredible, really,

honestly. What's your line of, that you're interested in hand -wielding?

Well, it's sort of like, it's like media, you know?

No. Oh, you look wonderful.

Abby would be so cool. Does Danielle want to go to law school or grad school?

Neither right now. She just got a few job interviews lined up.

That's great.

She lost so much weight.

Yeah, quite a lot. Is she okay?

I think she's just, you know, final stress.

Is she seeing anyone?

Not at the moment, no.

Is Maya seeing anyone?

Not at the moment, no.

How come?

Excuse me.

Of course.

I feel so bad for Debbie.

So good to see you. Thank you. Thank you for coming.

There's some bagels on the table. Oh, I'm going to go grab one. Yeah. Maya

she's changed her major at least a dozen times.

Do you think she has an eating disorder?

Who's that?

He's cute.

Janice and Maury's son. Max, I think.

Hi. Hi.

How are you? I'm good. How are you?

Um, I'm good.

I'm really good.

Yeah, you seem it.

You seem good.

Congrats on law school. That's really great.

Thanks. It only took you, like, four fucking months.

How's, um, babysitting?

Good. What are you like? Are you here this summer? It's just... I didn't know

that I was going to see you today because I thought that you would still

taking finals. I finished them yesterday.

And what? You said to, like, race home for your best friend Annie?

Abby.

That's what I said. Well, I interned for her in high school. Oh, yeah.

Of course you did.

Yeah, so my mom and I thought it'd be, like, good to be with the family in this

time. Show you off.

Very on brand for Catherine.

Were you, um... Were you even at the funeral?

Yeah. Really? Of course I was.

Yeah. Your dad was kind of, like, frazzled. I don't, um... He said you

running late.

Okay, well, if he said that, then why did you ask? You can't just, like, show

to, like, the after party for a shiva.

I... And, like, reap the benefits of the buffet. I didn't. I was there.

Were you, like, looking for me and asking everyone? No, I was not looking

you. Let's live in the truth.

Where's Danielle?

What was your favorite part of the service?

The whole thing was beautiful.

Interesting. You must just be so sad.

You must be really grieving your friend Annie. Well, actually, our families are

really close.

You know, um, she actually played bridge with my puppy.

Bubby? Yeah.

Okay, you've never met your grandma. Well, thank you for reminding me, Maya.

right. I'll be right back. It is so good to see you. We need to catch up. Yeah,

come find me.

Come find me. What?

Are you, like, thrilled to be home with your peak audience?

I'm not thrilled. I'm grieving. It's a funeral.

Maya. I know. I'm sad, too.

You remember Gloria.

Hi. Hi. I'm good. How are you?

Good.

Who died?

Abby.

Uncle Morty's second wife's sister. You remember her?

No, I don't think so.

She used to play bridge with Bubby.

Really? Here.

Oh, Mom, I can't eat that.

Why not? I'm vegetarian.

You're killing me. I've told you it so many times. You have not eaten a single

thing all day. That's because we just got here. You look like Gwyneth Paltrow

food stamps. Oh, my God. And not in a good way.

You know what Aunt Oz says? She says she thinks you're anorexic.

Danielle, are you listening to me? Hey, hey.

Oh, my God.

That's Paul and Cheryl Shapiro's nephew.

He's so cute.

You know what?

He has a cousin that works in publishing.

Maybe he can help you. Mom, stop. I have to go to the bathroom.

No, no, no. Let's go. Mom.

I don't want to. I'll go later. No. I didn't eat yet. Come on.

I'll get his number later.

No. Stop. No. No. No. Mom. Mom.

The problem is that interest rates and the economy don't... Hey, look who's

here. Hi, sweetheart.

Hi. Oh, my gosh.

Max worked for your father years ago.

Really? Yeah. Hi.

Uh, Joel is your father?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Do you kids know each other?

Yeah, we met a really long time ago. No kidding, how?

At the Beth Israel.

You met at Shul? Yeah, I was volunteering for...

The children.

What children? Really, I can't even get you to go to services with me. The

thing, it's, um, you can volunteer for the Jewish children. It's like an

organization. Aren't you too busy? I mean, like with school and then doing

babysitting and everything?

Oh, wow.

You babysit.

How often do you do that?

Just, you know, whenever they need me. They don't give you a schedule? No. No

schedule? No schedule, Mom. Well, do you enjoy it?

Yeah, I mean, depends on the kid, but it's a great way to pay the bills, so.

Bill?

You've never paid a bill in your life. I don't... You know what I mean. That

doesn't mean she's not responsible. I've paid bills before.

Listen, sweetheart, as soon as graduation comes, you'll learn all about

I'll make sure you'll understand. Right, but you're studying business?

No, not business. No, no. She's studying gender.

The business of gender. It's like gender...

business she does this fantastic program where you kind of design your own major

it's a little complex when it comes to finding employment but she's doing

terrifically well it can get a job for a lot of people yes yeah absolutely you

are going to make your own job right because you're so talented well now that

you're going to be going to law school you won't have to worry about that would

you get the idea about law no no that's maya maya is going to law school

danielle is Gender business. Yeah, I still don't exactly know what that

but she's great.

What's the post -grad plan, then? Well, are they taking care of you, making

enough money now from the babysitting? No, Dad, not nearly enough, considering

all the hard work that I'm doing. Well, it's a good thing that you don't need

the money. I'm saving up for something. Oh, yeah, well, what are you saving up

for? Your own apartment? Yeah, she's doing just that. Daddy's not going to be

paying for that apartment forever, you know. But she's very hardworking.

maybe you and Max could discuss this in more detail together.

Yes, yes. I mean, maybe he could help you find the ideal position. Yeah, I'm

sure he could. He can, but I already have a plan and a path, so I don't need

that. Look, sweetheart, feminism isn't exactly what I call a career. It's not

career. It's a lens.

Derwish, to see my career... Oh, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I understand.

There's acting and there's film, there's comedy, there's activism, there's all

that stuff, but you can't really support yourself as an adult through

babysitting, you know? I mean, sooner or later, you're going to have to narrow

it down to one thing. Don't you have a cousin who's in publishing?

Sam, sure.

Maybe he needs an intern.

Sure. Yeah, what'd it pay? Well, some stipend or something.

I mean, you could work out an arrangement, right? Get the family deal.

Yeah, exactly.

That would be great. That's a beautiful thing.

Oh,

look, they put the desserts out.

Hello.

Joel.

Excuse me. Let others go first.

You go to the gym in the morning, you eat your way back to lunch.

What are you going to do?

Danielle?

Yeah? Could you come with me to the kitchen for a second?

He's funny.

Don't go there.

He's not for you.

Go where?

Just try to behave yourself today. For me, please.

What are you talking about, Mom? I'm not going to blow him in the bathroom.

We are at Sheva. That's what I'm saying. I'm not going to do it.

And you can't go there anyway, because he's married.

He's married?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

To a Schick's apprentice.

What guy?

Thank you.

Thank you, Danielle.

So, your folks, they're good? They're still in front?

Yeah, they've become quite the snowbirds, actually. They bounce back

quite a bit.

Ah, that's so fantastic. I love that. I've been dying to get down there

To play my annual golf tournament. Oh, I didn't know you golfed, Joe.

Yeah, but I had major hip replacement surgery. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Partial. Yeah, but she won't allow me to get on a plane. Well, that makes sense.

It's probably a good idea.

So, how's your brother, Max?

Oh, he's good. He's, you know, he's... Yeah, he's your parent's favorite.

You're funny.

Just kidding.

I know.

Yeah, but he's good. He's doing really good at the practice.

And how's Kate?

Kim. Kim.

Yeah, no.

It's okay.

She's good. She's doing really well. She's on her way, actually.

Oh, that's lovely.

You know, I don't know how this escaped my mind, but didn't you guys have a baby

this year?

Yep. Oh, my God.

Fantastic. I love that.

What great news.

You have photos? Let's see.

Sure, of course.

Look at that.

Good on you, buddy.

Oh, she's gorgeous. Oh, what a beauty.

Oh, my goodness. I think you got a phone call.

Oh, sorry.

I'll be right back. Hello?

Hi, yeah, we're in the back. Let me come get you.

Cute baby.

You thought that baby was cute?

Yes. It was hideous, freakishly pale.

And no, no.

What the heck?

Where are you going?

Because she's got her own business. You know, maybe she can help Danielle.

I thought your mom was watching her. I know. She got sick.

What the fuck?

You want the baby getting sick? No.

This is why we need a new sitter. Okay, fine. Well, I'll find you a new sitter.

Hey! How are you?

Hi! Good to see you. So, congratulations.

Thank you. You're awesome, baby. I know. My goodness. We need a new sitter.

I know. I'll find one. Welcome, Debbie.

I know.

How's it going? This is the Glickman Brith. The Brith.

That's right.

That was fun.

Well, I mean, you know what I mean. It was good to see you guys there. Yes,

exactly. Oh, look at him.

What a nice button nose you've got. Good thing she doesn't have my nose.

Oh, my God. Look at those eyes.

She definitely got her mom's eyes.

Beautiful.

Oh, your jacket's dirty.

You didn't want to wear the one that I took to the drag queen? Uh, I guess I

couldn't find it. Okay.

You know what? Why don't I take her? See if we can get something to eat.

Oh, it's fine. It's fine. And, I mean, you'll get me something, right?

Yeah, totally. Here, can you have this shoe?

I'm sorry. Sure.

Been running around all day with this one.

Had a meeting this morning.

A meeting?

Yeah. Sunday?

What do you want, a bagel or something?

You know what I'd love?

Arugula. Ooh.

Oh, it's rugel, not arugula. That's what she said.

No, that's not what she said. She said arugula.

And you need your hearing checked, so... My hearing is fine.

Right. You just don't listen. That's your problem.

Thank you. You're a grown woman. I know.

It feels like just yesterday you were the same age as Mason. It's crazy.

I know he's going to be on Misfits later this year. I heard, yeah.

I went and I brought him a suit.

I've got to show you this. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

It's here somewhere.

Sorry. Sorry.

Now, look at it. Isn't this cute?

Of course, it has to be tailored.

Yeah. Because he gained a lot of weight.

Oh.

One sec.

Sorry. Just a minute.

Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you, but is there an open window or a fan inside?

Great. Thank you.

Danielle? Hi.

Hey, you.

You look stunning. Oh, thank you. Absolutely gorgeous.

So, any boyfriends?

Um, no, not yet, or right now.

You look so excited about graduating.

Yeah, I mean, like, I'm, uh, I have, like, some exams left, and then, um, I

some interviews that I'm gonna do. Really? You didn't tell me.

Where? I'm, well... I don't think you know the places.

Do you still make those little videos? I always thought those were so fun. I

haven't done one in a while. So acting is still your goal? No, it's like

stand -up.

What was your major again, sweetie?

No, no, she doesn't have a major, Mom.

She makes it up.

But you, like, got a diploma. I think it was politics.

Now, I'm trying to think if I know anybody. I always remember you were such

humanitarian growing up. You wanted to go on that trip and feed the homeless

teach English in the Orient. My major was sort of like women and gender

Oh, so you could run marches like what the pink pussy had.

Yes, exactly. That's such a good idea, right? You love to march and you love...

Our friend, Steve Epsky, his son was like you. He was studying what?

Philosophy or photography. One of those things. He was terrified,

naturally, about his future. I mean, he wasn't going to make any money, right?

But I mean, 20 years later, he's a brain surgeon.

You never know.

Yeah, you never know.

I might end up being a brain surgeon.

Yeah.

Oh, Sheila, I can do that. What?

I can take that for you. Oh, you are so lovely. Thank you, darling. Eli vomited

all over the kids. It's okay. Yeah, I've got it. Thank you.

Perfect. Babysitter to the rescue.

That's so sweet.

You're a darling. I can help you. It's fine. No, I want to help you.

Such nice girls.

Why do people even bring gifts to shippers? Here, let me help you.

I don't want to get it on you.

Thanks.

Weren't you wearing tights before?

No.

No?

Wait, why are you bleeding?

Really neat.

It just got caught on something. It's fine.

Well, you have an open wound on your leg.

Why do you keep looking over there?

Where? At the, like, skinny blonde woman.

I'm not looking at her. Okay, she's very pretty, but she's too old for you.

I don't think she's pretty.

Malibu Barbie's not pretty. I mean, she's just, like, basic, you know? Like,

she's just, like, generic looking. She's, like, generic pretty.

She could possibly be the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Seriously? I

just wouldn't be into her, is what I'm saying. She has, like, the essence I

in 15 years. What?

Like, boring.

Boring, like, wife who, like, doesn't have sex and is, like,

mean. No, she's like a hot businesswoman, basically a single mom,

out, but you can't tell. It's like fools.

She's not a businesswoman. Yeah, she is. She's an entrepreneur.

No, she's not.

Yeah, my mom told me she has like three businesses, but that's what I'm saying.

You can't tell because she's so chill about it.

Why does she have three?

Like, do they all just like fail?

Okay, you're projecting like a lot of misogyny for like a future Women's March

organizer.

What's going on?

What kind of company? It was like a stop down. What's that? What kind of company

was it?

Excuse me.

What are you?

Nothing. Thank you for helping me.

Not being weird.

Hi, Ma.

Hi, Ma.

Okay.

Why are you dragging me?

I thought you were a vegetarian.

I am. You said that you wanted me to eat.

Your behavior right now is completely unacceptable.

Okay, I think you need to relax.

Don't you tell me to relax.

You are flirting with everyone.

You are chugging wine. You are sitting on a table.

What is this? A party?

And I thought I told you no funny business with mine. I don't know what

means. Oh, yes, you do. Don't play dumb with me.

I thought you were done experimenting.

You think everyone that's by is experimenting. You don't know anything.

zero gaydar.

Excuse me, kid. I lived through New York in the 80s. My gaydar is strong as a

bull. Look at this waist. Oh, my God. Oh, my darling. How was spin class? Oh,

was good, but look at this one. Is she not eating? Right. How much did she

weigh? How much did she weigh?

Uh, I don't know. I don't know.

Do you want me to get out of scale?

You're so funny. Look at this.

You're okay.

You're okay.

Who the fuck brings a baby to a shiver?

She doesn't know. She's not Jewish. What do you mean? You told me she converted.

Converted. She murdered. She doesn't even know how to say work -a -la.

You know what?

I heard her dad was Jewish.

That doesn't count.

Well... Anyway, she's very charming.

They seem very happy, very happy, sweet couple. She seems like a pill to me.

She's very hardworking. Oh, yeah, okay, a hardworking pill.

You know what I don't understand? What? Nice Jewish appointment, married to

Schicksal, when you could have any wonderful woman here. Like, look at this

beautiful girl. Right? Like someone like this. Wait, sweetie, you got some more.

I'm just helping you. I'm just getting this off your face.

Anyway, the thing is, I think she's the breadwinner.

The breadwinner. And where do you think she got that money, maybe from his dad?

Maury? Maury.

Maury doesn't have a pot to piss in. Oh, because he's so generous. Everybody

knows his business is kaput. But that's not his fault.

Oh, look at you defending Maury. I forgot you have a crush on him. I don't

a crush on him. Don't be ridiculous.

He was just very kind at a time.

Very kind, yes.

Very kind.

A giant swan. And he shucks like a champ.

Don't answer that. When did you hear that? Don't answer that. Don't tell me,

I'd like to know at a later date. Excuse me, darling.

We're not going to talk about this anymore. Thank you. We're going to talk

it later. Thank you. Because Schickson might be able to get her a job. No, a

job. No, go. Mom. Of course, of course. Go, go. Don't be shy. Speak up.

This is my daughter, Danielle.

You want to hold her, sweetie? You can calm her down. You're a babysitter. Mom,

I'm okay.

Oh, somebody's very tired. You're a good sport, sweetie.

Well, everybody's crying at the shiva.

Hi, I'm Kim Beckett.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Matt's Rose.

Yeah, that was you not too long ago, sweetie.

Danielle is about to graduate.

Oh, congratulations.

Do you know what college you're going to yet? I'm in college.

Oh.

Actually?

Yeah, of course.

So, Joel was saying that maybe you have a job offer for her?

Yeah, we were just telling Kim what a fantastic babysitter you are. I'm

for someone.

I mean, it might be good to fill in part -time while you're looking for, you

know, whatever it is that you're going to do.

I mean, good babysitters are so hard to find. It's impossible.

It sure is. That's so nice of you to offer. I'm just, I'm actually fully

You've only got one family, right? I mean, they can't take that much time.

would you know that, Dad? You make your deposits once a month. It's not rocket

science.

Because there are, sweetheart, that's why.

Anyway, the point is that I think Danielle was more interested in an

job, like at your office, doing clerical work or something like that.

I mean, you're such an amazing entrepreneur.

A real self -made woman.

Yeah, it's fantastic. You've got so many different things going on all at once.

Terrific. I have to with his lifestyle.

Really?

That's funny. I never would have pegged you for a man of luxury, Max.

Oh, are you kidding me? Him and his friends go to the most ridiculously

expensive restaurants, don't you?

I mean, they're foodies.

I'm gonna get a cup of coffee. Oh, could you get me one? Sure.

Um, so, I don't know. If you change your mind, if you find yourself on some

time, I'm actually working from home right now. Oh. But I really could use

somebody to help with the organizing, scheduling, things like that.

I mean...

We could really tailor it to something that you like, if you think that would

suit you. Oh, that sounds wonderful.

No, that's so nice of you to offer. I just, I don't think that's anything that

would like. I don't really want to be, like, a girl boss type of, that's not my

thing.

But it's very cool that that's what you do.

Right.

Oh, that's so funny.

I have the same bracelet.

Really? Oh, thanks.

Would you look at that?

You do.

Ah, I guess we both have fabulous tastes. Well, you and Max.

I would say it's a little bit extravagant. Really?

But, um, that's him.

Was it a special present for your high school graduation or something? Yeah, I

think so. It must have been. Yeah, something like that.

Sure. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were in college. I am.

It's just that it's a new collection.

What are you doing over there?

Listen, if you guys need a ride, I happen to have the van outside.

Sweetie, are you sure we got you that bracelet? Yeah. I mean, I can't afford

that, though, you know.

We can't afford it either.

You said it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. It must have been you. It had to be.

Whoa, somebody's popular.

Is he gone?

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Did any of it get on him?

She's okay. Are you okay? It's okay. It's okay.

Sweetie, come with me.

I'm so, so sorry. Is she all right?

Well, thank God Sheila's coffee is always lukewarm. Or you'd have third

burns, you know.

Are we allowed to use that?

Just so.

God will forgive us. It's too crazy in there.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It happens.

Mommy?

Yeah, Bubba?

Are you disappointed?

What? No.

Um, sorry.

Excuse me.

Bye, Gloria. Have a nice week.

You're not...

Sheila, um, I can help you with these chairs. Oh, you're an angel.

I feel it.

Okay. We're having a conversation. My cleaning lady got the flu yesterday, and

it's just the worst timing. All right, all right.

Thank you.

If you can put them up against that wall over there, my dear. Yeah.

Hey, I can help you.

Yeah.

Thanks. Mm -hmm.

Nice cum, Sam.

Seriously? You need to be less sensitive, okay?

Excuse me.

Wait, you need to stop biting here and help. Can you stop?

Yeah, this is so pretty.

Where did you get it? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I don't

know. You don't know? Wait, sunglasses.

Did you buy it with your babysitting money?

You're being a bitch.

I'm not being a bitch. Hi.

Stop.

Hi.

Hi, I'm Max.

Ma. Are you, um, Danielle's cousin or sister or something? Because you guys

really similar.

Uh, no.

But we do kind of look alike. It's kind of like that we grew up together.

Oh, so kind of like family.

I don't know, we went to prom together.

Oh, that's so sweet.

It is so sweet.

You're right. She was, like, late and brought me a dead corsage. It wasn't

It was fully a dead flower.

Oh. I feel like you two had a really fun prom.

You bet that we did, yeah.

I know, we, like, had a limo. Yeah, he spiked a punch, you know, like, puking

everywhere. And we, like, fucked.

She had her first orgasm.

What? It was a night to remember.

Oh, sorry, Mort. Hey, Mort, how are you?

Okay. Good to see you.

It's like sisters.

Yeah, like a good sister fucks her sister. What the hell? Are you in the

well? Oh, no, absolutely not. I'm going to law school. Oh, you're the one going

to law school.

As a what?

Do you know me?

Danielle hasn't told us what her post -grad plan is.

Yeah, I did. I said I have interviews lined up.

Some other babysitting gigs?

Or maybe you'd just be sticking with the one.

No, Danielle doesn't need to work.

Because her parents pay for everything while she does her, like, art thing.

Really? So... You must be really in love with this kid.

If you don't need to be getting paid.

I'm sorry, how do you guys know each other?

Oh, we met in Temple.

We met at Julia.

Why... You never go to a temple. I go sometimes.

So now you're just like a deeply religious person. You can go without

super religious. You can be regular religious and go.

Questionable. Maya?

Oh, okay. Bye. Nice to meet you.

You're full of surprises today.

So are we good?

Yeah.

Why wouldn't we be?

So have you seen the new rabbi?

If Robert De Niro and Gene Kelly had a Jewish baby.

Cute. So cute. For you cute or for Danny cute? For all of us cute.

Cute is cute.

But I want someone good for Danny. Well, of course. I'm trying to find someone.

I know. Well, you can. Hey. You're back.

Hi. Aw, so sweet.

Hi. So, are you seeing anyone?

No. No one we want to discuss right now.

What?

I thought you'd be swatting the boys away like flies.

Well, I wish you would swat them away a little harder. I swat.

Don't listen to your mother.

Have fun.

Enjoy. Enjoy this little, little body.

I want her to enjoy her little, little body, but get a vibrator. Don't get a

relationship. I just want her to... Finish your finals.

Of course.

Yeah, that's true. It's true. Listen to your mother. Right. And don't marry

anyone until you've loved, like, what? At least ten people. Maybe less. Because

you're going to end up with one, and you'll be wiping his arthritic ass for

rest of your life.

You know who I ran into recently whose son will be perfect for her? Yeah. Who

did I run into?

Danny. You know, that guy. Tell her. Tell her.

No, Mom, I don't want to. I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, you tell her.

What are you worried about? I don't know.

She's acting a little strange. She is a little different.

Just off.

Off? Yeah. Like distracted?

Like distracted.

Distracted, but distracted.

It's treatable. Very distracted. It's not a disease. That's true.

Just a second.

Oh, what a day.

Hey, Danny, sweetie.

Are you okay? Yeah, can we go? Like, now, please? Yeah, if you can drag your

father away from everybody.

Okay, I'll do that.

What?

Thank you for coming.

Yeah, well, you asked me to be here, so whatever. I know, and I know it's not

something that you like to do, and obviously, and I just want you to know

appreciate it, okay? You're welcome. You are such a good kid. Thanks. You're

welcome. How did I raise such a good girl?

Are you on drugs? No, just kidding.

No, really, you are such a good girl. I love you. I love you too, Mom.

Oh, my God. Wait a sec. I haven't had a chance to catch up with you yet. How are

you? Where did you go, Danielle?

Where did you go? You're skin and bones.

Yeah. What are you up to?

I'm starving yourself to death.

Just... Um, studying.

Do you have a boyfriend?

No. Ah, really?

I don't believe you.

I have nothing serious. So you just study and don't eat and

go out with your beautiful friends, is that it? Is that your life?

Yeah, yeah, that's my life.

Wow, lucky you.

Um, can you... Excuse me, I haven't eaten yet. I have to go

un -starve myself.

Are you okay?

I'm like...

What?

Nothing. What? What is it? What? It's literally nothing, okay?

Well, you're laughing, so it's so fucking funny. Nothing's fucking funny.

Nothing's funny. Okay.

Okay, I, um... I miss you, okay?

And I was, like, excited to see you, but, like... Great, whatever.

It's whatever. Fuck. I'll fuck off.

Okay, I miss you, too.

Sick.

That's awesome.

Cool. Cool. Great.

Awesome.

Well, I wouldn't know because you literally never text me. That is simply

true. I text you all the time. I didn't even know you were coming to that. Well,

you don't text me either. I replied to your fucking story and you just saw it.

You do not reply to a reply, okay? Well, you should. That's psychotic behavior,

but that makes sense for you. Why don't you fucking reach out? I just told you

that I did. I told you that I reached out. Okay, well, why don't you just call

me like an adult? Nobody calls, though. Well, grow up.

Be different than other people.

Okay, cool.

I'll see you later.

You can go ahead

Uh -huh.

It was Lucy's graduation present from me. Oh, that's really nice.

Can I see?

Oh, you guys are at the Holocaust Museum.

You look so happy.

I'm just wondering.

Uh -huh.

How old is she?

Oh, she's 18 months.

Mm -hmm. Mm.

You two know each other because of your parents?

Yeah.

No.

No.

We met at shul.

Yeah, shul.

Or did we?

I can't remember.

And this is us in Israel at Mason's Bar Mitzvah.

I mean, Israel, Palestine, whatever they're calling it now, I don't know.

That's a nice photo. Isn't it?

I love it.

Danielle, Danielle, listen, can you call my phone? I lost it. I can't find it

anywhere. Yeah, sure.

Shit, I don't have my phone.

Right. Never mind. I'll ask your mother.

Deb?

Deb?

You have a pacocta memory.

You keep losing everything.

So? Maybe I do have dementia.

Yeah, you've had dementia since our wedding day.

Anybody can forget a ring, you know. It's not such a big deal. You know what?

Look for your own phone. It's probably by the desserts.

Thank you.

Hey. Hi.

Have you seen my phone?

No.

Shoot, I'm looking.

I'm trying to find it because I need it right now. I'm like... Why do you need

it right now?

Um, I just, like, told, um, someone that I met here that I would send them my

resume. Oh, it feels like you have so many job prospects.

I'm sure you could find more here, you know?

Okay, so you haven't seen it, or you... I don't know. I might have seen it,

like, in the kitchen or in the bathroom, but...

You might want to find it before, like, somebody else does.

Oh, Danielle, I need your help. I'm running out of luck. One second.

Get the fuck off me.

Please don't tell anybody.

Please.

Danielle, I love your parents.

I just wouldn't want them to know their daughter's a fucking whore.

I'm sorry.

Danielle! Jerry called the toilet again, and the place smelled like shit.

Bula Bula, where are you running off to? Look at this baby.

So adorable.

Sleeping like a baby.

Here's the goal.

Sweetie, you don't have to worry. I found my phone. You don't have to think

about looking for it. She was never worried about your phone.

How long have you guys been together?

Almost five years.

And how did you meet?

Online.

You're very curious, aren't you?

I'm just wondering how female entrepreneurs do it all.

Well, you need a great support system.

Right, you need a husband who's supportive of young female

Right.

I'm surprised you're able to work from home, you know.

Where do you live again?

I mean, we've always had this, the whole apartment.

How could we let go of that? It's just the best location.

But a few months ago, we got the house out here.

Just seemed like the logical next step, especially if we're going to have

another kid.

Oh, baby.

Another wonderful baby.

Wonderful. I wish I could have my own bachelor pad where I could do whatever

fuck I wanted.

Hey, Danielle.

What the hell are you doing?

He's just teasing. He's got such a crazy sense of humor sometimes.

Are you drunk?

Do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

Well, girlfriend.

She's experimented. No,

no.

It's just so hard in my generation because there's just weird,

ways of meeting people. Sure, sure. Stuff like that. Oh, darling, what are

so... Of course, you're going to find somebody soon.

Listen, J -Date has been fantastic.

Have you tried J -White? A little bit of lipstick, a little bit of lipstick.

I'll tell her that about the lipstick.

You know what, sweetheart?

I'm absolutely convinced it's going to be much, much easier now. She had kind

an extended awkward phase, you know? She had the braces, and she was kind of

chubby for quite a while. A little chubby. It was this boy.

She had a thing for him forever, for the longest time. His name was... Michael,

right? And she asked him to the dance, and I guess he said no.

And, like, everybody at school knew and saw.

And I picked her up, and it was so sweet. The whole ride home, there were

little tears coming down. I felt bad, but, you know, like, she's my baby, but

everybody goes through it. You know, it'll happen to your girl. You're such a

cute baby.

Do you remember the song we used to sing? Of course.

Baby shake. Baby shake. When she was Rose's age, we used to think that baby

shakes go on whenever she cried.

That's what we should have been doing with Rose. Let's make a baby shake.

Let's make a baby shake.

Let's make a baby shake. Can you let go? No, I'm never going to let go. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Let go.

Danny, take it easy.

Everything's okay. Oh, it's okay.

Yeah, it's okay.

Go, go, go, go.

I'm going to talk to him.

I know you don't believe in me. I know that you think that I'm not going to do

anything, and you think I'm a little baby.

I don't think that you're a little baby, and I... Oh, my God.

Thank you very much for joining me and the Feldmans in their time of mourning.

If you would please join me in reciting the Mourner's Kaddish.

Yikadal ve 'yikadash meraba.

Be 'alma divra chirutei ve 'yamlich molchutei. Be 'chayachon ve

'yomachon ve 'chayei dechol bet Yisrael.

Be 'agala we 'zman kariv ve 'yimruk amein.

Ya 'ei shemei rabam ura, le 'alach olamei almayach.

Shabbat Shalom

Thank you very much.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

What?

You know, I think...

I think it would be best if we, um, ended this.

Sure. Yeah.

We probably should before your wife runs out of money.

Um, is there a second bathroom?

Someone is taking forever in this one.

Um, I think there's one upstairs.

Oh, you've got to speak up.

There's another bathroom upstairs.

Forget it.

I'll wait till I'm home.

Excuse me.

I think we should get going soon.

Sorry. Dad, can we go, please?

Yeah, sure we can. Just go ask your mother.

Mom, can we go now?

Sweetie, I'm talking to the rabbi.

Don't be rude.

But, yes, we can. You want to take these books back, and we'll get going. Don't

worry.

Hey, Danielle.

This is yours.

Um, yeah.

I found it in the bathroom.

Thanks. Thank you.

Yeah.

Can I borrow you for a second?

She's really hungry, and I need an extra pair of hands.

Can you hold her?

You really want me to... I just need you to hold her for a second. I've got some

stuff in the bag.

Be very helpful.

I shouldn't, you know. Why?

You're a babysitter, right?

We're going to go in a second. Your parents are still here. You're leaving

them, aren't you?

I really only work with, like, eight -year -olds. Well, it's not brain

Just hold her.

Um... It's fine. You'll be fine.

Here, let me... It's okay. Can you call the car? Yeah, I can do that. Honestly,

can you do that? Yeah, but I can do both. I just think... Fine, call the car

first. I can do both. I'd like you to call the car. Bye, Honor.

She's a babysitter.

Remember? I remember.

What is wrong with you?

Honestly, stop.

Stop!

That's 40 years of fasting.

It's only 200.

No,

no, no, you don't have to worry about that. Can we get a broom, please?

Danny.

Sweetie.

Danielle, stop.

What are you doing?

Danny, stop.

Come on.

What are you doing?

What's going on, sweetie?

Bubbler, Bubbler, you talk to me.

I can't. Talk to me. Talk to me. You can't what?

I can't.

You can't. I can't. You can't what, Danielle?

What?

I know what you're doing.

No, I don't know.

You don't need to know. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Everything's going to be fine.

You're going to get a great job.

You're going to meet a great man.

You're going to fall in love.

Just, you're going to figure it out. Listen, worst case scenario, you can

back in with Daddy and me. No.

Everybody's looking loose.

Are you okay?

It's a little mushy, isn't she?

It's very mushy. What is wrong with you? Thank you, Maya.

Um, you know what?

I'm going to go get Daddy. Have him bring the car around for us, okay?

And you just get out of here by going and helping Mrs. Bronstein out. Yeah, I

can help, too. Thank you. Thank you, Maya.

All right.

Don't you worry about anybody here. They all love you. It's a sad day, you know?

It's a sad day, a lot of sadness.

Everybody feels it.

Mrs. Bromstein, which one is your car?

You'll see in a minute.

Can I ask you something?

What? Um, why do you do it?

No, I'm not judging. I mean, you clearly are. No, I'm not. I just don't know

anything about it. I wanted money, and it was easy.

Was it?

Yeah, sometimes.

It felt nice to, like, have power and be, like, appreciated.

You can just put those in the front seat.

Thanks. Do you need help?

Oh, no.

Thanks, girl.

Do you want me to pull out for you?

You drive a car?

Yeah, I think I'm a pretty good driver.

Oh, thank you. No.

All right.

Be safe.

Wait, doesn't she have an expired license?

Yeah, they took it away.

She's not supposed to do that.

Whatever.

Hey, I'm really sorry.

It's fine.

I just never thought about it that way.

No, get in, Maureen. Danielle!

What? You coming?

I'm literally walking towards you, Dad.

Sweetie, get over here before somebody sees the car.

Where were you? I was looking all over. We were helping Mrs. Bronstein to her

car, Mom.

Why? Why? Because you're supposed to help fucking old... people i don't know

don't you dare use that language or that tone with me young lady catherine maya

you guys need a ride no that's okay we'll get a car oh come on we got an

van fine mom they'll have two seconds hey

aren't

we giving you two a lift three

Oh, no.

No, it's okay. We're getting a car, so... Thank you. Come on. I got the

That's Uber Alice. Let's go.

Joel, they got a car.

We got Maureen. But he's right around the corner. He's... Okay.

It's my phone. Okay, where is it?

It's somewhere in here. Okay, let's go. Where is it?

It's somewhere in there. Honestly, you guys have so many people.

Between all of you, and we would have to strap her in and all of the things.

When we were all her age, there was no straps, there was no carriers.

Everybody else survived.

Come with us.

Oh, for the love of God.

I'm getting in the car.

Sure.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Youngest in first. You guys to the backy -back. Seriously? Come on. Here.

Wait, sorry. You've got to lift up the middle seat. I forgot.

All right.

You have to pull the lever. I'm literally pulling the lever.

Do you want me to do it? No, I got it. Come on, Maya. You got to use some

muscle, you know.

You got it? Yeah.

Okay, who's next?

Kim, Mac?

You go first.

Okay.

Terrific. Catherine, you think you can fit in on that same seat? Here we are.

Thank you.

Scoot over.

Hold on.

Okay, last one is Maureen.

Shit, I think I might have overbooked that. No, shit.

We can just get a car. It's not a big deal. No, no, no, listen. When we get

there in the backy -back, and then Maya and Danielle, can you guys squeeze

together into one seat? I mean, you're pretty small, right?

Really, Joel? We could take a car. No, no, no, no. This is going to work.

Believe me. I promise you, no man left behind.

Or woman. Sorry. You okay back there, Maya?

Got a lot of stuff back here, Joel.

All right. You guys comfortable?

Get your legs around where he can stay.

All in.

Off like I heard a turtle.

Maureen. Oh, thank you.

Oh, shit.

You don't have your phone again.

I got it.

What? Let's go. Let's go, Joel. Yes, just find my keys.

Here we are. Okay.

Everyone ready?

I'll kill you when I get home.