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My name is Nadia.
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I am from Ukraine.
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Back home, winters are dark and cold.
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I prefer to escape somewhere warm...
5
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...and return in the spring,
when life wakes up again.
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This year was different.
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It s fucking hell!
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The winter of 2022 never ended.
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I did not want to make a war film
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Every winter I go to Dahab in the Middle East...
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...to avoid the gloomy skies in Ukraine.
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I love the sun, the sea, the animals.
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Hello!
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Wherever you go, there is a dog waiting for you to pet it.
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Many dogs.
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Your hands are always busy.
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This is Ilija, my husband.
Ilija, hajde... get up.
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Are you going to sleep?
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You don t seem to be getting up.
-I am. -So look at me!
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Are you even there? Who am i talking to?
Get up!
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Ilija is not as excited about Dahab as I am.
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But there is one thing he definitely appreciates.
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A gorgeous tamarind tree.
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At our place in Kiev,
we also have a tamarind.
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It is the most beautiful and the most fragile of our home plants.
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Every time we leave, someone has to take care of it instead.
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Ilija misses our tamarind a lot.
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I miss it too.
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Otherwise, Dahab is perfect for me.
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It used to be.
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On February 24, I woke up
from my mother's call.
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She sent me a video of my hometown being bombed.
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Shit, there s a fuckload of them there.
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Russia had started a full-scale invasion of my country.
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Moron, a moron you are!
Idiot, a fucking killer!
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All of my family, friends and colleagues were in Ukraine.
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I was away, unable to help.
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Can you see how many people came out?
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Dahab was safe, but it felt like prison.
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I so wanted to help, but there was so little I could do.
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I felt guilty, lonely and endlessly helpless.
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The only thing that remained was the news from home.
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An increased level of cesium is found in Kijev.
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A �ta to zna�i?
-To zna�i da...
45
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To zna�i da... Mogu�e da
dolazi iz �ernobila.
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Mogu�e, zbog vatre.
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Who the fuck knows what these Russians are doing there.
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One of those nights I had a dream.
49
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I saw a road.
50
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It led to some new place.
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A place that I had never seen before.
52
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Suddenly, I recognized it.
53
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It was Ukraine at war.
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Strangely, I felt relieved.
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For the first time since the beginning of invasion, I felt something positive.
56
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As if some outer force was giving me a hint and pulling me out
57
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of my paralysis.
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Ilija had a different feeling.
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00:05:07,019 --> 00:05:10,265
To him, going back to Ukraine was short sighted,
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impulsive and simply unsafe.
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He didn't want to go with me.
-Ne idem.
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He didn't want me to go.
-Don t stay long in Poland.
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Better yet, don t go through Poland.
Go through Budapest.
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Hungary is a Russian alley.
They will not bomb there.
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He started being sarcastic.
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He could not say it explicitly...
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but what he really meant was the fear of losing me.
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Yet, he had to accept my choice.
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Everywhere on my way,
I saw tired women with kids.
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Their eyes could not hide it.
They have been through hell.
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All of them were headed west.
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I was the only one who went the opposite direction.
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Home...
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My home was 500 kilometers from the border.
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I had to make a layover and stay with my family.
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The first person I met was my cousin.
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He had to abandon his dinner because of the siren.
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I followed him to the bomb shelter.
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When the city was bombed,
he spent five hours in here.
80
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Now he is well prepared.
81
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:09,227
Look what we have here.
A Bandera-style knife.
82
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What is it for?
-To cut through the foam.
83
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Is this in case of debris?
-Da, if you get stuck here.
84
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The most peaceful guy on earth.
85
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He got himself a gun.
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Playing an American cop.
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That s it.
88
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You can just stand casually.
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For the first time in my life i m holding a real weapon.
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This is my grandma.
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She takes her own safety measures.
92
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She keeps the names of all people in our family on the list.
93
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Both alive and dead.
94
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This way she makes sure not to forget them in her prayers.
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Hana, Natalija, Taras, Nadija,
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Andri, Nazarij, Ivan,
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Halina, Kristina, Ilija, Kristina.
98
00:08:13,674 --> 00:08:18,244
Sometimes she also prays for neighbors, friends and those in need.
99
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:23,818
When the war broke out,
grandma's notebook got full.
100
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Ivan.
101
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Katja. Anton.
102
00:08:29,297 --> 00:08:32,539
Andriju�a. Oksana.
103
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Nata�a. Senja.
104
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,796
Julija. Sa�a.
105
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:46,014
These are my friends from Central and Eastern Ukraine who had to flee the war.
106
00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:50,983
Grandma's place became
their temporary home.
107
00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:54,543
Oksana, Andriju�a and Nata�a...
108
00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:59,527
fled from a small town of Bila Cerkva after a massive shelling.
109
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:04,493
Katja, Anton, baby Ivan
and the cat Kuzja...
110
00:09:04,693 --> 00:09:09,716
spent five endless days in the bomb
shelter on the left bank of Kijev.
111
00:09:09,973 --> 00:09:12,023
They decided to flee.
112
00:09:13,184 --> 00:09:18,576
Kapa, Ljo�a and the cat Feliks fled from the town of Slovjansk in the east.
113
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Their city is 10 miles away from the front-line.
114
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,494
All locals were asked to evacuate.
115
00:09:27,424 --> 00:09:33,106
Senya, Julija and Sa�a survived three weeks under the siege of Mariupol.
116
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,540
Miraculously, they managed to escape.
117
00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:40,549
At one of the crossroads,
118
00:09:40,649 --> 00:09:43,524
there was a huge puddle of blood,
three metres or so,
119
00:09:43,724 --> 00:09:46,850
and human brains. I remember how Senja said that
120
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it was the first time he saw brains.
121
00:09:50,912 --> 00:09:54,118
Aviation has arrived! O jebote, the rocket fell down here!
122
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:57,293
A single rocket made a such huge destruction!
123
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:05,475
Senja, Sa�a's and Julia's son, is hard of hearing.
He rarely talks.
124
00:10:05,575 --> 00:10:10,048
He wants to show you a piece of a missile.
125
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:16,765
This is the only non-practical thing he was allowed to bring from home.
126
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,781
Tamarind is not feeling well.
127
00:10:22,881 --> 00:10:25,965
Some parts are more or less fine,
but the ithers dried up,
128
00:10:26,065 --> 00:10:28,213
especially these parts at the top.
129
00:10:28,313 --> 00:10:31,289
Perhaps it dried up when i wasn t here.
130
00:10:31,389 --> 00:10:37,056
But if you look at this part, it s ok.
131
00:10:37,156 --> 00:10:41,517
This leaf is all right. This one is damaged, though.
132
00:10:41,617 --> 00:10:44,735
How are things in Kijev?
What s the atmosphere like?
133
00:10:44,950 --> 00:10:49,133
The other day i was walking in the city,
trying to remember all of it.
134
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,694
I kept thinking, what if this building will be destroyed,
and this one, too?
135
00:10:52,794 --> 00:10:56,373
I have to remember them all.
But what if Maidan gets ruined?
136
00:10:56,473 --> 00:10:59,498
And then i thought, maybe it s not so bad?
137
00:10:59,598 --> 00:11:03,687
Maybe all ugly things will get destroyed?
Like that monster house?
138
00:11:03,787 --> 00:11:06,856
Let them bomb that monster house in the Podil area, right?
139
00:11:33,749 --> 00:11:39,688
Here i have dearest hopes,
140
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impossible not to love you,
141
00:11:44,114 --> 00:11:48,695
moj Kijeve!
142
00:11:50,183 --> 00:11:52,925
I was euphoric to be back.
143
00:11:53,168 --> 00:11:58,821
Unlike many people in Ukraine now,
i still had a home.
144
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:04,193
My home was whole, undamaged,
ready to accept me.
145
00:12:04,639 --> 00:12:06,828
As if nothing had happened.
146
00:12:07,029 --> 00:12:09,919
As if the war did not exist.
147
00:12:14,313 --> 00:12:16,816
Unfortunately, it did.
148
00:12:42,455 --> 00:12:46,823
When the war started, my friend Oksana was at her home in Bu�a,
149
00:12:46,923 --> 00:12:48,863
Kijev's suburb.
150
00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:53,021
She had to spend two weeks in the basement hiding from Russians.
151
00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:57,205
One day, she managed to escape.
152
00:12:59,894 --> 00:13:05,004
Once Bu�a was freed, she asked me to check on her place.
153
00:13:21,305 --> 00:13:24,467
I have asked - they are just blocking things
154
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:26,571
to be able to check them later.
155
00:13:26,671 --> 00:13:28,735
But nobody knows when the gas will be on.
156
00:13:28,835 --> 00:13:31,343
As regards the electricity, they have no clue.
157
00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:33,680
They came all the way from the Vinicja region.
158
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,355
Do you live in this house?
-Da, da.
159
00:13:36,455 --> 00:13:38,467
In the second entrance.
160
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,441
There were just two of us who stayed.
161
00:13:44,271 --> 00:13:47,834
What was happening here in the past few weeks?
162
00:14:17,754 --> 00:14:21,107
Ihor Litvinenko; Temporarily buried
05.04.2022
163
00:14:26,618 --> 00:14:29,987
Civilians live here
164
00:14:31,197 --> 00:14:35,057
Dear people, i could never imagine this.
I could never imagine such things.
165
00:14:35,157 --> 00:14:39,506
My my children, my grandchildren,
my great-grandchildren never see
166
00:14:39,606 --> 00:14:41,676
what we have seen here.
167
00:14:41,776 --> 00:14:45,306
There were people raped here.
168
00:14:46,648 --> 00:14:50,122
At our neighbor s.
169
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,905
The worst thing, those were young fellows,
170
00:14:53,005 --> 00:14:55,255
19, 20 years old. Unbelievable.
171
00:14:55,355 --> 00:14:58,509
One of the women, our neighbor,
172
00:14:58,609 --> 00:15:01,206
she is 41 or 42.
173
00:15:01,306 --> 00:15:03,510
She has a 19-year old son.
174
00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:07,201
She was raped by a 19-year old guy!
175
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,724
I am not likely to travel anytime soon.
176
00:15:20,824 --> 00:15:25,190
I would love to see you, but i not want to be moving anywhere.
177
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,662
I just wish everyone was home
178
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,922
and everything was the way it used to be.
-I wish that too.
179
00:15:47,123 --> 00:15:52,642
Eight months into the invasion
180
00:15:53,209 --> 00:15:56,018
Attention! Air-raid alert!
181
00:15:56,118 --> 00:15:58,658
Proceed to the nearest bomb shelter.
182
00:16:49,599 --> 00:16:55,164
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