All language subtitles for A Rocky Mountain Affair_1080p

Okay.

-Whoa, whoa!
-Stop! Stop!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!

Ursa, get me out of here.

Recalculating.

Proceed south
on Pinewood Street, 200 feet.

hen turn left on Elstree Road.T

Proceed 100 feet to alleyway.

Arriving at destination
on your right.

Perfect.

Thanks, Ursa.

Oh, geez.

- Ah geez, lady.
- Oh!

Oh my God! Oh my God.

-Oh, it's okay.
-Oh, I'm so sorry.

-That's okay.
-Let me help.

-I'll just take that.
-Okay, but--

Yes. That's okay.

-Can I help you?
-That's alright. No.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

Morning.

-Uh.
-So, you've given up

eating your breakfast and now
you're just wearing it?

Is Diane here yet?

-Yup.
-Perfect.

Guess my beat-the-boss-
to-the-office streak

has come to an end.

Well, you know what she says.

"If you're early,
you're on time.

If you're on time,
you're late.

And if you're late--

You're fired.

Cutting it a little close,

-Meg.
-Sorry, Diane.

There was this delivery guy.
And the elevator

-stopped at every floor.
-No, I don't want to hear it.

Conference call starts
in eight minutes.

Barely enough time to change.

I'll change in three.

Excuse me.

Oh, yes!

Morning, Diane.

Right on time.

Barely had a chance
to grab a cup of coffee.

Mr. Howard,
so good to see you again.

You remember my assistant,
Jaime.

Good morning, Mr. Howard.

And our newest event planner,
Meg.

Ah, good morning, Meg.
Pleased to meet you.

Good morning, Mr. Howard.

Ah, call me, "Brian".

Please.

I want to personally thank you,
Brian,

for once again choosing
Opus Executive Events

for your team building
retreat this year.

h, that's three years running.A

I took note of your requests

and I think our team here
has really come up

with something very different
this year.

Yeah. Hey uh, Diane, listen.

I really want to shake up
this batch of students.

You know,
challenge these people.

Make real lawyers out of 'em.

Welcome to
Fourth Star Branch Retreat.

Recognize it?

-Kinda.
-It's the former set

they shot Kevin Costner's
Virginia Bound at.

That western from like
15 years ago?

Yes. A former Hollywood set
for westerns of the Golden Age.

And I have been assured
that every authentic

tinsel town touch has been
preserved.

You and your team will spend
three days and nights

at this picturesque
mountain getaway.

Your retreat's theme?

Mountains, magic,
and memories.

-Hmm.
- From crisp mornings

to cozy evenings

around the fireplace,
every details is taken care of.

Hold the phone, Diane.

I'm not taking them
on a honeymoon.

This is team building.

They want to be lawyers.

I want 'em to be warriors.

Now tell me we're gonna get
our hands a little dirty here.

Indeed. We have several
outdoor activities planned,

including nature walks by day,
and cozy gatherings

around the outdoor natural
gas fireplace by night.

You might even get your toes
a little wet

at the nearby river.

Is that a unicorn?

Ah, we have several little
surprises planned for you

and your team. Including
complimentary hiking socks.

The raw elements.

Diane! Real survivalist stuff.

Diane, listen, I want fresh.

I want new.

Right.

Of course.

It's all been taken care of,
I assure you.

Wait!

Was that a picture
of axe throwing?

Oh, it might have been.

We've had several team members
propose a number of activities.

Whose idea was that?

Oh, we can get rid of it.
I for one think

-it's too dangerous--
-It was my idea, sir.

Really?

o why'd you put that in there?S

Well, I...

I figured you're out
in the mountains.

And-- and that's something
people do there.

I mean chopping logs.

Ah.

And what else do people do,
Meg?

Well, I did research
a few things.

Um, the giant ladder
for instance.

They're relatively easy
to build.

Require teams of two.

The higher you get
the harder it gets.

A slack-line obstacle course.

That could work for any terrain.
Um...

Geocaching looks like fun.

Kind of like a high-tech
scavenger hunt

with everyone scrambling
in all directions.

None of these have been
approved

or put in the itinerary.

Well, I just approved 'em.

Oh, well...

Diane, I want these people
dangling from trees.

Of course, Brian.

We can make some modifications.

I can go over everything
with you

when we arrive at the ranch.

Certainly.

I mean, she would--

Yeah, Meg,
I'm really excited about this.

So, I know you're just gonna
knock it out of the park.

Uh, yes, Mr. Howard.

It's sure to be an unforgettable
Executive Events experience.

I have Jaime send the directions
and details to you shortly.

Thanks again, Mr. Howard

for choosing
Opus Executive Events.

Dangling from trees, Meg.
Talk soon.

Well, it looks like you just
talked your way

into leading our biggest client
through the wilderness.

Diane, I don't--

Meg, you ran your own wedding

planning company for three
years.

Cakes and wedding pavilions
I know.

Mountains and nature hikes?

Listen, Meg, I hired you,
because you know how

to give the customer
what they want.

That is what we do here at Opus.

You want
to take the next big step?

This is it.

Can I just think it over?

I don't need you
to think it over.

I need you
to follow instructions.

My instructions.

Which Jaime will send you
to your device.

So long
as you follow them exactly

you'll be fine.

Think of it as a recipe.

For a wedding cake.

Think of it as a recipe
for a wedding cake.

Oh. I'd love to push her face
into it afterward.

I'd love to see that.

And did you see the place?

Yeah. What's wrong with it?

Well, nothing.

It's a movie set.

A museum.

Tinsel Town Retreat?

Are you kidding?

Tinsel could be fun?

And a gas-powered fire pit.

Maybe I can find a

golf cart for their nature
walks.

Well, they're lawyers.
We don't want to get sued

if their cart crashes.

Now I may not know much
about the grand outdoors,

but I know that this is not it.

Says the gal jamming
a pair of power pants

into a designer backpack.

What? What, it's a backpack,
isn't it?

You know, maybe Diane's right.

Maybe I'm out of my league.

No.

You're just out
of your comfort zone.

Which is exactly where you need
to be.

Open your email.

This is the map
that Diane prepared.

It'll get you where you need
to go.

And then,
this is the place here.

Fourth Star Ranch
at Hearts Creek.

Not far from where I used
to go hiking with my folks.

And the rest of the
instructions are all here.

We have all the gear
in your car.

Just show up,
follow the recipe,

and Diane and I will be there
in five days.

Do you want chocolate
or vanilla?

For what?

For the cake that I'm going
to bake.

Continue 243 miles
to Old Hunter Road.

urn right onto Old Hunter Road.T

Ursa, find alternate routes
to Fourth Star Ranch.

Recalculating.

Continue 425 miles
on highway 101.

Turn right on Route 15.

-Continue for 108 miles.
-Oh.

Turn right on service road
number 18.

17 miles to Fourth Star Ranch.

Estimated travel time five
hours and twelve minutes.

Well, Ursa, looks like

we're both
over ruled on this one.

Recalculating.

Continue 125 miles
to Fourth Star Ranch.

Estimated travel time
two hours and eight minutes.

Come on, Ursa.
Give me something.

Okay.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on, Ursa.

Come on, give me something.

Give me something.

Come on. Oh, jeez!

Come on, come on.

Ursa, come on, come on, come on.

Anything. Anything, please!

Oh!

Oh no, no!

Oh no, no, no.

Oh...

Oh...

Oh my God...

Oh my God!

Please,
do you have a cell phone?

Well, a-- a GPS then?

All the contact I have
with the outside world

just drowned in that river.

Do you have any means
of reaching civilization?

Got a horse.

I see that.

And a name.

Ry Taylor.

At your service.

Meg.

Sterling.

Oh.

Not a river.

It's a creek.

Looks like a river to me.

Didn't want to climb in
and fish around for your phone?

What? And get swept away right
along with it?

That's 6 inches of water.

Probably carry away a moose.

Maybe I just didn't want
to get wet.

Oh my God.

Oh no!

Oh no, no...

Oh, okay.

Oh, come on. Please, please.

Okay.

Look, Mr. Taylor.

Ry.

Do you think you can help me
get my car moving?

I can try.

Okay.

Hey, well, here.

No, it's okay. I got it.

It's fine. I'm fine.

Well, at least let me
take your bag.

Uh, no. That's fine.

Yeah, thanks.

Well...

Yeah, she's stuck in here good.

Looks like it might be
the front axle.

Car's gonna be here a while.

Oh my God.
This can't be happening.

Do you have a car or a-- a jeep?

Nearest town
is a five-day horse ride.

Five days? Oh no.

I have four days
to get this car

to a place called,
"Fourth Star Ranch"

at Hearts Creek.

Tinsel Town Retreat?

I know it.

-You know it?
-Sure.

Well, Can you get me there?

Not before sundown.

My camp's just over this ridge.

Your camp?

Unless you want to sleep
in your car for a few days.

Guess I don't have a choice.

Oh, you always have a choice.

I think it's only fair
to warn you.

I know jui-jitsu.

And I'm a very light sleeper.

I'm just a tour guide.

Fine. Let's go.

You're not going anywhere
on that ankle.

Well, what am I supposed to...

Uh, no.

Look, I am not an animal person.

-And I...
-Don't worry.

Miss Lucy will show you how.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Oh...

No, I'm fine. I can do it.

I can do it.

I'm fine.

A natural.

Let's go, Lu.

What were you doing
on that road anyhow?

No one uses it.

It's so full of craters.

My phone told me.

Your phone told you?

A way that would have added
five hours

and four minutes to my travel.

Ursa?

My GPS.
My navigational system.

-Named it after--
-Ursa Major.

The Big Dipper.

I get it.

Clever.

So, what's at Hollywood ranch?

Well, in four days

12 angry lawyers
and my furious boss.

And what's
with all the equipment?

I don't know.

I just packed it.

Instructions were in an email
on my phone.

Maybe if I just could
everything there.

-What's that?
-Just checking something.

Uh.

Uh, I...

I got it.

I'll get the fire going.

Good.

Might want to sit closer
to the fire.

I'm just fine here,
thank you.

Still checking things?

I'm calculating how long
it will take

to get to the ranch.

I assume the horse
can walk at a faster pace

than you. Say about 30%?

Don't know.
Why don't you ask her?

Stuff's flammable you know?

I happen to have allergies.

-To what?
-To the outside.

Look, how far is this ranch?

Well,

we're here.

There's a river
that runs along here.

And there's a friend's place
in between.

We'll stop there.

Over the river a ways
is Tinsel Town Retreat.

And next to that
runs Hearts Creek.

No bridge?

Kind of a bridge.

I wouldn't walk on it.
River's low enough

we'll be able
to cross just fine.

So, you live here then?

Yeah, I guess I kind of live
all over here.

I can't imagine life
as one big camping trip.

Can't imagine it any other way.

Oh. What... What's this?

Willow tea.

For the pain.

-Here.
-No, it's okay.

-It's fine. I've got it.
-Here.

Whoa. What is that?

A poultice of herbs
and berries.

Herbs?

It's for the swelling.

Something my mother taught me.

Thank you.

No bother.

I've plenty of practice
on Lucy here.

You know you're a real
Prince Charming.

Well, you're never gonna get
your foot back

in that glass slipper
if you keep standing on it.

-Listen, you--
-Maybe you'd prefer to check

into the Royal Palace
over there.

Have a little beauty rest.

If we leave by breakfast,

we should be
at the ranch by lunch.

I need more than just a few
lines in the dirt, cowboy.

I need specifics.

Why don't you ask Ursa?

Wow.

Oh, I don't think I've ever
seen so many stars.

So, you're not out here
making bombs

and writing manifestos,
are you?

Sounds too complicated.

I stick to mountains, horses,
and camp fires.

And showin' them to city folk
when I have to.

So, you're a mountain guide?

Some of the time.

And the notebook?

I'm just an observer.

I guess it fills the rest
of the time.

It is when I'm not mending
city gals' twisted ankles.

Well, on that charming note.

I guess I'll check
into the Royal Palace.

Goodnight, sweet prince.

And flights of angels sing thee
to thy rest.

-What?
-Hamlet.

Ha. And all this time I thought
that was from Cinderella.

Oh!

Oh...

Met our rooster, huh?

There's coffee in the mug.
And some biscuits.

Oh...

How'd you sleep?

Well, if you call laying
on rocks and dirt

while listening to every hoot
and rustle in the forest sleep.

Like a princess.

How's the ankle?

It's good.

Actually, it's real good.

How's she doing?

- Who?
- Lucy.

She breaking any records?

Look, it's very important
I get to this ranch on time.

Just saying we get there
when we get there.

Just ease up on the reins.

I think I got the hang of this,
cowboy.

Well, you're confusing her.

Look, I don't know what you
think you know about me.

But I'm not some
high-maintenance Southern Belle

come here to tour God's country.

Easy, girl, easy.

I ran my own wedding planning
company for three years,

okay? I don't need some
macho mountain man

telling me...

Whoa, easy.

Easy.

Huh. She did break the record.

What's with the stopwatch
anyway?

Thought you folks had those
things on your cellphones.

It was a gift.

From my favorite professor
in business school.

For perfect attendance
and punctuality.

What are you doing?

Nature calls.

I'm going to guide it.

Careful.

Those might protect
from the bears.

But it's not the animals
I'm worried about.

There's someone else
in these woods.

Someone?

Guess you could call him a man.

He had a name once.

Now, he's just known
as a prospector.

Like a lot of folks, he came up
here looking for gold.

But heard he found it, too.

So did some other fellows.
And they come up here

and they try to take it
from him.

Except the thing is,
he took something from them.

A hand. Usually the left one.

He'd let you live,
so you could tell the story.

But survivors,

well, they didn't
too much living.

That's a good one,
mountain man.

You should write that one down
in your notebook.

Hey, mister bear.

How about a Jingle Bell
sing along, huh?

Oh! Oh my God! Oh, please.

Mister, I'm not after your gold.
I'm lost.

I'm not a prospector. I don't
have a pick or a shovel.

I don't even have a nail file.

Please don't take my hand.

What in Sam hell
are you blathering about, lady?

Ry! Ry, I found him.

I found the prospector.

You better put that thing away
before you hurt yourself.

Meg Sterling.

Meet my guiding partner, Curly.

Mad prospector, huh?

Usually uses
the ax murderer gag

on the real jumpy ones.

My favorite is the ghost
of Hollow Mountain.

Do that one around campfires
late at night.

Well, that was quite
the welcome party.

Well, I sure appreciate
your jingly bells.

But when I take a nature hike,

I prefer to bring along
my trusty Paul Bunyon special.

Oh!

I don't suppose you have
somewhere to clean up around

here that doesn't involve
ice-cold rapids

or mountain waterfalls.

Yes, ma'am. Got a shower.

-You have a shower?
-Sure do.

Over yonder.

Handles are might finicky.

You gotta wiggle it some.

I myself only take
three showers a year.

New Year's Day.

Independence Day.

And my own birthday.

Don't get too close.

Curly's born on a leap year.

Oh...

Got a bucket set up over there.

Just pour it in the pail,
pull the handle,

and have at her.

I'll get the bucket.

It's a little heavy.

Ah, it's okay, boys.

I think I can figure it out.

Oh.

Oh!

Guess she figured out
the handle.

Oh...

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.

Lucy.

Good horsie.

Come on.
Help a sister out, will you?

Come on.

Oh, bless you girl.

Us ladies gotta stick together,
am I right?

Oh.

Maybe you should have taken
the mountain waterfall route.

Oh no.
It was invigorating, really.

Besides I had some help
from our rooster friend.

Now if only Lucy could help me
contact the civilized world.

You need internet?

Yeah. Ry said there was a place
around here.

Well, that place is my place.

I'll go start the generator.

You don't have
hot running water.

But you have internet access?

Well, sure.

It's kinda on and off.

Almost as cranky
as my first wife, Lily.

So, you have a computer then?

I got a whole little
set-up inside.

Why how else am I gonna watch

the season finale
of The Bachelorette?

You send your message?

Yeah.

Hoping it will buy me some time.

Managed to print out
my itinerary.

I got a printer?

What's this?

Doing some renovations
for the palace?

It's a sled for the horses.

We can use it
to haul your gear.

Here.

Tie these on.

My mother taught me.

I made one for the dog
when I was 8.

Was hoping he was gonna carry
my books to school, but...

The first time I hooked it up
to him,

he bolted off across the river.

He was pulling my homework
off the banks for weeks.

Like-- like this?

- I'll take George.
- He's a little feistier.

Besides I think Lucy likes you
better anyway.

Okay.

Okay.

No Kentucky Derby today,
okay, girl?

Now remember, you're in charge.

She's fairly easygoing
if you treat her right.

Heck, she knows these trails
better than I do.

Use your reins
to guide her left and right.

A quick pull back will
stop her.

And a gentle squeeze
of your heels

will get her moving.

You ready?

Ready.

Oh.

So, your mom.

She was a mountain woman, then?

You could say that.

She grew up in
and around these parts.

And your father?

Rancher. Wyoming.

So, you are a cowboy?

Not me.

That was my mother's world.

Rodeo.

Heck of a barrel racer.

My father wasn't much
for bull riding

and hog tying.

But a horse
and a rider working together.

Poetry in motion, huh?

That's right.

Alright.
So, what do you really need?

Uh, all of it.

Including this blender?

Yes.

All of it.

I guess this means this
inflatable unicorn

is coming, too.

Land sakes.

You got enough gear there
to supply a small colony.

There's a unicorn in there if

you want to float down
the river.

Oh, your boss lady
left a message.

Just before the Wi-Fi
crapped out for the day.

Everything alright?

Between a broke down car
and a broken phone?

Sure. At least, I got the
itinerary.

What's that?

Tex-Mex seasoning.

-Want some?
-No.

Thank you.

-I'd like to keep it simple.
-Curly?

Nothing Tex or Mex about that.

Writing a new baked bean recipe?

Just some scribbling.

Clears my head is all.

It's beautiful, Curly.
What's it called?

No name yet.

No lyrics neither.

Was hoping Shakespeare
over there would write some.

-I only write tragedies.
-Hmm.

Isn't that what country music
is all about?

Lame dogs, broke down trucks,
and girls who done ya wrong.

Country music?

That glitzy racket

that pop stars pump out
over the radio?

Just 'cause you got a twang
in your guitar

and a drawl on your lip,
don't make you a country singer.

What about you, Ry?

Let's get
a real cowboy perspective.

You see any cows around here?

We ain't cowboys.

You could have fooled me.

We lead folks
around these parts

that want to be cowboys.

Or cowgirls.

Like some
of them country singers.

Folks reckon you put on a hat
and spurs,

do a little roping and riding,
they can act their way into it.

No, ma'am.

We ain't cowboys.

Or ranchers and farmers work
hard for a living.

- Mm-hmm.
- Ry and myself.

We're mountain men.

What's the difference?

Well, young lady,

Going to tend to the horses.

Oh! Who poured their ash tray
in here?

Got the grounds is all.

Just sip it. Real slow.

Hey, Curly.

Tell me.

What's Ry's story?

Ry?

Just kind of showed up one day
offering his services.

Didn't say much about his past.

I didn't ask.

But I could see he sure knew
his way around these mountains.

So, you took him in?

I was looking for a partner.

He was looking for a change.

Some people come to these parts
to get away from something.

Or someone.

I couldn't say.

But it was enough to bring him
all the way out here

three summers ago.

A person starts
to start question themselves.

Soon they'll question
everything.

And I know all about plans
going down the drain.

Most plans are just maps
in the sand anyways.

Directions scratched
in the dirt.

And then along comes the wind
and the rain.

Yeah.

I've had a few things
get washed up

in the last three years.

Sure.

But life's made up of
what you decide

to do after the wind
and the rain.

I think I'll turn in
for the night.

You happen
to have an extra tent?

Got you all set up inside.

Why thank you, Curly.

A mountain man
and a gentleman.

Goodnight, mountain man.

You keep these pots
boiling all night, Curly?

Mm-hmm.

Coffee's hot.

Find any cigarette butts?

Not yet.

Where's Ry?

In the river.

Getting breakfast, I imagine.

Hmm.

You're gonna need these.

Ugh.

Any moose float by yet?

Not yet.

Oh, you found tracks?

Poop.

Poop?

I don't see any poop.

That's 'cause you're standing
in it.

Oh!

Oh, you caught something?

Ah...

Yeah, he's fighting me though.

Rainbow trout.

And beauties, too.

Meg caught the big one.

Well, scooped was more like it.

Oh, that counts in my book.

I'll get these fellows swimming
in potatoes in no time.

Actually, we're gonna
take our breakfast to go.

I know a shortcut.
If we head out now,

we should make Hearts Creek
by noon.

Get everything set,
and come back for the gear.

Mountain granola bars.
Cool.

Got any more of those
mountain granola bars?

Thanks, coach. Didn't realize we
were holding football tryouts.

You think pretty quick.

Is that why they sent you
out here?

Oh no. Opus Executive Events,
I'm not supposed to think.

Just follow orders.

You do not seem like the type
to follow orders.

How'd you go from weddings
to executive events?

Practicality really.

If I wasn't chasing someone
for invoices,

I was scrambling
to drum up new business.

Guess I was just trying
to keep it simple, too.

Maybe what you needed was
a good partner.

Like me.

Like you?

Yeah.

Well, I found Curly.

Oh, yeah. Right.

I see.

You ready?

Ready for what?

There's a shallow part
just up here.

Shallow?
You said there was a bridge.

I never said that.

Said we could cross here.

I can't do that. You can count
me out then, cowboy.

You'll be fine.

The river's low and

besides Lucy's done this
a dozen times.

I'm not worried about Lucy.

So, you're allergic
to water too then?

I hate the water.

You can't hate the water.

Civilizations began next
to rivers like this.

Well, this ain't Egypt
and that ain't the Nile.

Come on, Meg.

It's the only way.

I can't swim.

Alright, well.

You don't hate the water.

You just hate drowning.

That's right.

I don't care if it takes
another day.

I am not crossing...

Meg!

Meg!

Meg!

Meg!

Meg.

Meg, are you alright?

Listen, Meg.

You're gonna have let go
and swim down to me.

Come on, Meg.

You can do this.

Hey, swimming's easier
than you think. Just...

Ah, it's more like floating
than anything else.

Just let go
and go with the flow.

I'll catch you, I promise.

Come on.

You can do it.

I got you.

There you go. I'm right here.

I'm right here.

That was
some darn good floating.

I did it.

What? No trout
and baked beans tonight?

Nope.

Ry's on cooking duty.

Says he got something special.

Really?

Don't you worry.

Got some chipmunk
for tomorrow's bean menu.

Chipmunk.

Very gamey.

Oh, don't tell me there's not
a layer of beans under there?

I was just getting used to them.

I found a jar
in Curly's old spice rack.

Not sure if it's Tex and Mex.

I think the best before date
was January '79.

I got a spice rack?

It sure is peaceful out here.

You think we can still get

all the equipment over
to the ranch?

I added some wood to the sled.

Should float fine.

The river.

It was so fast.

There was just no way
to fight it.

So powerful.

I remember when I was a kid.

It rained
for four straight days.

Too much for the river nearby
and uh, she burst her banks.

The water just ran straight
through our sandbags and...

it's a flash flood.

The barn was completely gone.

And the house was gutted.

They lost a lot of animals.

In tears I remember

hauling those stupid sandbags
back to the river

and just dropping 'em in.

My father stopped me
and held me in his arms.

You know he said that,

the best that we can hope for
is to manage nature a little.

He explained that,
the only control you have

is your reaction to what
nature throws at you.

Did you rebuild it?

Better than ever.

You ever miss it?

The ranch?

The life.

Yeah, sometimes.

Just couldn't find
the right cowgirl

to settle down with, huh?

Yeah.
Well, problem was I did.

Least I thought I did.

Guess I'll turn in then.

It's gonna be a long day
tomorrow.

Goodnight, Meg.

Goodnight, Ry.

Oh, Ry.

Oh, Ry.
I'm sorry you left your...

I just saw a few pages.

I...

They're beautiful, Ry.
Your poems...

Oh. Good morning, Curly.

Why...

I...

Did... Did you do all this
yourself?

Yeah.

Berry?

Hey, Ry.

Look who's
on the breakfast duty.

Well, she even used
your log cabin trick.

Coffee?

Looks like there's a grumpy
bear loose in these woods.

He caught me looking
in his notebook.

I see.

I didn't mean to pry.
I just-- I wanted...

To see if he was writing
about you.

Well, do you think he is?

Probably.

Along with everyone else
he's met.

He's got a dozen
of those little notebooks.

Probably got a whole one
just on me.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I'm gonna go get my belt on.

You're all wearing suspenders.

I'm the kind of fella
that wears both.

Ry, I'm sorry. I...

Forget it.

Well, I wanted to ask you--

Yeah.

I'll still take you
to the retreat.

Actually. I was gonna ask you

if I could borrow Lucy
for the day.

You're going solo then?

I see.

This whole city slicker
business was just an act.

Or you're a seasoned
professional out here now.

-Hold on a second.
-Look.

You make one little fire,
you pick a few berries,

that doesn't mean you can
handle yourself out here.

Spare me another
partner speech, mountain man.

I think I can haul a pile
of equipment

down a mountain
all by my big self.

Really?

When do the caterers show up?

Look. I said I was sorry
about the journal.

You just left it laying there.

And I trust that people
don't go snooping.

Ha.

I doubt you've ever trusted
anyone in your life.

Thank you for your hospitality.

I will endeavor to have
your horse back before sundown.

Say.

You two heading out already?

No. Just me, Curly.

You heading down
to Hearts Creek alone?

Yeah. I think I've worn out
my welcome.

Besides I won't be alone.

I've got Lucy.

And she's a little more
talkative.

Hm.

That one.

It'll take you right
to the river.

Sled should float across fine

long as you got it tied
to Lucy real tight.

Path on the other side
will take you to your ranch.

Thanks, Curly.

You know, I seen mules
with more sense than you.

I retired from life.

I earned that right.
But you...

You got your whole life
right in front of you.

And you're watching it
pass you by.

My life's just fine.

I seen the way you look at her.

What are you talking about,
old man?

For a man that likes
to write a lot of fancy letters,

you should try speaking them
to someone some time.

- Was it exit 201 or 203?
- 203.

-Are you sure?
-Yes. It's all here.

In your printed directions.

Do you anything
on the iPad yet?

No service.

I knew we should have picked
a closer location.

There are some perfectly
good parks in town.

Mr. Howard wanted
the raw elements.

Well, I didn't think we'd have
to travel back in time

to the 1800s to find it.

Oh, I hope he
doesn't have this problem.

Meg said it in her e-mail.

Wi-Fi only at the ranch.

Besides, we all have the same
printouts.

You have our reservations
for tonight?

Crystal Waters Lodge.

Check in at 5:00.

Check out tomorrow morning
at 8:00 a.m.

Then it's three hours
to Fourth Star Ranch.

Mr. Howard and his party arrive
at 2:00 p.m.

And the Jacuzzi?

You made sure my room tonight
has a Jacuzzi?

Check.

I can't believe people actually
choose to come out here

and sleep on the ground
in tents.

Well,
I think it's very exciting.

Well, I do not want excitement.

I want perfection.

Look. Okay. I know Meg.

She is a details person.

Meticulous and precise.

Every flannel sheet will
be tucked.

Every candle will be lit.

Every napkin will be folded.

You'll see.

Oh.

Alright, girl.
You got three minutes.

No! No! No, no, no, no.

Lucy!

I hear you, girl.

I'm kind of tired
of Jingle Bells myself.

What a game, huh?

Name that tune.

Come on. You don't recognize
You Are My Sunshine?

Maybe bears don't like
country music either.

Here goes nothing.

Oh.

I'm sorry. Maybe you do like
country music.

Hey, listen, big guy,
I'm taking requests.

Well, I'd like to hear

a little Silent Night
if you're going back

to Christmas tunes.

I'd also like
to offer my services.

I'm a seasoned mountain guide
and a first rate horseman.

My rates are pretty reasonable

and I can get you
some references if needed.

I'll take a verbal contract
and I can start right away.

Well, you can start
by reloading my sled.

You're the boss.

I'm also a legendary
Unicorn wrangler you know.

I am happy to see those things
reintroduced to the wild.

Listen, we lost a lot of time
with the unicorn fiasco.

We're about halfway
between Curly's

and the retreat.

And I don't think we're gonna
make either by sundown.

You want to camp here
for the night?

Well, tomorrow's doomsday.
It's gonna come whether

we get to the ranch tonight
or in the morning.

You pitch the tent,
I'll start the fire.

Separate tents, huh?

Ever the gentleman.

More mountain granola bars?

Thanks.

I love this stuff.

Could have used this when I had
my wedding planning company.

A good caterer can make
or break you,

you know what I mean?

Why don't I make some coffee?

You know, I think recognize
some of the berries out here.

Haskap.

Used to go
to this berry picking farm

when I was a kid.

This one year I picked

two pails of raspberries
all by...

Listen, Meg.

I want to get some things
straight.

Oh, okay.

You see, well,

I've made my mind up
about some things

and decided that I'm making
some changes.

I'm leaving.

Oh?

This thing, I mean this--

this mountain guide thing.

I'm getting rid
of some extra baggage.

And I don't want anything
tying me down.

You know what I mean?

No, I don't.

Look, um...

Uh...

There's a lot of things
I figured out being up here

and some things
make more sense now.

Some make less.

That's-- that's not what I mean.

Um...

There's things that I know
that I do want.

But there are certainly things
I know I don't want

and uh...

Meg, what I'm trying to say is--

It's okay, Ry.

I know what you're trying
to say.

I don't even know what
I'm trying to say.

It's just...

Goodnight.

Stupid.

Just say the words.

Dear Meg...

"She's a typical city slicker.

But what should I expect?

he kind of person who can't seeT

the beauty all around her."

A wise man once told me

for a man who likes
to write a lot of fancy words,

I should try speaking 'em
to someone some time.

was hoping to get the courageI
to tell this to your face.

But for now, I...

I just had to get this down,
o there's no misunderstanding.s

"I couldn't spend three days
with this person.

Forget the rest of my life."

I know we just met.

nd I know I don't always showA
he inner workings of my heart.t

But I guess what I'm feeling
is love.

I'm done trying to fix people."

I guess in the end,

I pity her more
than anything else."

- When you read this,
- I'll be back at Curly's.

I have to set some things
straight with the old man

before I start a new chapter
in my life.

I will return for your answer
with an open mind

and an open heart.

.S. I'll also bring breakfast.P

Meg.

Meg.

Meg!

Mr. Taylor,

it is clear I have become
a burden to you.

And while I appreciate
your guidance thus far,

I cannot rely on you
to fix me.

And I will not tolerate
being pitied.

And so,
I hereby my contract with you.

Do not follow me.

What's going on?

Where's Meg?

Over at Tinsel Town Retreat,
I imagine.

You going somewhere?

Yeah.

Anywhere but here.

You're quitting?

It's time I moved on.

I don't want to leave you
hanging, but...

Oh, don't worry about me.

I've been trying to retire
up here for years.

But what about Meg?

Meg.

Here's what Meg thought.

-I don't understand.
-Well, I do.

Perfectly.

Thanks for everything, Curly.

I'll check in on you
from time to time.

Whoa!
What are you doing, fool?

Ry, wait.

These are your words.

Yeah. And they
don't mean a dang thing.

What's this?

More ramblings of a fool,
I suppose.

Love is a strong word?

You're telling me these words
don't mean nothing to you?

Not without the word trust.

You ought
to thank your lucky stars

that a girl like that
is interested

in your sorry life.

Here.

Take 'em.

Maybe one day you'll realize
the wisdom in these pages.

And wonder how them words
ever came out

of that fool head of yours.

Meg!

Meg!

All the equipment is gone.

Oh my God.

She could be wandering around
out here.

With a car full of equipment?

But in the email, it said that
she arrived safe and sound.

Oh God,
I hate it out here.

Oh, of course.

Oh.

I want that place as cozy
as a western home on the range.

Okay.

No firewood.

Good start.

Oh God.

Meg, you alright?

I saw the smoke.

No, Curly. I'm not alright.

What happened?

My boss told me
to start the fire.

It was the second thing
on her list.

Well, that shouldn't have been.

This here hasn't been used
in a while.

Probably a bird's nest stuck
in the chimney.

Say, missy.

I don't want to add
to your troubles

but thought you might want
to know,

Ry's gone.

And I'm not surprised.

Well, this might surprise you.

Fell out of his other notebook.

Curly, where is he?

Probably half way
to California,

I would imagine.

I don't understand.

Listen, I'm gonna go back

and check if he left
anything behind,

then maybe I can help you.

No, it's okay, Curly.

It doesn't matter now.

I'm real sorry
for your troubles.

He's a dang pig-headed fool
anyhow.

-No, I'm the fool.
-Probably...

I'm the fool.

Think I could ever pull
this off.

The good Lord doesn't judge us
on our weaknesses.

He-- he judges us
on our strengths.

You've showed some real grit
out here, young lady.

Thanks.

I'm gonna...

If you need anything,
you know where I am.

Oh, I noticed an e-mail to you
from some fella named Brian.

Says his phone told him
the service road was unsafe

or something.

I don't know...

Oh, the service road.

No.

Oh, no.

This is ridiculous.

She is obviously at the ranch.

You stay here
in case she comes back.

I'll take the long way around.

All I can say is
she had better

have everything set up
perfectly.

No, no, no, no. No, no!

Hey, hey, hey! Wait, wait!

Stop, stop, stop!

No!

Oh boy.

What?

Oh God...

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ugh, ugh, ugh!

Don't make me go out there.

Oh.

Meg.

Thank God, you're okay.

Well, why did you...

Where did you....

How did you get a horse?

A long story. Where's Diane?

She left for the ranch
a little while ago.

Right.
That should buy us some time.

Morning, Meg.

Somehow I don't think

this little mishap
was on the itinerary.

I'm so sorry, Mr. Howard.

Is everyone alright?

Certainly got hearts racing.

But no damage
except for the tire.

I was more concerned about you.

Oh, well,
I've been on quite an adventure.

And so have you.

This blown tire
is a perfect example.

-Oh?
-Yeah.

It's quite fortuitous you see.

Because well, things
have changed, Mr. Howard.

Changed?

Yeah.

The itinerary I put together,

that was more
of a rough outline.

What mountain men out here
like to call,

"a map in the sand".

You said you wanted
to test your interns, Brian.

Well, for the next few days,

we're gonna see what
you're all made of.

You got to go with what life
throws at you.

And out here, it's a lot.

But it ain't
green goose smoothies.

And it ain't manicured
bits of time.

And it ain't unicorns.

It's wit, grit, and guts.

So, cinch your saddles
and grab your paddles,

'cause for the next few days
we're riding the rapids.

Oh God. Now that...

That is what I'm talking about.

Now, I mean Diane had me
going there for a while

with that itinerary.

I mean,
I knew it had to be a joke.

Oh, young lady, this--
this is music to my ears.

Okay.

So, grab only what you can
carry and follow me.

We'll arrange for a tow truck
once we get to the ranch.

Well, alright, troops.

You heard her.

Let's gear up!

-So, what's the plan?
-I know a shortcut.

If Diane's taking
the long way around,

it gives us just enough time
to beat her there.

Try to save this whole thing.

And if not?

I haven't thought
that far ahead.

So, these marks here
are left by a grizzly bear

who stood up
and scared his prey.

Cherry.

So these are deer droppings.

-Oh.
-They run in packs.

So, usually when you see this,
it means that game is nearby.

Nice.

Ah, so it's just kind
of back there.

You can see the peak.

Oh, sweet.

Um, I don't know about this.

-Can we eat it?
-So, this is tree moss.

And it's on this side
of the tree.

And this side of the tree
is dry.

Because when the sun rises,

it comes up this way
and over on this side.

So, this side always stays wet
and mossy.

That's incredible.

You done this trekking often?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What is this?

It's the shortcut.

Maybe there's a bridge near.

No bridge.

We're gonna have wade across.
But right now,

this is our only chance
at beating Diane to the ranch.

But I thought you told me
you don't do water.

Guess I'm getting used
to it out here.

Hey.

Well, scouts!

What have we got here?

Looks like we're gonna get
a little wet.

Brian?

Okay.

Well, troops,

sounds like we got our
first real true test, huh?

Wit, grit,

and guts.

Let's go.

I can't swim.

Oh, don't worry, Sherry.

It's more floating
than anything.

I tell you what,
you can ride on Lucy.

She's an old pro at this.

Come on.

Watch your step.

Just put your foot
in the stirrup there.

Right.

There you go and jump.

Hey, you alright?

Yeah.

You got this.

I've never felt so alive!

You did great.

Thanks. So did you.

Well, Mountain Meg.

What now?

Yeah, what now?

Oh.

Where are the sidewalks?

Hey um,

how'd you like the experience
so far?

So, what are you gonna do
once we get there?

I have no idea.

This could all still end
in disaster.

Well then, let's just make it
a disaster of a lifetime.

With the mountains, magic,
and memories.

Oh, it'll be memorable alright.

Trashed equipment,

a fake ranch house,
and a busted stove.

Maybe we can set the whole
place ablaze

and roast weenies around it.

Okay, first things first.
I'll get the fire going.

Get everyone dry.

Then we need to salvage
the equipment

and we'll figure out
sleeping arrangements later.

And...

Curly, you...

How did you...

Sorry, we're late, ma'am.

Never did win any awards
for punctuality.

Well, maybe you could this
to time them city slickers

on our obstacle course.

Thank you, Curly.

-I um...
-I read your note.

Well, I...

I read your notebook.

It seemed pretty clear.

It was pretty clear, alright.

At the time I wrote it.

If you're gonna go snooping,

make sure you got
the right book.

Here.

Check the date.

Three years ago.

Right.

It's when I first came up here.

This notebook's about my ex.

And I can understand
how'd you feel

if you thought it was about you.

This...

This is the notebook
I've been writing in about you.

You did all this?

Ry Taylor.

At your service.

Absolutely spectacular.

The camp, I mean.

I'm just a hired hand.
This was all Meg's doing.

Ry's the mountain guide

and he's been helping me
out here.

He taught me to see a lot
of things

I didn't notice before.

Meg here taught me a few
things, too.

Right.

I see.

Meg! Oh.

Meg! Where is she?

This is outrageous.

What the...

What is this?

Who are these people?

Mr. Howard.

Wha...

How did you get here?

Well... Mountain Meg here guided
us through the wilderness.

It was awesome!

Is this...

Did you do this?

Wait, Diane. I can explain.

I started the fire inside
just like you asked me to.

It's a disaster.

The stove is clogged.

How can you be so incompetent?

This is your Fourth Star Ranch!

Only it's been abandoned
for about 10 years.

But the online ad said
picturesque mountain...

That's what mountain men
call getting it in the neck.

Swindled.

My unicorns.

My blender.

Oh, Miss Sterling.

You are reckless.

You are insubordinate.

And you are fired.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold the phone, Diane.

Now I am so sorry
for what this amateur

has put you through, Mr. Howard.

I'm the client.

If anyone's doing any firing
around here, it's me.

I agree wholeheartedly, Brian.

Diane, you're fired.

Yeah. Yeah,
it was your crazy directions

that got us into trouble
to begin with.

-No, but I was--
-We just had

the trek of a lifetime.

Hell, I actually think
these people broke a sweat.

And it's all thanks
to Mountain Meg here.

You can keep the deposit, Diane.

Far as I'm concerned,

I'm booking my next retreat
with this young lady

and her mountain man boyfriend
there.

Pssh. Come on.

I mean it's pretty
obvious, folks.

I'm a lawyer.

I can see the truth
in your eyes.

Jamie, get me an Uber.

I'll be inside.

Hey!

Think you're gonna need
a little bit of magic

for that, Diane.

'Cause you're on your own.

I think I'm going to put
in my application

to a new start-up mountain guide
company I just heard about.

Give me my blender!

Well, folks.

Beans are on
and the fire is warm.

Beans...

Listen, about my note,
I'm sorry.

I-- I didn't understand.

It's alright.

Besides, some of what you said
was true.

I read your note, too.

Did you still mean that part
about a place for me

in your story?

Well, you two will be happy
to know

I found some words for my song.

I call it,
"the Ballad of Meg and Ry".