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-Thank you very much, everybody.
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Enjoy yourself.
Welcome, everybody.
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Welcome, welcome,
welcome to "The Tonight Show."
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You're here.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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I'm very excited about this.
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Zendaya and Robert Pattinson
are here tonight.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Right now the entire crowd is
like, "Jimmy,
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if you say April Fools,
we will destroy you."
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No, it's real.
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Zendaya and Robert star in
a new movie called "The Drama."
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[ Cheers and applause ]
That's right. Yeah.
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This is where they play a couple
whose relationship is threatened
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when a shocking secret
is revealed.
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[ Audience oohs ]
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Kristi Noem heard and was like,
"Can't be that shocking."
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[ Laughter ]
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Yep. Zendaya stars in
"The Drama"
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and later this year,
she's in "Dune: Part Three,"
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"Spider-Man --"
[ Cheers and applause ]
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"Spider-Man: Brand New Day."
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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And "The Odyssey."
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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And Pedro Pascal was like,
"Game recognize game."
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Alright, here we go.
Let's get to some news.
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Well, guys, this morning
President Trump made history
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by becoming the first
sitting U.S.
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president to show up for opening
arguments at the Supreme Court.
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Yep. Trump was excited.
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It's the first time
he's been in court
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without the chance
of going to jail.
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[ Laughter ]
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Meanwhile, Trump stormed
out 13 minutes
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into the opposing argument.
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Yep. The last time
Trump walked out
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of something after 13 minutes,
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it was the Melania movie.
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[ Laughter ]
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Yep. Trump left the Supreme
Court pretty upset,
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and he got even more mad
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when he found out there was
no Supreme Food Court either.
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He's like, "Why don't I smell
Panda Express?
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What's going on?"
[ Laughter ]
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Get this. Trump just announced
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that he's going to renovate
the Reflecting Pool
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between the Lincoln Memorial
and the Washington Monument.
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More and more, it feels like
he was the elected president
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of HGTV, don't you think?
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[ as Trump ] I like an
open-concept kitchen.
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[ Normal voice ] Well, it's been
a rough couple of weeks
for Trump.
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And now his approval
rating has hit a new low.
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In response, Trump said...
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And everyone using TurboTax
said...
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[ Laughter ]
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Then Trump said...
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Then Kristi Noem's husband
said...
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[ Applause ]
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Trump said...
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Then everyone on
"The Masked Singer" said...
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Then Trump said...
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Then marshmallow Peeps said...
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The Trump said...
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Then the picture of Prince
Andrew being arrested said...
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And finally, Trump said...
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And every guy in a Hims
commercial said...
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Interesting, interesting quotes.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Hey, this is cool.
Earlier tonight,
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NASA launched its first crewed
mission to the moon in 53 years.
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Yeah, the rocket launch
from Cape Canaveral,
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did a quick flyby
over Kid Rock's house,
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and then headed for the moon.
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-Oh, wow.
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-Some tech news -- Drivers
can now use ChatGPT
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with Apple's CarPlay.
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Although I saw the ad for it.
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I'm not sure it's such
a great idea.
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Take a look at this.
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-ChatGPT is coming
to cars everywhere.
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-Hey, ChatGPT,
how far away is Target?
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-That's a great question, Dan.
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It's both insightful and shows
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that you care about timing
and preparation.
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-Yeah, I -- I just need to know
how far Target is.
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I don't need
the whole AI answer.
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-[ Laughs ] Totally get it.
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You're interested in the
distance from here to Target.
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It's really key that you ask
that, especially now at a time
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when you're driving to Target
and --
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-Stop. Stop.
Answer in just two words.
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How far is Target?
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-Two words. Great question.
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-No. Answer with just the
distance from here to Target.
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-150,000 miles.
-That's wrong.
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-You're absolutely right
to call me on that.
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I miscalculated the distance,
and that's on me.
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Just let me know
if there's any way I can help.
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I'm here to dive in.
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-I just need the distance
from here to Target!
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-I hear you, Dan.
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Often it can be frustrating
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to want to find the distance
from --
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[ Horn honks ]
-Aaah!
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[ Crash ]
-Apple CarPlay, now with AI.
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Drive safe out there.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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-Well, right after the Olaf
robot
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in Disneyland Paris
malfunctioned,
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Tokyo Disney ran into an issue
with their Rapunzel robot
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when some crows started
eating her hair.
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-Oh!
-This is real.
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Take a look at this.
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-♪ Flower, gleam and glow ♪
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♪ Make the clock reverse ♪
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-Yeah, turns out
a Disney princess surrounded
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by little birds
isn't as cute in real life.
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[ Laughter ]
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Eventually, park employees
captured the crows
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and sold them as turkey legs.
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There you have it.
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[ Applause ]
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And finally, guys,
we're so excited for this.
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"The Super Mario Galaxy Movie"
hits theaters today.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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"Super Mario Galaxy."
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So we teamed up with the
entire cast to do something fun.
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This is
"The Ballad of Super Mario."
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Check it out.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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♪♪
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-♪ There once was a man
named Mario ♪
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♪ Yes, you know who I mean ♪
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♪ He had a brother, Luigi,
who was always wearing green ♪
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♪ There was also Princess Peach,
who made my heart explode ♪
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♪ But they defeated me
with the help ♪
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♪ Of a tiny little mushroom man
named Toad ♪
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♪ They locked me up
and shrunk me down ♪
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♪ Oh, Bowser, he was done ♪
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♪ But now they're facing
Bowser Jr. ♪
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♪ And he is my son ♪
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♪ Oh, Mario and Luigi
are now in outer space ♪
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♪ And Peach and Toad and
Rosalina's all up in my face ♪
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♪ But me and Bowser Jr.
will get Mario once more ♪
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♪ But Yoshi is now in the crew ♪
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♪ He's a cool little
freaky dinosaur ♪
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♪ Super Mario in stario's
going far-io ♪
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♪ He'll be sorry-o ♪
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♪ In reality,
all his pals in need ♪
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♪ They will bow to me
in the galaxy ♪
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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♪ There once was a man
named Mario ♪
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♪ Yes, you know who I mean ♪
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Hey-ah-ow!
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[ Cheers and applause ]
-I mean, come on.
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My thanks to
Jack Black and the whole cast.
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"The Super Mario Galaxy
Movie" is out now.
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We have a great show.
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Zendaya and Robert Pattinson
are here.
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Regé-Jean Page is joining us.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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And we got great music from
600 Ent.
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Stick around.
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We'll be right back with more
"Tonight Show," everybody.
11683
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