Original subtitles

Put your hands together, cover your eyes.

I'm getting ready for a big surprise.

Spirit in a bottle, ghost in the machine.

Walking on water, floating on a dream.

This fool and who, who can you believe?

Do you think you're gonna lose it? Are you sure what you just seen?

Thumpin' underground, didn't you hear that sound?

What's cookin' in your head? Are you shakin' in your bed?

When you don't wanna do what you didn't wanna do And you can't find a pop or a

cop And you got two friends to be handin' in But you're never gonna make

If you see him comin', better stop runnin' with the screen seat

No luck?

He's not upstairs.

Did you check the basement? He's only been... He's only been dead for six

He couldn't have gotten too far.

Check the living room again. I'll try the attic.

Somebody's coming. We've got to get out of here.

He's right down there.

I just came by to help him carve some pumpkins for Halloween when I found him.

Turn it off!

Turn it off!

Ah, Granville, look at what you've done.

Oh, well.

Nobody's looking to buy a pumpkin smasher. It's a pumpkin carver they

It'll revolutionize Halloween.

How about... You're inventing a rubber mask that doesn't make your face red.

That ought to do it. This time it's going to work. History is about to be

made. Clara, are you getting this?

Uh -huh.

Guys, maybe this isn't the most appropriate time to be watching this.

What's the point of a memorial if you aren't supposed to remember?

Go make some meaningless small talk with your grandfather's friends.

Nice to see you laughing, Dad.

Didn't know you had it in you.

Such a brave little girl. You're holding up so well.

I'm a trooper.

I swear, somebody dies and suddenly the whole world is invading a personal

space. Tell me about it.

Oh, you must be Frank's grandson. Let me give you a hug.

Can I help you?

No, no, I was just, um... Frank had some books.

Claire, right?

I'm Warner McDonald.

Your grandfather and I were great friends.

Hmm.

He never mentioned you. Yeah, well, you were usually only in our little hamlet

for a couple of weeks during the summer.

But since you're going to be around a little longer this time...

You have to come to our big Halloween festival this weekend.

I'm not really in a festival kind of mood. Yeah, well, I didn't mean, um...

Everything all right?

Richard.

It's wonderful to have you back here, Richard.

Well, not wonderful under the circumstances.

Well...

I'd better be going.

Excuse me.

What kind of freak brings a flyer to a funeral?

That's old Warner for you.

He and your grandfather have hated each other since grade school.

Something about a vicious game of Red Rover, Red Rover.

Sorry to hear about your father. What are your plans for the house?

Obviously, you can't keep it.

I'm putting the for sale sign up first thing in the morning.

You see, I could be back at the hospital in a week.

Two talks.

And it's not the house itself that's the problem.

It's all that junk that's inside it. And the basement alone would fill up a half

a dozen dumpsters.

Hello? Ian.

Ian?

Why didn't you answer? I've been calling you.

You all right?

You sure?

I'm sure.

Because if you're not, I mean, I understand.

I know that you and Grandpa were pretty close, so...

You believe all the junk he's got down here?

It's not junk.

What is half of this stuff? It came out with more ridiculous gadgets and gizmos.

It's not junk.

Grandpa made all this stuff.

This is his pumpkin carver. It's going to revolutionize Halloween.

And this is a portable turbo back. We made it two summers ago.

And there's... I don't know what this is. It's just crap. You can't just...

Keeping all this stuff isn't going to bring him back, Ian.

I hope you realize how lucky you are.

I would have given anything to hang out with him down here when I was a kid.

So why didn't you?

I don't know, really.

He was busy.

I was in the way.

A long time ago. It doesn't matter now.

Come on.

I left your sister in charge of dinner.

Consider yourself warned.

Well, that certainly was disgusting.

I'd have ordered pizza, but they don't deliver after seven.

Welcome to small -town living.

That weird guy was going through Grandpa's books, gave me.

Oh, hey.

How about this?

Halloween festival.

If we're still in town, you two should go. It's supposed to be a lot of fun.

Grandpa said it's totally cheeseball.

Oh, he would.

It's Warner's, baby.

People come all the way from Boston for it.

Grandpa used to talk about this Zachariah guy like he was some kind of

But he looks pretty creeped out to me.

He should.

He's something of a local legend.

Our resident spook.

He really existed?

That's what they say. He lived with his young bride on Coal Hill just south of

town almost 200 years ago.

What did he do to get so famous?

He burned things down.

Supposedly, Zachariah loved only one thing more than his wife, and that was

fire.

They say you could see it in his eyes.

broke out constantly in the hills around his home.

The town did everything they could to try and stop him, but it was his wife

finally said she'd had enough and tried to leave him.

Tried? What did he do?

He set their cabin on fire with her still in it.

He killed her?

Afraid so.

But in a fitting end.

They found him guilty of murder and sentenced him to be burned at the stake

the town square.

The fires didn't end with Zachariah.

That night, the courthouse burned to the ground.

Fire!

Fire!

They say he still roams the hills.

You're saying this town is haunted?

No. He's saying it's full of bunkins.

see it in his eyes.

Dad.

You okay sleeping in Grandpa's room?

Yeah, it's totally cool.

I'm not creeped out or anything, if that's what you mean.

Good.

He didn't die in here, right?

Right.

Good night, Ian.

Good night, Dad.

to there this instant.

Claire.

I'm not afraid of you.

I swear you were so going to pay.

Good night. Don't let the ghoulies bite.

Good night, Claire.

You okay?

Fine. Just make sure Claire's in her room.

Good night.

Good night.

and began doing this weird morphing thing. And I tripped or something, and

I got back up, it was gone.

That's what I get for telling your kids ghost stories.

I wasn't having a nightmare.

How do you explain the book's fall?

Gravity? Maybe it's some sort of sign from the beyond.

Maybe I'm supposed to read them.

Then the beyond doesn't know you very well.

Property of the Steeple Falls Public Library.

He was definitely trying to tell me something.

He?

Grandpa! It has... to be Grandpa's ghost. I mean, who else could it be?

Oh, great. It wasn't enough that he was giving me grief while he was alive.

Ian, you've got to pull yourself together and go to bed. Do we understand

other?

Good. I'll see you in the morning.

I'll have to remind Dad about the child labor laws in the state.

All right, guys.

Let's take a break. Come on into town with me.

You must have heard from your lawyer.

Oh, Claire, why don't you run up to Grandpa's room and grab those books? I

to make sure we return them.

Claire, no.

We can't return those books. I haven't even looked at them. They're library

books. We can't keep them. But Grandpa was using them to send me a message.

Seriously, the only message he was sending you was, shut up, quit acting

such an idiot.

What is that?

I don't know.

Here, hold on to these, Claire. You take this. What? You take them. You're

taking them. Yes, you are.

Shut up.

rules a little, letting your grandpa check fees out.

But then again, he could be very persuasive.

Looks like old Zachariah and the festival are finally putting this town

map. Before you know it, we'll be giving Salem and their witch trials a run for

their money.

And Steeple Falls has more unsolved fires per capita than any other town in

state. Steeple Falls.

Is it hot in here or is it just us?

I'm not kidding. It's on the t -shirt.

What's with all the old machine parts in the display case?

Oh, that's just some doodads that Warner dug up around the cabin. We just wanted

something to fill up the case.

Zachariah's cabin?

It still exists?

Oh, heaven no.

But Warner owns the land, and he says that he is going to build a replica for

the tourists.

There is even talk about putting in a theme park.

of their blacked out fire starters.

Maybe there's something in the water.

What?

Don't wander off. I'm only going to be a minute.

Where do you think we're wandering off to? You can see the whole place from

here.

Look, they still haven't... into that grandpa's store.

I loved that place.

I still don't know why he had to close it.

Yes, you do. And quit talking about it. You know it upsets Dad.

What doesn't?

Hey, kids.

Beautiful day.

Hope you're making the best of it. Yeah.

Well, once we're done here, we're going to go back and pack up our dead

grandfather's belongings.

That's good to be productive. Now, speaking of your grandfather, there were

books. Library books?

Yes, right. So you found them.

What has he done?

I told you to let me drive the tractor. Hey, Pat.

Clean it up. What did you do?

Hey,

kids.

I didn't catch what you said about the books.

Hi, Warner.

Looks like your festival's really taking off.

Ain't it, though?

And your dad always said it wasn't going to amount to anything.

It was a real loss to this town when Frank decided to close down the store.

Shame he couldn't find anyone to take it over.

Yeah, that's a shame.

And me, I'm lucky.

My boys couldn't wait to get into the business.

This town means the world to them.

Well, that's all you know. See you Saturday.

Nice talking to you, Warner.

I'm going now.

Just running into town to see Grandpa's lawyer.

Hey, my old woodshop project, sixth grade.

It was Dad's Christmas present that year.

Grandpa kept it. Must have meant a lot to him.

I doubt it. He said I didn't sand it properly.

Dad, are you okay?

Yeah,

fine.

Make sure you and your brother get some homework done.

I just don't want you to get behind.

Ian, I'm taking off now, sir.

I don't want to know.

Yes, I do.

What is all this?

It's stuff to catch a ghost.

I should always go with my gut.

What's going on?

Let me out of here. Who are you anyway?

Claire!

Do you mind?

Some of us are trying to look.

What is this? It's a ghost.

Ian, it's not a ghost.

Can you just unscrew the lid?

If it's not a ghost, then what is it? I don't know. But there has to be some

kind of logical...

It is not a ghost.

I hate the dark. Does it have to hit you in the face, literally?

It's a ghost, and I'm keeping it. Ian, for the last time, there is no such

as... I

do

hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as we say in the ghost business, boom!

Must she keep doing that?

Stay right where you are.

Don't take another, whatever it is you do, closer.

This is the coolest thing in the world.

This is not the coolest thing in the world. This is the antithesis of cool.

Now, nobody will get hurt as long as you do exactly as I say.

Give me the jar.

No way.

Ian, just give him the jar.

Give him the jar, man.

Ian, give him the jar. No.

Fine. I don't want to have to resort to this, but...

Not what I needed right now.

That was amazing.

Can you do anything else?

No. Good.

Uh -oh.

Well,

nice chatting to you, but... Gotta fly.

I think it went that way.

Walking, we're walking away from the life this time. Thank you for dying.

Death? Thank you for dying. Please, come again.

Kidding.

Afterlife humor.

It's not really funny, really. Thank you for dying. Okay, dead people, come on.

Keep it moving. Look alive.

Move it, move it, move it. There you go. Get in line.

That's right. Get back in line, cowboy. Thank you, sir.

Hi, welcome.

Okay, Dot, down the steps. A through L on your left, M through Z on your right.

Thank you very much.

Very nice. Wonderful.

And we're walking and we're walking and we're smiling because we're dead, not

depressed. That's right.

Name? Lindsay. Phil.

Check that out.

Here you are.

Thought we made a mistake there for a minute. You have no idea the amount of

paperwork I've got to fill out when that happens.

Don't worry, sir.

Just a little bit of processing.

Thank you. Thank you for dying. Please, come again.

Just a little bit of afterlife humor. It's really not funny. Thank you for

dying. I'm sorry. No cell phones allowed in the hereafter. Makes the cherubim

crazy. Don't even ask me about the cherubim.

Careful.

Okay. Bye -bye. Watch your step there. Your turn. There you go.

There you go. Where are the sheep? Did somebody get the sheep?

Oh, it's got to be around here somewhere.

I swear.

If I end up on the cover of the With the World news, you are so dead.

Welcome, Lincoln.

Mariah, we've got pro... pro... pro... In the world, have you been? Look, we

swamped. Why everyone has to die on a Thursday is beyond name. We've got

problems.

Problems? As in plural?

Where is the soul you were sent out to retrieve?

That's one.

And where's Jumper?

That's another one.

Well, how many more are there?

One. Hello?

Maybe two.

The living?

You let the living follow you here?

What are you thinking?

I'm sure if they keep quiet, they'll be gone in a couple of minutes.

I'll take care of it.

You are only dreaming.

This is just a dream.

I tried.

I am so writing you up.

Look, we don't know who or what you things are, but we got your little

here. Hey, Boston.

But we'd be willing to trade him for some answers.

Or the nearest exit. Okay, look, kids.

Don't mess with me. I am in no mood today.

Hi, Mark.

Thank you.

That feels much better.

What was that all about?

Was I bothering you? And hello?

How about some air holes?

And some partner you turned out to be.

That's the best you can do?

You're welcome.

Oh, I'm supposed to be thanking you now. I've got two little kids here. You

can't even... Just a minute.

Please, I think we have a couple more pressing problems here.

So, what exactly is this place?

Oh, no, no. Listen, forget it. It's much too complicated to explain. Some sort

of afterlife way station?

Okay, maybe not so complicated.

Thank you for dying.

This is the North American Zone 6 Soul Retrieval Center. And I am

Jumper. Get a picture.

And this is my so -called partner, Coffin Ed.

Delighted. And we are the Soul Patrol.

Don't touch me.

I'm Ian Carlyle, and over there is my sister, Claire.

Put her right there, buddy.

from the portal. Thank you. You will have your opportunity soon enough. Not

I'm going to die?

Oh, hello.

Newsflash. Everybody dies.

Talk about your job security.

So what's on the other side?

Well, we're really not allowed to talk about it. It's a big secret. Big secret?

She's never even been.

None of us made it out of the waiting room before they bounced us into these

lousy jobs.

And I will be stuck here until you know what freezes over if anyone...

Finds out about the two of you, okay?

Wow,

all these people died?

Wait till the hockey season starts.

No, no, no. Do not touch that. Don't touch that. That's private. Hey, Blair,

look. Here's Grandpa's name.

But it's not checked off.

I knew it. That was Grandpa I saw last night.

Why didn't he cross over?

Other than the fact he looks kind of creepy.

Who knows? The dead are very unpredictable.

Could be unrequited love, revenge, poor sense of direction.

Don't you try and figure out why they stayed behind?

The number of people who die in my district is supposed to match the number

people who cross over. The why is not my concern.

How about we make you a deal? No, the dead don't make deals. You help our

grandfather to cross over, and we promise never to tell a soul about what

saw. Deal.

But first, you have to let my grandfather fulfill whatever it is he's

do.

Okay, but he has to be here by tomorrow night. I can only claim an account of

yours for so long.

Don't worry.

Once you get to know Mariah...

She's even worse.

No cell phones, love.

Still don't believe in ghosts, huh?

A bit.

But I'll take that as a... I'm sorry for being such a stuck -up, closed

-minded... Ow!

What do you think Grandpa wants to tell us?

Maybe he buried a fortune in gold under the house.

How hard did I hit you with that branch?

It would just be so cool to see him again.

To, you know, really get to say goodbye and all that stuff.

Uh -oh.

I couldn't have been in town for more than an hour. I don't know what

Dad, what's wrong?

Claire, are you all right? Where's your brother?

Ian, I was so worried. I got home and you weren't here.

Are you sure you're all right? Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, right?

Yeah.

So where were you? Dad, you're not going to believe this. The most incredible...

We were frog hunting.

Frog hunting?

Um, yeah.

Grandpa always takes us frog hunting.

Um... So I wanted to go, and Claire said no because she's afraid of frogs. I'm

not afraid of frogs. And I went anyway.

And then I got lost, and Claire came to find me, but then we both got lost, and

now we're not lost anymore, which is good because we've been found.

But I gotta tell you, boy, am I exhausted.

Sorry you were so worried.

Next time we'll leave a trail of breadcrumbs or something.

Yeah, nice to meet you guys.

Their grandfather just died. I think they're still a little freaked out about

it.

Wow.

You two have really made a lot of progress. Definitely on the road to

redemption. Nothing like those energizing pangs of guilt to spur us on.

I knew I brought you up right.

Listen, I'm going to take a run into town. Either one of you want to come

Uh, no, I'm fine.

Yeah, me too.

Fine. Suit yourselves.

Come on, me. I've got my time.

Hey.

Listen, guys.

I know we haven't really talked about, well, everything.

But I just wanted to... You're okay, right?

Yeah, we're fine, Dad.

Okay.

Good.

Are you sure?

Yes.

We're fine. Really.

Great.

What's that for? In case he doesn't want to come along peacefully.

You know how stubborn he can be.

And what's all that?

Happy memories. I thought they might help attract him.

What do you want from me? I've never been ghost hunting before.

Neither have I, but it can't be that hard.

I mean, we know he's in the house, and I'm pretty sure he wants to talk to us.

I'm trying to contact the spirit of Frank Carlisle.

Come in, Frank Carlisle. Oh, for the love of... Hey, Gramps, it's Ian and

Claire, and we have to talk to you now.

Please?

Grandpa?

Grandpa?

Is it really you?

grandpa it's me claire your granddaughter he's not blind he's dead i

grandpa i'm not sure if you know this but it's important that you cross over

move on with your life death just tell us what you want we can help you

what is it what's wrong

The alarm's going off.

Dad, hi.

That was quick.

Ian, you set the house on fire?

Why do you think I did it? He didn't. We didn't do this.

Seriously. Yeah, if anything, we should be getting some kind of a medal right

now. If we told you it really happened, you wouldn't believe us, or you're just

going to have to trust us on this one.

I mean, no harm done, right?

No harm done?

I'm gone ten minutes and you almost burned the house down?

What's going on with you two? Are you acting out?

Do you blame me for all this?

Are you mad at me? You're trying to get back at me or something?

Seriously, Dad, this really isn't about you, so don't take it so personally.

What?

Go.

Get up. I can't talk to both of you right now. Go.

I thought Dad said that Zachariah Cole was just a legend.

Apparently, he's not the authority on ghosts we thought he was.

Hey, those veins on his forehead are pretty wild.

Yeah, I really thought they were going to burst this time.

Just one of these days, I like to see someone come through here who actually

looks like their picture.

Hey, ghosties!

Ghosties!

Come on, look alive. We've got big problems.

Problems? Guess what? We have no more room for problems. We're filled up with

problems.

What's going on here? Nobody died today?

All right, bite your tongue.

It just so happens that most ghosts prefer to travel at night.

They're ghosts.

Tell that to the flaming creepy that just siphoned off my grandfather.

You're not talking about Zachariah Cole, are you?

Um, well, huge, Skeletor -like face with a long black jacket. That's the cat.

Big old top hat and nails look like they need to be done.

And, oh, yeah, he throws flame balls.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that does sound like old Zachariah.

Of course, it could also be Sheila, my second wife. Now, she was terrifying.

You know, I so do not need this right now. Sometimes it just seems like the

whole afterlife is conspiring against me.

What's Zachariah doing out here? I thought dead guys were supposed to be in

there. Even big, huge, scary ones.

Zach's an unusual case.

He holes out in an old mine just on the south side of town.

And this isn't the first time our paths have crossed.

Actually, it's quite an interesting story.

This is one evil dude!

You guys aren't getting this, man. He captures people's soul, and then he

their life force.

He's the kind of ghost that's after revenge.

Gives us all a bad name.

steals their life force?

Does that mean Grandpa can't cross over?

Okay. You know what? No more drama.

Everything is just fine.

You people are making a mountain out of a tiny, tiny, tiny little molehill. Now,

we are monitoring the situation closely, and we'll have the matter resolved in

no time. Everything is fine, people. Look, I'm smiling.

He died 200 years ago.

Eternity does not breathe efficiency.

Okay, even with the occasional loss, this station still maintains a death -to

-crossover ratio of... 99 .999999%.

It's the second highest in the continent.

Second only to New Jersey. And everyone knows they, uh, you know, doctor their

books.

You have to do something.

Isn't it your job to save them? I just don't have the ghost power for this kind

of thing. Look at us. We're swamped. Wait a little, Bessie. Thank you,

we're talking about. You can't just leave him out there.

Look, little person, I know that this is difficult for you to accept, but your

grandfather... This is getting embarrassing.

What are we doing?

We are the Soul Patrol.

We got way more life force than a dozen stinky ghosts.

This is what I signed up for.

I say we go kick some serious ghost butt.

Yeah, except for you didn't sign up. You were sentenced.

What?

Are you with me, Eddie, buddy?

Only one week left on the force. Why can't I just retire in peace?

Oh, okay. You talked me into it.

There's nothing on TV anyway tonight. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

How about you, Mariah? Oh, go. Fine.

But I know nothing. I don't know anything. I don't know you. Who are you?

away.

Let's go get your grandpa.

High five.

The Soul Patrol is on their own. Oh, yeah, you're under your feet now, right?

That's right.

The Soul Patrol is looking for a mole.

The Soul Patrol is on their own.

That's great. The Soul Patrol doesn't care about the mole.

The Soul Patrol is going to get me fired.

The Soul Patrol... The cabin must have been up there somewhere.

Uh, whose cabin?

Zachariah's. They said it was on Coal Hill.

Oh, very nice. What, at the bottom of Sewage Lane?

But you know what I don't understand?

Baseball? What to wear with denim?

How I can be dead and still look so good?

No, no, and no.

I don't understand why Zachariah's out for revenge.

He flambéed his wife and burned down half the town.

Sounds like he got what he deserved.

Oh, an illogical, crazy person. How unusual.

Before we go in here, maybe we should figure out what's motivating him.

There must be a reason he didn't cross over.

You're just scared.

Duh. He's huge and scary and throws fire.

But Claire, what about Grandpa and all the dozens of other souls he's comforted

over the years?

Care about his motivation?

You know what?

I'm with you. It's now or never. And what's it going to be?

Never. Now!

All right, now.

Ed?

I'm sorry, what?

Oh, uh, right.

We attack at dawn.

We attack now, man.

Right, well, let's get off of it, then.

Next stop, handbags, sporting goods, and unfettered evil.

Whoa, this place is so cool.

Do you really think this will work?

Oh, of course it will. It's a brilliant plan.

We three will distract...

while young Ian here wrestles Zachariah to the ground, holds him down, and

proceeds to just... That is not a plan.

Now, Ian and Claire suck him into the gizmo. We make him stay there until we

him back to the portal and toss him through. And let the people on the other

side deal with him from there.

I think mine's a much better plan.

Please tell me you're doing that lantern thing.

I'm also available for weddings and by Christmas.

And if it's not, then we're in real trouble.

What are you doing?

He's powering up.

He's powering up.

He keeps the souls that he's captured in that mine shaft below.

And he steals their life force.

This has to work.

Okay, on the count of three, start it up.

Okay, ready?

One.

Good luck.

Or die trying.

Isn't that kind of an empty promise?

Picky, picky, picky.

Well, I think it's safe to say he came this way.

But he's got to come back, right? So maybe we set a trap here and... No more

traps. It was a stupid idea. What was stupid was falling into that pit.

Look, I've seen dead people breathing all over me, so don't circle your knees.

Now, nobody panic. I know exactly what to do.

There's got to be some advantage to being dead.

Enjoy your stay in prison.

Um, I don't suppose you're going to let us go with just a stern talking to,

because I, for one, have totally learned my lesson.

You know why they sealed up this mine in the first place?

Natural gas leaks. Natural gas?

Seeps up through the ground. You're lucky you didn't suffocate.

And we're all lucky that old fire you started didn't blow up the place.

We didn't start a fire.

Let's go.

Let's go!

Okay,

this time I'm skipping right over the thank goodness you're alive part of the

speech and going directly to what do you think you were doing? We didn't do

anything wrong.

Trespassing, arson, destruction of public property.

Besides that stuff.

Let's go.

You know, this is the second time in two days I've been called out on account of

your kids.

And I guarantee you there will not be a third. I'm taking them back to Boston

first thing in the morning.

What?

March.

Dad, you can't.

Oh, yeah?

Just watch me.

Seriously, Dad, we didn't start that fire. Who did?

Zachariah Cull? How do you know?

Back in the car, Ian.

Not another word.

where Zachariah keeps all the souls that he's captured.

So then he captured Jumper, and... Jumper?

The other ghost, the one in the jar. Of course, right?

If he hadn't sacrificed himself, Claire might be lying at the bottom of a pit

right now. So basically, you can't send us home while Zachariah's still loose

and Grandpa hasn't crossed over.

Wow.

That is one pretty amazing story.

Come up with that all on your own?

I knew he wouldn't believe us.

We're not making this up. We're not acting out or whatever it is you think

doing. We're doing this because we have to, because we care about what happens

to Grandpa.

And apparently I don't?

Ian, caring is a two -way street, and your grandfather... What is it with the

men in this family?

You and Grandpa could barely say hello to each other. You two are always

fighting. Knock it off. We've got a lot more important things to worry about.

You know, that's just the kind of thing your mother would have said.

What in the world is going on out there?

Here, get the hose.

Claire, get the fire extinguisher in the kitchen.

Got it. All right, not too close, son, not too close.

Take it easy.

Atta boy.

I think we're all right, Claire. I think we're all right.

That's it.

What kind of insane prank is that?

Dad, I don't think it was a prank

Thanks a lot, guys. I really appreciate it. Yeah.

You know, I spent more time in the last three days talking to the police than I

did in the entire time I grew up here. And I was considered something of a

hooligan. You didn't tell them about... Uh, no. They didn't mention

flamethrowing ghosts as possible suspects, and I wasn't about to suggest

But you know Zachariah started it.

Or any pyro with a can of gasoline and a match.

Listen, I don't know who... Or what.

...started this, but I don't like people threatening my family.

Does that mean we don't have to go home today?

Consider this a reprieve. Yes!

Hmm. On one condition.

I don't want you getting into any more trouble.

Uh, could you be more specific?

Good thing he wasn't more specific.

That's about the tenth no trespassing sign we've passed.

I know. Makes me suspicious, doesn't it? Yeah.

Warner. We've got to find the remains of Zachariah's cabin. It's up here

someplace. I just want to see for myself.

All this legend of Zachariah called business just isn't adding up.

Claire, in the past two days, he's kidnapped our grandfather's soul, thrown

fireball at us.

Captured Jumper, the best partner a dead man ever had.

He even set a brush fire in our front yard.

I didn't say I liked the guy. I just think we'll never be able to stop him if

don't know what he wants.

Have a guess. The total destruction of the town and all its inhabitants.

But why?

Has she always been this way?

As long as I can remember.

The librarian said that when Zachariah's cabin blew up, it left a huge crater.

I think it's up here.

It's here!

So this is what Warner wants to turn into a tourist attraction?

Wait till you see the tourists.

And what exactly are we looking for?

I'm not 100 % positive.

Oh, okay. I'll shout out when I see it.

Yes, look!

I will bet you my entire year's allowance that there's some sort of pipe

bottom of this crater.

I don't usually advocate taking advantage of the really stupid, but you

take that bet.

It's free money.

Ed, would you mind telling me how deep it is? You can't be serious.

Oh, all right, Missy.

I've done worse things.

Oh, I think he's too far down.

Okay,

I lied.

That was the worst thing I ever did.

Uh, Ed, do you think you could distract him for a couple of minutes while we run

streaming through the forest? Oh, very nice.

Exploiting the dead, eh?

All right.

But you owe me one, okay? Big time.

Come on then, pussycat.

Come on then.

Want a little bit of this?

Come on then.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

Are you two all right?

Well, I've got poison oak or lime disease.

And I need some old newspapers or county records, anything from around the time

that Zachariah Cole was alive.

That I can help you with. The Steeple's Falls Gazette has been published

continuously since 1797.

And I bound them all into books.

Need to finish up some of your grandpa's work, huh?

Grandpa's work?

Well, those are the exact same books that you brought back to me the other

so I...

I figured that that's... Well, now that's... That's odd.

I'm sure that's where I put them.

Has anybody else been looking at the books?

Just Warner.

Thank you.

I know Warner took those books. He was looking for them the day of the funeral.

And Grandpa practically threw them at me that night.

I just can't imagine what's in them, though.

Look, Warner's truck.

Hey, kids, you looking for me?

Oh, hi, Mr. McDonald.

We were just looking at your dog.

He's pretty wiped out.

Yeah, well, we had a little problem with some trespassers up on the hill this

morning. He just about ran himself silly.

Some people just don't know when to stay away.

What did you say? You heard me.

Well, I'd better be getting along.

Tonight's the big night, and we still haven't finished constructing the

Hope you kids can make it.

We wouldn't miss it.

He doesn't scare me.

Hey, Jimmy, Johnny, you're looking good.

Thanks, Pop.

Hey, Pop. We have to find Warner's house.

We've got to see what's in those books.

Oi, is the coast clear?

What are you doing?

Well, wishing he'd get a new muffler. I didn't get a wink of sleep in there.

According to the mailbox, this is Warner's place. Just hurry up. We don't

when Warner's going to be back.

A classic spring lock with six interlocking tumblers. It's tough, but

opened worse.

We don't want you to pick it. Just go in there and open it. Fine.

But I'm surprised you're adding breaking and entering to your already burgeoning

criminal record.

It's not breaking and entering. It's just entering if the door is unlocked.

Hint. An artist cannot be rushed.

to see David Copperfield do that.

Ian, you check upstairs.

Ed, take the basement. I'll look around down there.

Oh, by all means. Send the ghoul into the basement.

They were under his bed, along with some pretty vicious dust buns.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but bad news is bad.

See you in five to ten.

Out the back.

Spills, spills.

Hello?

I thought people never...

through anybody there? Let me do it.

Those lousy kids. Oh,

Warner. Sorry.

What are you doing here?

I came to ask you a couple of questions about Zachariah Cull. Ha!

More than likely creating a diversion so your kids can get away.

What are you talking about? My house has been broken into.

Well, that certainly doesn't mean that Ian and Claire had anything to do with

it.

Well, those books are gone, so I know it was your kids.

Books? I'm going to go and make sure that those kids of yours are arrested.

Come on, Warner.

I think you're overreacting.

Maybe you just misplaced them.

I didn't misplace them.

Get out of my way.

Can I offer you a ride?

Hi, kids.

How was your afternoon?

Commit any grand larcenies that your old man should know about?

Dad, we can explain. Sit.

So these are the books, huh?

Dad, I think Warner's the one who set our driveway on fire. He warned me that

he... Ian, do you not get it? You are in big trouble, so be quiet.

I think he did it, too.

Somebody broke into my house. The last thing I'd check for is a couple of

library books.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

You're still in a lot of trouble.

Okay,

I've got one word for you.

Gas. Thanks for the warning.

No.

I think that Zachariah tried to drill a natural gas well and it blew up.

But the first natural gas well wasn't drilled until, like, 1821.

It was 50 miles from here.

What? It's in Grandpa's book.

Okay. You're both scaring me. And I have no idea what either one of you are

talking about.

We know that natural gas seeps up out of the ground at Coal Hill.

I mean, it's why they shut down the mine, right?

But Zachariah tried to dig a well to use it or store it or something.

That's what the pipe was doing in the ground, and the big crater was there

because that's where the whole thing blew up.

Zachariah wasn't crazy. He didn't kill his wife. He didn't burn down his house.

It was an accident.

And the point of this would be?

Zachariah is seeking revenge because he was wrongly accused of killing his wife

and was burned at the stake.

But what do the books have to do with it?

That I'm not 100 % clear on.

Thank you, Sherlock.

Here it is.

Rebecca... Carl, wife of local inventor Zachariah Carl, died last night in a

devastating explosion that consumed their home.

Here's a picture of her.

It is thought that Mr. Carl's unnatural invention was the cause of the blast.

Unnatural invention?

Who cares if Zachariah was innocent? The only thing I care about is Grandpa, and

no one seems to be doing anything about it. Well, we're doing everything we can

think of, son. We should be calling in the National Guard, SWAT teams,

around reading some stupid newspaper articles.

Ian. You don't care about him. You don't care about me. All you care about is

yourself.

Do you want me to go after him? No.

It's okay. He just needs some time to himself.

I know I did when I said exactly the same thing to my father.

Press harder. You're making three copies.

There you go.

Where's Mariah?

Well, it depends on... Oh.

Hi.

Uh -oh.

I was just down here looking for my earring. I lost my... Oh, look, it's

there. It was right there the whole time I was looking.

Have you ever lost something and you lug your sunglasses around and you're like,

where's my... Oh, there it is.

No. Not ever.

If you meet a witch and she offers you an apple, don't take it.

But why not?

Can't you see? I have dead people who need me. Sorry to make you wait. Welcome

to death. Enjoy yourself.

Are you hungry? You need a snack?

Oh, you found us.

Exactly. And my grandfather, who also happens to be dead, needs you.

Aren't there people you can call, report to the big cheese and... No, no, no.

Listen, little alive boy.

Nobody is going to report this to anyone, okay?

Now, I might seem all sugar and spice and fun, but you do not want to see my

side.

Don't. Even.

Fine, don't help.

Hey, when you get to the other side, I need you to give somebody a message. Oh,

no, no, look, look, I'm serious, okay?

If everybody just keeps their mouth shut, then I will finally be out of here

next week. Okay?

What?

Nobody stays here very long, except me.

You think after 250 years I'll at least get a watch.

So you're just going to abandon them while you take a free ride to the other

side?

I know you can't understand how much this means to me, but I am so close.

And all I want is just to be on the other side and be with my family.

Don't you think all those lost souls want that, too?

Zachariah has been out there for over 200 years.

It's about time someone stopped him.

You'd be a hero.

They'd probably call you over immediately.

Even apologize for making you wait so long.

Well, they should.

But you're probably no match for Zachariah.

Oh, please, are you kidding?

I could blast old Dragon Breath through that portal so fast he'd make his head

spin. Ed, hold the phones.

We're going to save some souls.

What phones?

Old Zachariah never even got a trial.

They hauled him into town the very next day and set him ablaze.

His last words were, wait for me, Rebecca.

He already knew that he wasn't going to cross over.

What were the good people of Steeple Falls afraid of, anyway?

They thought he was some sort of sorcerer. But he was a visionary.

He was the first person to harness natural gas for his lights and stuff.

was also different, and people are afraid of what they don't understand.

Do you think Warner knows the truth? People knew the real story. That would

some of the steam out of his scary little festival.

Then once everyone knows the truth about Zachariah, he won't have to stick

around. I'm sure that's all he ever wanted.

Now, that sounds kind of logical for a flame -throwing force of evil.

Dad. But it's worth a shot. Let's go.

me, or has he been working out?

I see you didn't learn your lesson the first time.

You thought we were just going to let you go on stealing souls?

I'll do as I please.

And right now, there's a little festival in my honor which I must attend.

So if you'll excuse me.

The Zachariah Kull, I presume.

I really thought he would be here.

Hey, Warner.

Hey, Richard.

We need you to tell people the truth about Zachariah Cole. The truth?

People need to know that he was innocent, that his wife died in a

accident, that he was executed for a crime he didn't commit.

Everything is in these books. You didn't want anyone to see. I knew you stole

those books. Okay, okay, fine. Have us all arrested.

Listen, are you going to tell everyone or are we?

Why do you care?

He's a myth, a legend, a ghost story.

Who cares if he was innocent or not? He's dead and gone.

Actually, he's kidnapped my grandfather's soul, so it really is kind

important.

Zachariah Cull is the perfect villain.

He's the person that people love. Fine.

We'll do it without you.

Not if I... No!

So,

Zack, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.

We aren't leaving here until you free those souls.

think they'd leave me in charge without a few tricks up these raggedy chiffon

sleeves, did you? Huh?

I only took those souls who didn't want to cross over to the other side, who had

unfinished business to attend to, like me.

What about Jumper?

What kind of a name is that, anyway?

Jumper. But his life force has proven to be particularly useful.

Wait, wait. Is that whole fiery, uh, slash, nasal thing new? Because I did

read it in any reports, people.

In the words of the immortal bard, hamstring.

I'm too old to die again.

It was a long shot, Claire.

I don't know that those books would have changed people's opinions of Zachariah.

Tom, we've got to find Ian.

I'm gonna grab Warner.

Warner!

Why don't you run, little one?

And you'll also know why I finally have to destroy this town.

Start talking.

Listen, I'm sorry.

Everything's going to be different.

We'll have the festival in your name.

I'll have another son, and I'll name him after you.

What else?

I knew you were innocent before we started the festival.

I guess I just never thought you'd mind.

Guess again.

You did it.

You did it.

my pumpkin.

Claire, what is it?

Grandpa? Hi.

Sorry to startle you, Dad.

How is this possible?

You're still asking that after tonight?

Do they know you're here?

I have a reprieve.

A nice lady at the center said you arranged this.

Thanks.

Anytime. And thanks for the books. They're a big help. Books?

I just wanted your father to see the box behind them. Thought he might figure it

out without my having to hang around so long.

Uh, figure what out?

I just want to say how proud I am of you.

Are you kidding?

That's why you stayed behind? You were a smart kid, but all you ever wanted to

do was hang around with your stupid old man.

Dad. All I ever wanted for you was to get out of this town, see the world, use

your gifts.

I was so worried about your future, I kind of lost track of your present.

And as different as I thought you were, looks like you're making all the same

mistakes.

Bye, Gramps.

We'll miss you.

So, do you have to rush off?

No. Eternity can wait a couple of hours.

I wasn't scared.

I was just biding my time.

Waiting for the right moment to make my move. And you know I got moved.

Is that the right call? He ain't so bad.

Crossed over just like everybody else. One leg at a time.

That's right.

I'm just surprised they haven't bounced him back.

Well, it's official.

My posting has been extended.

Indefinitely.

Thank you.

You'll be out before the next millennium.

Didn't capturing Zachariah and freeing all those souls count for anything?

Well, apparently, the rather public spectacle outweighed the benefits.

It's okay, though.

No, I'm fine. No, I'm good.

No, no, sit.

I'm just going to go back and do what I do every single day. I'll be up here.

I'm really sorry.

But, hey, we'll come and hang out.

That is, if the living are welcome.

Hey, aren't you guys going back to Boston?

Nope. Dad said we could stay.

Apparently, he wants to get in touch with his roots. Not to mention he loves

neighborhood.

Hey, guys.

Don't worry, I'm almost done.

Okay. Came up to see if you needed any help.

Oh, sure.

The scooper part keeps jamming. Oh.

Take a look.

That's right.

I think this is why I went into medicine.

There are certain

advantages to being dead.