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1
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[cheerful music playing]
2
00:00:10,541 --> 00:00:11,625
Am I happy?
3
00:00:11,708 --> 00:00:13,041
[chuckles]
4
00:00:13,625 --> 00:00:15,916
Yeah. I am, yeah.
5
00:00:16,791 --> 00:00:20,208
A few weeks ago I gave up my dream
of becoming a big-time rapper.
6
00:00:21,083 --> 00:00:22,375
[chitters]
7
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:26,333
I moved back to Schitten
to focus on my family.
8
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-Best decision of my life.
-[both laughing]
9
00:00:29,833 --> 00:00:31,000
What an adventure.
10
00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:34,041
[crashing]
11
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I've been doing some honest work…
12
00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:37,291
Ow!
13
00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:38,375
SCHITTEN-ON-HAVEL THEATER
14
00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:41,083
…and finally spending
some quality time with my son.
15
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:42,750
Watch out, folks!
16
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:43,791
ASTEROID UP
17
00:00:43,875 --> 00:00:45,416
Asteroid flying.
18
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,208
THE BEST DAD
(IN & AROUND SCHITTEN)
19
00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:50,250
-[Tupac cooing]
-Schitten for life.
20
00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:52,458
FERRES FOR SCHITTEN
21
00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:54,083
-What could be better than that?
-[burps]
22
00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,625
[laughing]
23
00:00:55,708 --> 00:00:56,875
Everyone smile!
24
00:00:56,958 --> 00:00:59,458
-[all laughing]
-Yep, I'm happy.
25
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:01,750
So happy.
26
00:01:02,541 --> 00:01:04,791
-[cheerful music stops]
-I meant, happy with the new couch?
27
00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:06,750
Oh right.
28
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:07,791
Yeah.
29
00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:09,791
And what you're saying isn't even true.
30
00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:11,916
You're not happy. We can all see that.
31
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,375
[angrily] You were the only one
who didn't smile in the family picture.
32
00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:17,000
I'm happy. Really.
33
00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:21,041
Papa, it's so nice that you chose me,
but just admit it, will you?
34
00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:22,541
Admit what?
35
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That you miss rapping.
36
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:25,958
[pensive music playing]
37
00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:29,041
[Tupac] So Toni started thinking
about the past few weeks.
38
00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:35,666
[quacks]
39
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,083
[man] You're a piece of shit,
Toni Fleischer!
40
00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:46,166
[Tupac] Of course he missed rapping.
41
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,750
Toni missed rapping
more than anything else.
42
00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:52,375
But he made a choice.
He chose Schitten, he chose Charly.
43
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:54,583
And he wanted to think it was all great.
44
00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:55,916
I don't miss anything, okay?
45
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,208
-You--
-Don't miss anything.
46
00:01:57,291 --> 00:02:00,875
Everything's great. My life's great.
Schitten's great. Great, great, great.
47
00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:04,666
[Tupac] He hoped that by saying it
often enough, it'd eventually come true.
48
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,500
This is great.
I mean, I love it, this is great.
49
00:02:07,583 --> 00:02:09,583
Great. Really great.
50
00:02:09,666 --> 00:02:10,958
Quit hassling me!
51
00:02:12,916 --> 00:02:13,875
[man] Um…
52
00:02:13,958 --> 00:02:15,083
[Toni] I love the couch!
53
00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:16,500
[sighs]
54
00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:17,833
It's very nice.
55
00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:20,000
Yup.
56
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,250
We need a solution for this.
57
00:02:28,708 --> 00:02:30,541
I wanted my papa to choose me.
58
00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,500
But that was wrong.
59
00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:34,833
He's unhappy and he misses rapping.
60
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,250
And there's only one person
who can help him now.
61
00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:41,291
This is Mr. Paule.
62
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Toni's best friend.
63
00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:44,333
Please, sir.
64
00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:47,375
We're begging you to come
to the premiere of our school play
65
00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:50,166
and give my papa one last chance.
66
00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:51,625
[laughs]
67
00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:54,541
No.
68
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:56,625
[hip-hop playing]
69
00:02:58,583 --> 00:02:59,416
[Paule] Charly…
70
00:03:00,416 --> 00:03:02,125
close your eyes for a sec, please.
71
00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:04,458
[groaning, brief clinking]
72
00:03:04,541 --> 00:03:06,958
CRAP HAPPENS
73
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:09,666
-[radio jingle playing]
-[woman] ♪ News from Schitten ♪
74
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:10,791
[man] Advertisement.
75
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:13,333
-[dramatic music playing]
-[student] Veronica Ferres presents…
76
00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:16,208
the children of
the Veronica Ferres Comprehensive School.
77
00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:18,291
[all] Our Shining Sun.
78
00:03:18,958 --> 00:03:20,208
[student] One crew.
79
00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:22,375
One mission.
80
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,333
Tonight.
81
00:03:24,416 --> 00:03:27,416
The event that
everyone's been waiting for.
82
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,916
Armageddon.
83
00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:33,166
[crying]
84
00:03:33,666 --> 00:03:35,250
[student] Adapted and directed by…
85
00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:38,708
-[distorted screaming]
-[student] …Mr. Paule.
86
00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:42,500
Sponsored by Veronica Ferres.
87
00:03:43,083 --> 00:03:44,875
SCHITTEN-ON-HAVEL THEATER
88
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,250
TODAY: ARMAGEDDON
TOMORROW: THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
89
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,916
[Tupac] The day of the premiere was here.
90
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:48,833
SOLD OUT
91
00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:51,250
Careful under the asteroid.
92
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:53,833
One hour until showtime!
93
00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:56,833
Not here, you idiots!
94
00:03:56,916 --> 00:03:58,791
[Tupac] Preparations were in full swing.
95
00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:01,166
Check this out.
This one moves the asteroid.
96
00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:03,958
[tweets]
97
00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:04,916
This one?
98
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,833
This makes it crash onto stage.
99
00:04:06,916 --> 00:04:09,833
But we're not doing that,
because of Kevin's "accident."
100
00:04:11,416 --> 00:04:13,958
Mr. Toni? Soundcheck time, okay?
101
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,500
Yeah.
102
00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:19,333
[Tupac] And Toni did
what people in his family always did
103
00:04:19,416 --> 00:04:21,208
whenever things got hard.
104
00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:26,583
[crowd chanting] Toni! Toni! Toni!
105
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:30,541
[chanting continues]
106
00:04:30,625 --> 00:04:31,916
[chanting fades]
107
00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:35,541
Test, test.
108
00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,750
-[Tupac] He buried his feelings.
-Microphone's ready.
109
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:41,083
[Tupac] But Charly was ready
to force him into happiness tonight.
110
00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:42,791
[quietly] All according to plan?
111
00:04:42,875 --> 00:04:44,250
The elk is taking a leak.
112
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,541
What?
113
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,416
Well, yeah. All good, all good.
114
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,166
Okay, folks, gather round. [claps]
115
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,916
Listen up, everyone.
116
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,791
We're finally premiering.
117
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,416
-[sentimental music playing]
-Armageddon.
118
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:01,208
Adapted and directed by me.
119
00:05:01,791 --> 00:05:02,791
Paule.
120
00:05:04,166 --> 00:05:05,916
And it fills me with joy,
121
00:05:06,458 --> 00:05:07,708
-[music swells]
-And with pride--
122
00:05:07,791 --> 00:05:09,750
-[music stops]
-Can you not pick your nose, Claudi?
123
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:11,125
Sorry, Mr. Paule.
124
00:05:11,208 --> 00:05:12,125
It's no big deal.
125
00:05:13,125 --> 00:05:14,291
In the Middle Ages…
126
00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:16,416
-[music restarts]
-…actors who failed on stage
127
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:19,000
were tied up to horses
and ripped into pieces.
128
00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:21,291
What I'm trying to say is…
129
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,583
not everything was bad back then.
130
00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:28,208
Okay.
131
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:31,208
Let's open the doors.
132
00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:33,916
Toni, head over to the control console.
133
00:05:34,916 --> 00:05:36,041
And you…
134
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:38,625
[inhales shakily]
135
00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:40,500
have fun.
136
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:42,291
[laughs awkwardly] Oh…
137
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,208
I'm so proud.
138
00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:46,833
Of me.
139
00:05:46,916 --> 00:05:47,833
[sobs]
140
00:05:47,916 --> 00:05:49,083
Break a leg, champ.
141
00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,791
Where's Grandpa Johnny?
142
00:05:51,375 --> 00:05:53,875
I mean, he said he wanted to come by
before the show starts.
143
00:05:53,958 --> 00:05:55,333
[mysterious music playing]
144
00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:57,750
[Tupac] Charly had good reason to worry.
145
00:05:57,833 --> 00:05:59,583
The asparagus season was over,
146
00:05:59,666 --> 00:06:04,000
but a person like Veronica Ferres would
never let a harvest cycle hold her back.
147
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,666
They've already harvested it all.
148
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,208
Not a single blue asparagus left?
149
00:06:10,166 --> 00:06:12,208
So what's the Mayor's next move, then?
150
00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:13,791
That's what I'm wondering too.
151
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:16,833
[Nancy sighs]
152
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,208
Okay. Nancy-Pants,
can you wonder a bit faster,
153
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:20,833
'cause we're running late for the play,
154
00:06:20,916 --> 00:06:23,750
and Charly has a tip-top plan
for Toni actually, y'know?
155
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:25,833
I don't believe it.
156
00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,583
Get outta here! Get lost!
157
00:06:28,666 --> 00:06:30,125
Argh!
158
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,375
Those bastards.
159
00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,041
[Nancy whimpers]
160
00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:40,583
[gasps]
161
00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:41,958
Hello there.
162
00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:44,041
Oh!
163
00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:48,125
[front of the house call ringing]
164
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,000
[Tupac] Apart from Johnny and Nancy,
all of Schitten was there.
165
00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:52,833
Nance-mouse, it's me again.
166
00:06:52,916 --> 00:06:54,208
Do you still love me?
167
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,166
Please call me back, I'm worried.
168
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,291
[Tupac] Everyone was there.
169
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,291
[in stupid voice] I say, with Dr. Snuts,
what you see is what you get.
170
00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:01,291
[woman] Oh, sure.
171
00:07:01,791 --> 00:07:03,833
I gave him 20 marks! Can you believe that?
172
00:07:03,916 --> 00:07:06,791
What? That's almost 15 francs!
That's unbelievable.
173
00:07:06,875 --> 00:07:08,041
[man] Oh, Tropical Island?
174
00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:09,083
-[woman] No.
-[man] Here?
175
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:11,208
[woman] Well, Tropical Island
changed my life.
176
00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:12,208
[man] Oh.
177
00:07:12,291 --> 00:07:13,833
[woman] I have
Tropical athlete's foot.
178
00:07:13,916 --> 00:07:15,958
Have you seen Nancy? I can't reach her.
179
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:16,958
-Mm-mm.
-I'm Doris.
180
00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:17,875
Hi, Doris.
181
00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,333
[Tupac] As with every school play,
182
00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:23,458
the audience expected nothing less
than groundbreaking entertainment.
183
00:07:23,541 --> 00:07:24,791
Theater just sucks [bleep].
184
00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:27,416
Yeah, man.
Actors yammering about feelings.
185
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,166
[bleep] theater, [bleep] feelings.
186
00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:32,958
[Tupac] And the icing on the cake,
if things went according to Charly's plan,
187
00:07:33,041 --> 00:07:34,750
would be Toni's performance.
188
00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:37,791
But Toni himself didn't know
anything about that yet.
189
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,458
[front of house call bell ringing]
190
00:07:40,541 --> 00:07:41,666
[low growl]
191
00:07:43,416 --> 00:07:44,333
[boy] Woo…
192
00:07:44,416 --> 00:07:45,250
[low growl]
193
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,500
[girl] Bang.
194
00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,416
-[dino growling]
-[girl] Baaang.
195
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:51,958
I am the Earth.
196
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:53,125
[audience] Aw.
197
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:57,333
Long ago, back when dinosaurs still roamed
198
00:07:57,416 --> 00:07:59,583
-the forests of this fertile planet…
-[growling]
199
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:01,791
-Stupid.
-So dumb.
200
00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:02,875
[Claudi] …a chunk of rock…
201
00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:08,208
almost ten kilometers in diameter
brought everything to an end.
202
00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:10,208
Ouch!
203
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:16,500
Upon impact, it unleashed
the energy of 10,000 atomic bombs.
204
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,958
[audience gasps]
205
00:08:18,041 --> 00:08:19,541
[whispering] So many wonderful bombs.
206
00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:25,750
[Claudi] It happened once,
and it will happen again.
207
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:27,166
[audience gasps]
208
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,875
[student in dino suit crying]
209
00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:31,625
There's just one question: when?
210
00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:33,958
-When?
-[Claudi] The answer is…
211
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,625
now.
212
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:40,708
[playing dramatic music]
213
00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:43,375
A massive asteroid
is barreling toward Earth.
214
00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:46,291
-[mechanism whirring]
-[creaking and rumbling]
215
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:51,208
Wow.
216
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:55,416
[Claudi] And once again, only a team
of American heroes can save the world.
217
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:59,583
["America the Beautiful" playing on organ]
218
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,083
[Paule] All right, Mr. President.
219
00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:09,041
So in short, you want me and my boys
to fly up to the asteroid,
220
00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:10,458
drill a hole in it,
221
00:09:10,541 --> 00:09:13,250
blow it up,
and save the whole goddamn planet?
222
00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:18,625
Yeah.
223
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:19,958
[Paule] Great.
224
00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,208
So let's get to work. We have a lot to do.
225
00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:23,916
[laughing]
226
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,375
[hushed] Nancy, where are you?
Things are heating up here.
227
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:27,625
TOWN HALL
228
00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:29,750
-[Johnny crying]
-[blade rings]
229
00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:32,250
[whimpering]
230
00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:34,333
[sinister music playing]
231
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:47,583
[whimpers]
232
00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:50,375
[laughs]
233
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:51,625
-That home-baked?
-Mm-hmm.
234
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,500
-[chuckles]
-Way to go, Stefan.
235
00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:54,416
-Yeah.
-[laughs]
236
00:10:02,916 --> 00:10:04,041
-You first.
-[screams]
237
00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:05,625
Come here!
238
00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:07,166
No, no!
239
00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:09,083
[muffled yelling]
240
00:10:09,166 --> 00:10:11,166
[Johnny screaming]
241
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,375
[gasping]
242
00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:17,625
[glass clinks]
243
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,416
Whiskey?
244
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,583
Looks like it.
245
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:22,166
Do you want a glass?
246
00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:23,791
Uh… Oh, no, thank you.
247
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:26,166
When I drink,
I turn into a different person.
248
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,166
A really annoying person, don't ask.
249
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,625
Really, really annoying.
250
00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:33,666
Let's cut to the chase, Johnny Carrera.
251
00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:35,583
-Oh, okay.
-Those piss-drinking Berliners
252
00:10:35,666 --> 00:10:38,666
are buying up all our asparagus.
We can't keep up with the orders.
253
00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:41,291
I'm gonna have to start planting
on a large scale right away.
254
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,208
Uh-huh.
255
00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:45,041
We tried growing it in the lab.
It didn't work, unfortunately.
256
00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:48,625
Why does it make your urine odorless?
257
00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,750
What's the secret behind this asparagus?
258
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:52,708
What do you do to it?!
259
00:10:52,791 --> 00:10:54,958
Uh… I really don't know.
260
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:55,875
[scoffs]
261
00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:57,916
[exhales] Goddammit.
262
00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:00,458
I've tried everything.
263
00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:02,291
[crying] I'm…
264
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:04,916
I'm a nervous wreck.
265
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,000
I'm… I'm terribly sorry.
266
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,583
-[sniffles]
-But please don't cry, Mrs. Mayor.
267
00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:13,791
Maybe this special asparagus
only grows on our special land.
268
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:22,583
And will you sell me
your special land, darling?
269
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,333
I feel honored…
270
00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:30,000
erect, and really confused,
but sadly, I can't. [awkward laugh]
271
00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:33,375
Fine.
272
00:11:35,916 --> 00:11:37,958
So, kill him,
and we'll kick the family out.
273
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,708
Wow, that escalated quickly.
274
00:11:39,791 --> 00:11:42,791
The whole town is at the theater anyway.
No one will hear him scream.
275
00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:44,083
Where are you going, Mom?
276
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:45,125
I have to work.
277
00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:46,958
Show my face, y'know.
278
00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:48,708
Always work.
279
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:49,833
Never Sergej.
280
00:11:49,916 --> 00:11:53,958
Aw, that breaks my heart. Don't you wanna
stay a little longer, please, for Sergej?
281
00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:55,125
Please stay a little longer.
282
00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:56,333
No.
283
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,833
I'm really sorry, Sergej.
284
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,291
[grunting]
285
00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:12,750
[Johnny laughing nervously]
286
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:14,416
Thank you, Melanie.
287
00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:18,458
I'm so dead.
288
00:12:18,541 --> 00:12:19,625
That was neat.
289
00:12:19,708 --> 00:12:22,041
[Johnny screams and cries]
290
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,833
Please, please, please!
291
00:12:23,916 --> 00:12:25,833
[Johnny screaming]
292
00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:28,333
[soft music playing]
293
00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:29,500
[Tupac] Back in the theater,
294
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,416
the wise words of Michael Bay
echoed from the stage.
295
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,125
[Sascha] Baby, do you think
anybody else in the world
296
00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:37,666
is doing the exact same thing as us,
right this moment?
297
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,875
[Köbi] Yeah. Well, I hope so.
298
00:12:40,958 --> 00:12:44,083
Otherwise what the hell
are we trying to save?
299
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:45,541
Dude, that's brilliant.
300
00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:48,166
[Tupac] Seeing Sascha like that,
301
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:52,000
Charly felt happy for her
and Köbi for the first time.
302
00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:57,791
And also a little embarrassed
that he had a thing for his cousin.
303
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,750
Who doesn't know the feeling?
304
00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:02,375
Play for me, Ben Affleck.
305
00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:05,166
Uh, yeah, okay.
306
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:09,916
[playing sick riff]
307
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000
[playing "Star-Spangled Banner"
à la Jimi Hendrix]
308
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,125
[Tupac quacking]
309
00:13:14,666 --> 00:13:16,083
I think they really like it.
310
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:19,583
[electric guitar continues]
311
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:20,791
Hello, it's me.
312
00:13:21,541 --> 00:13:22,458
I'm here.
313
00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:26,333
[guitar continues]
314
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:27,833
[Toni] Dalia Müller-Müller?
315
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:32,250
Dr. Drehws? What the fuck?
316
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,583
Hey, you all set?
317
00:13:33,666 --> 00:13:35,916
Dr. Drehws in the audience right now, bro.
318
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,333
-What?
-Yeah!
319
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:38,875
Why? What's he doing here?
320
00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:40,125
-What a coincidence.
-Yeah.
321
00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:41,833
[continues playing]
322
00:13:41,916 --> 00:13:44,083
-Go out there and rap for him.
-What?
323
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,625
Well, since he's here,
might as well go on stage and rap.
324
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:47,541
Are you nuts?
325
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:48,708
-Hey, stop!
-What?
326
00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:52,208
Wait, this isn't a coincidence.
You did this, didn't you?
327
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:55,500
What? Nah. Nah.
328
00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,291
Yeah, okay. Hear me out, Toni.
329
00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:58,875
-I'm your friend.
-We haven't really--
330
00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:00,166
Your very best friend. Shh.
331
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,375
I know you. You have a gift, man.
332
00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:04,666
You belong on stage.
333
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:06,166
How'd you even make that happen?
334
00:14:06,666 --> 00:14:09,416
Well, Charly and I went to the label
and asked him nicely. That's all.
335
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,791
-Really?
-Yuh-huh.
336
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:14,041
[guitar continues]
337
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:16,416
[Drehws grunting]
338
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,083
Wait… is he tied up?
339
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:22,041
What did you do, Paule?
Are you completely insane?
340
00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:23,583
Things got out of control, Toni.
341
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,250
-[Drehws] Stop! [groans]
-[aluminum thudding]
342
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:29,291
-[grunting and groaning]
-[blow landing]
343
00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:31,750
Then we carried him, me and Dalia. Uh…
344
00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:33,666
We rolled him up in a carpet,
345
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:37,375
held him hostage in my garage for a while,
then brought him here to the theater.
346
00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:39,916
[plays final note]
347
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,208
[audience clapping, cheering]
348
00:14:44,166 --> 00:14:45,875
I laid into him pretty hard, man.
349
00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:48,458
[Paule whimpering and sobbing]
350
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:50,458
Paule?
351
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:51,625
-Not now!
-Paule!
352
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:53,000
[cheering and applause continue]
353
00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:55,958
How am I supposed to go on stage
and rap now? He hates my guts!
354
00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:59,208
[cheering, applause, whistling]
355
00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:01,708
[Dalia] Toni!
356
00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:07,625
Listen to me. You're gonna get out there
and rap like your life depends on it.
357
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,166
But I don't even want to do this!
358
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,458
I vouched for you, man.
359
00:15:11,541 --> 00:15:12,833
I left my family in the lurch.
360
00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:15,291
-I took a whole lot of debts for you.
-What?
361
00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:17,125
-That was edited out. Forget it.
-[tudum]
362
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,166
The point is,
363
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,333
we believe in you.
364
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,333
I believe in you.
365
00:15:22,416 --> 00:15:23,666
Toni,
366
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,791
your son did all this for you.
367
00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:29,500
[applause die down]
368
00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:32,208
I wish I had a lovable son like Charly.
369
00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:34,750
I'm standing right here, Papa.
370
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,833
I wanted you to hear that.
371
00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:39,500
[grunts]
372
00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:41,958
The kid's gonna be really tough.
[whimpers]
373
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:45,750
[organ playing somber music]
374
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:47,458
You're in the way, you losers!
375
00:15:47,541 --> 00:15:48,500
Sorry.
376
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,541
[Paule] Lisa,
crank up the lights, goddammit!
377
00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:53,041
Shit, shit, shit.
378
00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:56,875
[Tupac] A battle of emotions
raged in Toni's head.
379
00:15:56,958 --> 00:16:02,416
Confusion, stress, a touch of hunger,
worry about his son's criminal tendencies…
380
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,791
He was completely overwhelmed.
381
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:07,291
But that wasn't
the only battle going on right now.
382
00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:09,000
-[blade whips]
-[Johnny] Ahh!
383
00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,208
[sobbing] Sergej, listen.
384
00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:13,541
You don't have to kill me
just because your mom wants it.
385
00:16:13,625 --> 00:16:15,500
You're your own person.
386
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:18,041
You are Sergej Ferres.
387
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:22,166
Mama doesn't let me use her name.
388
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,625
Okay, what is it then?
389
00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:25,875
Sergej?
390
00:16:25,958 --> 00:16:27,166
Yes, but I mean your last name.
391
00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:29,583
Licious.
392
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:32,125
Sergej Licious?
393
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,125
Yeah.
394
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,125
Sergej Licious? Really?
395
00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:38,416
Wow.
396
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,791
I admire her three-decade,
two-continent spanning film career,
397
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,500
but Veronica Ferres is freaking insane.
398
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:44,500
[blade rings]
399
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:46,291
Ahh! No, no, no!
400
00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:48,375
[Tupac] The evening was spiraling
out of control.
401
00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:49,375
Thank you.
402
00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:52,208
-[screaming]
-[Tupac] Completely.
403
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:54,250
Nearly missed the crown jewels, buddy!
404
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,083
-[taser clicking]
-[Tupac] Toni was at his wit's end,
405
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,916
thinking things couldn't
possibly get any weirder.
406
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,333
Until…
407
00:17:04,416 --> 00:17:10,000
♪ I could stay awake
Just to hear you breathing ♪
408
00:17:10,083 --> 00:17:11,333
[Tupac] …Paule showed up.
409
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,166
♪ Watch you smile while you are sleepin' ♪
410
00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:19,083
♪ While you're far away and dreamin' ♪
411
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:25,166
♪ I could spend my life
In this sweet surrender ♪
412
00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:32,791
♪ I could stay lost
In this moment… forever ♪
413
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:36,875
♪ Where every moment spent with you ♪
414
00:17:36,958 --> 00:17:41,750
♪ Is a moment I treasure ♪
415
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:46,125
♪ I don't wanna close my eyes ♪
416
00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:48,416
♪ I don't wanna fall asleep ♪
417
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,625
♪ 'Cause I'd miss you, babe ♪
418
00:17:50,708 --> 00:17:53,708
♪ And I don't wanna miss a thing ♪
419
00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:56,708
♪ 'Cause even when I dream of you ♪
420
00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:59,666
♪ The sweetest dreams would never do ♪
421
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:01,666
♪ I'd still miss you, baby ♪
422
00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:05,041
♪ And I don't wanna miss a thing ♪
423
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,083
-[groaning]
-[crashing]
424
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,791
[wheezing cough]
425
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:17,583
So… much… [coughs] pain.
426
00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:19,083
[groaning]
427
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,708
♪ I don't wanna miss a thing… ♪
428
00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:24,458
-[celestial harp playing]
-Huh…
429
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,625
Am I dead?
430
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:29,500
[Wera] Not yet.
431
00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:31,125
Wera!
432
00:18:31,625 --> 00:18:33,541
You cannot give up yet, Johnny Carrera.
433
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,833
Why not? I want to join you, honey.
434
00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:38,083
Drink, Johnny. Drink!
435
00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:39,500
[gasps]
436
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:40,416
[Wera] Drink.
437
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:45,791
I guess I drew the shortest straw,
so I'm staying behind. To save the world!
438
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,708
-[grunting]
-[yelling]
439
00:18:48,791 --> 00:18:50,458
[gasping and panting]
440
00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:51,916
Take care of my little Grace.
441
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,583
-[grunts]
-Go marry her!
442
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,666
-Okay!
-[both groaning]
443
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:57,125
Ow!
444
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,083
[Paule grunts]
445
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,166
[grunts]
446
00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:07,375
-[applause]
-Toni, do you hear me? On my signal,
447
00:19:07,458 --> 00:19:09,500
you come out and start rapping. Okay?
448
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:12,833
[groaning]
449
00:19:12,916 --> 00:19:13,916
Ugh!
450
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:14,875
[panting]
451
00:19:14,958 --> 00:19:16,041
[Wera echoing] Drink.
452
00:19:16,583 --> 00:19:18,541
Ooh, whiskey.
453
00:19:20,041 --> 00:19:20,875
[strains]
454
00:19:20,958 --> 00:19:25,166
-[slurping]
-[supernatural rumbling effect]
455
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:33,000
-[grunting and groaning]
-[bones and joints cracking]
456
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,958
[Tupac] The reason
Johnny Carrera doesn't drink
457
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:39,083
is because alcohol actually
turns him into a different person.
458
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,416
"Johnny Liquor."
459
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,041
Bunga-Bunga, chubby cheeks.
460
00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:43,500
[Tupac] A corny one-liner machine.
461
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,833
Choo-Choo! All aboard the Amtrak
Beer Shits. Next stop, Boozeville!
462
00:19:47,916 --> 00:19:49,500
-[laughing]
-[Tupac] An antiquated bully.
463
00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:52,541
So, I'm about
to rearrange your teeth, sucka.
464
00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:56,333
-[chuckles]
-[Tupac] And a brutal fighter.
465
00:19:56,833 --> 00:19:58,416
Time to die, fucker.
466
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,333
[grunting]
467
00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:04,625
[yells, laughs]
468
00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:07,125
[exclaims, laughs]
469
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:08,458
Melanie!
470
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,041
[laughing]
471
00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:13,083
Oh yeah! Thanks, honey.
472
00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:14,750
[yelling]
473
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,375
[laughing]
474
00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:19,500
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Ahh!
475
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:22,291
[grunts]
476
00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:23,208
YOU, VOTE FOR FERRES
477
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:24,708
[laughing]
478
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,000
[grunts, laughs]
479
00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:28,833
[Sergej whimpers]
480
00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:35,291
All the fighting has
reduced the alcohol in my blood.
481
00:20:35,375 --> 00:20:39,791
I need to keep drinking
or I won't be able to fight!
482
00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:43,458
I need whiskey to survive.
483
00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:45,458
Oh… Oh no!
484
00:20:46,291 --> 00:20:47,416
[Johnny whimpering]
485
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,125
-Ow!
-[grunting]
486
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:52,291
I was the one who called
about the duck in the tree.
487
00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,000
[phone ringing]
488
00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,208
[sighs]
489
00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:58,958
24-hour towing service, Fleischer.
490
00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,416
[Sergej] A duck is stuck in a tree.
491
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,583
[tree branch breaking,
Wera screaming, thunder cracking]
492
00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,083
You monster.
493
00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:09,708
[straining]
494
00:21:09,791 --> 00:21:11,458
[Johnny] No, no, no, no, no!
495
00:21:11,541 --> 00:21:13,833
Not the middle finger of death.
496
00:21:13,916 --> 00:21:15,583
My sensei says it's forbidden.
497
00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:17,833
[Tupac] As Johnny's life
flashed before his eyes…
498
00:21:17,916 --> 00:21:19,541
[both yelling]
499
00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:23,791
…Toni thought about what
the rest of his life should look like.
500
00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:25,333
[Paule] This is Harry Stamper.
501
00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:29,541
A certain person's gotta come on stage
before I complete my mission.
502
00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:33,083
A person who hasn't always
been nice to their son.
503
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:35,541
But this person
has learned their lesson tonight.
504
00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:39,250
I've been an awful mother! [sobs]
505
00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:40,458
[Paule] No.
506
00:21:40,541 --> 00:21:42,291
Uh, nope, no, no.
507
00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:44,541
I knew you loved me deep down, Papa.
508
00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:45,666
Shut it, Kevin!
509
00:21:46,333 --> 00:21:47,166
[sighs]
510
00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:48,375
I actually mean…
511
00:21:49,791 --> 00:21:52,041
-Toni.
-[Tupac] Toni's mind was racing.
512
00:21:52,125 --> 00:21:54,333
If he goes out there now
and raps, and it works,
513
00:21:54,416 --> 00:21:57,166
he'll lose Charly because
Charly and rap can't work.
514
00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:58,333
But if he doesn't go out,
515
00:21:58,416 --> 00:22:00,916
he'll never be happy because
Toni without rap doesn't work either.
516
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,833
Shh!
517
00:22:01,916 --> 00:22:04,375
What are you supposed to rap
for a tied-up record label boss?
518
00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:05,541
Come on, what are you doing?
519
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,958
-[Tupac] Ugh, it's too much pressure!
-Just keep acting.
520
00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,458
[Paule groaning]
521
00:22:10,541 --> 00:22:13,125
[Paule] Ah, Toni has to
come on stage and rap.
522
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,333
[Toni, hushed] Cut that out!
523
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,750
[groaning]
524
00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:18,625
[Paule] Or Harry Stamper
will be done for good. [groans]
525
00:22:18,708 --> 00:22:20,166
[Johnny screaming and crying]
526
00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:21,166
[humming from finger]
527
00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:22,166
[woman] Hey!
528
00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:28,833
Get your hands off my Papa.
529
00:22:28,916 --> 00:22:30,291
Aww!
530
00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:37,916
[distorted yelling]
531
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:38,916
[distorted] Whoa!
532
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,791
[Nancy continues yelling]
533
00:22:40,875 --> 00:22:42,083
[distorted screaming]
534
00:22:42,166 --> 00:22:43,583
[distorted yelling]
535
00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:44,666
[distorted screaming]
536
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:46,333
SCHITTEN-ON-HAVEL
537
00:22:46,416 --> 00:22:47,625
[distorted yelling]
538
00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,250
Ahh!
539
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:54,375
[exhales]
540
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,375
Well, guess you could say
he got stamped out.
541
00:22:58,458 --> 00:23:00,208
-Shut it, Johnny.
-Okay.
542
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:05,375
Wait, you were tied up, right?
How did you free yourself?
543
00:23:05,458 --> 00:23:07,875
I've been married 20 years.
I'm an expert in bondage.
544
00:23:07,958 --> 00:23:09,916
Sergej, you're right.
545
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,791
Your mother should be with you when you…
546
00:23:12,416 --> 00:23:13,791
Goddammit.
547
00:23:14,458 --> 00:23:15,458
[exhales]
548
00:23:17,708 --> 00:23:20,000
You'll never take me alive.
549
00:23:20,958 --> 00:23:22,750
-Huh!
-[smoke hissing]
550
00:23:22,833 --> 00:23:25,250
[Johnny] What a graceful way
to make an exit.
551
00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:27,791
-We have to follow her.
-Can't we do that later?
552
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:31,666
If we hurry, we might make it in time
to catch the finale at the theater.
553
00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:33,833
-Sounds good.
-[excited grunts]
554
00:23:33,916 --> 00:23:36,791
Ahh! Ugh!
555
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,916
-Come on, Toni.
-You're scaring the children!
556
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,583
[groaning]
557
00:23:40,666 --> 00:23:42,291
-Shit.
-[Tupac] In that moment,
558
00:23:42,375 --> 00:23:45,583
Charly and Toni operated
like father and son for the first time.
559
00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:46,875
[Charly] Papa?
560
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:47,916
[Tupac] Telepathically.
561
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:48,833
[Charly] Papa?
562
00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:50,291
[Toni] Huso? That you?
563
00:23:50,375 --> 00:23:51,375
What?
564
00:23:52,041 --> 00:23:53,958
No, it's Charly. Who's Huso?
565
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:57,375
Uh… Never mind.
How can I hear your thoughts?
566
00:23:57,458 --> 00:23:58,791
Communicating telepathically.
567
00:23:58,875 --> 00:24:00,666
-Wow, really? Cool.
-Mm-hmm.
568
00:24:01,208 --> 00:24:02,291
[screaming]
569
00:24:02,375 --> 00:24:06,458
[Toni] Okay, first of all, you're grounded
for kidnapping a record label boss.
570
00:24:06,541 --> 00:24:08,625
[Charly sighs] Yeah, okay. Okay.
571
00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:09,958
Now get out there and rap.
572
00:24:10,041 --> 00:24:13,208
But what do we do if I make it
and my career takes off?
573
00:24:13,291 --> 00:24:14,208
What about us?
574
00:24:14,708 --> 00:24:16,625
-I won't have any time.
-I know.
575
00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:18,333
[Toni] It'll be fucking exhausting.
576
00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:21,000
Papa, we'll figure it out together.
577
00:24:22,625 --> 00:24:23,791
Grandma likes the idea too.
578
00:24:26,708 --> 00:24:30,625
[Wera] Do something right for once, kid.
Go out there and rap.
579
00:24:32,291 --> 00:24:33,250
[exhales]
580
00:24:38,791 --> 00:24:42,208
[keyboard playing touching music]
581
00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:00,666
Uh…
582
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:02,541
Hello.
583
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:05,833
[Toni clears throat]
584
00:25:08,541 --> 00:25:11,125
♪ Uh, aw yeah, straight outta Schitten ♪
585
00:25:11,208 --> 00:25:13,708
♪ They said I'd never make it
With the rhymes that I've written ♪
586
00:25:13,791 --> 00:25:16,208
♪ On the microphone
Escaping where I'm from ♪
587
00:25:16,291 --> 00:25:18,791
♪ And then that's when
The fame and money would come ♪
588
00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:21,583
♪ And yet I thought
My life was much harder ♪
589
00:25:21,666 --> 00:25:24,208
♪ But nothing could prepare me
For being a father ♪
590
00:25:24,916 --> 00:25:29,125
♪ Can you understand the plight
Of becoming a parent overnight? ♪
591
00:25:29,208 --> 00:25:31,541
♪ Without a game plan
How could I do this? ♪
592
00:25:31,625 --> 00:25:34,083
♪ My stepfather is younger than me
I insist ♪
593
00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:36,791
♪ A real kooky dude
Sick motherfucker ♪
594
00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:39,458
♪ You might call him a schmuck
But me, I call him Papa ♪
595
00:25:39,541 --> 00:25:42,083
♪ Take care of others
Is what you gotta do ♪
596
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:44,250
♪ But living for myself
Was all that I knew ♪
597
00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:47,166
♪ It's like, on this planet
Is where I landed ♪
598
00:25:47,250 --> 00:25:49,416
♪ Orbiting around myself, goddammit ♪
599
00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:53,958
♪ All I wanted was to fend for myself ♪
600
00:25:55,208 --> 00:25:59,208
♪ I wouldn't listen to no one else ♪
601
00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:04,416
♪ We're all alone together
The human race ♪
602
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:07,708
♪ On this lonely trip
Through outer space ♪
603
00:26:07,791 --> 00:26:09,750
FENCE PAINT
5 LITERS
604
00:26:09,833 --> 00:26:13,166
♪ On this lonely trip
Through outer space ♪
605
00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:17,583
♪ I used to think
Schitten was really a dump ♪
606
00:26:17,666 --> 00:26:20,083
♪ Until I realized it's the people
That makes my heart pump ♪
607
00:26:20,166 --> 00:26:22,333
♪ Paule, you're the biggest
Clown in town ♪
608
00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:25,125
♪ But truth is
You're the best friend that I've found ♪
609
00:26:25,208 --> 00:26:28,000
♪ Karo, your next wedding
I'll be rapping a song ♪
610
00:26:28,083 --> 00:26:30,541
♪ And Kaia, soon we'll be
Blowing shit up with your bombs ♪
611
00:26:30,625 --> 00:26:32,916
♪ We got it covered
The policeman's my sis ♪
612
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,666
♪ Nancy's the best
Fleischers never snitch ♪
613
00:26:35,750 --> 00:26:37,875
♪ And Jörg, my brother-in-law
I'm now admitting ♪
614
00:26:38,458 --> 00:26:40,625
♪ You're the number one
Best dentist in Schitten ♪
615
00:26:40,708 --> 00:26:41,750
♪ And I miss her ♪
616
00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:43,083
♪ Although Mama is gone ♪
617
00:26:43,166 --> 00:26:45,750
♪ But her nagging and bitching ghost
Still carries on ♪
618
00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:48,000
♪ Gyeah, from Schitten I tried to flee ♪
619
00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:50,833
♪ 'Cause I left Schitten
Schitten never left me ♪
620
00:26:50,916 --> 00:26:53,041
♪ Who'd have thought
That I could ever be a dad ♪
621
00:26:53,125 --> 00:26:56,041
♪ So on your feet, Schitten
Let's give Charly a hand ♪
622
00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:56,958
[all cheering]
623
00:26:57,041 --> 00:27:00,333
♪ All I wanted was to fend for myself ♪
624
00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:05,416
♪ I wouldn't listen to no one else ♪
625
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:10,750
♪ We're all alone together
The human race ♪
626
00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:14,166
♪ On this lonely trip
Through outer space ♪
627
00:27:15,833 --> 00:27:19,958
♪ On this lonely trip
Through outer space ♪
628
00:27:20,041 --> 00:27:21,416
[music ends]
629
00:27:24,416 --> 00:27:25,250
Wow.
630
00:27:29,333 --> 00:27:30,458
[gag pops]
631
00:27:34,166 --> 00:27:35,791
Bravo!
632
00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:38,875
-Yeah!
-[all cheering and applauding]
633
00:27:39,541 --> 00:27:40,583
Yeah, man!
634
00:27:40,666 --> 00:27:42,875
Woo-hoo! Hell yeah!
635
00:27:42,958 --> 00:27:44,916
[Tupac] Everyone cheered for Toni.
636
00:27:45,708 --> 00:27:48,875
The entire town, and his family.
637
00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:55,166
[all chanting] Toni! Toni! Toni!
638
00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:56,333
[Tupac, emotionally] Family.
639
00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:58,291
My family.
640
00:27:59,291 --> 00:28:01,208
My family is dead.
641
00:28:01,291 --> 00:28:02,500
Because of Toni!
642
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,375
Toni! [quacks]
643
00:28:06,208 --> 00:28:07,541
Time for revenge.
644
00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:08,458
[quacks]
645
00:28:08,541 --> 00:28:09,958
[creaking and rumbling]
646
00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:10,958
Shit.
647
00:28:12,916 --> 00:28:14,083
[all gasping]
648
00:28:16,791 --> 00:28:18,458
Whoa, what?
649
00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:21,125
[all] Shit!
650
00:28:23,166 --> 00:28:24,125
[Charly] Papa?
651
00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:27,333
[groans softly]
652
00:28:27,416 --> 00:28:30,208
-[wry country note playing]
-[distant dog barking]
653
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,208
-[grunts]
-Papa.
654
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:37,916
Papa.
655
00:28:39,916 --> 00:28:40,916
[laughs softly]
656
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,083
[Johnny] Teddy Bear!
657
00:28:42,166 --> 00:28:43,250
Huh…
658
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,375
[Jana] What a perfect evening.
659
00:28:46,416 --> 00:28:48,791
And we owe all of it to only one person.
660
00:28:51,083 --> 00:28:52,708
-Paule.
-[Toni] What?
661
00:28:52,791 --> 00:28:55,000
Paule. That play was [bleep] wonderful.
662
00:28:55,708 --> 00:28:58,333
Uh… [stammers] Thank you?
663
00:28:58,416 --> 00:29:00,583
I mean, you directed it,
acted in it, you sang.
664
00:29:00,666 --> 00:29:01,916
The genius of Schitten.
665
00:29:03,166 --> 00:29:04,041
Paule.
666
00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:10,791
[all joining in chanting]
Paule, Paule, Paule!
667
00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:12,125
-Paule!
-[Toni] Hello…
668
00:29:12,208 --> 00:29:13,833
-[chanting continues]
-Hello…
669
00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:15,875
-Hello, guys, can I just…
-[chanting stops]
670
00:29:15,958 --> 00:29:17,458
-[Toni exhales]
-Oh yes, of course.
671
00:29:18,041 --> 00:29:19,833
Best friend. [giggles]
672
00:29:21,291 --> 00:29:22,208
[sighs]
673
00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:24,708
-Dr. Drehws…
-Mm-hmm?
674
00:29:25,708 --> 00:29:26,750
Did I pull it off?
675
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,416
Of course. [laughs]
676
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:32,958
-[people chuckling]
-[sighs in relief]
677
00:29:33,041 --> 00:29:34,708
I'll see you Monday in the studio.
678
00:29:34,791 --> 00:29:36,041
[all laughing]
679
00:29:36,125 --> 00:29:41,541
Okay. Let's go to the junkyard, y'all.
Let's find [bleep] to blow up!
680
00:29:41,625 --> 00:29:45,791
[all cheering]
681
00:29:45,875 --> 00:29:46,708
[woman] All right!
682
00:29:49,541 --> 00:29:50,750
Well, you did it.
683
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,375
I'm proud of you, Dad.
684
00:29:58,291 --> 00:29:59,291
Thank you.
685
00:30:00,041 --> 00:30:00,958
For everything.
686
00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:04,166
[groaning]
687
00:30:04,750 --> 00:30:05,583
Sorry.
688
00:30:05,666 --> 00:30:06,791
-It's okay.
-Sorry, sorry.
689
00:30:06,875 --> 00:30:08,083
It's good, it's good.
690
00:30:09,291 --> 00:30:10,625
Let's get you home now, champ.
691
00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:12,041
Don't call me that.
692
00:30:12,125 --> 00:30:15,916
[Instrumental version of "What Is Love"
by Haddaway playing on organ]
693
00:30:22,541 --> 00:30:23,666
That should do it.
694
00:30:26,083 --> 00:30:28,333
[Tupac] Yep, that's how the story ended.
695
00:30:28,416 --> 00:30:29,416
[happy sigh]
696
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:31,583
After that, it was
your typical "ever after."
697
00:30:31,666 --> 00:30:33,708
Toni was successful,
had a great time with Charly,
698
00:30:33,791 --> 00:30:35,833
lived a long life, had 30 or so grandkids,
699
00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:38,375
did a lot for
the duck population in Brandenburg.
700
00:30:38,458 --> 00:30:40,541
You know, just good stuff all around.
701
00:30:40,625 --> 00:30:43,458
As president of the Toni Fleischer
Foundation for Waterbirds
702
00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:47,041
and the German Rap Monuments,
I'd like to thank you for your attention.
703
00:30:47,125 --> 00:30:49,000
-[quacking]
-Take care of yourselves.
704
00:30:49,083 --> 00:30:51,625
Call your parents. Be kind.
705
00:30:51,708 --> 00:30:52,916
Tupac out.
706
00:30:57,875 --> 00:30:59,041
[Toni] Um…
707
00:30:59,541 --> 00:31:03,041
Oh shit. [exclaiming shakily]
708
00:31:05,583 --> 00:31:07,041
[yelling weakly]
709
00:31:07,916 --> 00:31:10,833
Shit, shit. Shit, shit, shit!
710
00:31:10,916 --> 00:31:12,791
Oh…
711
00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,500
["What Is Love" continues]
712
00:32:32,625 --> 00:32:34,291
["What Is Love" ends]
713
00:32:34,375 --> 00:32:36,375
[hip-hop playing]
714
00:32:45,666 --> 00:32:48,250
[Toni] ♪ Giving my mom some dick?
Well, truth be told ♪
715
00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:51,208
♪ You're too late, my mom's dead
Her freaking body is cold ♪
716
00:32:51,291 --> 00:32:53,416
♪ So maybe find someone else
To ride your dick ♪
717
00:32:53,500 --> 00:32:56,500
♪ I just got the call
With strikes of lightning she was hit ♪
718
00:32:57,333 --> 00:32:58,875
♪ That's why them jokes ain't rich ♪
719
00:32:58,958 --> 00:33:01,958
♪ But Svenni's right
I'm a fat, useless bitch ♪
720
00:33:02,041 --> 00:33:04,625
♪ I always thought that
One day I'd be Tupac ♪
721
00:33:04,708 --> 00:33:07,250
♪ But nowadays
Everyone's encouraging me to stop ♪
722
00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:09,916
♪ I left my small town
To prove that I'm an innovator ♪
723
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,791
♪ It turns out I'm just
A corny, phony imitator ♪
724
00:33:12,875 --> 00:33:15,500
♪ When I was young and fresh
I used to spit the nicest ♪
725
00:33:15,583 --> 00:33:18,333
♪ I guess I paid the prices
Going through midlife crisis ♪
726
00:33:18,416 --> 00:33:20,666
♪ Now we're here again
Rapping at some world-weary kid ♪
727
00:33:20,750 --> 00:33:23,291
♪ Myriad of raps
Although he's never had his period ♪
728
00:33:23,375 --> 00:33:26,166
♪ My whole life I just knew
That I was gonna blow ♪
729
00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:28,791
♪ But when you watch your life go by
That ain't the way it goes ♪
730
00:33:28,875 --> 00:33:31,166
♪ All my life I knew
I'd be a master rapper ♪
731
00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:34,208
♪ But my resume just says
that I make pizza faster ♪
732
00:33:34,291 --> 00:33:36,583
♪ Believe in me?
Not even my moms ♪
733
00:33:36,666 --> 00:33:39,291
♪ Ashamed for 10 years
I never went home ♪
734
00:33:39,375 --> 00:33:41,375
♪ Shit, man
Mom gave it to me straight ♪
735
00:33:41,458 --> 00:33:44,708
♪ There was no way I would ever make it
With the rhymes that I create ♪
736
00:33:44,791 --> 00:33:47,375
♪ But I'm still on it
Realizing that I'm a pawn ♪
737
00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:50,250
♪ Dime a dozen, chasing a bullshit dream
Until time is gone ♪
738
00:33:50,333 --> 00:33:53,000
♪ Fuck it
'Cause it's too late for that, y'all ♪
739
00:33:53,708 --> 00:33:55,541
♪ I think I should just leave it all ♪
740
00:33:56,208 --> 00:33:57,333
[duck quacking]
741
00:33:57,416 --> 00:34:00,208
[water flowing]
742
00:34:00,291 --> 00:34:01,250
[duck quacks]
743
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:08,541
[multiple ducks quacking]
744
00:34:12,541 --> 00:34:14,541
-[duck quacks]
-[truck door opens and closes]
52671
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