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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,666 --> 00:00:10,666 [wistful music playing] 2 00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:14,875 FUNERALS OF ALL KINDS 3 00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:21,625 [Tupac] Go inside. Just go into the Fune-hair-eal Parlor, 4 00:00:21,708 --> 00:00:24,333 apologize, and everything will be fine. 5 00:00:25,250 --> 00:00:28,666 Don't just do your usual thing and run off when it gets tough. 6 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,916 Toni, you wuss! 7 00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:43,208 As expected, Toni didn't go inside. 8 00:00:43,291 --> 00:00:45,250 Instead, he wandered aimlessly through the night 9 00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:48,541 and dragged himself home at dawn, looking miserable. 10 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,666 See? Absolutely miserable. 11 00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:56,125 And Charly wasn't the only one he had screwed things up with. 12 00:00:56,208 --> 00:00:57,500 [thunder rumbling] 13 00:00:57,583 --> 00:01:01,916 [Drehws] Dalia, I need you to call Toni. 14 00:01:04,041 --> 00:01:07,958 [obnoxious hip-hop ringtone playing] 15 00:01:08,958 --> 00:01:10,500 Dr. Drehws, hello. 16 00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:14,708 [Drehws] Toni, Toni… Where do I even start? 17 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,375 Sunshine, good morning! 18 00:01:17,458 --> 00:01:19,708 I'm making a few pancakes for my kids here. 19 00:01:20,666 --> 00:01:22,250 -More marshmallows, okay? -Yes, sir. 20 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:25,083 Yeah, I think one of my kids loves marshmallows. 21 00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:28,166 I'll admit, when you suddenly vanished yesterday, 22 00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,125 I was pretty mad at you. 23 00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:31,958 But then your old man talked you up. 24 00:01:32,041 --> 00:01:34,291 He told me the truth. All of it. 25 00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:36,583 -The Swiss boy actor. -[man yawning] 26 00:01:36,666 --> 00:01:38,541 The fight with your real son, and why you left. 27 00:01:38,625 --> 00:01:39,916 So it got me thinking, 28 00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:44,250 "I guess Toni's doing the best he can, right?" 29 00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:47,208 Plus, if you can't take responsibility for your kids, 30 00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:50,833 you won't take responsibility for your career either. 31 00:01:50,916 --> 00:01:52,083 Dalia! 32 00:01:52,583 --> 00:01:53,708 -Yeah? -Oh. 33 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:57,083 -How are we picking Toni up today? -The pink porno limousine. 34 00:01:57,166 --> 00:01:58,875 Pink porno limousine. 35 00:01:58,958 --> 00:02:00,333 Sounds about right. 36 00:02:00,416 --> 00:02:05,916 Toni, you're going to be the opening act at Pipo's concert tonight. 37 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,625 Fifteen thousand people chanting your name. 38 00:02:10,708 --> 00:02:17,708 [all chanting] Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! 39 00:02:17,791 --> 00:02:20,083 Toni! Toni! Toni! 40 00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:22,458 Today could be a historic day, 41 00:02:23,041 --> 00:02:25,541 or a total disaster, who knows. [chuckles] 42 00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:28,125 The car's on its way. Toodle-oo! 43 00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:30,541 "Toodle-oo"? 44 00:02:32,708 --> 00:02:33,916 [Johnny] So? 45 00:02:38,416 --> 00:02:39,708 I haven't messed it up yet! 46 00:02:39,791 --> 00:02:40,875 -[laughs] -Ahh! 47 00:02:40,958 --> 00:02:43,166 -Yeah! -Yeah. Ow! 48 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,750 -Sorry. I… -[both grunting excitedly] 49 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:46,666 Mm. 50 00:02:50,708 --> 00:02:51,708 -Mwah! -Ugh… 51 00:02:51,791 --> 00:02:53,666 -It's your time to shine, kid. -[car horn honks] 52 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:56,291 [hip-hop beat playing] 53 00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,166 [horn honks] 54 00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:17,125 -Oh my goodness. -[laughs] 55 00:03:18,791 --> 00:03:21,458 My son… I'm really proud of you. 56 00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:24,083 Thanks for everything. 57 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,500 "Thanks for everything…" 58 00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:28,833 Thanks for everything… Papa. 59 00:03:28,916 --> 00:03:30,750 [excited laughing] 60 00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:33,750 -Sure thing. -Mm-hmm. 61 00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:39,083 Um… Do you want… 62 00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:41,250 To come along? Wha… Me? 63 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:43,375 [laughs] Well, nah. 64 00:03:44,041 --> 00:03:45,500 But maybe Charly wants to. 65 00:03:45,583 --> 00:03:47,583 [intriguing music playing] 66 00:03:49,666 --> 00:03:52,416 -Thank you. -[Tupac] He hadn't messed up with Drehws. 67 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,000 So maybe he still had a chance with Charly too. 68 00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,083 [twittering] 69 00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:59,875 Look at my Teddy Bear in the pink porno limousine. 70 00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:02,500 They just grow up so fast. 71 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,583 Excuse me, driver… 72 00:04:19,666 --> 00:04:20,958 Can we stop somewhere? 73 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:25,000 [man] Anything you want, my little superstar. 74 00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:27,375 Bruce Willis? 75 00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:29,875 [Bruce] No, I'm just the car. 76 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,041 Why do you sound like Bruce Willis? 77 00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:35,833 [Bruce] Because that's the voice you want to hear right now. 78 00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,125 Sick. So true. 79 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:42,416 Can you… Can you say, "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker"? 80 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,166 [Bruce] Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! 81 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:48,541 CRAP HAPPENS 82 00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:49,916 [vibrating] 83 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,791 [Johnny] A call? For Johnny? 84 00:04:52,916 --> 00:04:54,500 Good morning, Jörgi. 85 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,791 -[Jörg] Hey, Johnny. -What's going on? 86 00:04:57,875 --> 00:04:59,833 I'm worried about Nancy. 87 00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:01,458 What's wrong with her? 88 00:05:01,541 --> 00:05:03,958 She doesn't want to brush her teeth anymore. 89 00:05:04,541 --> 00:05:07,541 [Tupac] What Jörg actually meant with his dental hygiene concerns was this. 90 00:05:07,625 --> 00:05:10,041 After Nancy was fired for her illicit investigations… 91 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:11,583 I said you're fired! 92 00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:15,333 [Tupac] …she went, as any die-hard law enforcer would, completely rogue. 93 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,958 She stopped showering, got a bunch of little strings, 94 00:05:19,041 --> 00:05:20,583 and printed out photos and whatever. 95 00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:22,750 You've all seen crime shows before. You know the drill. 96 00:05:23,541 --> 00:05:25,875 And looked off dramatically. 97 00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:29,708 Oh, good Lord, Jörg! Listen closely. 98 00:05:29,791 --> 00:05:31,916 Stay where you are, and don't move an inch, all right? 99 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,541 Tupac, where are my pants? 100 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,125 -[quacks] -Again? 101 00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:37,833 [exclaims] 102 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,416 FUNE-HAIR-EAL PARLOR 103 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:44,666 [radio DJ] This is Schitten Radio back again, the station that always knows 104 00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:47,041 what's happening with you. 105 00:05:47,125 --> 00:05:48,666 With a song everyone loves. 106 00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,750 ♪ Buzzard, buzzard, this is my advice ♪ 107 00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:52,000 ♪ Kawaaa… ♪ 108 00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:54,083 [DJ] By a man everyone loves. 109 00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:55,750 Everyone loves Toni. 110 00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:58,250 Absolutely everyone. Right? 111 00:05:58,333 --> 00:05:59,500 -Mama… -Someone doesn't? 112 00:05:59,583 --> 00:06:02,166 -Yeah? -Can you please turn off the stupid radio? 113 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,250 ♪ This is my advice ♪ 114 00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:06,541 -[DJ] No! -Okay. You still mad at Toni? 115 00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:09,958 It was a stupid idea. 116 00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:13,125 No, it wasn't a stupid idea. He's just an idiot. 117 00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:17,458 Yeah, but how hard is it to just be there for your kid? 118 00:06:17,541 --> 00:06:19,041 That's all I ever wanted. 119 00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,208 I know. 120 00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:24,291 I mean, it would've been so cool if we could talk without words? 121 00:06:24,375 --> 00:06:26,250 -[Jana] Like us? -[Charly] Like us. 122 00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:28,666 [Jana] A telepathic parent-child connection is so cool! 123 00:06:29,291 --> 00:06:30,458 [Charly] So cool! 124 00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:32,791 But I get nothing from him. 125 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:38,000 [Tupac] Charly wanted a sweet and caring dad who was just there for him. 126 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:39,583 But what he got was… 127 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,291 [hip-hop beat playing] 128 00:06:41,375 --> 00:06:42,583 [Charly] What the hell? 129 00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:47,083 [Tupac] …a rapper in a pink porno limousine. 130 00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:49,000 Hey. Hi. 131 00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:52,958 [Jana] Oh. 132 00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:57,333 The Father of the Year is here. 133 00:06:58,333 --> 00:06:59,333 Charly… 134 00:07:01,625 --> 00:07:02,625 I'm sorry. 135 00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:05,083 -I'm sorry I lied to you. -Mm. 136 00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:09,166 I'm performing at this huge concert tonight as the opening act, and, 137 00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:13,958 you know, if it goes well… then I'll get signed, and, well, 138 00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:15,833 everything will be a lot easier. 139 00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:18,916 And I'll have a lot more time for us. 140 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,458 No more lies, okay? 141 00:07:24,625 --> 00:07:26,125 [clears throat] That's it? 142 00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:29,500 Uh, I thought maybe you'd wanna come along? 143 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,208 So you can see what I do and why it's so important to me. 144 00:07:32,291 --> 00:07:34,208 [emotional music playing] 145 00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:38,166 [Charly] I told you. Your career or me. 146 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,250 [takes deep breath] 147 00:07:41,583 --> 00:07:44,000 Good luck at your concert… 148 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:46,750 Toni. 149 00:07:57,666 --> 00:07:58,625 Leave. 150 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,333 Sorry. 151 00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:12,208 [sighs] 152 00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:24,666 [engine starts] 153 00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:30,750 [Jana] Hey, Snugglebug… 154 00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:35,958 We could just go to Tropical Island together. 155 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,333 To clear your head a bit. 156 00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:44,833 [Charly] Can you stop with the commercials for Tropical Island, please? 157 00:08:44,916 --> 00:08:46,375 -Sorry. -[door closes] 158 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,500 [Bruce] Don't be sad, motherfucker. 159 00:08:51,583 --> 00:08:55,625 You remind me of myself in the '90s art house masterpiece, Armageddon. 160 00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,666 I had to leave my daughter behind back then too. 161 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,583 Uh… Sorry, Bruce, I don't think Armageddon's gonna help me right now. 162 00:09:04,666 --> 00:09:06,583 [Bruce] Armageddon always helps. 163 00:09:06,666 --> 00:09:08,750 My destiny was to drill asteroids. 164 00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:13,083 Your destiny is to become a great rap star. Okay? 165 00:09:14,458 --> 00:09:16,541 -Okay. -[crowd] Toni! Toni! 166 00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:20,458 -Then let's go to Berlin. -[crowd] Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! 167 00:09:24,583 --> 00:09:28,666 [country rap beat playing] 168 00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:36,666 PEDICURES 169 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:46,125 [Jörg] Nance-mouse? I brought your papa, baby. 170 00:09:47,791 --> 00:09:49,791 -Princess? -Don't call me that. 171 00:09:49,875 --> 00:09:51,625 Okay. Um… 172 00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:56,041 Nancy, do you maybe wanna tell Daddy what you're working on here? 173 00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,458 You would never understand. 174 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,833 There are some things out there that are so horrific… 175 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:09,416 Mysteries so… unexplainable, so unspeakable, so inconceivable, 176 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:13,375 so… dark that no one could ever unravel them. 177 00:10:13,458 --> 00:10:15,333 -Wait, I know what this is. -What? 178 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,041 [mysterious music playing] 179 00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:28,916 It's asparagus. 180 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,375 Asparagus? 181 00:10:30,458 --> 00:10:34,208 Blue asparagus. It grows in our garden. I just toss it out in the garbage. 182 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:35,916 But why is it blue? 183 00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:38,583 I think it's a mutation. 184 00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:40,791 That could be it, considering Kaia's bomb experiments. 185 00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:43,708 -Are you ready, you [bleep]? -Yeah. 186 00:10:43,791 --> 00:10:44,958 BACK IN KAIA'S BOMBING PHASE 187 00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:46,416 [Kaia] Bomb experiment 473. 188 00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:49,708 [both] Yeah! 189 00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:52,583 -[Wera] Kids! -[both] Man… 190 00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:56,250 -Enough of that crap! Dinner's ready! -[Karo] What about the other bombs? 191 00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:58,000 [Kaia] Don't be a [bleep] snitch! 192 00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:05,791 Why would someone turn our asparagus into some sort of drug deal? 193 00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,458 'Cause there's an institution in Germany that'd never allow 194 00:11:08,541 --> 00:11:10,833 genetically altered food with who-knows-what inside 195 00:11:10,916 --> 00:11:12,083 to hit the legal market. 196 00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:14,875 An institution that we all respect. 197 00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:18,916 The only authority in our country that no one fucks with. 198 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,458 The National Dental Chamber. 199 00:11:20,541 --> 00:11:22,166 What? No, Jörg. 200 00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:24,583 -The Department of Food Safety. -[Johnny] Yes, exactly. 201 00:11:24,666 --> 00:11:27,041 [Nancy] But why are people getting addicted to it? 202 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:28,750 That, Nancy-Pants… 203 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,791 we'll likely never learn. 204 00:11:32,416 --> 00:11:34,083 Have you tried it before? 205 00:11:34,916 --> 00:11:35,916 What? 206 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,666 Of course not. I hate asparagus. 207 00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:39,291 Aw, just like Papa. 208 00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:41,291 Because of the texture, the smell… 209 00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:43,750 -The hollandaise sauce. -[both retching] 210 00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:48,791 [retching continues] 211 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,208 I'll do it. 212 00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:51,375 What? 213 00:11:51,458 --> 00:11:52,333 I'll try it. 214 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:56,375 -You'd do that for me, Jörg? -Even the base. I'd eat it all for you. 215 00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:57,583 [retches] 216 00:11:57,666 --> 00:11:58,500 Oh, Jörg. 217 00:11:58,583 --> 00:11:59,916 -[Johnny retches] -Nancy. 218 00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:01,625 [retches] 219 00:12:01,708 --> 00:12:03,875 [mysterious sitar music playing] 220 00:12:13,791 --> 00:12:14,958 [Johnny gags] 221 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,166 [Jörg] Hm. 222 00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:19,583 [Johnny groans in disgust] 223 00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:22,250 So? 224 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,583 -[gulps] Yup, it's good. -[Nancy sighs] 225 00:12:25,666 --> 00:12:27,666 Normally, I think asparagus is pretty tasteless. 226 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,791 -But I can eat this one plain. -[Johnny retches] 227 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,791 Do you feel anything? 228 00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:36,166 [indistinct voices echoing in Russian] 229 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:37,833 Do you hear that voice as well? 230 00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:39,583 Yeah. 231 00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:41,791 -Jörgi! -[woman speaking Russian] 232 00:12:41,875 --> 00:12:43,916 Don't forget, you have an appointment next week. 233 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:46,125 [whispers] Goddammit. 234 00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:49,916 Well, maybe we just have to wait a little before it starts kicking in. 235 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,208 [clock ticking] 236 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:58,333 [dynamic hip-hop beat playing] 237 00:12:58,416 --> 00:13:01,875 [Tupac] And while the three of them waited for the asparagus to hit… 238 00:13:03,541 --> 00:13:06,291 Toni arrived in Berlin like a real rap star. 239 00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:27,750 [Pipo] ♪ Pizza Boy Yeah, I bring that pizza, boy ♪ 240 00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:31,166 ♪ Delivered straight to your door Hot and ready, hits ahoy ♪ 241 00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:34,541 ♪ Pizza boy, pizza boy Yeah, I bring that pizza, boy ♪ 242 00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:38,000 ♪ Bring only the purest joy Pipo got the freshest toys ♪ 243 00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:41,458 ♪ Pizza boy Yeah, I bring that pizza, boy ♪ 244 00:13:41,541 --> 00:13:44,791 ♪ Delivered straight to your door Hot and ready, hits ahoy ♪ 245 00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:48,208 ♪ Pizza boy, pizza boy Yeah, I bring that pizza, boy ♪ 246 00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:51,125 ♪ Bring only the purest joy Pipo got the freshest toys ♪ 247 00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:53,333 Pipo, dude, how sick is this? 248 00:13:55,541 --> 00:13:57,791 -Stop the beat. -[music stops] 249 00:13:58,458 --> 00:13:59,458 Who are you? 250 00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:01,833 Uh, Toni? 251 00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:06,125 Toni… Toni, right! 252 00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:08,000 Hey, I barely recognized ya. 253 00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:10,958 We worked together in that… What was it? Pizza place! 254 00:14:11,041 --> 00:14:12,333 You mean last week? 255 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:15,083 Jeez, I can hardly remember anymore. Was that it? 256 00:14:15,166 --> 00:14:18,166 [Tupac] In just one week as a rap star at Cutie Heart Records, 257 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:21,375 Pipo recorded eight songs, played 16 concerts, 258 00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:24,208 opened three orphanages and four furniture stores, 259 00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:26,708 all on a whopping six hours of sleep total. 260 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,416 How's your mom, bro? Has she recovered from that… death? 261 00:14:31,416 --> 00:14:32,416 No. 262 00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:34,166 Give her my best, dude. 263 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,291 Thanks. 264 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:40,875 Yeah, dude. Congratulations. I mean… Rapping for thousands, right? 265 00:14:40,958 --> 00:14:43,000 Number one on the charts? 266 00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:45,875 Pipo, are you okay? 267 00:14:47,416 --> 00:14:49,791 -Pipo? -A little wisdom for you, bro. 268 00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:55,333 Yo, run for your life, bro. 269 00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:59,041 This game… It'll eat you alive, bro. 270 00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,083 I'm so tired. 271 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,958 -I don't have time anymore… for anything. -What's going on? 272 00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,500 -What's wrong? -[sobbing] 273 00:15:05,583 --> 00:15:06,708 Susi's dead! 274 00:15:06,791 --> 00:15:08,958 [tragic music playing] 275 00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:14,333 -[sobbing continues] -Susi? You're kidding. 276 00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:17,708 [Pipo] She's dead 'cause I didn't have time for her anymore. 277 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:19,250 Pipo, they need you backstage. 278 00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:22,500 Sleep. I just need to sleep for, like, an hour. 279 00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:25,125 You can sleep when the tour's over. Go, hurry! 280 00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,500 -Go! -Run away, bro. 281 00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:29,833 [footsteps receding] 282 00:15:29,916 --> 00:15:30,916 -Toni, hey! -Hey. 283 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,875 Glad you made it. Come backstage. 284 00:15:35,375 --> 00:15:37,958 -Okay. -[dynamic hip-hop beat playing] 285 00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:39,291 [Toni] Dalia, is Pipo all right? 286 00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:41,333 [Dalia] Yeah, he'll be fine. Here, this is for you. 287 00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:44,208 -Is this my contract? -No, those are your appointments. Here. 288 00:15:45,291 --> 00:15:46,333 CONTRACT- GNARLY RAP CAREER 289 00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:47,416 My first rap contract. 290 00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,083 And here's the marketing concept. 291 00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:50,708 -With even more appointments. -Okay. 292 00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:52,875 If it goes well tonight, we'll start with the album, 293 00:15:52,958 --> 00:15:56,291 pulling together the band, internet presence, game shows, podcasts. 294 00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:58,375 Next year, festivals, tour, and second album. 295 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,250 We'll keep it old school the year after that, 296 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,875 meaning drug addiction, rehab, recovery book, third album. 297 00:16:02,958 --> 00:16:03,791 Okay… 298 00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:06,958 In eight years, we'll do a biopic about your life. Hold on… 299 00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:08,625 Here, the script's ready. 300 00:16:08,708 --> 00:16:10,500 Just stick to that. It's all in there, okay? 301 00:16:11,750 --> 00:16:13,958 AXEL STEIN AS TONI EMILIO SAKRAYA AS JOHNNY CARRERA 302 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,541 DON'T RAP YOUR LIFE, LIVE YOUR RAP! A FEEL-GOOD MOVIE FROM NETFLIX 303 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,583 [Toni] Netflix? Okay… 304 00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,625 [hip-hop continues] 305 00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:36,791 Whoa. 306 00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:43,208 [DJ] Two hours and 34 minutes left until Toni Fleischer's big performance tonight. 307 00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:48,583 Anyone in Schitten who still wants to go last-minute should head out soon. 308 00:16:48,666 --> 00:16:51,708 Very soon. Like, now. 309 00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:57,500 Schitten Radio. The station that serves you. And your feelings. 310 00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,875 -Snugglebug? -Hm? 311 00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:03,208 -Are you having a hard time? -No, why? 312 00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:06,791 Maybe you should take it easy on the cocoa. 313 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:08,583 [Charly sighs] 314 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,750 [DJ] Hello? You're going to miss the concert. 315 00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:16,916 I hope that's what you want, 'cause you won't get another chance. 316 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,458 Am I making a mistake? 317 00:17:20,416 --> 00:17:21,750 [DJ] You might be. 318 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,791 Honestly, you have every single right in the world to be angry with him. 319 00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:30,458 But at Tropical Island, where everyday life takes a backseat, 320 00:17:30,541 --> 00:17:32,958 I learned it's okay to listen to your heart, 321 00:17:33,041 --> 00:17:36,500 and to maybe give your stupid rapper father one last chance. 322 00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:38,416 That's a super specific lesson. 323 00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,625 -Yeah. That's Tropical Island. -[DJ] Hello? 324 00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:42,625 Is anyone listening? 325 00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:45,375 Does anyone even listen to the radio anymore? 326 00:17:45,458 --> 00:17:46,875 I'm so lonely. 327 00:17:46,958 --> 00:17:48,916 [Tupac] While Charly mulled it over, 328 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,416 the trio at the police station were still waiting for Jörg to feel anything 329 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,916 other than the urge to cure cavities. 330 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,625 Well, Jörgi? Still don't feel anything? 331 00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,750 [clock ticking] 332 00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,000 I need to pee. 333 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,458 [chair scrapes] 334 00:18:10,666 --> 00:18:12,750 INVESTIGATIVE FOOD SAFETY ADMINISTRATION 335 00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:16,416 Y'know, I used to wanna work with food safety. 336 00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:19,041 You don't say, Nancy. 337 00:18:19,541 --> 00:18:21,541 Mm-hmm. In the '90s, yeah. 338 00:18:22,291 --> 00:18:25,583 I wish I could flash back to those days, just to feel how I felt then. 339 00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:27,666 ["Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus playing] 340 00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:32,291 ♪ I have a dream about her She rings my bell… ♪ 341 00:18:32,375 --> 00:18:35,333 [Nancy] We were all crazy about blue slushies. 342 00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:37,041 And we got a hell of a lot of brain freeze. 343 00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:44,125 Little did we know that damn thing was spiked with Molly. 344 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,250 [machine whirring] 345 00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:50,250 -[Nancy] Then one day, they came. -[slurping] 346 00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:51,166 [tires squealing] 347 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:56,166 ♪ 'Cause I'm just A teenage dirtbag, baby ♪ 348 00:18:56,250 --> 00:19:01,500 ♪ Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby ♪ 349 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:04,708 ♪ Listen to Iron Maiden… ♪ 350 00:19:04,791 --> 00:19:07,166 That's when I knew I wanted to be a law enforcer. 351 00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:10,666 But my mother said the DFS only takes the best of the best. 352 00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:14,791 [rock song ends] 353 00:19:16,958 --> 00:19:20,583 So I never sent my application to the Department of Food Safety Academy. 354 00:19:21,583 --> 00:19:23,500 And became a local police officer instead. 355 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:26,708 Nancy, come here. 356 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,041 -I'll break your arms. -Okay. 357 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,125 [Jörg] Johnny! Johnny! 358 00:19:32,208 --> 00:19:33,291 [Johnny] What is it? 359 00:19:37,375 --> 00:19:38,375 Smell it! 360 00:19:38,458 --> 00:19:39,958 Ew, no! 361 00:19:40,541 --> 00:19:42,666 -Please just smell it. -Ew, Jörg, that's disgusting! 362 00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,250 Johnny Carrera, you are smelling my pee-pee. 363 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:47,125 Oka… Uh, okay. 364 00:19:47,208 --> 00:19:50,500 [intriguing music playing] 365 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:55,791 [sniffing] 366 00:19:56,708 --> 00:19:57,708 [gasps] 367 00:19:57,791 --> 00:19:59,750 [inhales deeply] 368 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:03,666 There's no scent. 369 00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,750 Yeah. See what I mean? 370 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:08,458 -Oh! [laughs] Cool! -[laughing] 371 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,791 Ah! That's it! Nancy! Follow me! 372 00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:11,833 -Nance-mouse! -Nancy! 373 00:20:11,916 --> 00:20:13,000 -Nancy! -Nance-mouse! Ahh! 374 00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:14,875 -[cheering] -[hip-hop beat playing] 375 00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:18,708 [Pipo] ♪ I'm walking slow motion From the pizzeria ♪ 376 00:20:18,791 --> 00:20:21,583 ♪ I'm ordering Another round of Margheritas ♪ 377 00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:24,583 ♪ Nah, nah I ain't talking 'bout tequila ♪ 378 00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:28,958 ♪ Me and my señoritas eating Margheritas ♪ 379 00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,833 ♪ Salami, salami, salami, salami, salami ♪ 380 00:20:30,916 --> 00:20:33,750 [Tupac] 150 performances in the first year alone, 381 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,916 300 promo dates, and 180 days on the road. 382 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,416 [Drehws] Knock, knock. 383 00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:39,708 Nah… Don't get up. 384 00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:46,375 So, you got any questions before your first buzzard flight to the sky? 385 00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:51,208 Um… How does it work with kids? 386 00:20:52,875 --> 00:20:53,875 Ah… 387 00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,125 Listen… 388 00:20:59,416 --> 00:21:05,833 When a man and a woman… like each other very much… 389 00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:09,916 or when same-sex couples, y'know, decide they're ready to have children-- 390 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,250 -No, Dr. Drehws. -It's possible-- 391 00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:13,291 What I mean, actually, is, uh, 392 00:21:13,833 --> 00:21:17,875 how can someone have a career like this in rap and still be there as a father? 393 00:21:17,958 --> 00:21:19,791 How does it work? How do you do it? 394 00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:21,708 Oh. 395 00:21:22,291 --> 00:21:25,291 I don't have to work. I'm rich. 396 00:21:27,291 --> 00:21:29,291 Ah, so rich… 397 00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:31,791 Yeah, that makes sense. 398 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,583 -Yeah. -Mm-hmm. 399 00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:37,208 All right then. 400 00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,500 Break a leg. 401 00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,250 [snorting laugh] 402 00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:46,708 [emotional music playing] 403 00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:53,166 [Tupac] There's no way he could live a normal life with a contract like this. 404 00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:57,000 It was either that or a family. 405 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,000 He couldn't have both. 406 00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:00,291 [woman clearing throat] 407 00:22:00,375 --> 00:22:01,833 Surprise. 408 00:22:01,916 --> 00:22:04,750 Hey. So you changed your mind? 409 00:22:08,166 --> 00:22:15,166 Well, you're not the father Charly wanted, but you're the father he has. So… 410 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:16,833 work it out. 411 00:22:16,916 --> 00:22:22,291 And I am going to leave you alone. 412 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:25,000 [ominous music playing] 413 00:22:25,083 --> 00:22:26,500 [Johnny laughing] 414 00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:30,416 We've got it! We know the secret behind the blue asparagus. 415 00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:32,916 [sniffing] 416 00:22:33,541 --> 00:22:35,208 -Huh? -Smell-free urine! 417 00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:36,666 [gasps] 418 00:22:36,750 --> 00:22:39,625 [ominous music playing] 419 00:22:39,708 --> 00:22:41,416 [Johnny] I mean, think about it. 420 00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:43,708 Asparagus that actually has some flavor for a change 421 00:22:43,791 --> 00:22:45,333 and doesn't make your urine stink. 422 00:22:45,416 --> 00:22:47,583 Of course everyone's completely hooked on it. 423 00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:49,125 Especially in Berlin. 424 00:22:49,208 --> 00:22:51,875 I want more. Give me more! 425 00:22:51,958 --> 00:22:53,875 Pull yourself together. 426 00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:55,416 What do you mean by that? 427 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:58,750 People in Berlin are completely obsessed with their own pee. 428 00:22:58,833 --> 00:22:59,666 [gasps] 429 00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:01,416 [sinister music playing] 430 00:23:03,375 --> 00:23:06,166 Urine parties here, urine tastings there, 431 00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:10,166 urine shakes in the a.m., or urine cream soup in the p.m. 432 00:23:10,250 --> 00:23:11,791 I hate Berlin. 433 00:23:11,875 --> 00:23:13,000 [man outside] Hey! 434 00:23:17,416 --> 00:23:18,375 For Mama. 435 00:23:20,375 --> 00:23:22,375 -[shots firing] -[screaming] 436 00:23:30,833 --> 00:23:32,666 [gunfire continues] 437 00:23:33,250 --> 00:23:37,125 [ethereal music playing] 438 00:23:44,416 --> 00:23:47,416 [distorted] No! 439 00:23:52,666 --> 00:23:54,333 [screaming in panic] 440 00:24:09,875 --> 00:24:11,458 [crowd cheering] 441 00:24:11,541 --> 00:24:15,166 [Pipo] Okay, I'm gonna sing one more song, and then it's Toni! 442 00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:17,250 [crowd cheering] 443 00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:20,625 [Jana] Just talk to each other already! 444 00:24:24,625 --> 00:24:25,833 So, are you nervous? 445 00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:27,166 Nah. 446 00:24:27,958 --> 00:24:28,833 The honest answer. 447 00:24:28,916 --> 00:24:31,583 Actually, I think I might've peed myself a little. 448 00:24:32,750 --> 00:24:36,250 [both laughing] 449 00:24:37,250 --> 00:24:40,541 Maybe I was a little bit unfair before. 450 00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:43,833 Maybe it could work, rap and me. 451 00:24:45,666 --> 00:24:46,958 [Jana] Keep talking. 452 00:24:47,041 --> 00:24:48,250 [slurps] 453 00:24:49,125 --> 00:24:50,500 Ahh. 454 00:24:51,875 --> 00:24:52,791 What's that? 455 00:24:53,791 --> 00:24:55,208 This is my contract. 456 00:24:55,291 --> 00:24:56,708 -Mm-hmm. -And this thing here is 457 00:24:56,791 --> 00:24:59,708 a really, really thick marketing plan. 458 00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:02,791 With, um… lots of appointments. 459 00:25:02,875 --> 00:25:05,250 Toni! You're up in ten. Move it already! 460 00:25:06,166 --> 00:25:09,083 Yeah, uh, I'm talking to my son right now. 461 00:25:09,166 --> 00:25:10,958 Well, do that later! 462 00:25:11,041 --> 00:25:12,000 [scoffs] 463 00:25:13,166 --> 00:25:15,250 Sorry, Charly. I gotta go on stage. 464 00:25:16,083 --> 00:25:19,625 Um… Hey, we could watch Armageddon tonight though, if you want. 465 00:25:19,708 --> 00:25:22,750 -I've already seen it. For school. -What do you mean, for school? 466 00:25:22,833 --> 00:25:26,333 Um, Armageddon. It's my school play, and I'm doing the music. 467 00:25:26,416 --> 00:25:28,791 Oh yeah. Totally forgot. 468 00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:29,708 Yeah, I know. 469 00:25:34,250 --> 00:25:37,250 But hey, you'll have more time for me now, right? 470 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:41,958 Right? 471 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:44,041 [emotional music playing] 472 00:25:47,208 --> 00:25:49,375 -You said no more lies. -Um… 473 00:25:51,208 --> 00:25:53,125 [Tupac] So there was Toni, 474 00:25:53,208 --> 00:25:55,958 just minutes away from his big performance, 475 00:25:56,041 --> 00:25:58,916 the one that would change his life forever. 476 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,541 He could already hear the crowd chanting his name. 477 00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:03,166 [crowd] Toni! Toni! Toni! 478 00:26:03,250 --> 00:26:05,208 [Tupac] But how was he going to explain to Charly 479 00:26:05,291 --> 00:26:07,791 that he wouldn't have time for him anymore? 480 00:26:07,875 --> 00:26:10,666 "You said that today, remember?" Charly would add. 481 00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:14,500 If Toni were to tell him the truth, he would say, 482 00:26:14,583 --> 00:26:16,666 "I think it's going to be even worse." 483 00:26:16,750 --> 00:26:18,708 And that would break Charly's heart. 484 00:26:19,833 --> 00:26:22,125 Toni would try to stop him. 485 00:26:22,208 --> 00:26:26,833 He'd go after him and say, "Charly, wait, we can do this. " 486 00:26:26,916 --> 00:26:30,583 But then Charly would answer, "Do you really believe that?" 487 00:26:30,666 --> 00:26:31,500 [crowd] Toni! Toni! 488 00:26:31,583 --> 00:26:33,625 [Tupac] And the crowd would chant even louder. 489 00:26:33,708 --> 00:26:36,958 Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! 490 00:26:37,041 --> 00:26:39,750 And Charly would walk away silently… 491 00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:42,958 and he would never look back. 492 00:26:43,041 --> 00:26:45,250 [crowd] Toni! Toni! Toni! 493 00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:48,041 -[Tupac] Toni would lose Charly. -Toni! Toni! Toni! 494 00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:50,375 [Tupac] Charly would go home. 495 00:26:50,458 --> 00:26:53,125 Jana would keep getting hammered. 496 00:26:53,208 --> 00:26:58,708 And Toni would walk onto the big stage, like he'd dreamed of all his life. 497 00:26:59,375 --> 00:27:00,583 He'd be a star. 498 00:27:01,541 --> 00:27:05,458 But the whole time, he'd think about nothing else but… 499 00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:10,333 ["Wunder gibt es immer wieder" by Katja Ebstein playing] 500 00:27:42,583 --> 00:27:48,708 [crowd] Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! Toni! 501 00:27:48,791 --> 00:27:52,000 [chanting continues] 502 00:27:52,083 --> 00:27:55,791 [Pipo] Toni, bro. Come out, bro. Where are you? 503 00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:58,916 -Yeah, I don't know… -Go back there and look for him, dammit! 504 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,000 [Pipo] Did you run away, bro? 505 00:28:01,083 --> 00:28:02,375 [chanting echoes] 506 00:28:02,458 --> 00:28:04,041 [Pipo] Take me with you, bro. 507 00:28:04,125 --> 00:28:06,291 [chanting continues] 508 00:28:06,375 --> 00:28:07,291 [Pipo] Bro? 509 00:28:07,375 --> 00:28:08,416 Toni! 510 00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:10,500 [muffled chanting continues] 511 00:28:12,750 --> 00:28:13,833 [gasps] 512 00:28:18,833 --> 00:28:19,916 Shit. 513 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,291 ["Jein" by Fettes Brot playing] 514 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,208 [Toni] Hey, is there something I could do in your school play? 515 00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:37,166 [Charly] Uh, you could move the crane. It's like towing, only in a theater. 516 00:28:37,250 --> 00:28:39,041 [Toni] Oh, cool, perfect. 517 00:28:40,333 --> 00:28:41,291 Check this out. 518 00:28:42,750 --> 00:28:44,333 -Bruce? -[Bruce] Yeah? 519 00:28:45,291 --> 00:28:48,125 -Drive us home. -[Bruce] No problem, motherfucker. 520 00:28:49,166 --> 00:28:51,041 Oh, you guys are so cute. 521 00:28:51,125 --> 00:28:55,291 You remind me of my character in the '90s masterpiece The Sixth Sense. 522 00:28:56,291 --> 00:29:00,166 I was faced with a choice back then, and I also chose the weird little kid. 523 00:29:00,250 --> 00:29:01,791 Spent all my time with him. 524 00:29:02,416 --> 00:29:05,083 Seriously, every free minute. 525 00:29:05,750 --> 00:29:06,916 It was nice. 526 00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:09,541 No life of my own anymore. 527 00:29:10,041 --> 00:29:11,291 No hopes. 528 00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:13,083 No dreams. 529 00:29:13,625 --> 00:29:14,791 No passion. 530 00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:18,541 Only that kid. Every day. 531 00:29:19,875 --> 00:29:21,625 Turns out I was dead in the end. 532 00:29:22,458 --> 00:29:23,916 [both] Shit. 533 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,041 ["Jein" continues] 534 00:29:29,333 --> 00:29:31,666 -[Johnny] You okay? Everyone all right? -[Nancy] I think so. 535 00:29:31,750 --> 00:29:33,083 [Johnny] We're okay. 536 00:29:33,166 --> 00:29:36,583 -Wait! Oh no, Vladimir. -[Vladimir groaning] 537 00:29:38,791 --> 00:29:40,583 I'm here. I'm a doctor. 538 00:29:40,666 --> 00:29:43,083 Come on, you're just a dentist. 539 00:29:44,583 --> 00:29:47,208 The mayor. She's behind this. 540 00:29:47,291 --> 00:29:48,791 It can't be the mayor! 541 00:29:48,875 --> 00:29:51,166 That's why she made me that offer. 542 00:29:51,791 --> 00:29:54,875 It's all about that stupid blue asparagus, isn't it? 543 00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:56,958 What do we do now? 544 00:30:00,458 --> 00:30:01,625 We've gotta stop her. 545 00:30:02,125 --> 00:30:05,958 ["Jein" continues] 546 00:30:07,291 --> 00:30:11,458 [singing in German] 547 00:30:11,541 --> 00:30:15,958 [rapping in German] 548 00:33:38,208 --> 00:33:40,208 ["Jein" fades out] 40350

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